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Big Ol' Smitty

Ultimate TSM

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Ultimate TSM is a message board, featuring reimagined and updated versions of the board's most popular & beloved posters, including Vitamin X, King, Milky, Hoff, Kotzenjunge, The Czech Republic, alkeiper, King Kamala Classic, and Evander Holyfield's Missing Ear. The posters have new origins, freeing them from the sometimes convoluted back-histories of the original versions which were thought to turn off new posters unfamiliar with their extensive histories.

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My backstory is exactly the same, I'm still a skinny 24 year old from Kentucky. The only difference concerns my various nemeses.

 

a. Ultimate MikeSC still looks like Jack Black but is actually a cyborg programmed by Margaret Thatcher to hunt, destroy, maim, etc.

b. Ultimate Invader3K is a self-hating Mexican.

c. Ultimate Marvinisalunatic is a deranged railroad baron who has Glenn Beck podcasts piped directly into his head 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

d. Ultimate Czech Republic was a childhood friend whose outlook on how to fight crime sometimes differs, but sometimes we join together to defeat the evil Baron von Marvin.

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Guest Michael Myers Resplendent

If you hit back-back-back-block when Dames's head pops in the corner you can uppercut Jingus back into the pit.

 

Oh wait, I went with the wrong Ultimate.

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b. Invader3K is a self-hating Mexican.

 

I guess that means snuffbox is a staunch Republican, and C-bacon posts about how great the Bush administration is, even promising to move to the United States to enjoy our way of life.

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Guest Michael Myers Resplendent

Who else is gonna clean the resorts in Lake Geneva?

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Guest Michael Myers Resplendent

Carlito is neither violently black enough nor violently white enough to fit in anywhere in Milwaukee.

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Ultimate Matt Young bulks up not through an intense workout regimen and diet, but by ingesting Evander Holyfield's Missing Ear's jism. They're kinda like TSM's version of the Latino wonder twins on Heroes.

 

000_0135.jpg

Matt12-8005.jpg

 

+

 

2zgg6ev.jpg

 

=

 

MattAfter2.jpg

MattAfter6.jpg

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So wait, is this thread Ultimate TSM?

 

I'd say not. There's been some great threads in the history of TSM. Pics of Matt Young's legs? This ain't.

 

You can see how fucked up my knees are in that pic.

 

bigolsmitty you're a faggot. Why do you have a picture of Matt Young's underwear?

 

Those are shorts, pulled up.

 

Wow Matt actually looked better WITHOUT the small amount of muscle he put on.

 

That's the first time I've heard that. I looked sickly and anorexic. You could see all my ribs. I'm much healthier now, at any rate.

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I really wanted to see this go somewhere. And Penultimate TSM isn't faring much better, although that's bascially me conversing with myself. Still, with a name like "Ultimate TSM," I had hoped for so much more.

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