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Jim Steinman

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I vowed here to one day make this thread. It did take a while for me to make that thread, but that time is now and that time is also me! (Bonus points to whoever can identify TSM poster who was the original source of that quote.)

 

Anyway, we are here to discuss the works of this man:

 

220px-Jim_Steinman.jpg

 

Sure, Jim Steinman is mostly known for his work with Meat Loaf:

 

Bat Out of Hell

Paradise by the Dashboard Light

, although Meat Loaf was not the first person to record this (more on that later), but this video features an 18-year-old Angelina Jolie. She looked better then than she does now.

 

but oh there is so much more!

 

For example, these hits:

 

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

Air Supply - Making Love out of Nothing At All

Celine Dion - It's All Coming back to Me Now

 

And how about "Original Sin", the theme from 1994's Alec Baldwin flop, The Shadow?

 

But Jim hasn't left all of his works in the hands of other artists. Why, he recorded his own solo album in 1981:

 

The album's title track, "Bad For Good"

Dramatic monologue "Love and Death and an American Guitar"

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light" ripoff "Dance In My Pants"

And Jim's only top 40 "solo" hit, "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through", which he actually doesn't sing lead on, but he does lipsynch in the video. Hmmm.

 

I guess he isn't very active these days other than plotting some sort of Bat Out of Hell musical. Bat 3, released last year without any input from Jim but featuring several of his songs, didn't exactly set the world on fire, but it had some good stuff. Like for instance, this song, "Seize the Night", which is inexplicably set to several clips from NBC's Heroes. But listen to the song, will ya? It is good stuff in my humble opinion.

 

Anyway, Jim Steinman: Great songwriter, great dude. Here's his blog: http://jimsteinman.blogspot.com

 

I'd like your thoughts on this wonderful man, Smart Marks.

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Guest •
I vowed here to one day make this thread. It did take a while for me to make that thread, but that time is now and that time is also me! (Bonus points to whoever can identify TSM poster who was the original source of that quote.)

Sensei John Kreese

 

I like "Ravishing" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart" quite a bit too much.

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Actually, Czech, that was a subliminal_animal quote.

 

I'm very disappointed at the lack of attention paid to this thread. Didn't this folder get like two pages out of the most recent Linkin Park thread?

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Guest (Loggins Name)

THIS IS THE SEASON THAT WE MAKE OUR MOVE

(WE MAKE OUR MOOOOVE)

THIS IS THE SEASON WE'VE GOT SOMETHING TO PROVE

(THIS IS THE SEASON!)

THIS IS THE SEASON I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO LOSE

AND ALLLLL WE EVER REAAAAALLLY NEEDED WAS

 

RAVISHING! RAVISHING! WHOA-OH-OH-OH

RAVISHING! RAVISHING! WHOA-OH-OH-OH

RAVISHING! RAVISHING! WHOA-OH-OH-OH

IT'S ALRIGHT! WE'LL BE RAVISHING EACH OTHER TILL THE END OF THIS ENDLESS

RAVISHING EACH OTHER TILL THE END OF THIS ENDLESS NIGHT

ALL RIGHT

ALL RIGHT

ALL RIGHT

ALL RIIIIIIIGHT

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i enjoy the soaring excess of steinman's stuff, but i can't take it for more than 10 minutes at a time.

With the Meatloaf stuff (at least) 10 minutes at a time is pretty much what you are going to get.

 

 

 

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Do videos work now? Because this would be the perfect place for them.

 

 

Meat Loaf - It's All Coming Back to Me Now

 

 

Bonnie Tyler & Todd Rundgren (that's not him in the video) - Loving You's a Dirty Job (But Somebody's Got to Do It)

 

 

Meat Loaf - I'm Gonna Love Her for Both of Us

 

 

Bonnie Tyler - Making Love Out of Nothing At All

 

I'm pretty sure 90% of the Steinman catalog is covered between these two artists, even if the song was performed by someone else first.

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"Confessions of a Vampire" is great, because it's a rewrite of "Objects in the Rear View Mirror" except instead of being about best friends dying and abusive drunk fathers and hooking up with some hot chick, it's about being a freakin' vampire and EATING NAPOLEON'S PAGEBOY.

 

Also, "Tanz Der Vampires" is great if only for "Seize the Night," which Meat Loaf did much better on Bat III since it didn't have a ridiculous thumping dance beat. But the English version was awful from what I've heard of it. Someone posted audio from an early "Dance of the Vampires" performance on YouTube and during "Vampires in Love" when they start singing "Turn around......" the whole audience starts laughing, like "LOL THEY'RE SINGIN' TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART!" It wasn't supposed to be funny! Jim just reuses songs a lot!

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Guest I swallowed a Q-Tip.
ON A HOT SUMMER NIGHT, WOULD YOU OFFER YOUR THROAT TO THE WOLF WITH THE RED ROSES?

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I remember everything!

I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday

I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar

I don't remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster

But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel

I don't remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster

But I do remember that it wasn't at all easy

It required the perfect combination of the right power chords

And the precise angle from which to strike

The guitar bled for about a week afterward

And the blood was sough dark and rich, like wild berries

The blood of the guitar was Chuck Berry red

The guitar bled for about a week afterward, but it rung out beautifully

And I was able to play notes that I had never even heard before

So I took my guitar, and I smashed it against the wall

I smashed it against the floor

I smashed it against the body of a varsity cheerleader

Smashed it against the hood of a car

Smashed it against a 1981 Harley Davidson

The Harley howled in pain, the guitar howled in heat

And I ran up the stairs to my parents' bedroom

Mummy and daddy were sleeping in the moonlight

Slowly I opened the door, creeping in the shadows

Right upto the foot of their bed

I raised the guitar high above my head

And just as I was about to bring the guitar crashing down

upon the centre of the bed, my father woke up, screaming " Stop!"

"Wait a minute! Stop it boy! What do ya think you're doin'?

That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!"

And I said: "God damn it daddy!

You know I love you, but you got a hell of a lot to learn about rock 'n roll"

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Guest I swallowed a Q-Tip.

The football players is when I lost it. The interpretive-dance ninjas were something, but the football players.

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And we're always slipping thru the cracks

Then the movie's over--fade to black

Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

 

 

I want my money back

I want my money back

 

 

What about love?

It's Defective!

It's always breaking in half

 

 

What about sex?

It's Defective!

It's never built to really last

 

 

What about family?

It's Defective!

All the batteries are shot

 

 

What about friends?

They're Defective!

All the parts are out of stock

 

 

What about hope?

It's Defective!

It's corroded and decayed

 

 

Waht about faith?

It's Defective!

It's tattered and it's frayed

 

 

What about your Gods?

They're Defective!

They forgot the warranty

 

 

What about your town?

It's Defective!

It's a dead end street to me

 

 

What about your school?

It's Defective!

It's a pack of useless lies

 

 

What about your work?

It's Defective!

It's a crock and then you die

 

 

What about your childhood?

It's Defective!

It's dead and buried in the past

 

 

What about your future?

It's Defective!

And you can shove it up your ass!

 

 

I want my money back

I want my money back

 

 

 

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Ah, come on, come on, let me tell you all about it.

We've got all the time in the world.

That's good,

That's nice...

I've been dreaming up a storm lately

Over and over again

And now I can't stop, can't stop...

Been dreaming about mirrors.

Millions of mirrors.

An endless army af mirrors out of control, reflecting people to death.

To blindness and then death.

Oh and the mirrors kept getting larger.

They kept growing... swelling...

They kept spreading out

And now I can't seem to stop them.

They're still growing and I can't seem to stop them.

I have to keep filling them up,

I have to keep feeding them

And they're still getting larger!

And larger!!!

The mirrors have become vast and beautiful

And very, very hungry.

Hungrier than I've ever been.

Too hungry.

I no longer have any control over what they show me or what they see.

They decide themselves what they would like to reflect.

They won't obey me!!!

They create a reflection and then

I have to go out and find the real thing that matches it.

And almost always when I put the real thing in front of the mirrors

It's not nearly as beautiful as the reflection that came first.

And at that point I have to destroy the real thing

And go out looking again until finally

I find another real thing,

A thing that does match what's inside the mirror

and which is truly worthy of the beautiful reflection that came first.

But I almost never find it.

And the mirrors get even hungrier.

Pretty soon now they're going to devour me.

They're going to swallow me up

Piece by piece,

Bit by bit, shiver by shiver, tremble by tremble,

Sliver and sliver and splinter by splinter...

But you can help me, please.

They want you, please.

They've given me your image.

Before I ever saw you they gave me you image.

Please.

I'd like to make you one of my reflections

And feed you to the mirrors.

Please.

They only need one more to fill them up

And if it were you I feel that they would be satisfied.

As I would.

Please.

You have such a beautiful reflection...

Don't ever waste it.

Now....

YOUR PLACE OR MINE ?

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This is addressed to all the people who have answered or are thinking of answering the personal ad I placed in volume 2, number 15, two weeks ago Friday.

 

First, my apologies to the huge bartender with the voice and the light-hearted, dark-skinned advertising man. If either of you had called back, I might not be writing this retraction of my ad, even though I will soon be too busy to date much, but why didn't you call back?

 

But to the others, which includes the two lesbians; the under 25s and over 40s; the numerous ones who dialed my number and hung up as soon as I said hello; the 35 or 40 of you who made dates with me and never showed up, including the one that complained his penis was so large that he couldn't get it into anybody; the wife-seekers, the already married; that one that was so one-sided that he could think nothing of sex, then had the gall to ask me if his nationality was the reason why I wouldn't sleep with him; the two who couldn't raise their cocks when I was agreeable, and the many who could and did when I was not; the pleasant young foreigner who ended up being the private property of his gigantic girlfriend; the ones who were so grotesque in their appearance that I couldn't possibly consider a relationship with them, especially sexual; the jerk-off artists and the 69ers (the latter category which I specifically said I didn't want!); and the ones that wanted hand jobs, the ones who wanted to be spanked, the ones that could only boast about the size of their bank rolls and/or their penises (and this definitely includes the teacher who said, "All the girls want my cock!"); the businessman who had an adjective for every letter of his last name ("r is for rich"); the ones, and there were many, who said "my name is so and so, when can we get together and fuck?"; the fag who wanted me to support him; the diminutive actor and the other short ones; the racists, including the one at whose home I left me right sweater (and I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go back for it!); the drunks, junkies, and pillheads, the multitudes of liars, and especially the nice ones who never called back.

 

To all of you, I say: just forget my phone number! I don't need all the hassles! I'll be started school next month and I just don't want to be bothered.

 

Don't call my ad, any of you!

 

Sincerely, the underweight platinum blonde.

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The original "It's All Coming Back to Me Now":

 

 

I have to say, this is somewhat homoerotic. Assless pants!

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