WWF Royal Rumble 1993

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Live from the Arco Arena in Sacramento, California.

 

-Commentators are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

 

-Opening Match:

Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner) Vs. The Beverly Brothers (Beau & Blake):

For the record, the Steiner's debuted BEFORE this show, so I better not here "They made their wrestling debut in WWF at the 1993 Royal rumble." Little Problem, I ACCIDENTALLY taped over the first minute or so of the match. Remember Wild & Crazy Kids? LOL. We cut to the Beverly Brothers stalling on the outside after an ass kicking. Scott Steiner starts with Blake. Rick gets all uppity and chases Beau. Rick in and knocks Beau of the apron, so Blake kicks him around in the corner. Powerslam from an Irish Whip by Beverly, but Rick catches him in a leap frog, and slams him. Rick with an armbar on the mat and Scott tags in, nailing a belly to belly suplex. Scott goes for the Double underhook suplex but Beau clotheslines him out of his shoes. Blake with a backbreaker and Beau tags in and connects with an axhandle off the 2nd turnbuckle. Beau with a backbreaker for 2 and Blake tags back in, nailing a headbutt to the shoulder. Beau in again and hammers on the back and works in a few punches. Blake with the tag rope (where are they now) and chokes Scott with it. Double underhook by Beau for 2. Scott eats boot and Blake tags back in. Blake with the Boston Crab, Steiner try's powering out but Beau elbow drops his head to stop him. Blake sets up for a suplex but Scott reverses it. Beau gets in to stop the tag and works on Steiner in the corner. Irish Whip and Rick with a Underhook Suplex and Rick gets the hot tag and goes nuts on Blake. Huge Back Body Drop and a Belly to Back suplex. Rick with a clothesline to both Beverly's and gets a 2 count on Blake. Scott gets pissed and goes for the 10 punches but Blake from behind sets him up for the Beverly Device, but it misses. Irish whip and Scott with the frankensteiner on Blake for the win at around 10:10 or so. I'm guessing since I cut part of the tape. Match was *, just something to put over the Steiners.

 

-On the Superstar line is Alfred Hayes with the Steiners, Bushwhackers, and Nasty Boys.

 

-Shawn Michaels/Marty Jannetty Video package. It started out with them being a tag team but on an episode of The Barber Shop, Shawn threw Marty face first through a glass window, putting him out of action until late 1992. Marty showed up from the crowd and laid a beatdown on Shawn. He went to hit him with his heart shaped mirror, but accidentally hit Sherri (after Shawn pulled her in front).

 

-WWF-Intercontinental Championship Match:

"HBK" Shawn Michaels © Vs. Marty Jannetty (Sherri will be in a neutral corner):

Shawn comes to the ring wearing some kickass entrance attire, basically all Gold, which Heenan compliments it goes with his championship belt. Shawn's theme is Still sung by Sherri. I think it was changed after this PPV. Shawn is called the wrestler of the 90's by Monsoon. Monsoon tries stirring up shit between Sherri & Michaels. Shawn takes FOREVER to take off all his accessories. Marty clocks Shawn with a roundhouse and a chase ensues. Jannetty catches Shawn with his head down and slams it into the mat. Irish whip to the corner and Shawn with a flair flip and walks into an atomic drop followed by a knee lift to the floor. Shawn gets seesawed into the ring and clotheslined back over the top to the floor. Marty with a dive through the ropes onto Michaels to break up the count. Marty goes to the top rope and comes down with a flying first, which Michaels sells with a 360 spin. Marty goes for it again and gets nailed with a fist to the head. Shawn scoops him up and rams his RIGHT shoulder into the post which is the wrong shoulder so Marty tells him to ram his left shoulder into it this time. Shawn tosses Marty back in the ring and scores a Shoulderbreaker and a series of roundhouse's to his left shoulder. Shawn on the outside with a running axhandle and a slam on the floor. Shawn with an armbar now and hammers his shoulder some more. Shawn takes Marty and whips his shoulder into the buckle and nails an axhandle to it. Heenan says if he was Shawn he would piledrive Marty on the steel steps. Shawn took that advice at Badd Blood in 1997. Shawn works in a armringer from a camel clutch and Marty taps out 4 years before it was a rule. Marty tries fighting out and does so but gets caught with a single arm DDT for 2. Shawn gets nailed with a series of roundhouses and Shawn rakes the eyes and slams him. Shawn from the 2nd rope gets caught with a boot and both men are down. Shawn goes for the corner tackle and rams HIS shoulder into the ring post. Talk about psychology. Shawn scores a few rights and goes psycho. Shawn throws him to the floor and goes for a suplex. Marty reverses it and suplex Shawn from inside the ring all the way to the floor, a rare move EVEN today. Sherri goes to check on Shawn and slaps him silly. Marty with a back suplex from the apron for 2. Irish Whip to the buckle and Shawn clears it like Mr. Perfect would. Shawn eats steel ring steps on the outside and Marty with a powerslam. He goes to the top and fakes a fist drop and catches Shawn with a HUGE DDT for 2. The Crowd is going nuts. Marty with an Irish whip and ducks the superkick and nails his own for 2! Sunset flip is blocked by marty for 2 and slingshots Shawn into the ring post and rolls him up again for 2!! Shawn accidentally nails the referee but Marty locks him in the full nelson, signaling Sherri to come in. She takes her shoe and goes to hit Shawn but misses and Marty takes the shot. Shawn picks up Marty and nails the superkick to retain the title at 14:20. ****. After the match Sherri gets punked out backstage by Shawn, but Marty makes the save and a brawl erupts.

 

-Rev. Slick comments on the WWF Headlock on Hunger event in New York City. Slick goes on talking about the children in Somalia. Monsoon afterwards tells everyone the wrong phone number, but gives the right one to us later on.

 

-Big Boss Man vs. Bam Bam Bigelow:

Bam bam just returned a few months previous and this is gonna be like the opening match. Does anyone ever remember Bigelow being a top baby face in 1987-1988? Bigelow's theme is him saying Bam Bam a lot. Boss Man was on his way out by now and was doing the job as often as possible. Bigelow jumps Boss Man from behind and scores a few forearms and an avalanche in the corner. Bigelow hammers the back a lot. Heenan calls Boss Man a Meter Maid and Monsoon brings up the Boss Man's momma incident. Bigelow throws Boss Man to the floor while I ramble. Irish whip and Boss Man with a  series of clotheslines putting the big man down. Boss Man with a series of rights with his taped fist. Bigelow with a back suplex and misses a headbutt and Boss Man punches more. Bigelow backdrops Boss Man over the top rope to the floor to stall even more time. Back in and Bam Bam Continues to kick Boss Man in the back. Bigelow with a bearhug and Boss Man is no selling it. Boss Man breaks out and gets stun gunned off an Irish whip for 2. Bigelow back to the bearhug from behind. Boss Man fights back and scores a half-assed Suplex and Bigelow follows suit with a  headbutt to the kidneys. Boss Man with a series of rights and a back body drop(!) on the big man from Asbury Park, NJ. Boss Man with the splash in the second rope. Boss Man slides to the floor and nails a roundhouse right. Irish whip and Bigelow makes Boss Man eat but and a clothesline. Bigelow to the top rope and comes down with the Headbutt for the win at 10:10. DUD. 1 or 2 ACTUAL wrestling moves in the whole match.

 

-Highlights of Razor Ramon whooping Owen Hart's ass on Mania on Saturday, calling him "Rosket."

 

-Razor Ramon with an interview from the night before during a Sacramento Kings game.

 

-Mean Gene is backstage with Bret Hart before the Title Match. Bret Hart says its personal thing. Why does Bret have to defend his family all the time? Can't Owen or Stu do it for once?

 

-WWF-World Championship Match:

Bret "Hitman" Hart © Vs. Razor Ramon:

Bret Hart is a miracle worker if he can make this a 3 star + match. Ramon is fairly new in the WWF (only debuting in October).  Ramon tosses his toothpick at the kid who receives Bret's sunglasses. Stu & Helen are in the front row.

Bret gets pissed and hammers Ramon with some roundhouse rights. Ramon with his own takes the advantage. Ramon with some knee lifts in the corner and an Iris Whip to the buckle. Bret dodges a knee charge and kicks at the left knee of ramon stomping on it. Bret locks on the figure four leglock 1 minute into the match. Ramon makes the ropes and forces Bret to release the hold. Bret takes down Ramon and scores an elbow to the thigh repeatedly. Bret kicking Razor in the leg and takes him down again, ramming his leg into the steel post in front of his parents. Heenan imitates Stu by saying  "Eya....ah.....ah.....ah.!" and Monsoon works in "will you Stop?" Ramon wit a knee lift and Irish whips Hart so hard he slides into the ring post ribs first. Ramon works Bret over on the floor and tosses him into the ring. Ramon drops an elbow to the back several times and stomps away at his midsection. Bret eats some buckle with some extra stink on it. Ramon with the fallaway Slam as Helen looks like she's crying. Stiff Buckle Irish Whip by Ramon for 2. Ramon works in a move rarely seen today, the abdominal stretch. Bret reverses but gets hip tossed. Ramon with a shoulderblock for 2. Ramon rams Bret face first into the mat. Bret with a  cross body press for 2 but gets tosses to the floor. Bret with a sunset flip blocked for 2, but he reverses it back for a 2 of his own. Ramon with a rear chinlock now. and a bearhug of doom. Bret breaks free and backdrops Ramon to the floor. Its the RR so its customary. Bret with a dive onto Ramon through the 2nd rope and forces him to eat steps. Is it Pescado the dive through the ropes btw? Bret hammers away and scores a 10 punches of doom several times. Bret with a series of roundhouses finally knock Ramon down. Clothesline by Bret scores a 2. Bret with a back breaker and 2nd rope clothesline for another 2 count. Running Bulldog from the corner for 2 again. Russian Leg Sweep for 2!! Bret goes for the sharpshooter but Ramon gets the ropes. Bret pulls him away but Ramon blocks it. Ramon some shots to the kidneys. Bret with a backsuplex. 2nd rope elbow is stopped with a boot to the kisser of Hart. Ramon goes for the Razors Edge but Bret blocks it and scores a backslide for 2. ramon with a test of strength and whip to the buckle Bret with a sunset flip pin for 2. Both men are down and Bret locks the Sharpshooter lying down and Ramon is forced to submit at 17:58. Bret retains the title! ***1/2. Bret celebrates in the ring afterwards.

 

-On the superstar line now is Big Boss Man (holding up a sign saying Hi Mom, Marty Jannetty, Bret Hart & Owen Hart.  

 

-Bobby Heenan unveils "The Narcissist" Lex Luger. He poses for a few minutes while Heenan creams his pants. I don't think anyone knew it was Lex Luger. This gimmick was GREAT but Vince fucked it up turning Luger into Mr. USA. I swear Crush would have been much better off with the gimmick since he was much more over as a face at the time.

 

-"Julius Caesar" and "Cleopatra" open up the Royal rumble Match stating the winner gets a shot at the title at Wrestlemania IX.

 

-WWF Royal Rumble Match:

#1 Ends up being "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. #2 is Bob Backlund (who at the time I didn't know who he was). Flair gives us a whooo after Backlund offers a handshake. Backlund with a  headlock and shoulderblock. Heenan says how much you wanna bet 1 of them will be there at the end of the match. First time he was actually right. Backlund with some funky leg sweeps. Flair with some cheap shots and chops in the corner. Backlund with a backdrop and atomic drop. #3 is Papa Shango. He goes to work on Backlund and chokes him in the ropes and nails a series of headbutts. Flair from behind and he dumps Shango after about 25 seconds. Flair try's tossing Backlund but can't get him off the apron. Backlund and Flair exchange some punches for a while. #4 is Ted Dibiase. He hammers on Backlund and scores an elbow. Flair and him double team Backlund and Heenan coins the phrase "Can you get arrested for beating up the elderly" and calls Backlund "Opie" from The Andy Griffith show. Both heels try tossing him. double elbow by Dibiase & Flair. More old man jokes about sitting in a rocking chair and eating soft foods. #5 is Brian Knobbs and he goes crazy. He tosses Flair but he lands on the apron. Knobbs with a double clothesline and a series of punches to Dibiase. Flair back in and he rakes the eyes of Knobbs. Backlund up and he sends Flair to the buckle while Knobbs hammers Dibiase. The Heels try tossing Knobbs and Backlund makes the save. Knobbs gives Dibiase the Pitstop. #6 is Virgil and Dibiase goes to work on him. Virgil an atomic drop and does a little boxing. Virgil & Knobbs with a back body drop on Dibiase. Knobbs works over Dibiase more and misses a clothesline and sails to the floor.

Flair hammers on Backlund who is perched on the 2nd rope for some reason. #7 is Jerry "The King" Lawler, who is making his PPV Debut in the WWF. Lawler attacks Virgil until Flair lays a few chops in forcing Lawler to lay a beating on him. Virgil and Dibiase continue a little mini match until Lawler breaks it up. #8 is Max Moon. He goes after Jerry Lawler & Ric Flair for some reason. A Drop-kick by Moon to Lawler, and Flair with a rake to the eyes when he gets up. Moon scores a back body drop on Flair. Flair try's tossing him but Moon hangs on and continues pounding Flair. Eye rake to Lawler and he sends him to the buckle. Moon with an Irish Whip on Lawler to the buckle and nails a heel kick, he misses a second and spills to the floor. #9 is Tenryu and no one cares. Flair & him exchange chops for a while. Virgil with the 10 punches of doom to Lawler. #10 is Mr. Perfect who gets a crazy pop. flair with an eye poke and chops, and Perfect with some chops of his own. Knee Lift by Perfect and a slam followed by the necksnap. Flair with more cheap shots and works in his 100th chop of the night. Perfect no sells and gives him more chops. Perfect with the 10 punches in the corner now and try's tossing out Flair. #11 is Skinner. Skinner attacks Perfect helping Flair double team him. Perfect reverses an Irish Whip and clotheslines Flair over the top rope to the floor. Actually he pushed him by the face but he meant for a clothesline. Lawler goes for Perfect now and works In a  choke. Virgil interrupts that. Skinner from behind goes for Perfect. And Perfect gives Lawler the battering ram with Skinners head. #12 is MC Hammers pants with Koko B. Ware in them. Koko goes after Tenryu for no reason and lays in a few headbutts. I shiver to think of Koko B. Ware main eventing WM IX. Perfect try's tossing Skinner but he holds onto the ropes, but Perfect scores a running drop-kick to eliminate him. #13 is Headshrinker Samu and gets thrown in by Afa. Samu attacks Virgil and Backlund then hammer Ware and Perfect with headbutts. Koko steps on his foot to stop him. Dibiase with a knee lift to virgil. this ring needs some serious cleaning up. Backlund & Perfect try tossing each other with old school techniques. #14 is The Berzerker and he just hammers everyone for a while. Perfect eliminates Lawler and Dibiase & Ware team up to dump Perfect with the help of Lawler, at the same time Berzerker boots Virgil out as well. #15 is The Undertaker. He quickly chokeslams out samu and back drops out Tenryu. #16 is Terrific Terry Taylor. He attacks koko B. Ware of all people and Dibiase is kind enough to dump both men. Undertaker catches Dibiase with a chokeslam and clotheslines him out. Berzerker gets dumped and out comes Giant Gonzalez. Oy Vey. they take the longest time for a staredown and Gonzalez chops Taker to the floor as #17 is Damien Demento. #18 is I.R.S as gonzalez continues beating up the Taker. I.R.S & Demento team up to pound on Backlund in the ring until Tatanka enters at #19. Tatanka grabs Irwin by his tongue, I mean tie, and chops away at him. Damento continues trying to eliminate Backlund while Irwin has Tatanka in the ropes. #20 is Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys. He works on Damento and pounds on IRS. backlund goes to eliminate Damento but can't get him out. #21 is Typhoon to add even MORE crap in the ring. He splashes Damento in the corner a few times with some grunting that will make you retch. Tatanka chops on Sags and Backlund tries tossing Irwin. #22 is Fatu and I'm begging for Hogan to come out. Fatu is Rikishi if you didn't know. He hammers Tatanka, Damento, I.R.S and Sags in that order. Sags grabs him from the head and tries headbutting him, but SHOCKINGLY it doesn't hurt him, cause he's Samoan. IRS tries eliminating Damento now. #23 is Earthquake. He attacks Typhoon his partner. After the worst mini match of the match, Quake dumps out Typhoon then goes after fellow face Sags. #24 is Carlos Colon. Monsoon has the BALLS to call him a YOUNGSTER FOR GODS SAKE! Colon & Tatanka try tossing Damento. Damento hammers Colon and misses a roundhouse and gets dumped to the floor in the process. Quake SQUASHES Backlund in the corner and tries eliminating him. #25 is El Matador, Tito Santana. HE goes after Backlund now and then for Quake. Backlund eliminates Fatu on the far right side of the screen and Heenan says Fatu eliminated himself. IRS & Backlund team up to try eliminating Matador. I'm guessing Martel's next without looking. #26 is Rick Martel SHOCKINGLY. He SURPRISINGLY attacks Santana and both men send each other into the buckle. Quake ducks an I.R.S clothesline and he is eliminated. Matador STILL can't get out Backlund, who's been in this thing for 50 minutes now. #27 is Yokozuna! WOOOO! Clear that ring fat man. Tatanka? Gone. Colon? Gone with a smile. quake tries his luck and misses a avalanche, and Yoko in return BELLY to BELLY suplex's him to the floor as #28 enters, being Owen Hart. Yokozuna pounds on everyone. Owen & Martel fight in the corner and Monsoon has the balls to say OWEN HART, IN 1993 has a chance of winning. #29 is Repo Man. He walks into a hard Yokozuna headbutt. Yoko chokes Tito in the corner at the same time Martel & Owen continue having a little match. Everyone now gangs up on Yoko, but ONLY backlund is smart enough to lift his leg instead of trying to push him over, cause he is dead weight. Yoko fights off everyone and NOW you know who wins. #30 is Macho Man Randy Savage, maybe he can somehow win this thing. He comes in attacking Repo Man and chokes him with his boot. Yoko no sells Santana and tosses him out with a vengeance. Owen drop-kicks Sags out moments later. Owen tries his luck with Yoko but gets thrown out so hard he lands on his left knee. He is either selling good or hurt bad. Savage tosses out Repo Man moments later. Backlund fights off Martel and knocks him out. backlund has been in there for an hour now. He goes after Yokozuna and STUPIDLY charges Yokozuna, being eliminated after 1:O1:11. I was mad at the time, saying he should have gotten the title shot anyway just for what he did. Savage gets killed by Yoko for a while. He fights back with a series of jabs and clotheslines followed by a double axhandle, and a 2nd sends Yoko to one knee. Yoko catches him with a reverse crescent kick. Belly to belly Suplex and Leg Drop turns Savage into silly putty. Yoko misses a corner rush and falls to the mat and savage nails the elbow drop and.....COVERS HIM??! Yoko presses Savage over the top rope, eliminating him for the win and WM title shot at 1:O6:35. ***. Probably the worst Rumble Match at the time, besides 1988, but who counts that one?

 

-Overall, you had 2 good singles matches, 2 squashes, and a terrible rumble. Thumbs in the middle on this one, but flirting with thumbs down.

[Guest]

Pretty good tape rant. I noticed that there were no spelling errors. I'm not criticizing you at all. I'm only praising you for correct spelling and a good tape rant.

[Guest]

Yeah, good rant...

 

You know, it just makes me mad when Randy Savage pins Yoko in the end, and then gets thrown out. WM IX would've been so much better had we had Bret vs. Savage for a Main Event, rather than Bret vs. Yoko.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

To set the record straight, I don't spell check a lot due to having to ignore wrestler names, since I mention them atleast 20-25 times a match.

 

RR shoulda let Savage win, but #30 NEVER wins the Rumble. NEVER.

[Guest Mark4steamboat]

#30 winning a rumble is a waste IMO. Good review as always.