Ongoing Impact spoilers for 4/24

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

From PWI

 

Impact:

 

*Booker T calls out Sting and apologizes to him for disrespecting him last week. Robert Roode and James Storm get involved and it ends up becoming a tag match main event later in the show.

 

*Jim Cornette announces there will be a "Deuces Wild" tournament for the held-up TNA Tag Team championships that will culminate at the Sacrifice PPV. Four teams will meet over the next two weeks and eight singles competitors will also be paired up at random as well. Very confusing.

 

*Deuces Wild Qualification: Team 3D defeated Black Reign & Rellik. 3D were playing babyface roles.

 

*Backstage, Jim Cornette tells all the TNA Knockouts to meet him in the ring.

 

*It appears the tournament is 8 teams win qualifying rounds then face 4 teams comprised of randomly selected singles competitors.

 

*Deuces Wild Qualification: Christian Cage and Rhino defeat the Motor City Machineguns in a good match.

 

*The TNA Knockouts come to the ring. Jim Cornette announces a "Makeover Battle Royal" for the Sacrifice PPV. The last two competitors will compete right then in a Ladder Match. The winner is the person who grabs a Knockouts title shot contract from above the Ring. The loser will have their head shaved in a "Britney Spears Makeover."

 

*Booker T and Sting defeated Robert Roode and James Storm.

 

*TNA champion Samoa Joe defeated Kurt Angle after Scott Steiner hit Angle with a pipe after a referee bump. Jim Cornette announced there would be a three-way at Sacrifice.

 

Xplosion:

 

*Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt defeated Johnny Devine & Petey Williams.

[Silence 0]

*The TNA Knockouts come to the ring. Jim Cornette announces a "Makeover Battle Royal" for the Sacrifice PPV. The last two competitors will compete right then in a Ladder Match. The winner is the person who grabs a Knockouts title shot contract from above the Ring. The loser will have their head shaved in a "Britney Spears Makeover."

 

TNA found a way to officially fuck up the Knockouts division.

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Christy Hemme is going bald.

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

*The TNA Knockouts come to the ring. Jim Cornette announces a "Makeover Battle Royal" for the Sacrifice PPV. The last two competitors will compete right then in a Ladder Match. The winner is the person who grabs a Knockouts title shot contract from above the Ring. The loser will have their head shaved in a "Britney Spears Makeover."

 

TNA found a way to officially fuck up the Knockouts division.

It gets worse.

[MillenniumMan831 0]

It's so stupid since common sense would have most of the women eliminate themselves so they don't risk the haircut. Fuck a title shot.

[The Truthiness 0]

I'm surprised, you people are surprised , at how surprisingly dumb TNA can be

[Hawk 34 0]

While the stuff with the Knockouts is moronic but let's not overlook the continuation of the insane stupidity with the tag titles.

[DangerousDamon 0]

Are the Guns still in the doghouse?

[Jingus 0]

*The TNA Knockouts come to the ring. Jim Cornette announces a "Makeover Battle Royal" for the Sacrifice PPV. The last two competitors will compete right then in a Ladder Match. The winner is the person who grabs a Knockouts title shot contract from above the Ring. The loser will have their head shaved in a "Britney Spears Makeover."

Words cannot express how much I hate this fucking company. Going from the fine wrestling show that was Lockdown to bullshit like this?! They can somehow snatch defeat from the jaws of victory every goddamn time. I hate them with every inch of my body, from my balls up. I HATE THEM FROM MY BALLS.

 

Shaving a woman's head is never funny, or cute, and it never leads to anything worth watching (unless it involves Nagayo/Matsumoto). It was horrible when WWE did it, it was horrible when WOW did it, and it's gonna suck big floppy donkey dick here. Especially since I truly like most of the women in the division, and defacing pretty much any of them is guaranteed to piss me off.

 

...well, unless it's one of the Amateur Porn Twins, Angelina or Velvet. They're useless. If TNA actually goes through with this offenseive bullshit, hopefully one of them will be taking the bullet.

[Silence 0]

It's seriously sad how we read about TNA supposedly going in a "serious direction", then they pull bullshit like this after Lockdown.

[cabbageboy 0]

With the goofy Knockouts angle and the tag situation let's not overlook the total brainfart that is the main event scene. Why on earth did Steiner get involved in that match? What did his run in accomplish that was good for his cause? If he had just left things alone and watched the match play out, he gets Joe or Angle 1 on 1. Instead he runs in and causes a controversial finish, and thus leaves Cornette the option to insert Angle in a 3 way. Steiner is the only guy dumb enough to actually have a MITB and not even cash it in for a 1 on 1 match. Instead he could have wasted his chance and not even be involved in the finish.

 

All of this just so we can have Angle dick around in yet ANOTHER PPV main event? They can't just stick him with Christian, Rhino, Booker, Sting, etc.? TNA has a stacked upper card roster, they don't need to do crap like this.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Steiner clearly wanted Joe. He didn't want to chance Angle beating Joe on Impact and having the match switched around. It's not that complicated to understand. Steiner was screwed either way. If Joe lost, he'd want a rematch clause, and probably would have been inserted in the Sacrifice match between Angle and Steiner. Steiner probably didn't anticipate Cornette putting Angle in the match as a result of his interference. He doesn't think those things through.

[Scroby 0]

*The TNA Knockouts come to the ring. Jim Cornette announces a "Makeover Battle Royal" for the Sacrifice PPV. The last two competitors will compete right then in a Ladder Match. The winner is the person who grabs a Knockouts title shot contract from above the Ring. The loser will have their head shaved in a "Britney Spears Makeover."

Words cannot express how much I hate this fucking company. Going from the fine wrestling show that was Lockdown to bullshit like this?! They can somehow snatch defeat from the jaws of victory every goddamn time. I hate them with every inch of my body, from my balls up. I HATE THEM FROM MY BALLS.

 

Shaving a woman's head is never funny, or cute, and it never leads to anything worth watching (unless it involves Nagayo/Matsumoto). It was horrible when WWE did it, it was horrible when WOW did it, and it's gonna suck big floppy donkey dick here. Especially since I truly like most of the women in the division, and defacing pretty much any of them is guaranteed to piss me off.

 

...well, unless it's one of the Amateur Porn Twins, Angelina or Velvet. They're useless. If TNA actually goes through with this offenseive bullshit, hopefully one of them will be taking the bullet.

Maybe one of the women want to shave their hair and this might be the way for TNA to pull it off without having to explain to much. Remember when Raven wanted to it? He basically had TNA do the Hair vs Hair (?) match so he could have a reason why his head was shaved.

[Timmy8271 0]

Why would a woman want her head shaved unless she's getting a hell of a pay deal out of it? My guess is Melissa and it won't hurt her character so much. Hopefully it turns her face and she can get rid of that stupid outfit.

[Diablo_Dor 0]

What annoys me more than anything else is that, I

hope to God they weren't stupid (??) enough to mention Britney 15 Months after she did the Head Shaving.

The media has moved on to Miley Cyrus do they not watch South Park?

this is as cutting edge as mentioning John Kerry in a Presidential Nomination gimmick, dear God it is assinine.

 

I hope Britneys' people sue the pants (pun intended) off the company if her name is mentioned at all.

 

Other than that, are we getting goofy partners that hate each other in the tournament? or is this an attempt to re-evaluate the tag division?

 

I hate the idea of overbooking Joe's first title defence and I truly despise the idea of shoe horning Angle into the main event, I accept that they didn't want to Job Angle out twice in "two" weeks but give new guy a chance to become solidified before ruining him. Or at leat have Petey attempt the interference because he is worried for his master that then backfires on Steiner instead of this stupid idea that Steiner would be scared of Kurt when I don't believe he has ever beaten Joe clean.

 

Two steps forward and 6 steps back I just don't understand this company.

[luke-o 0]

Right, lets review what annoys me.

 

*Deuces Wild Qualification: Team 3D defeated Black Reign & Rellik. 3D were playing babyface roles.

 

So wait, they we're arguing yesterday (or last week) and now they're babyfaces? I mean I'm glad they appear to have scapped the split, but thats just plain retarded.

 

 

*Deuces Wild Qualification: Christian Cage and Rhino defeat the Motor City Machineguns in a good match.

 

So the tournament states that singles wrestlers will be paired together in the next round, so why in the hell are Christian and Rhino in the first round? There are plenty of tag teams in TNA, why use a "team" that have had one match together in recent history? And then why put them over a well established team? Urgh...

 

 

*The TNA Knockouts come to the ring. Jim Cornette announces a "Makeover Battle Royal" for the Sacrifice PPV. The last two competitors will compete right then in a Ladder Match. The winner is the person who grabs a Knockouts title shot contract from above the Ring. The loser will have their head shaved in a "Britney Spears Makeover."

 

Out of everything there, that last bit annoys me. Battle Royal - fine. Ladder Match with the winner getting a title shot - a bit much, but fine. Loser get's their head shaved - now we're in the ocean of shittiness. But calling it a "Britney Spears Makeover" - now the ocean of shitiness is overflowing and there's no sign of a rescue boat.

 

Is it too much to ask for TNA to follow up 4 weeks of good Impacts and a decent PPV with some more of the same?

 

At least Joe didn't job the title back just after he won it ala Sting and Rhino.

[Diablo_Dor 0]

Also why is there no Petey, Lethal or Dutt?

That should be at least mentioned

[cabbageboy 0]

I don't buy that Steiner crap. In the past he's shown no particular preference over who he would rather face between Joe/Angle, so why bother with the run in? Let these guys pulverize each other, then cash in. In fact why is Steiner such a moron that he flat out announced when he was cashing in? Wouldn't it make more sense to just cash in AFTER the Joe/Angle rematch when both men are tired? Instead he does an ill advised run in without even thinking that whoever he screwed would have a valid argument to be in a rematch. And further, why doesn't Steiner simply pull out and now say he'd rather save his shot for later when it would be 1 on 1? The way this comes off makes Steiner look like an idiot for running in and costing himself a 1 on 1 match, and it sorta buries Joe since Steiner screwed Angle to avoid facing Kurt, thinking (I'm assuming) that Joe is an easier match.

 

That idea of Petey doing a misguided run in makes more sense, with Steiner now frustrated at having to be in a 3 way. But this booking reminds me entirely too much of the way Jarrett used to be booked, with guys doing illogical and stupid shit at every turn in order to justify keeping JJ in the main event.

 

 

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Except Steiner was cutting promos on JOE, I think even as far back as before Joe even won the belt. Steiner also isn't working a Lanny Poffo "Genius" gimmick. He's a roided musclehead who doesn't think things through. Combined with the ego he has, he probably is fine with the inclusion of Angle. He probably thinks he could beat both.

[cabbageboy 0]

Oh I certainly recall the Joe/Steiner feud, but bear in mind that Steiner has also feuded with Angle since then. In fact he jobbed to both men. I never gave Steiner credit for being a brain, but anyone would know that you cash in a MITB type briefcase in a match condusive to winning.

[luke-o 0]

I don't buy that Steiner crap. In the past he's shown no particular preference over who he would rather face between Joe/Angle, so why bother with the run in? Let these guys pulverize each other, then cash in. In fact why is Steiner such a moron that he flat out announced when he was cashing in? Wouldn't it make more sense to just cash in AFTER the Joe/Angle rematch when both men are tired? Instead he does an ill advised run in without even thinking that whoever he screwed would have a valid argument to be in a rematch. And further, why doesn't Steiner simply pull out and now say he'd rather save his shot for later when it would be 1 on 1? The way this comes off makes Steiner look like an idiot for running in and costing himself a 1 on 1 match, and it sorta buries Joe since Steiner screwed Angle to avoid facing Kurt, thinking (I'm assuming) that Joe is an easier match.

 

That idea of Petey doing a misguided run in makes more sense, with Steiner now frustrated at having to be in a 3 way. But this booking reminds me entirely too much of the way Jarrett used to be booked, with guys doing illogical and stupid shit at every turn in order to justify keeping JJ in the main event.

 

Because Steiner is not a chicken shit heel. He thinks he can take on anyone at anytime.

[cd213 0]

I don't buy that Steiner crap. In the past he's shown no particular preference over who he would rather face between Joe/Angle, so why bother with the run in? Let these guys pulverize each other, then cash in. In fact why is Steiner such a moron that he flat out announced when he was cashing in? Wouldn't it make more sense to just cash in AFTER the Joe/Angle rematch when both men are tired? Instead he does an ill advised run in without even thinking that whoever he screwed would have a valid argument to be in a rematch. And further, why doesn't Steiner simply pull out and now say he'd rather save his shot for later when it would be 1 on 1? The way this comes off makes Steiner look like an idiot for running in and costing himself a 1 on 1 match, and it sorta buries Joe since Steiner screwed Angle to avoid facing Kurt, thinking (I'm assuming) that Joe is an easier match.

 

That idea of Petey doing a misguided run in makes more sense, with Steiner now frustrated at having to be in a 3 way. But this booking reminds me entirely too much of the way Jarrett used to be booked, with guys doing illogical and stupid shit at every turn in order to justify keeping JJ in the main event.

 

Because Steiner is not a chicken shit heel. He thinks he can take on anyone at anytime.

 

Not just that, but it's been done to death already.

[luke-o 0]

It's bad enough they had Williams do it.

[bob_barron 0]

Maybe one of the women want to shave their hair and this might be the way for TNA to pull it off without having to explain to much. Remember when Raven wanted to it? He basically had TNA do the Hair vs Hair (?) match so he could have a reason why his head was shaved.

 

Raven's a guy

[Jingus 0]

And iirc, Raven wanted to shave his head as part of his feud with CM Punk in ROH, but TNA put the kibosh on that.

[cabbageboy 0]

Of course the notion of a heel cashing in a MITB shot after two guys are beaten up is a tired concept....but then why did TNA do the same briefcase angle that WWE has done, and also why have a heel win it in order to set up that exact same scenario?

 

See, the thing is why not just give Steiner his one on one title match? What, is adding Angle going to improve the buyrate or something? It's not like they can't go back to Joe/Angle at some point in the future, but just do something else right now. People don't HAVE to have rematches constantly. In fact it's much better when they don't get one, or if they do get one it's like a year later (Andre vs. Hogan II was almost a year after WM III).

 

WWE does this all the time and it cheapens major matches. That's the problem with these jobber PPVs like Backlash and Judgment Day, it's the same crap we just saw at WM. Now TNA is going down this same road of keeping the same guys on top, even though unlike WWE they actually have a variety of options on top.

[Boner Kawanger 0]

I rarely, if ever, post about TNA, but I've found myself watching it every week. Not that I like it; there's a perverse enjoyment to how stupid every aspect of the show can be. I say this because I think I figured out why Team 3D went from arguing heels to babyfaces.

 

Because if they're going to feud, one of them HAS to SWERVE the other. This is how TNA works at its core. Get from point A to point B by any means necessary, even if it means changing things without warning or explanation. Only in TNA's case, they're at point 1 trying to get to point B, which is on another fucking map.

 

I can't wait for tomorrow night.

[Jingus 0]

This is how TNA works at its core. Get from point A to point B by any means necessary, even if it means changing things without warning or explanation. Only in TNA's case, they're at point 1 trying to get to point B, which is on another fucking map.

This is maybe the single most succinct yet accurate description of TNA and Russo's apparent booking philosophy.

[The Truthiness 0]

Of course the notion of a heel cashing in a MITB shot after two guys are beaten up is a tired concept....but then why did TNA do the same briefcase angle that WWE has done, and also why have a heel win it in order to set up that exact same scenario?

 

See, the thing is why not just give Steiner his one on one title match? What, is adding Angle going to improve the buyrate or something? It's not like they can't go back to Joe/Angle at some point in the future, but just do something else right now. People don't HAVE to have rematches constantly. In fact it's much better when they don't get one, or if they do get one it's like a year later (Andre vs. Hogan II was almost a year after WM III).

 

WWE does this all the time and it cheapens major matches. That's the problem with these jobber PPVs like Backlash and Judgment Day, it's the same crap we just saw at WM. Now TNA is going down this same road of keeping the same guys on top, even though unlike WWE they actually have a variety of options on top.

 

Edit: They do? I swore they just had Angle, Christian and Joe at top.

[luke-o 0]

They did, only now Christian's not in the title picture. And saying that, Joe hasn't been either for ages. At least now they've added Steiner into the frame just to freshen things up. Sure they added Angle again too, but it's better than having Joe v Angle again.