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OAO 11/1 Impact Thread

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PREVIEW FOR THURSDAY’S “iMPACT!” BROADCAST ON SPIKE TV

Semifinals in the Fight For The Right, plus The LAX get their title shot!

By Bill Banks

 

TNA fans in Orlando, Florida – join us tonight (Tuesday) at Universal Orlando in Florida for the “iMPACT!” on SpikeTV tapings! For complete information, visit the Live Events area of the website!

 

This Thursday night, TNA Wrestling “iMPACT!” returns to SpikeTV at 9pm for two hours of Total Nonstop Action! The below is a preview of what you can expect on the broadcast:

 

- The Latin American Xchange of Hernandez and Homicide will get their TNA World Tag Team Championship shot against AJ Styles and Tomko this Thursday on SpikeTV! The LAX earned the match by winning the Ultimate X bout at Bound For Glory. Can Homicide and Hernandez continue their winning streak and regain the gold this Thursday against the new champs?

 

- In the first “Fight For The Right” tournament semifinal match, it will be "The Instant Classic" Christian Cage facing an opponent to be announced on Thursday night.

 

- In the second tournament semifinal scheduled for Thursday night, “Cowboy” James Storm will take on Kaz!

 

The winner of the “Fight For The Right” tournament will earn a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

 

Also this Thursday night will be the fallout from the controversy from the World Heavyweight Championship match between Kurt Angle and Sting! Angle is the new titleholder, but both Kevin Nash and Sting want revenge on the Olympic gold medalist.

 

Plus, rumors are running rampant that Nash somehow already knows the identity of Sting’s partner at the “Genesis” Pay-Per-View! How does Nash know – and will he reveal who that person is? How will Sting react? Tune in this Thursday night on “iMPACT!” to find out!

 

All this and much more this Thursday night on “iMPACT!” on SpikeTV at 9pm, including TNA World Tag Team Champions AJ Styles and Tomko, X Division Champion “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal, The Latin American Xchange, Team 3D, Abyss, Rhino, the TNA Knockout Women’s Division and so much more!

 

Discuss...

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Christ, not many TNA fans left here, eh? Wonder why. All this next stuff is copied from a post I made at the Pit, but this poor neglected thread has seen so little action, I figure it needs a pity fuck.

 

So, I was bored tonight. How bored? Enough to sit down and watch an entire episode of Impact for the first time since they've gone to the two-hour format. Those of you who know me may be shocked, SHOCKED I say, that I found a bunch of stuff to complain about.

 

-No one specific thing makes me feel this way, but the overall TNA product just comes off as... fake. Contrived and choreographed. Insincere in its plastic prefab simulation of a real wrestling show. The attention-deficit editing style certainly doesn't help, it always seems like they can never wait to cut away from whatever's happening now to whatever's happening next. It's all too painfully obvious that Tenay and West are just talking heads, repeating the lines that have been provided to them.

 

-In the entire first hour, there was a combined total of four minutes of wrestling action. FOUR FUCKING MINUTES. Unacceptable. And someone please teach Russo that unsanctioned angle-driven brawling isn't a suitable substitution for actual matches.

 

-It's Total Nonstop Action! So of course we open with a 10-minute promo. Angle still has great delivery on the mic, but he was scrambling to try and cover a storyline that makes no damn sense here with Cornette's bizarre tag-team match with a mystery partner, and the winner gets the heavyweight title? Kurt even pointed out how stupid the angle is in his spiel. He did get in a funny line about how watching a bunch of cop shows made him into a great detective.

 

-Kazarian is like the modern equivalent of Tom Zenk. "If we just keep changing his name, he's bound to eventually get over!" It's not that he doesn't have a gimmick, it's that he doesn't have a character either. (Yes, there is a difference. Stone Cold is a character. The Ringmaster is a gimmick.) Being in pathetic short matches like this sure as hell won't help him either. And I don't think a single fan thinks he's got a chance in hell of winning this stupid tournament thingie. And what was the point of James Storm and Eric Young soaking the canvas in a pathetic attempt at Austin/Sandman debauchery?

 

-Some of the Angle/Borash backstage "interrogation" skits were amusing, especially Black Machismo babbling about the Ultimate Warrior and when Angle broke down crying Austin Powers-stylez about his daddy hating him, but there were way too many, a little goes a long way with this stuff.

 

-So, Team 3D is so much tougher than the entire X Division that nine guys aren't enough to put them through tables?! And where did Alex Shelley's charisma escape to? Nice to see that Russo still just can't resist writing promos directed specifically towards the internet.

 

-The Hoyt/Rave/Hemme promo was a pretty good example of doing everything wrong in an interview. It was the first time this team has ever spoken on-camera, and we're ALREADY getting the standard Russo "tension between tag partners over a woman" crap. It further no ongoing storylines, it led to nothing, and it didn't even vaguely refer to anything that had to do with actual wrestling. Plus, we got our millionth example of Russo's creepy obsession with sexual storylines with Rave apparently talking about Hemme's pussy. Hoyt doesn't seem to realize the physics of speaking into a microphone in order to be heard on tv, and based on evidence here Rave couldn't cut a decent interview if there were snipers in the balconey waiting to cap him if he failed. This was a perfect example for Lance Storm's recent article about TNA's crappy promos.

 

-All that being said, Christy has actually improved quite a bit on her general ringwork and presence, as long as she's not talking she ain't too bad. She leaned into that spinning backfist like a champ, and seeing her literally get bent in half is a memorable visual. Awesome Kong does a good Vader-style beatdown, though she really needs to cut out the goofy Kamala-esque facials.

 

-Dustin Rhodes looks like he's aged ten years in the past three. And what the hell was the point with that key that him and Abyss are fighting over? Nobody ever even tried to explain what this WCW-type bullshit was about. I was looking around to see if Norman the Lunatic was somehow involved.

 

-Christian is psychic. He sure as hell read my mind with his comment of "Can someone explain what's going on around here?!"

 

-Robert Roode is the most absolutely generic and boring young worker who was never a member of La Resistance. He doesn't really do anything wrong, but he's just so bland, nothing he does is any different from any other wrestler in history.

 

-The TNA Edit Monster struck again during the Roode-Joe postmatch angle. Samoa Joe did an absolutely disgusting bladejob, we're talking Corino Meets Abdullah level red waterfall here. But they barely even showed it; he got busted open during the commercial break, and they quickly cut away to the next backstage segment. Way to go, assholes, just ignore the most intense and compelling part of your entire television program.

 

-Christian's match with Chris Harris was... there. I did enjoy some of CC's weird offense like the see-saw kick in the ropes, and how he demonstrated how to pin a guy while actually holding onto the ropes in a manner which would really make it harder to kick out.

 

-The main event was the MOTN, but it's not like there was a lot of competition. AJ looked off at several parts, like that airball dropkick or the weirdly mistimed low blow, but he did redeem himself with the awesome springboard 450 at the end. Who is the guy who ran in with the slapjack? Why do they keep pretending that a nerf ball in a sock is a deadly weapon? Why pay the gigantic salaries for guys like the Steiner brothers if you're only going to show them for literally less than ten seconds before cutting away to yet another backstage Angle segment?

 

-Note to TNA: bait and switch sux. Anyone with a computer knows the mystery partner isn't Scott Hall.

 

-Where was Jim Cornette? More importantly, why did they mention he wasn't there, while never actually even suggesting a reason for his absence?

 

TNA claimed for years that this second hour was going to be their ticket to success. Well, it ain't the first time they lied to us.

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-The Hoyt/Rave/Hemme promo was a pretty good example of doing everything wrong in an interview. It was the first time this team has ever spoken on-camera, and we're ALREADY getting the standard Russo "tension between tag partners over a woman" crap. It further no ongoing storylines, it led to nothing, and it didn't even vaguely refer to anything that had to do with actual wrestling. Plus, we got our millionth example of Russo's creepy obsession with sexual storylines with Rave apparently talking about Hemme's pussy. Hoyt doesn't seem to realize the physics of speaking into a microphone in order to be heard on tv, and based on evidence here Rave couldn't cut a decent interview if there were snipers in the balconey waiting to cap him if he failed. This was a perfect example for Lance Storm's recent article about TNA's crappy promos.

 

Rave never really had a whole lot of charisma. When ROH was trying to make him into an ankle breaking killer, he'd come out and smirk. That was about all the charisma he showed.

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I have yet to watch this show but what is with TNA having the same angle all over the show with various guys having problems with their women? The main angle has Kurt/Karen constantly arguing, then there's Roode and Brooks, this new stuff with Hoyt/Rave/Hemme, even some vague tension with Jackie and Storm.

 

TNA desperately needs to stop with the goofy sports entertainment style crap. TNA has it all over WWE when it comes to actual in ring talent, so why not use these guys?

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-The TNA Edit Monster struck again during the Roode-Joe postmatch angle. Samoa Joe did an absolutely disgusting bladejob, we're talking Corino Meets Abdullah level red waterfall here. But they barely even showed it; he got busted open during the commercial break, and they quickly cut away to the next backstage segment. Way to go, assholes, just ignore the most intense and compelling part of your entire television program.

 

Actually it wasn't a blade job. If you had watched it like you said you did you would have seen in the replay of what happened during the break that Roode threw Joe into the ring steps and he caught the corner and that's what busted him open. If you look at the corner of the steps there is blood on it as well.

 

I thought it was a good show. Was it great no, but it did further storylines which is what the show is supposed to do. More wrestling in the first hour would have been great, but it didn't happen so it's not worth complaining over since it's in the past.

 

I think the best part of Bubba's rant was when he blasted the internet community, specifically those that complain about what is going on with TNA. He/Russo must frequent the boards here.

 

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I know I'm not supposed too, but I really enjoyed this edition of Impact. And for the first time I really enjoyed all of the backstage Kurt Angle segments. Granted, some of them were uneeded but others were really good and not only furthured Angles story arche but others as well (Roode hating women/Harris angry for not getting a chance).

 

The matches themseleves were good as well, I'm a big mark for Kazarian and I'm happy he's getting a fairly decent push.

 

The Team 3D/MCMG angle was probably my favourite moment of the whole show, it made Alex Shelley look like a total star and Team 3D as a bunch of chumps who can't put their money were their mouth is.

 

It's also the first Impact in a while where it's made me really wanting to see the PPV.

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I've missed the last two weeks of Impact! Due to work, but what the hell happened to Tomko/AJ vs LAX? I know they got their shot on Impact, but that's it. How did the Steiners become #1 contenders? I was looking forward to LAX vs Tomko/AJ for the PPV and now that match is gone.

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