Rawknight 0 Report post Posted February 26, 2008 Fade the music in on chanting in Samoan... follwed by the distinctive rapping of Pacifika star King Kapisi Yo, yo! The revolution now has just begun! Bring out your generals yah, yah yah! C'mon! This goes out to all the South Pacific islands! All the South Pacific people! This goes out to each and every one worldwide! YO! SAMOA WE GOIN STOMPIN! (Stompin with my big island agendas) AOTEAROA WE GOIN STOMPIN! (Stompin with my big island agendas) OUT IN FIJI WE GOIN STOMPIN! (Stompin with my big island agendas) STOMPIN! (You must be super cool to be down for you now!) And the static on the screen fades into the man, the myth, DA MAORI, Va'aiga! The music lowers so you can hear the shouting... not that you couldn't hear it anyway. But let's make it loud and clear so the targets get the full earful of Maori... Va'aiga: 2nd MIGRATION! AOTEAROA REPRESENT! PACIFIKA REPRESENT! MAORI BADASS IN THE HOUSE ONE MORE TIME! Va'aiga tones his voice down a little, back to a sort of menacing tone so his targets get a fair idea of what may well happen to them. Va'aiga: Let's get to bidness. See people have been talking about the big success story of '08 – El Hombre Sin Nombre. Winner of the Clusterfuck in his debut. Possible future world champ. A man who could go all the way to the TOP. And that's cool. Fresh faces, fresh meat. More ass to whoop. But there's one small, one tiiiiiiiny thing bothering the Maori. See the H to the S to the N, the Pakeha Kore Tau has got a tiny little bit of explaining to do. Credit HAS to be given where it's due. And where credit is due is to Da Maori. Let's shape up a clip... --- Just as Jenkins hooks the Mexican rookie for a suplex Va’aiga realizes what’s going on. He runs into the ropes, bounces back doing his best "unstoppable force" imitation as he targets both of his opponents. Spike lifts El Hombre in the air only a split second before both of them are clobbered by the OH MY GOD YOU JUST KILLED KENNY, SPENNY, LENNY AND BENNY, NOW YOU’RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAAATOOOOOOOO!!!!! "Holy crap! He took them both out!" Mak yelps as Va’aiga crashes into both men with so much force even the guy in the last row felt it. "NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is going to get up from this, ladies and gentlemen let me make a bold prediction: this match is over!" King exclaims. The Mighty Maori has both men covered as the referee goes down to count. … "COUNT!" Mak yells when the referee hesitates. Va’aiga looks at the referee and his murderous intentions are clearly written across his face. The referee tries to save his own hide by pointing out the fact that the impact knocked everyone so close to the ropes that Va’aiga is half way under the bottom rope. The angry Maori gets up, grabs the referee and starts to inform him that he shouldn’t be such a stickler for the rules. ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! *DING!!* DING!!* DING!!* DING!!* "What the hell?" King blurts out as the bell rings. Va’aiga whips around and stares at the two men on the canvas, neither of them have moved since he hit them with the lariat but one of them was laying half way on top of the other one. Then he stares at the other referee that counted to three behind his back "Oh don’t tell me, you’re not saying that… " Mak can’t complete the sentence, it’s unthinkable. The referee that counted to three bends over, grabs and arm and raises the winner of the Clusterf*ck in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen" Funyon starts, sounding totally dumbfounded "Apparently the winner of the Clusterf*ck 2008" Funyon pauses again to make sure he’s understood it correctly "EL HOMBRE SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN NOMBRE!!!" --- Va'aiga: Oh boy. Someone profited on a Lariat. Someone who wasn't ME profited on a Lariat. Now I like you Hombre. I like you enough that I haven't ripped your head off, boiled it up and served it to my family for the mana. But next time we meet you have precisely 30 seconds to explain why I shouldn't whoop your miserable ass all the way from NYC to Cali and back just for the sheer hell of it. That's gonna be an interesting conversation. Think. Think HARD about what you're gonna say to The Maori. Cos I would NOT want to be you if you get it wrong. Been four years since I last had to Stinger someone, after all... The Maori pauses for a drink of water. Va'aiga: So I'm in a bad mood. And when I'm in a bad mood MOTHERFUCKERS GET HURT. And when I'm in a bad mood it would be really bad to be booked against me in say... A BURNING TABLES MATCH! It would be really bad if you were say... a fellow luchador. Oh BOY IL are you in some shit now. IL you've got heart. You've got spirit. You've got talent. And thanks to Maddix you've got a death warrant hanging over your head. So let me apologise in advance for COOKING YOU LIKE A BEEF JOINT IN A PIT. Ain't nothing personal. It's just the way I like to relieve some tension from my system. I'll say that again. Ain't nothing personal. While the EMTs are pouring water over you to put you out – It's nothing personal. While you're lying half conscious backstage getting your body bandaged up – Ain't nothing personal. While you wait in hospital while the docs check you out to see if you're fit to be released – Ain't nothing personal. Every time you turn to the mirror and check out the scarring – Ain't nothing personal. Don't blame the Maori for what's going to happen to you. Blame Maddix. Blame El Hombre. Blame the lust for violence amongst the wrestling fans. Hell blame yourself for being dumb enough to turn up. But keep this one fact in your mind. Cripsy fried Luchador heads the Menu at From the Fire. And there's one Badass Maori chef servin' it up! BOO-YAH! And as the Maori fades out the Samoan chanting starts up again along with the playout sound... Revolution.. The revolution has now just begun The revolution.. has now just be.. just be, just be-be begun The revolution.. has now just begun The revolution.. has now just begun Begun... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted February 26, 2008 Good stuff as always. Card at his best when he brings the ranting Maori. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
