Zuh?

[vivalaultra 0]

So, something dreadfully odd just happened. Dreadfully odd. Last month (around the 17th of Nov.-whichever day 'No Country for Old Men' opened), my then-girlfriend/now-fiancee's car got stolen in broad daylight from the parking lot of our apartment complex. We filed a report, heard that we'd probably never see it again, spent much time wondering where it was, how many pieces it was in, etc. Fast forward to tonight:

 

We went over to her people's house for New Year's fajitas. I decide that we're gonna leave at about 10 so we can get home before the crazies get out and about. We get back to our apt. complex a little after 11. I can't find a spot to park on our side of the complex where I always park (it being New Year's and all), so we circle around to the other side where there are very few cars parked. As we're driving, I see a Nissan Sentra (same model as the stolen car) kinda jacknifed into a spot. I jokingly say to my sweetie, "Hey...there's your car." As we get closer to the car, I notice that it has no license plate. It also has three of four windows busted out and no rims. Also, it has all the same dents as her former car. Sure as shit, there's her car. Since we've never been the victims of autotheft and do not know the protocol, we call 911 and they send some dude over. We sit in my car next to her ex-car for about 30 minutes waiting, me hoping that the carjackers do not return to murder us and stuff. Anyway, cop gets there and I'm expecting him to go like all CSI and dust for prints and get DNA swabs and stuff, but he basically says there's nothing he can do, we all kinda chuckle and the oddness of the situation, he makes a recovery report and says that we could probably sell it for scrap. The car's totally stripped, too. Steering column ripped out with a t-shirt covering it up, glovebox ripped out, door panels, rims, stereo, gearshift, registration sticker, etc. So, we decide to have a closer look to see if any of her stuff is still in the car. She looks in the backseat and sees spilled laundry detergent and a pair of socks (possibly her socks). I say we should open the trunk, so we do. And we find (this is where it gets really, really weird)...

 

We find thousands of pairs of diapers. Not regular diapers, mind you, but adult diapers. ADULT DIAPERS. Like...for old people that shit on themselves. It would've been odd enough just to see her car that was stolen a month or so ago show up back at the place from which it was stolen, but when we found it it was full of adult diapers. So, at least now we know a few things about who stole the car:

 

Obviously, the theif was someone that lived in the same apt. complex as us. And obviously they had been driving it around, although this had to have been the first time they brought it back to the complex because I walk my dog daily on that side of the complex and I've never seen it; apparently the back driver's side tire had gone flat because they took the donut tire out of the trunk and put it on the car. And the thief is either an incontinent old man or is in cahoots with an incontinent old man, to which I attribute the adult diapers. I can't figure out which is more unsettling-that it's somebody that lives in the same complex as us (which means we can't put up flyers asking people to contact us if they have information about what happened) or the fact that the theif can't contain their bladder movements. Very odd way to start 2008. Very odd, indeed.