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Best. Flame. Ever.


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Guest alfdogg
Posted

I can't think of one right off the top of my head that stands out from the rest of them.

 

But I'm interested in what you think.

Guest AlwaysPissedOff
Posted

The best one I ever saw was in the Current Events forum. One guy(fkteale, I think) just completely humiliated Frank Zappa Mask. I swear, it was the most brutal thing I'd ever read on here.

 

Also, my disses to that troll in TV/Movies were good too in my opinion... ;)

Guest alfdogg
Posted
your mom?

Hey, fuck you dude!

 

I'll have to go to the Anglesault thread and whoop your ass now :)

Guest AlwaysPissedOff
Posted

Prince, that was pure GOLD. Now I have Gatorade all over my keyboard and myself...

Guest alfdogg
Posted
The best one I ever saw was in the Current Events forum. One guy(fkteale, I think) just completely humiliated Frank Zappa Mask. I swear, it was the most brutal thing I'd ever read on here.

 

Also, my disses to that troll in TV/Movies were good too in my opinion... ;)

You know exactly where they are? I want to go read them.

Guest AlwaysPissedOff
Posted

"Anime" thread and the "Best TV Commercials" thread.

 

I can't help you with the Current Events one because I forgot what thread that one was in a long time ago.

Guest alfdogg
Posted

Yep, that's it. THAT is the best flame ever.

Guest alfdogg
Posted

I couldn't find the Best of TV Commercials thread.

Guest Human Fly
Posted

Frank Zappa Mask should've just stopped posting in that topic, or admitted defeat. That was brutal.

Guest BigTim2002
Posted

Oh man, that one made me piss my pants...

 

Keep the flames coming. I want entertainment!

 

FLAMING=RATINGZ~!

Guest Flyboy
Posted
Frank Zappa Mask should've just stopped posting in that topic, or admitted defeat. That was brutal.

Agreed.

Guest J*ingus
Posted

FK Teale is actually a friend of mine, whom i've met in person and have shaken his hand. And no, I haven't washed that hand since. (Of course, I don't wash much anyway, but oh well.) I've got a couple of his other flames saved if anyone's interested.

Guest AlwaysPissedOff
Posted

KingofOldSchool, you rock, bro. Thanks for finding that tread.

Guest J*ingus
Posted

For all you newly converted FK Teale fans, here's a couple of his earlier verbal ass-rapings. (Backstory: a couple of idiots had been posting under other people's names at our message board, and these was Teale/Mastermind's rebuttals.)

 

 

Part 1:

 

Could you take some of those dicks out of your mouth and try again? Because right now all that's coming out is vowel sounds and we're concerned you're not getting enough air.

 

Aside from any asphyxiation hazards, there are other risks. For example, being drunk on manglue round the clock reduces your ability to operate heavy machinery and to sign your own name to message board posts by a solid 66 percent. And I'm pretty sure that a four football team per day cocksmoking habit will cause tremendous wear on the knees as well. Tongue cramps I couldn't speak to, but I suppose that years of having pork lances joust with your uvula toughens a man in certain ways.

 

What really concerns me is how all the sticky cocksolder seems to have backed up into your brain and calcified, causing you to believe that anyone here gives a lonely shit about you, your partner in tomfaggery, the limpwristed vendetta the two of you have against Ken, or your gashplastering embarrassment of an "entertainment" website. Disney flicks and Britney Spears? Sorry, too eXtreme for me.

 

You and Bammann don't work here anymore. The rest of us blinked once and moved on, and I suggest you do the same. Shut that gaping cumdumpster of a mouth, collect a little dignity, and get the fuck off this board.

 

 

Part 2:

"Verbal ass raping"? Uh. I told you to go away. I'm still telling you to go away. But, stubborn trainable that you are, you've ignored my advice and gone right back to jerking off into your own eye. Now not only do I have to clean up the collateral damage your palm bomb on Nagacocki caused, I have to try to cheer up everyone who has splash burns from witnessing your misadventure in hand to gland combat.

 

Because that's my job here, you see. Entertaining the troops. Every time you post one of these masturbatory horrors, I have to soothe our collective embarrassment by using it as fodder for the board's amusement. And believe me, we are embarrassed, not only by your recent posts, but by the fact that you were ever associated with this website. To wit: BBP? In which a matressfucking catastrophe of a lonely fat man tries to con the rest of us into accepting his self-image of a hard-drinking, hard-living, beating-the-bitches-off-with-a-stick man's man - and fails, spectacularly. Also, your column? Also, posting as other people in support of said column? If ass raping was on my mind, as it so often is, rest assured I'd save it for someone who had a little pride to lose.

 

But I'm not just here for entertainment. I also serve as personal secretary to Mr. Matthews, dealing with the correspondance he deems beneath his notice. (And no, to beat you to the big gay punch, he didn't hire me for my typing skills. While we're at it: yes, my mother drinks cum, WAY TO BREAK SOME VIRGIN COMEDY GROUND THERE, you utterly ineffectual wellspring of unfunny). While you're busy pretending your angelfire abortion has fans, Ken's off running one real website and putting together another, leaving me here at the office to sort your white-substance-drenched letters into the manthrax pile so they won't contaminate any worthwhile posts with your virulent strain of lonelypox.

 

A thankless job, you say? Sure, but it has its perks. My hours are flexible. I can dress casually. And most important, it's a real-world learning experience: after watching Darren Parker make believe to himself for months on end that someone admires him or his writing, I can confidently say that I've seen the most pitiful sight life has to offer. And I've seen Crap the Monkey, so.

 

Eagerly awaiting your next blistering simile. Or some more devilishly clever appellations along the line of "dipshit" and "jackass." Also, an explanation of how I'm "a lame-ass wannabe." Because, you know, the irony.

Guest alfdogg
Posted

He needs to come back so he can help us with some of the idiots that come on this board. That was great.

Guest zacalex919130
Posted
Also, my disses to that troll in TV/Movies were good too in my opinion

Are you referring to me? Because if you are, then you're a stupid little cock sucker with a gay name and a stupid avatar. And for the last fucking time, there are no such things as trolls. You can't make any good disses. Your armpits are so hairy, it looks like you've got Don King in a headlock. I won't get banned in this forum because it's the flaming forum. The only way I'd get banned is if I said something racist or religious.

Guest The Superstar
Posted

Anything AS said (and is currently saying) to Treble Cleft is pure gold

Guest zacalex919130
Posted

By the way AlwaysPissedOff, I am mature. The reason is that only mature people sware. You don't even know what my life is like, so you have no proof that I am not mature. Here's a diss for you. You're so fat, you wore a red shirt and everyone said "Hey it's Kool-Aid".

Guest Incandenza
Posted
The reason is that only mature people sware.

 

They swear, too.

Guest AlwaysPissedOff
Posted

Wow... In Living Color jokes from 93... how could I EVER compete against that?

 

And you seemed to have mixed up maturity with immaturity, kiddo. Adults don't spaz out like mental ward patients just because someone doesn't have the same opinion as they do.

 

And then there's this lil gem:

Are you referring to me? Because if you are, then you're a stupid little cock sucker with a gay name and a stupid avatar. And for the last fucking time, there are no such things as trolls. You can't make any good disses. Your armpits are so hairy, it looks like you've got Don King in a headlock.

You make this WAYYYYY too easy at times...

Guest zacalex919130
Posted

I am a teenager, not a kid you idiot. Disses were made in the year 2000. They aren't that old. So shut up you bitch.

Guest Incandenza
Posted
Disses were made in the year 2000.

 

Yes, it wasn't until the advent of the 21st century that people developed the ability to insult each other.

Guest zacalex919130
Posted

Disses are different from insults Disses are yo mama jokes and you're so fat, poor,etc jokes. Insults are making fun of people. Insults were made before disses.

Guest Incandenza
Posted
Disses are different from insults Disses are yo mama jokes and you're so fat, poor,etc jokes. Insults are making fun of people. Insults were made before disses.

 

Your ability to argue semantics shows you are indeed wise beyond your years. Bravo!

Guest Big McLargeHuge
Posted
Disses are different from insults Disses are yo mama jokes and you're so fat, poor,etc jokes. Insults are making fun of people. Insults were made before disses.

Holy shit! You are either incredibly naive or just plain stupid.

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