KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 The camera cuts to an office where OAOAST President Bill Watts is sitting. BILL WATTS Good evening. As you know, last Sunday at Anglepalooza, there was some controversy in the X-Division Championship Match between Reject and "The Birmingham Bad Boy" Jamie O' Hara. Reject originally got the pinfall, however O' Hara's foot was on the bottom rope, which meant that the pinfall did not count. THEN, O' Hara got the pinfall, but Reject put *his* foot on the bottom rope. The referee did not notice this, and O' Hara became the OAOAST X-Division Champion that night at Anglepalooza. Now, OAOAST officials have reviewed the tape of this match, and it has been decided that since Reject had his foot on the bottom rope at the time of the pinfall...then the pinfall DOES NOT count, and therefore, Jamie O' Hara is NOT the OAOAST X-Division Champion! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" WATTS HOWEVER, Reject is ALSO not the X-Division Champion. Instead, the OAOAST Board Of Directors have decided to declare the title VACANT. And starting tonight right here on HeldDOWN~!, there is going to be...a 16-man tournament for the vacant One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Championship. The 16 men have already been chosen, and earlier today, the brackets were set up randomly. The tournament will take place over the next two months, with the finals to be held at AngleMania VI on April 1st. Good luck to all 16 men in the tournament, and may the best man win. The first First Round Match In The Tournament For The Vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship starts...now! We immediately head into the arena as Tom Sawyer hits, and the crowd boos as Felix Strutter comes to the ring. COLE Good evening, everyone, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman with you once again for another edition of HeldDOWN! We're coming off one of the biggest and most shocking pay-per-views in OAOAST history this past Sunday. One of the big stories to come out of that event was what you just heard from Bill Watts. The X-Division title is now vacated and tonight begins a 16-man tournament to crown a new champion. As you see, Felix Strutter is in the ring for the opening first-round match! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is a first-round match in the X-division tournament, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...from Thunder Bay, Ontario, weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRR!!!!! COLE Felix Strutter, coming off a tremendous performance in the Lethal Rumble match, has his work cut out for him in the first round! Quiet by Smashing Pumpkins hits and Dan Black makes his way down the aisle, getting a nice pop. BUFFER His opponent, hailing from London, England, weighing in at 243 pounds..."THE ICE HEART" DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK!!!!! Black slides in and poses on the buckles, then jumps down and the bell rings. *DING DING DING* Black and Strutter circle the ring, then tie up. Both men jockey, then Strutter executes an armdrag! Strutter acts proud of himself, as the crowd boos, and Black looks up at him, before getting up and circling the ring again. COACH Great armdrag by Strutter! They tie up again, and this time it's Black who executes the armdrag! COLE But the Ice Heart responds with one of his own! The crowd cheers, as Strutter slowly gets to his feet, and they tie up again. Strutter executes a drop toehold, then goes behind and grabs Black in a rear waistlock. COLE Felix Strutter so quick! Strutter rides him around for a bit, but Black is able to get to his feet. Black walks around, then charges the ropes and ducks down, causing Strutter to fly through the ropes to the floor! COLE But a nice escape by Dan Black! Strutter gets up and looks at Black, then slaps his hands on the apron before sliding in. He walks up and shoves Black, who responds with a slap across the face! COLE Oh my, what a slap! Strutter holds his face, with an angry look. COACH Felix ain't gonna go for that very long. Black offers a test of strength, and Strutter briefly thinks it over, then slowly moves in. He reaches on hand up and locks it, then slowly reaches the other up. He locks it, then they slowly bring the hands down to chest level. Strutter kicks the right hand of Black, then wrings his arm. Black rolls on the mat, then handsprings up, and wrings the arm of Strutter! COLE Back and forth so far, the action very quick in this one! Black wrings the arm again, then delivers right hands to it. Strutter delivers overhand chops to the chest, and tries to escape, but Black takes him down to the mat. He bars it, but Strutter gets to his feet. He backs Black into the ropes, and whips him across. Black ducks a clothesline, and delivers a flying forearm! COLE Nice forearm by Black, and the first pin attempt of the match... 1... 2... Kickout! Black backs into the ropes, and attempts a flying bodypress, but the momentum carries both men over and to the floor! COACH Whoa! COLE And both men go crashing to the floor! I couldn't tell who got the worst of it! COACH Well, it looked like Strutter fell back into the guardrail, but he's getting back first! Black climbs onto the apron, and Strutter grabs him and sets up a suplex. He lifts him over the ropes, but Black slides behind the back. Strutter quickly switches, and delivers a TIGER SUPLEX~! Black rolls backwards onto his stomach. COLE WOW, Dan Black folded up like an accordion on that one! Strutter slowly gets to his feet and begins to stomp away at Black, then picks him up and whips him hard into a corner. Black staggers out, and Strutter delivers a foot to the gut, and delivers a DDT~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter picks up Black and backs him into a corner, and lays in kicks. Black drops to his knees, and Strutter slaps him around a bit. COLE Oh, come on! COACH Hey, he's just having a little fun with him! Strutter backs into the ropes, and delivers a swinging neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter sets up a suplex, but Black reverses to a small package! COLE Small package by Black! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE So close! Strutter quickly stomps away, then delivers a Northern Lights suplex! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! COLE But Dan Black still with a lot of fight left! COACH Well, they don't call him the Ice Heart for nothing! Strutter picks Black up, and whips him into the ropes. He drops down, then Black ducks a clothesline, then both men clothesline each other! COACH Oh! COLE And a double clothesline! The referee begins his count... ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!! SIX!!! SEVEN!!! EIGHT!!! Black sits up, and begins to stand, as Strutter drags himself to his feet. Black measures Strutter, and goes for a SUPERKICK~!...but Strutter ducks, and floors Black with a HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK~! Strutter then goes to the top rope... COACH And Strutter going to the top here! Strutter leaps off with a SWANTON BOMB~!, but Black rolls out of the way! COLE And nobody home! The crowd cheers as Black gets to his feet, and catches Strutter with a savate kick, followed by a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Black follows up with an EXPLODER SUPLEX~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Black picks up Strutter and backs him into a corner, delivering European uppercuts, then bringing him out of the corner with a BULLDOG~!!! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COACH But how about Felix Strutter? Black complains to the referee briefly, then grabs Strutter and attempts an Irish whip. Strutter reverses, then drops down...and Black hops over, right into the referee, who was in the way! COLE And the referee takes a collision! He's out of it! Black bends down to check on him, and takes a LOW BLOW from Strutter, followed by the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 COACH He got him! This one's in the bag! COLE But there's no referee! Strutter counts a fall himself, then gets up and pats the referee on the back, before going over to untie the turnbuckle pad! COLE And now Strutter resorting to desperate tactics! Strutter removes the buckle, then picks up Black and tries to ram him into the buckle! However, Black blocks by putting his hand on the top rope, and Strutter does the same as Black tries to force his head down! COLE And both men trying to send the other's head in! As the referee comes to, Strutter delivers a shot to the gut of Black, then drags him out to mid-ring. He sets up for the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 once again, but this time, Black slips out, trips up Strutter, and slingshots him INTO THE EXPOSED BUCKLE! COACH Oh no! COLE And Felix tastes the steel! As Strutter staggers out, Black trips him up, and hooks him in the HEART OF ICE~!!!!!11111 COLE And Black with the Heart of Ice! Strutter struggles for a few seconds, but eventually has to tap out! The crowd goes wild! COLE He got him! *DING DING DING* COLE Dan Black advances in the tournament! BUFFER The winner of the match..."THE ICE HEART" DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK!!!!! The referee gets to his feet, and raises the hand of Black, who snatches it away and walks back down the aisle, his hands in the air. COLE So Dan Black will advance to the second round of the tournament, and will meet the winner of the match later tonight, as Tha Puerto Rican takes on the Japanese star, Kenji Kawada! Backstage we go, where we stop, nobody knows! Wait, Patty knows. And Patty says we stop near the arena loading dock, one of the most remote locations you can possibly stumble upon. And who else should be there but the woman who despises interacting with her fellow wrestlers, Krista Isadora Duncan, downing a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Wearing off white capri pants, and a light plaid shirt intricately decorated by rose embroidery, Krista looks to finally have a found a moment's peace from the zaniness of the oaoast. But as usual her tranquility is shattered by one of the OAOAST's many wacky characters. This time it's Melody Nerdly, in jeans and a white Wayne Gretzky Edmonton Oilers hockey jersey, who disrupts poor Krista. MELODY NERDLY Yo, yo, yo, Krissy D! Can I ask you a ques.... KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN (putting her hand up to silence Mel) Wait, before you proceed any further, I need to ask you a terribly important question. One that will determine if you can talk to me, or if the Halifax police department will find your charred remains in a nearby ditch. Would you, in your estimation, say that I'm so fly that ballas in the next room'll nut? MELODY I would say that I probably understood,oh, about maybe ten percent of whatever it is you just said. KRISTA Very good, you're allowed to talk to me. So what's new, pussycat? MELODY Well, Jade told me you were the chick with the master plan, and that anytime I need advice your the cold hearted ice queen to come and see. Well, advice chick, I have arrived to humbly sip from your overflowing fountain of time tested knowledge and experience. KRISTA Okay, right now you're in love, but that'll last for about a year, eighteen months tops. Then the startling realization that you've given the best years of your womanhood to a guy with a nice car, a big bank account, a thinning hairline, a small penis and no braincells, will begin to set in. So my advice is to join some clubs, take up golf or tennis, work with a few charities, and when the time in the bedroom comes, lie still, fake it, throw in a few “Oh, baby! Oh, baby! You're the best I've ever had, and I haven't had many, but if I had had many, which I certainly have not, you, dear sir, you most assuredly would be top of the pops! No friggin quesiton about it, my good man!” and pray for the sweet embrace of death to claim what's left of your once youthful, innocent, spirit. And when you come to your senses come and see me, and I can introduce you to a beautiful Russian tennis coach named Anya. She's got a gorgeous beach house in Malibu, and a yacht in Sausalito. And, if nothing else, she'll get you a killer backhand. I'm talking Steffi Graf killer. You like tennis, right? It's sort of our unofficial sport. MELODY I love tennis. Not to play, or to watch, or to even talk about really, I just love the fact that it's there. So yeah, thanks for the advice. Think ya help me out with something else? KRISTA Why not? I do everything else around here, such as balance people's checkbooks, do their hair and makeup, refinance their mortgage, adjust their auto insurance, and bribe the cops to spend the rest of the evening at Dunkin Donuts when Synth Esizer throws a hooker off a hotel balcony, so surely I can instruct you on how to tell Zack Malibu you're carrying his bastard love child. Hey, wait, before we go on, how are your brothers doing? MELODY Brothers? What brothers? KRISTA Melvin and Marvin. MELODY Who gives a crap? They suck! Let's talk about the one Nerdly who doesn't suck, i.e. let's talk about me. See, I got this problem where the company's paying me a truck load of cash, but I don't ever actually do any real work! Know where I'm coming from here? KRISTA Uh-huh, let me see if I can wrap my brain around your obviously horrible and life threatening quandary. Shouldn't take long, it is the same brain that earned me two masters degrees from Standford, and would've made me valedictorian in high school if wasn't for that slut Emily Goldwyn hooking up with the chemistry teacher. But some cut car breaks and a fatal trip down the rain slicked roads of Dead Man's curve sure fixed the both of them. Yes it did, my pretties, yes it did. MELODY KRISTA Did I say that out loud? How silly of me to make you an accessory to an unsolved murder. My apologies. So, you're getting paid money to do absolutely nothing. And you've somehow determined that is a problem needing to be corrected? Am I in some kind of bizzaro world where up is down, right is left, and Beyonce is actually considered a talented singer/actress? Because if it is, then pass me a bullet and let me end the misery right here and now. A gun isn't really necessary, I can just kind of mash the bullet into my head real hard over and over again, that should do the trick. MELODY No, look, the problem is that the dudes who run this joint are gonna find out that I'm just a tall, blond, waste of money, and then I'm done for! Fired! Out the door! Pink slipped! Given the boot! KRISTA I don't know about that. I too am a tall, blond, waste of money, and I'm still here. Miserable, emotionally bankrupt, and on the verge of suicide, but still here none the less. MELODY I'm doomed, Krista! No more fuel efficient South Korean economy sized automobile, no more one room apartment with a rent so high it could pay to feed an entire African country, no more subscription to Architecture Digest, and no more self assembled Swedish furniture! I'll have go to back to living with my parents and the rest of my geek family in Edmonton! You don't know what it's like, being forced to attend these stupid Star Trek Conventions in every little hick town in Western Canada! I don't know if it's the combination of the spiked Klingon Ale, or the fact they're out of their moms basement for the first time in six months, but these Trekkie dorks get a little touchey feeley. You have to help me, Krista! I don't want to spend the rest of my days washing the skidmarked underwear of a morbidly obese husband who makes me talk dirty to him in Vulcan. I don't even know Vulcan, I only know Romulan! KRISTA Calm down, sweetie, Auntie Krista's gonna make all your problems go POOF gone. Did you know in addition to being a former Miss California, a Miss Teen California, a best selling author, an owner of two Master Degrees, and the future owner of a PHD, the founder of a worldwide fitness kingdom, and the president of my daughter's school's PTA, I'm also something of a psychic, I got a little ESP. MELODY Yeah, so do I. Around the Horn is my favorite. I don't normally say this about older men, but that Woody Paige looks damn good for his age. Damn good! Sorry, bad jokes. Please continue. Krista sighs, then continues her version of the psychic friends network. KRISTA Oh my god, I'm getting a vision right now! How incredibly convenient! It is of you, approaching a tag team, a tag team with a combined IQ of bottle, so stupid that when they added their IQ's together they got a random nonsensical word and not an actual numerical value. And you are telling these lunkheads, these mouth breathing circus monkeys, that you are the greatest, most revered wrestling manager in the history of professional grappling, and you will take them straight to the top out of the kindness of your caring heart and for a forty percent cut of their salary, marketing, endorsements, merchandising and various other ancillary rights. MELODY So, rather then educate the ignorant, and empower them with the knowledge they need to make the world better for themselves and their children, you want me to exploit their ignorance, plunge them into the depths of denigration, squash what little hope they have for a better and more productive life, and make gobs of money off their continued suffering at the same time? KRISTA Yeah, pretty much. MELODY I love it, I love it, I love it. KRISTA And remember if at first you don't succeed.... MELODY Take a chainsaw to their stomachs and harvest their organs for fun and profit! KRISTA Um, I was going to say loosen up those shirt buttons and let your magnificent mammaries fly as free as Alix's dad the day he escaped from San Quentin state prison. But if you do decide to go with your plan B, I personally wouldn't mind having Flex's Phillip's spleen as a nouveau chic coffee table center piece. Hey, seeing that I just helped you, maybe you could do me a favor. My speaker for a banquet at the Getty Center to raise awareness about the endangered Asian Elephant just backed out, and I was wondering if you knew anyone who might be interested in speaking? MELODY Speaking? I don't know anyone who'd be interested in listening! KRISTA While Melody leaves Krista to drown her sorrows in the bottle, we go somewhere else. I don't know where, but it ain't here. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 COLE Welcome back to the show. As we saw last week on HeldDOWN~!, Sly Sommers forfeited the HI-GATE Brave Cup Championship belt, forgoing a title defense in order to come see the Bruce Blank vs Zack Malibu Survive or Surrender Career vs Career match, hoping that his former trainer Malibu would be put down for his final loss. COACH As we all know well by now, that didn't happen. But, Sly's still without a belt, and as of Tuesday morning, he was without HI-GATE in general, as they cancelled all of his future tours due to being absentee for too many bouts. Ironically enough, Sly's younger brother Johnny's in-ring training concluding coincided with this, and OAOAST officials jumped on the opportunity to put Johnny in there with the more experienced member of the family, also the guy who trained him. COLE So tonight, right now, we're scheduled to see the debut of the Sommers Brothers as a tag team! The only thing we've really heard about Johnny through scouting reports is that he's undersized, but has no clue that he is. Quite the scrapper, reportedly... (Cut to wide shot of the ring) BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first in the ring, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, at a combined weight of 460 pounds...the team of Drew Englund and Lee Warshaw! (Both men very ugly, with goatees, mullets, and black singlets) ("The Clap" by The Unicorns starts up, and out comes Johnny Sommers...alone?!?) BUFFER Their opponents...from Peoria, Illinois...combined weight of 370 pounds...Sly and Johnny SOOOOOMMERS! COLE Well, he got half of it right... Johnny keeps looking to the back, trying to wave Sly out. Finally, Sly comes out...wearing an ugly brown suit?!? COACH What's this? Sly and Johnny start arguing, but it's inaudible on camera. Terry Taylor jogs out with a microphone. TERRY TAYLOR GUYS! GUYS! What's going on? SLY Well, I thought I told the OAOAST, and I thought I told my younger brother Johnny...I'm not wrestling tonight! TERRY What? WHY? SLY Sunday night, I came back to this country and ditched one of the most prestigious belts in the world to see the man I hate possibly more than ANYBODY in wrestling have his dream crushed! His dream ended! I came to watch Bruce Blank end Zack Malibu's career, and he failed. I'm not going to bury him...it was a hell of a fight. But, Bruce didn't finish the job like he should have. I've thought long and hard about this ever since the end of Sunday night. I reluctantly verbally accepted this booking tonight, but when I got here today, I just couldn't throw my heart into preparing, into getting ready...Johnny, I'm not about to screw you over by going into this thing half-assed. Therefore, I'm pulling myself from the ring indefinately. This will ONLY end the day that OAOAST officials sign a match between myself and Zack Malibu so that I can finish the job that Bruce Blank started! Zack...if the suits in the back let go of you long enough to pull the protection blanket away, I guarentee you not only will you not make it to Anglemania to fight Drek Stone...you might not make it out of that building! I'm sorry Johnny...but I can't do this to you... JOHNNY WHAT? What are you talking about? We trained and trained and trained...you put me through every sort of hell possible, and for what? So you can walk out here in a crap-brown suit and whine about some match on Sunday that has nothing to do with US, and crush my dream?!?! SLY I'm sure that we can get something set up for next week...a singles match, man. JOHNNY Next week? NEXT WEEK?!?! What the HELL?! For TEN MONTHS, I let you beat the living crap out of me every day for this moment right now, and you try and take it away from me at this point...I can't believe you. I just can't! I'll tell you what...you may not have the balls to go into that ring and wrestle, but I sure do! Johnny runs down the aisle and slides into the ring! He makes no bones about it: he runs up and blatantly kicks Drew Englund right between the legs! He then rakes Lee Warshaw's eyes! The bell RINGS? *DING DING* Englund rolls to the apron, holding his groin, as Johnny sends Lee Warshaw off to the ropes with an Irish whip! Sly looks on from the aisle, befuddled, before walking off. Lee comes off of the ropes and runs with into a headbutt to the stomach from Johnny Sommers! COLE This kid's got more guts than brains for sure...he's only 5'6, about 175 pounds soaking wet, and outsized by both of these guys individually! Sommers pulls Warshaw up and sends him into a corner with an Irish whip. Johnny charges at him and connects with a shoulder to the stomach. Johnny snapmares Lee Warshaw out of the corner, then goes to the second rope and drops a big back senton! Johnny comes to his feet to scattered boos, then turns around and sees Warshaw trying to get up...so he kicks the man in the face! Johnny stands on Warshaw's throat, choking him with his boot! The referee counts him down... ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Johnny steps off. Sommers pulls Warshaw up by the hair and gets him up with a vertical suplex. Johnny gets up and kicks Warshaw in the back of the head, then pulls Warshaw up and whips him off to the ropes. Johnny then springboards off of the second rope on the catty-corner side, and connects with a cross-direction springboard back elbow in mid-ring! Sommers then connects with a forearm to the side of Drew Englund's head in the corner! Englund tries to come in, distracting the referee! This gives Johnny the opportunity to grab the legs of Lee Warshaw and connect with a spinning headbutt to the groin! The crowd boos, as Johnny pulls Warshaw up with a headlock to avoid the ref noticing the groin pain. As the referee turns around, Johnny connects with a thumb to the throat! He swears it's an open palm to the face, as Warshaw rolls around on the ground, holding his throat, as a chorus of boos fill the building. Johnny runs, bounces off of the ropes, and hits a running back senton! COVER! ONE! TWO! ...ENGLUND BREAKS IT UP! As Drew Englund tries to leave the ring, Jimmy Sommers gets up and blasts him in the face with a forearm! That sends him leaning on the ropes, and a kick to the stomach sends him falling to the floor! Jimmy signals that it's the finish, as he pulls Lee Warshaw up, then hooks Warshaw's arms behind his back, tucks the head underneath his rear, and drops him with the Pyrite Pyramid (reverse Pedigree)! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING* BUFFER YOUR WINNER...JOOOOOHNNNNY SOOOOOOOOMMERS! Sommers then pulls a black rose out of his boot. He shows it off to the crowd, then places it on the unconcious Lee Warshaw's chest! COLE WOW...Johnny Sommers, who to be honest, is a diminutative man size-wise, just beat two men at once, both who were bigger! COACH And this was his PRO DEBUT! Imagine how good he'll be if THIS is the rough base of his skill! Sommers squirms out of the ring, then yells right into the camera... JOHNNY Get your head out of your rear, SLY! You don't need that crap...just come and team with me next week, and we can have fun like that together! COLE You heard the man...it seems as if there's a bit of dissention in the Sommers family...but nonetheless, Sly has vowed he will not lace the boots up again until he gets Zack Malibu one-on-one in an OAOAST ring, and his brother isn't happy about it! More HeldDOWN~! coming up! FADE Fade in on a black and white screen. The sound of a heart beating is heard. A cheering crowd is also heard. A silhouette of somebody is shown. VOICEOVER He is a gifted athlete. Another silhouette is shown. VOICEOVER He is adored all over the world. Another silhouette is shown. The heart beating gets faster. The crowd cheering gets louder. VOICEOVER He is an icon in professional wrestling. One more silhouette is shown. The heart beating is the fastest it's been. The crowd gets even louder. VOICEOVER He is known by many names, but you can call him... "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" The silhouette fades away, replaced with a close-up of Zack Malibu's face. Zack looks PISSED~! The heart has stopped beating, but the crowd is now chanting, "MALIBU!" CUE GENERIC ROCK MUSIC~! A montage of Zack Malibu clips plays, spanning his entire career. V.O. And now, OAOAST Home Entertainment presents...ZACK MALIBU: THE FRANCHISE. A 3-disc DVD set chronicaling the career of the greatest OAOAST superstar, past, present or future! Featuring exclusive interviews with Zack and his greatest allies and enemies! ZACK MALIBU: THE FRANCHISE, available now at stores everywhere (well....except Borders, cuz they aren't cool). FADE COLE Plenty of AnglePalooza fallout still to be dealt with tonight and with that in mind, let's send it over to Tony Schiavone, who's standing by with The Enterprise! It's Tony Schiavone! It's that desk from the old school NWA, in-house television years! Yes folks, it's the return OAOAST's Update Center! Schiavone opens his mouth to greet us with an opening speil, but finds his thunder stolen by the sound of UPROARIOUS laughter. Coming in from left of screen, the fiv... no, make that six members of The Enterprise. Theodore Moneymaker leads the way, leaning across the desk and catching his breath mid-laugh as Mackenzie DeCenzo and The Beverly Hills Blonds follow, in their ring gear. The laughter doesn't extend to Christian Wright, smirking but far too conserved and serious to join in with the jubilation. And last but not least, the mysterious man who you may remember from AnglePalooza, a large black gentleman who stands at the back of the group, eyes piercing down the camera lens. MONEYMAKER Schiavone, don't you even start tonight! I'm in a great mood, my Enterprise is in a great mood and I will not have you spoiling it and bringing us down like you usually do. It's not possible. Life is too good right now. SCHIAVONE Well, there are a number of questio... MONEYMAKER Nevermind the questions, little man. We haven't got time for smalltalk tonight. As you're probably going to neglect to mention, in favour of some sort of crackpot conspiracist theory at the expense of yours truly, tonight The Enterprise finds itself on the verge of Anderson Cup dominance. Myself and Christian Wright, plus of course The Beverly Hills Blonds, step into seperate Conference Semi Finals at the top of our respective games. We step into this matches with momentum on our sides. With life at it's kindest. Don't get me wrong, Schiavone. Life is always great when you're rich. But life has been even greater than usual recently. BLANCHARD Which might have something to do with us being richer than usual. MONEYMAKER Christian? Opening up his briefcase, keeping the lid in a position that obscures the contents from the camera and Schiavone of course, CW produces some papers and shuffles them. WRIGHT That, I can indeed confirm. MONEYMAKER MUWAHAHAHAHAHA... SCHIAVONE That's great, but if we could get to... MONEYMAKER Don't ever interrupt me like that again, little man. *shakes head* As I was saying, The Enterprise are on the up. Tonight, Christian and myself take on 'America's Team' in our Anderson Cup Conference Semi Final bout. Not that it matters anymore, but gentlemen, tonight you're going to realise you should have taken advantage of our generous offer to acquire your seeding while you had the chance. Either way, you were going to end up nothing but a couple of apple pie eating losers. Only difference is, your way, you're going to stay poor, apple pie eating loser to boot! At least if you'd taken my offer, by tommorrow night, you would have had that money to console you while you're nursing your defeat. But hey, don't feel too down guys. The Enterprise profit margin is so far through the roof, you might end up stumbling upon a couple of stray bucks fluttering from the sky. If you're lucky! The Enterprise share another big group laugh. Except the mystery man, who remains completely serious in the background. SCHIAVONE Now, can we talk about this man behind u... MONEYMAKER Do I look done yet? Because I'm not. Now, onto my Beverly Hills Blonds! So egotistical, The Blonds perk up at the mere sound of their names, pointing their thumbs at their chests. SINGLETON Well thank you Teddy. You know, I agree with everything this man right here just said Tony. The Enterprise has never been a stronger investment after our victory on Sunday night. Finally, after months of torment, we dealt with those fruity Mexican freaks, Los Diablos and scored a decisive victory to prove once and for all what a waste of time and resources they have caused this conglomerate recently. And with that dry-humping monkey off our backs for good, we can concentrate on greater matters. Like The Anderson Cup and the World Tag Team Titles. And lo and behold, who should our new found concentration fall upon than our old friends, D*LUX. BLANCHARD Not forgetting, of course, little miss sunshine herself, Jade Rodez. You know, toots, we watched your match during our lavish celebrations and I have to say, I was impressed. You've got potential. Unlike those effeminate 'boys' your associate yourself with. Apparantly, they won back their HI-YAH Tag Titles on Sunday. Well if I were you, I'd go home tonight, still reeling from your team's elimination, and take a real long, nice hot bath, eyes closed and fantasizing about what a night with yours truly would be like, then thank your lucky stars the hottest tag team in professional wrestling have their sights set on bigger and better things, otherwise we might very well have decided to take those HI-YAH tag belts from you... MACKENZIE (leans in) Again. SINGLETON SCHIAVONE Theodore, maybe now we could get to the topic on everyone's mind. Who is that monster of a man that debuted Sunday night at Anglepalooza? MONEYMAKER Maybe you've seen this man before. Every underaged punk who dared tried to enter the hottest nightclub in the land with a fake ID know just who he is. This right here, little man, is Christopher Patrick Allen, The Enterprise's new debt collector. SCHIAVONE Debt collector? Is that a fancy term for 'hired muscle'? MONEYMAKER (stern) You heard me the first time. The Enterprise's debt collector. Los Diablos had a debt to society for their antics and sooner or later, that debt needed to be collected! So I called on CPA to collect and he dulely obliged! CPA Be afraid of the big black man. Be very afraid. MONEYMAKER SCHIAVONE That does it from here. Back to you at Sofa Central. (BAC TO SC) MICHAEL COLE Thank you Tony. We're ready for another HeldDOWN debut in our next match. These guys have had the most rotten luck Coach, they’ve been slated to debut over and over but they’ve never made it to the ring yet COACH That’s how it is in the OAOAST, you snooze, you lose – that goes for any of these Tigers too. ”It's the eye of the tiger its the cream of the fight” Space Tigre looks a bit cautious as he walks down the aisle, only slapping a few hands like he’s afraid that someone will come out of the crowd and attack him. ”Risin’ up to the challenge of our rivals and the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night and he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger” COACH You know he doesn’t exactly have the “Eye of the tiger” does he? More like the belly of yellow. MICHAEL BUFFER Introducing first from Monterey, Mexico – weighing in at 200 pounds, heart of a tiger, leaping ability of a… Tiger, this is the SPACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TIGER!! Space Tiger gets a smattering of applause as he slides under the ropes and then nervously awaits his opponent. COACH He’s more skittish than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs MICHAEL BUFFER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND his opponent… The classic opening to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Freebird starts up as Michael Buffer reads the introductions to the latest OAOAST newcomer. ”If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me?” MICHAEL BUFFER Making his OAOAST debut here tonight, standing at 6 foot, 8 inches and weighing in at 300 pounds even – From BADSTREET!! Atlanta, GA! This is the FREEEEEEEEEEEEBIRD!! ”For I must be traveling on, now, cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see.” COACH Who the hell is this guy? MICHAEL COLE The Freebird Coach, didn’t you hear the introduction? COACH Wiseass! Out walks a man who’s, well for lack of a better term is built like a brick shithouse – think Scott Norton, think the Warlord and you get the idea of just the massiveness of this masked guy. ”But, if I stayed here with you, girl, Things just couldn’t be the same.” MICHAEL COLE Man he is *HUGE* COACH *cough*roid-head*cough* MICHAEL COLE What’s that? COACH Oh just a bad cough I developed. ”Cause I’m as free as a bird now, And this bird you can not change. Lord knows, I can’t change.” The brightly colored masked man slaps a few hands on his way to the ring although most fans seems to be a little… standoffish for some reason. The ‘bird doesn’t seem to really mind, instead he just gets up on the apron and steps over the top rope. MICHAEL COLE Is it just me… COACH Yeah probably, it’s definitely not your inflate-a-date The Freebird towers over the skittish Tiger who’s looking around just waiting for someone to jump him so that the match won’t happen. When nothing happens and the bell rings Space Tiger visibly relaxes – the match will actually happen. The ‘Bird extends his hand towards the Mexican high flier as a gesture of sportsmanship holding it there as Space Tiger decides with himself if it’s a trap or not, then slowly he raises his hand and cautiously shakes the Freebird’s hand, breathing a sigh of relief when he’s not attacked. MICHAEL COLE This is going to be quite a contrast in styles Coach. COACH How do you know? Have you seen the Freebird in action?? MICHAEL COLE Well no but COACH So how do you know he’s not got luchador moves?? MICHAEL COLE Well he’s 300 pounds COACH Man that’s so weight-ist MICHAEL COLE The Freebird goes for a good old fashioned lock up but Space Tiger knows better than to get trapped by the big man so he swiftly ducks under, runs the ropes and then comes back with a shoulder block NO MOVEMENT!! Space Tiger bounces off Freebird’s right shoulder like he ran into a wall, not one for giving up on a bad idea Space Tiger hits the ropes once more and this time tackles Freebird in the left shoulder. MICHAEL COLE He bounced off again! COACH Yeah but did you notice that it did seem to have some effect, maybe he has a bad shoulder or something. Space Tiger leaps on the attack once more, but instead of a shoulder tackle he tries some other kind of leaping luchador move but ends up caught by the big man and then immediately pressed over the Bird’s head with a gorilla press MICHAEL COLE Look at the power! COACH I’m looking Cole… MICHAEL COLE What’s the matter? COACH I dunno Cole, I can’t put my finger on it. The Freebird actually pumps his opponent a few times just to show his power, then he takes a few steps towards the ropes, almost as if he’s going to throw Space Tiger out of the ring – at the last moment he stops and instead throws Space Tiger towards the top turnbuckle. SPACE TIGER LANDS ON HIS FEET!! MICHAEL COLE Holy shit he landed on the top rope, what balance Balance… followed by a moonsault that catches the Freebird off guard. Space Tigers knees strikes the big man in the face as he’s knocked down into a perfect position for a cover ONE!! TWO!! TH-STRONG KICKOUT!! The Freebird throws Space Tigre off him with force, then turns over onto his knees clutching his face in agony. COACH That knee to the face almost knocked him out. MICHAEL COLE He’s definitely groggy Space Tiger takes advantage of the Freebird’s groggy state as he leaps over the top of the kneeling ‘bird and rolls him up into a variation on the Majistral Cradle ONE!! TWO!! TH-KICKOUT!! The Freebird kicks out once more and then quickly levels the Space Tiger with a Lariat worthy of Stan Hansen himself *POWii* MICHAEL COLE Holy Crap he send Space Tigre flying half way across the ring with that one, what impact! That’s one of the strongest lariats I’ve ever seen COACH Look at him, he’s pissed off now – not the laid back “free bird” now is he? The masked man seems to be cursing at Space Tiger as he attacks the Luchador in the corner, sending clubbing forearm after clubbing forearm down over the neck and back of the poor defenseless Space Tigre BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! After a series of forearm blows the Bird pulls Space Tiger to his feet, then whips him into the ropes only to take the smaller Mexican off his feet with a running big boot. After the size 16 to the face Space Tiger retreats backwards into the corner until he’s trapped against the bottom turnbuckle. The Freebird ignores the referee’s warning and grabs Tiger’s boots despite him holding on to the middle rope. With a mighty pull The Freebird pulls the 200 pound Space Tiger straight up in the air and manages to catch him on his right shoulder COACH NO WAY! MICHAEL COLE I think we’re about to see the Running Power Slam THE FREEBIRD SWEET HOME ALABAMA!! And with that bellow the Freebird runs forward 4 or 5 steps before driving the Space Tiger into the canvas with a running power bomb MICHAEL COLE What did he just say? COACH I believe he just said “Sweet Home Alabama” Cole… Before Coach can comment further the Freebird places both hands on Space Tiger’s chest for the cover. ONE!! TWO!!! THREE!!! When the referee goes to raise his hand the Freebird initially pulls his hand away, but then as if he realizes where he is lets the referee raise his hand in victory. MICHAEL COLE I’m getting a serious case of Déjà vu with this guy and I don’t like it. COACH I smell a rat Cole, I think someone thinks we’re too stupid to figure it out MICHAEL COLE On the other hand it could just be a coincidence, I mean I’d hate to accuse an innocent guy. COACH Hell no, go ahead – who cares if he’s really innocent, that’s what makes America great! As the commentators dance around their suspicions the Freebird exits the ring and looks around, confused over the mainly negative reaction he’s getting from the crowd and we fade to commercial. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 We’re backstage in one of the locker rooms, in the background we see GPX talking with the newly crowned (but not really) X-Division champion Jamie O’Hare while a few others get ready for their matches tonight. The mood is generally upbeat and positive with guys chatting left and right that is until… A door opens and the Freebird appears in the doorway, the moment the big masked guy shows up all the talking stops and everyone just stares at him “… What?” The Freebird asks after looking around at everyone. When there is no answer the ‘bird decides to ignore all the people staring at them and just go over to his locker to get changed. When he opens his locker it’s empty, no clothes, no nothing. “Alright who’s the wise ass?” Freebird asks as he turns around and looks at the people in the locker room. “it’s in there” Scotty Static says and points to a black trashbag by the door. At first the Freebird looks like he’s pissed off, but then his shoulders lower and he seemingly adopts a more relaxed attitude “Alright I get it, I’m the new guy – it’s natural with some sort of hazing. I’ve been around long enough to know how this works. Very funny guys, now let’s just get changed alright?” Johnny Jax stands up, picks up the bag of clothes and then tosses it into the hallway. “You can change out there if you want, or in a broom closet… we don’t care, but we don’t want you in here, hell we’d rather not have you in the OAOAST at all!” Johnny says with a sharpness in his voice that reveals that he’s far from joking. “In the hallway? Come on guy, joke’s over alright?” The bird says trying to defuse the tense situation. There are no more answers just harsh stares and clenched fists. After assessing the situation once more the Freebird just throws his hands up in the air in resignation and leaves the locker room. *BOOM* The door is slammed the second he’s through it. “Man, tough crowd” the ‘bird says as he picks up the trashbag full of clothes and looks into it. “Cut to shreds huh? So that’s their thing? … well it could be worse, at least no one crapped in my gymbag” the Bird says. Then he pauses before rummaging through the bag looking for something, when he finds it “Uncrapped” he breathes a sigh of relief and then slings the trashbag over his shoulder. “I wonder if it was something I said” COACH Re-- COLE (interrupting) mind me of high school? Yeah, har har, funny joke. You are so predictable sometimes, Coach. COACH COLE Anyway, this pa.... *STATIC (AND WE DON'T MEAN SCOTTY)* COME HERE GIRL GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA COME TO THE BACK GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA V I P GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA DRINKS ON ME GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA GET YOUR SEXY ON GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA GET YOUR SEXY ON GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA GET YOUR SEXY OOOOON GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA GET YOUR SEXY ON GO 'HEAD, BE GONE WIT' YA THE OAOAST BRINGS SEXYBACK FEBRUARY 24TH, 2007 ..... YOU READY?? COLE What the hell was that about? COACH I dont know but I likes the sounds of it. The OAOAST could do with some 'Sexy'. The Coach could do with some come to think of it. Roll on February 24th! COLE As I was saying: This past Sunday night, we witnessed one of the most miraculous feats in this industry. Going into Anglepalooza, everyone in the wrestling world, and even Zack Malibu himself, feared that this past Sunday night would be the last we'd see of him. COACH I know I did. COLE Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank entered the Survive Or Surrender match this night with their emotions long past the boiling point. For Blank, it would be the opportunity of a lifetime. For Malibu, it would be redemption for all the pain and suffering caused by the menacing redneck since early last year. What those men experienced this past Sunday was one of the most brutal, horrific encounters in OAOAST history, putting them on the brink of death at various points. It appeared to be all over when Blank was aided by Landon Maddix in hanging Zack Malibu, but it was the shocking return of Caboose, put on the shelf by the Wildcards last summer, that prevented that disgusting act from taking place, and helped lead Malibu on the path to victory over his most hated rival, Bruce Blank. COACH We ain't gotta see that man no more! COLE Then, to the shock of everyone in the arena Sunday night, Zack Malibu, bruised and bloodied still, entered the Lethal Rumble in place of his friend Jamie O'Hara, who was attacked by Drek Stone earlier in the night. Showing incredible courage by putting his already beaten body on the line against the company's best, Malibu entered the ring and eliminated Landon Maddix, the same man who tried to help take him out earlier in the night, and now Zack Malibu is once again heading to Anglemania to take on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH You know what that means, Mikey Cole. DREAM MATCH~!, baby! COLE It might be a dream match to us and the fans, but I know it's going to be a nightmare for Drek Stone if he's still got that belt around his waist come Anglemania. There's no esaping the wrath of Malibu now, and... (The opening bass line of "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the fans leap to their feet in response!) COLE ...I may have gone off on a tangent there, but I'll stop, because HERE COMES ZACK MALIBU~! Greeted by the warm welcome of his fans, Malibu appears at the top of the ramp. With his head bandaged from the beating he took at the hands of Bruce Blank, Malibu is reminded of how fortunate he is to be walking down the aisle tonight, as the fans welcome him with a loud chant of his name. ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! Zack enters the ring, and grabs the mic, pausing for a moment as his music dies down, and the chant becomes louder than ever. ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! MALIBU You know, it's good to be standing here in front of you people once again, because before this past Sunday, I honestly didn't know if it was going to happen again...but as you can see, I'M here, and Bruce Blank is now a distant memory! The crowd roars, easily pleased by the fact that Zack Malibu has driven Bruce Blank out of the OAOAST. MALIBU As one door closes, another one opens though, and I think you know after the way Anglepalooza ended what I'm talking about. For nearly a year, I was driven to the point of exhaustion and insanity by Blank and The Wildcards. I was distracted from my family responsibilites, from my responsibilities to this company, and from once again becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. In the meantime, that title has been claimed by a man...scratch that...the title has been claimed by Drek Stone. Now my feelings on the man are obvious, and as champion, those feelings have only increased, because to me, Drek Stone, you are NOT a World Champion! COLE Malibu is wasting no time in showing where his focus lies tonight! MALIBU Drek, you might have a belt around your waist, and you might get the main event matches...WHEN you decide to show for them...but you are NOT a champion. A champion, a true champion, puts his heart and soul, his very being, into being the very best. You claim to be the best, you state that you are the best, but you are NOT deserving of the belt that you carry around! You don't have your heart in it...you haven't had your heart in this company, into your being here, in a very long time. Two years, as a matter of fact. Two years ago, you tried to make the play, you tried to push me out. You had people in this company drinking your Kool-Aid, and you kicked off a war that you couldn't even finish. You got a win off of me, and you RAN. You left what you started to be finished by more people who got suckered into it, and it nearly tore this company, BOTH SIDES OF IT, APART! Fast forward to last year, and when I won Two For The Money. I never got around to using my title shot because of what Bruce Blank did to me, and don't think I forgot about it. Then, at November Reign, it was set to happen, and then what? You PUNKED OUT AGAIN, while I fought for my life against Todd Cortez, the man who broke my best friend's neck, and earned the right to call myself the number one contender! That's TWO strikes against you, my friend. Now this past Sunday, you were so confident. You, and Sly Sommers, and Peter Knight...I have to admit, even I didn't know if I could pull it off, but you and those other names I mentioned...you went to Providence with the intent of watching me suffer, and watching my career, and maybe my life END! He came close...I give Bruce Blank credit, believe it or not, for being the most brutal son of a bitch I ever watched, but do you know what's scary, Drek? In a way, I RESPECT Bruce Blank more than you! Because Bruce Blank came RIGHT AT ME, and never ran! Bruce Blank never dodged me, most of the time HE made the first move. Bruce Blank TOOK ME TO THE LIMIT, while you sat on the sidelines and waited for other people to do your dirty work. The ironic thing about it is the people that you poisoned, that you tried to get to follow your lead, like Scotty, Johnny and Jamie...they respect me, and I respect them. We forged a bond built on respect because we give ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF OURSELVES, while you skate by on a reputation you earned four years ago. So Drek, now that my schedule is clear, now that the date is set, what are you going to do? What are you going to do between now and Anglemania, Drek? What are you going to do when you can't duck me anymore? What are you going to do when you have to put that title on the line, the only thing you have left, against the man who fought for it so hard and made it what it is? What are you going to do, Drek? What are you going to do? Smirking, Malibu drops the mic and heads off, as "Getting Away With Murder" plays again for him during his journey back up the aisleway. COACH He ain't messin' around anymore, Cole. That's a man on a mission! COLE Zack Malibu hasn't recovered from Anglepalooza yet, but those words have no doubt pierced the heart of Drek Stone, who has been called out on the carpet by the number one contender! Zack Malibu is going to Anglemania to challenge for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, and there is nothing Drek Stone can do about it! We cut to what looks like a makeshift interview studio where the always overhyped Tony Schiavone is stitting by with the more sedate and more “intense” Faqu. TONY SCHIAVONE Fans Tony Schiavone here with the HI-YAH Champion Faqu for a little update on the H1 Grand Prix tournament that was announced during AnglePalooza FAQU … TONY SCHIAVONE You’re totally right, no screwing around here, let’s get right to business. In fact let’s stop beating about the bush and just get on with this shall we? I mean I see no reason why we should stall any more and just g… Faqu gives Tony what can only be described as “the stink-eye” making the commentator get to the point. TONY SCHIAVONE Right. This is a 16 person tournament FAQU *Nods* TONY SCHIAVONE But it’s not your traditional elimination tournament, it’s divided into blocks of four wrestlers who then have a round robin tournament with everyone in their group FAQU *Nods* TONY SCHIAVONE With the winners of each group going to the traditional semi-finals and finals. And the finals will be at? FAQU AngleMania TONY SCHIAVONE Wow that’s a big match booked already – take THAT WWE!!... FAQU *Another Stink-eye* TONY SCHIAVONE Right, right back to the H1 Grand Prix. This tournament has been held in HI-YAH for going on 10 years now, but for the first time its been opened up to non-HI-YAH workers, presumably because you as a non-HI-YAH worker holds the title. FAQU *Nods* TONY SCHIAVONE So it’s 16 guys, from 15 different federations – since you’re in it and HI-YAH also has another representative in it. FAQU *Nods* Then he reluctantly adds FAQU The HI-YAH committee has decided that Kenji Kawada should represent HI-YAH in the tournament. The fact that HI-YAH picked Kawada doesn’t seem to sit well with Faqu, or maybe he just had a bad burrito, it’s hard to tell with the HI-YAH champion TONY SCHIAVONE So we already have TWO competitors announced, excellent and the OAOAST representative will be found in the following weeks as well. Faqu if you can, please tell us what federations are in and how the groups are divided. FAQU The block are divided in 2 groups that have matches right here in the OAOAST and two groups that’ll wrestle in Japan. TONY SCHIAVONE Which group are you in? FAQU I’ll be in Block A that competes here TONY SCHIAVONE And … excuse me for being nosy, but the OAOAST representative? FAQU I believe he’s in Bock B, Block B along with Block C where Kawada is compete in Japan. Schiavone is about to ask Faqu another question but before he can get a word in James Blonde walks into the shot, instantly causing Faqu to get to his feet and strike a mean posture. JAMES BLONDE You mean to tell me that I’ll have to compete in Japan while you stay here? TONY SCHIAVONE That’s *IF* you qualify JAMES BLONDE No one asked you for a quote doughboy, just shut up. Blonde looks a bit agitated at the news JAMES BLONDE So the first chance I’d have of facing you would be in the Semi-Finals? FAQU Finals, one Semi final for the US group and one for the Japanese group. JAMES BLONDE You figured that out nicely didn’t you? Avoiding me until the last possible moment? FAQU I didn’t book it, take it up with the Committee TONY SCHIAVONE That’s it folks we’re outta time!! Tune in next Nitro Tony’s over the top comments surprise both Blonde and Faqu who turn and stare at him. TONY SCHIAVONE Erm… sorry force of habit, but we do need to take a commercial break. JAMES BLONDE If you really were my friend you’d get us in the same block so we can settle it like men. And with that comment Blonde walks off leaving an annoyed Faqu and an overstimulated Tony Schiavone. Before going to a commercial break the four blocks are displayed on the screen – the H1 Grand Prix blocks are as follows (already qualified entrants listed as well) Block A: US HI-YAH: Faqu © World Wrestling Alliance (WWA): TBD Australian Wrestling Federation (AWF): TBD Pro-Wrestling Danger (P-WD): TBD Block B: Japan OAOAST: TBD Catch Wrestling Federation (CWF): the Mathemaniac Pro Japan Wrestling: TBD HI-YAH: Mexico: TBD Block C: Japan Sanurai Pro (S-P): TBD HI-GATE: TBD World Wrestling Alliance: Europe (WWA:E): TBD HI-YAH: Kenji Kawada Block D: US Twisted Championship Wrestling (TCW): TBD Pan-Orental Wrestling (POW): TBD Lucha Libre Mundial (LLM): Mascara Maligna Full Action Wrestling (FAW): TBD Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 (edited) "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and "Showtime" Shayne Brave hop out onstage and strike a pose, followed by Jade Rodez who points her team to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team attraction is a semi-final bout in the 2007 Anderson Cup, scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit! Introducing first, the third ranked team in Los Infernales Conference, accompanied ringside by MS. JADE RODEZ... total combined weight 388 pounds, "TREMENDOUS" TYLER and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Hi again, everyone. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura here with more Anderson Cup action. And what a great match-up it should be, Jesse. VENTURA You got two teams who know each other real well in D*LUX and the Beverly Hills Blonds. Last year they traded HI-YAH tag title reigns. Speaking from experience, no matter how many days, weeks, months or years go by, you never forget the team who defeated you for the championship. Especially if you felt that team was beneath you. SCHIAVONE Are you speaking of D*LUX or personal experience? VENTURA Personal experience. Maybe if you weren't so busy staring at Jade Rodez you would've heard what I said. She's young enough to be your daughter for crying out loud! Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime Led by Mackenzie DeCenzo, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard scroll to the ring grinning from ear to ear. BUFFER Their opponents, now arriving at the red carpet alongside the Chief Financial Officer of the Enterprise MACKENZIE DECENZO... from Beverly Hills 90210, the second ranked team in Los Inferales Conference, "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA Now there's a woman you should be drooling over, Tony. Mackenzie DeCenzo. Unlike Jade Rodez, brains and beauty. SCHIAVONE Despite a rough night at Anglepalooza, the Blonds were victorious in their match against Los Diablos de Fuego due to outside interference from a man we only know is the newest member of the Enterprise. But it's possible the war has yet to be won. If Los Diablos are able to defeat the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew next week on this very program, then it'll be an Anglepalooza rematch in the Conference Finals of Los Infernales Conference. VENTURA If, Schiavone, if. Don't sleep on the Homewrecking Crew. They already pulled off one major upset by eliminating last year's Anderson Cup champions, the Heavenly Rockers. D*LUX and Jade lead the crowd in a round of applause. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and we're ready to go. Ned Blanchard and Tremendous Tyler start off in the center of the ring with an old school collar-and-elbow tie-up, and Ned flings Tyler across the squared circle with an armdrag. Arrogantly, he snaps a photo of the young heart throb lying stomach-first on his imaginary cell phone and laughs. Tyler doesn't find it humorous, nor do most of the fans in attendence. "Krista's Bitch!" "Krista's Bitch!" "Krista's Bitch!" NED Blanchard covers his ears to block the chant but that just adds fuel to the fire. "KRISTA'S BITCH!" "KRISTA'S BITCH!" "KRISTA'S BITCH!" Ned shrugs it off and locks back up with Tyler, catching him with a knee to the gut...but Bryant pirouettes his way out of a hip toss and takes Blanchard over with one of his own, followed by a dropkick flush to the jaw. Ned regains his composure outside and briefly converses with nearby Enterprise associates Simon Singleton and Mackenzie DeCenzo before hooking it up again, slamming Tremendous Tyler. Then it's D*LUX and Jade who huddle together. Whatever strategy they cooked up fails as Blanchard grabs a side headlock out of another tie-up. To avoid cauliflower ears Tyler shoots Ned off to the ropes, just to have the Handsome Hustler lower the shoulder and the boom. Before he can rise up Bryant must drop down as Blanchard charges off the near side, skipping over the top and then under a leapfrog on the rebound. Ned isn't so lucky the next time around. He bites on a drop-down and gets caught with a SOMOAN DROP! One... Two... Kickout. Blanchard has enough and tags out, as does Tyler. The Video Voyeur and Showtime hook 'em up, trading arm-wringers and hammerlocks, which Shanye counters with a back elbow and side headlock. Sent for the ride Shayne's momentum is enough to take Simon down despite his smaller frame. Singleton leapfrogs Brave coming off the ropes and falls to his stomach on the return, scooping Showtime on the second chance opportunity for a slam only to have him floatover and deliver an atomic drop that sends the Video Voyeur crashing into and out of a netural corner, and straight down with a Chris Jericho style FACECRUSHER! One... Two... Save by Blanchard. VENTURA It just hit me, Tony. SCHIAVONE What's that, Jess? VENTURA Ned's the modern day Jesus, except we know he's real. He saves! SCHIAVONE Make sure not to sit too close to me, will ya. Just to be on the safe side. And there's the tag. Ned, the legal man. VENTURA Won't this be interesting. Blanchard's calling for a test of strength. Ain't no way he loses this. Jesse's right. Ned overpowers Shanye the moment they lock hands. No place to go Shanye scales Blanchard's body like a wall, climbing to the top of Mount Ned and leaps off, catching Simon on the way in with a closed fist! Ned spins Shayne around and is drilled between the eyes, his punch blocked by Showtime. The tag team specialist that they are, D*LUX go to work on the Handsome Hustler. Double whip in and high baaaaack bodydrop. Running high on life and not drugs, the guys clothesline Simon outside. Blanchard wanders to the wrong side of town and is turned into a human ping pong machine as D*LUX have their way with him. Irish whip, but Ned reverses and backdrops Shanye over the...No, Brave latches onto the top rope and skins the cat back in, and gets popped with a back elbow that sends him tumbling over the top to the arena floor! VENTURA (laughs) That's what Showtime Shayne gets for being too fancy. Charles Robinson has Ned step away so he can administor the 10 count. But when he turns around Shayne is nowhere in sight. The Blonds berate Charles for not doing his job. He tries to explain the situation but Mackenzie will have none of that, citing favoritism in the officiating. Meanwhile, having crawled underneath the ring, Shayne re-appears on the other side and soars off the top, clotheslining Ned! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! BUFFER 5 minutes gone by. 5 minutes. D*LUX tag as Blanchard tries to hightail it, kicked in the tush by Tremendous Tyler, sending him out through the ropes. The Handsome Hustler rushes back in and is brought down with a drop toehold Tyler turns into a side headlock. The pace quickens as Ned fires Tyler off across the ring, decked by a shoulder tackle on the rebound. Blanchard slaps the mat in frustration as Bryant hits the near side. Staying on the ground Ned waits for Tyler to go over the top, but the Tremendous One falls to the seat of his pants and places the Handsome Hustler back in the side headlock! Ned returns to a vertical base and shoves Brave into ropes where he's tripped up by Mackenzie. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SCHIAVONE Mackenzie DeCenzo interjecting herself in the match. No reason for that whatsoever. VENTURA Maybe Tyler's boots were untied and she was trying to warn him. What the referee didn't see Jade Rodez sure did. Mackie heads for high ground as Jade storms her way, jumping on the apron and over the top rope to avoid her wrath, but Jade is able to grab ahold of her foot. Shockingly, the Blonds are unable to pull Mackie to safety. To her horror and delight to men around the world, Jade RIPS OFF HER SKIRT! "YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" VENTURA Defend that, Schiavone. SCHIAVONE I can't and won't. VENTURA Yeah, right. Inside I bet your thinking, "Now tear off her top. Give me a little 'T' to go along with that 'A'." Unfortunately, Mackie lands hard on her face. The Blonds try to help her up, but D*LUX sneak over and give them a DOUBLE COCONUT! VENTURA Mackenzie was right. This referee is bias. D*LUX have been inside together longer than the allowed 5 seconds. Speaking of Mackenzie, she flees backstage covering up her backside. The crowd rise in unison as Tyler lifts Ned up while Shayne ascends to the top and drops the big leg! SCHIAVONE As Seen On 60 Minutes! VENTURA This is horrible. ONE... TWO... THREE! NO!! Simon breaks up the pin and takes a shot from Shayne for his trouble. D*LUX make use of quick tag to drop axehandle smashes onto the outstretch arm of the Handsome Hustler, taking him to the mat with an armdrag before locking on the armbar. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mackenzie DeCenzo returns fully dressed and with backup...CPA. VENTURA Reinforcement has arrived. If the referee won't control the match, you know this guy will. Jade protests the man's presence ringside, but the referee is unable to do a thing as Mackenzie produces a document stating the man's role as "personal security." SCHIAVONE Does he really need to be out here? VENTURA Hey, the rich and famous need protection from weirdos like you and Jade Rodez. Ned scissors the head, causing Showtime Shayne to float on top. Blanchard BRIDGES up and over, jabbing the knee into the gut prior to executing a flawless butterfly suplex. The cover! One... Two... Kickout! Shayne gets the shoulder up. Ned stomps away on the youngster, ramming him into the turnbuckle. He then unloads with heavy rights in the Blonds corner, stomping a mudhole and knocking Tyler off the apron to allow Simon to choke Brave with the tag rope! SCHIAVONE That's cause for disqualification right there. VENTURA It's not cheating unless you're caught. But let me tell you, there's no greater feeling in the world knowing you pulled the wool over the referee's eyes. BUFFER 10 minutes gone by. There are 5 minutes remaining in the time limit. 5 minutes! Charles Robinson claps his hands overhead to symbolize a tag. Shayne kept isolated in the corner as Simon unleashes an offensive assault that includes kneelifts to the midsection, forearm smashes and knife-edge chops. Following a slam Singleton goes up to the top and hits the flying legdrop! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Face-first into the knee of Ned Shayne goes. Another exchange made by the Blonds, as Simon delivers the drop toehold and Ned drops the elbow into the back of the neck. One... Two... And only two. With the clock ticking the Blonds develop a sense of urgency, looking to score with high-impact maneuvers. Blanchard sets Shayne on the top for a suplex, but Showtime responds with fists of fury and a TORNADO DDT! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" The clock is on everyone's mind, including Shayne. Rather than make the tag he decides to Irish whip Ned, only to have it reversed and experience a knee to the lower back from Simon. Blanchard immediately capitalizes with a big-time clothesline and SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!! VENTURA The guys in the truck can add the Blonds name to one of the 4 spots in the Conference Finals. It's over. SCHIAVONE It's not over till the fat lady sings and Jade is no fat lady. VENTURA Give her 5 years and she'll look like that Britney Spears chick. Then she can be fat and sing. ONE... TWO... THREE!! NO, KICKOUT! "YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The Blonds can't believe it and neither can Mackenzie, prompting Simon and Ned to go for it all. Blanchard launches Simon, now the legal man, off the top...AND DOWN ONTO SHAYNE'S KNEES! SCHIAVONE Can he make the tag? No, according to Ned, who tries to lift Shayne up...but he crawls through legs and makes the HOT TAG~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" SHINING ENZIGURI knocks Ned out of the picture, and a YAKUZA KICK sends Simon flying straight back near the ropes! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Mackenzie places the foot on the rope. Jade wants to place her foot somewhere as well -- up Mackie's BUTT. BUFFER 2 minutes remaining in the time limit. 2 minutes! Tremendous Tyler whips Simon hard into the turnbuckles and backdrops him out of the corner, then connects with a TOP ROPE FIST DROP! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Simon lands a LOW BLOW and snaps Bryant over with a swinging neckbreaker, then takes to the air...but Showtime Shayne is there to meet him and slam him off the top! VENTURA And these guys are supposed to be the heroes? They've cheated all night. SCHIAVONE It's not cheating unless you're caught, remember? VENTURA That's strike two, Schiavone. One more strike and I'm knocking you out. D*LUX tune-up the band in the corner. Outside, Jade goes after Mackenzie and runs into the Enterprise's one-man security force. Unimpressed, she takes a swing at the big man and has her wrist twisted! SCHIAVONE He's gonna break her hand, Jesse! VENTURA Serves her right. Jade's been sticking her nose where it don't belong all night. You wanna play with the big boys, you're gonna be treated like one. Jade's cry for help nabs the attention of Showtime Shayne Brave, who propels himself over the top and onto the the man below...only to be caught and posted into the steel! SCHIAVONE My goodness, Jesse. Did you see that? VENTURA He may be Brave, but he just proved he's really stupid. Forget about the girl. Bones heal. Win the match! While Shayne decided to save Jade, Tyler went for the superkick...but Simon ducked and rolled him up in a school boy! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO!! BUFFER 1 minute remaining in the time limit. 60 seconds! Tyler reverses the attempted Irish whip and readies for the Merry Tyler Gore Show, but the Video Voyeur has it well scouted, wrapping him up in a small package following a leapfrog! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Charles spots Shayne agonizing on the floor while the action continues behind him. He chooses to question Mackenzie and her bodyguard rather than pay attention to the happenings in the ring. BUFFER 45 seconds! Both men rush to their feet and Singleton is brought down in a sunset flip...but there's no referee! SCHIAVONE One, two, three, four, five... VENTURA That ain't gonna do him any good. The referee's count is the only one that matters. SCHIAVONE He's got him down for at least a 10-count. BUFFER 30 seconds! Tyler voices his anger directly to Charles Robinson, who tells him to continue on as he turns the heat up on Mackie and her bodyguard. Simon sneaks up from behind and misses a right, Tyler dropping down and rolling Simon back to the center of the ring in a pinning combination. VENTURA He's got the trunks! SCHIAVONE He does not. VENTURA Look at him admiring his handywork. SCHIAVONE His head is down to apply added leverage. VENTURA What, the trunks aren't enough? SCHIAVONE Charles Robinson, one of the finest officials in our great sport, is totally out of position. Tonight just hasn't been his night. BUFFER 15 seconds! Simon kicks Tyler forward as Ned slides in and nails Bryant with the STUN GUN. The illegal man, Blanchard drapes Tyler's arm over his head to shield the referee from noticing him. BUFFER 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,... ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime The Blonds and Mackenzie burst in celebration. Their bodyguard cool and collected, arms folded. VENTURA He pinned him with 1 second remaining! SCHIAVONE The Beverly Hills Blonds stole the match, that's what they did. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, advancing onto the Conference Finals... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS! Jade kneels next to Shayne outside, clutching her wrist, while Tyler lies motionless inside. The Blonds, meanwhile, continue their celebration all the way up the steel ramp and backstage. LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE FINALS February 15th (2) Beverly Hills Blonds vs. (8) Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew/Los Diablos de Fuego (5) TONY As you can see, one half of the Los Infernales Conference final is set with the second semifinal coming next week right here on HeldDOWN. That's it for us for now, let's send it back to Michael Cole and The Coach. COLE Thank you and nice work once again, gentlemen. This week's second Anderson Cup semifinal is coming up later tonight, so stay tuned. FADE EXCITING! EXHILIRATING! EYE-PUNISHING FONTS! SOME OTHER WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "E"! IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! February 1 - Halifax, Nova Scotia for HeldDOWN~! February 8 - Ottawa, Ontario for HeldDOWN~! February 15 - Albuquerque, NM for HeldDOWN~! February 22 - Baltimore, MD for HeldDOWN~! February 24 - Cleveland, OH for OAOAST Syndicated March 1 - Tokyo, Japan for HeldDOWN~! CATCH ALL THE EXCITMENT OF THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! COLE It was only a week ago that Gibraltar and Saint Andrew were revealed as the men behind the plot to deliberately injure James Wolfenstein. COACH Probably more Saint Andrew than the big man, he doesn’t strike me as a guy who thinks out devious plans. MICHAEL COLE Gibraltar is the kind of guy to clobber first, ask questions later COACH Or just clubber first and then not care about questions, something the Lone Wolf felt this Sunday. MICHAEL COLE The rookie got a first hand taste of just how different wrestling is to the UFC or K1. MICHAEL BUFFER Introducing the next match, first coming down the aisle with his manager Saint Andrew a man so menacing, so uncontrollable that he’s been banned from almost every federation he’s ever competed in – this is the colossal GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBRALTAR!! ”There's a ghost in my bed She cries in her sleep She says I won't let her leave” The arena lights dim, the only visible light is a single spotlight of bright green that’s focused on the curtains ”I lie perfectly still As she stifles her tears I don't want to disturb her” COACH I’m telling you I don’t EVER want to make this guy mad Cole, it’s bad for your health. Saint Andrew runs back and forth from side to side of the entrance telling anyone and everyone that “his giant” cannot be stopped and that he’s shooting straight for the top. ”'Let go, let go - please let me be Look at the ghost you've made of me'” After slowly making his way to the ring Gibraltar steps over the top rope like it wasn’t even there and then turns to get ready for this handicap match. MICHAEL BUFFER And his opponents for this handicap match, both from Monterey, Mexico – Tigre Metallico and Tigre Oro, they are LOS TIGRES DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL RING!!! ”It's the eye of the tiger its the cream of the fight” The two feline inspired luchadors walk out through the entrance and pauses for a moment to high five each other. MICHAEL COLE It’s called a handicap match, but that usually means that the one who’s on his own has the disadvantage COACH Yeah “usually” – but “usually” that guy isn’t over 500 pounds, hell he outweighs BOTH of these guys. ”Risin’ up to the challenge of our rivals and the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night and he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger” WHOA!! WHOA!! STOP! STOP!! The music is cut off as the voice asks, the crowd, Los Tigres and Gibraltar all look towards the entrance to figure out what’s going on. After a second or two Bill Neilson appears in full “Lone Wolves” gear, metal chair in his right hand and a microphone in his left. COACH What’s this jackass doing here? MICHAEL COLE Well if you’d shut up I think he’s about to tell us. BILL NEILSON Guys, guys – no disrespect to you guys, I know you’re amazing Luchadors and all but please, please step aside and let me take care of business. Los Tigres look at each other, then they turn to look at the crowd for their reaction – right now it’s undecided. BILL NEILSON I know I probably don’t stand a chance in there, but damn it I’m a Lone Wolf, and if you attack one Lone Wolf you attack us all!! Come on right now you big bastard, you and me – no rules, no referee JUST ME KICKING YOUR ASS!! COACH He’s lost it!! He’s totally lost it Neilson walks towards the ring with steely determination, passing by Los Tigres who gives him an encouraging nod before heading back to the locker rooms, once again Los Tigres are denied their scheduled match. BILL NEILSON This is for James!! And with that battle cry Neilson enters the ring and attacks the big man with the steel chair *CRACK!!* MICHAEL COLE No effect! Neilson swings the chair once more and strikes Gibraltar in the shoulder, this time with enough force to actually register with the big man. A short jab to the ribs seems to really hurt the giant but also awaken him. Bill raises the chair over his head and *WHACK!* MICHAEL COLE BIG BOOT TO CHAIR!! He kicked the chair in Bill’s face COACH I’m surprised Bill lasted this long, he’s really been working out. Gibraltar places the chair across Bill’s chest and then plants his giant size “forgetabbout it” with a mighty stomp right on the metal. *THUMP* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Bill’s heart is definitely bigger than his wrestling talent tonight as Gibraltar just keeps pounding away on him with stomps to Bill’s scrawny chest. MICHAEL COLE This is a slaughter! COACH Yeah I know I love it too MICHAEL COLE No it’s disgusting COACH He asked for it Cole, if you ask for it don’t be angry when you get it. Gibraltar doesn’t just pull Bill to his feet, he hoists him up with one hand like Bill Neilson was nothing more than an inflatable doll… not that I’d know what they’re like. The colossus enjoys every second of this beat down, sending a clear message to not just James Wolfenstein but to everyone else that tries to mess with Gibraltar. The message? Don’t fuck with Gibraltar or he’ll break your ass in half! Gibraltar raises his mighty mitt and then *THUD!* Brings it down with an overhead chop that knocks Bill into the corner, the first massive chop is followed by a second overhead chop and then a third one that strikes with so much force that the only think holding Bill Neilson up right now are the ring ropes he’s desperately clinging to. COACH What was this idiot thinking? I mean going out to challenge the biggest man in the federation? That’s just idiotic MICHAEL COLE He’s standing up for his friend and partner COACH Yeah some friend, you saw how he treated Bill Neilson last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if Wolfenstein just stays in the back with his little boo-boo shoulder. MICHAEL COLE Boo-boo shoulder? He dislocated it on Sunday and isn’t medically cleared to wrestle! COACH Excuses, excuses. Gibraltar grabs Neilson by the trunks to hold him upright, then wraps his hand around the poor helpless man’s throat ready to inflict even more damage. When Gibraltar lifts Bill Neilson up in the air for the Choke Breaker the crowd begins to cheer – something which the big man mistakenly thinks is for him. MICHAEL COLE WOLFENSTEIN!! WOLFENSTEIN IS HERE!! James Wolfenstein comes running down the aisle still in his street clothes and with his left arm heavily taped up and in a sling, but it’s what he’s got in his right hand that Gibraltar needs to worry about – it’s a metal bat and Wolfenstein isn’t afraid to hit a home run. COACH Oh yeah that’s fair, bring a weapon into the ring – what a cheating scumbag!! Gibraltar is totally unaware that James Wolfenstein is right behind him AND armed, he just holds Bill Neilson up in the air to really drive home how powerful he is. The Lone Wolf drives something home himself, the baseball bat *THUD!!* MICHAEL COLE RIGHT TO THE BACK!! Gibraltar drops Bill Neilson and stumbles forward, no matter how big you are a shot like that will hurt. Wolfenstein’s second hit knocks the colossus over the top rope where he tumbles to the floor in a heap. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Wolfenstein looks like a mad man as he stands in the middle of the ring with one arm in a sling and the other raised in the air ready to strike Gibraltar if he comes near him again. MICHAEL COLE Wolfenstein saves the day!! Wolfenstein saved Bill Neilson! COACH Get him out of here Saint, this moron won’t hesitate to crack someone over the skull – he’s insane!! It seems that Saint Andrew agrees with the Coach’s assessment of the situation and manages to get Gibraltar to follow him back towards the locker rooms instead of tasting the metal baseball bat one more time. Once Gibraltar is far enough away Wolfenstein turns to Neilson, crouches down and then checks on the poor unfortunate victim. MICHAEL COLE Bill Neilson showed a lot of courage coming out here COACH And very little brains, maybe Wolfenstein likes that in a partner – brave but stupid. After checking on Neilson Wolfenstein requests a microphone and is promptly handed one WOLFENSTEIN GIBRALTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR!!! *deep, heavy, intense breathing* I don’t know why you’re after me but I am not going to back down because your momma gave birth to a huge freak that belongs in the side show and not the wrestling ring!! COACH Hey now that’s a very demeaning thing to say, freaks can get jobs outside the circus now MICHAEL COLE Yeah commentating with me COACH Yea…. Hey!! WOLFENSTEIN A famous man once said: Adversary introduces a man to himself… well Gibraltar, be prepared to get to know yourself damn well! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! WOLFENSTEIN Get prepared to know ME damn well: My name is James Wolfenstein – AND I COME TO FIGHT!! With the message delivered Wolfenstein throws the microphone down and then uses his good arm to help Bill Neilson back to his feet. Commercial break Edited February 2, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 (edited) *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* COACH Oh yeah! He’s in the tournament! A lightning bolt hits the entrance. The PRL entrance video plays and "Know Your Role ’99" starts blasting over the P.A. system. The crowd stands up and starts booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear over the AngleTron. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke come "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and his manager, and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. The boos get louder. PR has a cocky smirk on his face as he looks at the crowd. He jaws with some fans. Popick holds PRL’s black spray-painted briefcase containing PRL’s Golden Contract inside. Puerto looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the entrance ramp. Clean shaven and with a full head of hair, PRL looks ready to go, not feeling the affects of his losses last Sunday. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a First Round Match in the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the Man With The Golden Contract. "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL runs his mouth at the end of the entrance ramp. COLE PRL and Popick have been involved in tag team wrestling since last year, but it looks like PRL has decided to return to singles action, starting by participating in this tournament. COACH This tournament just got a whole lot more interesting! The Corporate Champion is looking to become X-Division Champion for the first time in his illustrious career! You can’t have a tournament to find a new X-Division Champion without the CORPORATE Champion! COLE That’s a subject for debate. COACH No it’s not. It’s the truth, Ruth. Tha Puerto Rican gets onto the ring apron. He sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ boos as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. PRL does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting, "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL grabs his black spray-painted briefcase and heads over to a second turnbuckle. He raises his briefcase in the air. Puerto then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises the briefcase over his head again. COLE PRL had a bad night at Anglepalooza. He lost the chance to regain the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles to D*LUX. And then he was in the Lethal Rumble Match, and was the second-to-last man eliminated by Zack Malibu! COACH PRL will get the World Title in due time. He still has his guaranteed World Title shot you know! PRL won’t take on Drek Stone in the main event at AngleMania VI, but PR’s not the type of guy to cry over spilled milk. He’s moving on, and this is a good way of doing it. By taking part in this tournament and become the OAOAST X-Division Champion! COLE Funny. I thought PRL is the type of guy who won’t stop whining until he gets what he wants! COACH That’s a lie and you know it! Since when has PRL done something like that? I’m gonna tell PRL what you’ve said. He can sue you for slander, you know! COLE I retract all my statements. COACH There you go. Good boy. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the briefcase with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on in the arena. COACH PRL is going to grace us with his incredible wrestling skills in just a few moments! COLE Coach, don’t you think you take your fandom for Tha Puerto Rican a little too far? COACH I don’t take it far enough if you ask me! COLE What? COACH You heard me! PRL laughs it up with Popick. "Know Your Role ’99" dies down. Popick holds the briefcase. PRL and Popick look towards the entrance as they wait for PRL’s opponent. The crowd buzzes in anticipation. COLE Dan Black already moved on in the tournament earlier tonight. Now it’s time to find out who he’ll meet in the Quarterfinals. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana starts playing, and the crowd cheers. The entrance doors slide open, and Kenji Kawada comes out. Kawada raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. He then walks down the entrance ramp. PRL gets into a fighting stance in the ring. BUFFER And his opponent. From Tokyo, Japan. Weighing in at 245 lbs. KENJI KAWWWWWWAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLE Kenji Kawada, who has been gunning for the HI-YAH World Heavyweight Title, is taking a break to focus on becoming the OAOAST X-Division Champion. COACH And he’s in for quite a ride. His first opponent is Tha Puerto Rican! Talk about a high quality opponent! Kenji’s gotta pull out all the stops if he wants to beat PRL. And he won’t. Kawada climbs the ring steps. He wipes his feet on the ring apron, and then enters the ring. Kenji Kawada raises his hands once again. PRL has a smirk on his face. COLE Two different styles in this match-up. PRL, a high-flyer who can get technical. Kawada, a high impact style, straight from Japan puroesau. Both men are highly accomplished athletes. This should be a good one. COACH The road to AngleMania has begun for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE It may have begun for Kawada. COACH Maybe. But it’s definitely started for Tha Puerto Rican. Kawada takes off his long white, orange, black fakeleather coat, and hands it over to a ringside attendant. He bounces up and down in one place. PRL chats with Popick, and then high fives him. Popick leaves the ring with the black spray-painted briefcase. A graphic letting us know this is a First Round Match in the X-Division Championship Tournament appears on screen. COACH This will be an AWESOME tournament! COLE And I can agree with you on that! Referee Mickey Jay pats down PRL, and then Kawada. He then calls for the bell. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana dies down. *DING DING DING* FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE TOURNAMENT FOR THE VACANT OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN (with Stephen Joseph Popick) vs. KENJI KAWADA A "P.R. SUCKS!" chant immediately starts up. P.R. sneers at the crowd. Kenji gets into a fighting stance. COLE And the crowd’s fired up! COACH Yeah. Idiots. Tha Puerto Rican has a smirk as he looks at Kenji. PRL and Kenji circle each other. They lock up. Both men jockey for position. PRL grabs a side headlock on Kenji Kawada. He cinches the hold tight. PRL brings Kenji down to the mat while holding onto the side headlock. Kawada grabs PRL with his legs, making PR let go of the headlock. Both men get up. They lock up again. PRL grabs another side headlock. Kenji takes P.R. into the ropes, and then shoves him off. PRL leapfrogs over Kenji. Kawada returns, and PRL does a reverse leapfrog over him. Kawada bounces off the ropes, and PRL gives him an arm-drag! Kenji gets up...another arm-drag! PR and Kenji Kawada both get up at the same time. PRL bows towards Kawada while saying something in mock-Japanese, then strikes a martial arts pose. The crowd boos. COLE PRL mocking his opponent! COACH Ha ha! I love it! Kenji didn’t appreciate the mockery. PRL and Kawada circle each other again. They lock up. Kawada grabs PRL’s left arm and applies a wristlock on it. PRL does a backflip (!), and reverses it into his own wristlock. Puerto hammers the arm with the point of his right elbow. PRL chops Kawada across the chest! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" P.R. whips Kawada into the ropes--Kawada reverses--PRL bounces off the ropes, Kawada leapfrogs over him, PRL bounces off the opposite ropes, Kawada leapfrogs. PR stops in his tracks. Kawada turns around. *SLAP!* And gets slapped right across the face by Tha Puerto Rican! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE What a sign of disrespect from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL locks up with Kawada a third time. Kawada knees P.R. in the stomach, and then scoops him up, slamming Puerto down onto the mat! Kenji drops an elbow onto P.R.L.’s chest! Kenji goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT. COLE PR still in this match! Kenji Kawada picks PRL up. PRL scratches him in his eyes! COLE Oh come on! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican nails Kenji Kawada with a Rock-style punch to the temple. He nails Kenji with another Rock punch. And another! And another! Puerto Rican grabs Kenji’s right arm and whips him into the ropes. Dropkick! NO! Kenji holds onto the ropes, and PRL hits the canvas! COACH OH NO! Kenji Kawada quickly grabs P.R. by his legs...and slingshots him onto the top ring rope! PRL bounces off the top rope...and gets rolled up by Kawada! 1... 2... PR KICKS OUT!!! COACH Oh thank God! PRL and Kawada get up. Tha Puerto Rican jumps onto Kenji Kawada’s shoulders, and brings him down with a hurricarana! Tha Puerto Rican pounds on Kawada’s forehead! But then Kawada grabs PR with his legs, and turns him over, pinning him! ONE! TWO! PRL KICKS OUT! PR and Kawada both get up again. P.R. goes for a clothesline, but Kenji ducks, hooks PRL up, and goes for a backslide! NO! PRL holds on. PRL goes for a backslide! Kawada holds on! PRL and Kenji Kawada fight over the backslide! COLE Who’s gonna get it first? Who? WHO!? PRL fights with all his might. However, PRL starts to move. His feet leave the mat. Kawada gets the backslide! The crowd cheers! 1...2....KICK OUT! COLE Kawada and PRL getting into it in the early going! COACH Come on PR! Take care of this loser and move onto the next round! Both men get up. PRL attacks Kawada with a Gamengiri! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! Kawada is down! Tha Puerto Rican stands tall, looking down at his opponent. The crowd boos loudly. Popick tells PRL to ’Stay on him! STAY ON HIM!’ COACH All right! Spectacular move from Tha Puerto Rican! That gets a 5! No, a 10! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican stomps on Kenji Kawada with his shaky leg kicks. P.R. then switches to fist drops to Kenji’s head. Puerto bounces off the ropes, stops in his tracks, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops another fist onto Kenji Kawada’s forehead! The Five Knuckle Shuffle! Puerto goes for the cover. 1.... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP! "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! PR sneers at the crowd. He picks Kawada up, and applies an abdominal stretch on him. COLE PRL going to work on Kawada. PRL keeps the abdominal stretch on tight. The crowd boos loudly. Mickey Jay checks on Kawada, who refuses to give up. PR then ups the ante by holding onto the top ring rope. The crowd boos some more. COACH I don’t see what the big deal is. He’s just holding the ropes. So what? COLE Coach, he’s cheating! And you know it! COACH Doesn’t look like cheating to me! LITTLE BOY P.R. SUCKS! PRL SHUT UP YOU LITTLE WEASEL! The crowd roots for Kawada to make the comeback. Kawada waves his arms around, trying to get a grip on anything, while PR continues applying the abdominal stretch with an evil grin on his face. Finally, Kawada elbows PR in the face. He does it again! Two more times! Two more times! Kenji Kawada grabs Tha Puerto Rican and goes for a hiptoss! P.R. won’t budge. Instead, PRL punches Kenji in the gut, does a backflip, and STILL gets hiptossed by Kenji Kawada! COLE And Kenji Kawada escapes the abdominal stretch! Popick’s starting to panic on the outside. COACH Come on, come on! PR! Kenji Kawada picks Tha Puerto Rican up...and gives him a back suplex! Kawada covers PRL! And gets two! Kawada picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He goes for a vertical suplex. But PRL won’t budge. PRL lifts Kawada up, and gives him a vertical suplex. He then rolls through and gives him another vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through again, and lifts Kawada up. He holds Kawada in the air, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd is in awe. COLE PRL going for it! The Corporate Champ does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture, and then walks to the ropes. He drops Kawada’s gut on the top ring rope, and finishes with a slingshot suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta! Afterwards, PR applauds himself. The crowd boos. COACH Excellent Corporate Trifecta from Tha Puerto Rican! Puerto Rican picks Kenji Kawada up. Russian Legsweep! P.R. then heads to the top rope. The crowd buzzes. COLE PRL going up top! COACH He’s going to finish it, Michael Cole! He’s going in for the kill! The crowd roots for Kawada to get up. PRL climbs the top turnbuckle. He has a look of determination on his face. COLE PRL looking for a moonsault on Kenji Kawada! COACH Go for it, P.R.! Don’t stand there waiting! Kenji Kawada is lying perfectly still in the centre of the ring. PRL stands on the top rope. Popick commands for him to make a move. COLE This could be it, Coach! COACH It is, Michael! It is! Suddenly, Kenji Kawada springs to life! He runs over to where PRL is--- AND CROTCHES HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Kenji stopping the moonsault just in time! PRL is on the top rope, holding his gonads in pain. The crowd is starting to come alive. Kenji Kawada climbs the top rope too. COLE Kenji’s on top! Kawada grabs "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. He hooks him up, and looks down below. A hush silence falls over the crowd. Kawada and PRL leave the top rope. SUPER BACK SUPLEX!!!!!!!! COLE Oh my~! A super back suplex! Kenji Kawada has got PRL right where he wants him! The crowd cheers loudly. Both PRL and Kenji lie on the mat, breathing heavily. COLE Both men are down for the count! Mickey Jay is actually doing the 10 count. Kenji starts moving his arms. Popick is slapping the ring apron to try and get his client up. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK COME ON P.R.! COME ON! COLE Who’s gonna get up first? Kawada sits up. Kenji slowly gets to his feet. PRL is crawling around the ring. COACH It’s PR! PR’s getting up! He’s doing it! Kenji uses the second and bottom ropes to pull himself up. Kawada is on a vertical base. PRL is still getting up, so Kawada grabs him and picks him up. He goes for the Orange Crush, but Popick’s on the ring apron! COLE What’s Popick doing there? Kawada sees Popick, so he drops PRL and knocks Popick off the ring apron with one punch! COLE Popick goes down! COACH We’ve got Popick down! We’ve got Popick down! Somebody call an ambulance! Kawada picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He goes for the ORANGE CRUSH~!!! But PRL shoves him off! RIGHT INTO A BRIEFCASE SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! COLE Hey! It’s Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! What is she doing here? COACH Who cares!? She’s here and she’s HOT! Lindsay jumps off the ring apron. Kenji Kawada falls to his knees, holding the back of his head in pain. The crowd is booing. PRL grabs Kawada. KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111 COLE And there’s the Corporate Nightmare! COACH Kenji wasn’t prepared to deal with The Lightning Crew wasn’t he? "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican covers Kenji Kawada, hooking his right leg. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds onto the black spray-painted briefcase and smiles evilly. Stephen Joseph Popick slowly gets up. Mickey Jay, who was checking on Popick when Lindsay interfered, gets on his knees and makes the count. The crowd boos. COLE No! Not this way! 1.... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (6:38) COACH PR wins! PR wins! COLE Oh! And PRL moves onto the Quarterfinals! "Know Your Role ’99" starts playing again. Lindsay bounces up and down, which is good news for the people at ringside. PRL raises his hands in victory, while Kenji Kawada holds his face in pain. BUFFER Here is your winner...and moving onto the Quarterfinals of the tournament..."The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Referee Mickey Jay raises PRL’s hands in victory. Stephen Joseph Popick is up, holding onto the ring apron. He cracks a half-smile. COLE Kenji Kawada had the match at hand! But The Lightning Crew once again came to PRL’s rescue, and as a result, it is PRL, NOT Kenji Kawada, that is moving on in the X-Division Championship tournament! COACH Great work by Tha Puerto Rican! PRL’s not exactly an X-Division guy, but he can go with the best of them, and he proved it tonight! COLE He didn’t prove anything! PRL cheated to advance! Kenji Kawada was SCREWED out of a victory! COACH Oh there we go again! With the SCREWING! Come on, Cole! Can’t you admit just once that PRL deserves a victory? COLE I can once he starts winning fair and square! PRL slowly gets up. He stumbles a bit, but he still raises his hands in victory as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. The crowd boos loudly. Popick enters the ring and applauds his client. COLE The tournament has only begun, and we already have a screwjob! COACH Would you stop harping on the ’screwjob’? Geeze! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican high fives his manager and "Career Consultant". Popick smiles evilly. He and PRL laugh manically as they exit the ring to join Lindsay Gonzalez on the outside. Kenji Kawada is still lying on the mat in pain, being checked on by Mickey Jay. COLE Well, Tha Puerto Rican can thank Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez for this victory! Because it’s thanks to her that he’s moving on in the tournament! COACH PR’s baby girl helps her man out once again! That Lindsay is such a sweetheart. She truly loves Tha Puerto Rican! And she’ll do anything for him! COLE Including helping him win matches? COACH Well, there’s that. COLE That’s all I need. COACH Hey. I wasn’t done! COLE Kenji Kawada put up a fight, but in the end, he couldn’t survive the strength in numbers that is The Lightning Crew’s specialty! A heartbreaking loss for Kenji Kawada! COACH Now he can go back to obscurity. He had his fifteen minutes of fame wrestling Tha Puerto Rican. Now, he’s back to nowhere’sville. COLE Coach, Kenji’s a huge star in Japan! COACH So? COLE So, he’s not obscure. COACH Well, he is to me! And my opinion is the only one that matters! COLE No it doesn’t. Thank God. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick help "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up the entrance ramp. Lindsay is carrying the black spray-painted briefcase, while Popick is yelling out, "YES! YES! YES!" The crowd boos loudly. COLE Let’s take a look at the brackets for this tournament. A graphic appears on screen. "After Hours" Felix Strutter vs. "The Ice Heart" Dan Black -- Black "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Kenji Kawada -- PRL Otaku II vs. James Riggs "The Birmingham Bad Boy" Jamie O’ Hara vs. Reject Spanish Fly vs. Jay Richards Dance Dance Dragon vs. Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez Vitamin X vs. James Blonde Longdogger Pete vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix COLE So next week, there’ll be two more X-Division tournament matches. Otaku II makes his return to the OAOAST to take on James Riggs. And in the second match, you will see a rematch of Anglepalooza. The match that led us to this tournament. Jamie O’ Hara taking on Reject! There will be two First Round matches a week. The Quarterfinals will begin on OAOAST Syndicated on February 24th. The Semi-Final matches will both take place on the March 22nd HeldDOWN~!. And the Finals will take place at AngleMania VI on April 1st! COACH It’s going to be an exciting two months of action, Michael Cole! And it’ll all culminate with PRL adding another title to his resume on April 1st at AngleMania VI! COLE Don’t be too sure about that, Coach. PRL’s got some stiff compeition. ’O Hara, Spanish Fly, Ramone Juan Jesus, Landon Maddix, James Riggs, Reject. These are all favourites to win! COACH True, they’re all good competitors...but PRL can still win it all! It’s not like he’ll have any trouble if he faces, like, Dance Dance Dragon! HA! COLE Well, you never know. COACH I think I know about that! COLE We’ll see. Anyway fans, stay tune for more HeldDOWN~! right after this! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican raises his hands in the air. Stephen Joseph Popick laughs manically. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez raises PRL’s black spray-painted briefcase in the air and sticks her tongue out. The three heels smile evilly as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. The crowd boos. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. FADE OUT * COMMERCIAL BREAK * OAOAST Syndicated February 24th on TSM. Money Talks hits, and boos fill the arena, as Theodore Moneymaker, laughing maniacally, walks through the curtains, followed by Christian Wright. COLE Time for another Anderson Cup match! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is a second-round matchup in the Anderson Cup Tournament, scheduled for one fall! Making their way down the aisle, at a combined weight of 462 pounds! They are the #3 seed in the Los Infernales bracket...introducing first, hailing from Washington, DC...CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRISSSSSSSSTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIGHT!!!!! His tag team partner, hailing from Vero Beach, Florida, he is the CEO of the Enterprise...THHHHHHHEODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE EEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMONEYYYYYYYYYYYYMMMMMMMMAKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE And this team got here with a victory over the Love Doctors, the former HI-YAH tag team champions! *shot of Teddy laughing* COLE And there you see Theodore Moneymaker, one of the hot newcomers in the OAOAST! Stars and Stripes Forever hits, and Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin make their way down the aisle. BUFFER Their opponents...at a combined weight of 485 pounds...they are the #2 seed in the Los Infernales Bracket, the team of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA'S TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! Moss and Benjamin slide into the ring and pose on the corner, then jump back down. The referee checks them, and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And this match underway! The crowd gets on the case of Wright and Teddy, as Moss and Benjamin egg them on. Benjamin steps out, and eventually Wright does, as well. COLE And Theodore Moneymaker going to start it off against Charlie Moss! Teddy and Moss circle the ring, and tie up. After a brief struggle, Moss executes an armdrag on Teddy! Teddy slaps the mat in frustration. COLE Nice armdrag by Charlie Moss, trying to gain an advantage early! Teddy gets up, and the two tie up again, this time with Teddy taking Moss down with a hiptoss! Teddy gets a big smile on his face, as he makes the "come on" gesture to Moss. Moss gets to his feet, and the two circle the ring once again. COACH It's all even so far! Moss grabs a side headlock. Teddy backs him into the ropes, then whips him across. Moss comes back with a shoulderblock, sending Teddy to the mat! Teddy rolls all the way over, and lands on his stomach. He then gets up, and complains to the referee about a closed fist! COACH Yeah, that was a closed fist, I saw it too! COLE I didn't see that! Teddy yells at the fans to shut up, getting boos in response. He circles the ring with Moss once again, and they tie up. He pushes Moss off again, and goes down on a shoulderblock again! Moss backs into the ropes again, and Teddy flips to his stomach, with Moss jumping over. Teddy then gets to his feet and leapfrogs Moss, then drops down for a leapfrog...but takes a fistdrop instead! COACH How about that one? COLE Yeah, I saw that one! Teddy gets to his feet holding his face, and Moss hits him with a dropkick, sending him out to the floor! COLE And it's Charlie Moss with the advantage early on! Teddy confers with Wright on the floor, as Benjamin awaits him in the ring. COLE Tag made in the ring, and Quentin Benjamin in to meet Theodore Moneymaker as he comes back in. Teddy climbs back into the ring, and ties up with Benjamin, who wrings an arm. He wrings it a second time, then Teddy backs him into the ropes and whips him across. Teddy drops down, allowing Benjamin to jump over him, and Wright nails Benjamin from behind! COLE And a cheap shot from the outside from Wright! Benjamin turns around and pulls Wright in over the top rope, then executes a DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER~! COLE And a little meeting of the minds right there! COACH Moss comes into the ring and backs Wright into a corner, as Benjamin takes Teddy across. America's Team sends Teddy and Wright into one another at mid-ring! Wright rolls out, as Teddy takes a swing at Benjamin, who ducks and picks up Teddy for an atomic drop, the impact of which sends Teddy right over the top and to the floor! COLE And America's Team on a roll! Right now, these guys look well-headed to the finals of the Los Infernales bracket! COACH Well, it looks good right now, Cole, but don't count the Enterprise out yet! This one's far from over! Teddy slides right back in, and gets caught in an armdrag! Benjamin bars the arm, then picks Teddy up. Teddy goes to the eyes, and tags in Wright. COLE And now Christian Wright in for the first time! However, Benjamin catches him with an armdrag! Then a second! He bars him on the second one, then tags Moss back in. Moss comes off the second rope with a chop, then picks him up and executes a double underhook suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss tags Benjamin again, and Benjamin hammers away on Wright. Benjamin then delivers a dropkick to Wright, sending him to the floor! Benjamin follows up with a PLANCHA~!, but Wright evades it, and Benjamin hits the floor with a thud! COLE Oh my goodness, and that may be the break the Enterprise needed right there! Wright rolls in, then as Benjamin tries to climb back in, Wright pulls him underneath the bottom rope and picks him up, delivering a backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Wright chokes Benjamin briefly, then tags Teddy back in. Teddy hooks Benjamin, then delivers a vertical suplex! Teddy laughs maniacally, as the crowd boos. COACH And Teddy's happy, as he knows he has the advantage! He picks up Benjamin, then whips him across and delivers a powerslam! 1... 2... Kickout! He tosses Benjamin to the outside, then goes over to the corner to distract Moss and the referee, as Wright rams his back into the apron on the floor! COACH And Benjamin's really being worked over here! I'll still give you a chance to change your prediction, Cole. Wright rolls him into the ring, then Teddy covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Teddy drops a Fistful of Dollars on Benjamin! Then a second! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Teddy goes for a slam, but Benjamin goes behind and tries a reverse sunset! However, Teddy is able to tag Wright on the way by, who comes right in and catches Benjamin with the WRIGHT-OFF~! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE And that was almost it right there! Wright stomps away on Benjamin, then tags Teddy right back in. Teddy slams Benjamin to the mat, then goes up to the second rope. He taunts the crowd, receiving boos, then falls back with an elbow...which misses! COLE And no one home on that elbow, and Benjamin needs to tag! Benjamin scoots over to his corner, and makes the tag! COLE TAG MADE, and Charlie Moss in there! Moss delivers clotheslines to both Wright and Teddy, then delivers bodyslams to both! He whips Wright across the ropes, and catches him with a belly-to-belly! Cover... 1... 2... Save by Teddy! Teddy hammers Moss, and he and Wright both set him up. They whip Moss across, and Moss ducks a double clothesline and floors both men with one of his own! He then grabs Wright from behind, dropping him with the STO BACKBREAKER, before locking him in the MOSSY KNOLL~!!! COLE And the Mossy Knoll applied! Will this be it? However, Teddy breaks up the hold with a clothesline from behind! Moss tags Benjamin back in, and Benjamin hammers away on Teddy! He goes for an Irish whip, but Teddy reverses and tries a clothesline, which Benjamin ducks. Teddy turns around, and Benjamin goes for a kick. DiBiase catches the foot and spins him around, but Benjamin catches him with a spinning wheel kick! Benjamin then gets up to all fours, as Moss backs into the ropes, and they hit him with the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! COLE There's the Double Goozle! This could be it! Moss lifts Teddy up on his shoulders as the crowd gets to their feet! Benjamin goes to the top rope, as Wright attacks Moss from behind, causing Moss to drop Teddy to the mat. Moss and Wright get tangled up, as Benjamin hits Teddy with a flying bodypress! ...but Teddy rolls through, and grabs the tights! COLE Reversal by Teddy! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE He had the tights, damn it! The Enterprise steals it! BUFFER The winners of the match... the team of CHRISTIAN WRIGHT AND THEODORE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMONEYMAKERRRRRR!!!!! Teddy pulls Wright out, and pulls him down the aisle as he raises his hand in the air. COLE The Enterprise gets a win, and advance, but not without a fight, and not without controversy, as you saw as well as I did the handful of tights by Theodore Moneymaker! COACH I saw no such thing, Cole! All I see is the team headed to the finals of the Los Infernales bracket, representing the Enterprise! Teddy turns back around to look at America's Team in the ring, and laughs maniacally. COACH You have to admit Cole, Teddy can find the humor in anything. COLE *Rolls eyes* We've got more HeldDOWN still to come, so don't go anywhere! Commercial break Edited February 2, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is the first match in the H1 Grand Prix qualifying tournament scheduled for 15 minutes. A piano starts to play immediately telling the crowd who’s coming out next. The lights die down slowly until DMX is heard shouting COME ON!! *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHH!* * POP!* POP!* POP!* POP!* POP!* POP!* MICHAEL BUFFER Introducing first coming in at 180 pounds, residing in Miami Florida but a proud son of Columbia – here is COLUMBIAN HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing as Columbian Heat makes his appearance, hands raised, getting the crowd going. COACH How can he be in such a good mood? I mean the guy lost the chick and the title all in the last month, it’s truly been a shitty 2007 for Columbian Heat. MICHAEL COLE If he just gave up, rolled over and played dead then he wouldn’t be the Columbian Heat we all know, we all know that the loss of the HI-YAH tag-team titles is just a temporary setback. Columbian Heat leaps over the top rope and then climbs the turnbuckles to throw the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal to all the dawgs, players and pimps in the hizzouse. After throwing the “dub” Heat takes the microphone from Michael Buffer and waits in the middle of the ring until everyone is ready for it. COLUMBIAN HEAT If all of y'all are ready to see me make this whack ass Gutierrez feel the Heat, make some noise up in this BI-AAAATCH~!!! Heat raises the microphone in the air as the crowd most definitely makes some nose in this “Biatch!” MICHAEL COLE And his opponent originally from Cuba now also residing in Miami Florida... The leader of Los Vatos Locos - RAMONE!! JUAN!! HEY-SUS!! GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTIERREZ!!! I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* COACH Is that really wise? I mean if Immigration came through here they may take Columbian Heat back with them too MICHAEL COLE I know for a fact that Heat’s papers are all in order COACH Oh yeah? Nice pedigree and everything? Ramone walks out to the squave bossanova tones that have become synonymous with the ruthless, semi-psychopatic Ramone Gutierre with his ever present bodyguard “Big” Dave behind him looking like he’s on a sightseeing tour. COACH This guy has it all Cole, he’s got talent, he’s got that all important killer instinct MICHAEL COLE A mental illness COACH I wouldn’t go that far, he’s just “dedicated” – not that you’d know what that’s like, I mean you’re the guy who gives up 20 minutes into watching 60 Minutes Ramone looks pretty confident as he gives “Big” Dave a high five before walking up the steps and then bouncing over the top rope into the ring. While Heat looks fired up and ready Ramone looks almost indifferent as he leans back in the corner. MICHAEL COLE If you’re wondering if El Esperito will appear tonight then the answer is no, he’s returned to HI-YAH Mexico where he’s involved in that federation’s qualifier tournament. COACH So what you’re saying is that we’ll see BOTH Vatos in the H1 Grand Prix MICHAEL COLE Well we could potentially see that yes COACH You’ve got to admire El Esperito MICHAEL COLE WHAT? Not in a million years COACH Oh come on now, he’s making it big in the OAOAST but he still has time for his roots back in Mexico, that’s commendable *DING!*DING!* At first it looks like Ramone is content to just hang back and chill in the corner, but in the end he figures that no one ever won a match that way and approaches Columbian Heat while talking trash. Heat takes it pretty easy and laid back just smiling at Ramone’s attempts at pissing him off - when Ramone mouths off about Heat’s now ex-girlfriend he strikes a nerve though and the smile is wiped right off his face and Heat decides to take the offensive Heat charges in ready to fight… only to be poked in both eyes as Ramone almost casually jabs his opponent with his index and middle finger. MICHAEL COLE Oh come on, the match has hardly started and Gutierrez is already cheating COACH Cheating? What on earth are you on about? It’s just good tactical wrestling, nothing more. Ramone just laughs as Heat stumbles around blindly, then when Heat regains his vision Ramone quickly moves in and pokes Heat in the eyes once more. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Ramone can’t help but laugh and then mockingly stumble around like he was blind, a gesture that backfires as he bumps into Columbian Heat who instinctively lashes out with a back elbow right to Ramone’s nose. After realizing just who he elbowed Heat grins and then adds insult to injury by poking Ramone in the eyes. MICHAEL COLE Poke-a-thon 2007 COACH Really? I thought that wasn’t until the 14th? How did you get an invite anyway? MICHAEL COLE Erm.. no I’m referring to the action in the ring COACH Right MICHAEL COLE … what were you talking about? COACH NOTHING! Nothing at all, just go on commentating the match. Heat sizes up Ramone Gutierrez and then swiftly knocks him down with a Pele Kick OLÉ!! When Ramone gets back up it’s short lived as Columbian Heat once again nails him with a perfectly executed Pele Kick OLÉ!! Ramone isn’t dumb enough to fall for that move a third time as he quickly backs off and sticks to the ropes so that Columbian Heat doesn’t get another chance. After a quick shout out to his homies Columbian Heat sets out to rock Ramone’s world Only to have his own rocked with a tilt-a-while backbreaker! COACH Ramone bringing it Luchador style! MICHAEL COLE You say that like Columbian Heat doesn’t wrestle a very similar style COACH Typical whitey – just because Heat is from a South American country he’s automatically gots to be a Luchador. MICHAEL COLE What about Ramone and the Luchador style?? COACH That’s TOTALLY different…. He’s Cuban after all MICHAEL COLE And that explains it? COACH I think that you’ll find that it does, now shut up and commentate MICHAEL COLE Ramone gives “Big” Dave a quick knowing nod and then sends Columbian Heat into the ropes once more. When he tries for a tilt-a-whirl back breaker once again Heat manages to shift his weight to turn it into a Christo Headscissors takedown on Ramone instead. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! When Ramone gets back to his feet he’s quickly tossed half way across the ring when Heat demonstrates his quickness by catching Gutierrez with a huracanrana. After being tossed across the ring the stunned Ramone quickly slides backwards under the bottom ropes to the floor for a breather. MICHAEL COLE I don’t think Ramone Gutierrez expected Columbian Heat to be such a formidable opponent, he totally underestimated him COACH Cole, Cole, Cole… it’s called psyching your opponent out, you wouldn’t know cause you’re not an athlete like myself. MICHAEL COLE Is that so? COACH Here is a little secret, 50% of this sport is 100% mental. MICHAEL COLE Ramone makes sure his mask is still in place as he tries to formulate a counter to Columbian Heat’s speedy offence. Whatever counter Ramone might have in mind comes a little too late as Heat leaps over the top rope to the floor with a rope assisted senton splash. HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! MICHAEL COLE Columbian Heat is a CASA EN FUEGO!! Heat rolls Ramone into the ring, then runs down along the guardrail to slap some hands before crawling up on the apron. Heat climbs the turnbuckles as Ramone Gutierrez staggers back to his feet. MISSILE DROP KICK!! Heat’s feet strikes the Cuban square in the chest knocking him back into the corner from the sheer impact. After laying on the canvas for a second Columbian Heat pops the crowd with the customary Spinaroonie sit up YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! MICHAEL COLE He’s got the crowd eating out of his hand, he’s definitely the crowd favorite to win this tournament COACH Oh my god the disgrace, Columbian Heat representing the OAOAST? We’re not all thugs here dawg! MICHAEL COLE I think he’d be the perfect representative COACH Yeah YOU would When Columbian Heat sees Ramone slumped back against the bottom turnbuckle he can’t help but smile, then he gets back in the opposite corner to give him the longest possible running start before sprinting across the ring. MICHAEL COLE BRONCOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BU- *THUD* HURH!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Columbian Heat hits nothing but turnbuckle as “Big” Dave steps in at the last second and hauls Ramone out of the ring. With his back to the ring the big bodyguard tries his best to help Ramone recover, fanning him for air as he tries to talk to him. Heat clutches his ribs but still manages to crawl half way through the ropes, grab Dave and Ramone by the hair and then drive the two heads together. *BONK!!* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! The bodyguard is pretty unaffected by it but the headbutt really rattles Ramone who drops to his knees as he tries to hang on to his consciousness. Inside the ring Columbian Heat backs off to the side away from “Big” Dave as he clutches his ribs after hitting the turnbuckles. The referee begins to count on Ramone Gutierrez as he sits slumped over on the floor clutching his head, it’s obvious that the leader of Los Vatos Locos isn’t really paying attention to the count right now THREE!! “Big” Dave starts to argue with the referee but unfortunately he doesn’t stop the count FOUR!! MICHAEL COLE Ramone is taking a pounding here tonight, Columbian Heat is not giving him a moment to breathe. FIVE!! COACH He is now, I mean look at Heat over there in the corner, clutching his ribs, breathing heavily. SIX!! “Big” Dave helps Ramone back to his feet but he’s still not steady enough on his feet to stay standing without holding on to the guardrail. SEVEN!! At seven Columbian Heat takes off running straight for the rope, his intentions are very, very clear. Heat leaps over the top rope without even touching it and then CRASHES INTO THE GUARDRAIL!! *CRESH!!* MICHAEL COLE Oh sweet mother of mercy he crashed into the guardrail chest first!! COACH Ramone moved!! Ramone isn’t as out of it as he looked!! Ramone had moved at the very last possible moment, overplaying just how hurt he was. Ramone turns and looks at Columbian Heat as his eyes narrow and harden almost like something evil flickers across them. COACH Oh I love this! Ramone or maybe I should say “La Cicatriz” right about now tears into Columbian Heat with a series of well placed kicks to the short ribs before grabbing the Columbian by the basketball jersey and tosses him under the bottom rope into the ring. Ramone slithers in after him and then goes to work with a straight fingered jab aimed right at Heat’s Adam’s Apple. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! RAMONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* The anger flares up in Ramone’s face, an anger he immediately takes out on Columbian Heat with a knee drop to his opponent’s hurt ribs and then a cold blooded, calculated move where Ramone steps between Heat’s legs onto… that spot you know COACH & COLE Ramone even goes so far as to feign surprise at where he’s stepping when the referee calls him on it, because as we all know – you can accidentally step on someone’s junk and not know it. MICHAEL COLE What a bastard, what a cold hearted, psychopathic bastard! COACH Yeah!! MICHAEL COLE Wait you agree with me? COACH Damn right, Heat had no business putting that under Ramone’s foot MICHAEL COLE COACH I heard that. Gutierrez pulls Heat to his feet and then whips him into the corner with so much force that Ramone himself falls to the canvas from it. After getting back to his feet Ramone leaps at Heat throwing his whole body against Columbian Heat with little regard for his own well being. When Ramone grabs Heat by what little hair he’s got the referee steps in to break it up, but that seems to be Ramone’s plan all along, because while he distracts the referee “Big” Dave pulls Heat out of the ring, picks him up in a spine buster position and then rams him back first into the ringpost *CRUNCH!!* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Then he pushes Heat half way through between the top and second rope so that he’s seated leaned back into the ring. MICHAEL COLE Oh bad, bad, bad. Ramone grins, not an arrogant grin but the grin of a stone cold killer who’s got a victim in his sights. The Cubano quickly climbs the turnbuckles and then leaps off aiming a double stomp at Heat’s chest MICHAEL COLE OH THANK CHRIST HE MOVED!! Heat somehow managed to pull his upper body up out of harms way so that Ramone only stomps the canvas and not his ribcage. Since Ramone landed on his feet he’s in an excellent position to kick Heat across the back with a hollow thud! COACH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breathes heavily* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!! MICHAEL COLE You think you’re funny don’t you? COACH I don’t argue with the general population Cole. Ramone grabs the referee by the shirt and looks like he’s hurt, something which is OBVIOUSLY a ploy but good enough to distract the referee long enough. *POWii* “Big” Dave clocks Columbian Heat square on the jaw, knocking him to the ground so that he lays with his shoulders on the canvas but his lower body still draped over the middle rope. When Dave backs off Ramone pushes the referee out of his way, runs at the rope to bounce off the top rope for a twisting leg drop right to Columbian Heat’s throat. Ramone tries to cover him but Heat still has his legs on the rope so the referee doesn’t even bother to count him down. RAMONE CHU COUNT WHEN I DAMN WELL TELL CHU TO COUNT!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* I-MMI-GRATION! *Clap-Clap*ClapClapClap* Ramone looks like he’s about to strike the referee but then finally calms down a bit and unclenches (fist and … other) MICHAEL COLE If Ramone had punched the referee he’d be out of the tournament COACH He’d never do anything that stupid Cole MICHAEL COLE I’m not sure, Ramone looked like he was ready to offload on referee Charles Robinson. Ramone finally regains some measure of calm and composure and turns his attention back to the scheduled opponent. He drags Heat to his feet, before Columbian Heat quickly finds himself whipped into the corner. The whip in is followed by a running drop kick that strikes the trapped Columbian Heat square in the chest. Ramone quickly gets back to his feet after the drop kick, pulls Heat out of the corner and then sets him up for a certain double underhook move. COACH RAMONE’S WAY!! If he hits this it’s over Cole When Gutierrez tries to land the pedigree piledriver Columbian Heat gathers up all his strength to block it, then he slowly stands up straight lifting Ramone off the ground before falling backwards *WHAM!!* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! MICHAEL COLE HEAT COUNTERED!! HEAT COUNTERED RAMONE’S WAY!!! COACH How the hell did he pull that off? He’s got to be running on empty about now. It looks like both competitors are feeling the effects of the match as they lay there on the ground, both groggy from the match, both trying to regain their senses and get back in control of the match. Ramone seems to actually be the one in a slightly better shape, but he has been the one dishing it out for the last couple of minutes while Heat has already taken a major ass whooping. COACH Alright someone break out the Bavarian chick because this is about to be over Ramone pulls himself to his feet, brushes the long hair out of his face and then grins as he sees Columbian Heat still down on the canvas. A smile that’s quickly wiped off his face when COLUMBIAN HEAT KIPS UP!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! Ramone looks shocked when he sees Columbian Heat kip back up to his feet and then launch himself at Ramone with a spin kick fueled only by sheer determination. After bouncing right back to his feet Heat takes a step forward, then he begins to shake his shoulders as he grins for the Heat Shimmy dance! COACH Oh give me a break, focus on the damn match here instead of giving everyone a bad Mexican Hat dance display. MICHAEL COLE Columbian Heat is feeling the adrenaline rush Coach!! Heat blasts Ramone with a right hand *POW!* Then another right hand *POWii* Followed by a third right hand and then a quick DANCE~! Followed by a final right hand that knocks Ramone down YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! Heat points to the top rope with a big grin on his face, he’s apparently about to take to the air and finish this match off. While Ramone slowly staggers back to his feet Columbian Heat grabs the top rope and then leaps up while turning around in one smooth motion. When Ramone is back on his feet the Heat flies like an eagle CROSS BODY BLOCK!!! But Columbian Heat’s momentum takes him too far allowing Gutierrez to roll with the Cross body block so that he ends up on top of Columbian Heat instead. ONE!! TWO!!! TH-NO-KICKOUT!! COACH Oh damn that was close, Ramone almost advanced in the tournament MICHAEL COLE You should know better than to write Heat off, you NEVER know what he’s capable off. Heat is only up onto his knees when Ramone wraps an arm around Heat’s head and another one hooks one of Columbian Heat’s legs for a small package ONE!! TWO!!! NO-ROLLOVER!! Heat manages to roll out of pinning position ending up on top of Ramone Gutierrez ONE!! TWO!!! NO-ROLLOVER AGAIN!! Ramone muscles his shoulders off the canvas and turns the small package on Columbian Heat once more ONE!! TWO!!! NO!! Through sheer determination Columbian Heat manages to roll out of the pinfall position so that he’s on top of Gutierrez once more ONE!! TWO!!! NO!! “Big” Dave reaches through the ropes and pulls Gutierrez’ leg to turn the small package over once more MICHAEL COLE GET HIM OUT OF HERE!! Ramone is once again on top for the cover ONE!! TWO!!! “Big” Dave reaches through the ropes and pushes on Ramone to keep him on top of Columbian Heat THREE!!!! *DING!*DING!*DING!* BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! Ramone quickly rolls off the surprised Columbian Heat and then does a mocking “Heat Shimmy” as the announcement is made MICHAEL COLE The winner of the match advancing to the qualifying final: RAMONE GUTERREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!! MICHAEL COLE Here comes Venom and Discovery! COACH What the hell are these two guys doing? Halloween isn’t until October MICHAEL COLE I think they’re telling the referee what’s going on, they’re letting him know that Ramone cheated Venom and Discovery both gesture wildly as they try to explain how “Big” Dave helped out, trying to convince the referee to reverse his decision. Ramone immediately slides to the floor and gets in the two Space Cadets face yelling at them to mind their own business MICHAEL COLE In case you’re wondering where Space Phaero and Supernova are then they’re back in Japan competing in the HI-GATE H1 Grand Prix qualifier COACH What? Oh that’s ridiculous – just up and leave your obligations in the OAOAST for a little tournament MICHAEL COLE You commended Esperito for doing the same. COACH It’s NOT the same if you look at it closely. But Cole doesn’t get a chance to look at it closely before he’s interrupted by “Big” Dave attacking the Space Cadets from behind, Venom manages to duck out of the way but the big man clotheslines Discovery so hard he’s thrown into the guardrails. When Ramone goes after Venom the Space Cadet climbs into the ring followed by Ramone only moments later. Ramone chases after Venom without realizing that Columbian Heat is still in the ring, a mistake that costs him dearly PELE KICK!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! The crowd comes alive as Columbian Heat puts his hands around his throat and then pretends to gasp for air. MICHAEL COLE He’s going for the necktie!! Heat quickly gets Ramone in position for the Columbian Necktie as Venom holds Ramone’s bodyguard off. When Heat drops Ramone with the Vertibreaker the crowd pop threatens to tear the roof off the building *WHAM!* HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! HEAT!! COACH What a sore looser! Heat leaps back to his feet and then does the Heat Shimmy as Gasolina (Remix) starts to play. Venom gives Heat a respectful bow but Heat wags his finger at the masked man, that’s not how we do it around here after all. Heat extends his hand for Venom to shake, once the masked Space Cadet takes it Heat quickly slips him some skin, then bumps his knuckles and raises Venom high in the air while pointing to him. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! After soaking up the crowd reaction for a moment Columbian Heat leaves with Venom and Discovery, he may have lost the match but he’s definitely not walking out as a loser in the eyes of the fans. COLE Colombian Heat has certainly endeared himself to these fans after that performance. COACH Sure, losers always flock to bigger losers. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, our main event is coming up. Chicks Over Dicks will defend the OAOAST Tag Team Titles right after the break! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 (edited) We're taken to the always stylish Michael Buffer, who's standing in the center of the ring with a microphone held to his lips. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is for the OAOAST world tag team titles, and it is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of thirty minutes! Introducing first the challengers.... The metallic opening of Cross That Line by Rick Ross fills the arena with an urban scented dread. As the audience murmurs with anticipation, the formerly bright lights delve into a troubling blue hue. Convict....Convict....Convict Up front Yeah.... Convict Music While the haunting piano melody heightens the tension in the venue, scenes of The South Central Militia's special brand of havoc blaze across the Angletron, showing the alarmed fans what type of savage aggression the men who are soon to arrive are capable of. Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that paper (paper) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line The colossal bass of Rick Ross' street anthem booms through the venue, heralding the arrival of the tag team title challengers. The entrance doors split apart, and jeers rise into the air as The South Central Militia steps through a cloud of smoke to take position on the entrance ramp. Wearing a pair of flared Red Monkey Jeans, decorated by a Chinese feudal map, and a black LRG throwback track jacket, Vincent Santana throws his arms out to his side, and unleashes a feral howl into the night sky. Blue and white lights glimmer beautifully across his sleek body as he releases his enormous rage upon the world. His partner, wearing Artful Dodge Jeans with a blue gothic pattern on the side, and a t-shirt boasting a giant symbol of a grenade, stands in solemn menace, intimidating any unlucky enough to meet his gaze. BUFFER Weighing in at a combined weight of 505 pounds, they hail from South Central Los Angeles, they are Vincent “Whitey” Santana, Marcellus “One-Eye” Wallacet hey are the SOUTH – CENTRAL – MILITIAAAAAAAAAAA!!! The spectators welcome the end of the introduction with more disdain for these sickening goons. Quite dissimilar to many teams, who usually don't pay attention to such disrespect from the audience, the natives of South Central dish out verbal trashing to each attendee they encounter until they reach the squared circle. They dive into the ring, and ascend to opposite turnbuckle where their fists pump into the air in defiant triumph. The camera rotates around their rebellious ritual, as the chilling blue lights continue to dance along the ringside area. COLE It's interesting, The South Central Militia beat the stuffing out of Jim Cornette last year because he never got them the tag title shot that he promised. A year later they still hadn't got their shot, until earlier this week when they simply asked Chicks Over Dicks for one. Alix and Krista, who will basically give a title shot to anyone no matter if they deserve it or not, obliged the request, and here we are today. COACH This is why I'm through with white women, Cole, because they're crazy. You can't go giving these niggas title matches all WILLY NILLY. You gotta have some order about this! The niggas out in these parts is wild, and if you keep putting your title on the line and it's only a matter of time before one of them takes it from you. Just you watch. The more you fight the more you lose. A red pyro waterfall illuminates the entrance stage, and all eyes lock onto the currently vacant entranceway. The sonic drum beats of Sugarcult's Los Angeles rip to life while the red waterfall is courted by a beautiful pink pyro fountain. Standing next to the gorgeous display of pyrotechnics are miniature Angletrons, showcasing COD's entrance video, a highlight reel filled with clips of their breathtaking moves, interspersed with fly through images of the City of Angels, and shots of the champions in various seductive poses. COACH My ears are about be destroyed. BOOOOOM!!! A violent explosion of gold pyro destroys the once docile pyrotechnics showing, and causes the capacity crowd to put forth a gargantuan cheer. As the smoke clears, Krista Isadora Duncan emerges through the hazy remnants of the fireworks. She sports a stomach exposing red Obey™ tank top that reads "Make Art. Not War" and a black open sided mini skirt that reveals her entire left leg, a show of skin that's always a crowd favourite! Her baby blue eyes cut a hole through her ring based rivals, while she strikes an alluring pose for the screaming audience. BUFFER And the cham......(a huge cheer rises from the stands, drowning out the announcer)....And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Amidst the resonating cries Alix Maria Spezia skips out through the entrance way in a white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest and white booty shorts. Although her fur wristbands, scarf, and leg warmers are fake, the excitement of the fans is very real as they watch her settle down long enough to join hands with Krista. Krista twirls Alix around, then pulls her into her arms. Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. Yes, I know I just copied that entrance from AP. I'm busy in the hustle, fuck you if you ain't know. COLE Both these teams hail from Los Angeles, but the similarities end right their. One group grew up on the one side of the tracks and is still struggling to pull themselves out of the violence filled slums, another team grew up in the lap of trendy Southern California luxury, and continues to reside their. But it's the team of the poor lower class that has drawn the hatred of the audience with their heinous actions over the course of their time in the OAOAST. Seeking to gain the upper hand before the girls get an opportunity to squash them like ghetto dwelling cockroaches, Vinny and Moe ambush the champions the moment they enter the ring, exploding clubbing forearms across their backs. Unfortunately for the brutish pair, their easily won advantage is handily stripped from them in a matter of seconds. The girls whirl around and simultaneously slash their hand across their assailant's faces. The sound of the open hand slaps wreaking havoc on on the SCM's' visages brings cheers to audience's throats and tears to the eyes of the challengers. Their situation turns even more deadly when Alix effortlessly dropkicks Santana to the outside. While he lays on the mats, grousing over his condition, his partner is left defenseless against the champions' whims. And what brutal whims they are! They tie One Eye into the ropes, leaving his body dangerously unprotected. He whimpers pitiful pleas for mercy, but his requests can hardly be heard over the shouts of the capacity crowd. Alix drops to all fours in the center of the ring, and Krissy takes off to the ropes to build momentum. When she reaches her better half, she leaps onto her bare back and uses it as a launching pad to catapault herself towards a weeping Wallace. She soars forward like a majestic gazelle before descending upon One Eye to carve up his face with her boot. The California native topples out of the ring, providing company to his partner's misery. Krista, who's having too much fun trouncing the witless pairing, follows them outside to inflict further pain. But before she continues her trouncing, she gives a treat to ring side fan holding a camera phone. She strikes several centerfoldesque poses for the would be photographer while flashes from other nearby cameras shower the area in a white glow. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COLE Fans, don't forget that the OAOAST has teamed up with Ebay, and The Tibetan Freedom Organization to bring you a brilliant charity auction, where you can win a chance to spend a day with Chicks Over Dicks. The winner will be announced on the February 15th edition of HeldDOWN! The lawbreakers try to acquire a moment of respite in the face of this unbridled trashing. But Krista permits them nary a second's rest, and the OAOAST's top model chucks Vinny back into the ring. Jelly legs raise him from the mat where he witnesses the usually cheery Alix creep towards him with a murderous glare. Fraught with fear, he begins to beg Alix to take pity on his mortal soul. But before the words can leave his lips, The Hollywood Bad Girl is flying towards him, arm out stretched with a high flipping lariat. The chocolate haired tornado impacts perfectly with his chest and sinks him to the canvas. Just as the pain begins to take hold of his body, Ally Cat brings him to his feet and tosses him into the ropes. He bounds back to her, narrowly avoiding her leaping sidekick, and charges to the opposite cables. Frustrated with his last avoidance, Alix uses her smooth as silk legs to try and decapitate him with a superkick upon his return. But Whitey is able to put the breaks on quickly enough to evade her death-dealing strike. This latest evasion leads to a strategy change for Ally, and she carts herself to the ropes to attempt another high flipping lariat. However, Santana stymies that plan by intercepting her return with a standing spinebuster. But Alix reacts with cat like reflexes, cinching her left arm around his head, and plummeting backwards to scatter what little brains sit in his head with a DDT! Alix celebrates the brain damage she's caused by standing up and striking the “Heisman” pose despite never having watched a game of college football in her life. COACH (frothing at the mouth) That's Princess Stacey to you, Cole! COLE What the hell? Once she's done doing her best Troy Smith impression, the lovely Miss Spezia hauls her battered and beaten foe to his BAPE shoes. She grabs him into an arm wrench, twisting his limb so roughly, you'd think she was about to pull it out it's socket. As she holds the tormented body part above her head, Alix engages in a round of sexy showboating, gyrating her slender hips, shaking her wabbit tail, and slithering up and down to the audience's immense pleasure. Vincent, however, is far too concerned with the white hot pain in his arm to notice that a hot babe is currently jiggling and wiggling her assets in front of his very eyes. What doesn't escape his notice is Alix letting go of his arm, and trapping him into a front facelock. Alarm bells shriek inside of Vinny's head at the thought of enduring another concussion inducing DDT. Thus the panicky thug, places his hands onto Al's bare stomach and roughly shoves her away. Before she can even make an effort to reacquire the front face lock, the so called baddest man in Los Angeles, is directing a spear towards the so called baddest woman in Los Angeles. But Alix leap frogs her incoming attacker, causing him to blindly charge into an unknown abyss. Unlike Vincent, Wallace is keenly aware of his ring position, and extends his hand forward for a blind tag when White nears. While his out of control partner nearly runs himself out the ring, Wallace makes a graceful entry, lobbing his gloved hand towards Alix's face. But Ally avoids his attacks, and counters with a blow of her own, dropping to the mat, and slicing her legs into his Artful Dodger jeans. Her blow knocks One Eye totally off balance, and upends him from his lime green Nike shoes. Wallace drowns into the canvas, his dark eyes momentarily blinded by the flickering ceiling lights. The brightness of the lights is quickly engulfed by the harrowing darkness of Alix's fur covered boots descending upon his face. Acting out of supernatural speed, Moe rolls away from her double stomp. Obviously she lands on her feet, and with a devilish gaze still set on One Eye, she's in the perfect position to strike him down with a ruthless attack. As he begins to rise to his feet, she moves in for the kill. Her right foot uses his left leg as a launching pad to shoot her into the air. Her other foot extends forward like a bullet, ready to tear through his face. But he avoids the volley, by lowering his head, causing her once deathly move to sail harmlessly past. His blinged out teeth flash a sly smile at his avoidance. But this smile is turned into a grimace of sheer pain the second Alix slams her foot into the back of his head! The force of the strike timbers a howling One Eye to the canvas, where Alix immediately leaps on him for a pin. Ubiquitous referee Charles Robinson scores the fall.... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO One Eye kicks out in a most authoritative fashion, using his strength to fling Ally Cat several inches into the air. Despite this show of power, he's apparently in no mood to deal with the brunette beauty, and rolls to his corner to bring his associate back into the affair. COACH (frothing at the mouth) That's Princess Stacey to you, Cole! COLE Damn it, Coachman! While Mikey contemplates shooting his broadcast colleague, Alix marks Vincent's entry into the contest with a corner splash. But Santana counters the strike by latching onto her twiggy waist and dropping backwards to give her face first plunge into the poorly padded top turnbuckle. He doesn't present her a single moment to lick her wounds, and pulls off the posts by her luscious hair. The spunky Californian heroically attempts to battle against her aggressor with a pair of elbows. But he locks her down with a standing underhook that's much too tight to break through. He then fires a trio of barbarous knees into Alix's well toned stomach, that have her whimpering and gasping for air. Eventually, he lays that act to rest and moves into the grand finale by picking Ally up and implanting her into the mat with an underhook suplex. He follows that simple but effective hold with a lateral press. ONE TWO Alix scrapes her shoulder off the mat, letting the crowd breathe a sigh of relief. Perceiving that to have been a slow count, Whitey Ford gives an earful to the ref as he pulls Alix to her feet. Sadly for him, his short debate with the official gave Alix the distraction she needed to break away from his clutches She puts her new found freedom to excellent use, directing a calvary of elbows towards his goateed face. The rapier sharp blows dance across his orbital socket, turning his eye a shade of crimson and dribbling blood from it's corner. Leaving Vincent to attend to an eye that's rapidly swelling shut, the cute Californian speeds towards the ring ropes. The orange cables spit her back towards her foe with her head lowered into a battering ram. But Vinny manages to avoid being skewered by her cranium by leap frogging into the air. This avoidance doesn't get him totally out of the woods, however, and Alix runs the opposite ropes, still dead set on puncturing his stomach with her skull. Acting on sheer desperation, Santana drops down to his chest, praying that she'll trip over his lanky frame on her return. But Alix calls on a technique she learned in sixth grade gymnastics, and gracefully cartwheels over his sprawled out body. Whitey Ford pulls himself to his feet, where he plans on flooring Alix with a lariat. Problematically, Alix is nowhere near him, having instead taken position on the ring apron. Whitey foolishly charges her, lowering his broad shoulder in order to knock her into the laps of his amigos at the Spanish announce table. Ally Cat evades the deadly trip to the outside by slingshotting herself into the ring and landing onto the second rope. The brawler tries to swat her away like a common house fly, but she avoids the strike with bewitching ease, back flipping herself towards the center of the ring. Outraged and dizzied by Ally's impressive speed, Vince darts towards her, employing an elbow strike in his quest to blast her off the face of the earth. “WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH!” Alix “Ol Dirty Bastard” Spezia screams before she uses her faux-fur covered boots to obliterate an oncoming Vince's nose with a dropsault. While Vincent suffers through a hellish plummet to the mat, Alix lands with the divine grace of an angel dropped from the heavens above. To toast to her trumping of the hooligan, the white, upper class, near middle aged female throws up the Wu-Tang hand signal, and the predominantly white middle aged male, lower middle class audience eagerly returns the gesture. While her fellow Shaolin Monks chant her name, the new Ghostface Killa attempts her team's first pin fall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent kicks out of the pinning predicament, coughing up a wad of fur as he does so. Bored with thrashing the luckless pair from South Central, Alix decides to let Krista in on the fun. Thus she moonwalks to her corner and makes the tag to her surly partner. The arrival of Miss California into the fray earns the usual enormous ovation from the onlookers. However, Krista has little reason to cheer, due to the fact that Vince slams his massive fist into her jaw the moment she enters the ring. The fist the size of a football smacks her again, and she teeters off balance, only being held up by her grip of the cables. Wham, he smacks her with the left. Wham, he smacks her with the right. The ex-convict rears back and swings once again. This time, Krista has the good sense to duck the agony inducing blow. The ruffian's hand crashes into the ringpost, sending aggravating vibrations up his arm. Krista recomposes herself quickly in order to take advantage of the rapidly closing window of opportunity. In a single fluid motion, the fitness queen jabs her elbow into the man's kidney. Except somehow, miraculously, Vincent grabs her wrist with his uninjured hand and stops her thrust shortly before it can tear into his rough skin. He then takes his tremoring hand and stabs it straight into her shoulder blades, generating a deep throated scream of anguish from Miss California. The South Central warrior chuckles to himself, pulls his hand back then thrusts forward again. Somehow, Krista is able to dodge the incoming bomb. The momentum of the blow carries Vincent into the corner, where Krissy promptly proceeds to shred his skin with flesh searing knife edge chops. But after the sixth strike lands, Vincent angrily rips Krista's attacking hand away from his chest. He places a savagely tight grip on her fingers, laughing to himself while he watches her cry out in misery. He adds on to her incredible pain, by swinging his knee into her ample chest. Krista feels a rib crack, then gasps for the air that's suddenly deserted her. Whitey swings again and does an inordinate amount of damage to her other rib. A third swing, then a fourth, and a fifth, and Krissy staggers backwards to the center of the ring. COLE Here we witness the SCM, well, mostly Vincent, using his brawling ability to simply overpower the much smaller Krista. If they're serious about winning these tag team titles, then this is the strategy they have to employ. As sweat sprinkles down her reddened face, her blue eyes spot the fearsome sight of her foe looming towards her. All at once the mammoth's hands wrap around her throat. They dangerously tighten, digging into her tanned skin, and nearly stopping her from breathing. She scans the ring, frantically searching for any weapon she can use in her war against the delinquent wrestler. Perhaps if this was a hardcore match, there'd be plunder to unearth. But it's just a regular ass contest, and Krista, simply put, is fucked. Unable to accept the fact that she's about to lose this contest by strangulation, Kris makes an admirable effort to pry his death grip away. Santana counters this attempt by simply bulldozing her back into the turnbuckles. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” bleat the audience, led on by Alix. COLE Shouldn't Robinson be doing something right about now? Like, say, disqualifying Vincent for use of an illegal chokehold? COACH Robinson's refereeing has been the abomination of the tag team division for the past month, and I consider it a shame and a disgrace that he's even allowed to work anything but dark matches. Miss California somehow finds the strength to drive her boot into his knee. Whitey grimaces and attempts to step back, his hands still locked onto Krissy's throat. The sudden movement takes Kris away from the corner, but loosens the grip just enough that she's able to step onto the second rope. With blazingly fast speed, she tosses herself off her post and rakes her nails across Vinny's eyes! The unusual usage of the ropes scores a large cheer from the capacity crowd, but more importantly it finally rids Krista of the vexatious chokehold. The man screams and staggers, wildly clawing at his burning eyes. Krissy hops to her snowboots, then slams those same shoes into his meaty chest with a crowd popping dropkick that drives him to the middle of the ring. With one hand nursing his wounded pecs, Vinny uses his free arm to fend off Krissy with sloppy forearm strikes. She responds with a forearm smash of her own, but Whitey Ford uses his chunky arm to shield himself from the blow. Caught momentarily off balance by the deflection, she is unable to prevent him from hip tossing her over. But she recovers mid move and gracefully rolls through, landing on her knees in the SCM corner. COACH Love for my thugs, but that was a lazy move right there. You're a heavyweight so use heavyweight moves, don't be fooling around, hip tossing people like you're a middleweight. If you got power, then, dawg, you gotta use it. The SoCal babe springs to her feet and deals a bemused Santana a vexing blow by once again jamming her fingers into his bronze eyes. As the fans cheer her underhanded tactic, Krista begins to turn her attention towards the long forgotten Wallace. However Vinny is unwilling to let bygones be bygones, and despite his near blindness, he manages to accost the femme fatale with a full nelson. With Krista held in a prone position by his comrade, One-Eye enters the squared circle and charges forward to exact a measure of revenge on their rival. Yet Krista counters his attack by bending her body forward, leaving One-Eye's lariat to mow down his battered compatriot! “YEAAAAAH!” Krissy acts on her deep rooted hatred for all heterosexual men by needlessly pumping her boot into Wallace's “frank and beans”! Shortly thereafter he's cursed with an even more miserable brand of hurt when Alix darts from her corner and caves in his chest with a dropsault! The tremendous force of the blow sends a screaming Wallace plunging backwards, where his sizable posterior lands squarely on his mortified partner's face. This is most certainly not an enviable position for Vince, considering that Wallace hasn't change his underwear in two weeks. While Vinny bemoans his partner's rancid stench, the girls celebrate their total thumping of their buffoonish challengers. Krista offers Alix exaggerated and overly theatric praise for her prowess and Alix feigns purposely over acted modesty, refusing to accept the compliments. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COACH Once Vinny gets done tossing Moe's salad we can continue this contest, until then, let's get some of that sweet ad revenue. (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) We return to in ring action with Wallace foisting Ally into the sky with a vertical suplex. After a six second delay he dives backwards crunching her bones into the canvas. He then floats over into a lateral press, which Robinson quickly scores... ONE TWO Alix kicks out, and clambers away through the gap between both their bodies. She hops upright, ready to lock horns with the gangbanger. But he takes off in the opposite direction, bouncing off the ropes. His urban flavored footwear move his clotheslining body back towards the champion. But that attack fails to land thanks to Alix taking hold of his attacking arm. His dark face goes white with fear, as he wonders what hellish technique she has in store for him. She answers that question by bending his out of balance body back, and slamming his spine across her knee. While his yells drench the air in fright, she lifts him up, and drives him forward, gruesomely impacting his gut onto her other leg. Alix finally completes her theatre of pain by crashing him downwards with the True Life: I Just got beat up by a girl (STO)! As the audience cheers on her trademark move, she attempts a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Before the referee's hand can strike the mat for a second time, Wallace powers his body out of the pinfall and rolls onto his flabby stomach. He pushes himself to his feet where he is met with a sharp knee to the his protruding gut from his rival. She scrambles to the ropes, then pounces across the ring to hit her doubled over enemy with a kick to the chest. The tremendous force of the blow rockets his body upward, and heaves a wad of spit from his mouth. As One Eye staggers groggily, she makes another trip to the cables. But her return is far less fruitful then previous efforts, and Wallace overtakes her with a belly to belly suplex! However, Alix shifts her body in midair and manages to land on her feet to the audience's delight. Wallace is disheartened by her counter, and the emotional windfall causes him to offer a pedestrian Irish whip as his next offensive move. However the champion easily reverses the hold. Before he can run the ropes Alix catches his left arm, and uses it to whirl One Eye in front of her. With the raucous crowd singing her name, Miss Spezia clutches onto his neck, then cranks it with a swinging neckbreaker! Leaving the man to moan in misery, she takes off to the cables, preparing to return with a running shooting star press. Yet Wallace has other ideas within the twisted recess of his mind. Betraying the hurt in his neck, he springs up when Alix is only a few inches away from him. Thanks to the short distance separating them, she isn't able to offer an offensive move, and instead can only brace herself for the impact of his spinebuster! The savage ending of the slam rocks the ring to it's very core. While the audience boos his hold, he pulls Alix up by her aching head. He lands a few well placed elbows to the small of her back to keep the plucky lass under control while he drags her to his corner. A tag is then applied to the detestable shitkicker Vincent Santana. COLE While the Militia switches out, let me remind our fans in Ottawa, Albuquerque, Baltimore, and Cleveland, that we will be visiting your area for live events within the month of February, and tickets still remain! Alix rises to her feet, to face the entering brute. But the beast comes at her so fast, that she has little time to defend herself before she's rammed into turnbuckles behind her. The ropes shake from the impact of the collision and a distressed whimper leaves her lips. The criminal's hot breath blasts in her face, and his bloodthirty growl thunders in her ears as he closes in. Drool drips from his lips in anticipation of lighting her up with fierce strikes. But Alix refuses to grant him the chance to act on these desires. In one fluid motion she scales up to the second turnbuckle, then flies off, and hooks onto his extended left arm. She twirls around, violently jerking his limb, then slamming it into the mat with a tornado single arm ddt! He quickly rises, ready to belt Alix into the tenth row with a crazed haymaker. But the California cutie once again stymies his plans, doing further damage to his arm with a crowd popping single arm DDT. Vincent once again makes the mistake of jumping straight to his feet, and his chin pays the harsh price for his folly as Alix pounds a dropsault into it. She lands beautifully on her feet, while he suffers through a disastrous dive into the floor. COLE Vincent Santana getting single armed ddt'ed, and dropsaulted, and he doesn't look any worse for the wear. Although, his partner doesn't look that concerned with his plight. COACH I think Marcellus Wallace cares more about his white chocolate prince's feelings then you'd expect. Alix strolls over to her corner and makes the tag to Krista, who sarcastically mouthes the word “Thanks”. Why the sarcasm? Because the bullish ruffian is on his feet, with fire blazing from his horns. Needless to say, Krissy isn't overly tickled at the prospects of trying to tame this ferocious beast. She holds her hands in front of her body, palms first, while frantically imploring Santana to ”settle down, dude!” To absolutely no one's surprise Vinny doesn't grant Kris' request, deciding instead to try and knock her out of the ring with a shoulder tackle! The shot knocks Krista flat on her back, drawing concerned gasps from several teenage girls in the front row. Against her usually sound judgment, the pride of HelLA jumps to her feet, only to get belted with another shoulder tackle! Grolwing with feral tenacity, Vinny takes a chunk of her lush hair and drags her to her feet. After pelting her sweat drenched forehead with two closed fists, he hurls her across the ring with an Irish whip. On her return she attempts to go on the offensive by firing a flying forearm at her enemy. Somehow the snarling rottweiler is able to catch onto her attacking arm and then take her into an urange backbreaker. But as soon he plants her in front of his body, the delicious bombshell wraps her lovely legs around his torso, and vacuums him into a rollup. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent shoots his shoulder off the canvas well before the referee can reach three. He springs to his feet, where he directs a harmful lariat towards hisopponent. However the remarkably quick diva denies herself a visit to the emergency room, by avoiding the move and spinning behind Santana to hook him into a waistlock! What Krista plans on doing with a waistlock applied on a man who weighs several hundred pounds more then her is beyond the audience's comprehension. In fact, it's beyond even her comprehension. Thus she gives up on playing the David to his Goliath, and shifts to a much simpler inverted facelock. She violently hauls him downward with an inverted DDT that forces a pained yelp from his throat. KID pays no heed to his frantic cries, and rolls him upright with the inverted facelock still attached. She dives forward, clattering his lanky frame to the mat with a second inverted DDT. While the spectators sing her name, she brings herself and her foe to their feet for a third and final inverted DDT. But Vincent mounts a stringent defense, snapping his knee into the side of her head. The attack has immediate effects on Krista, and causes her grip to loosen. Whitey Ford offers a second knee to her cheek, and the hold further weakens. The third strike turns out to be a charm and her grasp is shattered altogether. Finally free of her clutches, Vincent retries his failed lariat attempt. Already having to deal with a serious migraine, Kris has no chance of countering Santana's latest lariat, and finds herself bowled over by the lunge. COACH Vinny's moves ain't nothing pretty, but if he hits 'em in the right place, then they get the job done. Whitey Ford starts to lift Krissy off the canvas, and quickly finds his clothesline didn't do nearly the amount of the damage he thought it did, as Krista starts winging boisterous elbows deep into his ribs! The rougneck makes a valiant attempt to strike back, but KID hits him often enough to keep him off balance. She pulls herself fully upright, then swings behind her lumbering rival and secures an inverted facelock. More DDTs? Not if Vinny has anything to say about it! A succession of knee strikes breaks the hold and snuffs out all hope of for the maneuverer. Once again free from Krista's grasp, Vincent spins around with the intention of breaking her nose with a forearm smash. But his attacking limb never even gets near her face, as Krista sinks to the mat and topples the Militia member with a drop toe hold! The rock solid canvas pierces into his face, and he shrieks in agony. Krista curses him with even more anguish when she pulls him into a pinning predicament with an Oklahoma roll! Robinson hits the mat to count the pinning situation. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent pulls his shoulder off the mat at the last possible second, drawing a number of jeers from the crowd. For some completely insane reason, Marcellus Wallace has decided to try his luck against KID's surging momentum. He storms into the ring, wishing to catch her off guard as she heads upright. But private school educated Krista is much too smart to fall for public school educated Wallace's lamebrained schemes, and greets his charge by horsewhipping his face with a ghastly spin kick! The repulsive sound of Krista's shoe obliterating the bone structure in the man's face brings forth a round of applause from the bloodlusting heathens in attendance. Vincent, now recovered form his earlier mistreatment, tries to do what his partner failed to accomplish, and best this vexing vixen. But the second he stands up, a pair of knee strikes are stabbed into his midsection. Krista cinches in a front facelock and grabs a wad of his jeans, as she prepares to annihilate his brain matter with an Implant DDT. But Santana uses his overwhelming strength to shove the femme fatale away from him. While she struggles to stay on her feet he pivots on his left foot and whirls around to unleash a viscous discus punch. However, Krista delays the move indefinitely by thrusting her boot into his midsection! Then she locks him down with a front underhook. She doesn't even afford him a nanosecond to mount an escape, as she leaps backwards driving his already aching head into the mat with a Double Arm DDT! With a quizzical look resting on her face, Miss California turns to the audience and asks in mock seriousness “Can a bitch get a hand clap?” Not only can a bitch get a hand clap but a bitch can also get a chant of “K-I-D! K-I-D!” The better question is can a bitch get a successful title defense? We're about to see as Krista goes for a pinfall! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO A recovered Wallace grabs a fistful of Krista's hair and pulls her off his associate. Unfortunately for him, Krista is beyond outraged that he would dare to lay his grubby mits on her dazzling sun colored locks. Seething with raw anger, she takes her disgust out on his ugly face, slicing it apart with twriling savate kicks! The ferocity of her blows manage to push One-Eye across the squared circle and to the ropes. She glowers balefully at him, before piercing her boots into his chocolate skin with a spinning wheel kick! The strength of the crowd pleasing volley tosses One Eye overboard, and to the black ringside mats bellow. Thankfully for his squad, he manages to land on his feet, much to the disturbance of the chaos hungry crowd. In a rare show of intelligence, he doesn't bother to step back into the ring with the crazed champion, choosing instead to stay on the outside and catch a much needed breath. COLE I think Krista could win this match all by herself! Vinny obviously lacks the good sense of his partner, and charges towards the champion, coming fast and furious with a forearm smash. But Krista encounters little trouble in dealing with her maniacal challenger, grabbing onto the the top rope, and jerking it downward when he nears in order capsize him out of the squared circle. Her hope was that he would be forced to tolerate a horrific (but comedic) crash landing to the outside floor. But Whitey simply splatters his thin body across the ring apron. That's not a problem for Krista, who reaches between the ropes to grab him by the rat's nest of black hair on his head. She drags the dizzied pugilist into the ring and wraps her hands around him in a front face lock. She tightens her grip, making sure her forthcoming DDT will be executed to it's most deadly precision. Unfortunately she soon learns the best laid plans of mice and lipstick butch lesbians often go awry, for Wallace, seeing a golden opportunity to turn the tides of fate to his team's favor, grabs onto Krista's right boot. The sudden tug on her foot causes her to lose all balance, and she teeters backwards, her grasp on Vinny quickly evaporating. Santana feels her hold loosen, and immediately works the abrupt change to his advantage, shifting his frame so that he leans into her stomach. When Wallace sees that his comrade is in perfect position, he lays his master plan to work and yanks her foot off the canvas, tipping her backwards to the mat! Vincent is forced to follow her downwards, but adjusts his body in midfall so that he lands on her in a lateral press! Charles Robinson, oblivious to the SCM's shenanigans, secures his title as the OAOAST's worst referee and actually counts the pin. Wallace makes sure that Krista has zero chance to kick out by pressing his upperbody onto both of her feet..... ONE COLE Robinson, pay attention, you goof! TWO ALIX COMES IN TO BREAK UP THE FALL! THREE! Wondering if the save was made it in time, a distressed Ally Cat looks to the official for the crucial answer. She gets her reply when the referee strolls towards the time keeper and orders him to the ring the bell! A distraught Alix sinks her face into mat, and furiously pounds her fist into surface in sheer disbelief. DING DING DING COLE No, no, no, no, no! That didn't just happen! No it didn't! The official announcement does absolutely nothing to assuage Cole and the audience's greatest fears. .. BUFFER The winner and new tag team champions......The South...Central Militia? The audience is just as confused as the ring announcer, but are far more vocal with their disgust for the disgraceful outcome. COLE Motherfuckers! COACH Michael! COLE Those motherfuckers! One of them worked as a pimp and the other was a drug dealer! And now they're tag team champions! And they cheated! They cheated, in the most obvious way you can possibly cheat! Marcellus Wallace was lying on top of Krista's legs, how does a known racist like Charles Robinson not see a six foot seven black man on a white woman's legs! A white woman who is the partner of a half Mexican woman! COACH Why you gotta get racial in this piece?! Why can't a black man and a white man just get they shine on together without it being something about race? And since when is Charles Robinson a known racist? Man, you're talking some wrong words tonight. Slow ya roll, soldier. And isn't Alix Italian? The crowd, many of whom are on their fourth and fifth beers, spew out an enraged procession of vulgarities. Most chant bullshit, while others scream insults and threats towards Robinson and the SCM that even I wouldn't dare to type. Fans in the front row implore the referee to watch a replay, to see that the Militia won the match by improper means. But C-Rob remains unmoved by their requests, and hands the titles over to the new champions. This gesture only further serves to inflame the fiery rage that's taken hold of the arena. The new champs, however, celebrate their ridiculous victory by doing the even more ridiculous "finger snap" dance made popular by Lil Jon. So thrilled by their “victory”, they even enlist Charles Robinson in their hip hop inspired dance routine. Krista, as you can no doubt imagine, is slightly less then pleased with the outcome. She devotes her energy to threatening to carve out of the official's vital organs in alphabetical order, and feed them to her dog while she makes his family watch. COLE Unbelievable. What a load of crap. You can hook someone's tights, or put your foot on the ropes and kind of get away with it. But this was an elaborate two minute cheating routine, that only Stevie Wonder wouldn't have noticed. These two men are nothing but uneducated, boorish, violence prone goons. They hardly have any actual wrestling training and have no right to ever hold any OAOAST title. COACH This title win ain't for you it's for the streets. All the young bloods in hood are gonna see this and they're gonna realize they don't gotta be in the trap dealin dope, or pimpin' hoes, or shooting each other up to get by. They can make it in this world by honest means. COLE That's just it, the SCM didn't win by honest means The mood of the crowd changes from violent anger to just plain hostile when they witness OAOAST authority figure Anglesault make his way onto the entrance stage. Unlike the audience, The SCM aren't exactly thrilled to behold the former OAOAST world champion. They watch with great anxiety, as he prepares to address the troubling situation. ANGLESAULT It would seem we have a bit of problem that needs solving... “No shit, Pythagoreaus!” Krista screams. ANGLESAULT I know what you all want me to do. You want me to exercise my authority, overrule The South Central Militia victory, and restart the match so you can witness the good girls win the good fight. Well, it troubles me to be the bearer of such horrible news. But the problem is, your's is a wish even the great and powerful Anglesault can not grant. Unfortunately, the highly complex rules of the tag division state that in a title match, the referee's decision is final. “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” holler the audience. ANGLESAULT Hey, I wish it was, because I don't like the result any more then you do. As the man who's responsible for the welfare of this company it pains me more then anyone to have to say this,but the ruling will not be overturned. The South Central Militia are the new OAOAST tag team champions! “BOOOOOO!” scream the fans, while the relieved SCM celebrate their boss' ruling by resuming their finger snapping dance. “Okay, time for this asshole to die.” Krista mutters as she starts to step through the ropes to get at her annoying employer. ANGLESAULT Now, now. Before everyone starts hurling garbage my way, and you all start calling for my freshly decapitated head and a resignation letter signed in my blood, give me a chance to finish. I definitely don't think it's fair that the titles changed hands under such dubious circumstances. And, while I can't overturn the ref's decision, I'm the boss in this town, and I can sure as hell do everything in my power to make sure those titles go back where they belong! Alix and Krista, how would you ladies like a rematch for the most coveted prize in all of tag team wrestling? KRISTA No. No we don't want a rematch. We're perfectly happy with being cheated by Markie Mark, and this Doug E. Doug looking Cool Runnings reject he calls a partner. Of course we want a rematch, you douche! Now be a good thirty five year old shut in virgin and give it to us! ANGLESAULT Then let's do it right here tonight! In fact let's do it right now! The audience spews forth a thunderous ovation for AS' ruling. Krista, who can't be satisfied with anything done by a white Christian heterosexual male, just smirks slightly. Alix, who stopped paying attention to the ordeal long ago, is too focused on her intense game of Barbie in the city on her cell phone to care. The Ying-Yang twins abruptly cut short their dance party, and react to the ruling by shouting bestial threats on the boss' life. Vincent leans over the ropes and challenges the OAOAST legend to a street fight, which certainly peaks the audience's excitement. One Eye takes up the role of advocate for his team and demands that Robinson interject himself into this travesty. Charles replies that if he had known of the SCM's wicked ways, he never would've allowed their tag title victory to count. COLE Folks, when we come back the tag titles are on the line. Again! (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN, where The South Central Militia have just started their first tag title defense against the former champions Chicks Over Dicks. Your ears aren't playing tricks on you, The South Central Militia, cheated, scammed, and tricked their way to a tag title victory. This is not a dream. If it was I'd be sitting next to a young Sean Connery, when he's wearing nothing but a wink and a smile. COACH I don't see why Krista was so upset. If you let anyone take a shot at your belts, then anything can happen. Did I not say just letting random people have title matches with you was a bad idea? I swear I did say that. I would think Alix would've learned this from her 24/7 title fiasco, but I doubt she can remember anything past last week. In the ring, Wallace finds himself under fire from a swarm of rapid fire kicks from Ally Cat. Unable to defend himself from the fast moving blows he's helplessly backed into the corner. She follows him in, providing him with not a moment's rest. After tossing a kiss to a little boy in the front row, she whips the current champion across the ring. But midway through the move, One Eye reverses it and throws her to the turnbuckles. Annoying the SCM to no end, she evades a gruesome collision with the steel turnbuckle by pressing her hands onto the top rope and springing backwards. However the agile counter does not come without it's pitfalls, as Wallace hooks onto her tan and toned legs and throws her forward, making an attempt to imprint her features onto the corner posts. But as she sails through the air, she puts her hands in front of her face to avoid a grizzly introduction with the ringposts. Unfortunately her left knee wasn't as lucky as her facial features, and twists it disgustingly as her feet plant into the mat. Despite her best efforts to do so, her grimacing face can't mask the intense pain besieging her left leg. Wallace detects his rival's afflicted state and stalks the brunette as she clumsily hobbles about the squared circle. He closes in on his victim, huffing and puffing like a psychotic wolf. He wraps Alix arm around his head, ties his arms around her slender waist, then foists the challenger high into the sky. He delays his move for about eleven seconds, lending Alix time to contemplate the grievous error she and her gal-pal committed in angering the SCM. After the clock ticks twelve, he slams Alix's left leg across his outstretched knee with a knee breaker. While the crowd tries to rally the adored babyface, One Eye grabs onto her left leg and holds it horizontal to the mat. Showing technique that betrays his stupefying lack of wrestling ability, Marcellus then drapes his right leg across Alix's left. Finally he drops down and beautifully impacts her leg into the floor! The tormented crowd favorite screams into the night, drawing tears from many a young fan, and putting a devious grin on One Eye's face COACH The champs pulling out a new moves from their bags of tricks! COLE Oh please. COACH That's Princess Stacy to you, Cole! Marcellus elevates a grounded Alix's burdened left leg, then swiftly buries an elbow into the sore part of her inner knee. Alix pulls her sweat soaked upper body off the mat, howling in chilling agony. The expert camera work gets a telling shot of a twelve year old girl crying as she watches her heroine get brutalized by this hooligan. Looking to inflict even more harm upon the perfectly sculpted sculpted body of Alix Spezia, One Eye conjures up the makings of a figure four leg lock. But during the pivotal part, where he has to turn his back to Alix the challenger stuns him by using her good leg to shove him into the turnbuckles nearest the COD corner! The fans explode with cheers as Wallace endures a freight train worthy collision with the ring posts. The dazed warrior staggers out of the corner and takes himself into a school boy by Alix! The referee makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO One Eye turns a defensive kickout into a clever offensive attack, pressing his sweaty palms onto Alix sweet tushy and pushing her towards the very same turnbuckle he was so rudely introduced to seconds ago! As bad as his crash may have been, Alix's is ten times more repugnant: The alluring lass trips over her own wrestling boots and impales her shoulder on the callous metal ringpost! The impact is so appalling that even Vincent has to join with the onlookers in shuddering at the head on hit. Moe has little time to admire his violent handiwork, though, and scrapes Alix's carcass away from the accident scene. He then hurls her into the cables, causing a sharp pain to her badly bruised arm. Thankfully, she's able to brush aside the anguish in her shoulder long enough to return to her enemy with a magnificent crossbody block! But One Eye catches her within his broad wingspan and proceeds to propel her overhead with a fallaway slam! But Alix avoids injurious disaster by landing perfectly on her fuzzy boots. She moves with great speed and dashes towards the champion, who greets her incoming charge with a big boot. But she ducks below his volley and carries herself to a vacant corner. As camera flashes litter the tightly packed venue, she escalates to the top turnbuckle and slings herself off with a beautiful flying back elbow! Yet Wallace has enough sense and speed to sidestep the nose-diving grappler. And as an unfortunate result Alix hits the mat with a massive impact, music to the ears of those in the SCM camp. Marcellus crawls over to Ally and hooks her legs for a cover. ONE Alix's left shoulder clears the mat just enough to end the pinfall, earning a grand response from the fans. The failure to secure victory for his squad prompts One Eye to make a begrudging tag to Vincent Santana. Whitey enters the squared circle and concocts a brilliant double team scheme with his long time associate. They pick Alix up by her arms and send her wobbly legs trotting to the ropes. When she returns the vile tribe enclose their hands around her sleek waist and flip her into the sky. They each take a kneeling position and smile sadistically as poor Alix endures a terrible stomach first meeting with their knees. Her piercing shrieks degenerate Krista into a nervous wreck and have her calling for the referee's and the SCM's heads on a silver platter. Vincent pays her threats no mind, as he covers Alix for another pinfall. ONE TWO The Hollywood Bad Girl rolls her shoulder off the mat, leading the crowd to cheer her resiliency. Vinny is far less thrilled with her toughness then the fans and punishes Alix for her vigor with savage stomps. As his boots hammer her skull, he turns to her seething partner, and callously invites her to come rescue the damsel in distress. Krista's temper flares murderously and she eagerly accepts the challenge, stepping into the ring to the crowd's immense pleasure. However the bothersome official steadfastly blocks her entry, leaving Vinny to chuckle with wicked delight. Krista is forced to use what little patience is contained within her body to restrain herself from choking Robinson half to death, and sullenly returns to her position on the apron. Meanwhile, a bone weary Alix begins slogging her way to the ropes to make a much needed tag. But Vincent halts her advance by pouncing upon her and driving his knees into her already bruised ribcage. Alix grits her teeth tightly, nearly grinding them into dust as she tries to cope with the searing pain her foe has left her under Problematically, he continues to bring the hurt to her world by locking her into a destructive sleeper hold. Showing an utter lack of class, he taunts her with a round of vulgar putdowns and sexual themed threats. But his crass insults are soon drowned out by the raucous crowd who fill the venue with chants of “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Vincent only snickers at the audience's futile effort to rally their heroine, and turns his body to the side so that he may lock his legs around Alix's thin frame with a body scissors. Alix does her best to fight through unmercifully painful hold, squirming and wiggling her way through her tormentor's perilous grip. Over in the COD corner, stress plays on Krista's normally beauteous facial features as she pleads with her girlfriend to mount some kind of counter attack. COACH Alix is out of it, Mikey! And if the Militia win it the good old fashion way, you have to give them their due props, man. The crowd is unwilling to admit Alix's defeat, and continues to bleat her name “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Drawing strength on the support shown by Krista and the fans, Alix makes a great effort to fight past the considerable duress she's under. She rolls onto her stomach and digs her nails into the mat as she prepares to undertake the precarious task of journeying to her corner. But with a two hundred plus pound ex-convict attached to her back like a tumor this will certainly be no walk in the park. With each passing moment the exhaustion grows fatally worse, but with each passing moment she also gets slightly closer to Krista. Every member of the audience is on their feet, proudly rooting on Alix as she continues her arduous trek. Vinny tightens his body scissors as much as strength will allow, making every last effort to squeeze the life out of her little body. But Alix stays strong, determined to complete her mission despite the fact that a dangerous blackness is rapidly closing in on her. She nears her corner and weakly reaches out to accept the salvation offered by Krista's trembling hand. The capacity crowd blows the roof off the arena the second the tag is made with a round “KRISTA! KRISTA!” chants. COACH I can't believe she actually made it to Krista! KID enters the ring and is promptly assaulted by a lariat from Marcellus Wallace. She ducks below the only move he actually knows, and uses her momentum to push herself off the ropes. Unaware of the location of his hyperactive opponent, a confused Wallace turns around to get a bead on her. But instead of getting a bead, he gets his nose shifted three inches to the left with a yakuza kick! Adding insult to his sizable injury, Krista mocks Wallace for the fact that he looks suspiciously like Cool Runnings star Doug E Doug by doing a Rasta dance and singing the theme song that same Disney movie. “Bobseligh, bobsleigh, we are the Jamaican bobsleigh team!” Thinking her distracted by using his ally as a verbal punching bag, Vincent suspects that he can surprise her with a basic clubbing forearm. But Miss California whirls around and defeats his simple plan with a thunderous spin kick that knocks him off his feet. She then turns her fiery rage back toward Wallace, who's trying to beat a hasty retreat. Krista shuts down all his escape routes by grabbing onto his arm and Irish whipping him into the corner. But he shifts his bodyweight midmove and reverses the hold, “blessing” Krista with the back first crunch into the steel turnbuckles. One Eye takes advantage of her moment of weakness by charging towards her, looking to flatten her with a body splash. But the only thing that gets flatten in this exchange is his pectoral muscles as Miss California dives out of the way, leaving him to violently smash into the posts. Krista's wonderful counter barely has a second to register in the fans' minds before they see her getting flap jacked into the sky by Vincent. But Krista uses her cat like agility to turn the tables on the brawler, by slicing her long tan legs across his neck with a leg lariat! The audience discharges a boisterous pop in response to her series of reversals. Never one to pass up a moment to humiliate a member of the male gender Krista mocks the SCM by signing their entrance music to the cheering audience “If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya, I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga, and we all for that paper!” COLE Krista all about that hyphy west coast flow! Powered by a conviction to silence his musical challenger, One Eye makes one last charge towards the woman. However, Krista latches onto his arm, then bends backwards, bringing him into the air with a Japanese arm drag. He lands with a reverberant impact on his associate's stomach, causing both men to emit a series of pain soaked squeals Ever the vain one, Krista plays to the crowd and to her own beauty, by fluffing her luscious golden tresses above her victimized rivals. Once she's done showcasing her Loreal worthy hair, she runs to the ropes, cartwheels back, and hits a devastating elbow that lands with perfect brutality on One Eye's sternum. She then hooks his leg for a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The champion forcefully kicks out of the pin attempt, then rolls away from his feisty enemy, seeking to put an extreme amount of distance between himself and the wrathful fitness queen. He manages to make it as far as the apron, before Krissy, who had trailed his route, reaches over the ropes and angrily hauls him upright by his cornrows. He tries to fend her off with a right cross, but she swiftly ducks bellow the wild strike. A second attempt proves no more productive then the first, except this time he gets a knee to the stomach for his wasteful efforts. Krista then interweaves him into a maddeningly tight front facelock, and uses the hold as a leash to draw him into the squared circle. Wallace tugs at her arms, trying his hardest pull the hold clear with his brute strength. Much to his chagrin he encounters zero success with this effort, and Krista readies him for the always deadly Implant DDT. COLE This is starting to look kind of familiar... And it should, because Vincent replays the exact same scene that caused this entire mess in the first place. He tugs on Krista's shoe, causing her to lose her grip on One Eye and topple backwards once again. Just like before, One Eye shifts his body and lands on top of Krista in a lateral press. Again, Robinson is too stupid to witness the blatant cheating occurring right in front of his eyes. The only important difference between now and the previous predicament that cost the girls their championships, is that Vincent only holds onto one of Krista's feet. CROWD ONE COLE Not this way! TWO COLE Damn it, no! Vinny's failure to grab onto both feet proves fatal, and Krista pops out of the pin, putting the panic attacked audience and colour commentator at ease. YEAAAAAAAAA! COLE Yes! Yes! Wallace certainly does not share in the sold out arena's enthusiastic sentiment. The reigning champion holds his arms out to his side, completely at a loss for words as to explain how the once fool proof plan could go so awry. But his thoughts are quickly shifted into other concerns as Krista grabs onto his wrist and puts him on a trip towards the cables. She lowers her head, praying that he'll leapfrog her upon his return. He bites on the bait, elevating himself over her body, and foolishly throwing himself into one of Krista's more convoluted signature moves. Rather then continue his run of the cables, he pivots off his right foot to thud an elbow into Krista's noggin. Unfortunately, Krista's plan continues to go off like clockwork, and she hits him with Phase Two: An inverted atomic drop. Wallace's hands nestle his ruptured testicles as he screams into the night sky. Unfortunately for him his hollering mouth is soon drowned in blood, when Krista unleashes phase three: a fabulously deathly superkick! The wounded convict drops like a sack of potatoes to the mat, throughly battered by Krista's Great California Adventure. While the spectators ovate her complex signature spot, Krista covers her opponent for the pinfall CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent breaks up the fall with a kick to the side of her head! “FUCK OFF,VINCENT! FUCK OFF, VINCENT!” chant the oh-so classy audience. Vincent shrugs off the audience's disdain, and instead focuses on making moves to end his challengers' quest to reclaim what's rightfully their's. He takes hold of Krista's arm and uses it to drag her up right and put her on a collision course with the turnbuckles. Her back eats the brunt of the anguishing impact, leaving her momentarily stunned. Vincent makes a mad dash to his wounded target, wishing to impale her with a fierce shoulder block! But the only thing that's getting impaled around here is his arm by the steel ring post, as Miss California dodged his attack at the last possible moment! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” sing the now standing audience. Leaving Vinny to grumble about his misfortune, Krissy ascends to the top turnbuckles, leading the audience to roar with frenzied anticipation. Unfortunately for them, Marcellus Wallace let's the wind out of their sails as he catches Krista unaware, and shoves her off her perch. She falls like a ballast bag tossed from a balloon, flailing her arms about, trying to find someone to snag onto. While her arms catch nothing but empty air, her neck encounters a gruesome meeting with the ring cable, instantly draining her of her precious air supply. Krista flops onto the canvas, hacking and wheezing, but also dazed and unsure of what the hell just happened to her. In the midst of her confusion The South Central Militia take a moment to work out a double team tactic that their certain will prolong their all too short tag title reign. Vincent grabs their bewildered rival and drapes her across his shoulders so that she lies like a wild west damsel in distress. One Eye creeps up behind him, snatching hold of her neck, allowing him to smash her face into the canvas with his end of the unusual move. Suddenly a loud roar shakes the very foundation of the arena! Wallace is made aware of the source of the crowd's happiness as a recovered Alix Spezia, surprises him with a school boy! Unable to stage a proper escape from the shocking pinfall, Wallace's only hope is that his partner will mount a hasty rescue attempt. But he watches that dream go down in brilliant multi colored flames when Krista regains enough of her strength to trap Vincent in a victory roll. CROWD ONE COLE Double roll up! CROWD TWO CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! The spectators burst with a blustering cavalcade of delighted cheers for the ending they've been waiting nearly twenty minutes to see. Some audience members exchange high fives as if they were the ones who had to deal with these cheating, underhanded thugs from the wrong side of the tracks. A few young children in the first row taunt the heartbroken Militia with chants of “YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMPS! YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMPS!” Meanwhile, Vincent sits in the ring, silently cursing his team for pissing away their first true chance at wrestling stardom. His associate is much more demonstrative in his disgust, overturning chairs, ring steps and monitors in a futile effort to cope with the tremendous anger building within him. BUFFER YOUR WINNER AND NEW OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.....CHICKS OVER DICKS! “YEAAAAAAA!” The SoCal girls exchange their usual hug for their victory, and then proceed to mock the downtrodden SCM's ridiculous victory celebration, by doing Lil Jon's finger snapping dance. The fact that two white women from the suburbs can do the dance better then a black guy from South Central and a white guy who has spent half his life in prison is a source of a great shame for the embittered Militia. COLE All is right in the world, Coach! Everything is back to normal. Well, as normal as it possibly gets in the OAOAST. In this company, cheaters, criminals, convicts, pimps, goons and drug dealers do not and never will prosper. You can't cheat, and steal your way to success here! COACH All is right in the world? You whitewashed bigot! Titles have changed hands on so called dubious circumstances many times before, but not once has the man or woman in charge ever stepped out to grant an instant rematch. But when the company's spoiled little princesses lose, everyone is up in arms! Because Alix and Krista always have to be the focal point. No one else can ever have as much attention put on them as Alix and Krista. And poor Vincent and Marcellus. People always talk about how they need to change their ways, but how are they supposed to do that when every time they get a little something going, The Man has to come and take it away. You think tree hugging liberals like Krista and Alix would have sympathy for the plight of the proletariat, but I see that their no better then the men they protest against. Just 'cause a man done some shit in his time, don't mean he shouldn't get the chance to make something of himself and get him some shine. Just 'cause you're from the streets don't mean you ain't got hopes and dreams like the rest of America. The hopes and dreams of The South Central Militia were unfairly crushed tonight for purely poitical reasons. What do you say to that, Cole? COLE I say that you're a stankin' ass ho. ....... COLE Did I just say that? COACH See if I let you hide in my hotel room during a thunderstorm again. ........ COLE Just.....just fade out. Goodnight everyone. Fade to black Edited February 2, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2007 Written by: Alfdogg King Cucaracha Phoenix Fury Legdrop Bruce Blank Zack Malibu Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield Patty O'Green The Glue: KingPK © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
