Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory introduces us to another edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN. Showing that they're not above the holiday spirit our production department frames the introductory video in a Holiday themed border, complete with the star of david, little Christmas trees, Kwanza symbols, and writings from the Koran. Once our super PC video is finished we see the logo, Immediately our view dissolves into the arena where Cole and Coach, outfitted in festive red and green polo shirts, and ridiculously ugly candy cane patterned name tags welcome us to HeldDOWN from behind and announce table that's decorated by a wealth of Christmas lights, and highlighted by a menorah and a statue of Buddah! COLE Happy holidays everybody! And welcome to the highest rated program on cable television, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH Highest rated program? Keep telling yourself that one day and maybe it will be true. COLE Well, folks, the action in the OAOAST doesn't even stop for the Holiday season because what a wonderful program we have for you tonight! The South Central Militia will be in action against Gunslingers, Krista Isadora Duncan will be battling Lucius Soul, Faqu will be competing, and Felix Sturtter will be defending his newly won international world title. COACH And who knows what other segments people will turn in three days late! "LIGHTNING CREW!" The crowd stands up and begins booing almost immediately as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" begins playing. As the new Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron, featuring images of Stephen Joseph Popick replacing those of Tha Puerto Rican, smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and a HUGE burst of pyro hits the entrance, replacing the lightning bolt that hit the entrance for four years. Then, "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke walks out the entire Lightning Crew. Led by Stephen Joseph Popick, wearing a suit and tie and holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. He puts his left arm over the shoulders of the OAOAST Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, who is wearing hoop earrings, a Santa hat, a short red dress with white trim, long black gloves, gold bracelets, a gold necklace, and black heel boots. Lindsay has the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder. The crowd hoots and hollers at Lindsay. Lindsay just sneers at the crowd. COACH Ho! Ho! Ho! COLE Ho is right! COACH Quiet you! Following Popick and Lindsay are Vitamin X and Princess Stacey, both dressed to the nines, with Princess Stacey also wearing a Santa hat, along with diamond earrings, a necklace with her name on it, a red tanktop, bracelets, tight blue jeans with a studded belt, and black heels. Behind them are Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua, neither one into the spirit of Christmas, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, who is wearing a Santa hat himself, and bringing up the rear is Spanish Fly, who is wearing a white Lightning Crew T-shirt over his ring gear, but no Santa hat. The nine members of The Lightning Crew walk down the entrance ramp as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. *But will find their place in line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz cuz, it's just a matter of time Cuz you've got...NO CHANCE! (You've got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND THE LIGHTNINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! COLE I see Popick, Lindsay, Wall, Boricua, Princess Stacey, Vitamin X, Bone Thug, Thomas, and Spanish Fly. But I don't see The Mad Cappa! COACH Popick's gonna straighten things out right now I believe. COLE Well, in case you missed last week's HeldDOWN~!, shame on you, because you missed another classic encounter between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa which ended, believe it or not, with The Mad Cappa HELPING Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He wasn't so much helping him as he was being selfish and going against Popick's orders. COLE Well, you may be right about that, but one thing you can't deny: instead of crushing Tha Puerto Rican's larynx, The Mad Cappa used that ring bell to hit Popick over the head. Then he ran away from a charging Lightning Crew. COACH Is this the same Mad Cappa who beat up The Lightning Crew on a regular basis for years? What happened last week? COLE Well, The Mad Cappa knew he was outnumbered, so rather than take the risk, he decided to save himself so that he could live to fight another day! COACH The Lightning Crew didn't get him last week, but he'll get his sooner rather than later! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall taunt the fans, and then climb up the ring steps along with the rest of The Lightning Crew. Lindsay holds the ring ropes, and Stephen Popick enters the ring. Popick then watches as Lindsay enters the ring seductively, allowing the camera to get an upskirt shot in the process. COACH Give that cameraman a raise just for that shot! Bless you kind sir! The rest of The Lightning Crew enters the ring. They all stand in the center of the ring while spotlights shine on them. The LC members all look at each other...and then do The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos. The lights then go back on in the arena as The LC taunt the fans and mug for the camera. Popick calls for a microphone. COLE After last week's events, it looks like we have someone else gunning for The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick in The Mad Cappa. Colombian Heat, Tha Puerto Rican, and The Mad Cappa have issues with The Lightning Crew, which can't sit well with Popick. COACH Heat's a loser, Tha Puerto Rican's a loser, and The Mad Cappa could have been something, but he turned his back on Popick, so now he's a loser too! COLE He's got some dignity, and quite possibly the fans' respect again, though. COACH Meh. Popick grabs a microphone from a ringside attendant, telling the ringside attendant, "Thank you." after receiving the mic. Popick paces back and forth as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Popick's got the microphone! COACH The Champ is about to speak! Stephen Joseph Popick looks at the crowd and puts the microphone to his lips. He adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I guess after last week, I need to make a few things clear. Number one: Don't you ever... Don't you EVER defy my orders, or you will pay the consequences! Mad Cappa-- "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" POPICK You dare defy my orders, and you WILL pay for it! Mad Cappa, as of last Thursday, you are OUT of The Lightning Crew! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Glad to see we got that cleared up. The Mad Cappa now holds the record for the shortest time in The Lightning Crew. COACH He was never Lightning Crew material anyway. POPICK Now, while you suffer the indignity of being kicked out of the greatest group of wrestlers the world has ever seen, I want you to remember that everything that happens to you from now on is your own damn fault. You brought all of this onto yourself with your actions last week! Instead of finishing the job I started. Instead of doing the deed that was four years in the making. Instead of getting rid of Tha Puerto Rican once and for all-- "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" Popick sneers at the crowd. POPICK Instead of doing what I KNOW you've always wanted to do...you grew a heart. You developed a conscience. You decided at the last second 'No, I will not be a man! No, I will not finish what Popick started. No, I will be a wuss, I will be a pussy and NOT crush PRL's larynx! I will NOT give PRL exactly what he deserves! No, I will defy the orders of my boss, and I will instead SAVE the man who ALMOST ENDED MY CAREER!' What happened Mad Cappa? I always thought you were full of SO much potential. But after last week, I guess I was wrong. I guess I was wrong just like I was wrong about Tha Puerto Rican. I have not been so good lately when it comes to spotting people's potential. Lightning Crew, do you all have the potential I think you have? The Lightning Crew members all shake their heads "Yes." Cuban Wall says, "Yes, boss!" Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick smiles at her husband. COLE They're all a bunch of freeloaders. COACH Be glad they can't hear you, Cole. Be very glad. POPICK I sure hope so. I sure hope so. Now, people have alot of questions: 'Are Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa friends now?' 'Are they allies?' Look, I don't care what the relationship between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa is. I really don't. In fact, if I had my way, I would never have to worry about either one of those jackasses ever again! But you see, life is not fair, and as a result, I HAVE to worry about the two of them, because apparently, they BOTH want a shot at MY World's Heavyweight Title! They BOTH want a piece of Popick! Now, normally, I would just deny the two of them a Title shot and move on. But seeing as this is the holiday season, I am in a giving mood. And besides, Stephen Joseph Popick doesn't get mad. Popick has a twisted, psychotic look on his face as he says the next sentence. POPICK (growling) Stephen Joseph Popick gets EVEN. COLE Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that. COACH Just listen, Michael! SJP Tha Puerto Rican, you've been bugging me for a Title shot ever since I won this belt. You've been hounding me all over the country for almost a month now, wanting to fight me, wanting to take my belt away from me. Well, you won't have to hound me any longer. I'm not going to hold off on it anymore. It was inevitable. It was going to happen sooner or later. PR, you want a shot at my belt? YOU GOT IT! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Lightning Crew is stunned by this announcement. COLE How about that? PRL's got another shot at the Title! COACH Oh great. PRL's gonna have another opportunity to BLOW his big chance! Wonderful. NOT! Popick continues. SJP And Mad Cappa, you've always complained about the fact that you've never gotten a shot at the World Heavyweight Title. You've been in the OAOAST for close to five years now with no World Title matches to your credit! Absolutely none. And that legitimately surprises me. Someone of your caliber should have had PLENTY of World Title matches by now! Well, the wait is over, because guess what? YOU got a shot too! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Mad Cappa's got a shot at the belt too! COACH Wait, where's Popick going with this? COLE I wonder this myself. The Lightning Crew members are surprised again by this announcement. Vitamin X asks Popick what is he thinking. But Stephen Joseph tells The X-Man to relax and that he knows what he's doing. POPICK I got everything under control. Now, I'm sure you are all wondering, 'Wait, how can PRL and Cappa BOTH have a shot at the Title?' 'What does this mean? What does this all mean?' It means, my friends, that on January 3rd on the OAOAST New Year's Spectacular, I, Stephen Joseph Popick, will defend the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship against Tha Puerto Rican AND against The Mad Cappa in a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! COLE Oh my! What an announcement! A Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Title on the New Year's Spectacular January 3rd! COACH Popick, what are you doing!? PR and Cappa AT THE SAME TIME!? The Lightning Crew also voice their concern over this announcement. POPICK Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm ready. I'm willing. I'll GLADLY defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title against two men at the same time! Last month at November Reign, I defended my belt against FIVE MEN at the same time inside a Triple Decker Cage. I went through HELL in that one match, but guess what? I SURVIVED! So, defending the belt against two men who hate my guts seems like a cakewalk compared to that! COACH Popick's got a point. COLE Yeah. He's not doing another Triple Decker Cage Match for a long time, I think. POPICK So, Cappa, PRL, I hope you enjoy the holidays, because once we hit 2008, your happiness will end. The year 2008 will start off ROTTEN for the both of you, I GUARANTEE it! COACH A guarantee? Oh, Popick's DEFINITLEY going to win the match! He's gotta if he guarantees victory! COLE That guarantee might come back to bite him in the ass if he's not careful come January 3rd! POPICK (CONT'D) And P.R., even though I'm sure you're upset knowing that you're going to be spending Christmas AND New Year's Eve by yourself for the first time in your life. Even though I'm sure you're throwing furniture around knowing that The Lightning Crew, Lindsay, and myself will all be in my billion dollar home in Atlanta opening up presents, drinking egg nog, singing Christmas carols, and generally enjoying each other's company, then a week later, we will all drink champagne and say goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008 together, as a family. Even though you're probably suicidal knowing that while Lindsay and I give each other's gifts, kiss each other on midnight on New Year's Eve, and continue making love. Popick puts his left arm around Lindsay's shoulders again. Lindsay sighs lovingly at Popick. POPICK I love you, boo. Even though you're probably trying to kill yourself as I speak since you know that I've taken your friends, I've taken your girl and made her my wife, I've got what you most treasure in the entire world and all you've got left is a pot smoking, brain dead, slacker for a companion. I want you to take comfort in the fact that once 2008 comes, things could be different. There's hope. There's a chance to turn things around. Because on the New Year's Spectacular, you have a chance to finally become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in your life. The first time ever. That moment might happen in only two weeks. So don't lose hope, buddy! Don't give up just yet! There IS a light at the end of the tunnel afterall! AH, WHO AM I KIDDING!? You're just going to choke again! Still, false hope never hurt anybody TOO much! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! The crowd boos loudly. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" Popick smiles evilly. POPICK Oh, oh, oh! And one more thing. You people are going to see PRL in action tonight. The crowd cheers loudly. POPICK Yeah. You see, I want to prepare PRL for the Triple Threat Match at New Year's Spectacular. So, the so-called 'People's Champ' will be competing in a tag team match. His opponents will be the combination of the 6'7" 285 pound Muscle of The Lightning Crew, CUBAN WALL! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cuban Wall smirks and cracks his knuckles. POPICK AND...my bodyguard, the 6'9" 300 pound MONSTER, MISTER BORICUA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mr. Boricua screams at the camera. COACH Great idea, Popick! POPICK And Tha Puerto Rican's partner will be someone he knows really well. An old 'friend' of his. Or should that be...an old rival. PRL's partner tonight will be my OTHER opponent on the New Year's Spectacular January 3rd...THE MAD CAPPA! COLE Whoa! The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican AS A TEAM!? TONIGHT!? COACH Brilliant! They're not going to be able to coexist! This will be an easy victory for Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall! Not that it wasn't already, but it's even more so now! COLE How will those two be able to stand in the same ring without wanting to hit each other I don't know! The crowd is shocked by this announcement. POPICK So, that's all I got to say. For now, at least. Think of tonight's main event as my way of saying Merry Christmas to PRL AND The Mad Cappa! Because I'm damn sure not going to be sending them anything for Christmas this year! And as for the rest of you...MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "Stronger" by Kanye West begins playing. Popick blows kisses to the fans, who respond by flipping him several thousand middle fingers. The Lightning Crew leave the ring with Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick holding the ropes for Popick again. COLE What a series of shocking announcements we've just heard! Stephen Joseph will defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title against Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa in a Triple Threat Match on the New Year's Spectacular on January 3rd, but before that, Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa must TEAM UP tonight to take on Mr. Boricua AND Cuban Wall! COACH While I'm still confused as to why Popick would WILLINGLY give PRL and Cappa Title shots, I do have to commend him for setting up this tag team match tonight. No way will PRL and Cappa team up! They're going to be bickering the entire match! They HATE each other! They absolutely HATE each other! COLE No argument here, which should make the main event very interesting! How well will PR and Cappa get along tonight? COACH Not well at all, I think! Popick and The LC walk up the entrance ramp, with Popick once again having his left arm over Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick's shoulders and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. Popick and Lindsay look lovingly into each other's eyes as "Stronger" continues playing. COLE A blockbuster main event coming up later on tonight! Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa, one week removed from their memorable encounter in San Francisco, team up to take on charter Lightning Crew members Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! That's tonight on HeldDOWN~! live from Fresno, California! More HeldDOWN~! right after these messages! Stay tuned! The Lightning Crew continue walking up the entrance ramp as "Stronger" by Kanye West continues playing. The crowd boos loudly. Popick laughs manically. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. FADE TO BLACK * COMMERCIAL BREAK* Edited December 22, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where the members of The Lightning Crew are all sitting around. Stephen Joseph Popick goes to pour himself a drink, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on the big leather sofa in the room. VITAMIN X Boss, far be it from me to question your wisdom but...are you CRAZY!? Taking on Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa at the same time in the same match!? Surely, you must be joking! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Oh, X, so smart, and yet so naive. Clearly, you haven't clue in yet to the reason I have decided to defend my Title against Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa in the same match. VITAMIN X ...Which is? Popick pours vodka into a glass. POPICK It is called 'Divide and Conquer'. A well known military stragety, I have taken to using this stragety in the battleground that is the professional wrestling ring. You see, it is a well known fact that PR and The Mad Cappa absolutely DESPISE each other. Their hatred knows no bounds, and has led to many a memorable encounter, like last week for example. You see, I figure that their hatred for each other is even more passionate, more intense, then their hunger for the World Heavyweight Title. The way I see it, I am killing two birds with one stone by pitting them in a match with me at the same time. Their anger, their rage, their HATRED for each other will cause them to beat on each other, allowing me to swoop in for the kill and pin one of them 1-2-3 to successfully retain MY Title! That, Lightning Crew, is why it is called 'Divide and Conquer'. CUBAN WALL So by pitting them together, you can do only half the work. They'll destroy each other and you'll take advantage of it! POPICK Correctamundo, Wall! You catch on pretty quick! VITAMIN X Boss...that is GENIUS! That is absolutely BRILLIANT! Only you could have come up with it! Killing two birds with one stone. Get them fighting so that you can walk away unharmed! That is great! You are going to retain your belt on the New Year's Spectacular! I just know it! BOO-YAH~! Popick takes a sip of the vodka. POPICK Yes. That is of course the plan. The 'Master Plan' if you will. To retain the Title and move on to more DESERVING challengers to my belt. But before we get to that show, we have the main event of TONIGHT to look forward to. PRL and The Mad Cappa have to team up. Can they even team up? CUBAN WALL No. VITAMIN X No sir! SPANISH FLY Nope. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Uh-uh. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK No. PRINCESS STACEY No. THE BONE THUG ... MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRR. POPICK Yeah, I don't think so either. Which is why I am going to enjoy watching Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua DESTROY those two jabronies later on tonight. CUBAN WALL Boss, don't worry. Boricua and I have got everything under control. Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa will be mince meat by the time the night is through. MR. BORICUA YEAAHHHHHHHHHH! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! POPICK Excellent. That is what I like to hear. But hey, save some for me! I don't want my match on the New Year's Spectacular to be TOO easy! I'd like a little bit of a challenge! Not too much, but a little! WALL Don't worry, boss. I'll make sure we save some of PRL and Cappa just for you. Consider tonight's match an early Christmas present to you from us here in The Lightning Crew! POPICK I'll drink to that! Popick takes another swig of his vodka. He smiles evilly, as does the rest of The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Wow that was a great segment/match/interview/commercial. Right now, let's turn things over to the cutest interviewer on television Maggie Nerdly! Margret? Maggie Nerdly is backstage with Felix Strutter. MAGGIE Thanks, Michael! I'm here with the International World champion, "After Hours" Felix Strutter! Felix, tonight, Denzel Spencer, the man you pinned two weeks ago, will get a shot right here tonight at your title. Your thoughts? STRUTTER Forget about that right now. Let me tell you what I want a shot at... Strutter whispers something in Maggie's ear, and Maggie responds with a gasp, then SLAPS Felix right across the face! Felix backs off holding the side of his face, then looks at his hand and walks away with a smile, as Maggie stares at him with a look of anger and disgust. COLE DAY-UM~! COACH Hey, that's my line! And what right does she have as a journalist to be putting her hands on the wrestlers? COLE Leon doesn't seem to have a problem with it. COACH You know what I meant. COLE But he may have a problem with whatever Felix said, and who knows what that could have been. Folks, we'll see Felix putting his belt on the line against Denzel Spencer later tonight, but for now its time for one of the hottest tag team acts in the OAOAST to face off against one of the meanest. Dark blue lights flash across the entry way, as the stage fills with smoke. Through the haze steps the SCM, Vincent letting out a primal roar, while One Eye flashes gang signs as Tupac's "Dopefiend's Diner" plays. They make their way to the ring, talking trash to the jeering crowd. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 460 pounds, from South Central Los Angeles and former tag team champions of the world... THE SOUTH. CENTRAL. MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The South Central Militia, one of sixteen teams participating in the 2008 Anderson Cup that will begin on January 3rd at the New Year's Spectacular. OAOAST officials currently finalizing the brackets, which will be released next week on HeldDOWN~! Before they can start thinking about the Anderson Cup, they'll first need to get by their opponents tonight, as we toss it back to Michael Buffer. "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy hits and the fans come out of their seats in excitement. BUFFER Their opponents, accompanied by everybody's favorite gal pal MELODY NERDLY...from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, Baron Windels and the "Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lots of hand slapping follows, as the Gunslingers play to the audience. COLE Melody Nerdly leading perhaps the next tag team champions to the ring, Coach. COACH Yeah, perhaps. But standing by right now, the One & Only World tag team champions, the Heavenly Rockers. * SWOOSH * Wide shot, small box at left hand corner. Heavenly Rockers in front of their CG backdrop with Holly and Colonel Abdullah. HOLLY As fall becomes winter, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time plan on turning up the heat. Ain't that right, baby? LOGAN Congratulations are in order sayeth Logan Usher Mann. At the New Year's Spectacular the Heavenly Rockers will defend their One & Only World tag team championship against Little Red Riding Hood's big, bad wolves, the Lone Star Gunslingers. But it'll be second verse, same as the first, Gunslingers. Victory will be ours! SYNTH Now put that in yo pipe and smoke it! The brief piece of video ends with Synth while the Colonel gives praise. * SWOOSH * COLE Very confident are the Heavenly Rockers. COACH As they should be. If they don't own, they're leasing the Lone Star Gunslingers. Referee Nick Patrick orders a member of each team on the apron, and those men are Moe and Jock. Whereas the SCM trade gang signs, the Gunslingers stick with the traditional double high-five. * DINGDINGDING * Backed against the ropes after placing Moe in a side headlock Baron is shot across the ring, but One-Eye makes the all too common heel mistake of setting too soon, enabling the Gunslinger to pop him straight up with a hard kick to the shoulder. Windels plants his feet and drills Wallace with a standing dropkick. Irish whip, and a big-time FLYING LARIAT to follow! ONE... TWO... Wallace kicks out and retreats to the safety of his corner, and makes the tag to Vincent Santana who calls out Jock Mulligan. COLE You know the Texas Twister won't back down from a challenge. The crowd pops as Jock accepts the tag. After circling the ring to measure their opponent up, the two lock horns and Jock comes out on top with an arm-wringer. Mulligan uses a series of closed fists and bonic elbows to punish the right arm of Santana. Vinnny maneuvers the second year man into the corner and stuns him with a back elbow to the side of the head. Santana sells the damage to the arm before working Jock over in the corner with a combination of jabs and uppercuts. Mulligan fires back with kicks to the midsection and bionic elbows, only to have Vinny RAKE THE EYES. Irish whip, but Jock ducks a clothesline and shoots back on the rebound with a CROSSBODY BLOCK...but Vincent crotches down as Jock soars through the air, causing the Texas Twister to feel like he's just been in one as he lands hard on the canvas and rolls out of the ring from the impact! COACH Jock's in a bad place, Cole. The SCM not afraid to bend the rules every so often. COLE More like any chance they get. Like right now. As the referee focusing his attention on keeping Vincent inside, outside Moe slams Jock on the arena floor. Baron rushes to his partner's aid, chasing Wallace away…but that grabs the eye of Nick Patrick and leaves the SCM with another opportunity to take advantage of the youngster, whipping him into the ring steps! COLE How many times do I need to say it? We need more than one referee for matches such as this! Before the SCM can inflict anymore damage, the referee turns around and orders Vinny inside. The SCM coolly toss Jock back into the ring, but not before sneaking in a pair of knees to the ribs! COACH Ha! Beautiful. Quick tag by the S-C-M. They're putting the 5-second rule to good use as they Irish whip Jock. Oh, baby! STEREO DIVING SHOULDERBLOCKS! COLE What force! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Moe rams Jock face-first into the turnbuckle, then tags out. Vinny SLAPS Baron to sucker him inside, allowing him and Moe to pummel Jock in the corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Santana continues to antagonize Baron as One-Eye CHOKES Jock with the TAG ROPE! COLE Moe's strangling the life out of Jock Mulligan. Somebody needs to put a stop to this! Baron steps in and is confronted by Nick Patrick, who he desperately pleads to turn around. Going nowhere with his efforts Baron finally has enough and brushes the ref aside. The crowd roars as Windels beats the hell out of the SCM, then HIP TOSSES HIS PARTNER TOWARDS THEIR CORNER FOR THE TAG! "YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" MELODY (firing imaginary pistols) Hee-yaw! One can't deny the toughness of the SCM as they both charge Baron, who quickly shows them why he's called a Gunslinger, coming strong at Moe and Vinny with Texas size right hands and scoop slams. Moe rolls out to the arena floor while Vinny takes a seat on Baron's knee from an inverted atomic drop. Windels whips Santana, the legal man, to the ropes for a BAAAAAACK bodydrop. Now up top Baron connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! Moe pulls Baron halfway out of the ring before being spun around and decked by a Jock Mulligan DISCUS PUNCH! Meanwhile, inside, Baron sits Vinny on the top turnbuckle and delivers his patent SUPERPLEX!!! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners... THE LONE GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The guys celebrate with Melody as Coach narrates the replay. COACH ...for the 1-2-3. Now let's go to Michael Cole ringside with Melody Nerdly and the Lone Star Gunslingers. Melody wipes the sweat off Jock and Baron's bodies and flicks it at Michael Cole just for the fun of it. Obviously thrilled with the W is she. COLE Thanks very much, Coach. And gentlemen, mighty impressive win just now. I'd say a good test heading into your big title match with the Heavenly Rockers at the New Year's Spectacular. JOCK We're as battle tested as they come, Michael Cole. The Heavenly Rockers thought they could bully us around, but we showed them and everyone watching that when you knock the Lone Star Gunslingers off their saddles we dust ourselves and get back on. Tell 'em B. BARON 14 days, Heavenly Rockers. 14 days until the Lone Star Gunslingers achieve their goal of becoming World tag team champions. We've waited months for this opportunity and for it to come against the Heavenly Rockers makes it all that much sweeter. Synth, Logan, you're in for one helluva an ass kickin' at the New Year's Spectacular. MELODY Yeah! With that, the Gunslingers and Melody exit. New Year's Spectacular ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH The Lone Star Gunslingers challenge the Heavenly Rockers THURSDAY NIGHT, JANUARY 3rd, LIVE ONLY ON TSM! COMMERCIAL Edited December 22, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) We're transported to the backstage interview area, where Terry Taylor clad in a Santa hat, leather bomber jacket, and tight blue jeans stands with Krista Isadora Duncan. Miss California, has outfitted herself in heavily flared jeans, and a blue and white stripped dress shirt with the top five buttons left undone. TERRY TAYLOR Terry Taylor, backstage with Krista Isadora Duncan! KRISTA Terry Taylor, blessed with the golden opportunity to stand beside a goodness who radiates the unmatched qualities of kindness, beauty, love, benevolence, and most of all virtuous Christian sobriety. TAYLOR Its going to be a long night. Well, Krista, my old friend, you've got a singles match coming up against Lucius Soul of The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew. Now just to inform you because I know you try your hardest to watch as little OAOAST television as possible, The Wrecking Crew have found themselves in the middle of a dry spell lately, piling up loss after loss. And, they blame it on you! What do you think about that? KRISTA Hey,take a ride on the fantastic voyage Sodom and Gonorrhea, who the hell cares about The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, I've got bigger things to do, hopefully one of which is Ashley Tisdale of High School Musical fame. She is over eighteen, right? TAYLOR Lord I hope so! KRISTA Lord, I'm gonna pretend he said yes! Look, Terry, screw the Mardi Gras Homewrecking with the 1985 LA Kings. Cameras don't lie, unless these cameras show me digging up my dead grandmother's corpse, to get that pink sapphire necklace she should've left me in the will in the first place. I don't know why the old sea hag had to be buried with it, Satan's just gonna make her take off to mass produce Toby Keith albums anyway. Point is, cameras and stats don't lie. And the cameras tell us The Wrecking Crew haven't been seen on HeldDOWN but once in the past two months, and the stats tell us they haven't won a match since looooong before Jamie Lynn Spears became a dirty, dirty, whore. Care to drop the knowledge as to why that is, special edition of Outside The Lines? TAYLOR My guess is it has something do with her sister's struggles to maintain a sane and respectable lifestyle. I mean, it can be so hard as an impressionable youth... KRISTA Keep your wignorance, to a minimum, wignoramus, I'm not talking about Jamie Lynn, I'm talking about why The Wrecking Crew have been getting treated like life treats you, horribly. The A to that Q is that the Mardi Gras Homewrecking are the very definition of garbage, translate esponal, basura. They could snort lines with their dick, and they still couldn't come dope. I swear, they got down syndrome so bad, they probably got up, left, and right syndrome to. Worse yet, those dudes are so ugly the zoo put a picture of them in the monkey cage to keep the monkeys, aka the Moneymaker family, from jerking off. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking crew are full on flaming bags of dog crap left on the old man's porch from Billy Madison. I oughta make you take off that bug trap you call a jacket, put on an apron, shake hands with Mister Clean, head over to that locker room and mop up that filth for me, because unlike my ex-girlfriend I don't deal with gutter trash. TAYLOR A shot at Mackenzie no doubt! Speaking of Alix, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew said they were quite delighted to see you two breakup. They see it at as a big plus for the entire tag division. What do you think about this perception? KRISTA If I thought about that, Terry I'd be the craziest gal in Los Angeles! No my mother lives there, she's yet to return to her original post which is guarding the gates of hell. What about the craziest person in the cult of Scientology? No there's Katie Holmes, who's married to our fearless leader, a 3'11 yeast infection. How about the craziest woman on my neighborhood? No, Denise Richards lives on my street. Which is cool on topless sunbathing Tuesday, less cool on let's show up at Krista's house and rant for three hours about stealing Charlie Sheen's sperm Saturday. But you get my point, now prepare to get a new one. Perception is from somebody else’s eyes. I can’t get in your head and see what you see, but I wish I could, because, god damn, I bet my breasts look like twin mounds of naturally tanned heaven! So other then then my fabulous boobs why would I even care about what The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew see? Fuck what they see. They only reason I'd ever want to see out their eyes, is to get a first hand view of what it's like to have Krista Isadora Duncan stick Theodore Moneymaker's used tampon up their ass and kick them so hard it comes out their nostrils. TAYLOR Having experienced such treatment from you, I can say its no fun! None at all! KRISTA But you know what, Terry? Its the holiday season, I shouldn't speak so ill of those less fortunate then I. You know what the holiday season is for? Its for your mother reminding you of how your coming out of the closet ruined your father's aspirations for presidency, and forced her to spend the better part of the last decade kissing the ass of that butter faced whore Maria Shriver. But the holidays are also for fond remembrance, like the time you bought home that black girl and your mother realized that not only are you gay, but you're not gonna marry Jewish either. So in that spirit, Dear Terry I have a little tale for you. I'd invite kiddies to gather around, but I know you aren't allowed within thirty feet of children. So, Terry, just for you, I'm gonna lay down the low on the quickness, and offer you a tale of a battle that took place five centuries ago on this very day. This epic story is about three ancient royal figures. Because I haven't ingested enough Tequila and prescription cough syrup to think up clever names, we'll call these ancient royal figures, Queen Krystyna Isolde Duncan, fairest of all queens, without who's ceaseless beauty the sun would never dare shine on an otherwise undeserving earth, and uh.. King Rico De Janiero, and uh...what's the Arab's guys name... TAYLOR He's black! Lucius Soul is black. KRISTA Bad mother shut yo mouth! Are you sure? Stereotypically black people are supposed to be somewhat athletic, and when Soul throws a kick it has all the extension of Rush Limbaugh lifting his leg to rip a fart. But I digress. Queen Krystyna was beautiful lesbian goddess, who's existence was like a golden tapestry strewn about the universe's once dull canvas. She preached equality, and fought tirelessly to preserve peace, unity and to keep reruns of Step by Step on the air, because oh wow, Suzzane Summers is hot! King Lucius Soul was a glorified deboo who sprung on the wrong cat and got shingles from a rancid poon on one hundered twenty fifth street. He was a buster who turned a trick on a skeezer named Geroniho, who blasted diarrhea all over his throne room. King Rico De Janeiro was a bad cat, who used his subjects tax payments to trip on Crisco, while hitting up a bad bitch in the back of a Chevy Caviler, do you know what that means? TAYLOR No I don't. KRISTA That's kind of unfortunate, because to be honest, neither do I, I stole that line from Dolemite teaches phonics! Shhhh. Anyway, the three royal figures lived in harmonious peace for years, until one fateful day when Krystyna Isolde Duncan, reformed Muslim princess, praise be to Colonel Abdullah, asalaam alaykum aslama-Lucius soul's asalaama is even smaller then terry taylor's asalaama , had to step off her throne, partially because there was a sale on Kate Spade sandals at Nordstrom! See? Pretty! But mostly because, Queen Krystyna needed to raise up against the other two, who dared to draw weapons against her rule as empress of the land! The two vile kings wished to protest Krista's complete decimation of whatever ounce of self respect being best known for having the OAOAST's first two cases of pubic lice, had left them. But Queen Krista, was as defiant as she was drop dead beautiful! Though she knew violence wasn't the answer, unless of course was against Republicans, the lead singer from Coldplay, the Christians, or Linus from the Peanuts, get rid of that stupid blue blanket you Himalayan ho monkey, you're almost fifty years old, she had choice. So when ye old Rico and Lucius wanted to protest, Queen Krista, broke away from her harem of ye old Victorian Secret's supermodels, and was right there to protest their ass with thyne flask of King cobra and a fifth of Jack. Now, flash forward through the annals, I said annals, not anals, calm yourself los diablos, of time, five centuries to this very day, March 16th 1996... TAYLOR Its December 20th, 2007 Krista, don't you have a calendar? KRISTA Oh, honey, why? Whenever I run out of pills I just go see one of the little Mexican boys. Back to the story! December 20th, what you the good people of the OAOAST kingdom will see before you are the descendants of Queen Krystyna, and the other two dudes, I forgot their names already, so we'll just call them exactly what they are, little bitch and dirty ho, come together to resume the battle their royal ancestors began! And although only one can be called royalty today, with her fitness empire, four tag team championships, People magazine's sexiest woman of the year award, and the other two are only known for being on the wrong end of the infamous Florabama gangbang in the locker room last week, the war rages on! And once again its the little bitch and the dirty ho who are gonna look like they got victimized by the LAPD. For the descendants of Queen Krystyna will stick her foot so far up their Jennifer Lopez, that thunder and lighting are gonna rain down and conflagarate them three shades darker and fifty degrees stupider. TAYLOR Wow! Well, Wrecking Crew you have your work cut out for you tonight! Krista, thanks as always! Fans, for the OAOAST, this is Terry Taylor wishing you a happy holidays. We'll be back. OAOAST QuizDOWN is brought to you by...Blade Runner: 5 Disc Ultimate Edition now available on DVD Who was the third general manager in HeldDOWN history? A.Northstar B.Abe Vigoda C.Josie Baker D.Calvin Szechstein The answer coming up later in the show! COMING UP NEXT COME ON BABY AND RESCUE ME EMT Tim Cash Vs FAQU NEXT Edited December 22, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we immediately greeted by Cold War Kids' fitting song, "Hospital Beds", fitting because they have during the break played out a man used to hospital beds (for all the right reasons), EMT Tim. He stands in the ring going through his paces, while Officer Bosley stands on the apron running him the drill. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by Officer Bosley of Rescue 911. From The OAOAST First Responders Unit... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... EMT TIIIIIIIMMMMMM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH!! The happy go lucky emergency medical technician salutes the crowd. COLE EMT Tim and his colleague Officer Bosley I'm sure looking forward to the Anderson Cup which is set to kick off in a couple of weeks time. But, he's not the only one... The mood suddenly darkens as "King Kong" by LA Symphony hits. Through the entrance first struts James Blonde in his obscenely expensive, extremely unneccessary faux fur coat, paving the way for his very own Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu! The big Samoan pounds his chest and lets out a primal roar before he marches to the ring, applauding by his long time partner. BUFFER And, being led to the ring by James Blonde... from the Isle of Samoa! He weighs in at three hundred and one pounds... representing Internationally Known... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" In slides the big Samoan and already he's panting like a madman, chomping at the bit to get the match started. Bosley pats his partner on the back and drops to the floor, at which point Tim realises the predicament he's in. COACH Nevermind the Anderson Cup, EMT Tim might wanna look forward to seeing some more of his colleagues down at Fresno General. COLE Let's not get ahead of ourselves. EMT Tim is a competitor. COACH No hating, Rescue 911 are goofy as hell but they've strung some wins together in tag matches recently. But, this isn't a tag match. It's one on one against Faqu. This guy has won singles titles, he's not a tag wrestler in an unfamiliar environment, like EMT Tim. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, it's feeding time at the zoo as Faqu suddenly charges headlong at EMT Tim. The quick thinking EMT manages to duck out of the corner just in time though and Faqu runs right into the turnbuckles sternum first! Tim quickly takes him down with a schoolboy too, for a quick pin... 1... ...NO. Faqu powers out. As Faqu scrambles back up, Tim quickly grabs a headlock to try and tame the Samoan beast. That works for precisely a second before Faqu pushes him off into the ropes. EMT Tim shoots back, but stupidly tries to hit a shoulder tackle and gets knocked to the ground by the shoulder of Faqu. "OOOOHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Like running into a brick wall. COACH Except the brick wall isn't going to start running after you again before you know what hit you. Dropping down, Faqu wraps his hands around Cash's throat and chokes away! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Knowing enough to break the choke on five, Faqu stands back up and stomps Tim in the chest. And again, the lack of footwear no relief for the EMT. Backing off the ropes, Faqu then takes off into the air, coming down with everything behind a headbutt that connects to the shoulder! Blonde applauds smugly from the outside, before noticing that Faqu is looking at him and telling him to "do it again". Nodding his head, Faqu hits the ropes again and drops a second headbutt on the prone EMT. Cover... 1... 2... No! Scoop and a slam puts EMT Tim where Faqu wants him, figuring that he must need a little more behind his headbutt and climbing to the middle rope. Again the braying Blonde applauds away as Faqu stands on the middle rope and lets out another loud yell. COACH Bombs away! Up he goes and down he comes... ...this time headbutting nothing but cold, hard canvas! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Nobody home! Not the smartest of moves for Faqu to go to the middle rope perhaps. COACH You wouldn't be saying that if he connected. COLE ...yeah, but... he didn't. Faqu climbs back up and looks a little dazed as EMT Tim takes the fight to him. A series of right hands rock the Samoan back into the ropes, Tim setting him up with an irish whip and managing to get him on the run, surprisingly. Just as surprisingly, he then hits a standing dropkick and knocks Faqu down on the rebound! That's enough to get the crowd going, Bosley whipping them up from the floor as EMT Tim heads up to the top. "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" Reaching the top, Cash waits for Faqu to come a little closer and soars... ...CAUGHT! Faqu blocks the crossbody attempt by simply catching the EMT in his arms. Faqu then throws EMT Tim up onto his shoulders with similar ease, crushing him with a Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH These people better start that 911 chant up again, hope the local hospital have good hearing. 1... 2... NO! Tim kicks out, albeit with little convinction. COACH What EMT Tim would give to tag out right about now, huh? COLE Unfortunately for him though, this is not a tag team match. Which also means Faqu isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Dragging the lifeless EMT by the arm, Faqu deposits him in the corner leaving Tim's head resting up against the bottom turnbuckle. Sneakily, James Blonde walks over out of the referee's eyeline to prop him up a little better, while the ref is trying to reason with Faqu to keep the match in the middle of the ring. A glare from Faqu sends him scattering though, the bigman backing up into the opposite corner... FAQU SAMOAAAA!! *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND DRIVING HIS POSTERIOR INTO THE HEAD OF EMT TIM AT FULL SPEED!!! COLE Oh man! Did you see Tim's head snap back there? That is whiplash city right there! Some uneasy booing starts up as Faqu again drags EMT Tim around by the wrist. This time though he drags him to his feet, before knocking him right back down with another headbutt! It's at this point that, for some reason, Blonde jumps to the ring apron to try and give Faqu some more 'advise'. Realising that's against the rules of the match, Officer Bosley springs into action, running around ringside and dragging Blonde to the floor by the tail of his (faux) fur coat! Blonde is obviously annoyed at that and turn around to reminstrate... leaving him open for a Roundhouse Kick to the back of the head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COACH Hey! COLE James Blonde getting involved where he shouldn't have and he just paid the price! As Blonde crawls for safety, Faqu sees his partner going down and reaches out of the ring to pull Bosley up onto the apron. Bosley manages to break free of Faqu and shove him away, but gets distracted as he tries to tell the referee he's trying to keep the peace... ...and gets knocked off the apron with a thrust to the throat! COLE Well, this WAS supposed to be one on one. COACH It is now. With Bosley down, Faqu turns back to EMT Tim, just in time as he's gotten back to his feet. That's about all Cash is physically able to do though and he walks right into a thrust to the throat as well. Unfortunately, he doesn't go down, allowing Faqu to do more damage. Underhooking the arms, Faqu lifts EMT Tim off his feet and leaves him hanging upside down for a couple of seconds, letting the blood rush to the head... before sitting out and SPIKING EMT Tim with the DEATH BY SAMOAN!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Time of death... crap, where's my watch gone!? Faqu presses his hands across Tim's chest... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... FFFAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUU!! Keeping the hands on the chest, Faqu looks down the barrel of the camera, shouting something in Samoan which obviously I can't translate because I don't speak Samoan. But he does. Rolling back into the ring, James Blonde kneels next to Faqu and pats him on the back, with the hand he's not nursing his head with. COACH Hey, remember when Faqu was just a normal guy? That was cool. COLE A dominating victory for Faqu tonight. Will he and James Blonde be able to dominate the field in the 2008 Anderson Cup? We'll find out in the New Year! As Faqu and Blonde continue to gloat over their win, we cut away into the office of AngleSault, who has been joined in watching this match by a certain Nathaniel Black. BLACK See that? Do ya? That's what we can do, when we get the opportunity. That's a former HI-YAH Champ in action. (turns to AS) Don't get any more dominatin' than that now, does it? ANGLESAULT What did you want, Nathaniel? BLACK You know darn well wot I want. I wanna get in the ring and kick somebody's arse. I wanna go out there an' take somebody's title. I wanna go out and show all of those Yanks a little bit of real wresslin, like only the English can do. I want opportunity 'round here. ANGLESAULT Opportunity you say? BLACK Me, Blonde an' Faqu, we're Internationally Known. We've won titles world 'round. An' yet, when the big opportunities come callin', we keep gettin' overlooked. We're just another couple'a blokes takin' up roster space. We want opportunity, on the big stages. ANGLESAULT Well, that can be arranged. We've got a little thing called the Anderson Cup coming back and it's obvious your buddies are going to be involved. Black sighs under his breath and leans on AS's desk, looking him dead in the eyes. BLACK Listen... when I say 'we', I mean me an' all. I'm chuffed for 'em, I really am. But where does that leave me? ANGLESAULT So, you don't want to be left out? BLACK Yeh. ANGLESAULT Right. Well, in that case, you're in the Anderson Cup as well. You used to be in a tag team around here, right? Again Black sighs under his breath. BLACK Yeh an' you bloody well know it an' all! ANGLESAULT In that case, you need a partner. And what you also need is a lesson. A lesson in 'international relations', shall we say. See, this issue with Jamie O'Hara, it's all about differences. He talks different to you, acts differently, dresses differently... wrestles differently. You saw Faqu and Blonde out there. Opposites attract sometimes. You need to learn to realise that you can't just attack people because they don't wrestle how you like to wrestle, or act how you want them to act. So, what better way to get this issue done and dusted than to team... oh, yes, the doctors are happy to clear him for competition as soon as the New Year is rung in... so, you'll be teaming in the Anderson Cup, with Jamie O'Hara! BLACK WOT!? YOU'VE LOST YOUR BLOODY MIND, MATE! I AIN'T TEAMIN' WITH 'IM, NO WAY... ANGLESAULT Oh, and while you're still ironing out your differences, you might need some 'encouragement'. So, if you don't get along in the Anderson Cup, you'll be suspended. Again! BLACK This is... this is bollocks, this is! ANGLESAULT And it's final. Still fuming, Black turns around and storms out of the office as we fade away. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) We see The Mardi Gras Homewrecking sitting backstage playing a game of dice with Los Conquistadors, who not surprisingly are losing. Badly, but at leasT it beats getting beat up by Bohemoth. Suddenly their dice game is shattered by giant duffel bag being dropped in the middle of the field. The foursome isn't terribly disappointed by this, as the dropper of said bag is the lovely Mackenzie DeCenzo, outfitted in a splendid low cut, sequined, strapless evening gown. SOUL Cock-a-doodle do, bitch. What brings yo beautiful eye-talian ass round us niggas and spiggas? Mackenzie plainly rips open the duffel bag to reveal a large stack of cash. All four men's eyes widen with delirious lust over the money. MACKENZIE Cash. Ten thousand dollars of beautiful, wonderful, no strings attached American currency. That's what brings me around. And that's why you're very glad to see me. RICO What's dis for? Why you bring Rico and Lucius all this cash, eh? This ain't no salvation army, Rico ain't out in front the grocery store ringing no bells, holding that red bucket. You gotta explain yaself to Rico, because he's a little confused at the generosity. SOUL Rico, that ain't no way to treat no customer. Learn from a mac, so that you can be a mac. And this Mac has brought us the gift of cash on that fine Christmas season, so we gonna be givin her just what she wants, ho-ho-ho's. We know you down with that dyke shit, and we got bitches that can open they legs wider then Wilt Chamberlin's wing span. Type of freaky-deeky tricks let you all up in they bama jama dooka-rama. Black bitches, white bitches, Mexican bitches, we got all the girls you need to get dat that propah girl on girl swerve. MACKENZIE I have a girlfriend, one I love very much. But, the problem is she has an ex-girlfriend. One I hate very much. One I need to be rid of. Soon. And its come to my understanding that one of you gentlemen will be competing against her tonight. If you could make it so that she'll never be competing against anyone again, then this ten thousand dollars, plus five thousand more, would be all yours. Understand? Lucius seems delighted at this prospect, but Rico interrupts. RICO Hey, keep yer money, chica, dis mission, dis mission would be a pleasure for The Wrecking Crew. A pleasure. Mackenzie smiles and nods, before picking up her bag and walking away. Soul looks at the man who turned down such easy money, and shakes his head in confusion. COMING UP NEXT WE GOT MORE BOUNCE IN CALIFORNIA Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Lucius Soul NEXT COMMERCIAL "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The soothing tunes of Eazy Lover fill the air with anything but a soothing mood. Rather its a steady stream of annoyed groans and outright enraged boos that play right along with Phil Collins' track. Despite the chilly reception afforded them, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, play it as cool as always as they glide through the entrance doors. Rico, outfitted in orange bell bottom pants and a blue and gold Hawaiian shirt, emerges first, stroking his legendary pornstache, and gazing out to the audience to eye down the more attractive Fresno lovelies. Lucius, attired in black slacks and snake skin boots, is singularly devoted to picking his AWESOME fro. "She's an easy lover She'll take your heart but you won't feel it She's like no other And I'm just trying to make you see" As the pair struts down the ramp, De Janiero tries offers Soul some important nuggets of advice, but can't seem to distract his partner from his hair care routine. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes. Introducing first, from New Orleans, Louisiana, he is one half the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, Lucius Soul! Climbing onto the ring apron, Soul spots one delightfully phat bottomed honey in the audience, and attempts to win her affection by tossing her his fro pic. Unfortunately, she's less then flattered by this charm and throws it right back at him! Disgusted by this treatment, Soul begins spewing profanties at the entire audience. COLE Its been a bit of a downtime for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew.. COACH Bit of a downtime? That's like saying a tsunami is a light drizzle! Its been a real cold winter for these cats. Real cold. COLE Well, The Crew have set all of their misfortunes on the laps of the now defunct Chicks Over Dicks. And with Lucius Soul's singles battle against Krista, they think have an opportunity to right the many wrongs. I like them black girls I like them white girls I like them asian girls I like them mixed raced girls I like them spanish girls I like them italian girls I like the french girls And I like Scandanavian girls From the parting entrance doors a calvary of unbelievably gorgeous black, white, Asian, and mixed race, girls, march onto the stage, attired in scintillating camouflage triangle bikini tops, matching hot pants, and each holding toy rifle in their hands. The quickly roving blue, purple and pink spotlights dance along hips that gyrate in spicy seduction, and bodies that flex and bend in the most alluring ways possible. Standing in the center of this well choreographed routine, stands the always mesmerizing Krista Isadora Duncan. Several blue and white playfully decorate the hair that falls just short of a studded halter that pushes up her ample chest. Her lean muscular legs stream from a super short micro skirt into pair of ultra expensive high heels. Suddenly Krista becomes the center of theuniverse, fought by company of army clad dancers. However, she puts on a mask of arrogance, grinning with indifference as she shoves her suitors to the side, and heads down the ramp. BUFFER And the opponent, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls The boring steel of the entrance ramp, finds itself shrouded beneath pink and red glitter that glimmers beneath the roving spotlights. Similar to a fashion show runway, a throng of photographers and journalists, all bedecked in all black outfits, devote themselves to capturing the beauty of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully toss her vibrant blond hair in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path, their cameras working with the pink and purple splotlights to create a fantastic display. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan, here in her home state of California, and the ovation she's received is huge! And I bet the ovation she'll get at Anglemania in her homwtown of Los Angeles will be even louder! But in the more immediate future, the OAOAST and VH1 are happy to announce that the Look Of Love reality show will debut next week! Eight of the hottest women in the world will compete for their chance to be Krista's new girl, right here on HeldDOWN on TSM! COACH We got sixty eight people on the roster. Sixty eight! GPX ain't been seen since August, James Riggs only gets put on TV to lose, who knows where Chris Stevens is, and they're gonna give that chick her own reality show? That ain't right! Help those who need help, America! Upon entering the ring, Krista stands on the first rope and leans over the top cables, shooting a sly smirk towards her adoring homestate audience. DING DING DING The sound of the bell ringing immedaitley motivates Lucius Soul to begin his quest for redemption against old tormentor. However, Krista is more impressed by the size of his afro, then moved by a will to fight. “Wow, Lucius, that's a big fro!” Stunned by the compliment, Lucius replies “Well, you know what they say? The bigger the fro...” “The bigger the welfare check?” Krista innocently responds. And so it begins. Greatly annoyed by Krista's insulting commentary, Lucius strides towards her for an all out assault, but is quickly tangled into a lockup. That pedestrian hold doesn't last for very long before the queen of fitness snares him into a side headlock. Instantly Soul wraps his arm around her completely bare stomach, simply attempting to overpower her into a back drop. But his efforts earn him little success as the buxom blond merely tightens her grip around his neck. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA” Finally, the mac daddy is able to rid himself of her clutches, by placing his hand on her tight tush, and shoving her into the ropes. But, he's unprepared for her return, and her tanned legs bowl him over with a graceful spinning wheel kick. As the audience continues to sing her name, Krista smiles and lovingly fluffs her sun streaked hair. COACH Does she honestly think they're chanting for her because she has nice hair? COLE Don't be jealous over what you ain't got! Krista's heels skirt to the cables, which bounce her back in perfect position to lacerate Soul with a knee drop. But the ice cold pimp has the move well scouted, and rolls forward with an effort to trip KID up. But Krista didn't get two master's degrees to be outsmarted by a guy without a GED, and easily leaps over his lanky frame. The California hottie bounces off the ropes once more, but gets no chance to exert an offensive attack, as Soul knocks her down with a leaping side kick! “BOOOOOOO!” Apparently Soul's been watching some Josephine Baker, because he honestly celebrates his minuscule show of might by doing the Charleston. That's right, this man doin the Charleston. Krista is as every bit as bemused as the audience, and asks “Hey, count chocula, what the fudge? What kind of glass dick have you been smoking from?” “The same one..” “From your ass, bitch!” Krista interrupts SMACK! “YOU GOT PIMP SLAPPED! YOU GOT PIMPED SLAPPED!” COACH Oh! She just smacked the pyrite off that boy's teeth! With embarrassment flaring flames of anger in his mind, Soul launches himself off the ropes, and volleys another leaping side kick at Krista. But she shoots bellow his incoming attack, and when he lands on his snake skin boots he's thrown dangerously off balance. This misstep proves costly, as the easy, breezy, beauitful covergirl is able to snare him into a half nelson without problem. Seconds later, the heavenly babe is drilling him into the canvas with a half nelson face crusher! “If you got girl problems, I feel bad for you, son, I got 99 Problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me!” With pleasure determines Rico De Janiero, who leaps onto the ring apron, eager to mangle the queen of fitness and beauty. As she charges his position, he angles his fist to explode upon her stunning face. But the only thing that truly explodes, are chilling screams from his mouth as Krista cripples him with a savage titty twister! Though the audience is delighted with her act of cruelty, elderly referee Clem Buzzlefoxer strongly warns against it. Krista's isn't dissuaded by the old man's admonishments, and informs him, “Come on, Clem, look how big these things are, we could vulcanize em, and sell 'em for ten dollars a piece as hockey pucks!” “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA” Less thrilled about her plans to expand her business to include sporting goods, is Lucius Soul, who pounds the entrepreneur away from his comrade with stinging forearm smashes. As Rico sinks to the outside mats to weep in peace, the smooth soul bro traps his stunned rival into front facelock. Moving with incredible speed, he kicks her expensive footwear out from under her, completely dismantling her balance as he drives her backwards with a leg sweep DDT! Krista head snaps off the canvas like a tennis ball, and her body sags against the floor, momentarily drained of all energy. Soul is wise to pounce on her wounded state, and covers her for a pin “Count dis piece, old head monkey nuts!” He yells to the eternally slow moving referee.. ONE! TWO! But Krista shoots her shoulder off the canvas, drawing an enormous cheer from her fanbase. Soul is not quite as overjoyed as the audience and rattles off a laundry list of faults, pitfalls, and general annoyances with Clem's character in response to the slow count. COACH Yo, Lucius Soul is a macktackular mac daddy. He and Rico told me they got some east end prime bitches for me to practice the art of dickupuncture over the Holiday season. Grabbing Krista by the elaborately designed ribbons in her hair, the native of “Nawlins” drags her upright. He quickly snakes his arm around her thin waist, readying her for her a German Suplex. But, Krissy attempts to counter the attack, by reaching behind her and locking him into an inverted 3/4th facelock. Struck by a furious bout of panic, a hastily moving Soul manages to take advantage of her tiny bodyweight by lifting her into the sky, and twisting her into position for a tombstone piledriver. His calm restored by his reacquisition of control, Soul enlists his advantageous position to take a naughty gaze down her super short skirt. That moment of lust costs him dearly; Krista's fitness model strength allows her to break his grip, push herself into the air, and tighten her lovely legs around his neck. Gravity performs the rest of the duties, as the covergirl is able to effortlessly throw him over with a head scissors. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Krista imitates a phone, “Brrrring, brrrring, brrrring. What's that? I'm bored? Really? Are you sure? One hundred percent?! Wow. Okay, thanks for calling, uh-huh, bye.” Krista hangs up her imaginary phone, “Okay, gotta skedaddle Clem, if the heart attack gets ya before I do, tell my pal Satan I'll try to catch him after New Years. X-O-X-O!” Much to Clem's amazement, Krista actually attempts to depart the ring in the middle of the bout! Fully aware of the fact that he doesn't get paid unless he works a full match, Buzzlefoxer tries his hardest to woo Krista into finishing the contest, “Krista, before ya go, I gotta tell ya, you ain't like these other dumb dorah's round here. You're one tomato who's on the trolley. I tell ya what, ya even give that dame Ava Gardner a run for her kickers?” “Are we talking Ava, pre or post Frank Sinatra?” “Pre, like a real classy dame!” “Clem, you old charmer, do tell me more before the Alzheimer's kicks in and you start thinking I'm Eleanor Roosevelt.” Obviously Soul isn't as enamored with the conversation as those of us with a working knowledge of mid 20th century celebrities might be. Thus while Clem regales Krista with tales of his time as a general in the war between the states, Soul succeeds in weaving his arm between her's. His leg coils itself around her knee, granting him the ability to drive her backwards with a side Russian leg sweep! Not wishing to waste a moment of time, the fast talking pimp scurries atop her for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! To the fans' immense joy, Krissy aggressively pops out of the pin, prompting Soul to scream at Clem, “Yo, you dookie lookin bustah fucka, that was three duckets on dem ten crackajacks! Seppatown now!” As Buzzlefoxer tries determine what Soul just said, the former HI-YAH tag champion scrapes Krista off the canvas by her teeny tiny halter top. He throws her into the ropes facing the entrance stage, then speedily rushes to the ropes that face that the cameras in the stands. Operating with pinpoint accuracy and flawless timing, Soul lowers his shoulders into a pounce as their speeding paths near a collision point. Unfortunately for him, Miss California moves just a shade faster then him, and violently clamps her arms around his neck. Momentum throws her million dollar body forward, and drives his eight dollar body downwards and crashing into the canvas courtesy of the Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect!) “LUCIUS SUCKS! LUCIUS SUCKS!” Shocked that the audience just now realizes this, Krista whips out her imaginary cellphone. “Hi, day old news? Yes? I'm fine, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'd like to cancel Fresno's subscription, they're going to be giving their business to behind the times. Uh-huh. Love you to, buh-bye!” COLE I'm just gonna float this out there...and if you guys dig it, you can take it; if not, you just send it right on back. But what does everyone think of disbanding the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and selling their roster space to advertisers? Still gainfully employed by the OAOAST, Soul scrapes his rail thin carcass off the canvas. In an effort to turn the fleeting tides of momentum back towards him, he whirls like a dervish with a twisting kick aimed at Krista's midsection. But the golden haired honey catches the boot in her hands and promptly curses him with a 360 nauseating twirl. On the verge of vomiting, and faced with a foe who's flashing him a beauty pageant worthy smile, Soul can do nothing but gasp in fright as she locks her arm beneath his. Mere moments later he's besieged by another dizzying spin, one that violently throws him into the mats at the hands of the You Say Tomato I Say Fuck You! (Spinning STO) “K-I-D IS G-O-D! K-I-D IS G-O-D! K-I-D IS G-O-D!" her home state fans ring out. "Oh don't chant that, its so embarrassing, I'm not god...of course I'm god, chant that all you want. Free day passes to purgatory for all of you!" Amazingly, the smooth soul bro finds the strength within him to drag his weary body off the canvas. But there's no moment to strike for Soul, as Krissy grabs onto his scrawny wrist and flings him into the corner. The jarring impact of the collision with the turnbuckles rips the breath straight from his lungs, and forces him to stagger aimlessly towards the center of the ring. His dazed stumbling is brought to a sudden and violent halt thanks to the high heels of Krista Isadora Duncan, pulverizing his skull with a fantastic enziguri! Soul timbers over like a fallen oak tree, the color all but drained from his dark skin as his cheek bounces off the rock solid canvas. Krista follows that impressive strike with a pinfall, CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But, Soul kicks out at the last possible nanosecond! “BOOOOOOOOO!” scream the fans, as Soul remains on the canvas attending to his sore facial features. Krissy's unsympathetic to his misery, and hovers above him, barking out, “Hurry and get up, before I slice off your coco puffs and decorate them with nouveau Renaissance era pastels!” Not endeared to the idea of being stripped in French mauve, a dizzied Soul follows her demands. Instantly, she seizes upon him with a half nelson. But before she can begin the early stages of her face crusher, the pimp wheels free of her clutches. Now placed on the offensive, Soul strides forward to tag her with a left cross. But the California sex kitten counters this attack by caving in his insides with an inverted lungblower! While the crowd pours forth huge cheers, Soul flops onto the canvas, feeling as though he's just been blasted in the stomach by a cannonball. COLE Rico De Janiero turned down the cash Mackenzie was offering because he said this would be a pleasure for he and Soul, but so far there's nothing pleasurable going on for the Wrecking Crew. Gripping onto a firm chunk of his unkempt afro, Krista guides Soul off the canvas. But her rival recovers enough of his strength to slam his knee into her six packed abdomen. Weakened and dazed by the unexpected strike Krista releases Soul to grab a moment to catch her breath. Unfortunately that moment doesn't come her way, as the mackalicious hustlah compresses her arms into a double underhook. With incredible force and speed he throws her backwards with a powerful underhook suplex! The second her body slams into the canvas, she cringes in anguish, bringing worried gasps from her army of female admirers. “Lucius Soul, baby, purely mackin, and mackin purely!” “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Drawing on the strength from the numerous lesbians that chant her name, Krissy lifts herself off the canvas. Problematically, she raises herself directly into the waiting clutches of her enemy's front face lock. Soul clamps down onto her skimpy micro skirt then foists her into her air, holding her into position to showcase what he believes to be impressive strength. Her flowing blond hair spills freely across his arm, while he giggles treacherously over the pain he's soon to inflict upon her. COLE You know that trick is only cool when the person you're holding in the air doesn't have the bodyweight of a large Yorkshire terrier. As the audience jeers his mammoth arrogance, the smooth soul bro dives backwards and spikes Krista's head into the mat with a punishing brainbuster! The fans react with horrified shrieks, as a replay of the devastating hold flashes on the video screens. Gold teeth shining through a satisfied smirk, Soul hooks her legs for pivotal pinfall... ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out! “YEAAAAA!” scream her home state fans. Bemused by his failure to secure victory Soul moans, “Straight up, nigga, Chauncey, dis bitch a ten outta ten on the ho scale, and a three outta three on the knocked up scale.” “Come on,mang, keep the focus!” Rico screams on the outside. Following Rico's gruffly stated orders, Soul pounces upon his beautiful foe, while her blasting headache continues to keep her grounded. His bony fingers tangle beneath her chin, and his sharp knee impales itself in her bare back to fully apply the dreaded chinlock. Krista's screams are constant and piercing as it appears her adversary has every intention of ripping her head clear off her neck. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “If you dont stop chantin this scallywap's name, I'ma bugga hook you all back to Frisco!” Soul warns the audience. Krista's body helplessly sags to the side, and for the moment it seems as though Lucius Soul is actually on the verge of a major upset. But, Miss California, aided by the unwavering support of her fellow golden staters, calls upon a mighty surge of strength and begins waging a frantic war to fight to her feet. Such a possibility does not sit well with Soul, and he works to tighten his death grip on the vicious vixen. But that does nothing to stop her ascent, and she stands fully upright, gaining a large ovation from the audience. Fulled by adrenaline (and need for an alcohol buzz!), Krista begins pumping elbow after elbow into LS' midsection. The first several shots can't convince Soul to break his grip, but once he begins to feel as if he has shrapnel lodged into his midsection he concedes his surrender. But he doesn't quite put himself on the defense, though, and begins hammering Krista with well placed forearms to her upper back. When he feels that she's been sufficiently weakened, he throws her into the ring cables. The ropes quickly spit her back into a waiting spin kick from the new age pimp. But much to her fans joy, she rolls beneath his twirling assault! Soul isn't deterred or thrown off balance by the avoidance, however, and comes right back wielding a dangerous elbow smash! Unfortunately for him, the dripping hot babe catches both his arms, and strikes him with a HHH-esque facecrusher! “YEAAAAA!” COLE Oh man! If Lucius Soul wasn't ugly before he sure is now! “I'm here! I'm queer! Give me a light beer! I'm here! I'm queer! Give me a light beer!”” She sings. Right on cue, one of the more attractive members of Fresno's GLAAD chapter tosses Krista a can of Bud Light. Once she hears the holy pop of the top being opened, she's guided to the highest peak of the heavens, and forgets all about Lucius Soul. Even when the former HI-YAH tag team champion attempts to tighten her into a back suplex setup, she's realitivly unmoved, “Honey, could you give me a minute or two, I'm kinda in the middle of an important project for work.” Paying no attention to Soul's protest, Krista downs the beer in one massive chug. “Ah, cross that off the to do list! I don't like to take my work home with me! Although knowing me I will. You know I'm a workaholic! Hehehehe! Okay, honey, where were we? You were doing a back suplex? Okay I put my arm like this, then you slide your head through it. Got it? Now, grab on my skirt like this. Don't be shy, I'll just pretend your Lauryn Hill after a meth binge or something. Put your right hand in,your right hand out, your right hand in, And shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey, And you turn yourself around, that's what its all about! Joking of course. Now, go ahead and lift me!” Beyond annoyed with Krista's condescendingly helpful directions, Lucius raises her into the sky, with the intent on using the powerful hold to drive her into the depths of hell. Sadly for him, his grip on the Hollywood hottie is much to weak, and she manages to flip out of his hold with effortless ease. Before he can properly realize she's not even in his grasp, she's mangling his facial features with a one handed face crusher! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Well aware of the fact that his associate is heading down an irreversible path of defeat, Rico raises himself onto the apron to strike down the bothersome lass. Though the fans ready themselves for a brutal conflict between the two hot-heads, Krista realizes she hasn't a chance in a fist fight with Rico, and instead appeals to his love for a good 80's disco tune. Dropping to her knees and channellings the spirit of Laura Brannigan, Krista sings with the fiery passion that only consuming sixteen beers prior to the match can bring, “Gloria, you're always on the run now. Running after somebody, you gotta get him somehow. I think you've got to slow down, before you start to blow it. I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it As the power in her voice expands with each lyric, Krista extends a trembling hand towards Rico, who only looks on with frigid anger. “No! Rico ain't getting fooled this time, woman! You fool Rico once shame on you, you fool Rico twice, you fuckin' dead. You hear me, you fuckin' dead! Its curtains for you! You better stop!” “Rico, this isn't about me, or you, or any of us. This about giving the OAOAST, what it wants, what it needs, what it's been dying for. Gloria. ” “No!” “A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna go down? Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound?” “I won't!” Rico turns away from Krista, the inner battle between his duty to the Wrecking Crew and his long hidden love of Gloria scarring his tortured face with an infinite sadness. “Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the afternoon? Feel your innocence slipping away, don't believe it's comin' back soon!” Krista continues to sing Rico lowers his head engulfed by bleak cloud misery that constrains him like a coffin. He knows only one piercing beam of light that can obliterate the darkness hanging upon his world, RICO You really don't remember, was it something that he said? Are the voices in your head calling, Gloooooooria? Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'? If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody caaaaaalllllllin'? You don't have to answer! Leave them hangin' on the l-i-i-iiiiine, ohhhh-oh-ohhhhh, calling Glor-iaaaaaaa! Gloria! Krista and Rico begin snapping their fingers, and rhythmically gliding along the ring and ring apron in unison. KRISTA Gloria! RICO I think they got your number! KRISTA Gloria! RICO I think they got the alias.... KRISTA Gloria! RICO That you've been living under! KRISTA Gloria! RICO But you really don't remember, was it something that they said? Are the voices in your head calling, KRISTA Gloriaaaaaaaa? RICO A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna....wait a minute...what the shit, mang? You did it again! Rico hates Gloria! Before Krista can calm him with some Papa, Can you hear me from Yentl, Rico, enraged over her latest batch of treachery, reaches over the ropes and tightens her into a front facelock. Teeth snarling bloody venom, he prepares to cripple her with a brainbuster to the outside mats, heedless to threats of a disqualification Buzzlefoxer hangs above his comrade! COLE Come on Rico, Gloria is a damn good song! While Buzzlefoxer's threats may do nothing to separate Rico from Krista, perhaps the charging boys from D*LUX will! As cheers erupt from the throats of teenage girls across the arena, Shayne and Tyler zip down the ramp at light speed. Once they reach Rico, its takes nothing more then a mighty heave to yank him away from their celeb crush. COACH The hell is these peckerwoods doing round here?! Though Rico lands on his feet, he isn't able to stay there for long, as the duo from Detroit blast him into next week with a powerful double spinning wheel kick! “YEAAAAAA!” Paying no mind to the wealth of cheers that surround them, the boys immediately attend to task of checking on Krista's health. As most of their medical practicing seems to involve debating over who will give her mouth to mouth, Krista thanks the kids for their help, and assures them that she's okay. She returns her focus to the long forgotten Lucius Soul and begins hammering him with knife edge chops that rip through his dark chocolate flesh. After the sixth searing blow lands, Krista grabs onto his wrist and flings him into the ropes. He returns with a lariat as his weapon of choice, but telegraphs the strike so poorly, that our buxom heroine meets with little trouble in mowing him down with a crowd popping spear! Krista follows with a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Soul pops out of the pin, causing distressed groans to seep from every corner of the arena. Less of a defeatist then the audience, Krista peels Soul off the canvas, and attempts to throw him into the corner. But the Louisianan reverses the hold and its Krissy's who's forced to endure the terrible collision with the ringposts. Watching her heave for breath and moan in anguish, stokes Soul's desires to inflict scorching pain upon her, and he zeros in on her with a corner yakuza kick! Unfortunately, his inability to not telegraphs his every move, once again becomes the maker of his downfall, as Krista simply glides out the way, and lets the poor soul (pun!), crotch himself atop the ringposts! “LUCIUS SUCKS! LUCIUS SUCKS!” Singing a tune of most miserable agony, Soul pull his wounded leg and groin away from the accident scene, and simply seeks a place to lie down and rest. There will be no rest for his weary bones, however, as Miss California scurries atop the turnbuckles. Her blue eyes become distracted by the Fresno society of Jewish lesbian veterinarian assistants in the front row, trying to get a peak up her skirt. Never needing an excuse to show off, Krista happily lifts up the already tiny piece of fabric to let them feast on the view of her cute wiggling BUTT. After sending her fans (and D*LUX) to seventh heaven, Krissy sends Lucius Soul toppling to the mat with a picture perfect shooting star press! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”the fans and D*LUX chant, while Buzzlefoxer counts the resulting pin.. CROWD and D*LUX ONE! CROWD and D*LUX TWO! CROWD and D*LUX THREE! The crowd spoke too soon, as Lucius Soul pulls his shoulder off the canvas. COLE Soul barely avoiding defeat! And Mackenzie probably had a heart attack back stage! Quick to try and put himself on the attack, Lucius soon scrambles to his feet. But the moment he rises he's caught within an inverted facelock. Krista hasn't a chance to execute her intended inverted DDT, though, as her adversary powers his way out of the hold by rifling knees into her face. Putting his new freedom to good use, Soul shoots Krista into the ropes. Once Miss California makes her return, his boot plants itself into her ripped midsection. The affects of the attack are crippling, doubling Krista over and leaving her paralyzed. The pimp takes quick advantage of his weakened state, grabbing onto wonderful hair and simply slamming her backwards to the canvas! COLE That's just pure smash mouth, rough neck, brutal wrestling by Soul. He wants this win under any circumstances. Leaving Krista to bemoan the possibility that he may have pulled out one of ten thousand strands of her hair, Soul quickly scampers to the top rope, bringing froth a river of jeers from the audience. “Yo, we frying this ho in a mac daddy skillet!” Soul informs them, pointing an angry finger at his fallen foe. Lucius' plan to fry Krista is thrown wholly astray due to the meddling of her ever present stalkers, D*LUX! The bothersome pair latch onto Soul's gaudy footwear, trapping him into place, and forcing a plethora of vulgarities from his foul mouth. “Ya'll drunk like a nine to five nigga! You bugga bitches best to be up off da kid!” “No way! We won't let you hurt Miss Krista!” they shout in concert. “These skeezers is off the meat rack, Chauncey! Get 'em off me!” Soul pleads, now fearful they're of the mind to send him plummeting to the thin mats bellow. Only when Buzzlefoxer hangs the consequence of a DQ above their precious Krista, do D*LUX finally release their vice hold on Soul. Free of the former American Idol contestants, the agile superpimp wastes no time in dismounting his nest with an amazing 450 splash! Unfortunately, midway through his descent, Soul's onyx eyes bear witness to the troubling sight of his foe sliding out of the way! Gripped by panic, the smooth soul bro adjusts course and barely succeeds in landing on his snake skin boots. The unexpected landing throws him absolutely off balance, and the only reason he's able to stay upright is because of Krista's hands coming together beneath his chin. The fans rise to their feet and let loose with monstrous cheers, knowing full will a Krista Isaodra Duncan victory is at hand. COLE Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! Lucius Soul may not be dead, but it certainly looks as though he's about to join Red Foxx in the after life as he hits the canvas with thundering impact from the reverse X-factor. Smiling broadly, Krista reaches forward and hooks his leg... CROWD and D*LUX ONE! CROWD and D*LUX TWO!!! CROWD and D*LUX THREE!! The still standing crowd explodes with cheers and exchanges high fives for their fellow Californian's impressive victory over one half of the Wrecking Crew. On the outside D*LUX embrace each other as if they've just won the OAOAST tag team championships. Once they realize they could be performing the more pleasurable task of hugging Krista, they dive into the ring. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall....Miss California, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! COLE That's not music to Mackenzie's ears, I know that! But, regardless Krista picks up a solid win over The Wrecking Crew, but will she pick up a new lady love on The Look Of Love, debuting next week. Giggling with delight D*LUX lift a somewhat stunned Krista onto their shoulders. Though she assures them that isn't really necessary, its hard to convince them to listen to reason when her bare legs are caressing their faces. COACH Idiots! Idiots! SHE'S A LESBIAN! SHE'S A LESBIAN! SHE'S A LESBIAN! YOU'RE CRUSHING ON A LESBIAN! COLE Well, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking promised us there would begin a new chapter in the tag division with Chicks Over Dicks gone. But the playground bully showed she can still stop by and torment the A/V club every once in a while. You have to wonder how this loss will effect The Wrecking Crew heading into The Anderson Cup? They were so excited to participate, claimed it would be where they turned things around, but will they even have the momentum needed to advance out the first round? Will their tag team matches see them fare better then their singles matches? We'll see! Coach? COACH (singing) Gloria, you're always on the run now.R unning after somebody, you gotta get him somehow. I think you've got to slow down, before you start to blow it. I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it! Edited December 21, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) We cut to the halls backstage where all is calm, for now, with the Christmas spirit running high amongst at least some of the OAOAST workers. Decked out in his finest, crispest suit, Bohemoth is in a typically relaxed mood as he stands chatting away with Jade Rodez. MALIBU Hey, big man. Bo turns around and lowers his orange tinted shades a tad as Zack walks over. Quickly taking the hint, Jade waves a quick 'hi' and 'bye' to Zack and scuttles off and Bo re-positions the shades before folding his arms. MALIBU Good kid. So, got the night off tonight huh? BOHEMOTH Looks like it. MALIBU Well, gives you a little extra time to recover from your gruelling match last week I guess. BOHEMOTH Oh man, don't remind me. The two chuckle a little but it's clear that there's a little tension between them. MALIBU You know, I know I said it last week before you went out into that ring but after what you did, I figure it's worth repeating. They're not all going to be like that. Going through both Conquistadors was pretty impressive, I'll admit. You got my attention. But, at the same time, those two Conquistadors are just the tip of the iceberg. You going through them one on one, two on one, ten on one, whatever, it isn't going to earn you any World Title shots alone. BOHEMOTH Zack, no offence but, I wasn't trying to get your attention last week. MALIBU Oh no? BOHEMOTH No, I wasn't. They tried to jump me and they got what was coming, simple as. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. As far as what you're saying to me right now goes, again, I appreciate your concern but you're preaching old news. And it doesn't matter who's across the ring from me out there. It could be Conquistadors, it could be Biff Atlas, James Blonde, Rodez, Alfdogg, Reject, PRL... you. Zack smirks a little, but also straightens up a bit. BOHEMOTH Doesn't matter. MALIBU Well, it might matter when you try and take two or three of them on at a time big man. So I wouldn't get too far ahead of yourself, if I was you. BOHEMOTH I'll bear it in mind. Thanks. Off strolls Bo, leaving Zack watching on, his expression a hard one to read as we fade away. COMMERCIAL The Look Of Love is in Krista's eyes But will ten of the wildest women on television erase it? December 27th 2007 The Look of Love Debuts COMING UP NEXT ***World International Championship*** Felix Strutter Vs Denzel Spencer NEXT Edited December 21, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by Super Mario Galaxy-Now In Stores Charlie Wilson's War - In Theaters Tomorrow High School Musical 2: Extended Edition-Buy it on DVD today! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this is one half of our double main event here on HeldDOWN~! Where tonight, two of the year's breakout OAOAST superstars, for the International championship of the WORLD! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Fresno, California...ARRRRRRE YYYYYYOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRREADY? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Fresno, and the millions and millions watching all over the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Master Blaster (Jammin') plays, and Denzel Spencer gets a huge reaction as he makes his way to the ring. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time, weighing in at 226 1/2 pounds...this man has come within a hair of becoming a World champion, and he has another shot right here tonight. The challenger...from Montego Bay, Jamaica...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Two weeks ago, Denzel Spencer was pinned by Felix Strutter in a fatal 4-way match which saw the International World title change hands, but not before a man dressed in all black made his way through the crowd and attacked Spencer, costing him the match! Spencer slides into the ring and poses on the buckles, as the crowd continues to cheer. Je t'adore, je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls plays, and Felix Strutter makes his way through the entrance of smoke and pink strobes, greeted by boos. BUFFER His opponent...weighing in at 217 1/2 pounds...tonight, this man makes his first defense of his first World title which he won two weeks ago! Ladies and gentlemen...from San Jose, California...the OAOAST International champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRR!!!!! Strutter climbs into the ring, then poses with the belt on the side of the ropes, then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE What a ride Felix Strutter has had here in the OAOAST! It was about 16 months ago that he came into the company, he's won a six-man title, a two-time Heartland champion, and just two weeks ago, became a World champion for the first time in his career! Strutter and Spencer circle the ring and tie up. Strutter goes behind, but Spencer is able to get momentum and take him through the middle ropes! COLE Nice escape by Denzel Spencer, in this World championship match! Strutter slaps the mat in frustration, then slides back inside and ties up again. Strutter gets a knee to the gut, then whips Spencer into the ropes, and attempts a hiptoss, but Spencer spins through and delivers one of his own! Spencer follows that up with a armdrag! Strutter gets to his feet again, and is hit with a big dropkick! Strutter rolls outside again, as the crowd gets behind Spencer. COLE And Denzel Spencer on a roll here to start the match! Spencer follows, and Strutter runs away, causing Spencer to give chase. Strutter slides in, and when Spencer slides in after him, he's met with an elbow to the back of the head! COACH Smart move by Felix! COLE Very smart indeed, Denzel falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book! Strutter stomps away on Spencer, then picks him up and executes a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter backs Spencer into a corner, and starts firing off European uppercuts. He then whips Spencer across, and charges, but Spencer moves out of the way! COLE Spencer able to avoid that charge from Strutter! Spencer delivers a foot to the gut, then backs up, and catches Strutter with a spinning neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer whips Strutter into a corner, and charges, but Strutter moves out of the way! Spencer staggers out, and is caught with a spinning heel kick! COACH There we go! Nice kick! Strutter catches his wind briefly, then tosses Spencer out to the outside. COLE And Strutter would love to get a count-out victory here... Strutter allows Spencer to climb back onto the apron, then grabs him in a front facelock, before spinning around and dropping his throat across the ropes, sending him back to the floor! The referee reprimands him, as Spencer tries to get on the apron once again. Strutter drags him in, and drops a fist to the face! A second one, and a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter picks up Spencer and attempts to ram him into the buckle, but Spencer blocks and rams Strutter instead! Spencer then kicks at Strutter, allowing him to catch the foot, then spins backwards and catches Strutter with his free foot, causing Strutter to stagger back and get tied up in the ropes! COLE And Strutter is tied up! The crowd buzzes as Spencer points at Strutter, then starts to hammer away! COACH Come on, ref, break this up! Hebner backs Spencer up, then tries to free Strutter. Spencer charges, but Strutter gets a foot up! COLE And it looks like Strutter's going to break it up himself! Strutter whips Spencer into the ropes, but Spencer ducks a clothesline and catches him with a bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter hits a thrust to the throat, drawing more verbal abuse from the referee. Strutter then tosses Spencer out, but Spencer skins the cat! COLE And Spencer hangs on, just like two weeks ago! Strutter spots this, and sends him right back over with a clothesline! COACH He didn't hang on that time! Strutter catches his breath, then follows Spencer outside, and sends him into the steel steps! COLE And Denzel Spencer goes right into the steel steps! Strutter then climbs onto the apron, and comes down onto Spencer with a double axhandle as he gets to his feet! Strutter then tosses Spencer back inside, going up to the top, and leveling him with a missile dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Big-time dropkick, but not enough yet! COACH But Strutter's on a roll now, Cole! Strutter picks up Spencer, and executes a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter sets up Spencer, and executes a fisherman's buster! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Strutter picks up Spencer and attempts a back suplex, but Spencer flips over the back, and starts to fire off right hands! COLE And Spencer fighting back! Spencer whips Strutter into the ropes, but puts his head down, and takes a kick from Strutter! Strutter then charges, but Spencer backdrops him to the floor! COLE And Strutter all the way down to the floor! Spencer follows him out, and tosses him back inside. Spencer climbs to the top, and hits him with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets his foot on the rope! Spencer stomps on Strutter as Strutter rolls to the ropes. Spencer charges, but Strutter dumps him over the top. Spencer lands on the apron, however, and delivers a shoulder to the gut, followed by a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer climbs onto the shoulders of Strutter, and comes down with a victory roll! 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer then sets up Strutter, and drills him with a SITOUT POWERBOMB~! 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets the shoulder up! Strutter begs off, as Spencer follows him into a corner. Spencer delivers right hands, then picks Strutter up and whips him across. He charges, but Strutter moves, and Spencer rams into the post shoulder-first! COLE Strutter moving, and Spencer running with his shoulder right into the steel ringpost! Strutter gets his wits about him, then grabs Spencer, and attempts an Irish whip. Spencer tries to reverse, but Strutter reverses his reversal, and the end result is Spencer colliding with the referee! COLE And the referee goes down! Strutter catches Spencer with a back suplex, then goes to the top rope. COACH And here comes that Shooting Star legdrop, Cole! Strutter gets his balance on the top, and comes off for the SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP~!!!!!11111 ... ...but Spencer rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home! Spencer gets to his feet slowly, and sets Strutter up for his own Thunder Bay Throttle! COLE Look at this! COACH What is this? Suddenly, the mystery man comes in through the crowd again! COLE Hey, there's that guy again! The man grabs Spencer from behind, but Spencer kicks his leg back, catching him with a low blow! The man falls to the mat, and loses his hood, revealing...REGGIE LAMONT??? COLE Hey...is that Reggie Lamont? COACH It is! COLE The former tag team partner of Denzel Spencer! But why? Spencer has a stunned look on his face, as Strutter attacks from behind. Lamont joins in, causing the revived referee to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE I can't believe this! Strutter and Lamont stomp away at Spencer, then Lamont picks up Spencer, and executes a sitout front suplex! COACH This is great, Cole! Strutter and Lamont celebrate, then Lamont raises Strutter's hand as the crowd boos. COLE Reggie Lamont is back in the OAOAST, and he has turned his back on his former tag team partner! These two have got a lot of explaining to do in the coming shows! But there's still more to come on this very show! The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat and The Mad Cappa are shown. The Mad Cappa is pacing back and forth while Colombian Heat sits on a table, the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd cheers loudly. Cappa is muttering to himself. THE MAD CAPPA Where is he? What's taking him so long? Look, he better be here soon! Do you know where your friend is? COLOMBIAN HEAT Naw, dude. PR likes to show up whenever he wants to. I's can't control him. THE MAD CAPPA Well, he better be here soon. Let's just get this match over with. I don't like it anymore than I'm sure he does! Suddenly, into the shot walks Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd cheers loudly. PR has an annoyed look on his face. The Mad Cappa stares at his longtime nemesis, keeping his guard up just incase. Colombian Heat watches, hoping that nothing breaks down between them. THE MAD CAPPA Well, look who finally decided to show up! THA PUERTO RICAN Okay Cappa. If the two of us have to team up tonight, let's go over a few ground rules. First off, I am the captain of this team. Not you. Me. That means YOU must follow MY lead at all times. What I say goes. You got that? THE MAD CAPPA Listen-- PRL Second. Do not look at me in the eye unless I say so. When we are in the ring, I want you to address me ONLY as 'Captain'. Not 'dude.' Not 'buddy.' Not 'compadre.' CAPTAIN. All right? Cappa just stares at PRL. PRL Third. This match DOES NOT, I REPEAT, DOES NOT change anything! We are not friends. We are not buddies. We are not compadres. We are not homies. We are not amigos. We are not chums. We are not heterosexual life partners. We are NOTHING! Don't ask me to do something with you after the show. Don't take me out to drink beer with you. Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't IM me. Don't send me a message or a comment on MySpace OR Facebook OR Friendster. Don't even ask to sit next to me on a bus! I will not answer. I don't want you in my life at all. I am only teaming up with you because I HAVE to. Not because I WANT to. Do we have an understanding, Mad Cappa? THE MAD CAPPA Loud and clear, P.R. Now, let me tell YOU something. You ain't gonna tell me what to do EVER. Not in the ring, not here, not ANYWHERE! And I'll call you whatever I want to call you. If I want to call you a slimeball, I will! If I want to call you a Puerto Rican jackass, I will! Third, this is not about your hand, or me tagging it. I don't like your hand. I don't like any part of you. But tonight, for one night only, it's not about who's better, you or me. It's about you and I getting in the ring together and kicking some Lightning Crew ass! Understand? PRL You know, just because you DIDN'T crush my larynx last week doesn't mean I owe you anything. CAPPA You don't have to. I don't care. I didn't do it because I like you. I did it because I didn't want to do Stephen Joseph's bidding. But the issue between us? That ain't over. PRL *Sigh* You will never get over it, will you? CAPPA Oh, will you cut it out with that bullsh-- PRL I'm not the one still clinging to the past, aren't I? The past few months have been WAY more interesting for me than whatever happened in 2003! Unlike you, my career didn't peak three years ago! No, my career hasn't even PEAKED yet! I'm not even in my prime, baby! I STILL got a ways to go! CAPPA Not if you keep running your mouth like that you won't! PRL Are you threatening me? You wanna break it down right here, right now? CAPPA Maybe I am, Puerto! Maybe I am! PRL Oh, I'll break it down! I'll break it down BUCK WILD STYLE! YA HEARD ME!? CAPPA Why don't we break it down right now, BITCH! LET'S GO! PRL OH, WE'LL GO! WE'LL GO RIGHT NOW! JUST BRING IT, CAPPA! I AIN'T AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE! I'M RIGHT HERE! LET'S DO IT! CAPPA ALL RIGHT! I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! PR and The Mad Cappa continue arguing, getting in each other's faces. The crowd cheers. COLOMBIAN HEAT YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! Colombian Heat gets in between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. He holds them back, even though both PRL and Cappa are ready to fight at any moment. HEAT Yo! Calm down, y'all! Calm the hell down! Now look, I's know youse guys hate each other to death. But you gotta remember, both of y'all have a common enemy. His name is Stephen Joseph Popick! And this is exactly what he wants. Do youse want to do what Stephen Joseph Popick WANTS you to do!? Naw, I don't think youse two do. So don't. Work together tonight. Try and forget about tha past for at least a couple of minutes. Go out there, and kick some Lightning Crew ass THEN youse two can go back to hatin' each other. And besides, youse guys are gonna fight in two weeks on tha New Year's Spectacular, so why fight now? Fight in tha ring, with tha World Title on tha line, when it counts! Not here. Not backstage. Ya feel me? Do ya feel me? Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa stare at each other. Both men are fuming. THA PUERTO RICAN You know something? Heat's right. COLOMBIAN HEAT Damn right I is. PRL The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican, we can talk all night long. But nothing's ever going to change between you and I. So do yourself a favour, you just meet Tha Puerto Rican in the middle of the ring tonight. PROVE to me that you're as good as you say you are! THE MAD CAPPA You don't worry about me. You JUST BRING IT! PRL Oh I will. I will. The Mad Cappa turns to walk away. PRL continues staring at him. COLOMBIAN HEAT There. Don't we all feel like one big happy family now? PRL looks at Colombian Heat. HEAT Just trying to lighten the mood, is all. PRL Yeah, well don't. HEAT Fine. You're Mr. Brightside aren't you? Tha Puerto Rican glares at Colombian Heat. Colombian Heat smiles at his best friend. The Mad Cappa has left the backstage area. The crowd cheers loudly. (Cut to Sofa Central with Double C~!) COLE How can Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa be on the same page after all that they've been through over the years? COACH They can't, which is why they will lose tonight! COLE It should be quite the interesting match-up later on tonight. The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican TEAM UP to take on Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua in our main event right here tonight on HeldDOWN~! OAOAST QuizDOWN is brought to you by...Blade Runner: 5 Disc Ultimate Edition now available on DVD Who was the third general manager in HeldDOWN history? A.Northstar B.Abe Vigoda C.Josie Baker D.Calvin Szechstein The Answer..... B.Abe Vigoda COMMERCIAL Edited December 22, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 (edited) Attempting to forget about her haphazard and failed plot to rid the OAOAST of Krista Isadora Duncan, Mackenzie sits in her dressing room, pouring over the financial records of Miss Spezia Sweeties. And speak of the devil, who else should come bursting through the door but Alix Maria Spezia! Attired in a LA Kings tank top with the last name of defensemen Rob Blake etched across the back, and a pair of black capri shorts, Alix carries a gift box in her hand. ALIX Hi-ya, Mackie! Guess what I have? Presents, presents, presents, part two! Presents, presents, presents, part two! Wanna know what this one is for? MACKENZIE Christmas? ALIX Christmas? Uh, don't you mean X-Mas? Malcolm X-Mas? Christmas was invented by cracker tricknology, as a way for the Neo-Nazi corporate fascists to round us up with the rest of proletariat and undesirables to clean the carriage stables of the ultra class! MACKENZIE What's the ultra class? ALIX I don't need to know. I just have to shovel the filth! Your kind gorges themselves at the troth while we the working class, are left sucking the crumbs off your two thousand dollar tie. I don't even own a tie! MACKENZIE I see. uh.....Presents, presents, presents, part two! Presents, presents, presents, part two! ALIX Oh, wow! You got me presents? That's awesome! And my mother called you a homewrecking whore? You can wreck all the homes you want if you got Alicia Keys CD for me. MACKENZIE No, you said you have presents for me. You know, the one in your hand? Shocked, Alix looks down to see that their actually is a present in her hand. ALIX Huh? Oh! Wow! I do! Bitchin! Yeah, so right on, here ya go, Mackie! Alix tosses Mackenzie the present, which she amazingly fails to catch, letting it ungracefully clunk against the floor. ALIX Uh, I guess we've figured out who's butch in this relationship. Ignoring, Alix's snide remark, Mackenzie digs through the poorly applied SpongeBob wrapping paper to uncover a magnificent set of diamond earrings. MACKENZIE Are these for me? Baby, they're beautiful! (reading the card that came with it) Thank you for twenty days of magic and wonderment? Baby, you even learned to spell magic! ALIX And that damn Disney-ez spell said I could never do it. In your face Donald Duck, you marble mouth pill popping canard! MACKENZIE I can't believe I forgot our twenty day anniversary. What's wrong with me? You know what, when we get back to Los Angeles, I want you take my credit card go down to the little girl's department at Macy's and by yourself a nice pair of shorts. ALIX I can't fit little girls shorts! MACKENZIE Uh-huh, I know, that's the point. ALIX Ooooooh, kink-ay! MACKENZIE I have another present for you to. In fact, I have multiple presents for you. ALIX If you're gonna ask me to get rid of Christian's herpes scabs with a power sander. Then I'd rather I dye my hair green and ride a purple elephant to Rite-Aid! MACKENIZE Well, I looked, but they don't make power sanders that big, so keep the saddle in the closet for now. Instead I'm in the process of lining up several big matches for you. Yep, you heard that right. ALIX For me! For me! For me! Is one against a dinosaur? Oh, please say its against a dinosaur! Ever since Baby Bop refused my friend request on Myspace I've harbored deep rooted lustings for swift and brutal revenge against her and her kind. MACKENZIE No. A dinosaur would put a terrible strain on our insurance department's budget. ALIX Oh that's sucky.........is one against dinosaur? MACKENZIE (defeated) Yes. Yes one is against a dinosaur. One, I think you know pretty well. A certain Baby Bop? I heard that she denied your friend request on Myspace. ALIX Who told you? Have you been spying on me! Ugh, Mackie, get a life of your own! Jeez! Eager to not enter a hopeless argument with Alix, Mackenzie shifts the subject back to presents. MACKENZIE Presents, presents, presents, part two! Presents, presents, presents, part two! ALIX Cool, gimmie! MACKENZIE Sorry, the other matches are a surprise. ALIX A surprise! A surprise! A surprise! Is a surprise one of those big fat Japanese dudes from HI-YAH? Because then I'd rather just have a futon, because its kinda like sitting in the lap of a big fat Japanese dude. Only he's made out of leather! And hopefully he has four different vibrate settings. MACKENZIE Certainly a marketing concept we can submit to the fine folks at La-z-boy. Alix, I have some work I need to get finished. Why don't you go to the local grocery store, maybe get yourself a coloring book, or something, and you can come back and we can do our work together? ALIX Groovy! But I need a little money from the ATM. MACKENZIE You got it, baby. Mackenzie stands up, and walks to her purse. Quickly she pulls her card out of her wallet and dangles it in front of Alix's face. Mackenzie catches Alix entirely off guard by slowly tracing the little strip of plastic down her chest. As the the soft touch of Mackenzie's hand against her chest sends shock waves against her body, Alix's heart is melted by the seductive gaze Mackenzie washes over her. MACKENZIE Sorry. Denied. MACKENZIE (swiping it through Alix's chest) Denied again. Turn around. Licking her wet lips, Mackenzie slowly glides the card down Alix's back, and tenderly leads it across the firm BUTT her eyes admires so lustily. MACKENZIE Mmmm...approved Satisfied with Alix's moneymaker, Mackenzie digs into her purse and pulls out a wad of cash which she stuffs into Alix's hand. ALIX Okay, I meant the real ATM, but um, this works to. Alix gives Mackenzie a quick peck on the cheek, then scurries out the room. Our view switches to the religions of the world themed decor of the announce table COLE Well, folks, so far its been a fantastic holiday HeldDOWN, and right now I'd like to tell you a bit about... THE LIGHTS GO DARK WITH THE SOUND OF A BELL COLE: What - THE BELL RINGS AGAIN, AND A FULL MOON FLARES TO LIFE ON THE TRON FAMILIAR GUITAR CHORDS begin echoing throughout the arena - "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC! ON THE TRON: SPIDER-POET, Clinging on for dear life to the swinging cell-top cage door! JINGUS trying to pull him down, BUT HE MAKES IT! Cole: Does anybody know what the hell this is?! SpiderPoet's been missing for years - BRIGHT FLASH - THE STAGE EXPLODES IN BLUE AND WHITE PYRO! ALL GOES DARK! The MOON slowly fades up and BURSTS INTO BLUE FLAME, leaving a PHOENIX SYMBOL FAMILIAR MALE VOICE: Ashes and ashes, time passes in refining fire, and time's up for every liar. DARKNESS COMMERCIAL BREAK Edited December 21, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 "LIGHTNING CREW!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The lights go down in the arena as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" begins playing. Smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and a huge burst of pyro hits the stage. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing over the P.A. system. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua come out through the smoke. The crowd boos louder than before. Wall and Boricua look at the crowd with serious expressions on their faces. Boricua sneers at the crowd. He yells at some fans. Wall tells Boricua to calm down a bit. Once Boricua calms down, Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air. The crowd boos again. Wall and Boricua look at each other, and then begin their walk to the ring. Cuban Wall's eyes are focused solely on the squared circle, while Mr. Boricua grunts and screams at the fans. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Representing The Lightning Crew. At a total combined weight of 585 lbs. They are the team of CUBAN WALL and MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BORICUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a bit as he continues walking to the ring. Mr. Boricua grunts and snorts. COLE Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have teamed up several times in the past, so they already hold an advantage over their opponents! COACH Not just that, Cole. They're also really big, really talented, and members of The Lightning Crew! COLE That's true, Coach. This will NOT be an easy battle for either Tha Puerto Rican OR The Mad Cappa! COACH Damn right. Which is why I am SO looking forward to this match! This is going to be great! Mr. Boricua yells at the fans at ringside. Several little children run behind their mothers and fathers. Cuban Wall climbs the ring steps with Mr. Boricua following him. Wall enters the ring via the top ring rope, and Mr. Boricua follows him. Cuban Wall shadow boxes in the ring while a spotlight shines on him and Mr. Boricua. Wall and Boricua stand near the ring ropes, look at each other...and do The Lightning Crew Salute together in sync! The crowd boos. Cuban Wall jaws with the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Boricua poses on a second turnbuckle and yells at the fans. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa team up for the first time in a long time! And it's coming up next! Commercials We return to HeldDOWN~! with Cuban Wall posing on a second turnbuckle to boos. Wall gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again. Wall gets off the turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air once more. Cuban Wall gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle to raise his hands in the air again. Wall gets off the turnbuckles and shadow boxes in the ring while Mr. Boricua heads to the outside to yell at the fans. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, we are moments away from a big main event! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa TEAMING UP! And yet, in two weeks on the New Year's Spectacular, they are going to be in a Triple Threat Match with Stephen Joseph Popick for the OAOAST World Title! COACH They're not going to be able to team up, Cole! There is too much history, too much HATRED, for them to coexist! Plus, they know what's coming up on January 3rd, and that will distract them too! COLE It is very likely that this won't be an easy alliance! There is no love lost between PRL and The Mad Cappa. But this is only one match. And they have a common enemy in Wall and Boricua. If they can remember that, they might have a chance! COACH They won't, which is why they're doomed. The lights go back on in the arena. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. COLE What an announcement from Stephen Joseph earlier tonight. Both PR and Cappa getting a shot at the World Heavyweight Title on January 3rd on the New Year's Spectacular in a Triple Threat Match. Cappa's first Title shot ever. PRL looking to win his first World Championship ever in two weeks. COACH We've said that so many times over the past year that the words have lost all meaning! COLE While it's true that Tha Puerto Rican has failed to win the World Heavyweight Title yet, he is resilient. He will not give up. He won't rest until he has the World Heavyweight Title belt in his possession! COACH Then he will keep trying until the day he dies, because that moment will NEVER happen! COLE That moment might happen two weeks from now on the New Year's Spectacular! PRL could begin 2008 by winning his first World Heavyweight Championship! But so could The Mad Cappa, who also doesn't have a World Title reign in his resume. A Triple Threat Match makes things rather interesting, alot of questions will be answered on January 3rd, the first OAOAST event of the year 2008, we hope you will join us on that date! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall remove their sunglasses and hand them to a ringside attendant. Cuban Wall removes the gold chain from around his neck and hands that over to the ringside attendant too. The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua look to the entrance. COLE Our main event is about to start right now! COACH Oh goodie! The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke appears Tha Puerto Rican to a loud pop from the thousands in attendance. COLE And here comes ONE of the #1 Contenders for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! PRL looks at the crowd. He does The People's Eyebrow. P.R. chuckles, and then looks at Wall and Boricua, who are motioning PRL to enter the ring. PRL talks back, snorts, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. BUFFER And their opponents. First, coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL continues his walk to the ring, staring at Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua the entire time. COLE The People's Champion has another opportunity to become the World Heavyweight Champion in two weeks on the New Year's Spectacular! But in order to do that, he must overcome both his former manager turned rival AND his greatest opponent, who tonight is actually his PARTNER if you can believe that! COACH Tha Puerto Rican HATES The Mad Cappa with every fiber of his being. How can he look The Mad Cappa in the eye, much less tag him, without wanting to rip his head off? COLE He's going to have to keep all of his hatred inside. For one night only, PRL must set aside personal differences in order to win this match! He MUST coexist with The Mad Cappa, because it will be next to impossible to combat the two biggest members of The Lightning Crew by himself! There's no other way around it! COACH I think PRL has less of a chance coexisting with The Mad Cappa then he does of beating Popick on January 3rd! COLE Well, anything can happen in the OAOAST! COACH Except a PRL World Title reign, apparently! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Tha Puerto Rican stops near the ring. Cuban Wall stares a hole through PRL. PR mouths off to Wall and Boricua. COACH Well, PRL is obviously not afraid to run his mouth at Wall and Boricua. COLE He never has been. He is not intimidated by either man. Remember, he led these men for FOUR YEARS. COACH And they hated every second of it! Which is why they are looking forward to this match! COLE Well, I don't know about that. COACH It's true. They told me themselves. Well, Cuban Wall told me. Mr. Boricua just grunted and yelled alot. "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for The Mad Cappa's entrance. PRL is still on the outside staring at Wall and Boricua. Mr. Boricua grunts and cracks his knuckles. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican: longtime enemies, but tonight, partners! Can these two coexist after all they've been through over the years? *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to stand up and cheer for the first time in over three years. Then, "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing for the first time on OAOAST TV since 2004. Red spotlights circle the arena while strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. A single spotlight shines on the entrance. The Mad Cappa's back is turned to the camera. Cappa starts DANCING~! bringing the crowd to life. TMC turns around and flashes a smile, delighting the audience who were so used to him being grumpy for the past three years. Cappa begins walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his partner. Coming to the ring at this time. From Northern Virginia. Weighing in at 183 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Puerto Rican/Italian Champion. He...is...THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Mad Cappa continues slapping hands with the fans on the way to the ring. COLE The Mad Cappa has had some of the greatest matches of his career against the man who is his tag team partner tonight! He won his first Title in the OAOAST, the Puerto Rican Championship, against PRL at AngleMania III on March 28, 2004 in front of 78,000-plus fans in the Pontiac Silverdome in what some say is one of the greatest matches in AngleMania and OAOAST history! He has battled it out with Tha Puerto Rican all over the world twice over and now tonight, for the first time since 2003, he must team up with the man who has made his life a living hell on more than one occasion! COACH You rarely team up with the guy who crushed your larynx. COLE Cappa's got his old theme music back. He's dancing again. He's changed from just last week. COACH Last week he was a member of the greatest stable in wrestling. This week he's nothing and he'll stay that way! COLE Not unless he wins the World Heavyweight Title on the New Year's Spectacular! COACH Which has an even lesser chance of happening than PRL winning it! Cappa's never been this close to the World Title in his entire life! He's never even had a shot at the belt! Whereas PRL knows what it's like, Cappa doesn't. Both PRL and Cappa will choke under the pressure in two weeks in the Triple Threat Match, PRL because he doesn't want to fail AGAIN, and Cappa because he doesn't know how to handle the pressure of wrestling in a main event World Heavyweight Title Match, and like Popick says, he's going to divide and conquer and have another successful Title defense! COLE Popick's plan is to pit PR and Cappa together so that he can weasel his way to another successful Title defense. COACH Oh come on! COLE Popick knows their history, as we all do, but tonight, can these two men put their past aside and team up against two giant foes in Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua? COACH They can't and they won't. The Mad Cappa also stops near the ring. Cappa's smile fades when he looks at Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. Wall has an evil grin on his face, inviting Mad Cappa into the ring. Mr. Boricua sneers, snorts, grunts, yells, and cracks his knuckles, lunging after Mad Cappa. Cappa points a menacing finger at his opponents, and then turns his head to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican turns his attention to The Mad Cappa at the same time. PRL and Cappa look at each other, and sneer. COLE Uh-oh. They don't seem to be getting along too much right about now! I think they've finally realize that they got to team up and they don't like it one bit! COACH They're not going to last five minutes without taking a shot at each other! Cappa and PRL start conversing outside the ring while "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" continues playing. Their conversation gets heated. COLE Are they discussing who starts first? COACH They're probably discussing who walks out of the match first! PRL and Cappa both point to Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall. After some further discussion, Cappa and PRL just decide to slide into the ring at the same time and attack Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall! That's enough for referee Earl Hebner to call for the bell! *DING DING DING* THA PUERTO RICAN AND THE MAD CAPPA vs. CUBAN WALL AND MR. BORICUA "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool dies down. Tha Puerto Rican pairs up with Cuban Wall, while The Mad Cappa pairs up with Mr. Boricua. A slugfest erupts with both pairs while the crowd goes nuts. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa, partners tonight, opponents January 3rd! COACH And enemies for life! Mr. Boricua gains the advantage over Mad Cappa, while Cuban Wall quickly gains the advantage over Tha Puerto Rican. Wall pounds on PRL and then whips him into a neutral turnbuckle corner. Cuban Wall readies himself, and then charges forward...PRL moves out of the way...Wall misses his Avalanche! Puerto waits for Wall to get near him, and then starts hammering away with Rock-style punches to the temple! Meanwhile, Mad Cappa nails Mr. Boricua with right jabs, dazing the biggest wrestler in The Lightning Crew! COLE PR and The Mad Cappa are fighting back! COACH Come on Wall! Come on Boricua! The Mad Cappa gets Mr. Boricua good and dazed, before charging forward, clotheslining Mr. Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor! Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican elbows Cuban Wall in the face! P.R. grabs Wall and then tells Mad Cappa something. Cappa and PRL take Cuban Wall into the ropes and hammer on him for a bit, before giving him a double Irish Whip into the opposite ropes, and following with a DOUBLE BACK ELBOW! COLE A double team move from The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican! I never thought I'd see the day! COACH It's not going to last. PRL and Cappa realize that they've just teamed up...and just shrug their shoulders. Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring while The Mad Cappa picks Cuban Wall up and beats him in the face. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican aren't friends, but they have a common enemy in The Lightning Crew which is why they're focusing on Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua right now rather than each other! Cappa gives Wall an Irish whip into the ropes. Standing dropkick! Cover. ONE! KICK OUT!!! COACH Not even two! Cappa, you are so pathetic! COLE Says the guy who was rooting him on against Tha Puerto Rican last week. TMC picks CW up. Wall shoves Cappa away. But Cappa fights back with punches to the face! The Mad One whips Cuban Wall into the ropes again. He goes for a clothesline, Cuban Wall ducks, bounces off the ropes...and fires with a flying clothesline taking The Mad Cappa down! The crowd boos, but not because of Wall's clothesline, but because the one and only Stephen Joseph Popick is making his way down to the ring! COLE Oh no. What's HE doing out here!? COACH Considering two of the men in this match will face him on January 3rd, I'd say he's scouting the competition! COLE Coach, you and I both know there's more to it than that! COACH How so? Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder, stares at Cappa and Cuban Wall in the ring. He stops near the ring and just watches the match, eyes focused solely on it. COACH See? He's just watching! He's scouting his competition! COLE Cappa and PRL better be careful. Popick's presence could be a distraction for the two of them! COACH If it is, then that's an added bonus! Back in the ring, Cuban Wall covers The Mad Cappa. 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Wall looks at Popick and nods his head. Popick just stands there. COLE Nice to know that the members of The Lightning Crew went from following Tha Puerto Rican to following Stephen Joseph Popick with no problems whatsoever! COACH You heard Popick. This was a plan three months in the making! And it all came together beautifully...until that thug Colombian Heat ruined everything! But don't worry, he'll get his comeuppance soon enough! Cuban Wall picks Cappa up. Wall grabs Cappa's right arm and twists it into an arm-wringer. Wall kicks Cappa in the gut. He then does it again. And again. Cuban Wall punches Cappa's right arm! He then punches it again, Cappa screaming in pain. Wall then drives the point of his right elbow directly into Cappa's right arm! Wall does that again. CW pulls Cappa in for a bodyslam! COLE A bodyslam from that man must feel a thousand times worst due to his sheer size! COACH Damn straight. Wall drops an elbow onto Mad Cappa's chest! He goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COLE A quick kickout by The Mad One! Wall glances over at Earl Hebner, then at Popick. Popick stands there stoic. CW picks up The Mad Cappa and takes him over to a neutral corner. Wall slams Cappa's head on the top turnbuckle pad, and then chokes Cappa with his bare hands! EARL HEBNER COME ON BREAK IT UP! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV-- Cuban Wall lets go...and then punches Cappa in the jaw! COLE What a cheapshot! COACH How so? Punches are legal in professional wrestling. COLE It's the principle of the thing! COACH Wuss. Cuban Wall pleads his innocence to the referee for that punch. When he turns his attention back to Cappa, Cappa is ready with a right hand! And another! And another! And another! Cappa grabs Cuban Wall and nails him with several forearms to the face! He finishes by spinning around and nailing Wall with The IMPACT! COLE The IMPACT! The Mad Cappa with that discuss forearm shot to the face! And Cuban Wall is nearly out of it! Mad Cappa exits the ring and grabs Cuban Wall by his legs, dropping him to the canvas! Cappa then drags Cuban Wall until Wall's legs are wrapped around the ring post! Cappa grabs Wall's right leg, looks at the crowd, smiles, and then slams Cuban Wall's right leg against the ring post! COACH Disqualify him! Disqualify him! COLE The Mad Cappa is in control of the 6'7" Muscle of The Lightning Crew! Cappa plays to the crowd, and then slides back into the ring. TMC pulls Cuban Wall out from the ring post and then picks him up. Cappa arm-drags Cuban Wall back down onto the mat! The Mad Cappa heads over to his corner, stares at PRL...and then tags him into the match to cheers! COLE The Mad Cappa made the tag to Tha Puerto Rican! He actually slapped the man's hand! COACH That's the ONLY reason he'd EVER slap PRL's hand though! COLE No argument here. Tha Puerto Rican waits for Cuban Wall to get up. When he does, PR fires off with Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Cuban Wall doesn't fall, so PRL grabs Wall by his right wrist and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. PRL follows that up with a dropkick that nearly takes Wall down. PRL then bounces off the ropes, charges forward and gets off the mat with a Gamengiri which finally takes the big man down! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! PRL quickly gets back to his feet. Noticing that Cuban Wall is lying dead center in the ring, Tha Puerto Rican decides that there's no better time than now to kick Cuban Wall's right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Already!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be feeling it right about now! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then does some weird hand signals, and then charges forward, bounces off the ropes, leaps over Cuban Wall, bounces off the opposite ropes. COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL rushes forward--Cuban Wall starts to get up! PR stops himself from doing The Puerto Rico Elbow! THA PUERTO RICAN OH NO YOU DON'T! Tha Puerto Rican kicks Cuban Wall back down onto the mat! THEN, he drops The Puerto Rico Elbow to a pop! COLE Almost had a scare there for a second. Thought we weren't going to see a Puerto Rico Elbow! COACH How sad would that be if we didn't get to see it. Notice the sarcasm there? PRL covers Cuban Wall, hooking Wall's right leg. 1... 2... 3--MR. BORICUA BREAKS IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Mr. Boricua stopping a possible pinfall there! COACH Good job, Boricua! Earl Hebner orders Mr. Boricua back to his corner. Mr. Boricua yells at the diminutive referee, not bothering to follow the rules. As Boricua continues screaming at the ref, PRL picks Cuban Wall up. He hooks him up for a LATIN SLAM--but again, Mr. Boricua attacks PRL, preventing it from happening! PRL stumbles, but then regains his balance and attacks Mr. Boricua! However, Earl Hebner prevents any further attacking by separating PR and Boricua. COACH Good! Gotta keep 'em separated! Tha Puerto Rican turns around... RIGHT INTO A GOOZLE~! COLE Oh no. COACH Oh yes. Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican's red tights and then lifts him up as the crowd boos. CHOKESLAM!!!! COLE Chokeslam! Chokeslam on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Oh! He sent him right to the canvas with that one! STRAIGHT TO THE CANVAS! He got him good! He got him good! The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall sneers at PRL, chuckles, and then makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. The crowd boos some more. COLE And now Mr. Boricua in this match for the first time, officially. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" Popick isn't fazed by the chants against him, still focused on the match in the ring. He still has a serious expression on his face as Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Short-arm clothesline from Mr. Boricua! COLE That's power! That's power right there! And--wait a minute--wait a minute--hold on... Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are walking down the entrance ramp to LOUD boos! COLE What are they doing out here? They're not involved in the Triple Threat Match on January 3rd! COACH They want something better than ringside seats, Michael! Besides, Vitamin X is a Prince. He deserves only the best seating in the house. COLE I thought that prince crap ended when PRL got kicked out of The Lightning Crew! COACH I'm going to have to check with Popick on that, but I'm pretty sure Popick and Lindsay are the King and Queen of The Lightning Crew and Vitamin X and Princess Stacey are the Prince and Princess of The Lightning Crew. COLE Oh come on! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug bypass Popick and stop at ringside. They too watch the match, Bone Thug wearing the Puerto Rican flag bandanas on his head and over his mouth in addition to sunglasses over his eyes. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua slams Tha Puerto Rican's head on a top turnbuckle pad! Boricua yells while punching PRL in the face in the neutral corner! Boricua applies a headlock on The People's Champ and then takes him over to The Lightning Crew corner, making the tag to Cuban Wall. Boricua holds PRL so that Wall can kick Puerto Rican in the stomach. Wall punches PRL in the face! He does it several times, further weakening the already weakened Puerto Rican Superstar. Wall scoops Tha Puerto Rican up and hits him with a Death Valley Driver! COLE Death Valley Driver from Wall! CW gets up and stomps on PRL. He then falls to his knees and chokes PRL with his bare hands. COLE We have taken our last commercial break. We will stay with this match until the very end! And the end may be near as Cuban Wall chokes Tha Puerto Rican with his bare hands. Ref, stop this! COACH Let them fight! This is fun! CW stops choking Puerto Rican at the count of 4. The Mad Cappa can only watch as Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug look on as Cuban Wall whips Tha Puerto Rican into a neutral corner. Wall then walks back into the opposite corner, and charges forward, full steam ahead, taking the wind out of Tha Puerto Rican with an Avalanche! The crowd groans as soon as the Avalanche connects! COLE Oh my! An Avalanche! A move that could have severely damaged Tha Puerto Rican's insides! COACH His insides have turned to mush now! CW chokes PR with his bare hands again! Cappa offers PR half-assed words of encouragement. Mr. Boricua grunts, yells, and snorts. Vitamin X smiles evilly while The Bone Thug nods his head in approval. Popick just looks on stoic. Cuban Wall stops choking Tha Puerto Rican at the count of 4. CUBAN WALL You're done for, Puerto! CW drives a knee into Tha Puerto Rican's stomach! He drives another knee! And a third! Cuban Wall then switches to soupbones all over Tha Puerto Rican's body! COLE Those rights and lefts damaging Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He's going to feel really sore in the morning! Wall stops punching PRL so that he can elbow him in the face! He does it several times, and PRL is soon groggy. Wall with a right hand, following it up by grabbing P.R.'s right hand and twisting it into an arm-wringer so that he can take PRL over to his corner and make the tag to Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua snorts and then hits PRL's right arm with a double axehandle! Mr. B punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face! He does it a few more times and then scoops Tha Puerto Rican up. Bodyslam HARD onto the mat! Boricua then gives PRL a Splash! 1... 2... THE MAD CAPPA PULLS MR. BORICUA OFF OF THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE The Mad Cappa HELPING Tha Puerto Rican right there! I can't believe it! COACH Oh Cappa, look how far you've fallen. Cuban Wall protests Cappa's interference. Earl Hebner orders The Mad Cappa to go back to his corner. Cappa gladly obliges. Wall taunts Cappa as he walks back to his corner. COACH That's right! You go back to your corner! Cheater. Mr. Boricua yells at the crowd. He screams, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL kicks Boricua in the gut. PR punches Boricua in the face several times! But then Mr. Boricua chops PRL in the throat! COLE Now come on! That was a cheapshot! COACH No it wasn't. Boricua gives PRL an arm-drag! He then stomps on PR. Mr. B picks The P.R. Menace up and whips him into the ropes. Mr. Boricua goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, kicks Mr. Boricua in the gut, and gives him a double-armed DDT! COLE Double-armed DDT from The People's Champ! Vitamin X panics on the outside. Popick remains stoic. P.R. picks Boricua up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Mr. Boricua reverses--Mr. Boricua hits PR with a HARD clothesline! COLE And just like that, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are back in control! Boricua screams at the crowd. He picks PRL up. He places Puerto in a facelock, puts PR's left arm over his head, grabs his tights, and lifts him up, holding him in the air so that he can drop him stomach-first onto the top ring rope! Boricua then climbs the top rope and positions himself...then jumps off the top rope, hitting PRL in the back of the head with a kneedrop! COLE Such agility from the 6'9" 300 pound Mr. Boricua! COACH Not too many big men can do what he does! COLE No sir. PRL has crumbled onto the mat, so Mr. Boricua goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE--KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr. Boricua yells. He yells some more. Cuban Wall tells Mr. Boricua to do something. Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up and takes him over to The Lightning Crew corner. He makes the tag to Cuban Wall, and then holds PRL up so that Cuban Wall can kick PR in the stomach! Mr. Boricua kicks PRL in the stomach! Wall punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face several times. He then runs over and punches The Mad Cappa! Cappa quickly recovers and enters the ring, but is held back by Earl Hebner! While Cappa is being held back, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua double team on Tha Puerto Rican, punching him in the face repeatedly while Vitamin X cheers! COLE Now come on! That isn't right! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua double teaming Tha Puerto Rican while Earl Hebner is with The Mad Cappa! COACH Hey, if the referee didn't see it, it never happened. COLE Oh give me a break! This ain't right! The crowd boos loudly as Tha Puerto Rican crumbles down onto the mat! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua choke PRL with their boots! PRL gasps for air on the mat! COLE PRL being choked by two men he used to lead! Now, they're being led by that man, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion after the shocking events of three weeks ago! COACH And look at Popick. Just watching. Scouting his competition. And his competition ain't doing so well now! COLE PRL is in a bad way here. He AND Cappa have a World Title match in two weeks. COACH And if Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall keep this up, they won't make it to New Year's Spectacular! HA! HA! The Mad Cappa returns to his corner, so Earl Hebner sees Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall choking Tha Puerto Rican with their feet and orders them to stop. Mr. Boricua goes back to The Lightning Crew corner, while Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE PR hitting the floor with a sickening thud! Mr. Boricua jumps off the ring apron and grabs Tha Puerto Rican, so that he can lift him up and drop him face-first onto the barricade! Mr. Boricua yells. The Mad Cappa gets off the ring apron, but is too late. Cuban Wall exits the ring and heads on over to where Tha Puerto Rican is busy holding his jaw in pain. Wall grabs Puerto and gives him a headbutt! PRL stumbles, so Wall clotheslines the back of PRL's neck! COLE Just like three weeks ago! Cuban Wall clotheslined the back of PRL's neck, which is what started the beatdown that led to PRL and Colombian Heat reuniting! That is how it all started! COACH And now Cuban Wall is giving PRL flashbacks to that awful (great) event from three weeks ago! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is at the mercy of The Lightning Crew on the outside! Wall grabs P.R. and throws him back into the ring. Cuban Wall enters the ring, but then hears Vitamin X say, "BOO-YAH~!", so he walks over to Vitamin X and punches him in the jaw! VITAMIN X OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!? CUBAN WALL Stop saying 'BOO-YAH~!'! Cuban Wall turns and goes back into the ring. Vitamin X sticks his tongue out at Wall when he's not looking. COLE So Wall still punches Vitamin X in the jaw? COACH Yes, but it's out of love! COLE Right. Right. CW walks on over and makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up and holds him so that Mr. Boricua can kick Puerto in the stomach! COLE Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall in control for the majority of this contest. PRL and Mad Cappa having alot of difficulty handling the two big men, the two beasts of The Lightning Crew! COACH And this surprises you because...? Mr. Boricua gives PRL a snapmare takeover, and then applies a chinlock on him. COLE Mr. Boricua beating on his former leader. The man who has been in The Lightning Crew for the longest. Mr. Boricua was at one point in time, Tha Puerto Rican's bodyguard. But not anymore! COACH No. Now he's Popick's bodyguard! COLE And somehow that's even worse. COACH That's our World Champion you're talking about! How rude! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican. Mr. Boricua cinches the chinlock tight. He yells. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE This crowd trying to bring Tha Puerto Rican back to life! COACH It's not going to work! Suddenly, PRL starts shaking his fists. The crowd gets hotter. PRL gets to his left knee. Mr. Boricua is shocked. Cuban Wall tells Boricua to keep the chinlock locked on. PRL slowly gets to his feet. COLE You were saying? COACH There's no proof that it was the crowd's fault! COLE Yeah, but still... COACH No proof! I was right! COLE Oy. Tha Puerto Rican gets to a vertical base, still trapped in the chinlock. The crowd gets hotter and hotter. PR elbows Boricua in the gut! He does it again! And again! And again! And again! PRL escapes the chinlock and starts punching Mr. Boricua in the face! The crowd comes to life! PRL keeps on hitting Mr. Boricua in the face, dazing and confusing the big man. Cuban Wall, Popick, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug can only watch as PRL whips Mr. Boricua into the ropes--NO--Mr. Boricua reverses the Irish whip! Mr. Boricua goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, stops in his tracks, jumps up, grabs Mr. Boricua from behind, and gives him an Edge-O-Matic! COLE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! The Edge-O-Matic took all of the energy out of Tha Puerto Rican! So much so, that he collapses onto the mat! Both Mr. Boricua and Tha Puerto Rican lie on the mat fatigued! The Mad Cappa and Cuban Wall watch as Earl Hebner starts his 10 count. "1!" "2!" COLE Both Cappa and Cuban Wall want the tag! COACH Get up, Boricua! Get up! "3!" "4!" PRL starts moving. "5!" Mr. Boricua starts moving. "6!" COLE Both men making a move now! "7!" Mr. Boricua crawls to his corner. "8!" Tha Puerto Rican crawls to his corner. "9!" Mr. Boricua makes the tag to Cuban Wall. Just as Tha Puerto Rican makes the tag to The Mad Cappa! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And The Mad Cappa is finally back in this match! Cuban Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! The Mad Cappa fires with lefts and rights on the 6'7" former OAOAST 24/7 Champion! Meanwhile, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug grab Tha Puerto Rican and force him to the outside where they start stomping on him! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Tha Puerto Rican has been taken outside! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are doing a number on him! COACH AGAIN! This is great! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug lay into Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd boos loudly! But they start cheering when Colombian Heat runs down the entrance ramp--NO! Spanish Fly attacks Heat and starts beating on him on the entrance ramp! COLE Damnit! For the third week in a row, Spanish Fly has attacked Colombian Heat! And now, they are beating on each other on the entrance ramp! COACH Get him, Fly! Make The Lightning Crew proud! Spanish Fly stomps on Heat! He picks him up...and gets punched in the face! Colombian Heat fires with punches all over Spanish Fly's face! Back in the ring, Cuban Wall gives The Mad Cappa a big boot, which causes Cappa to stumble backwards into the ring ropes, which he gets tangled up in! COLE And oh no! Cappa is trapped! He is trapped in those ropes! COACH Heh. Cappa's doomed! Cuban Wall laughs evilly. He taunts Cappa, while The Mad One struggles to escape! On the outside, Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are brawling on the entrance ramp, while Vitamin X and The Bone Thug pummel Tha Puerto Rican! Stephen Joseph Popick remains stoic the entire time. COLE Things are breaking down here! We've got wrestlers fighting all over the arena! The Lightning Crew, The Badd Boyz, The Mad Cappa! They're all fighting! COACH And we still got a match! Look! Wall's got The Mad Cappa right where he wants him! Cuban Wall punches Cappa in the face several times. Wall then walks backwards into the opposite ropes. He yells, and then charges forward-- right into a kick by The Mad Cappa! COACH Oh no! Cappa kicks to break free...and does! The Mad Cappa charges forward with a flying clothesline knocking Cuban Wall down! Cappa goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Close call there! COACH Things are going wild here! As the fighting continues on the outside, on the inside, The Mad Cappa stomps on Cuban Wall. He picks Wall up and gives him a whip into the ropes--Cuban Wall reverses--Cappa bounces off the ropes. Lou Thesz Press! COLE Lou Thesz Press from The Mad Cappa! Cappa pummels Cuban Wall with rights! Mr. Boricua enters the ring. Cappa gets off of Wall and headbutts Mr. Boricua in the gut! He does it again! And again! Cuban Wall gets up and attacks The Mad Cappa from behind! Wall and Boricua double team on The Mad Cappa in the ring, while outside of the ring, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug continue assaulting Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Things are breaking down here in Fresno! Earl Hebner tries to stop the brawling inside of the ring, but can't, so he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (10:04) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE That's it! The match is over! COACH Aw! Weak! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua double team The Mad Cappa, while Vitamin X and The Bone Thug double team Tha Puerto Rican. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly fight up the entrance ramp, and soon disappear through the sliding doors. COLE It's a madhouse out here! A MADHOUSE! COACH There's fighting everywhere! I love it! The Mad Cappa fights back, going back and forth punching Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall! COLE Cappa's fighting back! Cappa's fighting back! COACH What!? No! No! No! No! No! Cappa gets Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall dazed and confused. Meanwhile, Vitamin X picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Suddenly, PRL springs to life hitting Vitamin X with a punch! PRL hits The Bone Thug with a punch! He hits Vitamin X with a punch! He hits The Bone Thug with a punch! COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican has come back to life! COACH NOOOOOOOOOO! Tha Puerto Rican goes back and forth! Bone Thug! VX! Bone Thug! VX! Bone Thug! VX! Bone Thug! VX! Tha Puerto Rican hits Vitamin X and The Bone Thug with Rock-style punches to the temple! Once both X and Bone Thug are stunned, PRL grabs them...and BUTTS THEIR HEADS TOGETHER! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE PRL knocks The Bone Thug and Vitamin X out with that move! COACH Not a bloody double noggin knocker! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug lay unconscious on the protective mats. PRL taunts them, and then enters the ring, where he joins The Mad Cappa in beating up Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! COLE I don't believe this! Cappa and PRL are teaming up AGAIN! COACH What's wrong with you guys! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! PR hammers on Mr. Boricua, while The Mad Cappa takes care of Cuban Wall! Stephen Joseph Popick looks on worried as he watches PR and Cappa take it to the two big men of The Lightning Crew! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are still knocked out on the outside! COLE Fans, we are out of time! Thank you for joining us here on HeldDOWN~! We'll see you next week with another live edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The final OAOAST HeldDOWN~! of 2007! For Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying so long and have a Merry Christmas! A Happy Chanukah! And a Happy Kwanza! Good night everybody! The Mad Cappa takes Cuban Wall to a turnbuckle corner and beats on him, getting Cuban Wall severely weakened. Tha Puerto Rican whips Mr. Boricua into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, and gives Mr. Boricua a Stinger Splash! The crowd cheers loudly. Stephen Joseph Popick freaks out on the outside, while Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are still knocked out on the outside. This is the last thing we see before we fade to black. 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Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2007 CREDITS 149 LunarPhoneix Alf KC EWC P'OG Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
