HD: 6 Person Tag + Promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following Six Person Tag Team Match is scheduled for one fall! In this match, it will be males against males, females against females with no intergender pairings. At this time, introducing the SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE for this contest. Making his return to an OAOAST ring for the first time in four and a half months... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN RRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"


[b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b]


"C'mon man"
"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..."

The crowd rightfully go nuts for the returning Rodez, even though he's already returned a few weeks ago and this in-ring return isn't for an actual match, as the sliding doors part and the zebra-striped Silky Smooth One emerges. Leon makes a slighty less big deal of his entrance than usual, trying to stay professional. Aside from a few slapped hands and a few winks to selected females, of course.

COACH
You know, maybe it's just me, but this don't seem right.

COLE
What could possibly be wrong about this Coach? Leon Rodez, returning to the ring, albeit in a refereeing capacity.

COACH
And you've got his possible AngleMania opponent on one side and his [i]sister[/i] on the other side. You can't tell the Coach that that ain't a conflict of interest.

Leon enters the ring and straightens up his stripes, professionally shaking hands with Michael Buffer. He stops short of asking for an autograph (a missed opportunity, surely!) and lounges in a corner. And as he loosens up his counting arm...


"REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!"

..."Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson fires through the P.A system. The mood is suitably killed as through the entrance way pile out first Todd Cortez, followed by Landon Maddix hand in hand with Megan Skye. Landon doesn't pose or posture tonight, looking as sullen as his usually sullen tag team partner. Maybe because of the referee for this match, maybe still mourning those 500,000 dollars he lost out on last week. Maybe both. Leading the way, Cortez locks eyes with Leon as he marches down the aisle with Leon quick to point out the referee shirt he's wearing to quell any plans of attack.

BUFFER
Introducing team number one! First, from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOOODD CCOOOOOOORRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZZ!! His partners... from Pawtucket, Rhode Island... MEGAN SSSKKYYYEEEEEE! And finally hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, eight pounds... LLLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXX!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Todd Cortez and Leon Rodez, in the same ring at the same time. This has the potential to explode at any minute, the OAOAST Board Of Directors taking a considerable risk in assigning Leon this post.

COACH
Well you know that Leon's been hassling everyone to get back into the ring. And he still hasn't got that doctor's clearance. They had to do something, I just don't get why it had to be refereeing his sister's match-up. Unless he... ya know, greased some palms.

COLE
You know as well as I do, Leon's not like that. Don't judge people by your own standards.

COACH
Is that a race joke? Cause if it is...

Landon leads Megan up the steps, keeping half an eye on Leon as well as his partner, having his own history with The Silky Smooth One of course. It's Cortez who everyone is keeping and eye on though as The Urban Legend squares up to Leon, no sign of the special referee backing down as he tries to explain the rules. The fact he's blanking him seems to rile Cortez up, but he's quickly dragged away and coaxed into calming down by Landon and Megan.

COLE
Well, we've said in the past that Landon and Cortez have a lot of history and there's a certain tension between them. That tension is pretty much solely down to their past feelings for Megan Skye. So this should be very interesting, to see how this trio actually functions without trying to throttle each other.


"JUST ONE ON ONE
THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!
JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!

JUST ONE ON ONE
THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!
JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!"

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

The boyband styling of A1's "First To Believe" bring the crowd to their feet again for their favourite six person trio. That may be because there's very few of them, or because they're so good looking. Or, again, maybe both. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and "Showtime" Shayne Brave emerge through the entrance way decked out in purple denim, a fine choice indeed, as it matches the ring attire of their inexperienced partner Ms. Jade Rodez! After enthusiastically waving down to her referee brother, which causes Landon to throw a fit at the unfairness of it all, Jade then points the way down the aisle for her team.

BUFFER
And introducing the opponents! First, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJAAAADDEEE RRRRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ! And, at a total combined weight of three hundred, eighty eight pounds. The reigning three-time HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER, "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

As the D*LUX trio make their way into the ring, Leon greets them all with handshakes. Which, again, sends Landon into a tizzy.

COACH
Come on! That ain't right Mikey, you can't condone that.

COLE
What? It's just a friendly good-luck handshake.

Leon promptly hugs his sister and Landon promptly tries to kick the bottom turnbuckle off it's hinges. Of course, that doesn't do much for his foot and he's left hobbling in pain.

COLE
Like I said, just a friendly good-luck hug, just like all the referees give.

COACH
Let's not get into your backstage dealing with Charles Robinson right now shall we?

An instant protest is put in by the Martial Law team at the favouritism, which Leon is forced to apologise for. His offer to make it fair by giving Megan a hug doesn't go down too well though. Still fuming, Landon steps towards Leon. But he quickly points out his referee stripes and wags a condescending finger at La Cucaracha, who looks in danger of his head exploding right about now.

"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"

Finally showing some professionalism, Leon demands one in from each team and two out. Megan quickly points Landon out of the ring and tries to convince Todd into doing the same. She's ready to go. As, conveniently enough, is Jade who doesn't take long to get her loyal team to follow her orders and go to the apron.

COLE
Looks like the ladies will be kicking us off. Jade Rodez up against former SWF Women's Champion, Megan Skye!

COACH
They had a Women's Title?

COLE
It was a passing phase.

COACH
So, like ours?


*DINGDINGDING!*

What better way than to avoid awkward questions than a bell?

On Leon's signal the bell sounds and Megan adopts a fighting stance as she comes out of her corner, Jade doing the same although a lot less convincingly. The two manager-come-wrestlers meet in the centre, at which point Megan throws a roundhouse kick. Jade just about manages to step out of the way, but the message clearly got across. A warning shot.

"MEG - AN SUCKS COCK!"
"MEG - AN SUCKS COCK!"
"MEG - AN SUCKS COCK!"

LANDON
SO!?

Amazingly, the defeated crowd shut up. Meanwhile back in the ring Jade and Megan cautiously move in again. Again Megan goes to throw a kick and Jade takes a step back, only for Megan to fake her out and instead re-time her strike... but again Jade manages to duck, retreating into her corner as her referee brother steps in and warns Megan about a 'closed boot'.

"LAN - DON SUCKS COCK!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS COCK!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS COCK!"

The smug smile on Landon's face evaporates now, as Megan dares Jade to lock-up if she's not keen on trading strikes. That seems a more sensible option and Jade takes it, as well as taking Megan's head into a side headlock. Jade cranks up on the headlock briefly but a sneaky tug on the hair causes her to shriek suddenly, losing his grip and allowing Megan to slide out the back, applying her own headlock! Leon has been in the ring long enough to guess what happened but didn't see the hairpull on his sister, Megan innocently claiming she did nothing wrong.

COLE
Skye, taking advantage of some bad positioning from our guest referee Leon Rodez there. Refereeing is an artform in itself you know.

The headlock doesn't last long as Jade fires off a couple of elbows to the gut, finding her way free and rushing into the ropes. A shoulder block knocks Megan down on the rebound. And as Megan holds the back of her head, Leon takes a moment to tease his sister about her weight.

Harsh, but it has to be done.

Still nursing the back of her head Megan decides it's for the best to tag out and backs into her corner. Landon quickly takes the tag before Todd and storms into the ring, to a chorus of boos! That forces Jade to tag out now, just as she was getting into her stride, bringing Shayne Brave into the match.

COLE
In comes Landon Maddix who's running out of time to make an impression on the AngleMania card. We imagine D*LUX will be there to defend their HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, but Landon may not be so lucky. So far every plan he's had has been hampered by someone or something.

Shayne and Landon circle briefly before tying up. Easily Landon gains the advantage, with the slightly questionable tactic of a knee to the breadbasket. Landon follows that up with a couple of forearms before whipping Shayne off into the ropes, setting for the rebound. Only for Shayne to skid through the legs with a baseball slide, popping up behind Landon and barging him in the back to send him to the ropes. Maddix accepts the hand dealt to him and builds up a head of steam, ducking through the leapfrogging legs of Shayne Brave and hitting the opposite ropes with a clothesline in mind. Before he gets there Shayne bottoms out though, forcing Landon up and over. It's clear Shayne is in control of the situation right now, rolling over and again forcing Landon to vault over him. Beginning to tire, Maddix slows down a little as he again hits the ropes, Shayne up and over with another leapfrog. And as he hits the ropes this time, Landon grips onto the top rope and calls for a timeout to catch his breath.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

The sound of thousands of people laughing at him doesn't shame Maddix, ducking through the ropes to force the timeout he needs. Shayne is having none of that though and grabs hold of Landon... 


...THUMB TO THE EYES!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Okay, that was pretty resourceful right there.

Still huffing and puffing, Landon untangles himself from between the ropes, brushing away referee Rodez...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and connecting with a knifedge chop to Shayne!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and a second! Followed up by a forearm, "Showtime" rocked now as Landon doubles over like he's just finished a marathon. Not for too long though, grabbing the arm and forcing Shayne into a little running. Shayne hits a neutral corner and comes stumbling back out, Landon connecting with an expert Dropsault and landing on his knees, the perfect place to strike a triumphant pose!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

LANDON
COUNT IT!


1...





2...





No!

LANDON
COME ON, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF COUNT WAS THAT!? ONE, TWO, THREE!

After his refereeing lesson is dished out, Landon pulls Shayne up and again sends him for an irish whip ride, this time into the ropes. Maddix ducks his head early... too early, allowing Shayne time to float over looking for a sunset flip. Waving his arms around Landon tries to maintain his balance, but eventually gravity takes it's course and he gets pulled down...

ONE, TWO, THR...NO!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

COACH
Wait a minute, what the hell!? What kind of a count was that!?

COLE
That's what Landon told him to do!

COACH
Not for him he didn't!

Furious at the fast count Landon storms to his feet and gets in Leon's face, Leon simply telling Landon that he's following his orders on how to count. In all the distraction, Landon forgets about Shayne and gets schoolboyed over...

ONE, TWO, THRE...NO!

Landon again scrambles to his feet, right into an armdrag which Shayne chains into an armbar for good measure. Megan and Landon continue to cry injustice over the count, Cortez keeping his head a little better but glaring a hole through the back of Leon's head.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

Bringing Maddix to his feet with the arm still barred, Shayne makes the tag to Tyler Bryant. Back to professional mode, Leon lays on the mandatory five count, while D*LUX whip Landon off into the ropes and connect with a boot to the gut a-piece. As Landon falls to his knees, the well-choreographed boybanders then back off opposite sides, coming back together...


...and fire off basement dropkicks in stereo, sandwiching La Cucaracha's head in between.

COLE
New Kicks On The Block!

COACH
This is pretty lax referring, to say the least.

COLE
D*LUX have five seconds to switch and they've done so. No wrong-doing there.

As Shayne exits the ring, Tyler rolls Landon onto his back and makes the cover...


1...





2...



Cortez breaks the count!

Leon points Cortez back to the apron and for a moment the air goes tense as the would-be AngleMania opponents come face to face. The icy glare from Cortez would scare most men but Leon stands up to him. And knowing he can't really do anything just yet, Todd exits back onto the apron.

COLE
I'm sure Leon is just itching to get his hands on Cortez, but he's going to have to wait and hope that he can do so at AngleMania.

COACH
You can say the same about Cortez though. He's going to be hoping that doctor's clearance comes through just like Leon, don't doubt that.

Back to the action, Tyler has controlled Landon with a headlock while Cortez was looming. Both men come up and Landon tries to escape the headlock with some shots to the kidneys. Eventually he manages to shoot Tyler off into the ropes, scooping him up on the way back. Tyler floats over and lands on his feet behind Maddix however, running him into the ropes with a waistlock, looking for an O'Connor roll. A simple grip of the top rope by Maddix leaves him empty-handed though, Tyler rolling through...


*SMACK!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

...and getting kicked straight and hard in the sternum!!

COLE
Boy, Landon really laid into Tyler with that one!

Having dealt with his opponent Landon now takes the opportunity to tag out to Todd Cortez, legal for the first time. Tyler pulls himself up and is clearly winded as Cortez stomps over and roughly muscles the boybander into a neutral corner. Quickly Leon lays a five count on and gets another icy glare from Todd, who brushes aside Tyler's guard... and just SMASHES him with a brutal forearm strike!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
That's about as clear of a message as you can get right there!

Leon gets the point, but doesn't let up on Cortez and continues to demand he get out of the corner. With Tyler down on his knees in the corner after that vicious forearm, Cortez does as he's told and drags him out. With half an eye on Leon at all times he then brings Tyler up, straddling him across a knee with the Crotch-Droppah. The Urban Legend then creates some space, before re-arranging "Tremendous" Tyler's pretty face with a straight Mafia Kick! It looks like the lights are on but nobody's home for Tyler, as Cortez makes a slow and deliberate cover, his deathly stare into Leon's eyes putting him off a little...


1...






2...






No!

Hauling Tyler up again, Cortez holds him by the hair. A big right hand staggers his opponent, as if he wasn't already, the grip on the hair keeping him upright however. Releasing the hair, Cortez now fires off a hard kick to the back of the hamstring, unsteadying Tyler's base. With a wind-up, Cortez then looks for a big Laria...


...NO! Tyler ducks the clothesline, forcing Cortez to keep on going, rebounding off the ropes in front of him and getting cut off with a desperation lunging clothesline from Tyler Bryant!

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

COLE
We've seen time and time again that D*LUX have a lot of heart and that they're built for go, not just for show. And Tyler Bryant showed it just there, clearly dazed as he hit that move.

Both men stay down and almost in unison they decide that with fresh bodies on the apron, they may as well use them. Crawling over to their corners, Cortez and Tyler both reach out together, Leon keeping an eye on both sides as the hands connect...


...tag to Landon...



...AND A TAG TO... Jade?

COACH
This ain't good.

COLE
No no, Landon got the tag first! That means either Tyler or Shayne has to be in.

That technicality isn't going to stop Jade though as she marches past her brother and fearlessly towards Landon. Unsurprisingly the two-time SWF World Champion laughs at the prospect of facing a mere girl. Until that is she shoves him in the chest. Landon takes that as even more of an insult that her moxy alone and pulls up his elbowpad ready to go...


...but Megan beats him to it, negating any disqualification as she spears Jade down!

COACH
CATFIIIIIIIIIGHT!

COLE
Coach, please. We have enough lawsuits around here as it is.

Megan mounts Jade and starts to swing wildly with some punches, which Leon is powerless to do anything more than stand back and watch. Technically Megan isn't legal, but technicalities have meshed together and who is legal in the match now is anyone's guess. So Leon decides to just let it all go, having to avoid Landon as he rushes the ring and knocks Shayne Brave off the apron.

"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"

Dragging the youngest Rodez sibling around roughly by the hair, Megan shows her vicious side as she slaps her upside the head. A hard push then sends Jade into a corner, Megan following in and holding the top rope for balance as she lays in a hard kick! A loud groan is succeeded by a coughing fit from Jade, the air knocked out of her. Megan isn't done yet though, connecting with another straight kick. Having enough of this, Leon steps in and performs both refereeing duties and those of a big brother, dragging Megan off of his sister. But that distracts him, as Landon suddenly finds himself with a free path to charge AND CLOTHESLINE JADE IN THE CORNER!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Come on, that should be a disqualification!

COACH
Too bad Leon's out of position again.

COLE
Yeah, because Megan's virtually grappling him out of view of what's going on!

Jade slumps in the corner after the clothesline, as Landon smirks to himself. And then, for some reason, he drops like a stone, complete prone. And with his legs wide open, he begins to motion for Jade to fall.

COLE
...the hell?

COACH
I think I know what this is Mikey! And I likes it!

As Megan continues to tie referee Leon up, Landon begins to get more and more frantic with his hand motions as he waits for the never-old 'accidental headbutt' spot to occur. 


Only, Jade isn't falling.

LANDON
Damnit... TODD! TODD, GET HER!!

He probably doesn't know why, but he probably doesn't care. Todd simply sees an opening and takes it, charging headlong across the ring with Jade in his sights. Diving through the air he performs a nifty little twist and flies BUTT-first towards Jade in the corner...



...but Jade MOVES, Cortez driving his Flying Asshole hard into the turnbuckles!! And before Landon knows what's happening, the winded Cortez begins to fall...






*WHAM!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Oh noooo.

COLE
Oh, MY!

Landon gets the headbutt he wanted. But chances are, he didn't want Todd Cortez's head buried in his crotch. The involuntary muscle tightening that Landon experiences makes him sit up and grab Cortez's head, making the image that much more embarrassing, Cortez having to prise himself out from between his tag team partner (for life?)'s legs.

"LAN - DON LIKED IT!"
*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!*
"LAN - DON LIKED IT!"
*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!*

COACH
Now that's just uncalled for.

Both Cortez and Maddix roll out of the ring, The Urban Legend instantly seeking a bottle of water from ringside. Meanwhile Jade has slumped back into the corner, trying to catch her breath. Megan finally drags herself away from referee Rodez and targets competitor Rodez, that being Jade, running into the corner... and suffering a similar fate to Cortez, her elbow attempt finding nothing but turnbuckles. And weakly, she collapses...



*WHAM!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

...AND INADVERTANTLY HEADBUTTS [B]LEON[/B]'S LOWER EXTREMETIES!?!?

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
:D

COACH
How the hell did he end up there!?

Worried, Jade helps her brother up. But despite the fact he's clearly limping, Leon is SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR as he insists he's okay. And to demonstrate his point, he gives a thumbs up to camera while nursing his... well, ya know.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

COLE
Only Leon Rodez ladies and gentlemen!

COACH
Talk about your abuse of power! This has got to go down to a review panel or something after this, that's a physical attack on a female competitor?

COLE
How do you figure that!?

COACH
Well, by all accounts, he could have put her eye ou...

COLE
OKAY OKAY! Let's not go there.

COACH
Oh you know you'd love to go ther...

COLE
Are we going to have to cut your mic?

COACH
(sheepishly) I'll behave.

The action continues! Jade presses Megan up against the ropes with a succession of forearms, dazing her enough to attempt an irish whip. A reversal from Megan sends Jade for the ride however, Megan crouching down and measuring Jade on the way back for a CHICK KICK... DUCKED! Jade avoids the kick, ending up behind Megan and applying a Cobra Clutch. The execution is far from perfect. But it doesn't matter much when she then drags Megan back and DOWN across the knee with a Backbreaker!!

COLE
Cobra Clutch into a Backbreaker! How about that from Jade Rodez!

Brushing Megan over onto her back, Jade makes the cover and her brother is right there to count...


1...







2...






NO!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Climbing back up, Jade lets out a roar as she encourages Megan to get back to her feet. Even Leon seems a little surprised at the intensity of his little sis'. Slowly Megan begins to limp back up, clutching at her lower back as Jade lies in wait. As Megan turns, Jade then grabs hold of her by the blonde locks... but gets a knee to the stomach to cut her off.

COACH
Not much big brother can do about that.

As Jade doubles over, Megan quickly hops up onto the middle rope, ready for the Tornado DDT...




...pausing for a moment as Shayne Brave comes darting into shot AND SOARS THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A TOPÉ, WIPING OUT MADDIX AND CORTEZ!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
WOW!

COACH
D*LUX can flip and fly all they want Michael, they can't do anything about Megan though!

And Coach is absolutely correct, as Megan clears her mind of her partners fates and focuses on hers. Front facelock applied, Megan springs off the middle rope and swings Jade around looking for the Skye Lyte... NO! Jade pushes Megan off! However, Megan lands safely on her feet, connecting with a hard kick to the gut to once again double Jade up. Again the front facelock is the next port of call, but this time Megan simply drops and executes a traditional DDT, planting Jade face-first!

COACH
That's it! She got her, no way little Jade kicks out!

Megan sure hopes so, as she makes the cover, Leon having to put everything aside...


1...



COACH
Leon's going to have to count his own sister down!



2...




COACH
The irony is so deliciou...



NO! ONLY TWO!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

COLE
'Little Jade' kicks out!

Out on the floor, Tyler Bryant joins the brawl on the floor and D*LUX, Landon and Cortez slug it out, leaving the women to hopefully take care of business. Right now it's Megan who looks most likely to do that, scooping and slamming Jade before heading out of the ring, in search of the top rope.

COLE
Megan Skye going to the sky! A bit of a risky move for a quote-un-quote part-timer to be taking perhaps.

Megan seems comfortable enough though, reaching the high-rent district as Jade begins to climb back up. That forces Megan to wait a few extra seconds for Jade to reach her feet, before finally setting herself. Jade turns around in search of Skye, to his credit not being helped by Leon, as Jade finally finds Megan just in time to see her soaring down with the Skye Dive (Top Rope Crossbody)...



...connects...







...BUT THE MOMENTUM SWITCHES AND JADE WINDS UP ON TOP...


1...








2...







3-
NO!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

COLE
Boy, how close was that?

COACH
Something tells me big bro isn't going to be able to go halves on a Mother's Day present anymore once this match is over.

In a scene you don't see every day, Jade questions her own brother's count. Which is a little bit naive with Megan having not taken an actual offensive move, reaching up and jabbing Jade in the stomach to regain the advantage from her back. Megan scuttles to her feet and hooks Jade up once more in the front facelock, this time looking to execute a suplex. Dropping to her knees, Jade manages to block the move though. And what's more she starts to return the favour on Megan, punching her in the midsection until she lets go and doubles over.

JADE
THAT'S IT!!

"YYYAAAAAAAYYYYY!"

Calling for the end, Jade lines Megan up, motioning her ill-placed brother out of the way as she makes for the ropes. Leon just about gets out of the way in time, as Jade hits the ropes...




...BUT ALSO SHAYNE BRAVE, who had just began to climb onto the apron!!

COLE
OH! A collision!

Thinking quickly, Landon lunges and drags Shayne off of the apron to the floor. And meanwhile, Jade goes stumbling forward, her run diminished to a stutter now which gives time to Megan to set herself...




*SMACK!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

...AND CONNECT WITH THE CHICK KICK!!

COLE
Chick Kick! Right in the side of the head, Jade is out!

COACH
And there's nobody to save!!

Landon and Cortez continue to brawl with D*LUX on the floor, Landon keeping Shayne from making up for his accidental assist in the Chick Kick. 

As meanwhile, Megan drops on top of Jade and hooks the leg, Leon wanting to check if his sister is okay and conscious rather than count right now. Which he admirably does...


1...







2...







COACH
Go ahead, go ahead...




3!!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

*DINGDINGDING!*

Leon calls for the bell with as much frustration as you're likely to see from him, which isn't a whole lot but noticable at least. His attention then turns to checking on Jade, as Megan quickly rolls from the ring to be retrieved by Landon. The SWF's Power Couple embrace on the outside, while Cortez deals with the last little fighting off of D*LUX post-match before joining Landon and Megan on their way out.

BUFFER
Here are your winners... the team of LANDON MADDIX, TODD CORTEZ and MEGAN SSSKKKYYYYEEEE!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Knelt over his sister, Leon watches as the Megan/Landon/Cortez trio walk off, Landon predictably soaking up the victory and rubbing it in Leon's face. Cortez remains much more focused, but the faintest hint of a smile can be seen as he points at Leon and mouths that one word. 

[i]'AngleMania'[/i].

COLE
Well, an unfortunate collision between Jade and Shayne Brave cost D*LUX and Jade here tonight and Landon, Megan and Cortez profit. Not a great return for Leon Rodez, as he has to count his sister's shoulders down. I guess that blew away your conspiracy theories there Coach?

COACH
Yeah, sure. He counted the fall, good for him. But the real story is that man staring him down. I think that look says it all. If Leon does get cleared to compete, that could be him at AngleMania, courtesy of Todd Cortez.

As D*LUX pile back into the ring Leon sits his sister up, apologising for having to count the fall. Jade seems understanding enough as she groggily pulls herself up. But as D*LUX try to help her stay on her feet, Jade kinda swipes them away, looking a little frustrated as Shayne tries to apologise. Apparantly with a splitting headache Jade isn't the mood for this just now and leaves the ring alone, Leon quickly following to try and further commiserate her.


[b]Commercial Break[/b]

[King Cucaracha 0]

We're taken backstage were a number of production workers and various jobbers and characters who rarely appear on screen are milling about, wasting the company's money. Standing near a catering table, and looking like the phunkest of playas, the purest of pimps, is Ned Blanchard, attired in a black rimmed sunglasses, blue sports coat, jeans, white dress shirt and pink tie. Go on boy! In his hands sits a cup of Kool-Aid, which is quickly spilled down his throat. Anger ensues from the three time OAOAST Tag Team Champion....

NED (to a nearby Production intern)
You call this sugar free Kool-Aid, man?

PRODUCTION INTERN
OH YEAH! Heh.

NED
Excuse me!?

PRODUCTION INTERN
Uhm, I mean... that's what it says on the box, sir.

NED
I don't care what the box says, dumbass! My taste buds say this is sugar loaded crap! Look at this body, man, it's a temple, a monument to human perfection, and only the finest beverages can grace it's hallowed halls. Just because you treat your body like a garbage dump, and throw any thing you dig out the dumpster in there, does not mean I want to do the same. You know what? You're fired, bro! Take a hike!

PRODUCTION INTERN (protesting despite the fact Ned has no authority to fire anyone)
But sir!

The intern places a hand on Ned's shoulder to plea for mercy. Not a good idea!

NED
Don't touch me, bro! This is a temple! A mecca of beauty! That's assault. That's sacrilegious what you're doing. Just walk away, bro. Walk away!

PRODUCTION INTERN
Please...you can't fire me! I need this job for college credit!

Ned gives the lowly worker a final reminder that his word is law when he chucks the contents of his glass onto the kid's face. The poor intern breaks down in tears, red Kool-Aid streaming down his gaunt face.

NED (pointing)
Door's that a-way, bro! Use it!

Not wishing to endure a beating in addition to his termination, the weeping intern scampers off, never to be seen again. Blanchard isn't offered a moment to gloat over his cruelty, as a despondent Jade Rodez, not paying any attention to her surroundings, bumps into from behind. Muttering under her breath about her recent loss, she doesn't even attempt an apology, only searching for a way past to Ned. However the studly brawler has little intention of letting her pass without first chastising her for hitting him, and then laying his game down.

NED
Ow! Crap! Watch your step..you.....you....wonderfully beautiful human being. Wouldn't want you to bump into a wall and scar that pretty little face.

Jade sneers a little. This isn't the first time Ned's tried to put his proverbial 'mack' down on her and it's not the first time she's not in the mood for it.

JADE
You paused there. Are you sure you weren't going to say watch your step you dumb bimbo, cause that seems more like something someone like you would say.

NED
I'd never talk about a gorgeous lady like that. Never. Not in my life. Unless of course she happens to be my kid's mother.

Jade curls her fists into balls as if she was ready to slug Ned in the jaw.

JADE
Watch your mouth about Krista!

NED (smirking)
Sorry, I didn't realize she was such a sensitive topic for you.

JADE
Yeah, it's a sens...no....it's..it's not that. She's my friend, that's all, and I don't like it when people like you insult my friend. How would you like it if I started going off on Simon's little Richard jeri curl, and his stupid 1980's Miami Vice wardrobe?

NED
Aside from wondering how an eighteen year old knows those sort of references, I'd like it just fine! Hell, I say that same stuff to him everyday. I say Simon, I don't care how much you style that hair of your's, bro, you're never getting that spot as Michael in the Jackson 5 coverband. Let it go.

JADE
Well then, I guess I'm just a better friend then you are. Or maybe Krista's a better friend to me than you are to Simon which I wouldn't doubt from everything I know about you.

NED
Yeah, I guess you got something there. When Krista ain't trying to extort millions of dollars out of you for child support, on the basis of an inclusive DNA test, she can be kind of a fun chick to hang with. In a crude kind of way. You must have had a killer time at the Oscars with her and Alix...

JADE (gazing at Ned with a puzzled expression)
What are you talking about?

NED
They took you the Oscars, right? 

Jade just kinda looks blank.

NED
No? Well, you know, those invites are really hard to come buy, even if Krista's aunt is on the voting committee. I'm sure they had other people who they wanted to take instead of you. No big deal, it's only one day out of 365. Krista's good friends with Angelina Jolie, so I bet you get to chill with her and Brad all the time, right? I bet he has some hilarious stories to tell about Jennifer Aniston.

JADE
Well...no not exactly.

NED
So, no on Krista? Boy, now I just feel bad for bringing it up. I figured, seeing as she's your friend. You know what, she's not a share and share alike type woman anyway. But, Alix, she's a fun loving girl, as all those pictures on various Internet sites can attest to. I know you must be hitting the parties hard with her. Tell me who you've met, Paris, Lindsay, Jessica? Don't be shy, girl! Dish to the Ned man, I gotta know what's up!

JADE
Actually the only time I really get to meet anyone famous is when Melody takes me to sci-fi conventions and we get to pose for a picture with Beverly Crusher from [i]Star Trek[/i]. For twenty dollars of course. I usually have to loan Mel the money.

Trying his best not to bust out laughing, Ned shakes his head sadly.

NED
Oh man, is that lame! Well, you know, I'd still stick my test tube in Doctor Crusher's bunson burner, but as for you, that is the very definition of lame.

JADE (sighing)
Thanks a lot.

NED
Don't take offense, I'm just being honest with you. I guess Alix and Krista don't want a kid cramping their style. I don't know, can you down a whole bottle of tequila through a hobo's tube sock while reciting the Pledge Of Allegiance? Because if not, that might be why. The papers may say different, but that's what ruined our relationship.

Not in the mood to begin with, Jade sighs. Very audibly.

NED
Look, if you were [i]my[/i] friend, you'd hit all the hot spots, in every city around the country. You'd be on the VIP list for every poppin club in North America. No COD bar crawls either, I'm talking the classiest joints there are. Fine wine, expensive champagne, civilised conversation. That's just the way the Ned man does it for his people. If I'm living the good life, you're living the [i]great life[/i]. If I'm up, you gotta be higher. If I got a million, you gotta have two million. That's the way I am. And, hey, it don't hurt that Teddy's pocket book is basically the key to every scene to be seen in town. Jade, trust me when I say life is fabulous when you got Moneymaker on your team. It's like every morning when I wake up, a pot of gold falls straight on my head. You have not lived until you've had your shoes shined with a fifty, and your cigar lighted with a hundred. It's like an entirely new world opens up to you, and it would take three lifetimes to explore even half of it. The way I see it, there's billions of people alive in this world today, but there are only six people who are truly [i]living[/i]. And they're all part of The Enterprise. It's one thing to drink yourself into oblivion and kill every braincell you have with various narcotics, but that's not living. That's not rich living. That's not rewarding, like my life and the lives of my friends. That's the kind of life the friends of Krista Isadora Duncan can only dream of, while they're living the E! Hollywood's Most Disgraced Celebrities lifestyle.

Ned notices a distinct frown appear on Jade's face, and makes a weak attempt to cheer her up.

NED
I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything.

JADE
Hold on, Ned, I have fun too.

Ned can't help but laugh at the perceived absurdity of this statement.

NED
Doing what? Covering for those New Kids on the block, B2K, fools' complete stupidity. No offense to your boys, they've had a good run, they gave me and Si a few fits, and they're a nice little lower card attraction, next to NRG or something. But let's be real with each other. They've peaked at the rank of HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. When matched with top flight competition, as evidenced tonight, their hearts turn softer then an ice cream sundae in an Arizona desert. They just don't have [i]'it'[/i].

JADE
Yeah, well, they seemed to have [i]'it'[/i] when they beat you over the summer!

NED
And yet, they dropped out of the Anderson Cup to yours truly. As they say in this crazy mixed up industry, even the dumbest squirrel finds a nut sometimes. Beating the Beverly Hills Blonds is like finding the entire Planters factory. But I hope they recorded that moment on mint condition VHS or DVD-R because as far as I'm concerned they'll never see their hands raised in victory at our expense again. 

JADE
You're pretty arrogant about your team there Ned, considering.

NED
Arrogant? No, Jade, just confident and when you're a four time tag team champion and have the backing of a billion dollar heir behind you, you've earned the right to a little confidence.

JADE
Four time [i]former[/i] tag team champion.

NED
That just brings me that bit closer to five, baby.

JADE
...so?

NED
So? So, how about this, Anglemania, the biggest show of the year, why don't we treat the fans to a match they actually want to see, The Beverly Hills Blonds against D*LUX? No grudge, no hatred this time. Just a fair, athletic competition over those HI-YAH Titles?

After all of 0.00000001 seconds of consideration Jade gives her reply.

JADE
Alright, let's do it.

NED
Now, I know what you're thinking, Ned you're crazy, I'll never agree to that matc....wait....you said yes? You did say yes! That's fantastic! Hey, Moneymaker has got the lawyers with him 24/7, why don't we head back to The Enterprise lockeroom, have some fine wine, listen to some fine music and let's get this contract drawn up the proper way.

JADE
Gee, I don't know if I really share your taste in music what with you being so [i]old[/i] and all.

NED
Are you sure? Because Justin's only in the area for a limited time period.

JADE
:O
Ju... Justin? As in, Justin Timberlake?

NED
Of course. S'just Justin. He's a close personal friend of The Handsome Hustler's. Good kid. Just between you and me, he's got a special set ready for Mama Blanchard on Mother's Day, should be a blast. Hush hush, obviously. As far as tonight, technically it's invite only, but I'm sure he'll be willing to make an exception for a big fan such as yourself. And anyway, maybe it's best if you leave D*LUX behind. This is pure brain work, for the sophisticated folk. They wouldn't be interested.

JADE (smiling at being called sophisticated folk)
Oh... yeah, I... agree... most definitely.

And with that the duo the head off towards The Enterprise locker room to engage in a pivotal contract signing.