Lost and Found:

[Guest thefrenchargel]

Since the WWE's tag division has become a lifeless pile of tripe, I thought I'd take a look back to one of the best pointless tag matches the WWF's ever put on. 1991 was in the timeframe that was the waning hours of hulkamania, where Vince was squeezing him for every penny he was worth, while Hogan was squeezing Vince just to see how much he could get away with. This match has nothing to do with Hogan, however. It's sole purpose was just to be a hot match so the fans could get into the show. They would need it, too, considering that Sgt. Slaughter was to win the WWF title later on in the show. That led to the Iraqi angle, where even as a kid, I could tell it was a bad idea. I mean, there's no way that Slaughter was keeping the belt for any length of time. A lot of people also felt the angle was in bad taste, which I would agree with. Hogan vs. Foreign Menace was a really played out storyline.

 

      This match didn't have any real angle that I can remember to build it up, aside from "Handsome babyfaces vs. Foreign menace,"(imagine that…) it was just a match, but a hell of a good one.

 

      Live from Miami, Florida, it’s The Rockers vs. The Orient Express (with Mr. Fuji) 1991 Royal Rumble.

 

      We start with Shawn getting double teamed by Kato and Tanaka. Kato is Paul Diamond, by the way. They hit a double back body drop, and Tanaka sets Shawn up for a shot from Kato, but Janetty comes in and dropkicks Kato. Shawn gets loose from Tanaka, who then eats superkick. Double press slam, Tanaka’s down. Both men go up top, Tanaka bails. Rockers collaborate and hit double suicide dives. Back in the ring, and they celebrate. Fuji admonishes his men for doing poorly, and sends them back in. It’s Marty vs. Kato in now. Big ol’ patriotic USA chant. Lockup, Marty gets a side headlock. Whip, but Marty keeps on the hold, overpowering Kato. He takes Kato to his knees, who tries to counter with a belly to back, but Marty counters his counter with a headlock takedown. Kato elbows out, gets whipped, duck, leapfrog, and Kato tries a rope rollup, but Marty holds on. Janetty tries to charge, but gets hiptossed into an armbar. Janetty counters with a headscissor. Quick sequence. Kato filps on top of him for two, but they bridge out into a backslide, which gets a two count for the Rockers. Crowd pops for that one. They lockup and end up in the heel corner. Break, but Tanaka distracts Marty and Kato beans him. Tag to Tanaka, whip, leapfrog, and the heels collide. Nice armdrag onto Tanaka, and Marty works the armbar. Tag to Shawn, who nails the arm and goes into an armwringer, then a backdrop. Shawn works the arm on the mat. Shawn knees the arm, both men back to their feet, and Tanaka sends Shawn to the ropes with a little help from the hair. Shoulder block puts Tanaka down. Shawn goes to the ropes again, but Tanaka takes control with a BEAUTIFUL leaping forearm smash. Awesome impact and crispness there. Tanaka hits the chinlock. Fans get behind Michaels, up, and punches out of the hold. Tag Kato, Tanaka goes to the ropes, both men duck, back over them again, Shawn tries a leapfrog, but this time the heels don’t run into each other. Shawn gets a double noggin’ knocker, though. He whips a dazed Tanaka and gets a high knee. Take that, HHH. Snapmare takedown, and Shawn covers for 2. Should’ve hooked the damn leg there, Shawn. Chinlock again. Piper then goes through the finer points of “Wearin’ your opponents down,” explaining how chinlocks and headlocks aren’t really submission holds, but tactics to “WEAR ‘EM ON DOWN!” He begins then to explain the positioning of Shawn’s BUTT having something to do with the amount of pressure being applied, but Tanaka elbows out before he can finish the thought, thankfully. Tanaka to the ropes, ducks a Michaels clothesline, but gets caught in a sleeper. Crowd pops for it quite nicely. The ref then gets distracted, allowing Kato to sneak in and nail Shawn. Both men down. Back to their feet, and Shawn throws a kick, caught by Tanaka, who counters with a kick to Shawn’s planted leg, ala Tiger Mask. Gets a nice “Oooh!” from the capacity crowd. Tanaka goes into his martial arts strikes. Chop to Shawn sends him into the corner, but he reverses and pounds Tanaka. He starts the 10 punch count as Marty and Kato come in. Shawn sees trouble coming, goes up top, and MOONSAULTS Kato, then unloads on him from the mount position. Mind-blowing stuff for 91 WWF. All four men in now, Double cross corner whip, but the Orients do the do-si-do, and try a double corner whip on the Rockers. Shawn leapfrogs Marty, and the Orients try stereo belly to back suplexes, but the Rockers roll out, and hit stereo dropkicks, dumping both of their opponents. The Rockers do stereo headfakes, fooling the Orients, and then hit roughly simultaneous top rope planchas to the floor. Wild fast-paced action that pops the crowd BIG TIME. The Rockers celebrate. Kato comes in, snapmare, cover, Shawn hooks the leg this time, still only gets two. Tag Janetty, whip, double elbow to Kato gets another two. Chinlock continues the wearin’ ‘em on down process. Kato back up, tag to Shawn, and they do some double teaming. Shawn gets a really nice delayed vertical suplex for two. Tanaka saves. Cross corner whip, Shawn tries a monkey flip, but Kato holds on, carries him out of the corner, and Tanaka runs over on the apron and grabs Shawn, allowing the Orients to drop Shawn’s neck across the top rope.

 

      Time for Shawn to become the face in peril, as the Rockers have basically controlled the entire match up to this point. Kato works Shawn over, and Fuji gets a shot in with the ever-present evil cane, drawing big heat from the crowd. Tag to Tanaka, who hits another martial arts strike. Crowd goes to the USA chant. Another chop puts Shawn down, as Fuji directs his men to “Make him suffah more!” Tag to Kato, who holds up Shawn’s legs as his neck is draped across the ropes, and Tanaka vaults over his partner, crushing the prone Michaels. Kato covers for two. Ref gets distracted, heels don’t tag, and continue the beating. Tanaka gets a chop, and then we hit the nerve pinch. I hate this resthold. We’re 13 minutes in, by the way. The resthold goes on a bit too long for my tastes, especially since it’s the stupid ass nerve pinch. He gets a two count off of it in the process. More strikes. Tag to Kato, they get a double chop. Shawn into the corner, and he kicks Kato in the breadbasket. Cross corner whip on Kato gets reversed, and Shawn Flair flips out, but Tanaka is on the apron and crescent kicks him back in over the top rope. Shawn’s struggling. Tag to Tanaka, and the Express hits a tandem clothesline that earns the double corkscrew sell from Shawn that we all know and love. Two count for the heels. Shawn gets punched and whipped, bit Tanaka puts his head down and eats a facebuster. Kato sees the problem this presents, and takes it upon himself to run across the ring and nail Marty. Marty then obviously has the ref distraced as he explains the dastardly actions to the ref. The Express get the black belt, and try to use it to double clothesline Shawn. He ducks however, and then dives onto it on the rebound, sending the heels head-first into one another. Awesome spot.

 

      Comeback time, baby. The heels are down and out, as Shawn struggles to make the tag. He FINALLY gets to his partner and makes the meltdown red-hot smokin’ tag. Marty’s fired up beyond belief, Punches to both heels, scoop and slam to both heels, shitty dropkicks to both heels. Those both missed by a mile. Whip to Kato, powerslam gets two. Whip, back elbow, cover, but Tanaka saves. Shawn then nails Tanaka. Whip gets reversed, and Kato tries a hiptoss. They fight over the backslide, but Tanaka kicks Janetty, getting a two count for Kato. Kato to the ropes, ducks the clothesline, and Shawn trips him up, getting the “Turnabout is fair play, I always say,” line from Gorilla. I wait with baited breath for “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander,” but sadly it never comes. I miss Monsoon. Were he still alive, I’d take Gorilla and Bobby today over Cole and Tazz in a heartbeat. Marty covers the dazed Kato for two. All four men in again, and the faces control, then hit a double kick onto Kato. They set up the Rocket Launcher, but Tanaka runs over and kicks Marty, which trips up Shawn and sends him “FIFTEEN FEET!” to the floor, according to Piper.  The Express takes over, and Kato slingshots Marty into a Tanaka chop. Fuji tells them to do it again. They set it up, but Shawn comes in, nails Tanaka, doubling him over, and then nails Kato, which adds to the momentum of the slingshot, sending Janetty over the doubled-over Tanaka, turning it into a sunset flip for the three count to a monster pop. That was a totally innovative and awesome way to end a tag match.

 

      Well then, what we ended up with was a classic face/heel tag match that while still totally formula, showcased some awesome stuff from the Rockers, who were clearly showing a lot of potential. It still baffles me why they never got the titles, considering how over with the fans they were. Aside from some excessive resting, this was total fast-paced greatness from two talented teams that had the crowd on their feet by the end of it. ****1/4. That’s a little higher than most ratings I’ve seen for this match, but I feel it deserves it based on the mind blowing stuff from the Rockers, great selling and bumping all around, and just in general kicking way more ass than they had to, given the slot they had, no real back story, and the fact no titles were on the line. Must-see tag team action, in my book.

 

      I’m not too sure exactly what match I’m going to do next, so I’m fairly open to suggestion here. I’ve gotten a request for the HBK/Mankind match from Mindgames, which rules it, and I’ve gotten one for the HHH/Benoit match from No Mercy 2000, which also rules it. Anyway, until then,

 

-Argel Out.

[Guest Mark4steamboat]

my vote is for hbk/mankind but it doesnt matter; im entertained by them all. Very good job as ive said alot but your reviews are great and i always enjoy reading them.

[Guest fairtoflair7]

Good Stuff, I always thought this match never gets the respect it deserves. It is non-stop action throughout and both teams are sharp as hell.