HD: Promo+tag title match!

[Patty O'Green 0]

Yes, yes, if this huge grouping of stuff could go *anywhere* after the skit with Landon and Moneymaker that would be ever so wonderful! Thank ya much, dearest love.

 

COLE
Folks, Terry Taylor is backstage with the only two people he's actually allowed to interview, Chicks Over Dicks.

Right on cue the view is switched to the oaoast interview area, a fanciful stage, designed in a nouveau tech theme and populated with various posters hyping the upcoming Anglemania pay per view, and blown up covers from various oaoast dvds. In the center of the screen, stands Terry Taylor a monument to unremittingly horrid dorkdom in an Anglemania football jersey, white sweat pants, and oaoast camo baseball hat. Pause for a minute and think of how lame one has to be, not just to wear a wrestling related baseball hat, but one that has nothing on it but a wrestling company's logo. I mean, fuck, dudes, if you like 50 Cent, you ain't gonna be throwin up no Interscope hoodie, is you?

On the other end of the style spectrum sits the forever fashionable tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Krista, holding a bottle of Moet champagne, has posed her figure into an elegant deepv neck lace tank top that alternates between feminine pink and ferine black tiers, and an ocean blue fringe skirt, featuring vertical shell pattern embroidery. Alix conforms to her reputation as beach babe, wearing a light blue white striped Hollister long sleeve collared shirt, and white, heavily destroyed shorts that cut off at the thighs.

TERRY TAYLOR
Fans, Terry Taylor here with oaoast  world tag team champions, and Hollywood it girls, Chicks Over Dicks! Girls, we have a huge match coming up next, Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix, the 2007 SWF clusterfuck winner, two time SWF world champion, and one half of the current SWF tag team champions will challenge you for your tag team titles. Even though you're both prone to understatement about the importance of your own matches, I think you could least admit that this match is a big deal.....

KRISTA
Oh, yes, Terry! Never in my most moistening and titillating of sexual fantasies could I have envisioned the orgasmic loveliness that has come about from the birth of this splendid matchup! Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright give yourselves a pat on the crotch or hemorrhoid riddled buttocks ,which ever is your preference gents,as you magnificent citizens have most certainly earned it for this special Olympian task you've completed. Why with this historic union, you've made the Treaty of Versailles appear similar to the disgraced debauchery of Terry Taylor's gay4pay arrangements with young, innocent, independent wrestlers hungry for a taste of  wrestling's elusive spotlight. It's okay, Terry, I don't judge you. The teenage years are turbulent for most males. At some point, you're going to get tired of the old unmarried boys basketball  coach pulling you into the locker room and fondling you under the pretense of “improving athletic coordination”. This is your way of "getting back" “AHHH, Coach Jenkins your snake is spitting poison at me!”

TAYLOR
Krista, those aren't very nice things to say about a person!

KRISTA
I don't care, I'm gorgeous, I don't have to be nice. I will bitchtalk you all day, every day, from here until the sabbath. Can't stop, won't stop.  Rocafella records.

ALIX (to Terry)
I told you not to let her edit your autobiography.

TAYLOR
Live and learn, Alix. Well, speaking of The Enterprise and Landon Maddix, they've attached a most troubling stipulation to this championship bout. Should Cortez and Maddix win the titles, Landon will turn the belts over to The Enterprise in exchange for five hundred thousand dollars, a match at Anglemania, AND a guaranteed world title shot. As tag team champions who have fought tooth and nail to preserve your titles under sometimes unusual conditions, how do you feel about Maddix being so willing to sell off his titles to The Enterprise?

ALIX
Dude, five hundred thousand dollars is, like, a really big amount of money! Do you know what I'd do if I had five hundred thousand dollars?

KRISTA
Pay me back for the years of undue emotional hardship you've caused me?

ALIX
Don't be, silly, Krissy! No, I'd find the two toughest looking, most bad ass biker dudes in the whole wide world, and I'd be all like “Hey-yo, chico, yeah, you maricon punto, Tony Montana...he don't die dat easy.”, I'd also talk like Scarface if I had five hundred thou, So, I'd say to them “I'll pay you five hundred dollars if you dudes swap spit.” And they'd get all awkward and stuff, because their entire life has been built on a heteronormative shunning of homopositive ideals. But five hundred thousand, that's hella dope cash, and if you close your eyes you can kinda pretend the dude with the swastika tattoo on his neck and two counts of statuary rape against him is Jodie Foster. I loooove her! Anyway, so yeah, they'll kiss and stuff. But it'll be on the lips, and that is so not cool. So, I'm l all like “you gotta kiss him like I kiss my sister, with some freaking tongue, baby!” So they hesitate on it.  But once again, five hundred thousand dollars! Just imagine Jodie from [i]Catchfire[/i] and we're so looking at some serious tonsil hockey with the possibility of triple overtime.  She shoots she scores!

KRISTA (to Terry)
I've been thinking of killing myself with a surfboard. Pretty poetic, symbolizes my lost youth and innocence in the pursuit of monetary wealth, et cetrea. Think I can do it?

TAYLOR
I guess if you hit yourself with enough velocity to cause internal bleeding or to split your skull in two.

ALIX (rambling on and on and on and on)
I mean, maybe, with all that money Landy can finally take Piglet back to the farm and get a girlfriend who's, like, super hot. Someone who looks like, uh, um..... 

TAYLOR
Jodie Foster?

ALIX
:firedevil: [b]BACK OFF JERKFACE, JODIE IS MINE[/b]  :firedevil: But yeah, like a really hot chick, instead of one like Megan, who's so nasty she doesn't even wear underwear to cover up her no-no spot, just a sign that says “Warning: Exposure to may cause pus like yellow discharge, difficult urination, swollen testicles, and extreme infection.” Poor Landon! I feel, like, soooo bad for him, I just wanna start a PBS telethon for the dude! “Landon's ability not to bone women who look like they came from the pages of [i]Animal Farm[/i] is made possible by a corporate sponsorship and generous donations from viewers like you.” My heart goes out to you, Landon! No one should ever be forced to shack up with Mister Ed. There are laws against that sorta thing, ya know. Except in Missouri. Just ask my Uncle Juan. I guess it is sorta cool to be the only one of my friends who has cousins that hatched from an egg.

TAYLOR
And Krista besides putting out a contract on my life, what would you do with five hundred thousand dollars?

KRISTA
I have five hundred thousand dollars, Terry. I can make that in less then a month. I am a fitness queen, a health and welfare consultant to only the brightest of shinning stars. I'm Madonna, I'm Cher, I'm Oprah, you don't even need the Isadora Duncan, just say the name Krista, and people will bow their heads at the very mention of royalty.

ALIX
And you tell the couples therapist I'm the one causing misery and nausea!

KRISTA
Until I manage to burn your condo in Phoenix to the ground, as you have done to me, I think “misery” is a fair assessment of what you bring to the relationship.

ALIX
Oh my god, that was like three weeks ago! Get over it!

TAYLOR
Girls, be nice to each other.  Krista, you can get another condo but you can never get another Alix.

KRISTA
A fact that haunts my every waking hour.

TAYLOR
Krista, you aren't mad at Landon for accepting the Enterprise's despicable offer?

KRISTA
We're I, [i]People's[/i] sexiest woman, the kind of boorish, vulgar, alcohol consuming bitch who's prone to acts of anger, and known for her daily melodramatic fits of rage, perhaps I might have mapped out some kind of treacherous plan to have Landon's naked, beaten, bullet riddled body lobbed from the heights of the Golden Gate Bridge in response to attempting to advance his deader then Christian Wright's sex life career at the expense of my eightieth most treasured possession...no wait, eighty first, there's my Lita Ford albums, she's dreaaaamy. So, eighty second most value...no wait there's that dime I found at Dodger Stadium when I was twelve. Eighty third most valued possession. Yes definitely eighty third. Tied for eighty third at least.

TAYLOR
But you aren't that type of wom...goddess?

KRISTA
Don't patronize me. I [i]am[/i] that kind of girl, and I have made that kind of arrangement. But Landon Maddix will most likely avoid a savage and untimely death, sorry world, because I, and my ever so lovely partner, barring being struck by lightening when we're in the ring, can't be beaten by Landon.

ALIX
No way, Krissy! Lightening could never, ever, ever help Landon! Because probably after we get charred to a crisp, a gust of wind would come through, and sweep up our ashes and some of 'em would probably get stuck in Landon's throat, and he'd choke to death on our ashes and that's sorta, kinda, a submission victory.

KRISTA
Okay, what if the ghost of my sister's goldfish that I flushed down the toilet as an April fools joke when I was four, finally gets it's karmic revenge on me and drops an ice cream truck from the heaven's right on top of us?

ALIX
Now that's just stupid, Krissy. The centrifugal force, big word, heard Lauren say it on [i]The Hills[/i] this week on MTV, she's such a slut, would cause all the delicious snack treats, the Choco Tacos, the Creamsiscles, the Ice Tickles, the Klondike Bars, to topple out of the back of the truck, pinning Landon underneath their tasty weight, leading to a double count out!

KRISTA
Wow, Landon, you're even worse off then I thought, when a physical impossibility can't save your ass!  Straight up and down like six o'clock, Terry Taylor, Landon Maddix is gonna get the everlasting shit stomped out of him. Pourquoi, Mademoiselle Duncan? Because of his nickname, La Cucaracha. What does  Cucaracha sound like to you? It sounds like cockroach. And what do you do to a cockroach?

ALIX
Hehehehheheh. You said cock. I could think of a really nasty, but very funny joke to tell, but because I'd rather not be kicked out of the house anytime soon, I'm gonna keep these lips ziplocked.

KRISTA
Smart girl. Now, if you're from somewhere in Africa  the cockroach is considered a snack and you'll probably eat it. But if you're from Africa there's a better then sixty percent chance you have AIDs, you may have malaria, your country may be torn apart by unending ethnic and tribal warfare, your average income may never exceed more then two hundred dollars a year, your educational pursuits may never extend past the age of eleven, and the only time the white capitalist oppressors ever think of you is when they have to buy a blood diamond for the two dollar whore they're cheating on their pregnant wife with. So go ahead and enjoy your Anthropoda Insectas, Africa, while greedy whitemen like Theodore Moneymaker, feast upon the billions and billions of dollars earned off the blood of your murdered children. You've earned it, dudes!

ALIX
You're just the cutest widdle thing when you're getting butthurt about people you'll never meet!

KRISTA
But in America, the land of apple pie and pop starlets that make Alix look sane and well adjusted.....

ALIX
Get well soon, Britney!

KRISTA (cont)
We squash cockroaches, and that, dear Terrence, is precisely what will happen to The Enterprise's puppet, the so called savior of the oaoast, the former SWF world champion, the current SWF tag team champion, Landon Maddix. And as for Todd, Alix, sweetheart, what do we to people named Cortez?

ALIX
Deport them or pay them less then minimum wage to work as dishwashers in California Pizza Kitchen's across the country?

KRISTA
Unfortunately. But that's a rant for another day. Todd, I don't know what Leon Rodez, has in store for you, but what I see in your immediate future is a massive amount of pain and discomfort and a long drawn out war with the Blue Cross insurance company over whether or not they'll pay for the surgery to remove this Moet bottle from your ass. Sincerely, your's in Christ, Krista Isadora Duncan.

TAYLOR
Girls, thank you very much for your thoughts, and as always for your kindness and respect. Fans, when we return it's Maddix and Cortez against Chicks Over Dicks for the oaoast world tag team titles.

[B]COMMERCIAL BREAK[/B]

When we return from break, we're shown an image of a young, bearded Arab man, in a Ryan Smyth [color="#0000FF"][b]Edmonton[/b][/color] [b][color="#FF8C00"]Oilers[/color][/b] hockey jersey standing in front of an oaoast Anglemania banner. Astute viewers will remember him as Abdullah Abir Nerdly, adopted brother of Marvin, Melvin, and Melody Nerdly. They'll also remember that he got the crap kicked out of him by 24/7 champion, Bohemoth last week and Patty LOLed tremendously at his beating. However the hasn't turned Abir Nerdly off the of the oaoast and he's poised to speak on matters.

ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY (ranting and raving, spit flying from his mouth, eyes wide, housing a look of pure righteous insanity)
مذنبون والسفيه. العالم ريكونيزي التي يجب برعشيت ويموت يموت يموت يموت :firing: Bohemoth يموت يموت قيمة المتشردون قتلهأن يأتي الخير من بلدي. كانت نابعه من24/7[img=http://community.allhiphop.com/images/smilies/zx11pissed.gif] صميم الروح ، روح القلب  :firing: oaoast ، وانه لا يمكن وقفه. لا كلباتNerdly لا المعازقAnglemania ليس من المال أو القوة. فقط عندما اقول انه سيوقف. ليس هناك سوى القتل والموت لاولئكاسرتي بيتي عندما يموت يموت لي حرق وجه HeldDOWN :ph34r: الاستغلال لكم فقط اختبار  الذين oaoast :stupid: يرغبون في الوقوف ضدي!!أنت :angry: م حمقى لا يعرفون ما انا قادر! بلدي كبير سلطة ديستوري Anglemania منك!Nerdly لا يستطيع احد ان يمنعني! القتل! القتل! القتل! زاك ماليبو أنت الميت! دريك الحجارة أنت الميت! مشروع أنت الميت! عبير عبد الله! Anglemania!  :cheers: 

YOU THE READER
[IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/thef.jpg]

(We return to sofa central where the announce team is just as confused and mystified by Abdullah's words as everyone else)

COLE
Something about, Anglemania, maybe, I just...not all that certain. But he sounds enthusiastic, that's for sure!

COACH
I think he was saying he'd rather nail a post-op tranny then watch Anglemania. “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice” from Abdullah Abir Nerdly's mouth straight to your ears.

COLE
What does the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice have to do with post....I can't believe I'm about to even dignify your homophobic comments with a response. Grow up, Coachman.

LEON RODEZ
Maybe he gave advice on taint tinting. “Taint tinters are lost and foolish souls. If your partner can't love your anus for who it is, then you are in an unhealthy relationship.” Agreed one hundred percent Abdullah Abir Nerdly, been preaching that for years.

COLE
Well, folks, on that fantastic and classy note, I guess I ought to mention we're joined by Leon Rodez for this upcoming oaoast tag title match between Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez and champions, Chicks Over Dicks. These are four people you have had various, uh, issues with, for lack of a better word, over various points of time. But tonight it will most likely be Todd Cortez, your possible Anglemania opponent, and not your ex-girlfriend, Alix Spezia, who captures your attention.

[color="#483D8B"][i][b]REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH[/b][/i][/color]

Marylin Manson's decadent industrial-glam take on Depeche Mode's [i]Personal Jesus[/i] booms to life, bringing with it an army of boos and jeers. From the parting entrance doors steps Landon Maddix, an unusual glow wafting from his body, no doubt spurred on by his fantastic deal with the devil. His arms extend to his side, a pose of arrogant triumph in the face of the venom that swells around him. Standing behind him is Todd Cortez, a stewing mixture of frustration an annoyance. What he's so mad about, no one knows. He's just an angry dude, I guess. At Landon's side is his ever present lady love, Megan Skye, an unfortunate victim of a few slut chants from drunks near the entrance stage.

BUFFER
The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of forty minutes and it is for the oaoast tag team titles. First, from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOOODD CCOOOOOOORRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZZ!! His partner, being accompanied by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, eight pounds., he is one half of the SWF  tag team champions, LLLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXX!!!

COLE
The Enterprise never fails to disgust me. They've somehow decided that performing at Anglemania and actually wrestling for the belts is “well bellow their stature in the community”, “unwise given their position.” So they're trying to use their wealth to facilitate the purchase of the belts, first through Alix Spezia and now with an arrangement with Landon Maddix. Terrible and disgraceful. Leon what do you think of Moneymaker's deal with Landon?

RODEZ
Personally, I think the deal is dumbest thing I've heard in my life, and try to remember where I've worked the past three years. I guest commentated for the Anderson Cup final and it was a great match, but if you're going to try and circumvent what makes a championship a championship, just so you can gain some kind of messed up “dominance” within the oaoast, like The Enterprise is doing, then you should've let someone else take your spot in the Anderson Cup final. If the deal goes down as Moneymaker intends it will basically make a mockery out of an entire division. But, I guess money talks. It's a sweet deal for Maddix, but you'd never see me bite on that offer.

COLE
Either way this is a very impressive matchup, Landon and Todd Cortez were once SWF tag team champions, and Landon is a current SWF tag team champion and has the held the belts four times in total. If anyone can execute Moneymaker's masterplan it has to be him.

Wearing a sleeveless intricately embroidered leather jacket over his half red, half yellow spandex shorts, Landon preens and primps his way down the entry aisle. The incredibly arrogant superstar comes off as a reincarnation of Gorgeous George, infuriating everyone he passes with his self obsessed behavior. Cortez is instantly distracted from proceedings by the presence of his archenemy, Leon Rodez. Despite some half hearted pleadings from Megan for focus, The Urban Legend is unable to take his eyes off Rodez; and The Silky Smooth one feels quite the same about him. The tense stare down is only heightened by the incredible amount of threats spewing from Todd Cortez's mouth.

RODEZ
Keep running that mouth, Todd. I'm gonna remember everything you're saying. And all those comments and insults are just going to make it that much sweeter when I beat you down at Anglemania. 

Within seconds Leon's threatening words give way to a more positive sonnet....

[i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you 
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way, no way!
I think you need a new one 
Hey, hey, you, you
I could be your girlfriend!

Hey, hey, you, you!
I know that you like me!
No way, no way!
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you!!
I want to be your girlfriend![/color][/font][/i]

The infectious bounce that characterizes Avril Lavigne's top 40 track [i]Girlfriend[/i] fills the arena with peppy brilliance, and draws a gargantuan amount of cheers from the now standing audience. As [color="#FF00FF"][b]pink[/b][/color] lights flicker illumination at the entrance stage, chants of “C-O-D” are already the order of the day for many fans. A [color="#FF00FF"][b]pink[/b][/color] pyro waterfall rains from the ceiling, connecting with a [b][color="#FF0000"]red[/color][/b] pyro fountain, both beautiful displays sprinkling the entrance way with shimmering sparks. Once the pairing subsides, a [b][color="#FFFF00"]golden[/color][/b] pyro wall engulfs the stage with it's tremendous size, leaving behind a thick haze of simmering smoke in it's wake. Through the build up of smoke appears the gorgeous image of Krista Isadora Duncan. The viscous vixen is attired much differently then usual, looking like she's attending a costume party in a red Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim baseball hat, matching jersey, and short red micro skirt. 

COACH
Oh mama, talk about a California Angel! Or is it a Los Angeles Angel? Or an Anaheim Angel? Or Los Angeles Anaheim of Angel...er...Angel of Los Anaheim...crap!

In Kris' possession sits an aluminum baseball bat, which she mischievously bangs against her hands, letting her rivals know she has no issues with using the dangerous weaponry should the situation call for it. Alix, strangely wearing the exact same casual prep attire she had on for the interview, skips from the open entrance doors, preparing to whip the audience into a frenzy. But Krista uses her baseball bat as an impassable obstacle, halting Alix in her tracks. With Alix temporally subdued, Krista brings the bat over her head and gently slides the cold metal down her back, before using the tool to vigorously thrust Alix into her arms. Ally turns over her shoulders, brushes a strand of her brown locks out her face, and tosses a bewitching kiss to the camera, causing cute super imposed [color="#FF0000"][b]red[/b][/color] lips to pop on the screen. 

COACH
Yo, any fool that was hookin' up with Alix, then throws that away is some kind of got damned moron. Am I right, fellas? I'm glad no one out here is stupid enough to break up with a chick that hot. And she's loaded 'cause of her cookie company. You'd never have to work again if you were dating her. A man would either have to be gay, and idiot, or both to break up with Alix. Right, Leon?

BUFFER
And the champions....

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

BUFFER
.....first, from Los Angeles, California, she is two time twenty four seven champion, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks! 

COACH
This song, this song, this song. It reminds of something, or someone. Someone very close to me, as in right next to me. Leon Rodez! But why would this song, titled [i]Girlfriend[/i], remind me of Leon Rodez? Oh wait that's right, Alix Spezia used to your girlfriend, until you turned on her for a title you don't even have anymore. But that was a year ago, who cares? You've got a big Anglemania match coming up. Oh wait, you're not medically cleared to fight! At least you can still look forward to a big paycheck when you can wrestle. Oh wait, you're gonna be working for free because you missed Anglemania. My bad, dawg! I'm sure Alix could use a janitor or something at Miss Spezia Sweetie's. 

RODEZ
Athirtynineyearoldvirginsayswhat?

COACH
What?

RODEZ
Exactly.

Acting on the sharply stated orders of SWF Clusterfuck winner, Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez pounces upon the reigning oaoast tag team champions as they enter the ring. Unfortunately for Mister Cortez, his oh-so wonderful partner neglected to do the same, thus Todd is working under a dire numbers disadvantage. Though he could most likely handle two people the size of Ally and Krissy, he's not afforded the chance to prove this fact, thanks to Alix lowering the ropes and toppling his charging frame to the outside. She's follows the disposed Legend out of the ring, leaving Krista and Landon to officially start this contest. 

[B]DING DING DING[/B]

Maddix finally shows some competitive spirit, striking Krista in her stomach with a quick forearm. The move stuns Krista and allows Maddix to take a firm grip of her flowing blond hair. He leads her to the edge of the ring then roughly hurls her over the cables! His arms instantly raise in celebration at the easy elimination of the champion. But he finds out he celebrated much too soon, as Krista skins the cat and laces her tan legs around his skinny neck. The South Dakota native brings her into the ring, thinking he can smash her into the canvas with a modified powerbomb. But the idea encounters unmitigated failure, and she pulls him down with a spinning head scissors! Tossing strands of sun colored locks out of her face with one hand, she uses the other to bring Maddix off the mat. The world famous fitness queen then chucks Landon to a neutral corner where his back endures the typically gruesome meeting with the poorly padded ring posts. As he bemoans his bum luck, the former Guns N Roses dancer backflips towards him. Upon reaching the four time SWF tag team champ, she extends her body backwards and slams her elbow into the side of his face. Momentum alone carries the foxy mama lunging over the top rope and onto the ring apron. She watches Landon stumble out of the corner, trying and failing to get a bead on her with his watery eyes. He's soon exposed to her troubling whereabouts when he witnesses her soaring through the sky with a spring board body splash. Reacting at the last possible moment, the Madrid born cruiserweight leaps into a spinning wheel kick counter. But the super intelligent Krista is several steps ahead of him and extends those lovely legs into a dropkick that terrorizes his otherwise handsome face and pushes him to the mat.

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” scream the audience.

Landon jumps to his feet, clutching his aggrieved face. With his free arm he lobs a lariat towards his enemy. But the slow moving nature of the strike permits Miss California to duck beneath it. She returns fire with a lariat of her own, which Landon counters by ducking as well. He ends the short parade of clotheslines by grabbing both her arms between his in a rear underhook so that her back leans against his back. Yet that hold stays locked in for no more then five seconds before Krissy uses her amazing quickness to flip backwards and land in front of the former SWF world champion. Fueled by a feral rage, the former fitness model horsewhips her shoe into his gut. As Maddix stands stunned and confused she takes to the sky, morphing her body into a blur of red, white, and yellow motion. She uncoils her svelte figure to shoot a foot into Landon's face, bowling him over with a tornado kick.

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

KID bats Landon down with a second dropkick, but he amazingly rises to gets to his feet before she does. Suddenly finding herself within a vulnerable position, the blond bombshell is forced to think fast lest she be on the wrong side of a harsh beating. As the twenty three year old nears her, she tilts her body back and tangles her ankles around his head. Landon grabs onto her shins, certain that he can simply toss her aside. How wrong he is! Krista begins twirling both their bodies like a merry-go-ground, while her's floats in the air, and her arms are extended like wings. After several seconds of nausea inducing torment, Maddix is flung to the beige canvas when KID twists on her ankles. And how does the hottest thing in West LA celebrate her besting of La Cucaracha? By leaning over the ropes and putting on expression of alluring enticement to the wealth of fans snapping her picture with their camera phones. Perhaps this moment of arrogance was ill advised for the Revlon covergirl as Maddix has taken time to recover and is zipping towards her with a larait. Thanks to a timely warning of look out from an audience member, Krista turns around just in time to sweep bellow the oncoming strike. Now behind Landon she uses her advantageous position to her..uh..advantage and hooks onto his attacking arm with a half nelson. Maddix's face lights up with terror as the crowd roars it's approval for her fortcoming attack. Krissy quinches their thirst for violence, when she shoots her body forward and smashes his face into the rock hard floor with a half nelson face crusher.

RODEZ
I think Maddix is gonna need a pinch hitter, because he's striking out tonight against Krista. Is that the right term? Pinch hitter? Not a baseball man. I'm a hunting kind of guy.

COLE
I never would've thought that. What do you hunt?

RODEZ
The most dangerous game of all. Human beings.

Despite the obvious pain he's under, Landon rises just as quickly as he feel, reading his arm to blast the fan favorite with a lariat. Yet, Krista defeats his plan by leaping forward and twisting her legs around his neck. She peels backwards to curse him with another hurricanarana, this time holding onto his legs for a pin. Referee Charlie Robinson scores the fall.

ONE


TWO


Maddix shoots his shoulder off the mat, and soon his entire body follows. He's given no chance to mount any sort of attack however, as the golden haired babe flips him over with a deep arm drag. The former SWF world champion tries to scurry away from his rival, but an arm lock traps him in place. While Maddix tries in vain to squirm his way free, the audience claps for Krista's show of technique. Krista wrenches and cranks on his wounded limb, humming the theme song to the hit TV show [i]M*A*S*H[/i] for no real apparent reason. Maddix, a firm believer that [i]M*A*S*H[/i] was supremely overrated, drags his carcass to his feet to strike Krista down for her poor taste in classic television. However Krista prevents any harm from befalling her by turning her armlock into a simple arm wrench. While Maddix whines in frustration, Krista glides the pair over towards Ally. She extends her Adidas snow boot to Alix, and waits for a tag. Unfortunately Alix isn't able to comprehend the use of the foot instead of the hand for a tag.

“Gross! I don't have a foot fetish! Ewww!” Alix snaps in revulsion.

“Shut up and tag me, dummy” Krista screams, blood pressure soaring so high it could reach the moon.

So Alix tags in Krista and enters the ring to a massive pop from the capacity crowd. The girls pair up on Huron's favorite son, each taking an arm and thrusting him to the ropes. Cortez tries for a blind tag, but his movement is far too slow, and Maddix is locked into a one way collision course with the oaoast tag team champions. They each smash a pair of elbows into his midsection. Not the most dangerous of moves, but damaging enough that they're able to snapmare him to the ground. His gaze peers towards the ceiling, catching the scoreboard, lights, rafters, banners. What it doesn't see is Chicks Over Dicks. That's because the California girls have taken off to opposite directions towards the ring ropes. As they near their fallen foe, they act in unison each cartwheeling to the detested grappler. Krista extends her body into a 450 splash, while Alix rotates her's through a shooting star press. Their landing is gruesome and painful for poor Landon who hollers out in pain. But for the audience, it's just another reason to chant “C-O-D! C-O-D!” Ally and Krista celebrate their triumph by becoming the world's cutest Led Zepplin cover band, and rocking out to [i]Stairway to Heaven[/i]. Alix takes on the role of Jimmy Page, slamming on the air guitar, while Krista, the one who has a voice not akin to nails on a chalkboard, plays Robert Plant, belting symphonic vocals.

RODEZ(singing)
Aaaaaaand she's buyyyying a stairway to heaven.

COACH
You weren't even alive when that song was released.

As Krista scurries out of the ring, her “bandmate” hooks Maddix's leg for the pinfall. Robinson administers the count.

UNO


DOS

But Maddix pops his arm off the mat, ending the pinfall. The self proclaimed savior of the oaoast leaps to his feet, sick of being dropkicked and hurricanraned, and ready to tag his ally, Todd Cortez into the fray. However he can scarcely take a single step  towards Cortez before Alix whips him overhead with an arm drag. Using some technical wrestling know-how, Landon tries to shift her downwards after he hits the mat himself. But the adorable heroine places her hand against the floor and springs away from her vexed rival. Unfortunately she puts herself right near Megan's location, and the short haired blond has little qualms with reaching into the squared circle and tripping Alix to the canvas. The audience is livid with the display of poor sportwomanship and taunt Megan with chants of “MEGAN DOES CREAMPIES” and if you don't know what a creampie is, oh man are you the luckiest person ever.

COLE
Leon would you mind if I got your opinion on Theodore Moneymaker and The Enterprise?

RODEZ
I don't like to put beef on the streets, OG, and I've never had to personally deal with Moneymaker or Mackenzie, but I know Ned, Simon and I hate me some Christian Wright. Behind all their money and sophistication lies a bunch of thuggish brutes, and I'd never want myself or anyone I know to have to deal with them. I'm not an angry guy, but the blood gets to boilin' when I think about 'em.

Ally heads to her feet, eager to serve a helping of punishment to the meddling valet. But Maddix denies the horny crowd their sought after cat fight, and topples Alix with a running dropkick. Perfectly satisfied with his lone offensive attack, he applies the tag to Todd Cortez.

COACH
Here comes your best buddy, Leon!

RODEZ
Yeah right. Last year around this time, I had everything going for me in the oaoast, I was in a title hunt I had loads of fans, and a good position in the company. Then Todd Cortez and crew came in and everything started to spiral into hell. They tried to destroy my life and leave me with nothing. They went far, but they didn't go far enough, because I've come back, and I'm gunning for Cortez.

“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” sing the onlookers.

Cortez accosts The Hollywood Bad Girl, who's still feeling the ill affects of the dropkick, and sucks her into a tight front facelock. Moving in one fluid motion he flings her backwards and crushes her into the canvas with a snap suplex. Todd floats over and drapes his body across her's for a pinfall. Robinson applies the count...

ONE


TWO

Alix kicks out well before the three, earning quite the pop from the sold out arena. Besieged with frustration over the escape,  The Urban Legend mounts his rival and begins raining a downpour of closed fists into her face. He keeps drilling and drilling, until his blows gusher a gyeser of tortured screams from the helpless maiden. The fans are quick to jump on Todd's case, pelting him with a number of insults. Maddix tries his best to silence their profane mouthes, but is countered with a round of taunts of his own. Todd ignores the war of words between his partner and the audience and coils his arms around Alix's slender waist for standing head scissors. He foists her into the air, draping her lithe body across his broad shoulders in position for a dominator. That move would be infinitiley more preferable to the mode of attack Cortez actually executes. He charges across the ring, eyeing down a neutral corner, then bulldozes Alix's back into the callous ring post. A heart wrenching scream escapes her throat immediately upon impact, and salty tears fill her eyes. Krista is barely able to control herself, threatening Todd with every manner of violent act she can think of. The audience treats him none to kindly, booing his viscous attack. In fact the only two people who seem pleased with it are Landon and Megan.

COACH
Hahahah! If Todd does that to you, Rodez, I foresee another three or four months on the injured reverse. What do you say that, Lee-Lee?

RODEZ
I see what you're trying to do, Coach, you're trying to get me angry. Once again, I don't get angry, I get even. When I sneak into your hotel room tonight and put Nair on your pubic hair, you'll see evidence of this. And if Todd thinks he's going to put me out of action twice, then he's in for a whole bunch of painful surprises.

With Alix impaled upon the ringpost, Cortez retreats to the center of the squared in order to gain a head of steam. Emitting a low growl, The Urban Legend rumbles towards The Hollywood Bad Girl. When he nears his rival he takes to the skies and impacts his knees into her stomach. Ally screams at the top of her lungs, as the aftermath of the strike sinks her quivering body to the mat. TC affords her little time to recover, however, and explodes a running body splash onto her ample chest. The move results in a pinfall, which is counted by C-Rob.

ONE


TWO

A kickout comes shortly before the three, leading Cortez to damn Alix for her resiliency. The Urban Legend makes the tag with his left hand to Maddix, while his right takes a clump of Ally's hair and drags her to her feet. Cortez then drapes her horizontally across his shoulders, causing a dreadful buzz to emanate from the stands. The spectator's fears for Alix's safety turn out to be well founded; Landon leaps from a perch on the third cable and slices his leg through the culinary sensation's neck. Alix topples from Cortez's shoulders, and her head crunches into the canvas in a most gruesome fashion. The current SWF tag team champion, ushers his beltless partner out of the ring, so that he may defeat Alix by his lonesome. He signifies his moment of triumph (and the cash he's about to pocket as a result), by performing the infamous Moneymaker “money fingers”. It's a gesture that acquires it's fair share of heat from the staunchly pro COD crowd.

COLE
Do you think Todd knows that his partner has sold him out like a selfish rat?

RODEZ
Todd's mental and physical welfare isn't on my list of top concerns, for obvious reasons, but if we ever find Maddix being wheeled out of here in a bodybag we know who to point the finger at.

Landon takes Alix by the arm and roughly drags her to her feet; he wrings the limb of the dazed diva so harshly that it snaps her out of her foggy haze, and forces her to rebel against his clutches. But his master plan is already set in motion, and a swift elbow to her midsection shows that he's unable to be stopped. Landon lifts his skinny leg over her arm, straddling it. She tries her damnedest to pull away but meets with zero success. He shoots his far leg upwards in a quick motion that's only stopped when his boot connects with her jaw.  Upon impact she tumbles backwards to the mat, stricken with searing anguish. Her soft brown hair tangles with perspiration in front of her forehead, and a stinging mixture of tears and sweat roll down her cheeks.

“¡Buenas Noches!” Landon bellows, announcing the name of the preceeding signature move.

“YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” chants the crowd.

Landon ignores the hatred for the time being and attempts another pin.

ONE

“One hundred thousand!” He screams, dollar signs all but flashing through his eyes.

TWO

“Two hundred thousand!”

There will be no three or three hundred thousand, as Ally kicks out of the fall, drawing a sigh of relief from the audience as well as Krista.

COACH
Maddix was half a second away from a guaranteed world title match, a spot at Anglemania, and five hundred thousand dollars!

RODEZ
If he hadn't wasted time with that “¡Buenas Noches!” junk, he'd have a lot fatter wallet right about now. But if he finds himself off Anglemania and in the poor house, he can look back to that exact moment in time to see what put him there.

Maddix rises to his feet, once again posturing his hand into the money fingers symbol. Yet this time he appears much less arrogant and self assured, almost as if he's starting to feel like his five hundred thousand dollars are floating in a toilet, waiting for someone to slam the flusher. But he brushes aside his misgivings and hammers Ally with a series of stomps, before lifting her up and shooting her towards the ropes. Upon her return, Maddix dips low and slides forward, causing her to trip onto his shoulders. Without so much as bothering to secure her properly, he dives backwards and crunches her through the canvas with a samoan drop. He leans backwards for a lackadaisical pinfall, lightly draping his arm along Alix's collarbone. The referee counts the fall, slamming has hand down next to Alix's whimpering face.

ONE

TWO

But Ally gets her shoulder off the mat, drawing a huge cheer from the fans, and keeping Landon from his guaranteed world title shot for the time being.

RODEZ
His refusal to do something as simple as use a proper pinfall robbed him of five hundred thousand dollars. You'd think for half a mil and a guaranteed world title shot the guy would hook one of those,  smooth, flawless, sexy, tantalizing, kissable....uh, sorry, got lost in my thoughts.

COLE
The SWF tag team champion has to move quickly if he wants the victory and all the prizes that come with it.

La cucaican'tspellthatnickname, as if reading Cole's mind, targets a stiff stomp into the small of The Hollywood Bad Girl's back. A soft yelp is pulled from her pink lips, and Landon brings her to her feet by her lovely hair. Displaying the kind of excellent courtesy that can only be taught at a South Dakota, grammar school, Mister Maddix kindly introduces Miss Spezia to the nearest turnbuckle. As Alix screams in misery, and reaches out for a tag that's never coming, Maddix slashes his black boot against her spine. He then turns the oaoast tag team champion around so that she lies back first against the corner pads. On the outside a little girl screams pleas towards Landon, begging him not to harm her hero. But Landon has five hundred thousand good reasons to crush this girls' dream, thus he ignores her appeals for mercy. He thrusts a lariat into Alix's neck, leaving her hacking and wheezing like a asthma sufferer. Barley able to breathe, she's powerless to stop the Spanish born grappler as he picks her up and sits her atop the third turnbuckle.

“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”

Maddix positions himself upon the second rope, applying a front facelock when he's certain he's sufficiently balanced. Maddix begins arching backwards in order to pull The Hollywood Bad Girl off the ropes and end this stressing contest once and for all. Ally, however, hooks those legs Leon was obsessing over earlier underneath the top rope and holds on for dear life. Landon is unmoved by his rival's refusal to surrender and makes a second attempt for that superplex. Again the fan favorite remains planted on the top rope. Aggravated to no end, Maddix releases the hold and vents his frustration by slogging vulgarities at anyone who will listen. Unfortunately his timeout to curse out is paid with a heavy price, namely Alix shoving him off the second rope and onto the canvas bellow! Her grey eyes lock down upon her fallen foe, narrowing into sinister slits. With vengeance on her mind she rises to her tiny but deadly five foot eight vertical base. The audience lights up with wild anticipation for Alix's forthcoming attack.

RODEZ
Ally standing on the top rope, and I know from first hand experience, that is one girl who likes to get high.

Alix sucks down a deep breath, then springs from her perch. The once busy world seems to decay into slow motion as she kicks her legs out, and scrunches her body into cannonball position. She falls forward with graceful lethality, her back flat, looking to land hard on the wounded body of the SWF tag team champion. She and the roaring audience are ready for her to nail her diving senton, knock the wind out of the annoying grappler, and pick up another successful title defense.....

Unfortunately, Maddix moves.

“BOOOOOOO!” sear the oaoast faithful.

Alix lies on the mat a broken heap of bones, trying to alternately nurse her back and ribs. She writhes in supreme anguish, unable to do anything except convulse and weep. Krista urges her to mount some manner of attack, not so much as to protect the titles, but to preserve her own safety in face of these relentless hounds.

COACH
It looks like Maddix might be able to become the half million dollar man after all! But after that crash and burn Alix is going to need a rub down. Rodez, you blew your shot, chump, now the Coach gets to step up to the plate. 

RODEZ
Be sure to sleep with one eye open, Coach.

Positively spooked by that near defeat experience, Maddix decides he's had his share of Alix Spezia for the moment, and tags Todd Cortez back into the affair. The Urban Legend picks up where his associate left out, hammering Alix with a deadly array of stomps. He pauses to glare towards the referee who's demanding that he ease up on poor Alix. The battered champion takes the moments spat to stagger her to her feet. Cortez instantly eyes her rise and leaves Robinson alone to deal with his foe. He makes moves to lift her into his infamous Neckwrecker. The audience boos lustily, knowing full well the hold could end the contest all on it's own. But Alix's thrashes and flails against his clutches, refusing to be brought up for the devastating move. Thus, Todd is forced to resort to plan B. He clasps his hand around her neck and hauls her body into the air with great ease. He pauses for several moments, showcasing his beautiful victim to the wrathful fans; then pummels her with the Urban Assault (sitout chokeslam bomb). While the ring vibrates from the tremendous impact, Charlie Robinson counts the ensuing pinfall.

ONE

“We're rich! We're rich!” Landon bleats on the apron.

TWO

“Your new oaoast world champion....LANDON MADDIX!” He screams, visions of parades in his honor flowing down the streets of Huron, South Dakota and Madrid, Spain filling his mind.

THREE!

No, Alix kicks out, causing Landon to tailspin into a state of hysteria. He leaps up and down on the ring apron, screaming bloody murder over this perceived injustice. Even Megan is forced to look away in embarrassment at his lunatic behavior. Fortunately for the former SWF world champion, his partner remains a much more calming force. He grabs onto the waist of Alix's teeny, tiny booty shorts, and pulls her towards the center of the ring. He circles one arm around her neck, then attaches his around her head, fully applying the dreaded sleeper hold. The audience is kneely aware that this simple hold could be the death kneel of Chicks Over Dicks title reign, and takes up the rallying cry of “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

COACH
This could be it!

RODEZ
Don't be crazy, Coach, give my girlfrie....I mean Alix some more credit then that. I remember times when I'd  be beating her ass at Scrabble, and then BAM, all of sudden she throws out a word like caterwauling, triple word score, game over.

Alix staggers to the ring cables, while Cortez tries to drag her to the canvas. But he quickly comes to realize merely pushing the feisty lass down won't do the trick, and tries to fall backwards in order to snare her into an inescapable body scissors. Alix makes a frantic bid for the tope rope, using it's superior strength to prevent Todd from sucking her into the depths of submission hell. But, Cortez is unyielding and stubbornly pursues his effort. But The Hollywood Bad Girl's continued resistance provides him little hope that he'll have any success, and thus, Cortez is forced to abandon all efforts and simply pull her towards the center of the ring-

Unfortunately for him, the bubbly babe uses a supernatural burst of energy to sprint their bodies towards the turnbuckle. The crowd's chants of “ALIX!” are cranked up in volume as their favorite lady runs up the cornerpost. She touches the bottom one, then elevates to the second, using it a launching pad to vault off the top with a picture perfect back flip! White fireworks of camera flashes dance across the stands, as Ally Cat soars through the sky, totally free of Cortez' clutches. Upon landing, she wastes little time in making the most of her freedom and applies the long awaited tag to Miss California, Krista Isadora Duncan. The audience erupts with blaring cheers, sending tremors of sound pumping through every nook and cranny of the arena.

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

RODEZ
Yikes, I hope Krissy remembers to leave some of Cortez for me.

COLE
I didn't know you were allowed to call her Krissy.

RODEZ
Yeaaaah, just keep that one between us girls.

Ever the bold one, Todd meets Krista head on, not at all intimidated by her resume as three time tag team champion. Unfortunately his dauntless attitude does little to help him survive the wrath of the crazed fitness queen and she pumps a right jab into his chin. A left comes grazing across his cheek, preceeding a right that strikes expertly onto his left eye. Left partially blinded and confused, The Urban Legend is reduced to an Urban also-ran and stumbles to and fro like a drunk after happy hour. Krista takes his moment's misery as the perfect time to admire her unmatched beauty. She pulls a compact mirror from her top, then flips it open to admire her traffic stopping looks. Finally she plants a kiss onto her angelic reflection, then chucks the mirror into the stands where the frenzied audience battles for ownership. Miss California then turns her attention back towards Todd and plants him on the mat with a leg lariat! While he fights a losing battle to stand up and carry on the fight, his enemy carts herself to the ropes. But instead of running back like any normal person would, Krista decides to further belittle poor Cortez, by salsa dancing towards him. Her curvaceous hips gyrate in steamy allurement, while her arms wiggle through a pattern of mesmerizing euphoria. Unfortunately for Todd the end result of the taunting is far less sexy, as Krista drives the point of her knee into his forehead. While the audience salutes her seductive show, she hooks Todd's leg for a pin. 

CROWD
ONE!

CROWD
TWO!

But Maddix is there with an elbow drop to save his partner and his chance of becoming a future world champion.

The crowd is none to thrilled with Landon's actions and slanders him with chants of, “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

“I do no such thing!” He snaps back, genuinely offended by their charge.

He refocuses his attention on Krista, eyeing her with his beady orbs as she begins to rise to her feet. He pounces on her with a front facelock before she can make any sudden movements, then drifts her towards the sky with a vertical suplex. Krista, however, shimmies her body through his grasp, and manages to twist around so that her back is pointed towards his face. Before Landon knows what's what, she dives forward, collaring her arm around his neck, then sweetly impacting his head onto her shoulder with a stunner. Yet the crowd popping counter fails to floor the two time Clusterfuck winner and he roars towards her with a lariat. With the grace of an acrobrat, she leans back and plucks her boot into the sky with a capoeria inspired kick. The toe of the shoe slices into his chin with perfect aim; Maddix is dropped to canvas before he even knows that he's been hit.

“KRISTA! KRISTA!”

COACH
Forget out of the park! That one knocked, Landon clear out of the state!

Now entering the game in relief for his overwhelmed “friend”, is Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend hooks Krista into a rear waistlock then lifts her backwards to drop her into a bridged German Suplex! The count is made...

ONE


TWO

Krissy kicks out, earning a massive cheer from the fans. Cortez directs a disbelieving glare at Robinson, holding up three trembling fingers. C-note holds up two, and even as an outraged Urban Legend slaps his hands together three times, Robinson fails to budge. Unable to convince the referee of his rightness, Cortez is required to do further damage to Krista in order to secure victory. He scrapes her body off the mat, then places into a standing fireman's carry. His desire is to cause even more damage to her neck with a death valley driver. But this is wish that will forever remain unfulfilled thanks to Miss California slipping out of his hold and landing on her feet. A swift kick to his midsection doubles the former SWF tag team champion over, and allows the viscous vixen to pull him down with a sunset flip! But Todd Cortez rolls through the pinning situation, and it is [i]Krista[/i] who is in severe danger of losing this match!

ONE


TWO

Krista escapes the pinfall in the nick of time!

[b]“YEAAAAAAA!”[/b]

COLE
That was too close!

Maddix has recuperated from his earlier defeat well enough to greet Krista with a pair of forearm smashes when she rises. Having softened her up enough with those strikes, he moves on to more catastrophic moves, namely the deathly [b]Go 2 Sleep[/b]. Unlike his comrade in arms, however, Maddix can't even lift Krista into the fireman's carry position, thanks to her troubling tug on his hair. He demands that she let him go free, a request that she happily obliges, but only does so in order to clamp him down with an inverted facelock. Landon has zero wish to figure out what terrible attack has formed within his foe's twisted mind, and shoots a knee towards her head. The strike impacts with stunning percesion, and breaks the hold immediately upon arrival. Free from Kris' grasp, LM puts her into a front facelock, then grabs onto her bare right leg. He lifts her up, then brings her right back down into the simple yet effective bridged fisherman's suplex. Robinson counts the fall.....

ONE


TWO

“Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!” Alix screams as she dives onto Landon to break up the pinfall.

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” shout the audience.

The strident interference jolts Maddix to his feet, where his menacing glare looks onto the woman who's kept him from his fortune. Unfortunately a nasty stare is all he's capable of hitting Alix with, as the ditzy diva tucks her head between his elbow, and locks her arms around his waist for the Northern Lights suplex. This time Ally adds a unique twist to the otherwise blasee hold, taking both competitors into the sky with a majestic backflip! The wonderful display of agility gleans a rousing ovation from the spectators and a whimper of distress by Maddix. Spurred on by the fan appreciation, and the moaning of her beleaguered rival, Ally decides that twice is just as nice and efforts a repeat of the same move. Maddix to go along with her plan and counters the hold with a basic DDT!

[B]“BOOOOOO”[/B]

Why is the audience booing? Is it because Maddix managed to counter their heroine? Is it because Megan has strangely made her way onto the ring apron to distract Robinson? Or is it because one half of the Anderson Cup champions, [color="#008080"][b]Christian Wright[/b][/color], is charging down the entry aisle, ubiquitous briefcase in tow. Though the anger is most likely a combination of all three issues, Wright's unwanted presence is the most troubling concern for the millions of COD fans world wide.

RODEZ (standing up, almost as if he's going to prevent Wright from interfering)
What's poindexter got on this?

COACH
Poindexter? The man is a financial guru, he could buy and sell you twenty times over. Have some respect for a modern day Rockefeller!

RODEZ
Hey, ashy skull, mind your mouth.

When Wright nears the squared circle he tosses the brief case over the ropes, watching with delighted exhilaration as it lands sweetly in the hands of it's intended target Landon Maddix! A contorted evil grin corrupts Landon's face, as he views this simple case as the profound key to unlocking a treasure chest of riches and glory. His heart racing, his mind envisioning a high profile Anglemania match, Landon turns around to vanquish the COD members with his new found weapon.

[color="#696969"][B]CRAAAAAAACK![/B][/color]

[B]YEAAAAAAAA![/B]

Cheers? Did eighteen thousand people all of a sudden decide to become Landon Maddix loyalists? Not on your life! The pumping ovation is for Krista Isadora Duncan, who just bludgeoned her opponent with her baseball bat, knocking his chances at fortune into the upper deck

COLE
Eat your heart out Vladimir Guerrero!

With Wright's normally dark skin turned a shade of milky white and his body on the verge of fainting, Krista hooks her KO'ed rival's leg for the pivotal pinfall. At the urging of eighteen thousand screaming wrestling nerds, Charles Robinson turns away from a distraught Megan to score the fall.

CROWD
ONE


CROWD
TWO

Cortez returns to break up the pinfall!

But Alix mows him down with a dropsault!

CROWD
[color="#FF8C00"][B]THREE![/B][/color]

And with that final count so erupts a monstrous outpouring of cheers and applause for the oaoast's two favorite ladies, the victorious, Chicks Over Dicks. Were Maddix actually conscious to be aware of the misfortune that just swept over him, a shout of “NOOOO!” might drown all other noises. But, alas his comatose husk only sits in serene silence, unaware of the misery it will wake up to. [i]Girlfriend[/i] returns to the audio forefront of the venue, as the legendary ring announcer rises to officially proclaim the winner.

BUFFER
Your winner and still oaoast world tag team champions....CHIIICKS OVEERRRR DIIICCCCKKS!

Elsewhere Cortez, who has seemingly forgotten all about this loss, is leaning through the ropes lobbing vulgarities towards Leon Rodez. The Silky Smooth one simply directs a calm grin towards his enraged enemy, further angering The Urban Legend, who's itching for another fight. Back in the ring, Krista and Alix celebrate their victory in the most irresponsible way possible; they encourage front row audience members to “pitch” trash towards the ring, so Krista, still impersonating Vlad Guerreo, can blast the debris into the stands with her bat. Hello lawsuit!

COLE
Folks, a very exciting match and one with a great deal of repercussions. The Enterprise's scheme to purchase the tag titles, rather then compete for them at Anglemania, fails once more. But you can be sure Moneymaker and company are already on the look out for another team that can beat Chicks Over Dicks and grant their wish for easy tag title gold. Landon Maddix was promised the world, if he could deliver the belts to The Enterprise. But his mission went unaccomplished, and when it comes to Anglemania, he's on the outside looking in.

RODEZ
And he's out a guaranteed world title shot, and half a million dollars. Would love to say I feel sorry for the guy, but that would be a lie, and Leon Rodez ain't no liar, he's a bad mother...

COACH
Shut yo mouth!

RODEZ
I'm just talking 'bout shaft.

COACH
We can dig it!

RODEZ
Damn right.

COLE
Well, thanks once again to Leon Rodez for joining us out here tonight. We hope to see you at Anglemania, kicking Todd Cortez' BUTT.

RODEZ
My desire to not have to spend the rest of the year living in a box thanks to not collecting a single paycheck feels the exact same.