HD: Cuban Wall vs. Colombian Heat

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. 

"COME ON!"

*BOOM~!*

Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. 

COLE
Can you feel the Heat? 

The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out. Heat runs out onto the entrance stage and raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. 

*DING DING DING*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship! Introducing first. The challenger. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. He...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! 

Colombian Heat slaps some fans hands and then climbs the ring steps. Heat hops into the ring. 

COLE
Colombian Heat going for his first singles title tonight! And he's doing it against a former running buddy! 

COACH
The history between Colombian Heat and Cuban Wall has been talked about again and again. So let's just sit back and watch the slaughter!

COLE
Coach, can't you give Heat a *little* credit? 

COACH
Nah. He's boned. 

COLE
Coach. Oy.  

Colombian Heat gets on the second ring rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then gets on a second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again, receiving more cheers. Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle, and grabs a microphone.

COLE
Colombian Heat came to the rescue of Spanish Fly after his match against Cuban Wall last week. Tonight, Heat looks to do what Spanish Fly couldn't do last week. Colombian Heat hasn't wrestled on HeldDOWN~! in quite some time, but he has been in action around the globe, wrestling in HI-YAH several times over these past few months. 

COACH
They can take him and keep him for all I care! If I never ever see Colombian Heat ever again, it will be too soon! 

Colombian Heat has a smile on his face as "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull dies down. 

"HEAT!"
"HEAT!"
"HEAT!"
"HEAT!"

COLOMBIAN HEAT
COT DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK ON HELDDOWN~! 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

HEAT
And wot betta place to return home than right here in MEMPHIS, TENN-E-SEE!

(CHEAP POP!)

HEAT
So, Memphis, we's in tha dirrty dirrty, and I knows that in tha dirrty dirrty youse likes to get CRUNK! And we's about to get CRUNK cuz I's am leaving herre tha NEW 24/7 CHAMPION! 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

HEAT
So, if all of y'all are ready to see me make Cuban Wall feel the Heat and become the new 24/7 Champion...then Memphis, Tennessee, make some noise UP IN THIS--

"BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!"

The crowd goes wild. Colombian Heat smiles a wide smile as he puts the microphone away. Heat jumps up and down and stares at the entrance with his game face on. 

COLE
Colombian Heat is ready for this match! He wants to become 24/7 Champion tonight on HeldDOWN~!

"LIGHTNING CREW!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag with CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. 

*[i]No chance (No chance)
That's what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah!)

We're up against
no machine too strong (Too strong)

Pussy polticians buying souls for us
are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)[/i]*

A few seconds later, the entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Cuban Wall has the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused soley on it, with a serious expression on his face.

COACH
Here comes the biggest 24/7 Champion EVER! Colombian Heat's in trouble now!  

BUFFER
And his opponent. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion of the worrrrlllllllllldddddddddddddddddddd. He is The Muscle for The Lightning Crew. CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! 

Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit as he walks to the ring.

COLE
Cuban Wall has no love lost for Colombian Heat. Here is what he had to say earlier about his opponent tonight. 

A small box appears on the upper left hand corner of the screen. Cuban Wall stands in front of a blue background while holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He is in his wrestling gear because he lives, breathes, and eats wrestling DAMNIT! 

CUBAN WALL
My name is Cuban Wall. I enjoy drinking beer, smoking fine Cuban cigars, listening to heavy metal, and having sex with some fine fine ladies. But the one thing I love more than any of that is kicking some serious ass! Now my opponent tonight is no stranger to me. Suffice to say, I've hated his guts ever since I first met him! He's always been an annoying, idiotic, obnoxious, untalented, ASS to me! And tonight, I hope this will be the last time I will ever EVER have to get in the squared circle with him! I will make sure of that! This is NOT about big vs. small. This is NOT about rock vs. rap. This is about a talented superstar kicking the crap out of the least talented superstar in all of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Colombian Heat, say your prayers, because you're going to need all the help you can get when you step into the ring with me! It's almost game time, are you ready? Because YOUR ASS IS MINE!

COLE
Cuban Wall with some big words for Colombian Heat tonight! 

COACH
He'll back up his words too. This is not going to be pretty. Not at all! 

COLE
We're about to find out in only a heartbeat away! 

COACH
Oh boy! I've been waiting for this all week!  

Cuban Wall uses the ropes to pull himself up onto the ring apron. He enters the ring--Colombian Heat attacks him! Heat keeps on attacking him, preventing Cuban Wall from entering the ring! 

COACH
What the hell? 

COLE
Colombian Heat wanted to get a heads up I assume! 

COACH
What is he doing? STOP HIM! STOP HIM!

Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. 

*DING DING DING*

[b]OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
CUBAN WALL (Champion) vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT (Challenger)[/b]
Colombian Heat beats on Cuban Wall to the crowd's delight! 

COLE
Colombian Heat going for first blood right now! 

Colombian Heat punches Cuban Wall repeatedly as he finally enters the ring! But then, Cuban Wall grabs Heat and gives him a headbutt, knocking him down! 

COACH
Ha! Ha! 

Colombian Heat gets right back up, and attacks Cuban Wall again! But Cuban Wall shrugs off the attack and headbutts Heat again! Mike Chioda grabs the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt that Wall dropped, and hands it over to a ringside attendant. 

COLE
Cuban Wall is just too big for Colombian Heat!

Colombian Heat gets right back up, and attacks again! Cuban Wall headbutts Heat AGAIN! He then starts punching Colombian Heat in the face! Heat stumbles around ringside. Wall grabs Colombian Heat and gives him the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms! Cuban Wall grabs Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a big boot that causes Colombian Heat to tumble through the first and second ropes and onto the floor! 

COLE
Cuban Wall is in control of Colombian Heat as this match gets started! 

Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air. The crowd boos loudly. Wall taunts the fans. Mike Chioda begins his 10 count. 

COACH
If Heat knows what's good for him, he'll just stay down. 

COLE
Colombian Heat has the heart of a champion, Coach! He won't back down until he gets what he wants! And right now, he wants the 24/7 Title! 

COACH
'Heart of a champion'? Come on, Cole! Stop looking into the big book of cliches, and make up something of your own next time! 

Colombian Heat gets on his knees. He takes a deep breath, already groggy, and slides back into the ring at the count of 6. Cuban Wall quickly starts stomping him into mush. 

"HEAT!"
"HEAT!"
"HEAT!"
"HEAT!" 

COLE
This crowd trying to rally Colombian Heat back into this match! 

Cuban Wall picks Colombian Heat up, removing his Colombian flag bandana in the process. Cuban Wall punches Colombian Heat in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! Cuban Wall gives Colombian Heat an Irish Whip into the ropes. Heat bounces off the ropes. Wall follows with a Bossman Slam! He goes for the cover. 

1...







2...







SHOULDER UP! 

Cuban Wall eyes the referee, but carries on. Colombian Heat's eyes are glazed over. CW picks CH up and punches him in the face again. And again! And again! And again! Wall scoops Heat up. Wall charges forward towards a turnbuckle, hitting Heat's back against the turnbuckle! Wall charges forward towards another turnbuckle, hitting Heat's back against that one too! Wall heads towards a third turnbuckle, slamming Heat's back against that one. He finishes it off with the fourth turnbuckle, and completes his signature move with a powerslam! Cuban Wall goes for the cover! 

ONE! 











TWO! 









THR--KICK OUT!!!

COLE
Colombian Heat will not give up! He will not quit! 

COACH
And he will not win the 24/7 Title the way this match is going! 

"LET'S GO HEAT!"
"LET'S GO HEAT!"
"LET'S GO HEAT!"
"LET'S GO HEAT!"

Cuban Wall taunts Colombian Heat while he picks him up. Wall gives Heat a double-armed DDT! Wall goes for the cover. 

1....2....KICK OUT!

Wall sneers at the referee. He then picks Colombian Heat up again. Wall scoops Heat up. Bodyslam! Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and down with a legdrop, NO! Colombian Heat moves out of the way! 

COLE
Colombian Heat escaped just in the nick of time! 

COACH
What? Come on Wall! Don't let the stupid idiot beat you! 

Colombian Heat gets up. He picks Cuban Wall up. He goes for the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~! Not even close, as Cuban Wall shoves him into the ropes, and then hits him with a MASSIVE clothesline! 

COLE
Oh! And Colombian Heat's comeback has been cut short! 

COACH
Good. We're back on track now! 

Cuban Wall chokes Colombian Heat with his bare hands! Mike Chioda orders Wall to stop at the count of 5. 1! 2! 3! 4! Cuban Wall lets go of Heat's throat. Wall grabs Colombian Heat, and lifts him up onto his feet by his throat! Cuban Wall throws Colombian Heat over the top rope and onto the floor! 

COLE
Uh-oh! This isn't good! Cuban Wall is on the outside with Colombian Heat! That's no man's land right there! 

COACH
It's not like this is anything new! Things haven't been going Colombian Heat's way all match! 

The crowd boos loudly as Cuban Wall exits the ring over the top rope. Colombian Heat is crawling on the outside. Cuban Wall slowly follows him then picks him up by his shirt and yellow basketball jersey. Heat is dazed and confused. Cuban Wall whips Colombian Heat into some ring steps. Heat hits the ring steps right shoulder first with the top ring steps falling off due to the impact! 

COLE
Whoa! 

COACH
That's right, Wall! Do your thing! You're the man, Wall! You the man! 

Colombian Heat is lying on the floor, breathing heavily. Cuban Wall taunts the fans at ringside. Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he walks over to where Colombian Heat is lying and picks him up. Cuban Wall measures Heat up, and punches him square in the nose! Heat stumbles, but Wall holds him up by his jersey. Wall grabs Heat by his head and throws him back into the ring. Wall follows over the top rope. 

COLE
Colombian Heat has gotten barely ANY offense in this match! 

COACH
And that's the way it should be. Are you surprised? 

COLE
No...I Just thought he might put up a little bit more of a fight! 

COACH
He wouldn't, Because Cuban Wall is better than Colombian Heat in every way including arts and crafts! 

Cuban Wall picks Colombian Heat up again. CW places Colombian Heat in between his legs, lifts Heat up, and gives him a Piledriver onto the mat! Cuban Wall gets up and lifts his right hand in the air! The crowd boos. 

COLE
Oh no! Oh no! 

COACH
CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! 

Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he watches Colombian Heat get up. Heat slowly gets to his feet. 

COLE
Cuban Wall is going for the Chokeslam! This could be the end of this match!

COACH
It WILL be, Michael! It WILL be! 

Cuban Wall motions for Heat to get up. Colombian Heat is on his right knee. Wall is yelling for Heat to get to his feet. 

COLE
Wall signaling for another one of his signature moves. The Chokeslam! 

Colombian Heat is slowly standing up straight. He turns around...Cuban Wall grabs him by the throat! 

COACH
GOOZLE~! GOOZLE~! 

Cuban Wall taunts Colombian Heat while still clutching his throat! 

COLE
Chokeslam coming up! 

BUT THEN Colombian Heat kicks Cuban Wall's right knee! He does it again! He does it a few more times, breaking the goozle! Colombian Heat hits Cuban Wall with forearm shots to the face! The shots daze the big man, but that's all they do! 

COLE
Colombian Heat making the comeback! 

COACH
Stop him, Wall! 

Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall's left arm and whips him (after trying twice) into the ropes. Cuban Wall reverses--Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes. Cuban Wall grabs him, lifts him up onto his left shoulder, and falls to his knees, giving him the WALLBREAKER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

COLE
Wallbreaker! Cuban Wall just gave Colombian Heat the Wallbreaker! 

COACH
YEAH! Big time man! Big time! 

Colombian Heat squirms on the mat! Cuban Wall stares down at Heat, and then rushes forward, bounces off the ropes, rushes forward, jumps up and down crashing onto Colombian Heat! 

COLE
The Lightning Crew Splash! 

COACH
Just like Spanish Fly last week! 

Cuban Wall gets up to smile evilly, and then covers Colombian Heat. Referee Mike Chioda counts. 

1...












2...














2 1/2














2.999999999999999999999999999999999999
















3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*DING DING DING* (5:09)

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

COLE
Cuban Wall absolutely DOMINATED Colombian Heat! 

"No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. Cuban Wall gets up, scoffs at Colombian Heat, and then gets his hands raised by Mike Chioda. 

BUFFER
Here is your winner...and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! 

COLE
Cuban Wall controlled most of the match! He barely gave Colombian Heat any offense! Another successful title defense for the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion!

COACH
Two weeks in a row, baby! First Spanish Fly, now Colombian HACK! And that's all he is, a HACK! Cuban Wall proved it tonight! 

COLE
Well, Cuban Wall IS 6'7" 285 lbs, Coach! This was going to be a challenge for Colombian Heat anyway! 

COACH
Wouldn't a superior athlete be able to overcome the size and weight difference? 

COLE
Maybe...

COACH
Maybe? No, DEFINITLEY! Cuban Wall proved tonight once and for all that he is better than Colombian Heat! Now hopefully, they'll never have another match against each other ever again! 

Mike Chioda hands Cuban Wall the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. Wall raises the belt over his head with his right hand. The crowd boos loudly as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Colombian Heat is lying on the mat, breathing heavily. Mike Chioda checks on him. 

COLE
Colombian Heat tried, but Cuban Wall was just too much for him! Cuban Wall's 24/7 Title reign continues on for another day! Let's take a look at the replay! 

The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to a replay of the match, starting with Cuban Wall headbutting Colombian Heat at the beginning of the match.

COACH
My man Wall dominated from the beginning! Poor little Colombian Heat tried to fight in the beginning, but Wall just shrugged him off like he should! 

*Cut to Cuban Wall hitting Colombian Heat with the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms.*

COACH (CONT'D)
Watch this! BAM! Cuban Wall with those CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms! 

*Cut to Cuban Wall clutching Colombian Heat's throat for a chokeslam.*

COACH (CONT'D)
Cuban Wall went for a chokeslam, and yeah, Colombian Heat managed to escape *that*, lucky bastard. But, you know what? Cuban Wall came back! 

*Cut to Cuban Wall giving Colombian Heat the Wallbreaker, followed by The Lightning Crew Splash.*

COACH (CONT'D)
BAM! Wallbreaker! And then, BOO-YAH~! The Lightning Crew Splash! 1! 2! 3! That's it! That's all! That's all there is! 

*Cut to Cuban Wall raising his right fist in the air when he came out.* 

COACH (CONT'D)
Your winner and STILL STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion, CUBAN WALL! 

The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cuban Wall slings the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. He looks down at Colombian Heat and scoffs, saying something under his breath. Mike Chioda is still checking on Colombian Heat as Cuban Wall exits the ring over the top rope.

COLE
Colombian Heat tried to avenge his friend's loss last week, but came up short this week! 

COACH
Yeah, life is good for Cuban Wall right now! 

COLE
You maybe right! I mean, who can stop him and end his title reign? 

COACH
NO ONE! That's who! HA HA HA HA HA!

COLE
Cuban Wall walks away with his head held high. Another victory under his belt as he has been on a roll since winning the 24/7 Title at AngleMania VI! Colombian Heat tried, but in the end, Cuban Wall was just too much for him! But if I know Colombian Heat, I know that he will live to fight another day! 

Cuban Wall walks up the entrance ramp holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he walks. Cuban Wall jaw jacks with some fans, threatening to give them a knuckle sandwich should they touch him. He laughs maniacally as he gets to the entrance stage. Colombian Heat is still lying on the mat, his eyes glazed over, breathing heavily, and coughing like mad. He tries to get up as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing.