Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2008 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory brings us to another episode of HeldDOWN on our road to Anglemania! It turns out Chamillionaire's CD has sold like 180,000 copies! In case you were wondering that ain't shit! Nigga you ain't got a moms or a bro or an agent who's willing throw down some duckets? You can't even buy an extra one for yourself??? Into the Pepsi Center we go where we stop nobody knows. Hey, wait, a second I do! We stop right on the greatest announce team in e-biz, Double C. Sitting in the plush confines of sofa central, they both sport the official Anglemania football jerseys. Cole continues to look like a herb as he rocks the Offical Anglemania football helmet, practice pads and mouth guard. COLE Folks, I'm Michael Cole here at ringside with The Coach for another edition of HeldDOWN! We come to you from Denver, Colorado and we are only two weeks away from the biggest show in history Anglemania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! But tonight in our mainevent Los Angeles native Krista Isadora Duncan will finally get her chance to battle Theodore Moneymaker in no disqualification match! And I'll be joining the audience in rooting on Krista, that's for sure! COACH The only thing you can join is hands with another man in holy matrimony you bucket head bitch. I slap the Pom-Poms out your bitch hands and have you pick it up and do three cheers for The Enterprise! Hip-hip-you're gay! COLE I know you insult because you love. Also The Love Doctors have earned their way onto the big show to battle The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Sandman teams with Team Heyross to face Alfdogg and The Heavenly Rockers, Jock Mulligan battles Christian Wright, and Vitamin X looks to recover from a loss to The Love Doctors against his old running buddy, and number one contender to the world title, Tha Puerto Rican in a street fight! There's big fallout from last week's awesome torneo cibernetico as well. Todd Cortez has his chance to pick his own match as a result of his win... COACH Over the man who's coattails he rode to moderate fame! God damn, you don't see Rick Fox up on TV trying to son the greatest negro dead or alive, Kobe “Bean” Bryant do you? The role player has to have respect for what the superstar brung him. You know what Todd Cortez is without Landon Maddix carrying him on his back? He's the skinny Mexican doing the job to Vinny on Syndicated. I'ma son the life out that bustah next time I see him. COLE Yeah, right, and Jumbo's about to be the blushing bride of Patrick Dempsey. Folks the OAOAST Spinebuster to last weeks Torneo Cibernetico, which is available to watch in its entirety on OAOAST.com And now, the OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK, presented by Beauty Crush, the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! ONE WEEK AGO As Faqu leaves the ring seemingly to check Blonde is okay, Christian Wright quickly comes in and takes over. Hooking up the head, Wright hangs Jock up across the top rope...and whips him down with the CONVERSION RATE!! COACH How's that for a texas twister? Cover by CW... 1... 2... 3!!! BUFFER Jock Mulligan has been eliminated! "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits and the crowd goes crazy for Jock Mulligan. Well, at least the women and teenage girls do. The Texas Twister in no mood for hand slaps this evening, marching straight down the aisle with a look of determination on his face. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by fellow Lone Star Gunslinger Baron Windels and Melody Nerdly…from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 232 pounds… “THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jock slams his jacket down on the arena floor and signals for his opponent to come on out. COLE The Texas Twister still livid over his elimination by Christian Wright last week on the program. He so badly wanted to win the TC as did everyone involved in the bout. COACH You think Jock wanted it bad, apparently Baron wanted it worse. I mean to let your own partner be eliminated while you just stood on the apron and watch? Even I wouldn’t do that to you, Cole. I’d make we’d both survive so I could be the one to eliminate you! COLE That’s one of the most asinine things I’ve ever heard. I won’t even dignify it with a response. While silence falls over Sofa Central, the arena begins rocking with the music of ZZ Top and their hit “Sharp Dressed Man” for the arrival of Christian Wright, Mackenzie DeCenzo and CPA. BUFFER His opponent, now residing in Washington D.C. and representing THE ENTERPRISE! He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Greeted rudely by the OAOAST faithful on hand, Christian Wright swaggers out with his trusty briefcase close at his side and under the protection of his employer’s burly Director of Security, CPA, who shields the Natural and Mackenzie DeCenzo from possible contact with fans as they head ringside. Upon entering the ring Wright is pounced on by Jock! COACH Hey! * DINGDINGDING * Jock slams Christian on the mat and drops the big leg, but rather than go for the cover he mounts over Wright and hammers away with closed fists. Mackenzie DeCenzo screams at referee Nick Patrick to do his job and get Jock off CW. When he tries Jock takes a swing at him! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Just when Nick Patrick is about to warn Jock about his aggressive behavior he sees the look in his eyes and smartly decides to let it go. COLE Holy cow! Jock Mulligan is a man possessed. I don’t remember seeing him like this before. COACH Even though he’s wrestling CW, right now he sees Baron in there with him. COLE Will you stop with that! You’ll be lucky if the Lone Star Gunslingers don’t come looking for you once the match is over. Jock’s minor confrontation with the official buys Christian enough time to regroup and remove his red polyester jacket, which he uses to clothesline the Texas Twister! Wright smashes Mulligan into the buckle and stuffs his tie in Jock’s mouth before delivering a series of punishing European uppercuts. Now in control Wright makes sure to have some fun with the Gunslinger, slapping him upside the head insultingly, then whips him across…but Jock reverses and BAAAAAAAACK body drops CW out of the corner! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Texas Twister measures Wright and drills him with his signature RUNNING BUTT THUMP!! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! This could do it! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Mulligan signals out Baron with a quick thumbs up as he ascends to the top…ONLY TO SLIP AND FALL HARD!!! COACH Did you see that?! COLE See what? COACH Baron shook the rope and caused Jock to fall. COLE He did not! Mackie and Christian have a good laugh at Mulligan’s expense, and then it’s back to business as CW puts the boots to the shaken Gunslinger. Wright brings his opponent up to a vertical base and levels him with a SUPERKICK! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! CW’s not through with Jock yet. He taunts Baron and Melody before spiking their friend into the canvas with a vicious PILEDRIVER! COLE Nick Patrick ought to seriously consider ending the damn match. Wright could have picked up the victory seconds ago, but now he’s trying to injury this young man for no good reason. COACH Jock’s the one who demand the match. I guess that falls into the category of be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Mulligan’s scooped up and dropped throat-first on the top rope, his almost lifeless body crumbling to the mat. BARON The Natural dares Baron to step in, but Melody pleads with him not to. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” JOCK COACH What a great shot that is. The light’s are on, but nobody’s home! At the urging of Melody, Baron tosses in Jock’s white jacket to end the match. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Finally some common sense being shown around here. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Baron Windels has opted to end the match since Jock Mulligan can no longer defend himself. Therefore, here is your winner… "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! Mackie raises CW’s hand in triumph as the crowd lets him and Baron know how they feel. "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” COLE The fans don’t agree with Baron’s decision, but it was the right move. Jock’s career was not only on the line but so was his well being. He’s gotta have a concussion. COACH For the second week in a row Jock’s so called partner has screwed him. COLE I’m cutting you off right here. You’ve been WAY over the line tonight. Jock’s health is the most important thing at this time. We’ll try to get word on his condition before we go off the air. If not, be sure to visit OAOAST.com for more on that. And while you're on our web site be sure to join OAOAST legends James Cone and Ragdoll who list their top three title matches in Anglemania history! As for us, we'll be right back with more HeldDOWN! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2008 (edited) HeldDOWN returns to an outside shot of the arena, with Cole speaking over it. COLE (V.O.) Folks, welcome back to OAOAST HeldDOWN on this road to Anglemania! The biggest show of the year keeps on getting bigger and bigger with matches being announced every week. The newest contest sees the Burrough Boys against ThunderKid, Reject and two unknown partners. Standing backstage with the Burrough Boys is Josh Matthews. Josh? JOSH I'm backstage here with the Burrough Boys, and Mariano, at AngleMania VII, the four of you will compete in an eight-man tag match. Problem is, you still don't know yet who two of your opponents are! MARIANO It ain't a problem for us, baby. When you got a tight-knit unit like we got here, you can throw any four guys out there, it don't matter one bit. JOSH And of course, one of those opponents wil be your former mentor, Reject. What goes through your mind as you step into the ring with him for the first time? Luther starts to speak, but Waldo steps in. WALDO We ain't forgot about the way he did us over the last few months! And we gonna get that chump back at AngleMania! LUTHER *shoves Waldo back* Shut up, man! He was askin' me. Luther turns to Josh. LUTHER We ain't forgot about the way he did us over the last few months. And we gonna get that chump back...at AngleMania. As Quincy starts to speak, Waldo shoves Luther in the back. QUINCY You expectin' us to be all emotional back here or somethin? This is war, baby. We got revenge on our mind. And AngleMania will be the place of redemption. JOSH OK, that's the Burrough Boys, back to you guys! COLE Thanks Josh. All of our matches at Anglemania are huge, but one of the biggest ones will see James Cone, a three time tag team champion, face off against Jester. To give you a greater insight into the mind of the Lunar Phoneix we've put together this video. FADE UP: A small hometown gym in Columbia, SC. The mom and pop kind of place that smells like piss and sweat. Old weight machines and a crappy aerobics area with busted mirrors. And pacing around is a familiar figure: James Cone, the “Lunar Phoenix”. PHOENIX (Voice Over) You take risks in this business. It’s part of the game. FLASHES OF: Spider-Poet flipping over ropes, taking chair shots, suplexes and other dangerous moves. Slow-mo of Jester dropping Phoenix on his head just a few weeks ago. PHOENIX (VO) But sometimes guys come along who aren’t really here for the game. JESTER and JOBBS grinning maniacally, from their AngleTron video PHOENIX (VO) People who just want to cause pain and suffering, end careers. SCREEN GOES BLACK with a BASS DROP PHOENIX (VO) But they don’t count on guys like me. SP charges, and the Devilman was ready, catching SP with both hands around his neck. JINGUS lifts him up and delivers a devastating Powerbomb. SP hits the mat and bounces from that one, and quickly scrambles for the ropes, trying to get to his feet. Jingus is there, and he gives SP no leeway. Over in their corner, Eskimo has dragged the ladder over, and propped it in the corner. Jingus makes use of it, hauling SP to his feet and whipping him right INTO THE LADDER. SP hits it hard and slumps against it, trying to gather his wits. JINGUS charges, but SP thinks fast and rolls to the mat, locks up Jingus's ankle, and sends Jingus FACE FIRST into the LADDER~! Jingus rebounds up and stumbles backwards, and SP tries to score again, charging at the big man. Jingus locks his arms around him, twists and throws SP back with a quick BELLY TO BELLY. SP LANDS UPSIDE DOWN ON THE LADDER, and falls off awkwardly to the mat. Eskimo from the outside lands a few choice boots to SP through the ropes, causing Poet to roll back towards the middle of the ring, where Jingus is waiting with a few kicks of his own. He picks SP up to his feet and whips him to the corner, charging behind him for a clothesline, but SP ducks out of the corner. Jingus puts on the brakes, but SP is behind him, and he wraps his arms around him. GERMAN SUPLEX~! COLE OH MY GOSH! I DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE Poet throws the steps over the ropes, forcing them down so they effectively pin Jingus in his awkward position between the ring and the cell wall. Spidey grins with a demented glee as he goes over and picks up the ladder. He again goes over to the side where Jingus has been perhaps severely hurt and pinned down by the steel steps. Poet lowers the bottom of the ladder down, setting the bottom rung against Jingus's neck. Poet leans the ladder back as far as he can and PULLS THE TOP ROPE IN AROUND THE TOP OF THE LADDER! JINGUS CAN'T MOVE! The rope is forcing the ladder into place! COACH POET IS TRYING TO KILL HIM! COLE To borrow from JR, SOMEBODY STOP THE MATCH! Look at the way JINGUS is twisted down there! He could be horribly injured! Poet turns his attention back behind him, where Dandy is mounted atop Eskimo, slamming him with lefts and rights. Poet turns just as Eskimo lands a hard forearm of his own, and another to knock Dandy off of him. Poet is there to start to pick Eskimo up, but Eskimo hits him in the gut and gets himself to his feet. He grabs SP by the hair and the tights and throws him through the ropes to the outside. Eskimo looks PISSED as blood can be seed around his eyes where skin peeks out from his mask. He's on the hunt for Dandy, who is on his feet waiting for him. The two stare at each other, coming forehead to forehead. Eskimo pushes Dandy back and Dandy answers with a right, which Eskimo answers with a right hand of his own and the two are SLUGGING IT OUT. On the outside, SP is on his knees, looking around. Hitting the cage cut him open in a few places and his face has streaks of dripping blood. He touches his wounds and looks at his bloodied fingers, mulling this over. Finally, he looks to the cage itself and seems to be formulating something. Poet pulls himself to his feet and begins climbing up the side of the cage! In the ring, Eskimo snags Dandy and fires him off into the ropes, and scores a boot to the stomach on the return. Eskimo moves behind him and hits a GERMAN SUPLEX on Dandy . . . and rolls over and up for ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX ON DANDY . . . . and rolls over and up for ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX ON DANDY! The crowd is on fire now, and Eskimo looks up to see SpiderPoet hanging from the top of the cage, slowly swinging his way towards the door in the center! He cuts Dandy loose and runs over to where the rope is holding the ladder in position, pinning JINGUS to the FLOOR! Eskimo struggles with the rope, but finally pushes it off the ladder. He pulls the ladder in and barrels through the ropes to the outside to move the ring steps. He checks on Jingus and . . . it looks like Jingus is more PISSED OFF than HURT. The Devilman roars to life, getting to his feet and sliding under the ropes. He is on his feet in the ring just as SP unlocks the cage door! SP had been hanging on to the door itself, and it swings open with him still attached! JINGUS, still the legal man, reaches up to grab SP's foot, but SP kicks his hand away as he maneuvers around the door to get to the opening. His arms seem to be straining from the climbing and hanging on, and his fingers look a little bloody from holding on to the wire mesh so tightly. JINGUS GRABS HIS FOOT AS HE SWINGS AROUND, AND SP IS IN TROUBLE! Jingus holds on and yanks on SP's leg, but Poet holds on with all he has and gets a hand OVER THE TOP! He grabs onto the cage and pulls so hard with Jingus still attached that a sickening crack can be heard AS HIS LEG DISLOCATES FROM HIS HIP! Jingus was pulled up enough that he has ahold of the cage door, and the Devilman makes the top of the cage sag in as he begins hauling himself up! Up top, SP cannot get to his feet, his leg refusing to work for him. The superhuman, adrenaline funded move has taken so much out of him, and when he dislodges his fingers from the cage, blood runs down his hands. He sees JINGUS'S arm swing over the top of the cell and the big man's head emerges through the doorway, with a MURDEROUS look in his eyes. SP shakes his head no and with his good leg kicks stiff and hard. Jingus keeps coming, and SP kicks him again, and again, and again, and finally the DEVILMAN LETS GO and FALLS BACK TO THE RING BELOW, winded, hurt, and his injuries finally catching up with his adrenaline. Eskimo is on the move now, pulling the ladder up to try and head off SP himself, but Dandy is there. Dandy whirls Eskimo around and slams him hard with a right hand and a stiff boot to the gut. Dandy leans in, and picks Eskimo up onto his shoulders! El Dandy to the corner now, hoisting himself and Eskimo up to the second rope – SUPER ELDANDYNATOR FROM THE SECOND ROPE AND ESKIMO IS HURT. COLE WHATAMANEUVER! COACH SP's trying to get to his FEET! THIS MAY BE OVER! Up top, SP is on one knee, his lame, dislocated leg dragging behind him. He pushes himself up, swaying madly to retain his balance. He can't do it though, and tumbles forward but HE SNAGS THE BELTS ON THE WAY DOWN, using his momentum to rip their fasteners apart and away from the silver ring they were suspended from. Poet tumbles forward and sprawls across the opening. Down below, he can see Dandy smiling as the crowd goes absolutely nuts with cheers and boos and applause for what they just witnessed! Poet pushes himself up and drops one belt down to El Dandy, who stands over what appears to be an unconscious Jingus. Dandy catches the belt and motions for his partner to come down, and SP obliges. He swings his lame leg down, followed by his good one, and drops the tag title belt to the canvas before lowering himself down the cage door. A little lower now, SP swings his legs forward and lets go, and bumps on his back. Dandy is there to check on him as the paramedics rush down to the ring while the cell begins to raise. SP nods that he's alright and Dandy helps him sit up. Black Widow is at ringside now, and she slides in under the ropes despite paramedics trying to keep her away. She hugs SP and kisses his bloody cheek. Beside him, El Dandy raises his belt in victory, as Widow stands and raises Poet's hand holding his belt. WHITE FLASH back to the little crappy gym, where Phoenix is pulling himself up for the hundredth time, the hood of his “BURN BRIGHT” sleeveless hoodie hanging low over his brow as we track in on his intense face. PHOENIX (VO) Guys like me. FADE TO BLACK… Edited March 22, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2008 COLE And what a mammoth match that is going to be! James Cone one on one with Jester in Stairway to Oblivion II at Anglemania! If that's not enough to get you to order, then I don't know what will be! I personally can not wait for that one! (see what you ppl have made me do, u have made me write this filler match) "Dani California" beats its away into the arena to signal the arrival of James Riggs! Absent his valet, Staci, Riggs is hit with a small smattering of jeers from the capacity crowd. Riggs is all smiles however, flashing those pearly whites into the camera as he bounces back and forth on the entrance stage. BUFFER Introducing first...He hails from Torrence, California. Weighing in tonight at two hundred, thirty two pounds... the iconic leader of the JR Nation... this is JJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMEEEEEEEESSSS... RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! COLE Our regular viewers of Syndicated are very familiar with James Riggs, but its been a while since he's been on the big show. Here's his chance to start reestablishing his name in our fan's minds. COACH James Riggs! Movie Star! COLE What? COACH Movie star! Don't you know anything? The guy's the glue that holds films from Uzbekistan to Estonina together! Without him to play second army grunt, or third audience member from the left in the fourth row, international film would fall apart! His willingness to work for peanuts, actual literal peanuts, for ten to forty seconds of screen time, with the possibility that his face may not be obscured, keeps the international film industry alive! COLE Yeah...... BUFFER And his opponent from Blandsown, USA, he is JIM BOB! Jim Bob, the blandest looking wrestler you can ever imagine, flexes his thin pasty white physique for the audience. DING DING DING Riggs pounces on Jim Bob with a pair of jabs. After weakening the jobber with those punches he throws him into the ropes. But Bob returns fire with a forearm smash and knocks the arrogant superstar over. Angered, Riggs kips back up, but is caught into an arm wringer by Bob. That hold doesn't last very long before Riggs upends him with a fireman's carry. Bob is quickly back to his feet, but gets caught into a rear waist lock from his foe. He's lifted into the air then brought down on his stomach courtesy an amateur style takedown! Riggs then swings in front of Bob and traps him into a grounded front facelock. COACH I think the role that's been a testament to James Riggs' career was when he played fourth white invader from the left in the Bollywood picture Money Hai to Honey Hai. The strength he delivered that performance with was similar to Burt Reynolds in Deliverance. Bob is able to fight to his feet, but still has the problem of the front facelock being locked in on. He tries to punch his way free, but Riggs' hold remains tight. Thus he tries a flashier way out, and lifts Riggs up for an inverted atomic drop! Landing testicle first across Bob's knee, Riggs is forced to shatter his hold and attend to his beef n gravy. COACH You can't do that! Riggs has a ten second nude scene in the gay Pakistani melodrama Ugly Aur Pagli next week! Enraged Riggs charges Bob, but is taken over with a drop toe hold! Bob hastily scurries to Riggs' side and traps him into a side headlock. But his hold isn't held for more then a few seconds before, Riggs powers free. Both wrestlers head to their feet, but its JR who strikes first, by nailing Bobby boy in the midsection with his knee. With JB doubled over in agony, Riggs heads to the ropes. Upon his return he flashes his knee forward, and it connects solidly with Bob's nose. Bobby boy is thrown upright and staggers back in total agony. COACH Molly Nerdly, who worked as a PA on the Costa Rican film Aura Frirar Del Mar, said he played the best rotting corpse in the burnt out hospital she has ever seen in her three years in film. Trying to regain his lost momentum Bob rushes Riggs with a lariat, but Riggs charges forward as well. He stuns Bob by dropping to the ground and rolling forward. Without a chance to defend himself, Bob is blasted over by the Rolling Koppou (Wheel) Kick! COLE That's his move! As Bob lies motionless on the canvas, Riggs hooks his leg for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! THREE! Acting like he just captured a world title, Riggs throws his hands into the air and sinks down to his knees. Tears of joy pour down his face, while the audience just stares at him as though he were totally insane. COLE Well and impressive victory for James Riggs, showing up on HeldDOWN for the first time in months! Folks, we will return with more HeldDOWN after this! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2008 (edited) COMMERCIAL COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN everyone on this road to Anglemania! Right now Terry Taylor is standing backstage with The Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker! Terry? As promised we're brought into the OAOAST interview lounge, a super cool spot outfitted with a variety of games such as pool and air hockey, and who's walls are lined with videoscreens that show various sporting events from around the country. In the middle of this area is the much less cool, Terry Taylor, attired in khaki pants and and a red Anglemania polo. TERRY Terry Taylor, standing backstage with The Billion Dollar heir Theodore Moneymaker, who has a big no disqualification match coming up in tonight's mainevent with Krista Isaodra Duncan. Now, you know tha- MONEYMAKER Terry Taylor, were you an educated man you wouldn't be wasting your days playing the fall guy for Krista's hackneyed jokes. But even a dope like you must be familiar with the story of the Pharaoh, God, and the Israelites of Egypt. But, the viewing audience, they who slavishly piss away brain wells watching men like me get money, instead of going out and getting some for themselves, are even bigger dullards then you! Their brains are rotten to their very core, and the only knowledge they seem to know is Melody Nerdly's bra size, and well, Melody Nerdly's bra size. BWAHHAHAHA! So, I will enlighten them on this classic story. Plagues. You know what a plague is, Terry. Correct? Terry nods. MONEYMAKER God plagued Pharaoh and his land for not letting the Israelites go free with the first of ten disasters. One day the Pharaoh strolled down to the beach for whateve reason, a tan, to relax, to marvel in the beautiful Egyptian sun. Whatever. But oh shit, Terry Taylor, oh shit indeed. All the water in the Nile had turned to blood! Dark, warm, crimson goo. The kind we see whenever someone takes a steel chair to another's head. The color of violence. Why? Why? Why? That's what Pharaoh is asking himself. Why is there blood in my water?! Why are my people dying of thirst?! He sought counsel from his priest and the soothsayers, but before they could figure it out swarms of frogs hopped out of the water and ran into their homes. Into the homes of the people of Egypt. Into their mixing bowls, bed sheets, drawers, clothes. Frogs everywhere, Terry. Disgusting, vile, horrid beings. Maybe Pharaoh found Kermit in his headdress or maybe the legs in his frog leg soup jumped onto his cobb salad. Whatever the case was, Pharaoh said enough was enough! The Israelites can get the fuck out! Moneymaker pauses for dramatic emphasis. MONEYMAKER Bu then god hardens pharaoh's heart again, and suddenly the Israelites were again trapped in an unwelcoming land. But now the dusk of Egypt turned to flies. Yes, turned to flies, the air filled with menaces thousands of times more worse then frogs. Imagine your home, your office, your favorite restaurant invaded by an endless army of flies! All that buzzing and those horrible sounds, and bug spray won't be invented 4000 years yet! And then...darkness for only three days straight! Yes, Terry, only darkness. Think about it, if you will. Not a light to call your own. No soft comforting glow of the television to lull you to sleep. Not even a flashlight. Poor old Pharaoh just sitting there on the throne with darkness wondering how its all going to end. The last plague is the worst one. Because that's the one that messes up our ideas about love and god. The first born of every family in Egypt killed while they're all asleep. You're the oldest child? Tough luck kid, you're dead, no questions asked. Pharaoh's son dies to, his heir, his pride and joy, sweet innocent little boy. We reap what we sow in this world and even in the bible's fantasy world. Did Pharaoh get what he deserved? In God's eyes I suppose so. But what about Abdul the farmer? His cattle dead, his only child gone, his wife ruined by lesions all because of someone else. What about people who reap what they don't sow in our world? Ethnic cleansing, babies addicted to crack, rapes, discrimination, causalities of war? What about them, Terry Taylor? What about those who just happened to be in the way of the ultimate plan? Why do I ask you this? Why do I tell you this story at all? TERRY Because you're God punishing Krista, the Pharaoh, and the innocents hurt in the crossfire are Jade, Maya, and Leon? MONEYMAKER Such a simple, poorly thought answer. Were you even listening to a word that came from my mouth? In this sad pathetic world we toil in I am God to all things, but in that story I am the Pharaoh, and Krista my sweet Israelite. My horrors perpetrated against her were too much for God to stomach. I have sipped cups of blood, I've walked the streets with amphibians, I've watched my world fill with the black abyss of thousands of flies, then I've watched my world fill with the infinite black of total darkness, and with a heart blacker then that darkness I've buried my first born. Yet, will I cower before threats? Be bullied into letting up on Krista? No. Not at all. The destruction of Krista, for which I have longed is at hand! Tonight you will witness the opening scene of Krista's final act in the OAOAST. BWHAHAHAHAHA! Still laughing to himself Moneymaker departs, leaving Terry to shake his head. We go back to sofa central where Coach is doing a rather poor job of imitating Moneymaker. COLE Alright, well, we're going to see just how accurate Moneymaker's promise is in tonight's mainevent. He gets his chance to face down his greatest rival and hand her only her third loss in three years. Now, Krista's opponent for Anglemania will be her fellow Los Angeles native, Alix Maria Spezia! And fans I know how much you all love Alix's Anglemania poster. Well, here's your chance to ride the half pipe with it, as we've slapped on a skateboard, COLE Yes, that's right, folks, the official Anglemania skateboard, your's for only one hundred seventy five dollars at OAOAST.com! Folks, we'll be back with more after this! COMMERCIAL Edited March 22, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 We return from our commercial break to multi colored spotlights hanging over the arena. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Heart-Shaped Box plays, as The Heavenly Rockers make their way out, accompanied by Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. COLE Here come the World tag team champions, set for six-man action tonight! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing the first team, at a combined weight of 672 pounds...first...COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY in association with HOLLY-WOOD present the OAOAST World tag team champions, and the greatest Rock 'N' Wrestling band of ALL TIME...THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEAVENLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSS!!!!! COLE And of course, the Heavenly Rockers will defend those titles against Team Heyross at AngleMania VII! Team Heyross also a part of this match, and already holds a victory over the champs, in the Anderson Cup tournament! COACH Yeah, but I got a feeling that AngleMania VII is going to hold some sweet revenge for the Heavenly Rockers! The Rockers climb into the ring, as Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg walks through the curtains, to the boos of the crowd. COLE And here comes their partner! BUFFER And their tag team partner...he is a former three-time heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE And I'm surprised Alf failed to break out the Red Sox jersey for the occasion! COACH Are you kiddin'? Alf wouldn't be caught dead reppin' any team from Boston! Alf walks to the ring, rolls inside, and poses on the buckles. He then gives high fives to the Rockers, as Shine by Collective Soul hits, and Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin are met with the cheers of the crowd. BUFFER Their opponents...at a combined weight of 705 pounds...Introducing first, the 2008 Anderson Cup champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And listen to the ovation for the Anderson Cup champions, as they make their way to the ring! Moss and Benjamin pose on the buckles, as the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER And their partner...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSANNNNNNNNND!!!!! Sandman slides into the ring, and rips the bandanas off. Moss and Benjamin pat him on the back, as the crowd goes crazy. COLE This place is electric right now! What a match this is going to be! Both teams huddle up, then step out, leaving Logan Mann and Quentin Benjamin in the ring. *DING DING DING* COLE And it'll be Logan "Usher" Mann, starting it off with Quentin Benjamin! Logan and Benjamin tie up, and Logan backs Benjamin into the ropes. Logan breaks slowly, but gets in a shot to the gut. Logan attempts an Irish whip, but Benjamin reverses. He drops down, then Moss climbs into the ring and leapfrogs Logan, and Logan comes back and gets caught in a double hiptoss! Moss and Benjamin then both drop elbows on Logan! COLE And some nice teamwork here by Team Heyross! Alf and Synth hop into the ring, and are met with dropkicks from Sandman and Moss, respectively! Benjamin then waits on Logan, and hits a third dropkick, sending him to the floor along with his partners! COLE And the team of Sandman and Team Heyross on a roll here! The Rockers regroup with Alf and the Colonel, then Logan rolls back into the ring, this time with Moss. Logan positions himself so that the referee is directly in between him and Moss, then jumps around him and delivers a foot to the gut. COACH Smart move there by Logan, using the referee kind of like a fort until the time was right! Logan hammers away on the back of Moss, then backs him into a corner and delivers right hands. He goes for an Irish whip, but Moss reverses, and catches Logan with a backdrop! Moss follows with a clothesline, then stops to go after Synth, who was stepping through the ropes, and gets nailed from behind by Logan! COLE And some more distractionary tactics from the Heavenly Rockers, now looking to take control of this match in the early going! Logan tags in Synth, and the two whip Moss across and catch him with a double elbow! Synth covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Synth tags in Alf, who sets up Moss in the corner and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! A third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then makes his way over to Benjamin on the apron, drawing the referee towards him, as Logan wraps the tag rope around the throat of Moss! COLE And now look at this! Come on, ref! Benjamin tries to point out the infraction to the referee, to no avail. Logan removes the rope, and Alf returns to deliver some more punishment. He whips Moss into the ropes, and tries a clothesline, but Moss ducks, and attempts a reverse sunset, but Alf grabs the ropes to block! Alf points to his head, because, you see, he's really smart. Not smart enough, however, to avoid the superkick that hits him when he turns around! COLE Alf was celebrating his feat, and it cost him! Alf tags out to Synth, as Moss tags Benjamin. COACH Very unlike Alf to make a mistake such as that, but luckily he landed in his corner! Benjamin and Synth circle the ring, and Benjamin grabs a side headlock. Synth backs him into the ropes, and shoves him off. Synth drops down, then gets up. Benjamin leapfrogs him, then catches him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin goes back to the side headlock. Synth backs him into the ropes and shoves him off once again. This time, Logan drops off the apron, and grabs his leg from the floor. Benjamin looks out at him, and takes a knee to the back from Synth as a result! COACH How about that teamwork, Cole? COLE A big move from the Heavenly Rockers, and Benjamin is really hurting! Synth covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Logan tags in, and the two whip Benjamin in and floor him with a double clothesline! Logan gets a few stomps in, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Logan tags in Alf, who picks Benjamin up and drops him throat-first on the top rope! Alf stomps away at Benjamin, then picks him up and attempts an Irish whip. Benjamin reverses, and Alf makes a blind tag on his way by. COLE Tag made to Logan right there! Alf attempts a sunset flip as Benjamin puts his head down, but Benjamin is able to hold his ground...until being met with the LEFT HOOK~! of Logan! COACH YEAH! COLE BIG, trademark left hook from Logan Mann! Logan celebrates his feat, drawing the boos of the fans, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Logan picks up Benjamin, and executes a twisting neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Logan backs Benjamin into the corner, and tags in Alf. Alf hammers away on Benjamin, then brings him out and executes a snap suplex! He follows that with a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Alf tags Logan back in, who whips Benjamin into the ropes, and hooks a SLEEPER~! COLE Sleeperhold applied by Logan Mann! Will this be the match? Benjamin struggles to the ropes, but fades away. The referee lifts his arm... 1!!! 2!!! ...but Benjamin holds through on the third lift! He gets to his feet, with Logan on his shoulders, and backs into the corner! COLE Nice move by Benjamin, and now he needs to tag! However, Logan is able to tag Alf first, and Alf stops Logan with an elbowdrop to the back! Alf celebrates his feat, drawing boos. He then executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH Uh-oh, he's setting him up! However, Alf tags in Synth. COLE Synth wanted the tag, he wants to send a message for AngleMania! Synth sets up the PERCUSSION DDT~!!!!!11111 However, when he raises his hand in the air, Benjamin backdrops out of the move! COLE Benjamin is close, he has to tag now! Alf steps through again, but this time is intercepted by the referee, as Benjamin makes the tag to Moss! COLE There it is! Charlie Moss in! The referee turns around, and puts Moss out! COACH Referee didn't see it! Synth holds Benjamin, as Logan backs into the ropes, and charges with a double axhandle...but Benjamin slips out, and Synth takes the shot! COLE He hit his partner! Benjamin then hits Logan with a superkick, before collapsing to the mat! COLE Yet another chance for Quentin to make a tag! Alf is tagged in...but Benjamin makes the tag to Sandman! COLE TAG MADE! COACH Here we go! COLE Listen to the crowd here in Denver! Sandman and Alf face off, then start exchanging blows! Sandman gets the better of the exchange, backing Alf into a corner and continuing with right hands! He whips Alf across, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick on the way back! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Sandman then executes a suplex on Alf, then heads upstairs. COLE And Sandman going to the top! Sandman hits Alf with a missile dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up again! Sandman starts delivering BOOT SCRAPES~! to Alf, but is attacked from behind by Logan! Synth joins, and the two whip Sandman into the ropes. Sandman ducks a double clothesline, and flys back with one of his own! Moss grabs Synth and backs him into a corner, while Benjamin backs Alf into an opposite one. COLE It's mayhem in there right now! As Logan gets to his feet, Alf and Synth are whipped into mid-ring, sandwiching him! Sandman then catches him with a foot to the gut...and plants him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE Put this one in the books! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE What a match that was! BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of TEAM HEYROSS and SANDMAN9000!!!!! From behind, Colonel Abdullah raises a lighttube in the air behind Sandman, who reaches back and grabs it, then turns and stares down the Colonel. COACH Uh-ohhhhhh... The Colonel is wide-eyed as Sandman knees him in the gut, then grabs the lighttube and shatters it over the back of his head! Synth drags the Colonel out of the ring, and he and Logan examine the wound that has been opened on the back of his head! COACH Look at that, poor Abdullah! COLE I don't know what he was thinking, but Sandman and Team Heyross have got some serious momentum heading into AngleMania VII! Let's go to... COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN Is Brought To You By We now interrupt this program for the first installment of a new OAOAST series: OAOAST BELL TO BELL Josh Matthews steps into camera range, in what looks like an empty studio back at the OAOAST Corporate Office. Only an OAOAST Logo sign on the wall and a high-def television monitor are Josh's company, as he takes center stage. JOSH Welcome, everyone, to the first installment of OAOAST Bell To Bell. In just about a week's time, two of the OAOAST's most popular athletes will lock up in singles action. What started as a friendly bet to build up the competitive spirit in both of these individuals has erupted into a feud for the ages. The chase to capture the World Heavyweight Championship has now wound up pitting these one-time friends against each other. On one side of the feud is a man who commands respect, and is held in the highest regard here in the OAOAST. On the other, a man who feels he's earned his stripes, and craves the type of respect that his rival has come to earn. At Anglemania VII, Zack Malibu and Bohemoth will go one on one for the first time ever, battling not for any championships, but simply for the chance to soon compete for the coveted OAOAST World Title, and more importantly, each other's respect. Tonight, we talk with both men, as well as take a look at how they're preparing for this highly anticipated matchup. (We now segue into HIGHLIGHTS~!, starting off with November Reign 2007's Triple Cage Match) *Holding PRL by the back of the head, Bohemoth rams him face-first into the wall of the cage again. The bigman then targets Popick again, manhandling the World Champion and sending him into a meeting with the steel as well. With both his opponents down, Bo then goes back to his original plans and grabs the boltcutters from off of the steel floor, ready to unlock the door out of Cage 2... *CLUNK!* ...AND WALKS RIGHT INTO SCHOOL'S OUT, THE BOLTCUTTERS KICKED RIGHT BACK INTO HIS FACE!!!!!!* (cut to Bohemoth on screen) BO That's where it all kicked off. I'm not saying that to be cute, but that's where it all started. I was finally showcased, finally had the chance to become the represenative of this company, and I had it taken away from me when Zack knocked me cold. JOSH (off-screen) So you hold Zack responsible for not being World Champion right now? BO Partially. I don't think Zack has held me down, and he's never really been in my way until now. I think that things have happened where I've been distracted, and that Zack woke me up to those issues, but it took him knocking me out cold for me to wake up. (cut to Zack Malibu on-screen) ZACK Bo had always been...there. That's the only way to put it. When he broke off from Christian Wright he could have shot to the top, but he got distracted. He'll tell you that himself. When we were in that cage match he was a force, man. He could have torn that cage apart from the ground up and let that belt fall into his hands, but he lacked that spark. That driving force. That's the missing piece to the puzzle. He has all the tools, but it always seemed like he was on cruise control instead of putting his foot on the gas. BO I don't really feel as though I've coasted during my tenure thus far...I just think that certain opportunities never came about, or that maybe I truly didn't earn them. JOSH Why do you think you didn't earn them? Lack of strong competition? The feeling you weren't ready to take advantage of opportunities like title shots? BO I don't think that it was anything like that, just simply that the cards never fell in my favor until recently, and now that they have... JOSH ...now you have a former World Champion breathing down your neck. BO (chuckles) Yeah, I do...and that's the strongest competition you can get here in the OAOAST. ZACK Bo knows...he knows that he's this close to the World Title. He's on the run of his life right now, but if thinks I'm going to be some pushover, some steppingstone, well, look at all the other guys who thought that way. Even Bruce Blank, he made himself by being the most physical, most intimidating guy I ever went up against, got retired by me. Now that was a personal vendetta, and I'm not out to end Bo's career, but c'mon...it's a known fact I'm at my best when the odds aren't in my favor. When my back is against the wall, I don't go down without the fight of my life. BO It's funny that Zack mentioned the Blank feud, because that's exactly why he's the underdog in our match. Those personal feuds like that one, or the one with Popick, or the one with...well, that guy's not important but you know who I mean...they were personal. Heated blood feuds, with a lot of venom behind their actions. Zack and I aren't seeing eye to eye these days, but I'm not a guy out to cripple him or maim him or stalk his family, and he knows that. That's going to be his downfall, because if he's not coming after me with one hundred and ten percent, he's gonna fail. ZACK Bo thinks that because this feud wasn't built out of vengeance or hatred that I'm going to be a pushover? It might not be about crippling and maiming, but it's still about respect. Bo sometimes acts like things should have been handed to him, and the only thing that's going to be handed to him is a beating on March 30th. BO He talks tough, but when he's the one looking up at the lights at Anglemania, he's gonna have to eat those words. ZACK I know what he wants. I know he wants the World Title. He keeps going on the way he's been going and he'll have earned it. Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case, because now he has to go through me. He thinks it's going to be easy? I'll give him the phone numbers of all the guys who thought the same thing. Hell, the World Champion right now is one of them! BO Keep talking about the past, Zack. If you're comparing me to any of your old foes, that's another mistake, because I'm nothing like them. ZACK You're exactly like them, Bo, because you're going to find out the hard way that challenging Zack Malibu isn't a way up the ladder, it's a way back down to Earth. *FADE OUT* COLE OAOAST fans, the match between Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia has not only captured your attention, but its also captured the hearts and minds of the entertainment industry! We've already heard from Natalie Portman, Rick Ross, and Demi Moore. But let's here from a few more! Charlize Theron is seen standing in front of a row of Photographers at the Monaco Aids Prevention Gala. CHARLIZE Who am I rooting for? Oh, that's an easy question. Krista! INTERVIWER Why? CHARLIZE She looks just like me! Very helpful if I ever want to go on a crime spree and need someone to blame it. Plus, she's my trainer. Although don't tell her but every time I leave the gym, people say “Oh, its no nice that you train with your mother.” Kate Beckinsale is also in front of the photo journalists at the Monaco Aids Prevention Gala KATE I like em both really. They're both very cool and say what's on their mind. That's hard with a publicist. You say something and they'll literally turn a funny color. They'll throw up and all that. as well. I find a lot of things kind of funny which is a lot like them. So I pick both. Can I do that? Probably not. Oh well. Velvet Revolver guitarist Slash, relaxes with a guitar and a cigarette inside a rehearsal studio before practice. SLASH Krista's cool and all I met her a few times when she danced with us, and she's real funny. But I'm gonna stand by Alix, we got more in common. That same bad ass, kinda hardcore reckless attitude you get when you have the childhood I had. She stomped the grounds I stomped, skated the roads I skated, probably got chased by the same cops I got chased by. We're both attendees of Beverly Hills Highschool, so there's that. Yeah, man, we misfits and outsiders gotta stick together. During the outside arrivals for the Capital Awards, the cornrowed Axl Rose answers questions and poses for pictures. AXL Who'd Slash pick? INTERVIEWER Uh, Alix. AXL I pick Krista then. She was a dancer in a few of our videos and if Slash didn't pick her, all the better. Sound good? We fade out on Axl's laughter. COMING UP NEXT BEST FRIENDS. BITTER ENEMIES. VITAMIN X VS THA PUERTO RICAN NEXT Edited March 24, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 X/PRL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 (edited) SuperSonics 105 at Lakers 130 Swag levels was at a good 9.5 tonight. Niggas in the WC don't want it with the lake show Alix Maria Spezia's condo Los Angeles, California March 19th Tape provided by Molly Nerdly The scene is Alix's bed room, which contrary to what you might have thought is not affixed with Hello Kitty, Dorah the explorer, Hannah Montana, and Zack and Cody decor. Okay so there is a life size Miley Cyrus (she said hi to me!) poster on the wall. But other then it its a calm room decorated with a sharp modern bent. The walls are a deep dark grey, subdued by various soft Japanese paintings of flowers or pond scenes. A massive HI-DEF TV rests on the wall, just above a pitch black dresser to match the rest of the room's furniture. Oddly there are several closed boxes marked, Time Machine, Jodie Foster's childhood memories, Ted Danson's emmy, and genetic mutations, stacked near the closet. Most importantly in the king sized bed, Alix and Mackenzie lie entangled beneath the black sheets. Alix's body rests against Mackeizne's, comforted by her smooth touch as her arms snake around her torso. ALIX Woah! That was grrrrreat. And even better when, you know, there's not like my racist, homophobic grandmother on the ground having a stroke from walking in on me bent over my grandfather's old war chest. MACKENZIE Yeah, that was a bit unfortunate. ALIX Hey, you know what my favorite part was? MACKENZIE The part where you yelled, "Oh god, this is my favorite part"? Giggling Alix rolls herself on top of Mackenzie, who smiles weakly. Delighting in the feel of devastating ecstasy she's been left with, Alix can't help but pepper Mackenzie's neck with kisses. ALIX Noooooooo. The part right after that where I yelled “Oh god, I changed my mind this is my favorite part!” Hey, Molly how'd I do? MOLLY (behind the Siclopse, speaking with an English accent because that's what Molly does now) How, wonderfully, wonderful you both were! Yet, Alix, you move around a shade to much for me to keep up with. And I thought shooting pornos for Tommy Lee would be a workout! And how amazingly noisy you are! Was I shooting low grade homemade porno under the guise of art or were my ears being slaughtered by a jet engine? Mackenzie notices the fact that Alix's Yorkshire Terriers have been eying her down the entire time. MACKENZIE (uneasy) Alix? ALIX Yes, honey bunches of oats? MACKENZIE What are the dogs doing? ALIX Watching their daddy! MACKENZIE Ignoring the fact that I've somehow been masculinzed and affixed with a schlong and asking: The whole time? ALIX Since the git-go, homo. I think they're real proud of you. You put a lot more effort into it then that life size stand up of Jodie Foster I used to have. Although, you're a lil harder for them to pee on. But, hey that's kinda cool for Ally! MACKENZIE All right, show's over! ALIX Move along, move along, like I know you will! Move along! Hey, are ya ready to call it a night? I could do that until Easter Sunday...I have done that until Easter Sunday. But you look kinda sleepy. Come on, let's go. MACKENZIE Didn't you just...I thought we were going to sleep? ALIX We are, but not here. Duh! Alix allows no opportunity for Mackenzie's confused mind to gather up any protests. She wraps her body within the cocoon of the bed sheet, while Mackenzie gazes on in wonderment. Wonderment soon turns to reluctant weariness as Alix drags her off the bed as well. Tangled in Alix's web of silk and satin bed covers, Mackenzie is hauled into the living room quite against her will. With the two Yorkies trailing behind them, the lovers plop down in front of the wall length window that overlooks the Los Angeles skyline. MACKENZIE Uh? What? ALIX Hey, Mac-Attack, what do you think we would have done if we hadn't gotten engaged? MACKENZIE I don't know. Not sent away for brochures from a place in South Dakota called Big Sam's Titty City, wedding chapel and mortgage refinancing. ALIX Well, you know what? I'm so totally stoked on that spot. Because like then every moment with you we'll be like waah! Surprise! Floopy cow girl boobies and thirty year fixed mortgage rates! MACKENZIE I know what you mean. Will we be sleeping here every night? ALIX Don't be silly, billy. Only when it's a full moon. MACKENZIE The full moon, of course. Stupid of me to ask that question. You don't turn into anything unpleasant, do you? ALIX What? Is that supposed to be a joke? MACKENZIE Um....yeah. ALIX! Well, it's not funny! Not one bit! Oh my god, wouldn't it be trippy if I was really like that? Oh my god, wow, total awesome idea for ya! We should have a killer, like, party right up here celebrating the engagement. We could have a band, and we could have a couple of kegs, some weed, some of my niggas from the Wu-Tang Clan. I haven't smoked out with Redman in a minute. We could invite our parents! And they could meet each other and maybe partner swap! We'd have to hire security because my dad kinda narced on the Mexican Mafia in exchange for a reduced sentence but wouldn't that be oh my god so freaking great? Suddenly Mackenzie's face becomes contorted by frustration. MACKENZIE I think that maybe partying is not the best idea, right now. Alix looks at Mackenzie with shocked disappointment. ALIX Exsqueeze me bacon powder? When is a party not a kick ass idea? MACKENZIE When you've missed concerts, recording sessions, and photo shoots because you're out partying, that's when. When all that happens, when professional conduct is put in danger by personal conduct then it becomes not so much of a kick ass idea. It becomes a headache.....a very annoying headache. ALIX Oh no! I do feel kinda warm! MACKENZIE That's because you have a heating blanket on top of your head. I'm talking about me! In one ear out the other, that's just the way it is with you. Its like why should I even bother speaking to you when you'll only hear what you want to hear. ALIX Yeah, sure I'd love to invite Molly into our marriage. You mean threesomes right? 'Cause I don't wanna have to like talk to her and stuff. No dis, Mol. MOLLY (behind the camera) Whatever will pay the student loan! MACKENZIE There you go! ALIX Be chill, Mackie. Lay off me. I'm just a girl havin' fun. Right? That's what you tell all these suck ass reporters who keep getting up in my face. MACKENZIE Yeah, and fun is fine until it affects me. This is my job, don't you understand. Moneymaker is counting on you to be his bridge into the entertainment industry! Do not think for a second a guy who poured so much money into investing in a low level television station like TSM, is just going to be content trading wins with homoerotic cowboys. There is ambition for greatness. There is a will to make his empire span industries, but until you came along there wasn't a way. I changed that, I gave him you, and a promise that you're his golden ticket. What happens if the goose that's supposed to lay the golden egg can't even deliver? What happens if Beauty Crush bombs because of you? What happens to me? Where does that leave me if you can't get your shit together? ALIX Why are you being so mean to me? MACKENZIE Why are you being so mean to me? Why do you have to become some horrible Hollywood cliché at the exact moment when I need you to thrive? I have been nothing but good to you, since I found you in front of my Apartment, cold, soaked by the rain, shivering like a lost puppy. I've thrown away my dreams of the normal American family with the husband, wife, 2.5 kids, to live with two neurotic barely house broken dogs, and a neurotic barely housebroken drug addict. Now, you give me something back! Something besides headaches, because that's all I've gotten from you! I should be enjoying the prime of my life, loving you, relishing your success, instead I'm running damage control. Well, get it together. You want to be part of the party? You better earn your way into it first! Because you'll be pretty easy to write off once you crash and burn. ALIX Hey! MACKENZIE Hey, what? What could you possibly have to say to me? Maybe I should go a few blocks down sunset see if Krista will take me in. Because there's a woman with a worldwide fitness empire, her own television show, and a star on the walk of fame. There's a woman who has her shit together, and if you got some time maybe you can go down to the coliseum and see where exactly she's going to leave you lying on the 30th! So why the fuck am I shacking up with some girl who can barely make it through a day without spilling half her guts from ODing on pills? Answer me that! Alix has no answer or even a rebuttal to Mackenzie anger. All she has is the strength to stand off the floor, and depart towards the door. MACKENZIE Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. ALIX Lemme alone! Lemme alone! I don't give a crap about Moneymaker and all his stupid...his stupid goals and wacked out ideas! I want Krista gone for me! That's why I'm doing this! For me, okay! For me! Your boss, ya know...he's whatever, I don't care! Just lemme alone! MACKENZIE Alix... ALIX I said leave me alone! Okay? Just lemme breathe for a bit. I don't wanna say something that'll hurt you. You hurt me enough for both of us. And like that Alix disappears through the door, apparently not concerned that she's clothed by a heating pad and a Barbie bed sheet. MOLLY Marvelous handling of that, lesbinova. Couldn't have ruined the relationship any better if you had slept with her mom! MACKENZIE That's one of her biggest fantasies actually. And shut up, anyway, go back to Edmonton and film documentaries on the migratory pattern of Moose when people with Maple Syrup fetishes are passing a kidney stone. Mackenzie storms away, angered with Alix's hasty departure and her not taking the annoying intern with her. MOLLY I'll have you know I won a Canadian filmmaker of the year award for a documentary just like that! COMMERCIAL Edited March 22, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 (edited) We go to the ring, where Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix is standing by with a big silver trophy. Oh, and fellow Cucaracha Internacional members James Blonde, Faqu, Nathaniel Black and Megan Skye of course. Landon leans casually on the top of the trophy, wagging a microphone around in his other hand as he waits for some quiet. MADDIX Last week on this very show we saw the third Torneo Cibernetico match in OAOAST history. And after a hell of an effort from sixteen of the OAOAST's finest, one man inevitably came out on top. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the winner of Torneo Cibernetico III... "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez!! "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits and out walks Todd Cortez, that in one corner of the screen while in the other we're shown a flashback to last week... A little confused by that announcement, Landon glances over at Michael Buffer from his victorious position on the middle turnbuckle, but just shrugs and goes back to punching the air. Behind him, Todd Cortez rolls CW out of the ring, looking up at his enforced team-mate... and smiling! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh... oh no... LANDON! LANDON, turn around! COLE It's down to Cortez and Landon! And I don't think Landon has any idea what's waiting for him! COACH Don't do this Todd... you just SAVED him, think of the contract! Think of Cucaracha Internacional! Think of your 6-Man Titles! Jumping down off the turnbuckles, Landon blows a theatrical kiss to the crowd, mistaking their cheers and standing on their feet as appreciation for him. Cortez continues to wait behind him, until finally Landon lets out one giant cheer of victory, turning around... ...into a boot, getting pulled into the standing headscissors... COACH NOOOOOOOOO!!! *WHAM~!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE RIOT. ACT. PLUS~! Cortez makes the cover on the completely motionless La Cucaracha, the fans going wild... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Torneo Cibernetico... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD CCOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The recap fades away and we're back to Todd Cortez, entering the ring to the applause of his stable-'mates'. Cortez looks unimpressed by the show being put on, especially by Landon at the front of the queue, clapping the loudest, the longest and definately the showiest. COLE This is pretty gracious on Landon's part, considering. COACH That's the kinda guy Landon Maddix is, ya know. Besides, why shouldn't he make a fuss of Todd Cortez? That's his boy. He 'recruited' him to Cucaracha Internacional, he saw the potential. This is as much his victory as it is Todd's if you ask me. COLE And if you discount the Riot Act Plus and 3 count he fell to. A wary Cortez shakes hands with Landon before they position themselves either side of the trophy, for the small group of photographers positioned outside the ring. After a few snaps Landon gets the thumbs up and he shakes Todd's hand again and Cortez lifts up the trophy, tucking it as best possible under his arm. MADDIX Congratulations buddy. And I'm sure I speak on behalf of you, which I'm sure you won't mind being the humble untalkative guy that you are, when I thank your team-mates for making it all possible. The members of the surviving team of Cibernetico, Cucaracha Internacional... and The Enterprise, even though the first three guys eliminated from the team were stupid disqualifications on their part that could have cost us the entire match. Let's not hold that against them. The point is, we won regardless. COLE We? MADDIX And Todd, I know there's been some period of adjustment since you were lucky enough to be recruited by our good selves. But just as I predicted, history has bore out and here you are. Successful again! 6-Man Tag Team Champion, Cibernetico winner, a big ol' trophy to go with it. It's not the most practical thing, I know. But with the way the resources in America are right now, I bet it's value as scrap metal is pretty high. I'm sure you know some people. (Landon winks) And this is just the beginning! AngleMania is right around the corner and so is more success for you my friend. You say the word and more is in store. Cortez sets down the trophy and Landon hands off the microphone with a smile. CORTEZ ...change of plans. And, there goes the smile. CORTEZ I went to AngleSault earlier. And I've put in my request. March 30th, it's you and me, one on one, one more time. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon's jaw drops and he quickly snatches back the microphone, backing up across the ring under the strain of trying to take the announcement in apparantly. MADDIX Lemme... lemme... get this straight. You... this isn't what we agreed on, damnit! Shrugging, Cortez, keeps half an eye out on the other Cucaracha Internacional members, all grouped in a corner out of the way of this dispute. Landon rubs away at his temples with his head down. MADDIX You know, you are the most STUBBORN person I think I've ever met in my life. Look at you. Look! You're part of the biggest international force in the OAOAST, Cucaracha Internacional. Your stock has risen in the past month. Because of US, you went from being some also-ran on this overbloated roster into a champion! Because of US! Because of ME! All because, for some asinine reason, I believe in you. You're a 6-Man Tag Champion. You won Cibernetico. Even after you dropped me on my head with that ridiculous piledriver of yours last week, I still organised this presentation ceremony for you, slapped on a big phony smile and pretended like my neck doesn't still hurt like hell! I even took you to that strip joint last night. And, I know, maybe that wasn't the best idea in Colorado of all places... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX ...but seriously, when was the last time you saw breasts without me next to you, Todd? Face it buddy, whether you wanna admit it or not, you're nothing without La Cucaracha! COLE What an egomaniac. It's like a broadway rehearsal, all I can hear is me, me, me. MADDIX And after all I've done for you, you STILL can't accept it. You can't handle the fact that maybe, just maybe, it's okay to be the follower when it's towards a great leader like myself. So, I'll tell you what Todd, maybe I have to FORCE you to accept it. Maybe, just maybe, beating you on the grandest stage there is, AngleMania, is gonna be what finally wakes you up and makes you smell the Cucaracha coffee. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Let's not forget, I'm undefeated at AngleMania. COACH That's true. COLE He's only had one match at AngleMania! COACH Your point is? As Landon paces around, Cortez folds his arms, waiting for him to continue. MADDIX You know what else I'm gonna do Todd. I'm gonna teach you a little bit of discipline. As of now, you're no longer part of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions! It's fair to say Cortez looks none too bothered by that, but Landon proceeds all the same. MADDIX That's right. As of now, Nathaniel Black's gonna be taking your place as champion. So, how about you think about that for a while and we'll see where that gets us. Huh? What La Cucaracha gives, he can take away as well. Don't you forget it. Black grins like a chesire cat in the background... .:CUE: "Medal":. ...until Anglesault strolls out onto the stage with a mic, shaking his head. ANGLESAULT I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear. Landon, take up a look up over there would you please? Doing as he's told, Landon glances up in the direction of AS's finger. Sure enough, he's looking right at an OAOAST banner hanging from the rafters. Not an AngleMania one, thankfully. Seriously, enough already, we get it, it's almost WrestleMania, we don't need everybody to point at the damn sign. Fucking hell. ANGLESAULT Now, that says 'OAOAST'. Not 'SWF'. So, that means you don't have the power to switch titles around right now. MADDIX But it's my stable! ANGLESAULT That's the most pathetic thing I've heard in some time. Landon purses his lips a little and crosses his arms. ANGLESAULT Now, if you've really got a problem with Todd Cortez being a 6-Man Tag Champion, then that's an issue to take up with me. Obviously you're happy taking that away from him, which tells me you're not happy with them teaming up again. So, allow me to officially vacate the 6-Man Tag Team Titles. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh, that is bull! All of Cucaracha Internacional, sans Cortez of course, protest from the ring. But AngleSault waves at them to settle down. ANGLESAULT It's funny, I was a little disappointed when Todd came to me early, knowing we wouldn't get a 6-Man defence on the biggest show of the year. I guess this solves the problem. We'll remedy that situation later. In the meantime, you can go ahead and return the belts to my office whenever you get a free minute. Thanks. "Medal" hits again as Landon seethes, watching Cortez leaving the ring with trophy in toe. Mouths agape, Blonde and Black look at each other and wonder what just happened to their precious dreams, as Landon points an accusing finger at Cortez and warns him he's made a "big mistake". Edited March 22, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 Who could appear on our screen but the queen of the interview scene, Maggie Nerdly. The teeny boppin kid, who may or not be women's champion at this point in time, sports a white polo shit a black skirt with purple and white leg warmers and an Axl Rose style green headband with multicolored headbands, which I happen to be wearing right now. Maggie is stationed in the expertly decorated Action Zone, which features a wealth of flat screen television monitors, each displaying various moments in oaoast history. On the walls hang glittering replicas of the numerous oaoast titles both past and present, along with gorgeous pictures of those superstars that don't look like they've spent the previous night face down in a ditch. MAGGIE What's good, what's happening, what's cracking? Maggie Nerdly, ya girl, here to give you the VIP pass to the AfterParty. This week we go ridin on Harleys with ThunderKid, Cuban Wall, James Cone, Baron Windells, CPA, and Jumbo. Zack Malibu hooks us up with some funky dope DJing skills, and we take a tour of the Los Angeles memorial coliseum the site of Anglemania VII with Biff Atlas! Check it out at OAOAST.com Returning from break the camera cuts quickly outside, where the Burrough Boys are stomping around angrily. The camera then cuts over to their tricked-out hummer, which has been vandalized. COACH Look at this! COLE Wow, the vehicle of the Burrough Boys has been destroyed here... Windows have been busted, and tires punctured. Mariano picks up one of the rear-view mirrors, which has been knocked off. The camera then cuts inside to Reject, who is looking on with a look of curiosity. He then turns and sees Thunderkid walking towards him. Thunderkid looks outside, then lifts up a sledgehammer and speaks. THUNDERKID What's going on out there? Reject then lifts a pick axe onto his shoulder. REJECT You got me. Reject and TK then walk their separate ways, as the camera zooms back outside briefly. COLE You don't....do you think Reject had something to do with that? COACH Hell no! Reject? That faggot Reject probably ain't even from New York. He probably from Connecticut. You been to the BK? It smells like stank pussy and sewage true story! Them niggas aint gettin fresh and they DEFINATELY not keepin it wavy. White bred dudes like Reject don't be surviving in places like that. Go on and get ya slippers and morning paper, ho. Click click clack all around ya culdasack, Ward Cleaver. COLE Why oh why do I even bother speaking to you? Folks, as we well know Krista Isadora Duncan will meet her ex-girlfriend Alix Maria Spezia, but coming up next in our mainevent, we'll see her battle long time rival, Theodore Moneymaker in a gigantic grudge match! COMING UP NEXT I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS THEODORE MONEYMAKER NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 (edited) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our mainevent here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! It is a no disqualification match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing first... You make me so hot Make me wanna drop You're so ridiculous I can barely stop I can hardly breathe You make me wanna scream You're so fabulous You're so good to me, baby, baby You're so good to me, baby, baby "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The floor of the entrance stage is captured by a playful illumination as its tiles flash wildly alternating colors of red, green, yellow, blue, and white. Above these frenzied color flashes lie a bevy of gorgeous dancers. They capture the audience's lust and passions, with white gogo boots decorated by red flowers, orange, blue and yellow, tie die micro dresses, and matching head bands. Their dances are like Hippy commune revelry mixed with modern day hip-hop, flowing arm movements interrupted by controlled bursts of leg jumps, followed by hands running across their shapely bodies. But any attention that falls on those many dancers is stripped away by the arrival of the supreme beauty, Krista Isadora Duncan! Miss California strikes an alluring pose beneath the swirl of red and pink spotlights, throwing one hand into the air, while letting another glide down her inner thigh. A circling overhead camera captures the gorgeous woman, in pink heels that carry long legs up to ultra tight pink booty shorts, that showcase generous helpings of her perfectly toned BUTT. To complete the ensemble she wears a matching pink Luke Walton Lakers jersey. Krista brushes past her army of dancer with utmost arrogance and begins a haughty stride towards the ramp. BUFFER From Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, a recent inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! The entrance ramp's dull flooring is now blanketed in the most beautiful array of pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully against the matching lighting scheme. Similar to the recently passed LA fashion week, fashion photographers and journalists, all outfitted in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. All around is the monstrous roar of cheers, spewed from every member of the audience. COLE When I first started working for the OAOAST after my father sold me into slavery to pay of his debts to the Chinese triad, I never thought I'd be calling a match with featuring a woman on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but here we are with the world famous Krista Isadora Duncan! But what's on her mind must be beating her opponent for tonight, Theodore Moneymaker. COACH And even if she does beat him, which she won't, she's still gotta deal with Alix in Los Angeles at Anglemania! Reaching the ring apron leads Krista to catch her long legs around the third rope. Offering the fans a prime photo opportunity she bends her entire body upside down with amazingly flexibility. Even while suspended in mid air, she showcases her classically rebellious attitude with one hand blowing the cameras a kiss and the other giving them the finger. "YEOW!" The entrance stage falls under a light green glow, as various highlights of the most reprehensible group of wrestlers flash onto the various video screens. The venom spit from the sold out audience is only directed to the leader though, Theodore Moneymaker. The Billion Dollar Heir doesn't shy away from this rising of anger from the audience, instead welcoming it with open arms as he strolls onto the stage. Mackenzie DeCenzo in a slinky strapless yellow sequined evening gown, stands at his side, massaging his shoulders and offering him words of encouragement. COLE Folks, now is a good a time as any to tell you about our latest Anglemania match, which will open the most swagtastic show in history! The Lonestar Gunslingers, and The Christ Air Express will go up against The Enterprise team consisting of Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, and The Beverly Hills Blonds. That's a huge match with all men involved being former tag team champions. COACH Its an obvious attempt by The Lonestar Gunslingers and The Christ Air Express to get some shine. So they call Moneymaker, a true G if ever there was one, out. Get ya weight up little boys, you not on Moneymaker's level. And, I don't think Jock even wanted that match. I bet he wanted that punk turncoat Baron in a steel cage. Windells has to hell to pay soon! Ol Billy Ray Cryus poser ass bout to get his skull cracked by a true redneck cowboy. Garth Brooks lookin fool, Baron bout as hard as Reba McEntire's ass. The other dudes in that match...them bitches just love getting beat up by somebody who's greater than their life. BUFFER And the opponent being accompanied by Mackenzie DeCenzo, from Vero Beach, Florida, he is the CEO of The Enterprise , the Billion Dollar Heir, and one half of the first ever One and Only World Tag Team champions......MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER! COLE No one I've ever met is more universally hated then this man, Theodore Moneymaker. And I don't anyone hates him more then Krista Isadora Duncan. He's revealed her deepest secret to the world, totally turned her life upside down, staged a witch hunt against her due to her sexuality, convinced her ex-girlfriend into thinking she's been spreading lies about her. But I wonder how much of this is about jealously? Moneymaker and his crew spend all their time trying to stress that they're sports entertainers. But Krista is truly an entertainer first, second, and a wrestler about twentieth. She's actually doing what Moneymaker's crew only broadly talks about. I think there's a lot of jealously in Moneymaker's heart. COACH Can't hide your female traits and attributes even if you rock a beard. The bitch in you is very strong, you drip pussy juice from your pore, the estrogen got you growing titties. Your mother taught you Hoe Survival skills, always worrying about jealously. THAT'S WHAT BITCHES DO! Why you talking about jealously like Mister Moneymaker's a ho? This is about power, control, and indisputable dominance. You on some female type mess. Change ya tampax before you speak to the don. Moneymaker struts down the ramp with Mackenzie on his arm, and the boos of twenty thousand audience members filling his ears. He isn't overly concerned with their wrathful comments, and instead simply offers them his famous evil laughter. COLE I'll tell you this, Moneymaker has proven that he is an amazing athlete time and time again. But he's coming out here without any backup besides Mackenzie. No CPA, no Christian Wright, or Beverly Hills Blonds. He's going to step into the ring with his most hated enemey, Krista Isadora Duncan, and he's basically alone. Money Talks fades away, and its absence comes the raucous noise from eighteen thousands of Coloradoans. On their feet, their screams and shouts lend a rocking soundtrack to the tense confrontation between Krista and Moneymaker. Though, Moneymaker dwarfs her in both height and weight, Miss California displays no hints of intimidation. Instead she displays a strong showing of rage and matches him vulgar threat for vulgar threat. Referee Charles Robinson seeks to get between the warring superstars, but his efforts are wasted. Its almost if the entire world is totally invisible to them, as they lock hate filled eyes on one another. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" And just like that the chants of Krista's name fall to heated boos. As disgusted as the fans are, Moneymaker is every bit as shocked by the appearance of his asscoiates. He holds his hands out in a strong pleading of innocence as his loyal lackeys, The Beverly Hills Blonds strode out onto the entrance stage toting wine bottles. The confused mood inside the the ring isn't matched by the former tag team champions, who boast smiles as big as The Rocky Mountains. Neither Krista nor the fans buy Moneymaker's avoidance of fault, and they verbally hammer him with insults. COLE And this can't be unexpected! With a stable that nearly numbers in the double digits, is it any surprise to see some henchmen out here to do their bosses bidding? And its bidding they'll happily perform; forgetting his mask of innocence, Moneymaker guides them to their own person VIP seats in the front row with smug satisfaction. Inside the squared circle, Krista fumes threatening violence against Moneymaker, Mackenzie, The Blonds, and Russel Crowe (she thought 3:10 to Yuma was ovverated nonsensical pap best left in the 1950's) “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” NED I agree! That's why I rent all my cars from Budget! SIMON Simon's laughter is abruptly silenced when the celeb diva, launches herself from the apron towards his boss. The Blonds watch in horror, and the audience watches with delight, as her frilly pink Jessica Simpson pumps slash into his back. His gruff voice breaking in agony, Moneymaker sinks to the mats. There he's the unwilling victim to a cascade of stomps from his gorgeous enemy. “These boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do! One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!” Krista sings, channeling the namesake of her flashy footwear. The shoes continue to slam into the back of his head with meteoric force, and his screams are muffled by paper thin black mats beneath him. The audience is treated to the sight of his frightened face, once Krista yanks him off the canvas. With a hold on his dollar green tights she chucks him into the ring. Motivated strictly by survival instincts, Moneymaker begins a hasty roll to the opposite side of the ring to begin an escape. But seeing the ultra smooth legs of Krista stepping over the ropes as though she were a seven foot giant, tells Moneymaker he must stay and fight. He gathers up both strength and courage and surges forward to take her off her heels with a spear! “BOOOOOO!” Dumping further fuel on the audience's hatred, Moneymaker begins smashing his right hands into Krista's covergirl face. Each savage strike comes accompanied by his trademark laughter, which simply works to anger the fans even further. “MONEY TALKS BULLSHIT WALKS, BABY!” He screams, pausing from his assault. But the arrogant interruption of his attack is costly; Krista summons an impressive burst of power and rolls him onto his back! “YEAAAAA!” Rather then merely give the tycoon a taste of his own medicine, Krista tightens her hands his throat in a choke attempt. As he weakly gasps for both air and for assistance from The Blonds, Moneymaker attacker drags him away from canvas. His widen in fear, and his mouth opens to emit muted cries, in anticipation for the deathly hold Krista has in store. Quite to his shock, the golden haired beauty gives him nothing but a rough shove into the posts. Much to his anguish, the golden haired beauty gives him a furious round of kicks to the ribs. She could pummel the money maven until he shears his skin off, but her attention is captured by a woman in the stands. “Krista, you're awesome! You remind me so much of my sister!” “Uh, thanks!” “Its just a shame the investigators never found the charred pieces of her corpse scattered beneath my basement.” The distraction offered by the audience member gives Teddy a chance stagger free of his prison Clutching mightily sore ribs, he builds up a small amount of speed off a run from the ropes. But his return is met with a Triple H-esque knee lift from Krista, and he's thrown down to the canvas. With his entire torso feeling like its been mauled by a saber tooth tiger, Moneymaker rethinks his refusal to retreat. As one hand tries to nurse his wounded ribs, the other slowly assists him in departing the squared circle. Finally he reaches the outside, where front row fans pollute his ear drum with an endless parade of insults. Perhaps more troubling to Moneymaker is the sight of Krissy perched atop the third turnbuckle. Its a thrilling view for the audience, who eagerly await the bombshell's latest weapon in her war against Moneymaker. But first, Krista must wax philosophical, “Friends, there was a time where I was crippled with despair! I used to think that I could not go on. And life was nothing but an awful song. But now I know the meaning of true love. I'm leaning on the everlasting arms. If I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it. I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day. Spread my wings and fly away!” The fans needen't sit through R&B's past hits much longer; off the top rope comes Krista, her fantastic figure twirling and whipping through the air with a shooting star press. Despite having seen Miss California coming from miles away, Moneymaker's plodding feet can't rush him out the way, and she slams into him with violent impact! The billion dollar heir topples backwards, the life drained totally out of him, and the crowd loving every minute of it. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista lifts Moneymaker's carcass off the mats. Weakly he whimpers, barely able to see more then multicolored blurs in front of him. His vision is then engulfed entirely in black, when Krista casually chucks him into the steel steps. Before the pain of that strike can even take hold on Moneymaker's bruised face, Krista is charging forward seeking to smear that face onto the steps. But, the detested heel finds the strength within him to pull his head out the way. The steel steps go flying backwards, throughly upsetting the audience, who wished to see Moneymaker's head do the same thing. Krista, on the other hand is more concerned with her shoes, checking them for scuff marks and finding none. “Damn Jessica, these shoes are the shit!” Back on his feet is Theodore Moneymaker, though his labored breath and sweat soaked body show he's in no condition to defend himself. And that is why those Jessica Simpson pumps easily dropkick him over the guardrail! YEAAAAAA! COLE You gotta think that Krista is doing this for both her daughters, Maya and Jade. Think of what Moneymaker has done to those poor girls! Landing on the cold concrete and hearing the blood thirsty screams of the surrounding fans are enough to once again cause Moneymaker to contemplate escape. His mind is made up when he spots the violence prone babe fast approaching his position. Frantically he crawls towards a stairway leading up the stands towards an exit. But he gets no further then the first step before he feels the sharp sting of a heel poking through his back. Desperate to preserve his life, Moneymaker guides himself up to the second stair and reaches for anything that might assist in his quest for survival. All he comes up with is a cross necklace from a nearby audience member. With no other options on the horizon, the business king sheepishly raises the object as a ward against the dangerous demoness. Krista is unimpressed, “Wow, I'm kind of surprised you can hold that thing without your skin melting off!” The cross dangles free of his hands as once more Krista pulls him away from the floor. With her blue eyes set on the ring she begins guiding him towards the guardrail. But not paying attention to her foe becomes a mammoth mistake; Moneymaker stuns her with a punch to her exposed midsection. More annoyed then hurt by the attack, the Los Angeles native tries to return fire. But for once Moneymaker is too quick for her efforts and succeeds in clotheslining her directly over the guardrail! She lands with an appallingly harsh thud, her leg smacking off the steps and bringing out worried cries from the audience. Their fears aren't entirely subdued either with the way Krista groggily uses the ring steps to get herself up right. Still behind the guardrail, Moneymaker is forced to use Kris' moment of weakness to attend to his quickly mounting injuries. COACH Moneymaker showin resolve and ability to comeback from adversity right here. God bless this man! At Mackenzie's urging, Moneymaker moves to take advantage of the pain he's inflicted Krista with. Showcasing impressive speed, the billion dollar heir soars off the guardrail towards Krista with his beefy arm extended for a lariat. But by the time he reaches the sex kitten she's well recovered and greets his arrival by leaping into skies herself. Her legs curl towards her chest, and her hands come across his neck. Gravity does the rest, pulling the pair down, and cursing Moneymaker with a brutal inverted lung blower. Onto his back The Billion dollar heir flops, scarcely able to breathe or halt the stomps Krista bombs across his chest. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Moneymaker is able to collect enough energy to rise on his own power. But that's a short lived moral victory, due to the repeated chops Krista slashes into his chest. The ferocious attacks wreak havoc on Moneymaker's pasty white skin, shredding it away, and pushing blood red in its place. Most damning of all for The Enterprise leader is that the attacks pack such power that they sink him to his knees. Not willing to play the helpless victim in the SoCal hottie's murderous rampage, Moneymaker resumes a crawl towards an oasis of safety. His constant back tracking finally bears fruit; he drags himself directly towards the Blonds' seats in the front row. His good fortune is their misfortune, however, as Krista gives herself carte blanche to terrorize them with back handed slaps that absolutely enrapture the audience! "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" COACH You can't be slappin audience members all willy nilly like that! They just trynna support their boss, your beef ain't on their streets. Far wiser then his associate, Simon slinks away, leaving Ned to bear the brunt of his ex's maniac assault. Krista is more then thrilled to spend her time pounding Ned and hardly even notices Simon's departure. That is until the Video Voyeur returns seconds later to spew beer into the aqua colored eyes of the the celeb icon. COLE Why, Simon? Why?! SIMON (Holding up the cup of beer) Why ask why? Try Bud Dry! NED Dying for her opportunity to torment Krista as well, Mackenzie departs her position of safety, with intentions of bowling over the semi-blinded hottie with a lariat. MACKENZIE KRISTA Without so much as batting a curled eyelash, Krista reaches out and snares the woman by the throat. She foists her into the air with one hand, holding her up and away while Mackenzie flails in his clutches, pants legs snapping against the empty air. Mackenzie claws fruitlessly at the arm that holds her aloft, but this has little impact or effect on her vengeful aggressor. “Put me down!” Mackenzie demands, her voice stifled to weak gasps. Happily fulfilling Mackie's request, Kris casually throws her towards the dismayed Blonds. Fortunately for the upended businesswoman, her allies are able to catch her within their arms. Krista prepares to steam roll the hapless trio with a dropkick, but first must deal with the troubling occurrence of Moneymaker closing in on her with an axe handle smash! Pleasing the fans greatly, Kris counters his ill advised interference by flinging him over with a hip toss. The sea of gathered spectators watch with joy as Moneymaker's paunchy physique acts as the lead domino in toppling his three underlings over! Wanting to aid Krista in her fight against The Enterprise a nearby fan passes her a replica microphone she purchased at the merchandise stand. “That's my girl! Honey, You're a good person. Just like Natalie Portman. I don't know, sometimes when I look at my screen saver, I think..."Yeah, you're thinking about me, too." I used to feel the same way about Gina Gershon, but then I shared a limo with her and she poked me in the boob with an umbrella. And by shared a limo and poked me in the boob with an umbrella I obviously mean dry humped me from Malibu to West Hollywood, and didn't even buy me drinks afterwards.” COLE I have to imagine this must be pretty disconcerting for Moneymaker. You dedicate yourself to destroying this woman and she treats you like she's hosting Saturday Night Live! That has to trainwreck his confidence. Brushing aside any inclinations for teamwork, The Enterprise members scramble for their own safety in the face of this crazed madwoman. But safety is a hard goal to reach for Simon Singleton with Krista horse whipping him with the replica microphone. Right as his tortured screams begin to fill the air, his tag team partner is being brutalized with the same attack. In front of Moneymaker's panicked face Ned falls, tiny droplets of blood trickling from his forehead. If there was any worry for Blanchard's plight in Moneymaker's heart, its all but evaporated when he eyes Krista, weapon raised, looming above him. Wholly frightened by this unwelcome image, Moneymaker begins haphazardly hustling away from Krista. “Run Forest! Run!” Krista cries to him. Prayers for divine intervention flow freely from the billionaire's trembling voice. Though no deity comes to his aid, Simon Singleton certainly does, clubbing Krista in the back with forearms. He manages to keep her under duress with his assault long enough for Blanchard to get to his feet. With Ned at his side, Simon joins in his partner in hooking Krista into a front facelock. There are threats of violence from inebriated audience members as they raise her into the air. However, the Blonds pay the drunks no mind and smash Krista against the rough concrete with a double vertical suplex. Her screams of pain further ignite the audience's anger, and they shower The Enterprise with hateful chants. Their dislike then narrows from the entire stable to just Mackenzie, as the first lady of the group attempts to choke the life from her long time adversary. “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” Mackenzie's anger is so powerful that she's unwilling to let Krista go free. Its only when Moneymaker pulls her away from his foe, does Krista get a chance to breath. Its a chance with a short shelf life; the Blonds lift her up and dump her over the guardrail. She lands on the mat, where she instantly begins trying to regain her lost air and still her swimming vision. Her obscured sight prevents her from spotting Moneymaker swiping the ring bell from Michael Buffer. Even the shouts of the worried announcer and nearby fans don't tip her off to the danger that's forthcoming. Thus it comes with great shock and anguish when Moneymaker bashes his weapon into her skull. Krista's fall to the mat is of the sickening variety, her head a basketball bouncing off this rubber court. She whimpers in agony, her vision worsened and her eyes burning with salty sweat. “BWAHHAHAHA!” Moneymaker laughs, while swiping a miniature OAOAST hockey stick from a fan in the front row. Within moments after stealing the weapon, Moneymaker is bringing it down across Krista's back. It acts as a sadistic drum stick, beating out horrible cries of distress from Krista's throat. Though its a tune that brings appalled gasps to the audience's eyes, its one that severely underwhelms Moneymaker. As such, the Flordian seeks out a weapon that will generate greater screams of pain from his enemy. His search drives him to an expedition underneath the ring, but it takes no more then two seconds before he unearths a stop sign. The fans become abuzz with alarm, their hearts set at ill ease while they watch Moneymaker hover the octagon above their fallen heroine. COLE Don't do this! Krista has no idea what just hit her, but she knows it hurts like all hell. Pain shoots through her bare back like a cancer as the metal rain downs with furious fire. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” Thankfully Moneymaker discards his now bent stop sign to the floor. Yet he does this only to retrieve a much more dangerous wine bottle from Ned Blanchard. Unaware of what awaits her when she stands, Krista uses the black ring apron to pull herself to her feet. She's not even offered an opportunity to brace herself for Moneymaker's assault before he lashes the bottle against the back of her head. The now broken glass makes splinters across the landscape, and sags Krista into a knocked out abyss. She timbers sideways, with sweat, and liquor preceding her graceless fall. COLE Good god! This is wrong! This is all wrong! COACH This shit ain't sweet, white boy! Fuck you thought it was? The audience is shocked speechless by Moneymaker's viscous attack, and can't even work up the resolve to boo his disgraceful laughter. The mirthful CEO of The Enterprise then tightens his hand around Krista's hair and roughly hauls her to her feet. Although slivers of glass work into his skin, they don't stop him from hastily depositing the exhausted celeb into the ring. He follows her into the squared circle and attempts the first pinfall of the contest... ONE! TWO! Krista throws her shoulder off the canvas, surprising the audience, who had resigned her to a crushing defeat. Past their cheers is the gravely voice of Theodore Moneymaker, lambasting the referee for a perceived slow count. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans bleat as the walk of famer slowly tries to stagger off the mat. Attempting to silence the audience before they can rally Krista to action, Moneymaker pounces on her with the Bank Vault sleeper hold. The affects of the signature move are immediate, a painful constricting of her breathing. This is more then a mere rest hold, for Krista this is onerous battle to remain conscious. Moneymaker does her effort to stay awake no favors, savagely cranking on her neck, torquing it as roughly as his strength will allow. The supportive crowd continues the task of rallying the babyface, singing her name in unison. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Drawing strength from their kindness, the fitness queen bucks and roars against Moneymaker's epic restraints. Moneymaker counters this by tightening his grasp, and letting her drift into a comfortable slumber. However this turns out to be a futile effort as the hardbodied honey keeps on warring against his move. Eventually her frantic movement is able to weaken his clutches just enough that she's able to bring herself to her feet. The moneyed devil follows her upright, wrought with panic that his move is dangerously close to evaporating. His fears turn out to be well founded, as Krissy launches a calvary of stomps into his boot that shred at his clutches. The sixth and final strike shatters the hold altogether, and pops the capacity crowd while causing Mackenzie to curse up a storm. While Kris may be free of the sleeper, she's not free from her aggressor. And he keeps her aware of this chilling fact, by dropping her to the canvas with a side Russian leg sweep! COLE These two have absolutely went to town on one another and right now its Moneymaker taking control over Krista. But how long will that last in this tug of war between these two rivals? “I'M A CASH MONEY BILLIONAIRE! BWAHAHAHAHA!” Moneymaker boasts to a far less then receptive audience. Trailed by their jeers, the billion dollar heir skates to the ropes. As he bounces off, he cocks his arm to strike Krista with the trademark Fistull of Dollars. But when he nears the tanned goddess Moneymaker finds she's in no position to receive his basic strike; she's on her feet with her arms zooming towards his neck. Quickly he tries to put on his breaks and reverse his course, but its to no avail, and Krissy's arms snap him back with a Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect)! COLE Can you imagine? One week you're being immortalized on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, the next you're getting bashed in the head with a wine bottle. "Just another day in the life of Drew Barrymore! Just kidding Drew, love ya much!" Krista calls back, as she hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall. The audience readies themselves to count along with Robinson. Yet their voices are put on hold with the arrival of Ned Blanchard onto the ring apron. The Handsome Hustler's comical gestures, akin to acting as if he's being molested by a gorilla, distract Robinson from his duties with the pinfall. “BOOOOOO!” COLE (standing up and shouting) Turn around, Charles! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! NED No, no, Cole, I just haven't shaved in a couple of days! SIMON KRISTA Finally Robinson pulls his gaze away from Ned's shenanigans, and returns to the job of counting Krista's fall. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But the fans' mood is deflated when Moneymaker pops out of the pin. COLE So close! So close! Folks, we have to take a commercial break, but we'll be back with more of our mainevent after this! COMMERCIAL Our return from break brings us to the billionaire launching Miss California into the ropes. As she retreats towards the cables his body sags from exhaustion, and it looks like he lacks the strength to even remain upright. Thankfully for he and his underlings, he possesses enough health to duck bellow Krista's incoming yakuza kick! Despite the avoidance, the sound of shoe mangling flesh is heard loud and clear as Krista's boot impacts with Robinson's face. As if he were pierced with a bullet, Robinson slumps downward and all the expression is torn from his visage. Feeling a touch of maternal pity for the ref's mishap, Krista tries to rouse him back to life. This moment to play doctor, allows a dizzied Moneymaker to scrape his carcass off the canvas. Weakened by weariness, the Enterprise czar wobbles in place, seemingly unable to move his legs forward. Yet moments later is entire body is moved forward and through the air, due to Krista's sexy toned legs coming together to blast him over the ropes with a spinning wheel kick! Joined by the incredible cheers of the onlookers, the big shot's two hundred thirty pounds plummet to the outside mat like a boulder, and land with the harsh thud of one as well. COACH Naw, that ain't true hip-hop! Ned, Simon, G'up and do work! Do work! While the crowd continues to delight in their hated villain's downfall, Krissy has moved on to even more painful methods in which bring about his demise. Her weapon of choice happens to be the busted and misshapen stop sign Moneymaker tortured her with. The hilarious irony not at all lost on her, Krista giggles with some kind of devilishly girlish glee as she raises the weapon high above her head. “WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, BABY, YOU GONNAAAAA DIEEEEEEEE!” Krista sings. “DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH MONEYMAKER!” the fans cry, urging for his bloody defeat. And a grizzly end they shall receive, as the former Guns N Roses dancer obliterates her enemy's spine with a trio of shots from the stop sign. Every crack of his bones calls out deep throated roars from Moneymaker's face, and screams of joy from the audience. While they could spend the next hour watching Krista confine him to a wheelchair with her sadistic offense, Krista isn't content to merely bash him with a sign. Thus she brings his limp figure off the mat and shoves him into the ring. Cursed with fear and grogginess, Moneymaker can only lie on the ground incapable of doing anything more then weakly croaking for assistance. His weak calls are answered by the Blonds who act as rabid hounds, swarming on Krissy like a piece of tasty meat. They trap her on the outside with a firestorm of punches, chops, and forearms that bring the glamor girl to her knees in agony. Not wishing to be denied her chance to inflict harm on Krista, Mackenzie savages her back with a blast from a steel chair! A flash of scorching hot pain screams across Krista's body after the shot, and her loud whimpering draws a cruel smile onto Mackenzie's face. “B-H-B WE RUNNIN' THIS OAOAST SHIT! K-I-D GET GUNNED UP AND CLAPPED QUICK!” Simon shouts in classic middle aged white guy trying to be cool voice. Stay in ya pocket, Bill Simmons. “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” Following the sharply stated orders of Mackenzie, The Blonds guide Krista onto sofa central's announce table. The announce team is immobilized by shock, fearful over what The Enterprise has planned for the OAOAST's most popular female. However, Mackenzie DeCenzo reckless swinging of her chair spurs them to seek safer ground away from the announce table. COLE This is nuts! Are you out of your mind, woman? What's wrong with you animals?! With Mackie angrily running crowd control, The Blonds devote themselves to the service of bringing Moneymaker back to health. With boldly stated promises that Krista's end is near, they renew his fighting spirit. He uses the ropes to begin pulling himself upright, and spots Krista lying prone on the announce table. That, along with the anxious bawling of the audience is like a life potion, invigorating Moneymaker to climb onto the top rope. There the hatred of the fans reaches its highest point, and they blast Moneymaker with every insult, and every profanity their minds can entertain. None of this, not even the encouraging cheers of The Blonds matters. His sole focus is on the KO'ed woman on the announce table, and the magnificent attack he'll use to put her out the OAOAST. COLE Moneymaker on the top rope! What the hell is he planning? Wowing a begrudging audience with rarely seen agility Moneymaker departs the top rope with his body extended to its full six feet and three inches. Camera flashes litter the air, encasing his descending figure in a harsh white glow. There's a moment of awed silence before terrified screams flood the arena when he crashes through Krista, shattering both her and the announce table on half. COLE Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! The reaction of the sold out crowd is similar to Cole, many left wondering how the two competitors involved in that high risk attack will even be able to walk after the match. Simon has has the same concerns and floats above the blanked face of Moneymaker, repeatedly inquiring on his health. Getting no response from Moneymaker definitely does not set Simon at ease and he begins slapping him in the face to wake him up. Buried beneath the charred wreckage of the announce table is Krista, body absent of any signs of life, making her a prefect target for Mackenzie's outraged tirade of put downs. COLE We have to get medical attention out here, as soon as possible! Come on! COACH Forget docs and paramedics we got to get a replay on this bitch! Wowing a begrudging audience with rarely seen agility Moneymaker departs the top rope with his body extended to its full six feet and three inches. Camera flashes litter the air, encasing his descending figure in a harsh white glow. There's a moment of awed silence before terrified screams flood the arena when he crashes through Krista, shattering both her and the announce table on half. Back from replay signs of life remain frustratingly foreign from both competitors. Concern for Moneymaker's health is understandably low amongst the audience, and their time isn't spent celebrating his self orchestrated expiration, but trying to will Krista towards movement. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Finally they're given some movement by the target of their love. But its not the kind of movement they'd been searching for. Ned Blanchard pulls her free of the crash sight and deposits her into the ring. Behind him Mackenzie is assisting Simon in doing a similar thing for Moneymaker. Once they have their downtrodden leader on his feet they gently escort him into the ring. With Krista sprawled out in a state of battered weakness, Moneymaker sees her in an opportune positioned to be pinned. As his every movement feels like chunks of flesh are being ripped off his body, he slowly lurches his arm forward and drapes it across Krista's chest for a pinfall... COLE This has to be it. ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out of certain defeat, drawing a grandoise shout of happiness from the audience. Their noise level is amazing, a huge outpouring of cheers and chants, all with the single task of bringing about a victory for the walk of famer. For his part Moneymaker can't even offer his customary gripe about the count. He's far to tied up in the complete collapse of his energy, as his head seems to glued to the mat, and his keeping his eyes open is a battle to difficult to be worth fighting. On the outside The Blonds and Mackenzie can't believe the failure they've been witness to, and tromp around the ring with hands held on hips and heads shaking in disgust. COLE How much more can these two take? They're the furtherest thing removed what you would consider hardcore wrestlers, yet here they are with stop signs, wine bottles, microphones and broken announce table. All because they hate each other so much. Fearing that his boss may have reached the beginning of what could be a very bloody end, Simon elevates himself onto the top rope to capture the attention of Robinson. As BOSS distracts him with complaints on his shoddy refereeing, Ned is able to slide into the ring with the monitor from the destroyed announce table in hand. COLE Get him out of there! COACH All is fair in this type of match, Cole. All is fair! Salivating with the insane glee of a hyena, Ned waves his monitor in the air as he waits for Miss California to stand. Once she begins moving upright, Blanchard can maintain his patience no longer and zeros in on her with his weapon. The pop of the audience is gigantic when the Los Angelina ducks beneath his approaching attack! Unable to slam on the breaks in time, The Handsome Hustler reduces Moneymaker's face into a bloody wreck with his wildly swung weapon! “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE I don't know if Jade's watching this backstage, but she's got to love every moment of pain that Moneymaker goes through! Standing over Moneymaker's bleeding face Ned bemoans his grave error, “SON OF A BITC..” But his feelings of guilt are smashed away by feelings of immense pain thanks to Krista dropkicking him through the ropes! Ned is out of sight and out of mind for the audience, who now count along with Krista's pinfall.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But Mackie snatches Moneymaker out the jaws of defeat by lifting his boot onto the ring rope. This does not sit well with the audience, and they pepper her with derogatory chants. Equally as annoyed with Mackenzie's intrusions is Krista, and she dismounts Moneymaker in hopes of delivering a beating to this vexatious tormentor. But her hopes are dashed by a sneak clothesline from Simon Singleton! As the crowd shifts their rage from Mackie to him, BOSS quickly drags Moneymaker onto Krista. Robinson counts the ensuing pin, and the audience holds their breath in fear. ONE! COLE Come on, Krista. Kick out! TWO! Robinson's hand is mere centimeters away from tagging the mat for a crucial third time, but Krista continues to battle on, ripping her shoulder away from the canvas. The fans are ecstatic, many high fiving and hugging each other in celebration of Krista's resiliency. But that resiliency looks to soon be tested in a most gruesome manner; Ned Blanchard has retrieved a table from beneath the ring and orders Simon to ready Krista to be put through it. Shockingly to Blanchard, there's a solid cheer from the stands as he positions the table on the outside of the ring. Within moments he's exposed to the reason for the giddiness of the audience, as The Christ Air Express overwhelm him with a furious cascade of punches! COLE The Christ Air Express have arrived! And if you've watched Syndicated lately you surely know the problem they have with The Beverly Hills Blonds and The Enterprise! COLE These cupcake mouth Canadian Bacon lookin Rob&Big ass stank crackers! This ain't Syndicated, this is the HeldDOWN mainevent, get em outta here! Joining Ned on the outside, Simon attempts to do just that. He trades shots with the Canadian boys but is little match for their numbers advantage, and he's beaten into a ¾ inverted facelock from MARV. As the fans root him on, MARV charges forward and bounds up the ring apron. He back flips off, sailing over the table, before gravity begins pulling him downwards. That's when BOSS is driven through the table, left a debased husk beneath the ruin of wood and steel. His cries are constant and immediate but can't be heard over the applause of the spectators. COLE Look out Enterprise because the same thing could be awaiting you at Anglemania in Krista's hometown of Los Angeles. Speaking of the California Girl, she's back on her feet waiting for Moneymaker to stand so that she may saw him in two with a spear. Problematically, the other blond California babe, Mackenzie DeCenzo, resides on the ring apron near turnbuckle with steel chair in hand. But, thanks to a warning from the helpful fans, the buxom sex kitten has no trouble in evading Mackie's attack! She flourishes her heels forward and throws the chair into Mackenzie's face with an axe kick! COLE Oh yeah! Mackie is blasted off the apron, a sight that's certain to send the fans home happy no matter what the outcome of the match! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH You've done more then enough to Mackenzie, you monster! Where's Alix? Where's Alix? In hopes of catching Krista off guard, Moneymaker lowers his shoulder and charges full speed ahead! But, Miss California's heels shuffle her away at the last possible moment, and the billionaire is left to crash his attacking limb into the cold steel of the ring post. He screams like he just had an arm amputated as he sags down to the mat. Needing to both tone her upper body and humiliate Moneymaker, Krista stretches her body across the mat in push up position. Unfortunately for Moneymaker, he becomes enlisted in her unusual workout routine, as she captures Moneymaker within her powerful thighs. With no escape on the horizon for Moneymaker, Krista's sexy legs combine with her push ups to repeatedly smash his head into the ring floor. The fans sit envious of Moneymaker, his head massaged by her silken skin. Then sit sympathetic of him, his face mutilated by her creative attack. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the fans chant as Krista lets Moneymaker go free and gracefully bows to their admiration. COACH That is both the greatest and worst move that can ever happen to you. Grousing in both frustration and misery, Moneymaker yanks himself off the canvas. Unfortunately he's treated to the troubling image of Krista's shapely body spring boarding off the nearby ropes. Before he can properly prepare an avoidance her arms are coiling around his neck, and her body begins twisting him around for a tornado DDT! But Moneymaker manages to gather up enough wits to counter her high flying attack and flings her backwards with a bridged Northern Lights Suplex! Robinson counts the fall... ONE! TWO! Again Krista refuses to stay down and the fans are absolutely thrilled as a result. Moneymaker doesn't quite share in their enthusiasm for his failure, and hauls Krista upright where he throws a series of punches towards her heavenly stomach. Annoyed by having her body treated like a workout bag, Krista ends the charade altogether by whipping the superstar into the ropes. She lowers her head as Moneymaker returns from the cables, but the man leapfrogs the four time tag team champion and lands behind her. He twirls around to knock her head into the third row with a discus punch, but Krissy counters the strike by stunning him with an inverted atomic drop! He clutches his groin, and screams out in sizable pain, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. Their soon given even more to cheer about as Krista winds up and annihilates his nose with a superkick! COLE Krista's Great California Adventure! Eyes rolled into the back of his head, Moneymaker topples over into the ring ropes. But they're inhospitable hosts and violently thrust him back towards his archenemy. Unable to offer a proper defense against Krista, Moneymaker is halted in place by her hands stretching over his shoulder and coming together across his neck. The already standing fans let out another monstrous roar, heralding the arrival of Krista's finisher. COLE Here it comes! But, Moneymaker delays both the fans and Cole's joy by suddenly sweeping out of Krista's clutches and elevating her onto his broad shoulders! COACH And there it goes! “BWAHAHAAHAHA!” he screams, thinking he's finally outwitted Krista. But Krista's smooth baby oil soaked skin, slides her right off Moneymaker's shoulders, to the immense pleasure of the spectators. Affording Moneymaker no chance to mount another reversal, Krista sweeps him downwards with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse X-Factor)! “YEAAAAAAA!” With her bubble gum pink lips curling into an enthusiastic smile, Krista stretches forward and hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! MONEYMAKER KICKS OUT! “BOOOOOOO!” COLE What?! I don't believe it! How did he do that? COACH Theodore Moneymaker can do anything! Krista rips Moneymaker off the canvas, and is immediately placed under fire from a foursome of punches from The CEO of The Enterprise. Having weakened her with his striking, Moneymaker sangs her into a front facelock. His hands hook onto her bootyrrific tights, and drag her into the air for a brainbuster! But Krista thrills the crowd and upsets her rival, when she speedily slithers free of his clutches. Outraged with her escape, Moneymaker whirls around with an elbow smash. But the foxy mama catches Theodore's attacking arm and shoots him into the far corner. As he runs to the posts, Krista takes her own journey to the ropes, timing it so that when he staggers out of the corner she is able to plant him with a facecrusher! Miss California puts an exclamation on Moneymaker's continued annihilation, when she sprints to the edge of the ring, and ascends to the highest cable. The ropes work as a launching pad, shooting her lionsaulting figure directly towards her fallen foe. She impacts precisely onto his flabby stomach, robbing Theodore of whatever wind or energy remained in his body Monyemaker screams like a madman, his raspy cries of despair joining the deliriously happy scream of the crowd in one final moment of communion. Robinson administers the resulting count, while the Denver crowd prays to the heaven's above that Moneymaker will be kept down for three pivotal seconds CROWD ONE! Ned slides into the ring! CROWD TWO! But he's pulled out by MARV and MEL! CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! Yes! God yes! A resonating shout of celebration from the audience rocks the arena to it's very foundation. As Hot seeps out of the speakers, the fans high five each other, acting as if they were ones on the verge of losing to Moneymaker. Buffer rises from his chair, preparing his voice to be heard over the deafening swell of noise. BUFFER Your winner....MISS CALIFORNIA, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! COLE First a Star on The Walk of Fame, then besting your hated enemy in a no disqualification match, and in two weeks performing in your hometown at Anglemania! March has been one hell of a month for Krista Isadora Duncan! COACH Boy stop, just stop! That Anglemania performance comes against her ex-girlfriend you can bet those cholos in LA gonna be biggin up Alix a lot more then they will Kris. You can trust to that. And Moneymaker may have lost the battle tonight, but when Anglemania rolls around that's a G that's gonna win the war. Trust to that. Trust to that. Reveling in the flood of of cheers and appreciation paid to her by her loyal fanbase, Krista leans over the ropes shooting them her alluring and glimmering smile. Once she gets her fill of delighting one side of the Pepsi Center she turns around to enthrall the other. DIAMOND CUTTER BY ALIX! COLE Woah! COACH Yo! The fans aren't certain how to react or which girl to pay alliance to. Thus their swelling of noise emerges as a raucous jumbled mess. Its one that's lost one the mind of Alix Maria Spezia, who's can focus on nothing more beyond the busted body of her former lady love. The expression on Alix's face is disturbingly blank, one of a dull and terrible emptiness. And its chilling image is what we see before we... FADE OUT Edited March 22, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2008 for ur post show entertainment plz enjoi this GOAT Maury Quotable (to some fat 12 year old) "You can't be proud of having sex for a double cheeseburger with bacon" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
