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Big Ol' Smitty

The War on Christmas: 2K8

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This has been a very long War.

 

If it turns out anything like the War on Drugs, then in 10 years I expect Christmas to be more widely available and a hell of a lot cheaper on my wallet.

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I'm getting suited up again. I'm thinking of shooting reindeer from a helicopter a la Palin this year. Or maybe just breaking into homes and shitting in children's stockings. Ya know, gotta fight the good secular fight.

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Guest C*Z*E*C*H

This is a really good thread, and I'm glad to see it bumped. It snowed briefly today, so I'm really getting into the Mas spirit again.

 

You can fight the war on Christmas, Smitty, but I think we should instead declare war on Kwanzaa. What a bunch of crap. I acknowledge that Christmas is a winter solstice festival repurposed into the birth of Christ repurposed into materialism and overeating, and that Chanukah is a military victory repurposed into Substitute Christmas Phase III, but Kwanzaa is just straight-up bullshit.

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Guest C*Z*E*C*H

I thiiiiink it's some sort of late-'60s revival of African harvest festivals. There's some sort of menorah ripoff involved, and possibly a big dinner. I mean, you can have it, but it doesn't deserve equal billing. I've never had any black friends who celebrated Kwanzaa. Before you Edited For Accuracy me, the last sentence here is not intended to be "I've never had any black friends." I had one black friend in 2nd grade. He threw gravel at me and I got mad and went to play with someone else. Then he yelled "Danny doesn't like me cuz I'm black. DANNY DOESN'T LIKE ME CUZ I'M BLACK." It was really embarrassing; I don't want to talk about it ever again.

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One of my older brother's black friends used to come over to our house quite a bit. I was really little at the time, and apparently I would just sit and rub his head for long periods of time since I'd never seen such hair.

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One of my older brother's black friends used to come over to our house quite a bit. I was really little at the time, and apparently I would just sit and rub his head for long periods of time since I'd never seen such hair.

 

And he would just let you do that. Creepy.

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Dude, I was getting a haircut browsing through a Readers Digest in early October and there was an ad for Cambells Soup and to my horror I looked down and noticed tiny holly wreaths attatched to the logo. I flipped.

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One of my older brother's black friends used to come over to our house quite a bit. I was really little at the time, and apparently I would just sit and rub his head for long periods of time since I'd never seen such hair.

 

Good thing you grew out of that.

 

Yeah, Kwanzaa is bullshit. It's telling that the thing has been around for the entirety of our lives, but none of us know what it's about or what purpose it serves. Black people are overwhelmingly Christian, and thus celebrate Christmas. There's no need for a secondary holiday.

 

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This has been a very long War.

 

If it turns out anything like the War on Drugs, then in 10 years I expect Christmas to be more widely available and a hell of a lot cheaper on my wallet.

 

Amen and may God bless us, one and all.

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Sigh.

 

I'm trying to get Xmas off the ground. As a Futurama reference, I think it has legs. I know a few people who genuinely celebrate Festivus. Xmas is no worse than that.

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Guest C*Z*E*C*H
Dude, I was getting a haircut browsing through a Readers Digest in early October and there was an ad for Cambells Soup and to my horror I looked down and noticed tiny holly wreaths attatched to the logo. I flipped.

I'm so glad you mentioned this. Not early holiday themes or Reader's Digest, but Campbell's Soup. I was just about to post about in the Food Folder, but now I can just do it right here in the thread I'm reading: this sodium-controlled chicken noodle soup is absolutely disgusting. Fucking gross. I happily subsisted on nothing but chicken soup, with or without noodles, pretty much the entire month of March. I haven't had any since then. But this. THIS. It's sour and vegetable-flavored. Even the chicken meat tastes like celery. I only made this because I couldn't find anything else for dinner and removing the lid of this particular can did not necessitate a can opener. I was so excited, now so disappointed. It's cold and ugly outside. This is a horrible time in my life.

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That soup doesn't rock, if I remember correctly.

 

Are you talking about Campbell's Soup as a whole, or just the low-salt kind? Because we have a few cans of low-sodium Homestyle chicken noodle in the house, and there ain't no WAY I'm eating that crap. But anyone who doesn't like regular Campbell's is a fuckin' heathen.

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Guest C*Z*E*C*H

Not as a whole, only the low-sodium ready-to-serve chicken noodle soup. It was terrible. I don't think it was Homestyle. What does that entail? Being thicker? This was kinda thick. A little thicker than I prefer my chicken soup to be. Maybe it was. I sound like an old man with health problems, complaining that my sodium-restricted soup was not tasty enough. My back hurts.

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Guest C*Z*E*C*H

What do you care? You're Mr. Conservative, so economy-stimulation should be a good thing, and I've never known you to be particularly religious.

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Not as a whole, only the low-sodium ready-to-serve chicken noodle soup. It was terrible. I don't think it was Homestyle. What does that entail? Being thicker? This was kinda thick. A little thicker than I prefer my chicken soup to be. Maybe it was. I sound like an old man with health problems, complaining that my sodium-restricted soup was not tasty enough. My back hurts.

No, homestyle means little, inch-long, super-thin noodles. I don't know why it's called such because that sure as hell ain't how they make soup in my family. We use rotini, though. I'm sure not everyone does that. BUT THEY SHOULD.

 

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I go through phases with soup. Sometimes I prefer Progresso, and sometimes Campbell's. When I'm making Progresso, I like to leave it boiling for a couple of minutes longer than I probably should. It makes a lot of the broth evaporate, but it gives it a thicker consistency. Probably thicker than you'd like, Czech. I don't mind if the soup I get from Chinese restaurants is just chicken-flavored water, but the canned stuff? Yeah, I need just a little more.

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It is kinda depressing that Christmas has turned into "DO YOUR PART TO STIMULATE THE ECONOMY! SPEND! SPEND!"

 

The president wants us all to buy a new flat panel TV. Think about the boys in Iraq, dammit.

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Guest Israeli Mixed Wrestling

This reminds me of when Rudo didn't like threads, so he'd talk about soup. But I like this thread!

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They've been playing it at the Wal-Mart I work at since about then too.

 

I don't understand why, seriously. I've never, ever, heard anyone say "I'm so glad they're playing Christmas music this early!", but I have heard a great many people bitch about it. I think the only purpose it serves is pissing off employees who have to listen to it for 2 straight months.

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It is kinda depressing that Christmas has turned into "DO YOUR PART TO STIMULATE THE ECONOMY! SPEND! SPEND!"

 

Instead of just "SPEND! SPEND! SPEND! SPEND!"?

 

Don't fool yourself.

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