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Maztinho

Confessions of a Grocery Store Santa

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This is a little blog I put up on MySpace, but figured it might be a nice discussion here as well. Or not. Whatever...

 

 

 

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So, I was Santa at work today. It was pretty awesome, although I had at least 8 kids go into SCREAMING bloody murder fits when their parents put them on my lap, or even moved towards me.

 

Some just said, "Take the picture quick" and one mother/grandmother put her child/grandchild through like 45 minutes of torture because the kid didn't want to come near me and so the parent would try and bribe her, tell her it was alright, and eventually started berating the child for not sitting on Santa's lap. The kid was in hysterics the whole time. Tears streaming down her face and she was physically shaking with terror at this giant mass of red and fur (which would be me). I mean really at some point you just have to cut your losses and just leave without a picture. The lady then tried some sort of sneak attack Santa drop off by walking away with the child and coming around the back, when the kid found herself within *GASP* arms reach of this grinning Devil with Candy Canes she nearly exploded in anguish and horror. Eventually the lady got the picture that this wasn't going down and left (actually it was towards the end of the run, so I wouldn't have been surprised to see another attempt from the lady to further traumatize her kid.)

 

Why?

 

I mean yeah the two year olds who start crying or the babies who are suddenly thrust into a strangers arms and react accordingly just snap the picture and go. The kid calms down once returned to their mother or father and the parents get their picture to show to everyone forever. But when the kid is like 3-4 and _still_ ain't having nothing to do with the S-man, just leave them be. Some kids just needed some talking and then they'd sheepishly advance, or when they saw I had candy they came over and stood for their snapshot, and that sort of persuasion is fine, but I can't help but think this kid is going to HATE Santa forever because her mom/gramma wouldn't let it go.

 

Is the overall psychological welfare of your child really worth a picture of their screaming tear lined face? Maybe I'm just used to being that kid who didn't want to play ball and get their picture taken with a weirdo who breaks into my house at night leaving gifts.

 

I even heard some parents trying to scare their kids into sitting with me. Good message people. See this man? HE CONTROLS ALL THE JOY IN YOUR LIFE OBEY US!

 

It was fun, but it's interesting to see how parents treat their kids, and how abnormal some of them behave all in the name of tradition.

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omg, i totally agree. if your kids are screaming and kicking it's not worth it. is a picture with someone in a Santa suit that worth it?

 

i could totally go on my "bah humbug" rant, but i'll spare y'all.

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise

Tomorrow, I'm scanning the picture of me with a Korean mall Santa from when I was like three or something.

 

To clear up any misplaced modifier concerns, it was a mall Santa who was Korean, not a Santa at a Korean mall.

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Y'know, I was pretty shy as a kid, but it never really got to that level. Perhaps because I never actually believed in Santa Claus, so I knew that I was expected to take a picture with a guy in a suit because it would please my mom, so I did it as a favor to her. I mean, I'm sure my understanding of it was more primitive at the time, but that's basically what was going on. I wouldn't talk to him, though. My mom would say to the guy "He's shy." and he'd say "Oh, ok." Sit, smile, picture, move on.

 

I couldn't be one of those guys though, because I've grown up to be terrified of children, due to having no idea how to react to them. I'm too used to being outrageously profane and talking about wildly inappropriate subject matter, so I'll usually just stare at my feet and clam up.

Actually, they tell me I'm really good with kids if I'm tricked into it, like getting me playing video games with them or looking at their toys. Then I'll start to relate to them on their own level. The inverse of the frightened child, I suppose.

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Yeah, the hurried, point-and-click process coupled with the noisy, crowded, impatient environment doesn't help matters either.

 

Anybody here read "The Santaland Diaries" by David Sedaris?

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Yeah, the hurried, point-and-click process coupled with the noisy, crowded, impatient environment doesn't help matters either.

 

Anybody here read "The Santaland Diaries" by David Sedaris?

 

Well actually I work in a smaller store, so it wasn't really crowded, it was more like... Hey Santa, and the parents would bring the kids over. So in that aspect it wasn't as bad as say... Shopping Mall Santas.

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One of the last times, my parents dragged me and the brothers to see Santa when I was 10 or 11, me and the Santa ended up having a short conversation about who would win between Sting and Hogan at Starrcade '97.

 

That's the only lasting memory I have of going to see "Santa"

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The first time I saw a Santa Clause was at the town tree lighting, and as soon as I sat down on his lap it started to snow. Or so says my mother. I was always up for seeing Santa Clause. I think this is because I was a spoiled kid.

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Bumping this, since I was Santa again this year. Nothing of note really happened. The usual scared children (ages 2-3) and my coworkers kid seeing that it was me and not wanting to sit on my lap because I wasn't "the Real Santa".

 

On the plus side there was tons of little, little babies this year, like at least a dozen under 4 months old. Sooooo cute.

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I saw a mall santa eating at Chili's the other night. He was still in his costume (he ditched the jacket, but still had the hat and pants. I believe his beard was real). You don't leave the costume on do you?

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What kind of grocery store has a Santa?

When I donned the Santa costume three years ago it was because the Santa Coca-Cola truck (the one you see in the commercials) stopped by. They take it on a nation wide tour every year. The guy that was supposed to play Santa fell ill, and they were just going to have the Polar Bear. They asked me and I at first thought they were joking and I said no. Then I saw two little kids ask one of the coke men if Santa was going to show up and he said Not this year and the kids walked off with a sad look on their face. This was the moment I decided to put on the costume. It was a fun gig, and those two little kids were surprised to see Santa made it after all.

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What kind of grocery store has a Santa?

When I donned the Santa costume three years ago it was because the Santa Coca-Cola truck (the one you see in the commercials) stopped by. They take it on a nation wide tour every year. The guy that was supposed to play Santa fell ill, and they were just going to have the Polar Bear. They asked me and I at first thought they were joking and I said no. Then I saw two little kids ask one of the coke men if Santa was going to show up and he said Not this year and the kids walked off with a sad look on their face. This was the moment I decided to put on the costume. It was a fun gig, and those two little kids were surprised to see Santa made it after all.

 

This xmas miracle brought to you by refreshing CokeLogo.jpg

 

 

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

When I was getting some christmas bullshit the other day, there was a mall santa, and a man (or maybe woman) in a Chik-Fil-A "Eat mor chikin" cow suit in santa gear meandering around the food court.

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What kind of grocery store has a Santa?

 

I live in a town with no malls. So for years people went to K-Mart (my stores former neighbors in the strip mall) to see Santa, when that shut down Albertson's filled the void. The last couple of years, I've been the go to guy. They set up a little display in the movie cubby, and it's pretty laid back, parents just wander over with their kids and they hop on my lap (willingly, or after being persuaded to do so) get a free picture taken, fire off a quick list of things they want and get a candy cane. They can pick the photos up later that day, or whenever they bother to show back up looking for them.

 

It's a fun gig, surprisingly there's quite a few people that dress their kids up to come see Santa. One of the aforementioned babies was dressed like an elf, she was like 2 months old and was just so fucking cute with little curled booties and candy cane striped tights, and a little Santa hat. She just cooed the whole time.

 

I don't think I mentioned it in my initial blog, maybe it happened the year before is why, but I always remember this one family. A Latino family came in, dressed in well kept but well worn clothes. The two boys where in button-down shirts, and the little girl had on a frilly white dress to see Santa. The mom had a newborn in her arms, and the oldest boy prolly 8 quietly handed me a letter and told me he wanted some Pokemon stuff, the younger brother around 5 wanted Pokemon stuff and his sister (3-4ish) didn't say much but her eyes lit up when I mentioned a doll. They took their pictures and the mom asked a couple of times "I pick up at 4, yes?" They walked away, and I opened the boys letter. It was written in what I assume was the mothers handwriting, outlining Pokemon and some other things, and "muneca Barbie" for the daughter, and at the bottom a different handwriting, obviously the 8 year old boys writing, "A coat for my baby brother." My heart broke, I had to take a break and go cry in the break room.

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So did he get the coat, or did he die?

 

Mall Santas, man. So weird. I never really went, but I can imagine what it's like for a 5-year-old to tell Santa he wants some weird thing, and then mom and dad can't get it or forget to get it. A world of illusions, shattered, and a really annoying Christmas for the family.

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