Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 (edited) This past weekend... ANGLESLAM PRESS CONFERENCE We're in New York City in the presence of a large group of OAOAST fans and assembled media. Two tables are set up, either side of a podium, directly under the large AngleSlam 2007 banner. On one table sitting furthest left, World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix with his manageress Megan Skye; Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker with his newly won One And Only Tag Team Title belt; and and empty seat ready for Tha Puerto Rican. On the other side, "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez; an empty seat ready for Zack Malibu and an empty seat, belonging to OAOAST namesake AngleSault who takes his position on the podium. ANGLESAULT Good evening and thank you all for coming out tonight. It's a privilege for the OAOAST to be here in the city so great they named it twice, New York, New York, in the shadows of Madison Square Garden with AngleSlam 2007 set to eminate from it's hallowed halls in just four weeks' time. In a moment, I'll give the gentlemen to the side of me a chance to voice their opinions. You have been warned. (polite laughter) But first, I have a little announcement of my own. As you're all aware, the scheduled main-event will be a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, featuring Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu. However, as you'll be aware, our OAOAST cards always come with the tag 'Card Subject To Change'. Cue surprised looks from those on AngleSault's left and right. ANGLESAULT As well as the chance to compete in Madison Square Garden, the OAOAST has another great opportunity awaiting us in the next few weeks. On Thursday, August 16th, our flagship television programme HeldDOWN~! will be broadcasting live from Honolulu, Hawaii. And to mark this occassion, we will be giving our fans a great main-event. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Landon Maddix, will defend his title one on one against "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez. Landon's eyes can be seen bugging out in the background. He turns to Megan with fevered whispers as AS continues. ANGLESAULT Of course, should Mr. Cortez win the OAOAST Title on August 16th, the main-event of AngleSlam will be effected. So, an official ruling has been made and added to the contracts the men behind me signed a few weeks ago. The match will remain a Triple Threat Match should Landon Maddix retain. However, if Todd Cortez wins the OAOAST World Title, then the main-event of AngleSlam 2007 will become a Fatal Fourway Match. Thank you. And now, a word from our World Champion, LANDON MADDIX!! As AngleSault retakes his seat, Landon just sits where he is, arms folded. AngleSault looks a little embarrassed as the crowd begin booing, even despite the lovely Megan Skye making her way to the podium. MEGAN Landon would like to refuse to comment, in light of recent developments. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan retakes her seat next to Landon, who is nodding away, pouting ever so slightly. Moneymaker just looks at the Champion next to him curiously as he dismissively waves his hand at AngleSault to carry on with proceedings without him. The toys are well and truly out of the pram. And so, wtih no signs of 'conference' at this Press Conference from the Champ... THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ...we are suddenly LIVE in Seattle, Washington! We couldn't afford Safeco Field you understand. And there's no time to waste, no fancy videos, no highly debated theme music, no Sofa Central banter. Instead we go straight inside a rockin’ Key Arena and Michael Cole on the INTERVIEW STAGE. COLE Good evening and welcome to Thursday night’s most watched television program, HeldDOWN~! And at this time I’d like to introduce to you, accompanied by their Chief Financial Officer MACKENZIE DECENZO and JADE RODEZ, the reigning OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions…the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS and CPA…and the newly crowned One & Only World Tag Team Champions…THEODORE MONEYMAKER and CHRISTIAN WRIGHT… THE ENTERPRISE!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" Theodore Moneymaker relishes the hostile reception, laughing manically, arms high up to his sides, as he leads The Enterprise to the podium. Tagging along is MOLLY NERDLY, Simon Singleton’s recently acquired flunky intern. She watches intently, jotting down notes as the “Video Voyeur” records on his 'Siclopse' camera. COACH Yo, vendor guy! Yeah, can a brother get a chili-dog here or what? I've been waving atcha for like ten minu... huh? What do you mean I'm on? ...Oh. Hey ya'll in TV land. Coach here. Heh. CPA stands imposingly in the background, while the rest of the gang surround Moneymaker on the interview stage. COLE Mr. Moneymaker, congratulations are in order for your and Christian Wright’s victory last week, in the process becoming the first ever One & Only World Tag Team Champions. That coming off the heels of the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA’s successfully defending the World 6-Man Tag Titles… SIMON/NED :D COLE …against Leon Rodez and D*LUX a couple weeks ago on Syndicated. However, both victories came with their fair share of controversy. I’m speaking of your involvement in the 6-Man Title match that ultimately led to the Blonds and CPA retaining and also the matter in which you and Mr. Wright went about capturing the One & Only World Tag Team Championship last week. MONEYMAKER Nobody cares how you win, just who won, little man. But it’s only apropos, being that we’re in the Pacific Northwest where rain is seemingly an every day part of life, you and the 9-5ers of the world are drowning in your own sorrow now that my Enterprise has added the One & Only World Tag Team Championship to our portfolio! Given the amount of gold we’re carrying, you’d think we just robbed Fort Knox. Luckily for the federal government, we’re upstanding citizens and proud Americans unlike those Chicks Over Dicks, who everybody knows wouldn’t think twice about going through with such a stunt to strike at the heart of capitalism. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve already committed one act of domestic terrorism the night they cost Mr. Wright and myself the World Tag Team Championship. Don’t remember? I figured you wouldn’t, so allow me to refresh your memory by taking you back in time to the start of the New Year -- the New Year’s Spectacular to be exact. The titles are on the line in a Tag Team Turmoil match. Because “money talks, bullshit walks”…heh heh heh…CW and I happen to draw the last spot in the bout. Pretty good deal, right? It got even better when the previous two combats eliminated themselves via double count-out, making us the new World tag team champions by default. Then in a deed that ranks up there with Pearl Harbor and 9/11... COLE MONEYMAKER …COD return out of the blue and surprised us for the 1-2-3. HAHAHA! What goes around comes around, little girls. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, people are screaming bloody murder. Just the other day my office received an e-mail linking to an online petition asking the Board of Directors to overturn our win. Let me tell all you lowly cellar dwellers out there, crying over spilled milk isn’t going to wipe the wet spot off the floor, losers. Maybe it’ll finally open up your eyes and make you realize never to bet against the Billion Dollar Heir. I’ll pay any price and use anything, or anyone… (glances at Mackie) MACKENZIE MONEYMAKER …HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…to get what I want. Applauding, Ned steps into centre stage. After all, it's been five minutes and people have stopped looking at him, which is bugging him no end. BLANCHARD It’s been said behind every great man is an equally great woman. But that isn't always the case. Just look at Krista. That was a situation where there was a great man behind a woman, which produced a baby girl. Well, actually... I guess I didn't produce the baby girl while I was behind her, per-se. Although, we did this one thing where... my point is, the Enterprise is fortunate to have TWO great women, real women in Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez. They put their... (looking at Jade) bodies... on the line, in more ways than one to ensure COD was less than 100% going into the Scramble Cage match. And for that, we were all very gratified. Simon slaps Ned on the shoulder. BLANCHARD Uh, grateful. Yes. WRIGHT Indeed. Because of the efforts of our graceful confidantes, unsuccessful though they may have inevitably concluded, the debauchery that infested the tag team division under COD’s reign of tyranny has been mercifully cleansed. Ultimately, the pride and integrity of these championship trophies have been restored. SINGLETON (filming himself speak at same time) Yeah, now parents finally have role models their children can hopelessly fail to emulate. But don’t feel too bad kids, there aren’t many people in the world who can follow in our footsteps. BLANCHARD Better to shoot for the stars than the arm with heroin. SINGLETON That’s deep, man. BLANCHARD I’m a father. I have a vested interest in the youth of America. 18-25 year old females! The Blonds high-five and goof around with a non-respondent CPA. Meanwhile, Theodore picks up where CW left off. MONEYMAKER As a token of our appreciation, ladies… With the snap of his fingers, stage hands bring out a pair of GIFT BOXES (one large and one regular sized). Mackenzie is slightly disappointed to receive the smaller of the two, but knowing Teddy spares no expense she eagerly unwraps the present. Her jaw drops as she pulls out a MINK FUR COAT and puts it on. MONEYMAKER There you go, sugar. None of that faux fur others in the OAOAST run around with. It’s the real deal, baby. You deserve it for all the work you’ve done. Go ahead Jade. Open yours up. BLANCHARD That's a hard one for me to pass up, but yeah, open it Jade. I picked this out myself. JADE That look says it all, but Jade goes ahead and opens the box anyway. Inside... JADE MACKIE …a giant FRAME PHOTO OF NED SUNBATHING IN HIS SPEEDOS!?! BLANCHARD Do you like it? I chose it myself. If you think that’s hot and it totally is, then what you’re about to see is going to blow the mercury through the thermometer! Ned Blanchard in action. Well, really the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA. By popular demand we're going to put our belts up in the most anticipated sequel in history. Bigger than every blockbuster in Hollywood combined! Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me) The Blonds, Mackie and Jade head to the ring under the security protection of CPA. COLE Oh, my! You’re telling me the Blonds and CPA are going to face Leon Rodez and D*LUX in a rematch for the 6-man tag team championship? MONEYMAKER Like Ned said, little man, it’s by popular demand. But it won’t be the only tag title one the line this evening. Because I’m in such a good mood, you’ll also have the privilege of seeing the new One & Only World Tag Team champions in their first title defense! So what we’re going to do right now, Cole, is take a quick break to allow the nickel-and-dimers of the world -- and there’s plenty of them, just look at all the poverty out there in the stands -- to get on the phone and call their friends because they’re not going to want and miss this, the most anticpated sequel in history. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE You heard it, fans. Don’t you dare go away. The 6-Man Titles are on the line next! * COMMERCIAL * Edited August 10, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 (edited) As we return to HeldDOWN~!, a wide shot of the ring captures the 6-Man Tag Team Champions as they continue to warm up for their big title defence. Mackenzie, Molly and Jade all watch on from the outside as meanwhile, Theodore Moneymaker has joined the announce team at Sofa Central. Christian Wright is there too but thankfully for those of us without Harvard degrees (raises hand), he doesn't have a headset. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest one fall with a 30 minute time limit and it is for the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships! In the ring, the reigning OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions. Representing THE ENTERPRISE, the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS... and, their partner, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, C... P... A!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And, the opponents... It's at this point that Ned Blanchard steps forward and hands Michael Buffer a cuecard. The world's most famous announcer looks confused, as sound the crowd as some generic Latin music begins to play. And instead of the venegeful challengers we had expected, through the sliding doors walk three masked man in full bodysuits. One in blue, one in red and the final one in bright green. COLE What the... BUFFER Hailing from The Priory rehab clinic in Hollywood, U.S.A... total combined weight, 'medically insufficient'... please welcome, LOS NINOS ANOREXICO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The gracious champs applaud their challengers as they walk slowly to the ring. COLE What is this!? Theodore Moneymaker, you said this would be a rematch for the World 6-Man Tag Titles! With all due respect to Los Ninos Anorexico, a trio of talent currently competing in our developmental territory, they are no Leon Rodez and D*LUX. MONEYMAKER Who ever said they would be? You’re the one who jumped to conclusions, Cole. The Enterprise promised a return bout and we delivered. From the OAOVW's Summer Blast event, Los Ninos Anorexico vs. The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA. Rodez and D*LUX had their opportunity and blew it, just like COD did last week. It’s time new blood got a crack at both the 6-Man and One & Only Tag Titles. COLE So what you're saying is, and correct me if I'm wrong here, you're DUCKING not just Leon Rodez and D*LUX but COD as well? MONEYMAKER Michael Cole, you're one phone call to the president of TSM from being replaced on HeldDOWN~! Los Ninos Anerexico enter the ring and warmly shake hands with the welcoming Beverly Hills Blonds. Simon seems a little surprised at the firmness of the handshake he gets from Red Nino, pointing out his opponent doesn't look that 'anorexico' but Ned brushes off his concerns, telling him it's "just a gimmick, dummy". In the background, CPA just cracks his knuckles. COLE At least somebody is taking this seriously. After a consultation, it's Green Nino to start up against Ned Blanchard. *DINGDINGDING!* Drawing his challenger in, Ned stops short of a lock-up... to offer his opponent another handshake. He accepts before they circle again, with Ned this time looking up with the Green Nino. A brief tussle ensues before Ned throws Green Nino down, turning to his corner and 'catching his breath' as he warns his partners about how much of a challenge that just was. MONEYMAKER Great strength from Ned! Don't just the book by it's cover gentlemen, these three challengers are truly hungry competitors. Once he's worked out the kinks from that last exchange, Ned locks up with Green Nino again. Ned grabs a side headlock this time, takes Green Nino over and tries to pin his opponent down. Green Nino reaches his legs up and grabs a headscissors to free himself, only for Ned to escape with a lazy kip-up. The not-so athletic move doesn't impress the crowd, who boo Blanchard as he STRUTS over to his corner. Tag is made to Simon, who leaps into the ring, ready to lock it up with the Blue Nino. MONEYMAKER The kid in the blue doesn't look too eager to go toe to toe with Simon Singleton guys. This is a big opportunity for these kids. Infact, they were so nervous about this high profile match, I actually caught them throwing up in the bathroom earlier! BWAHAHA! COACH HAHA! Brilliant Mr. Moneymaker, brilliant! See, because they're Los Ninos Anorexi... COLE I got it, yes. Simon and Blue Nino draw into a greco-roman knucklelock and pull each other chest to chest for a test of strength. The two men are actually pretty evenly matched in height but Singleton has the power edge as he begins to lean Blue Nino backwards. Blue Nino shows great neck strength as he bridges to keep his shoulder off the canvas. However, he gets pulled back upright by Simon, who swings behind into a hammerlock. Reaching around for an escape, Blue Nino eventually settles for taking Simon's leg out with a drop toehold. He floats over into a side headlock, but Singleton climbs up quickly to his feet, executing a back suplex on the Anorexico! COLE Well, the challengers look fundamentally sound at least. But they're in there with multi-tag team champions. Cover by Simon... 1... 2... No! Bringing Blue Nino up, Simon hooks up his challenger for a suplex. And with Molly Nerdly catches all this intently on the Siclopse he takes Blue Nino up, leaving him hanging for a second to give his intern extra time to find the right camera angle before he drops him. Floatover, cover... 1... 2... No! Blue Nino sits up in search of his corner. He gets trapped in a rear chinlock though. MONEYMAKER Look at this. Great wrestling, great competition, great sportsmanship. This is the kind of match The Enterprise should be involved in, which we're simply unable to while dealing with miscreants like Leon Rodez and Chicks Over Dicks. Such is his comfort in this hold, Singleton is able to relay directorial input to Molly while he grinds away on the chinlock. Blue Nino begins to fight though. And suddenly he bridges up, grabbing the Blond locks of Singleton and sitting out with a Jawbreaker! COLE Woah! Simon staggers around, but still finds time to mark that up as a cut-scene to Molly, even as Blue Nino comes up behind him to execute a bulldog! Quickly, Blue Nino makes a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Almost an upset right there! Wringing out the arm of Singleton, Blue Nino tags back in Green Nino. Green Nino heads up top and comes down across the arm with an axehandle before taking over the possession of the arm. Which puts an end to the fair competition in a hurry, Simon going to the gut with a knee and measuring Green Nino for a hard right hand! Green Nino rolls through as in rushes Singleton, looking for a big clothesline. He swings high and wide however as Green Nino zips behind to execute a schoolboy roll-up... 1... 2... No! Slowly but surely, the smiling faces of The Enterprise are growing pale. Lucky then that Singleton lands a quick knee to cut of Green Nino's exuberance before any more damage can be done. COLE Mister Moneymaker, you've gone awfully quiet. MONEYMAKER Dignified silence. Pity you can't follow my lead. Tagging in, Ned Blanchard quickly takes up a hold on Green Nino, throwing him into a neutral corner. The Handsome Hustler then takes a moment to thank the big man upstairs for making him so great before he follows in... to a raised knee! Stumbling backwards, Blanchard reaches out and just as soon as he came in, out he goes, with CPA tagging in. Green Nino meanwhile tags in the Red Nino as our fresh men enter. COACH Business is about to pick up! Indeed it is. Not because of CPA you understand. As the bigman marches across the ring, up to the top rope springboards Red Nino, SOARING with a majestic Crossbody to wipe him out! Red Nino then mounts CPA, peppering him with wild right hands as all around look on in shock! COACH Uh, Teddy? COLE This Anorexico is no lightweight! After a couple of exchanged looks, Ned and Simon eventually realise they have to do something and rush into the ring. Simon gets into the fray first, but he leaves it first too, as Red Nino jumps up and guides him up and over the top, to the floor! Lagging behind, Ned gets caught with a boot and thrown outside too. As CPA gets back up, Red Nino then measures him and connects with a jab. And another jab. And another. And another Hang on. This looks kinda familiar. 'Red Nino' turns to the outside and brings the crowd to their feet, as he blows a kiss towards Theodore Moneymaker. And the CEO of The Enteprise almost collapses off the Sofa as 'Red Nino' connects with the Enziguri on CPA, knocking the bigman down, falling throat-first across the middle rope! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" MONEYMAKER No... no no no, you... tell me this isn't what I think it is! TELL ME! The previously disappointed Seattle crowd are now on their feet, as 'Red Nino' pulls off a strangely recognisable JIG~! before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving the weight into the spine! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES... As Moneymaker rises from his seat, 'Red Nino' stays sat on CPA's lower back, reaching up and pulling off his mask... TO REVEAL THE SMILING FACE OF LEON RODEZ!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...AND CALL THAT BITCH LEON RODEZ!! OH YEAH, WE'VE GOT A SIX-MAN TITLE MATCH ON OUR HANDS NOW!! MONEYMAKER NO! This isn't how it's supposed to happen! Simon Singleton slides back into the ring... making it only halfway before his ankles are caught, SHAYNE BRAVE and TYLER BRYANT pulling him outside and peppering him with blue and green gloves to the face! Meanwhile, off the ropes comes Leon again. This time he lands with a dropkick to the back of CPA, the ring rope he was leant against bouncing him back and towards the centre of the ring. Quickly, Leon barges into the bigman, forcing him out through the ropes and to the floor. He then wheels around to find Ned Blanchard rolled into the ring by D*LUX, looking up and freezing in shock! COLE Aw yeah! Despairing, Ned tries to beg off. But his prayers go unanswered as Leon boots him in the gut, lifting him into the corner and... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...connecting with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...again! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...third time! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...four! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...five! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...six times! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...SEVEN?! COLE Leon Rodez is chopping the hide off of Blanchard's chest! He's been waiting seemingly a lifetime for this! Weeping, Blanchard pleads for some mercy as Leon finally stops with the chops. He whips Ned out of the corner, waiting for him to nestle in the opposite turnbuckles before rushing after him. Taking off in mid-ring, Leon propels himself towards The Handsome Hustler's gut with the SUPERMAN SPEAR!! He then deadlifts Ned, dropping him by the turnbuckles with a sidewalk slam and heading to the top rope! MONEYMAKER Why is this match still going!? This is supposed to be Los Ninos something or other. THESE ARE NOT LOS NINOS SOMETHING OR OTHER DAMNIT!! Finally taking action on behalf of his corporation, Christian Wright vacates his seat and starts to make a beeline for Leon. However, Leon spots him and reacts quickly to re-adjust on the turnbuckles, taking off AND FLYING OVER THE CROWD OF VALETS IN THE ENTERPRISE'S CORNER TO TAKE OUT CW WITH A CROSSBODY TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Quickly covering for their partner, D*LUX enter the ring, having taken out Singleton with a DOUBLE SUPERKICK! Blanchard is on his way up and D*LUX stalk behind him, waiting as he turns around and meeting him with two boots to the gut. Taking an arm and a leg each, Shayne and Tyler lift The Handsome Hustler up and drop him across the knees with the Double Gutbuster! COLE COWELL MOVEMENT! Down to one knee goes Ned, setting him up for the SHINING ENZIGURI from Tyler!! *SMACK!* Blanchard slumps over as Leon re-emerges and heads up top again. Quickly Shayne and Tyler take off in opposite directions. Tyler rushes to knock Singleton off the apron, while Shayne WIPES OUT CPA WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!! All this as Leon sets himself up top for the 450 SPLASH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE COVER!! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WE'VE GOT NEW CHAMPIONS!! COACH NOOOOO!! Mouth agape, Moneymaker holds his head in his hands as D*LUX re-unite in the ring and celebrate with a boyband embrace! Leon pushes up to his knees over Blanchard, looking down at The Handsome Hustler and showing off those pearly whites that have been absent from the OAOAST for so long now. BUFFER Your winners of the match... and the NEEEWWW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... LOS NIN... uhm, D*LUX and LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN RRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The 6-Man Titles are handed to the new champions, to the despair of Mackenzie and Molly, the surprise of Jade and the utter outrage of Theodore Moneymaker. D*LUX take their belts and go to their fans to celebrate, while Leon grabs his third of the gold and leans over the ring ropes, dangling it in the eyeline of The Billion Dollar Heir! MONEYMAKER This is bull! Absolute bull, we didn't sign for a match with Leon Rodez and D*LUX! COLE And Chicks Over Dicks didn't sign up for Scramble Cage expecting you and your partner to gatecrash right at the end, but hey, what can you do? MONEYMAKER Don't start with me Michael Cole! Somewhere in this arena, there are three malnurished men laying in pools of their own blood, mugged by these opportunistic nickel and dimers! This should NOT stand! This is preposterous! Prepostoterous I say! You haven't heard the last of this, guaranteed! COLE Hey, don't you have a One And Only Tag Title defence later on? If I were you Mister Moneymaker, I'd be reviewing my plans for the evening! MONEYMAKER .....my God you're right. Dropping his headset, the seething Billion Dollar Heir rounds up his troops. CPA looks ready to go back in for more but Moneymaker tells his cohorts that they're done for the night, looking horror-stricken as he tries to rush the group to the back. Blanchard has to be helped back by Simon, Wright not looking too steady either, The Enterprise looking on as D*LUX and Leon continue to revel in their victory. COLE What a start to HeldDOWN~! We've got new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Titles as The Enterprise just got 'trumped'. And let's not forget, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, defending their titles later on tonight. The Enterprise came in with all the gold, they may leave with none by the night is over! Unbelievable! COACH You've got that right. We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park. The World's Most Famous Arena. Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden. The World's Greatest City. Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night. The biggest event of the summer. Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays. OAOAST ANGLESLAM LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK THREE WEEKS AWAY! NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out. COMMERCIAL BREAK Edited August 10, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 (edited) Backstage, the Nerdly clan is all smiles as they gather around Gene at the interview location. OKERLUND August 9th, 2007 is shaping up to be one of the most eventful nights in OAOAST history. The big news of course, NEW 6-man tag team champions of the world, Leon Rodez and D*LUX, as the OAOVW trio Los Ninos Anorexic, downing the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA moments ago. Last week, however, the talk at water coolers across the country was about the return of my guests this evening, along with their sister Melody, former OAOAST tag team champions, The Marv and Hell Mel, the Sk8ter Boiz! OKERLUND There’s a sight for sore eyes, a smiling Melody Nerdly. Great to see that again. I know the past few months have been very difficult for you, but I get the feeling you and your brothers’ plan on changing that. MELODY You got it, dude! It’s time to turn the tables and make life difficult for other people, particularly the Heavenly Rockers. They got a taste of their own medicine last week and I bet it wasn’t so fun, was it Synth and Logan? Nuh-uh. MARV Gene, you been in the sport long enough to know how grueling it can be on a person both mentally and physically. There’s no off-season. If you find yourself on vacation it’s either because you’re injured or fired. Thankfully neither applied to us. Our star burned so bright and flamed out quickly; we just needed to get away from it all. So we’ve been out riding the waves and pursuing another passion of ours, skateboarding. But we couldn’t stay on the sidelines and watch the Heavenly Rockers bully our sister any longer. You wanna put your hands on a Nerdly, Heavenly Rockers, why don’t you try The Marv and Hell Mel? Give us a couple weeks to get in ring shape and we’ll gladly face you at AngleSlam. Whaddya say Heavenly Rockers? Both sides have frustrations to vent. Let’s blow off some steam together. OKERLUND My word! The Sk8ter Boiz vs. the Heavenly Rockers at AngleSlam?! MEL All the fun in the sun has recharged our batteries and we couldn’t think of a better time to come back than at the hottest event of the summer. Heavenly Rockers, brace yourselves. At AngleSlam we’re gonna RAWK~ your world! OKERLUND Sk8ter Boiz and Melody, thank you very much for your ti-- MELODY (slaps forehead) Silly me. I almost forgot about the surprise. OKERLUND Surprise? MELODY Mmm-hm. Should the Heavenly Rockers choose to accept our challenge for AngleSlam, in addition to me there will be somebody else in our corner Sunday night, August 26th. A person who understands how Synth and Logan operate. Now here’s the part where I pause for dramatic effect. OKERLUND The suspense is killing me. MELODY Well, this person is known affectionately as the “Angel of Death.” OKERLUND No way. MELODY Way! My BFF…HOLLY-WOOD!! OKERLUND Holly enters the picture and receives a big hug from Melody. Hoping for the same, it’s only a handshake for the Boiz. HOLLY Hiya, Logan. Miss me, sweetheart, or just my ass? Either way, you will get to see me again on the 26th of August at AngleSlam. Only I’ll be next to Melody in the corner of the Sk8ter Boiz. Maybe following the match we can all go out for a bite to eat. No, wait, I’m sorry. You’ll only be able to eat out of a straw once The Marv and Hell Mel get done kicking their feet down your stinkin’ throats! MELODY Holly leaves with Melody and the Boiz. OKERLUND That’ll do it from here. But what a bombshell. Holly-Wood, the wife of Logan Usher Mann, has agreed to be in the corner of the Sk8ter Boiz during their match against the Heavenly Rockers at AngleSlam. Now it’s up to Synth and Logan to accept the challenge. If history is any indication, then they will do just that. The night just keeps getting wilder by the minute! Back to you, guys! COLE Thanks, Gene. Boy those Nerdly kids are something aren't they? COACH Oh, yeah, and that something is dead if The Rockers get a hold of them. COLE I don't know if I agree with that assessment, because The Rockers sure didn't seem much of a match for Marv and Mel last week! But, we'll have to put this debate on hold for now. Folks, our camera crew followed Krista Isadora Duncan around her hometown of Los Angeles this past Tuesday, for the simple reason that our camera crew, like pretty much everyone else is completely obsessed with Krista. Thankfully, their creepy perversions yielded an interesting meeting between her and her lawyer. Take a look. RECORDED TUESDAY AUGUST SEVENTH IN SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA The setting is a stunningly decorated legal office, outfitted with various fueng shei friendly items, such as 24 karat gold statues of protective dogs, mammoth crystal ball waterfalls to generate a sense of peace, whimsical wind chimes, and crystals of various colors and sizes. Sitting behind a desk is high powered (and high priced) lawyer LENORA AVALON. The forty seven year old's grey hair is kept short, topping out into soft spikes. Her tall figure stretches through a black business suit, and her perpetually stern face pours over contracts and a laptop computer screen. Across from her is her famous client, KRISTA ISAODRA DUNCAN. Outfitted in black workout pants, a white tank top, and large rimed sunglasses that rest atop her ponytailed blond hair, Krista leans against the desk, looking bored out of her mind. LENORA AVALON Looking over your OAOAST contract.... KRISTA That's written in crayon on the back of a Denny's menu. LENORA Yes, looking over your OAOAST contract that's written in crayon on the back of a Denny's menu, you and Alix are due a tag title rematch whenever you want. It's really only a matter of finalizing the desired date with the company. But, is this something you really want to do? KRISTA (confused) Why wouldn't I want to do it? LENORA Well, as your lawyer and your friend... KRISTA You're not my friend. LENORA As your lawyer, I am telling you that you have a golden opportunity to just walk away. This is a little different then just ripping off the clothes of two hotties. Lenora pushes the papers aside and increases the seriousness in her deep voice. LENORA Look, Krista, the Moneymaker family exists solely to dominate and control. You ask why they can't understand the way we are? Its because they have no desire to understand. They want to overpower, and overrunn everything they deem undesirable. And if they can't dominate you, they'll destroy you. You'll have your little victories here and there. That's only because they let you have them. In the end your minor achievements mean nothing, because the Moneymaker family consumes what it wants, and destroys what it doesn't. I'm glad you want to fight the fight for gay rights, but don't fight it with a Moneymaker. If not for you or for Alix then at least for poor Maya's sake. Just walk away. KRISTA Absolutely not! Moneymaker has done everything in his power to make our lives an unbearable hell. Although everything in his power seems to be limited to putting us in matches with guys who's roid shrunken testicles are smaller then my chances of passing a sobriety test, it's still pretty annoying! And his homophobic bullshit has crossed so many lines that even Skid Row's Sebastien Bach of “AIDS: KILLS FAGS DEAD” t-shirt fame, might step back and say “Woah, dude, the homophobia here is getting a little much. EIGHTEEN AND LIFE YOU GOT IT! EIGHTEEN AND LIFE YOU KNOOOOW!” As the leading members of the lesbian sports entertainment community, and the only members of the lesbian sports entertainment community, we can't leave Moneymaker's crap unchecked. LENORA Krista.... KRISTA No, Lenora! Just because we like pussy, doesn't mean we have to act like ones! The LGBT community just can't keep letting itself get bullied by every segment of society. No one is going to protect us but us! Not the media, not religion, and definitely not politicians. There is not a politician alive who wouldn't throw us under the bus for a few extra votes. In case you haven't noticed, we're on our own. LENORA Krista, listen... KRISTA No, you listen! I don't care how powerful, how rich, or how strong you think Moneymaker is. As long as it doesn't conflict with reruns of America's Next Top Model, I will always, always, always be there to battle him and anyone else who tries to steal our freedom to love. Lenora seems to resign herself to the fact that she'll never be able to reason with the forever stubborn woman. It's with a downhearted sigh that she returns her focus to the contracts she had been trying to whisk away. LENORA Well, while I patiently await for you to come to your senses, I suppose the least I can do is get you a date for your title match. (Lenora begins sifting through computer files) So, changing the subject a bit, Alix doesn't care that your ex-girlfriend, who happens to be your first ever girlfriend, is also your handsomely paid lawyer? Krista is surprised at this suggestion, because being in some kind of weird ex/friend twilight zone bond with all your exes is one of the joys of a homosexual relationship. KRISTA Why should she? I like to keep all my exes in one tight close knit group, makes it easier to have 'em killed if they're ever called as a witness to the prosecution. I dated my hairdresser for a few months, my publicist for at least four, my psychic was only for a couple weeks, it's pretty hard to down shots of Tequila when you've got “I see a DUI in your future” being whispered in your ear every ten seconds. Hey, I even hooked up with my therapist for a bit. LENORA One never knows how deranged Krista's psyche is until they're required to sleep with her. KRISTA I never heard you complaining. LENORA That's because I had a sock duct taped to my mouth. KRISTA Oh, such romantic memories. I do sort of wish I had waited for the coroner's official pronouncement of your death before I called your parents. Your dad was due for a heart attack, anyway. Having an affair requires a lot of work, a lot of organization, and a decent memory that I definitely don't have. I mean, I tell Maya to go get me something, and I can't even remember the name of what I want, “you know the tiny white glass thing, you plug into the watchmacallit, and the room gets all bright and stuff” and it just devolves into this humiliating game of early onset Alzheimer charades. LENORA Krista, before you continue one of your trademark rants, I should remind you that you're being charged by the hour. KRISTA I'll shut up. LENORA First time for everything. How is Alix by the way? KRISTA Younger, skinnier, and prettier, then you ever were. Realizing that Krista only insults because she loves, Lenora ignores the slander. LENORA Yes, yes, I saw that and a lot more on your Syndicated show. Thank god for Tivo. You know, you're incredibly lucky to have someone so wonderful as her. She's such a precious sweetheart. KRISTA I've known her for twelve years, and everyday I love her more and more. Whenever she's around the world seems like such a perfect place. It's like my life doesn't feel such a waste, because everything I do revolves around her. I couldn't live without her. LENORA And I bet she's never heard those sweet little words come out your lips. KRISTA (arrogantly) Why the hell should she? She should just know. LENORA Why the hell should she? She should just know? If you didn't have breasts the size of Jupiter I'd swear you were a man. If you truly love her, you'll stop hurting her with your ice cold attitude, and tell her that you'll love her till the end of time. Otherwise, she'll smarten up and find someone who will show her that little something called affection, and you'll be just another lonely lesbian striking out at Friday night speed dating like the rest of us. Krista scoffs at this suggestion, because one would have to be dead, dumb or a gay male to not want to be with her. KRISTA Yeah, I don't see that happening. LENORA Then get glasses. Ugh. Regardless, I'll take care of your title rematch, don't worry. And even if I think it's horrible idea, you and Alix still have mine and the entire community's support behind you. Now, don't you have an AA meeting to get to? KRISTA (excitedly) You got me a not guilty verdict! Remember? LENORA Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a good lawyer. We leave with Lenora shaking her head at her enabling of Krista's rampant alcoholism. COMING UP NEXT Pick Your Poison! NEXT Edited August 10, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 OAOAST HELDDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Miss Spezia Sweeties Eddie Murphy Sugar Cookies-So good you'll never notice the hooker has a penis. Bally Fitness-1-800-workout East Compton Boulevard Free Clinic-Who gives a fuck if I'm a real doctor, bitch, do you want them drugs or not? Renagade hits, and Reject makes his way towards the ring, to the boos of the crowd. COLE And here comes Reject, who will meet Alfdogg for the WDW World title in 17 days at AngleSlam! COACH And Alf has picked quite the poison for him here! COLE Yes indeed, our first "Pick Your Poison" match of the evening! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is a Pick Your Poison match, scheduled for one fall! The rules for this match are...no different than a regular match, it's just a pretty name to glorify the upcoming WDW World title match at AngleSlam! Coming down the aisle, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE And later on tonight, Alfdogg will face off against Thunderkid, who was Reject's hand-picked opponent! A cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." The crowd pops bigtime as Brock Ausstin makes his way through the curtains and does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! in the entryway. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 290 pounds...he is "THE CURRENT BIG THING", BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE What a great couple of matches set up here by the two men who will oppose each other at AngleSlam, Alfdogg and Reject, as Reject will look to end the near three-year reign of Alf as WDW World champion! COACH Has to be the longest current title reign in wrestling, by a long shot, Cole! Reject removes his gear, as the bell rings. *DING DING DING* Reject and Brock circle the ring, and tie up. Brock easily backs Reject into a corner, but Reject manages to turn him around, holding on until the referee backs him off. Reject then taunts Brock, before the two tie up once again. This time, Brock shoves Reject off across the ring! COLE And early on, we see the strength advantage of Brock Ausstin! COACH Reject looks surprised right now, but he shouldn't be! Go to your speed, Reject! Reject moves in again, and drives a knee to the gut of Brock, then goes to the eyes. He then lays in some kicks, before grabbing a side headlock. Brock shoves him off into the ropes, and delivers a big shoulder check, sending Reject right through the ropes and to the floor! COLE Well, he had the right idea for a while, but a side headlock's not going to work on a big guy like Brock Ausstin! The referee counts Reject as he walks around one side of the ring, and then re-enters. The two tie up once again, and again Brock backs Reject up into the ropes. However, Reject delivers a thumb to the eye, and attempts an Irish whip. Brock reverses, and floors Reject with a clothesline! COLE And it's been all Brock Ausstin in the early going! Brock picks up Reject with a two-handed chokehold! COACH Come on, referee, do something! COLE He is, he's counting! Brock drops Reject at the referee's four-count. COACH He needs to get more assertive than this! COLE Why don't you go down there and get assertive? COACH And leave you here to botch things up? No, thanks! Brock picks up Reject, and delivers a vertical suplex! COLE Nicely executed suplex by Brock Ausstin! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Brock stomps away for a while, then picks up Reject and whips him across. He puts his head down, however, and receives a kick from Reject for his troubles! COLE Cardinal mistake, and Reject capitalized! COACH We're not in St. Louis, Cole, it should be "Mariner" mistake. COLE Well, whatever kind it was, he shouldn't have done it. Reject runs behind Brock Ausstin, bouncing off the ropes, and Brock turns around just in time to catch a Reject spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Two-count... COACH Or since Brock's from Minnesota, maybe it should be "Twin mistake"? COLE Okay, I got it. COACH Or a more familiar description with Minnesota would be "Timberwolf mistake"! COLE Will you just shut up and call the damn match? Reject goes up to the top rope, and waits on Brock to get to his feet. COACH Although Brock did bury his head down, much like a Gopher... COLE Reject leaps off the top, but is caught by Brock. COLE And Reject is caught! Brock brings Reject up into a press slam position. COLE You know, The City That Never Sleeps is prone to a lot of mistakes... COACH Don't start. Brock drops Reject behind him, face-first on the mat! Brock then lets out a MIGHTY HOSS YELL, and the crowd roars in response. COLE And the fans really behind Brock Ausstin, as Reject falls flat on his face, much like Steve Francis did out in New York! COACH Brock backs Reject into a corner, and pounds him down with MASSIVE forearm shots. COLE What stiff shots from Brock Ausstin! Reject in BIG trouble! Brock whips Reject across the ring, and charges, but runs right into Reject's foot! COACH But look how quick he gets out of it, Cole! Reject stops to catch his breath, then drapes Brock over the ropes, and drives his knee in, choking Brock! The referee lays a count on, and Reject breaks at four. Reject picks Brock up, and executes a back suplex! He follows up with a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Brock, and executes a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER~! COACH Wow, that's a big guy to put in that move, Cole! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Brock still fighting! Reject picks Brock up and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a SLEEPER~! Reject swings around when he catches him and ends up on his back. COACH Sleeperhold! COLE Submission applied! COACH Smart by Reject! Anyone, no matter how big, can be put to sleep, Cole! Brock wanders around grabbing for ropes, unsuccessfully. Eventually, Brock sinks to his knees. COLE And indeed, Brock looks to be fading! Reject jerks to the side, trying to bring Brock to the mat with him, and does. Brock flails his arms around, but eventually they go the the canvas, as well. The referee lifts one of them... ONE!!! TWO!!! ...but Brock keeps it up on the third lift! He turns his hand into a fist, and starts shaking it, as the crowd urges him on! COLE And the crowd trying to get some adrenaline flowing inside of Brock Ausstin, as he's coming to his feet! Brock gets on one knee, then gets to his feet, driving an elbow in! And a second! And a third, breaking the hold! Brock whips Reject to the ropes, but Reject ducks a clothesline, then ducks a second one, before they clothesline each other! COLE Double clothesline, and both men down! Both men lay motionless on the mat, as the referee counts... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Both men start to stir, then turn to their sides, stopping the count. As Brock gets to all fours, Reject is on his feet, and picks Brock up. He sets up a suplex, but Brock counters into a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE So close for Brock Ausstin! Reject quickly gets to his feet, and delivers a seated dropkick! COLE And again, Reject quickly back on the offense! Reject then drags Brock into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, this one seems to have no effect on Brock! COLE I think Brock's waking up now! Reject delivers a third CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Brock takes his arms off the ropes, and takes a couple steps forward, but Reject thumbs him in the eye. He then scoops him up, and drops him throat-first on the top rope! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Brock gets his foot on the rope! Reject picks up Brock, bringing him to the middle of the ring, and delivers a backbreaker! He then scales the ropes... COLE Could see that big elbowdrop from Reject here! Reject comes off the top with a BIG ELBOW~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE Wow, how close was that? Reject argues the count with the referee, then picks up Brock once again. He lifts him in suplex position, then sets him on the top rope, and follows him up. COLE And Reject going for a big move now... Reject goes for a HURRICANRANA...but Brock blocks, then holds him as he climbs down to the mat, brings him back up, and delivers a sitout powerbomb! COLE What a show of strength by Brock Ausstin, and the tide may have turned again here... COACH Yeah, but Brock's still out of it, too, look at him! Brock lays for a few seconds, then gets to his feet, huffs and puffs, then lets out a MIGHTY HOSS YELL~! COLE Oh, no he's not! COACH Uh-oh... Brock measures Reject, and delivers a BIG clothesline! He measures again, and delivers a second! He then grabs Reject, and takes him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Reject gets a shoulder up! COLE So, so close! Brock picks up Reject, and executes a T-BONE SUPLEX~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Brock whips Reject into the ropes, and catches him with a POWERSLAM~! He then signals for the end! COLE And Brock says this one's about to be over! Brock picks Reject up on his shoulders for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111...but is too close to the ropes, and Reject is able to slide to the apron, then reaches behind him with his right arm and grabs Brock around the neck, dropping to the floor and guillotining him on the top rope! COACH Look at that move! COLE Very clever, smart move on the part of Reject, escaping defeat right there! Reject climbs back onto the apron, and slings in with a GUILLOTINE LEG DROP~! Reject then waits for Brock to get to his feet... COACH Uh-oh, could be time for the EULOGY~! Brock finally gets to his feet, and Reject goes for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111...but Brock shoves him off, right into the referee! COLE Brock counters, but now there's no referee! Brock waits for Reject to back up, and locks him in the KATAHAJIME~!!!!!11111 COLE Brock's got the KATAHAJIME hooked! This is it for Reject! Brock quickly hooks a bodyscissors and drops to the mat. COLE Reject is nowhere near the ropes! COACH But again, no referee! At this point, the Burrough Boys rush through the curtains! COLE Here come the Burrough Boys! Waldo jumps off the top rope, but is caught by Brock! When Luther slides through the ropes, Brock tosses Waldo right onto him! Brock then catches Mariano with a belly-to-belly! COACH And I can't believe Brock's taking on all these guys by himself! However, Quincy catches him from behind with a dropkick to the knee! COLE Well, he was! Quincy then picks up Brock, and executes the TANOOKI SUIT~!!! COLE And now the Tanooki Suit by Quincy! Luther, Waldo, and Mariano get to their feet, and all four men start stomping away on Brock! COLE And now it's a 4-on-1, maybe a 5-on-1 if Reject can get to his feet! Suddenly, Alfdogg runs to the ring! COACH Look at this! COLE And now the champ sliding in! The Burrough Boys stare for a minute, then Luther charges, and Alf catches him with a T-BONE SUPLEX, taking him right over the top rope! COACH He's helping Brock Ausstin! COLE He just wants Reject to lose this match! Alf ducks a clothesline from Mariano, and drills him with a SUPERKICK~! As Mariano rolls out, Alf sends Waldo to the mat with a Hart Attack clothesline, then whips Quincy into the ropes and catches him with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! Alf then heads to the top rope. COACH Can you believe this, Cole? Brock tosses Quincy to the floor with a PRESS SLAM on top of Luther and Mariano, as Alf flies onto Waldo with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE And the Five-Star Alf Splash onto Waldo! Alf turns around, and Brock scoops him up, delivering the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COACH What's up with Brock? Alf comes down here and helps him fight off the Burrough Boys, and then he attacks Alf? Brock stares at Alf briefly, then turns around...right into the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 from Reject! COLE EULOGY~! COACH He got it! Reject shoves Alf out of the ring, then covers Brock, as the referee comes to... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH YES! *DING DING DING* COLE And Reject picks up the win! BUFFER The winner of the match...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! Reject rolls out of the ring, and walks groggily towards the back with his hand raised triumphantly. COLE So Reject had the vaccine for Alf's poison, later on Alf will take on Thunderkid, will it be the same story there? Let's go to... COMMERCIAL BREAK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 (edited) (Cut back to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 press conference over the weekend.) ANGLESAULT Our next speaker is no stranger to the microphone. In fact, you can say he's something of a motor mouth. But at AngleSlam, he's going to need his talent in the ring, not on the mic, to beat not one, but TWO men and become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career. The crowd starts booing, since they know who this person is. ANGLESAULT (CONT'D) So, please join me in welcoming, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, he is the leader of The Lightning Crew, and he says he's the most electrifying man in all of professional wrestling. He is the Man With The Golden Contract, which he will cash in at AngleSlam. He is "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "Know Your Role '99" begins playing over the speakers. The crowd boos loudly. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican steps out and "smells the electricity". PRL carries his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside as he walks up to the podium. PR is wearing his standard Corporate attire of a white collar shirt, red tie, black sports jacket, Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, an earring in his left ear, sunglasses, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, his engagement ring on his right ring finger, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. PRL shakes AngleSault's right hand, and then glances over at Zack Malibu and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL is now at the podium prepared to speak. But he's interrupted by the "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. PRL uses this opportunity to "smell the electricity" again. The chant gets louder. The Corporate Champ chuckles. He puts his black spray-painted briefcase on the table next to him. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN FINALLY...Tha Puerto Rican...WILL BECOME WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THA PUERTO RICAN The countdown is on! Three weeks and counting! Three more weeks until my date with destiny! Sunday night. August the 26th. 2007. Madison Square Garden in New York City. The site where YOUR CORPORATE Champion finally...FINALLY takes his rightful place on the OAOAST throne. The site where Tha Puerto Rican will join the legends in immortality! The site where Tha Puerto Rican, come hell or high water, will defeat not one, but TWO...jabronies... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL And will finally get the chance to wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. The crowd boos again. Landon is mockingly applauding PRL. Zack Malibu is just rolling his eyes. PRL And you see, this ain't gonna be no ordinary match. Oh no. This is going to be the greatest Triple Threat Match of all-time! Better than any Triple Threat Match you have ever seen! You've got The Corporate One on one side. You've got The Franchise on the other side. And then you got the World Heavyweight Champion himself on ANOTHER side. And the three of us will duke it out. Oh yes. You better believe we will collide. Because I know that Zack's gonna bring his 'A' game in our match. And I know that our Champion, whatshisface, will bring it-- LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX Landon! My name is Landon Maddix! LAN-DON MAD-DIX! Remember that name, Puerto! You're going to be hearing it alot more from now on! Without missing a beat, PRL continues. THA PUERTO RICAN And we will give you fans a match of a lifetime! But let me tell you something, Lightning Bolts. There's only one way--AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE-- CROWD WAY! Tha Puerto Rican looks annoyed at the crowd finishing his catchphrase (Cough). PRL ...Don't do that. Anyway, as I was saying, there is only one way--AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE WAY--this match will end. And that is with Tha Puerto Rican, with Stephen Joseph Popick AND my fiancee Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez by my side, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over my head with my music playing and confetti falling from the rafters in front of the sold out crowd at Madison Square Garden! LOUD boos for that remark, although there are some cheers mixed in there. PRL looks at the crowd with a satisfied grin on his face. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL And so, on August 26th, I will cash *this* in (points to his black spray-painted briefcase). And some would say it's about time. And you know what? I actually agree with them. IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! And in this match, I have the chance to pin either Zack Malibu-- "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL Or...(mockingly): Landon. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" PRL And I think the question on everybody's mind is, just who will I pin or make submit to win the World Title? Zack Malibu or Landon Maddix? Now, Zack-- PRL turns his attention to Zack Malibu. He has his clear undivided attention. PRL We've had our run-ins in the past. We've gotten down and dirty several times. In Lethal Rumbles, Elimination Chambers, and whatnot. But this is the very first time that I am facing you on a pay-per-view. And in the main event, no less! And, even though I don't really give a damn who I beat to win the match...I gotta say, there's a part of me that's hoping, PRAYING, that it is you I beat to become the World Heavyweight Champion! I mean, how great would that be? The Corporate Champ defeating Zack Malibu, the Franchise of the OAOAST, to win his first World Title! How appropriate would that be? Huh? Do you agree? LOUD boos for that comment. Zack just stares at PRL, his expression as serious as ever. PRL chuckles while looking at Malibu. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh, I am SOOO looking forward to being in the same ring as you, Zack, on the 26th. Finally, Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu will collide in an OAOAST ring. This will be something people will tell their grandkids about in the future. The day they saw Tha Puerto Rican layeth the smacketh down on the single greatest OAOAST Superstar of all-time! That's going to be something! BUT, there is also another person in this match. Landon Maddix. PRL turns his attention to Landon. Landon sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. He holds up the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. PRL That belt's been away from me for far too long. Four years is a very long time in the wrestling world. But it's okay. I can wait a little while longer. Because I know that in three weeks, that belt's coming home with me! Oh yes. That belt will be coming home, will be coming home to the place that it belongs! And Landon, you can whine, you can cry, you can complain, you can bitch all you want. None of that is going to stop me from putting my size 10 boot up your ass at AngleSlam if I have to! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Surprisingly, the crowd pops for that remark. Landon acts appalled that PRL would say such a thing. PRL Landon, there's also a part of me that's REALLY looking forward to ripping that long hair from your head. You have managed to annoy Tha Puerto Rican just by being in this building! And that's no easy feat. If it is you I beat at AngleSlam to win the World Heavyweight Title, then my victory just might be just a *little* bit sweeter! The crowd responds to that with a mixture of boos and cheers. PRL You're not going to be able to hide behind your skank at Madison Square Garden, Landon. I've got you in my scope, and at AngleSlam, I WILL be laying the smackdown on your candy ass! The crowd actually cheers that too! PRL The image of you throwing a tantrum while I celebrate my victory fills me with joy inside. And I hope--no--I KNOW that's exactly what will happen in three weeks at AngleSlam! Because, you, my friend, are going to go down faster than your girl goes down on the bum across the street! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Landon gets up and makes his way towards the podium, but is held back by AngleSault and Theodore Moneymaker! PRL laughs manically at the comment he just made. The crowd responds with a "P.R.!" chant! Landon raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air, taunting Tha Puerto Rican, but P.R. just laughs. AngleSault and Moneymaker are still holding Landon back. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh lord. You're too easy. Too easy! Anyway, I'm ready for AngleSlam! My question is Zack: are you ready? And Landon: are you ready? Well, Landon, I doubt you're ready. But if you really are, then the two of you better JUST BRING IT! Because AngleSlam will be a night the both of you will never EVER forget! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS-- CROWD SPO-KUN~! PRL is annoyed at the crowd once again. THA PUERTO RICAN This is not sing-along with the Champ. Tha Puerto Rican does it by himself. PRL removes the microphone from the podium. He tilts his head back, takes a deep breath-- THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! PRL puts the microphone back on the podium. The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers for the P.R. Menace. PRL raises his black spray-painted briefcase over his head. He points to it and says, "Three weeks!" Puerto Rican then walks away from the podium and to his seat. AngleSault and Theodore Moneymaker have managed to calm Landon Maddix down. A "P.R.!" chant starts, but is quickly drowned out with a "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican just laughs manically while he gets himself a glass of water. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. We must be short on time. That can be the only possible explanation as to why we're suddenly in the presence of Alix Maria Spezia going through the painstaking process of picking this week's lotto numbers. Having given up on 'known sexual conquests' after realising the range of lottery numbers doesn't go high enough, she's settled on 'offences on criminal record' as she flicks through her copy of the magazine. Of course, the other explanation for why we're seeing this could be the quick walk-by by new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champion, Leon Rodez. ALIX Heeeyyy, what's with the upside down frown there mister? Are you really Leon Rodez? The Leon Rodez? Did I set the date on my time machine to 2005 instead of 2007 when I woke up this morning? Uh-oh, I've said too much. Quiet Alix! He cannot know the secrets. Only once he truly loves you can you be transported back to your time. Oh no, wait, that was the plot from Back To The Future. Was that the original or one of the 'cash in on the movie's success with ever decreasing in quality sequels to the point the franchise is ruined, then contemplate a prequel before realising that's pretty much accepting creative defeat'? What would they call a prequel to Back To The Future anyway? Would it be the past, the present, what the hell would be going on? Maybe I should call my agent. It could be the big screenplay writing break I need! But alas, I don't HAVE an agent, not since my pet goldfish Agent Orange's demise. I guess I should have named him 'Agent Gold' really, but goldfish aren't really gold, are they? LEON Are you two done? ALIX .....heeeyyy, what's with the upside down frown there mister? Are you really Leon Rodez? Did I set the da... LEON Jessica Beil. With a long sigh, Alix trails off and gazes into the distance. LEON Interesting. Okay, Alix, do you know where Shayne and Tyler are? I kinda figured they'd be with you by now. ALIX Nah. It's Krista they have the crush on, silly. LEON Poor kids. Okay, well, if you see them... ALIX Hey, you didn't answer my question! LEON Uh... the one about goldfish, or about popular movie prequels? ALIX The one about why you're such a happy clappy chappy! Last time I looked you were all like 'oh, my sister is gone'. 'Oh, I'm so lost without my sister'. 'Oh, my raging pornstar mojo has vanished ever since my poor sister joined The Enterprise, even with so many hot pieces of white Nerdly jailbait ass showing up every week I still can't get no love in my shack!' LEON Just so we're clear, do you count Marv and Mel in that whole 'Nerdly jailbait' thing? ALIX No! They're like, what, twenty seven! You wanna hit that, ain't no law against it. Leon just blinks. LEON Yeah, well, I just won the 6-Man Tag Titles off of Blanchard and co. Plus, I've got a good feeling about AngleSlam. ALIX That's super, little man! Super-de-duper! See, I figured me and Krista stripping off your sister's clothes and leaving her in her underwear in front of thousands of people and millions of TV viewers and then accepting polaroids of certain action shots at our more recent autograph sessions would have got you kinda bummed out just a little bit. LEON Look, I didn't like seeing my sister stripped to her underwear any more than you did. ALIX Actually, I did kinda like it. I did kinda a lot like it. A lot kinda did... uh, I... kinda lot... help? LEON You liked seeing my sister in her underwear. Which, by the way... not cool. Leon wags his finger at Alix LEON But, maybe it was for the best. She won't listen to reason. She wouldn't listen to her friends, her family. So, the only hope is her making her own mind up and unfortunately, hitting rock bottom might just speed that process up a little. ALIX Thanks Dr. Phil! LEON Yeah. So, I'm gonna be going. Nice talking to your brain. ALIX Hey, just one little teensie question before you scuttle off with that fancy little '6' belt. So, for arguement's sake, say if me and you were fooling around like for old time's sake or something and Jade just happened to walk in on us and just happened to fall onto the bed in shock and I just happened to assume she was a burglar, or some sort of alien hybrid slash burglar just to make it a little more kinky and stuff, assuming that happened, would that still be incest? Cause, I was thinking... LEON Goodbye Alix. Just before disappearing out of sight, Leon turns back to Alix and wags his finger again. LEON So not cool. We return to ring floor with the camera focused on that handsome, handsome, announcer Micahel Buffer. Take it away you sexy bitch! BUFFER The following tag team attraction, one fall with a 10 time limit. First, already in the ring…from New Mexico, total combine weight 335 pounds, the meanest, baddest hombres in el mundo…LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Uno and Dos engage in disobedience by raising a gloved fist. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go It's raining men - Hallelujah BUFFER And their opponents, 350 pounds… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As gingerbread men supplied by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties descend from the ceiling, the flaming luchadors Moracca and Mariachi prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage bumping and grinding to the music. COLE Los Diablos de Fuego and Los Conquistadors set to renewal of one of the most brutal rivalries in OAOAST history that featured barb wire gloves and tiara‘s! It wasn’t that long ago both teams competed in a grueling Mexican Deathmatch, with Los Diablos coming out on top. You can bet Los Conquistadors haven’t forgotten about that. COACH There’s something to be said about Los Diablos “coming out on top,” but I’ll take the high road on that one. COLE I thank you for it. You know, I spoke to Los Diablos earlier in the day and I can’t tell you how excited they are to finally get back in the ring. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen them in action. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MORACCA MARIACHI Having learned to ignore the hate often directed as the result of their lifestyle, Los Diablos go on about their business, humping guardrails and searching for hunks to give their sombreros to. A policy they may wish to revise after they’re ambushed by… COLE …THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! COLE Synth and Logan assaulting Los Diablos de Fuego, but why? COACH To make a statement. "SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!" LOGAN His forehead bandaged, Logan smashes Moracca’s face into the guardrail, slicing open the flamboyant superstar. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, Mann targets the cut, pounding his knuckles into the slit pink mask. Synth, meanwhile, snake eyes Mariachi on the steel steps, then whips him into the railing with such force it sends the luchador tumbling over into the crowd! * DINGDINGDINGDINGDING * As the carnage ensues, Los Conquistadors quietly leave the area to avoid the Heavenly Rockers’ wrath, all while the bell continues to be sound. Soon OAOAST officials flood ringside in order to salvage what’s left of Los Diablos de Fuego. But not before the Heavenly Rockers DDT MORACCA ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! COLE Just as they did Baron Windels, breaking his nose in the process, the Heavenly Rockers double the percussion and DDT the flaming luchador on the exposed concrete. What the hell’s wrong with them?! COACH We’re going to find out apparently. Logan’s got a mic. LOGAN Sk8ter Boiz, playtime is over sayeth Logan Usher Mann! It seems as though you’ve grown a pair since the last time anyone’s seen you. You did a pretty good number on us last week. Such a good number we’ve almost forgot you cost us a chance to become the first ever One & Only World tag team champions. But it’s cool. Real STUPID, but cool. Stupid because now you’ve gotten on the Heavenly Rockers bad side, and as your sister can tell you, things get pretty crazy when we’re bad. Because we don’t just get bad, we get… SYNTH/LOGAN …b-b-b-bad to the bone! LOGAN We’re particularly quite fond of breaking them. The cool part is, now you get to work with the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. “YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” SYNTH Meaning the Synthmeister will play a drum solo on your heads! LOGAN We’ve fought the biggest and baddest the OAOAST has had to offer. You on the other hand have faced a bunch of pussies, not just in the one Nerdly family bathroom but in the ring as well. Some penciled 6-packs and my wife won’t be enough to get by us. The beating we laid on Los Diablos is tame compared to the one we’re gonna lay on you at AngleSlam. Staring menacingly in the camera, Logan drops the mic and leaves with Synth to a chorus of boos. COLE The hottest event of the summer just got even hotter. The Heavenly Rockers vs. Sk8ter Boiz at AngleSlam! COACH I'd say I'd feel bad for Mama Nerdly after she watches her two sons get creamed on pay per view, but she has about eight more to makeup for it. COLE Sorry, Coach, I think the decked is definitely stacked against The Rockers in this one. Folks, stay tuned for more HeldDOWN after this. COMMERCIAL Edited August 10, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 COLE And coming up, we've go... Suddenly, boos ring out in the arena, forcing Michael Cole to trail off. Through the entrance way walk Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, the One And Only World Tag Team Champions. And they're not dressed to compete. MONEYMAKER I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm afraid I have some bad news. The Billion Dollar Heir waits for some quiet. MONEYMAKER Earlier tonight, I promised you all a 6-Man Tag Team Title rematch. And it looks like you got it. Earlier tonight, I also promised a One And Only Tag Title defence, seeing as I was in such a good mood. Well, as you can plainly see... I am no longer in a good mood. Which is why, as of right now, that scheduled title defence has been CANCELLED! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What!? Can he do that? COACH Of course he can, he's Theodore Moneymaker! MONEYMAKER Atfer the events of earlier tonight, myself and Christian feel it wouldn't be wise to compete in the current climate. On behalf of The Enterprise, I will be lodging an official enquiry into just how we were robbed of our 6-Man Tag Team Championships. And we will not be competing out of protest at the injustice. Thank you. .:CUE: "Medal":. COLE Uh-oh! Moneymaker freezes as sure enough, the doors part behind him and ANGLESAULT appears to the roaring reception!! After a brief acknowledgment of the cheers, AS turns to Moneymaker and shakes his head. ANGLESAULT You know, you really do keep putting us all in a tough position, don't you? Here I was, expecting a big Tag Team Title match tonight. I go out and I try to put the word out, get anyone stupid enough to miss the show this week to tune in. And you bait and switch? Well 'Theodore', you have your way. For now. You don't have to defend your titles tonight because to be honest, what happened earlier really shouldn't have. MONEYMAKER You're damn right it shouldn't! ANGLESAULT And I feel a little guilty about it. Only a little mind you. So, no title match tonight. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" ANGLESAULT BUT... see, we were expecting one. So I had been in the process of sorting that match out. After what happened earlier, I cancelled your big plans, out of fairness to yourselves. And I put out an open challenge to find a set of challengers, which was understandably answered pretty quickly. So, in my office, we have an open challenge, signed and answered, to face you for the Tag Team Titles. Tonight isn't good for you? In which case, we'll re-arrange and you WILL be defending those titles, next week in Honolulu, Hawaii! Rolling his eyes, Moneymaker ponders how this night could get any worse as AngleSault begins to leave. ANGLESAULT Oh! I almost forgot. The team that answered the challenge... were COD!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE ALRIGHT!! COACH You've got to be ki... MONEYMAKER NO! NO, DAMNIT NO! AS looks shocked at being spoke back to and stops from leaving again. MONEYMAKER This isn't fair! And after what happened earlier on, you want to start being fair to me Mr. Anglesault. Because you see, there's another group of people in my life that don't play fair, my lawyers! And I won't hesitate in hanging you out to dry like an Eddie Murphy paternity suit, so help me! ANGLESAULT I think you and your lawyers will find we've got a legal binding contract with Krista and Alix. MONEYMAKER Fine, but if you give them a title shot, it's on our terms. We choose the match. We choose... we choose the referee, since your officials can't seem to distinguish between an anorexic masked man and a boyband wanabee and who's in a match and who isn't! We'll take those Chicks Over Dicks on, but on the one condition, Mackenzie DeCenzo is the referee! ANGLESAULT If that's what it takes, fine. MONEYMAKER Fine. Then you've got your match! AngleSault nods and finally heads off, "Medal" playing as Moneymaker and Wright are left on stage frustrated with the way their day continues to go. COLE What an announcement. We've got a World Title match, now a World Tag Title match***, both next week here on HeldDOWN~! from Honolulu, what a show that promises to be!! ***=lol not next week if patty is the one who has to write it!!! COMING UP NEXT "I sell thee poison; thou hast sold me none" PICK YOUR POISON NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains. COLE And it's time for our second "Pick Your Poison" match! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is another "Pick Your Poison" match, scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former two-time OAOAST WORLD Heavyweight champion, and the REIGNING WDW Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE And Reject has chosen his former tag team partner, Thunderkid, as Alf's opposition, of course those three men all former associates in the Deadly Alliance! Alf slides through the ropes and poses on the buckles, then hands his belt to the referee. God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way through the curtains to a huge ovation. COLE And Thunderkid getting a tremendous response from the crowd here in Seattle! Back to Buffer! BUFFER His opponent...hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and weighing in at 250 pounds...he is the REIGNING OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK makes his way to the ring, and also poses on the buckles. He hands his belt to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH What a showdown, Cole! Alf and TK face off in the ring. Alf trash talks TK for a few seconds, then gives him a shove, but TK shoves right back! Alf backs off for a minute, then moves in and ties up. TK shoves Alf back into the corner! COLE TK showing off the strength in the early going! Alf moves in and ties up once again. TK grabs a side headlock, but Alf backs him into the ropes, and shoves him off. Alf drops down, then hops back up and leapfrogs TK, before TK bowls him over with a shoulder check, sending him right underneath the ropes to the floor! COLE And Alf early to the outside, he may want to take some time to regroup! Alf wanders around ringside for a minute, then slides back in. He slowly moves in on TK and takes him down with a side headlock. COLE Nice move by Alf right there... TK reaches up with his legs and grabs Alf in a headscissors, but Alf kips up to escape, then takes him down with a second one! TK tries another headscissors, but Alf dodges this one and clamps down on the headlock, forcing TK to the mat... 1... 2... Shoulder up! TK fights the headlock, then forces his way to his feet. He pushes Alf off into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline, but Alf ducks and executes a reverse sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Alf then catches TK with a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Alf with a decided quickness advantage, as you can see right now! Alf then takes him down with another side headlock! COACH Really like what I'm seeing from Alf so far! This time, TK slips out the back, and grabs Alf in an armbar! COLE But a nice escape by TK right there! TK drives a knee into Alf's arm, but Alf is able to sit up, then gets to his feet. Alf drives an elbow right into the face of TK, then applies an armbar of his own! COLE What an elbow by Alf, right to the face! Alf jerks down on the arm a couple times, but TK rolls on the mat, then does a front handspring, and reverses the hold! He forces Alf down to the mat, then drops to his knees and applies pressure. COACH And this one's a see-saw matchup so far, Cole, but I don't think TK can continue to match Alf hold-for-hold like this! Alf works his way back to his feet, then backs TK into the ropes. He drives a knee to the midsection, then whips him across. He drops down, then hops up and attempts another leapfrog, but this time TK catches him and executes a powerslam! COLE Great counter move by TK! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK then applies the armbar once again. Again, Alf gets to his feet and backs him into the ropes. He whips him across, and TK ducks a clothesline and attempts a crucifix, but Alf counters to a Samoan drop! COACH And how about that nice counter by Alf? Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf gets to his feet and turns TK over, executing a snap legdrop! He then stops to taunt the crowd, drawing boos, before picking up TK and whipping him into the ropes. TK ducks a clothesline, then Alf drops to the mat, then comes back up to deliver a AA SPINEBUSTER~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE The action fast and furious here in this match! Alf reapplies the side headlock. TK slowly fights his way to his feet, then sends Alf across the ring. TK drops down, then leapfrogs, then drops down and takes Alf across the ring with a reverse monkey flip! Alf gets to his feet, only to be floored by a TK clothesline! COACH The action's really starting to pick up now, Cole! TK picks up Alf and whips him into the ropes, catching him in a gutwrench...but Alf lands on his feet, then scoops TK up in a gutwrench...and plants him with a TOMBSTONE~! COLE Tombstone piledriver! That could do it if Alf covers! However, Alf scales the top rope instead. COACH No, he's going for the splash! Alf gets his balance on the top rope, and flies off for the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111...but TK rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! Both men lay on the mat, as the referee lays a count on. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! TK sits up, and Alf rolls towards the ropes. TK gets to his feet, waiting for Alf to get to his, and charges...but Alf ducks down, and backdrops TK to the floor! COLE Wow, TK took a big fall right there! COACH I think Alf set him up for that one, Cole! Alf catches his breath briefly, then walks over to the ropes, and hits TK with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! COLE Alf flying out of the ring on top of the Heartland champion! Alf jaws with a couple ringsiders, before picking up TK and ramming him back-first into the ringpost! Alf then rolls TK back in, and executes a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up TK and backs him into a corner. Alf delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH Can you imagine the chopfest between Alf and Reject at AngleSlam? Alf executes a fisherman's suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Two-count! Yes indeed, both Alf and Reject excel with those knife-edge chops, that would be interesting to see! Alf picks up Reject, then picks him up in a suplex, setting him on the top rope. COACH Looks like a superplex or a hurricanrana coming up! Alf follows TK up and grabs him in a front facelock. COLE Looks like a superplex! However, TK delivers a shot to the gut, and a second, and a third, before shoving Alf back to the mat! COLE But TK counters! TK stands up on the top rope, waiting for Alf to get to his feet...and attempts a HURRICANRANA~!...but Alf catches him and powerbombs him to the mat! Alf then holds onto the legs, and steps through them... COLE Alf counters the hurricanrana with a powerbomb, and a cover...no look, could be the Sharpshooter! Alf turns TK over and pulls him to mid-ring, sitting back with the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COACH He's got it! COLE Could this be it for TK? It's right in the middle of the ring! TK tries to push up, but Alf continues to sit down as TK grimaces in pain. COACH I don't think he's going to make it, Cole! TK slowly inches towards the ropes, making pained sound effects the whole way. He finally makes one last lunge, and reaches the ropes! COLE He made it! The referee lays a count on Alf, who breaks at four. Alf then stomps TK in the ropes, before picking him up and backing him into a corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a second! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, TK returns fire on this one! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! TK delivers a second! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf goes to the eyes. COLE TK started to mount a little bit of a comeback, but Alf put a stop to that in a hurry! Alf whips TK across the ring, and charges, but runs right into the foot of TK! COLE But now TK able to stunt that charge from Alf! TK shakes the cobwebs off, then whips Alf across the ring. Alf ducks a clothesline, but TK catches him with a belly-to-belly gutwrench! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! TK measures Alf, and floors him with a clothesline! And a second! And a third! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up again! TK picks Alf up, and lifts him overhead in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE Look at the power still left in TK! TK tosses Alf hard to the mat! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets a foot on the bottom rope! COLE And Alf very lucky to land by the ropes right there! TK lifts Alf up onto the top rope, then follows him up, all the way to the top rope...and executes a HURRICANRANA~! COLE And a hurricanrana from the top by TK! Will this do it? 1... 2... ... NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! COLE What resolve being shown here by Alf, by both men for that matter! TK then signals for the finish! COLE And TK says he's going to end it! TK hooks a front facelock, then lifts Alf in suplex position...but Alf drops behind the back, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! COACH What a match this is, Cole! Can you imagine what's in store at AngleSlam? Alf slowly gets to his feet, and picks up TK, whipping him into the corner. Alf charges, but TK gets a foot up, spinning Alf around. TK sits on the top rope and climbs onto Alf's shoulders, and attempts a victory roll, but Alf blocks in mid-move, turns around, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 once again! COLE Sharpshooter applied again! This could finally be it! As TK makes his way towards the ropes once again, Reject walks towards the ring, holding a steel chair! COLE And now Reject coming to the ring, just like Alf did in his match! COACH But I don't understand what he's waiting for! Reject stands and watches as TK inches towards the ropes. COLE Reject just waiting for the right moment to slide in there! TK reaches the ropes, and wraps both arms around the bottom rope...but that leaves his head open for a Reject chair shot! COACH Look at that, Cole! The referee calls for the bell! *DING DING DING* Alf releases the hold, thinking he's won! COLE I think the referee just dsqualified Alfdogg! The referee explains to Alf what went down, and Alf immediately looks out at Reject. BUFFER The winner of the match, as a result of a disqualification...THUNDERKID! Reject backs down the aisle, smirking and pointing at his head. COLE Reject I think just deliberately got Alf disqualified! COACH Reject really pulled one over on Alf tonight! Alf fumes in the ring, as Reject walks to the back. COLE Reject really playing with Alf's head as we head into AngleSlam! Folks, we will see you next week from Honolulu! Good night, everybody! 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Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2007 (edited) credits for real dude the pirates really suk No, really, think of all the shit that you've done since 1992. That's when the Pirates last had a winning season. Some of you may not have even been old enough to walk in 1992. -I don't mean making the p'offs. I just mean a winning season. All that requires is winning 82 games! Edited August 10, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
