King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 6, 2007 (edited) [i]Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime[/i] The most OTT intro in TV today plays as... [b][color="#008000"]The Enterprise [/color]presents... In association with the [color="#FF0000"]OAOAST[/color] and [color="#4169E1"]TSM[/color][/b] [color="#808000"][size=3][b]REEL TALK[/b][/size][/color] [size=1]Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Produced By Simon Singleton Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly[/size] MOLLY (Voice-Over) Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience. "BOOOOOOOOO [i]*cannedapplause*[/i] OOOOOOOOOOO!" The curtain raises on the most expensive set in OAOAST Talk Show history once more as it's time for some Reel Talk. Clad in their best pastel blue suits, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton relax on their orange couches with a couple of beautiful [s]plants[/s] ladies who are clearly very excited to be there. The duo seem oblivious to the fact they're on TV for a second or two, what with the hands being carrassed over their torsos. Not each other's hands you understand. Those of the plants... I mean ladies. Damnit. SIMON Ah! Good evening, welcome one and all to the classiest joint in town, for some more Reel Talk. I am of course the B.O.S.S, "Box Office" Simon Singleton, back for another edition of the show that truly is Reel-ality TV at it's best. And, Ned, who are those lovely ladies with us? NED Well it's funny you should ask, Simon. Let me introduce you to Ms. 1,841 and [i]Mrs.[/i]... oh yes... 1,842. The girls giggle, apparantly more than happy to be two in the list of many pushing Ned on towards that elusive Wilt Chamberlain record. SIMON Wow. I guess that means that THIS is the real Love Shack. NED Does that sound like me, man? You know me better than that. You don't need to love The Handsome Hustler to shack up with The Handsome Hustler. In the end, they all leave the same way. Sore and satisfied. SIMON That'd make a great t-shirt. *holds hand over his earpiece* Mel, get on that. NOW, on with the show! As everybody knows, Reel Talk is where it's at. We get the big guests and we get the big scoops and boy, have we got one for you this week. A man who specifically requested a slot on this show. He didn't want some half-hearted effort with Gene Okerlund or Josh Matthews or... some other hack... does Randy Savage still work here? Not important. Let's just get our guests out. Co-commissioners of the SWF, Megan Skye and our favourite former World Heavyweight Champion... NED Crystal? SIMON No, the non-female one. NED Oh. SIMON LANDON MADDIX ladies and gentlemen! The canned applause machine goes into overdrive as Landon and Megan make their way onto the set, Landon admiring the luxurious set... and the ladies now leaving the set, their job as decoration safely carried out. Megan doesn't seem to appreciate that too much but appreciates the gentlemanly welcome from Simon and the VERY gentlemanly welcome from Ned. Landon shakes hands with the BHB too before waving to the studio audience, apparantly mistaking the canned applause for real applause. SIMON Landon, thanks for coming onto the show. LANDON Oh, no problem. You know, yours is the only show I'd ever dream of appearing on. That not at all rehearsed interchange ends with smiles all round. SIMON So, what brings you onto Reel Talk? LANDON Well, I've got some real talk to lay down on the OAOAST. See, New Year is approaching and the year of 2007 is coming to a close. This year truly has been the Year Of La Cucaracha, I don't think I'm stretching in saying that, but it's time to start thinking ahead. Time to start thinking about 2008 becoming Another Year Of La Cucaracha. I've got a lot to live up to and I've got a lot to accomplish. NED 2008 could be a real record-breaker, that's for sure. So, Megan... MEGAN Yes? LANDON (ignoring Ned and Megan) Taking over the SWF and becoming the first man in history to hold the World Titles of the SWF and the OAOAST in their career will never be forgotten. Now, I've got new goals. Top of the list, regaining the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. That's why I wanted to come on here tonight, to put everybody on notice. I'm offically throwing my name into the hat for the Lethal Rumble next year. Simon and Ned's eyebrows peak as they collectively realise the scoop they've got. LANDON I don't have many blots on my records but last year, the Rumble was one of them. I was close, and I mean, [i]this[/i] close to putting that on the resume. First man to win the Clusterfuck and the Lethal Rumble. One elimination away. Next year, I intend on going that one better. When it comes to battle royals... *shrugs*... I dunno, I guess I've just got a gift. Two Clusterfuck victories over at the SWF, the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania, another SWF battle royal win, last two of the Lethal Rumble. It's my match. And it doesn't matter who's in there with me. Nothing is going to stop me from going all the way this year, through 29 others, then on to AngleMania to get back my World Title. SIMON Well, unless we enter. NED Then again, we might be busy with a clusterfuck. LANDON Oh really? Because I'm sure we could keep a couple of spots open for you, if you're interested. Ned's starts to freak, before Simon leans over and explains where exactly the wires have gotten crossed. NED Heh... of course. SIMON Well, Landon, we appreciate you using us as your forum for that big announcement. And we wish you luck in the Rumble. LANDON Oh and I should also mention, Landon Maddix's Non-Denominational Winter Funtime Extravaganza, Wednesday 19th December. If you're in Iowa, why don't you come on over and see us. Not like there's much else to do there. NED (thinking aloud) I think number 863 came from Iowa. SIMON If you are number 863, by all means give us a call and let us know. Meanwhile, Landon, thank you, that's Reel Talk for another week. [i]Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime[/i] [size=1]Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Produced By Simon Singleton Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly © The Enterprise[/size] COLE Ned and Simon with ALL the hard-hitting questions, as usual. COACH What are you trying to imply? COLE Well, I wanted to hear a little more from Landon besides just that announcement. Like comments on the Triple Decker Cage and the Riot Act Pl... COACH That was weeks ago. Move with the times wouldya. That's what Ned and Simon do. They're trendsetters. That's Reel Talk. What's next? Edited December 6, 2007 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
