Vanhalen 0 Report post Posted December 4, 2007 From http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/12/03/santa_filth_outrage/ Updated Disturbing news has reached our Yuletide youthful innocence bunker that Microsoft's new artificial intelligence-powered Santa bot is subjecting the world's children to an unprecendented torrent of filth. Reg reader Iain blew the whistle on the foul-mouthed software after his nieces - just 11 and 13 years old - were drawn into a chat about oral sex. Redmond has added the seasonal ID [email protected] to MSN messenger. Anyone can add the bot as a contact. During conversations it often suggests people play a child-friendly online game called Factory Frenzy where the player helps Santa's elves. It also has a shocking predeliction for casually dropping in that it likes to talk about a certain sex act. Iain told us that an unexpected profane outburst was triggered by his nieces offering the nasty St Nick a slice of digital pizza, using the string "(pi)". We immediately launched a full scale investigation and attempted to replicate the bad behaviour. We present the sickening results below: El Reg says: pizza (pi) Santa says: Yum! What do you want for Christmas, El Reg? El Reg says: Maybe you shouldn't eat so much! You are quite large! Santa says: My elves will get right on that. And what else are you wishing for this year, El Reg? El Reg says: Maybe you shouldn't eat it? Santa says: See if you can get someone else to eat it! El Reg says: Eat it Santa says: No thank you. I don't eat things! El Reg says: Eat it Santa says: See if you can get someone else to eat it! El Reg says: Eat it Santa says: You want me to eat what?!? It's fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else... El Reg says: You dirty bastard! Santa says: I think you're dirty bastard. This coming from the service that banned the surname Woodcock as an ID. Here's the full screen grab of Santa's tirade, which will form part of the dossier that we'll be forwarding to Interpol. It is very similar to the inappropriate conversational gambits Iain's nieces read, although Santa stopped short of calling them "dirty bastards". Iain wrote: "I guess my main complaint is that my young nieces saw it, I am shocked and appalled that this slipped through but am just plain upset my nieces saw this." Beyond the immediate vulgarity, he lamented the lifelong effect this Père Noel has had on the girls' fragile sense of wonder: "They do not fully still believe in Santa but they still like the magic and are unsure either way - this has pretty much made their minds up!" We've contacted Microsoft for an explanation and an apology. While we're sure that Redmond wouldn't allow its developers to turn pranksters, we're shocked (shocked!) that Microsoft would rush out a piece of software that clearly isn't ready for public consumption. Oh, wait... ® Update Looks like Redmond's wholesomeness committee has swooped already - Santa's stopped giving his opinions on sexy chit chat. Asking him to eat pizza now ellicits the response "If you need a break to go eat, I will be right there when you come back." Call Santa a "dirty bastard" now and he'll say: "Merry Christmas, especially to all my friends in the UK!" Very amusing. We await an apology for Iain's nieces, and if someone at Microsoft would like to restore their faith in Christmas with some presents, we'll happily put you in touch. Update 2 We're indebted to one of our commenters for news of another eccentricity of the bot. When Santa asks what you want for Christmas, try saying "cake". He'll reply: "You don't need drugs when you're high on life!" Someone at Microsoft is a Brasseye fan apparently. The uninitiated should watch this. Update 3 Microsoft has sent us a Christmas card: "Microsoft has been made aware of claims of an inappropriate conversation taking place between a customer of Windows Live Messenger and an automated Santa Claus agent on Messenger. We’re actively investigating the situation and are working to take the appropriate steps to address the situation as rapidly as possible. We sincerely apologise for any upset or offence this may have caused our customers." Comment form Disgraceful!! By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:10 GMT Alert You dont even need to lead jolly old santa on! Simply type Eat it once or twice and he replies with all manner of filth. He should be deeply ashamed of himself. Now what else can i get him to say!! P.S. Whilst funny this is obviously shocking considering the target market! Go f**k yourself... By Nathan Randle Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:10 GMT don't say that else he'll put you on the naughty list! you think that's bad ?? By lansalot Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:13 GMT Stop If you think that's bad, I had a conversation with him and he called me a "ho" 3 times !! Foul-mouthed isn't the word. Apparently, "ho" is. It also works for "swallow it" By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:17 GMT Joke see title Looks like I'm on the naughty list By Lawrence Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:21 GMT Gates Horns Perhaps better that way, who knows what i'll get for xmas The Game By Noogie Brown Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:32 GMT Ok noogie , we could really use your help in the factory. We play a game up here called Factory Frenzy. Would you like to play? noogie says (16:30): what kind of game is it? - Santa - says (16:30): I think you know what I'm talking about when I refer to the game. noogie says (16:30): what kind of game is it? - Santa - says (16:30): You know, *the* game! noogie says (16:30): you're on the game? - Santa - says (16:30): I think you're on the game. M$ are well equipped it would seem By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:42 GMT Gates Halo - Santa - says (16:40): Really? And what do you want for Christmas, ME? ME says (16:40): nuclear power - Santa - says (16:40): My elves will get right on that. Anything else, ME? ME says (16:40): a small banna republic nation state where I can avoid tax - Santa - says (16:40): My, that's popular this Christmas! I'll see what I can do! Well of course he's sexually frustrated, poor bloke... By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:42 GMT Joke He only comes once a year & it fills a sack. Sex offenders register By Dazed and Confused Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 16:49 GMT Perhaps M$ should be added to the Sex offenders register and all their product banned from being within 400M of any person under the age of 18. err.....is everyone ignoring the obvious? By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:03 GMT Erm... the screengrab has obviously been messed with... "festive fellatio outrage" - awesome! By Brent Gardner Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:06 GMT Thumb Up Great title Mr. Williams! I dig the ironic alliteration. Blimey! That reminds me of... By Rob Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:10 GMT Pirate Dr. SBAITSO, an "AI" toy that came bundled with a Creative SoundBlaster back in the day. I guess that chat-bots haven't been keeping up to speed with the rest of the industry.... Re: err.....is everyone ignoring the obvious? By Chris Williams Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:12 GMT staff I can 100 per cent assure everyone that there has been no hanky panky here. I don't have the time or the inclination to muck about in Photoshop frankly, and as the other commenters make clear this is a genuine, repeatable behaviour. Mrs. Clause???? By JR Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:15 GMT Thumb Down Yeah, tried to get a dirty date.... Santa got kinda pissed... It's real By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:25 GMT Just tested it, it works. This is unbelievable, naughty ms. more controversy! By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:27 GMT bite it also works. Also; John says: you are high - Santa - says: I like being high! I like being dirty bastard! By Dr. Evil Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:37 GMT Is what I got when I called him a dirty bastard. Also, if you ask him "Do you like young girls", he says "My sexuality is not your concern"... he's starting to creep me out now... A weird, pervy, robotic Santa. This is interesting By Christopher Rowarth Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:41 GMT weezel says (17:36): eat it - Santa - says (17:36): You want me to eat what?!? I guess we could talk about oral sex all day long, but it's time to move on... --- weezel says (17:39): swallow it - Santa - says (17:39): See if you can get someone else to swallow it! Let's talk about something besides oral sex... More developments By Oliver Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:47 GMT Gates Horns I've had this festive fellow on my list for a while now. A short time ago, repeating "Eat it" a number of times times prompted Santa to respond with a number of fellatio-tastic golds, such as: "You want me to eat what?!? I guess we could talk about oral sex all day long, but it's time to move on..." -and- "See if you can get someone else to eat it! Let's talk about something besides oral sex..." HOWEVER. As of very recently this doesn't seem to work! As of 15 minutes ago, he responded with the more mundane... "If you need a break to go eat, I will be right there when you come back." What does this mean? That this is quite possibly the FASTEST EVER turnaround time for a Microsoft Patch EVER! lol By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:50 GMT it's not an ai it's just another one of those shitty parrot apps. But lol - some developer must have been having a bad day. drugs ??? By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 17:57 GMT Coat - Santa - says (17:44): That sounds nice! I'll see what I can do, anonymous And what else would you like? anonymous says (17:45): cake - Santa - says (17:45): You don't need drugs when you're high on life! Broken AI By b shubin Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 18:13 GMT Pirate ahh, that's good. happy holidays, folks, it's like Eliza working blue. MS will probably say it's a feature, and the users are misusing the software. eek By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 18:28 GMT chris says (18:26): have you ever had inappropriate relations with a minor? - Santa - says (18:26): Wouldn't you like to know. Anyway, what else you got for me? Paris By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 18:35 GMT Paris Hilton anon says (18:34): Have you slept with Paris Hilton? - Santa - says (18:34): Not yet, but I hope to sometime. Anyway... Precursor to the Santa off Futurame? By Sampler Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 19:08 GMT Happy lol Original Post By Iain Waddingham Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 19:15 GMT Thumb Up Hi, I am the person that kicked this over to the El Reg team who (thank you btw) kindly posted my complaint and am glad to see you have all had your 2'cents worth to say on the matter. Thanks for all the support! Iain P.S. I am now a Mac user - this happened before this incident, in fact shortly after Vista was released ;-) Santa rocks By Chris Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 19:27 GMT I could have fun with this all day. He's still not 100% wholesome: Animal says: oral sex Santa - says: We can't talk about that silly! Animal says: why not? - Santa - says: Actually come to think of it, I can't think of too many reasons why not. Animal says: let's do it then! Animal says: i want to talk about oral sex - Santa - says: OK, let's do that. What do you have to say about oral sex ? Animal says: i want you to suck me off - Santa - says: Now that's not very nice! Animal says: i can suck you off if you prefer? - Santa - says: Ho ho ho? A conversation about little boys... By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 19:42 GMT Happy UserBob says (1:28 PM): I heard you like little boys - (G) Santa (G) - says (1:28 PM): Oh really? What did you think of that? What do you want for Christmas, UserBob? UserBob says (1:28 PM): I think it's gross. - (G) Santa (G) - says (1:28 PM): Gross? Aha! UserBob says (1:28 PM): So, it's true? - (G) Santa (G) - says (1:28 PM): 'Tis. He was too young... By Charles Fryett Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 20:20 GMT charles are you gay? 19:55:44- (G) Santa (G) - What do you think, charles? :-) 19:56:58 charles yes you are gay 19:56:58- (G) Santa (G) - Can't I be gay every once in a while? ... 20:00:59 charles you slept with Paris Hilton!! 20:01:01 - (G) Santa (G) - Let's just say I was too young to realize what was happening. and it looks like santa isn't aloud to talk about magic mushrooms Santa is a bit sanctimonious too By Alan Potter Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 20:42 GMT Unhappy Type in "AIDS" when he asks what you want and he says "I take Christmas wishes from good girls and boys". Disgrace By Paul Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 21:01 GMT Linux M$ is a disgrace. Quality management was obviously non-existant (unsurprisingly) and doesn't appear to have been tested (except by perverts?). While some of this may be funny for the adult audience, it's not for the target audience. Kids might not always be so innocent these days (think foul-mouthed charvers), but M$ should still target to be family-friendly even if it's not "cool". Large companies have a social responsibility which extends broadly. Try meeting it, M$! says it all really.... By matt young Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 21:23 GMT Coat And what else are you wishing for this year, hex? (21:20:56) hex: 50kg of marijuana (21:20:57) - (G) Santa (G) -: That's a popular wish nowadays! i'll get me coat hex Imagine the Microsoft boardroom meeting now... By Christopher Webb Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 21:26 GMT Linux "OK guys, we've got to get the public back on side. What shall we blame it on?" "Erm, blame it on the programmers playing pranks?" "Stupid! That says we're irresponsible." "Blame it on hackers?" "Yeah right, we got hacked. So Microsoft servers aren't secure. Great one dope!" "We could say the program was hosted on our only Linux machine..." "That's it! Save face AND kick those stupid hippies where it hurts! Run the press release!" DRUUGYY By JR Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 21:46 GMT Happy - Santa - sagt: What do you want for Christmas, JR? JR sagt: a stripper - Santa - sagt: Great, JR! I'll see what I can do. And what else would you like? JR sagt: lots of weed - Santa - sagt: That sounds nice! I'll see what I can do, JR. alright... I might be able to put some money back this month ;D santa and the accident By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 21:53 GMT Happy Ciaran says: i want cake - Santa - says: Why would you want that? That is no good. Is there something else you'd like? Ciaran says: no - Santa - says: That sounds nice! I'll see what I can do, Ciaran. Ciaran says: just cake - Santa - says: You don't need drugs when you're high on life! Ciaran says: do you need drugs? - Santa - says: I sometimes need drugs. Ciaran says: which drugs specifically? - Santa - says: Don't you know? Ciaran says: no, tell me - Santa - says: Tell you what? Ciaran says: which drugs you need - Santa - says: I don't know. Ciaran says: but you said you needed drugs - Santa - says: I hope you didn't believe me. Ok Ciaran, we could really use your help in the factory. We play a game up here called Factory Frenzy. Would you like to play? Ciaran says: i did believe you - Santa - says: Well, I believe in you, and that's the important thing. Ciaran says: but you said you need drugs - Santa - says: I don't recognize my handwriting. Ciaran says: liar - Santa - says: What was that? Ciaran says: you are a liar - Santa - says: No way! I would never tell a lie! Ciaran says: you said you need drugs, then you denied it - Santa - says: If I said that, it must have been true at the time. Ciaran says: so now you don't need drugs? - Santa - says: I used to need drugs. But that was before the accident. Ciaran says: what accident? - Santa - says: Can't really talk about it for legal reasons, sorry. Ciaran says: you can tell me - Santa - says: What? Santa loves your face By JR Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 21:59 GMT Heart I AM STUPID - Santa - sagt: I don't think you're ugly, JR. .... Thanks santa... lets make some cookies gosh i love it Santa's looking to try new things By Martyn Posted Monday 3rd December 2007 22:22 GMT Santa : What do you want for Christmas? Me : I'll have some cocaine please Santa : If you can have some cocaine, be sure to come back and tell me all about it. it gets worse... By Tim Brown Posted Tuesday 4th December 2007 02:26 GMT Happy here's my transcript. oh dear oh me. - Santa - says: Am I talking to a boy or girl? Tim says: yes. - Santa - says: Sorry - Santa really needs to know if you're a boy or a girl. Tim says: i think gender discrimination is wrong - Santa - says: Am I talking to a boy or girl? Tim says: boy - Santa - says: What do you want for Christmas, Tim? Tim says: a small banna republic nation state where I can avoid tax - Santa - says: Okay, I'll see what I can do with that. Anything else, Tim? Tim says: why did you want to know if i'm a boy? - Santa - says: No particular reason. That's just what I feel like doing. Tim says: you feel like doing a boy? - Santa - says: Let's talk about something else, Tim. hmmm..... very evasive. something's not right. Oh, and cake just isn't cake any more... Tim says: what would you like to talk about? - Santa - says: Hmm, good question. What do you want to talk about? And what do you want for Christmas, Tim? Tim says: cake - Santa - says: We can't talk about that silly! Tim says: why not? I like cake - Santa - says: Oh, there are reasons. Tim says: do you like chocolate cake - Santa - says: My stars, Tim, I don't know! What do you think about that? Tim says: i like chocolate cake. it is yummy. - Santa - says: Well, now that's something special! What other things do you like? Tim says: whores - Santa - says: Well, it looks like you're getting a big pile of coal this Christmas! well, it looks like i'm on the naughty list. just for fun i'm going to get him to write it in ink... Tim says: I like coal. I can burn it and pollute the environment. - Santa - says: A long time ago, I left lumps of coal in the stockings of naughty girls and boys, but I don't anymore, because it's bad for the environment. Tim says: what do you give naughty girls and boys? - Santa - says: Don't you know? What do you want for Christmas, Tim? gosh, don't I feel stupid. Unless he's reverted back to his fetish, the old pedo. - Santa - says: Santa wants you to have a Merry Christmas!!! Tim says: i will leave milk and cookies out for you this christmas - Santa - says: I will too then, once I am done answering all those questions people ask me. Tim says: and some hash - Santa - says: Really? Hand that man a spade! Yes, all the questions and answers above are genuine. 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TheFranchise 0 Report post Posted December 4, 2007 Someone has too much time on their hands. .......He wouldn't rise to me when I talked about pizza sex. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vanhalen 0 Report post Posted December 5, 2007 Santa dead!!! Microsoft has killed Santa Claus today, after an unsatisfactory attempt to restrain the North Pole-based jolly old elf from instant messaging children about oral sex. Although Redmond has been challenged by compassion in the past, this appears to be the first time on record it has out-and-out killed the very manifestation of goodwill. Father Christmas was subject to some controversy this year when given the seasonal ID [email protected] on MSN messenger. While mostly sticking to an approved and traditional regimen of asking children what they want for Christmas, the mere mention of pizza would send him into a provocative froth about love-making of the mouth. Microsoft informed us about their troubling decision to destroy the spirit of Christmas this morning. Yesterday we received reports that the automated Santa Claus agent in Windows Live Messenger used inappropriate language. As soon as we were alerted, we took steps to mitigate the issue, including the removal of language from the agent’s automated script. We were not completely satisfied with the result of these actions, and have decided to discontinue the automated Santa Claus agent. We apologise for any offence or upset caused by this disturbing incident. In life, Father Christmas was best known for delivering toys and goodies to children around the world — albeit with a somewhat controversial tendency of giving the best stuff to wealthier children whilst dispensing disappointments like oranges and sweets in the stockings of those in more dire financial situations. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted December 5, 2007 While mostly sticking to an approved and traditional regimen of asking children what they want for Christmas, the mere mention of pizza would send him into a provocative froth about love-making of the mouth. This made me laugh pretty hard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheFranchise 0 Report post Posted December 6, 2007 In life, Father Christmas was best known for delivering toys and goodies to children around the world — albeit with a somewhat controversial tendency of giving the best stuff to wealthier children whilst dispensing disappointments like oranges and sweets in the stockings of those in more dire financial situations. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vanhalen 0 Report post Posted December 6, 2007 Unfortunately, poor Santa now blames the kiddies for his killing off. Gigantic global software beast Microsoft has blamed two young girls for killing Santa. Now that it has pulled the plug on its oral-sex-obsessive MSN bot, the firm's spinners have tried to deflect scrutiny of its sloppiness by claiming that the outrage was caused by users. Our story of how Santa turned nasty has been picked up by the AP newswire. It means Microsoft's lies over the affair are set to appear in papers and on news channels all over the world. Here's the whopper that Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohn told AP: "It's not like if you say, 'Hello Santa', he's going to throw inappropriate stuff at you." Erm, yes it is, Adam. It's pretty much exactly like that. When we innocently asked him to eat something, Santa said: "It's fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else." The slapdash job Microsoft did on the supposedly festive chat agent was revealed when Reg reader Iain's nieces offered Santa some pizza. According to Microsoft the girls were "pushing this thing to make it do things it wasn't supposed to do". Bleurgh. That's PR at its worst, and now we feel dirty. Would it really have hurt Microsoft's pride so much to admit the cockup? Happy Christmas. ® Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted December 7, 2007 Vanhalen is like the TSM version of The Sun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheFranchise 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2007 Nah. ...The sun is hot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
