Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 9, 2008 Ay yo, first off b i have some words second...now word 2 blood, im a thoro West LA niigga. im a hollywood trendsetta on a US, People type steelz. the style, swag, clothes ,attitude goes gawdy...365..nah mean?? being from LA u gottta have swag b....i mean imagine a nigga like me in that lexus half past quatro looking all flavafull with them gucci frames covering my brown eyes....thats swag rite there. not alotta niggas can pull that off...ya know?? third....do bitches get jealous when they see a niggaa dressin betta than they are. just a minute back i was out chillen at Goa all gucci dappa danned upped....u would have swore i was santa clause wit all that red b...and this sunset tan lookin chick gonna say u hot as hell but why u going so hard???? im like mush mouth ass trick fuck from round me n be happy u even around me...smell me?? its like bitch don't hate because my kitchen is smoother than urs, don't hate because my smell is something similar to a botanical rose garden on heaven's doorstep, don't hate because my skin just happens to be this pretty. I'm just a gorgeous type nigga, dig?Even still i drop much respect on a pure balla...King Cucaracha.....dude is straight from the money make...you wont find another shorty with the swag like mine, but he comes close, he aint run of the mill he run da mill. his hustle is platinum status and we pay respeccs. YEAH KC MORE THEN A BIG BROTHER, U WERE LIKE THE DAD THE DAD I NEVER HAD AND EVEN THO I DIDNT HAVE A MOTHER YOU WERE THERE TO HELP HOLD MY HAND. THIS WAS THE 1ST IMAGE THAT CAME UP WHEN I SEARCHED FOR KING CUCHRACHA. FROM A TSM THREAD, KC PICKS HIS HOTTEST FEMALE WRESTLER: SMH! THAT AIN'T A DIME THAT'S A PENNY WITH A HOLE IN IT! BUT WE STILL GOT LOVE 4 OUR ENGLISH BROTHER,B. no need for any introductions from the announcers, or any writing from me because i don't even know what country we're in anymore. "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, here comes the... well, the co-number one contender, I suppose. The Birmingham fans give Landon Maddix a typically rude reception as he walks through the entrance way, but it's clear that he couldn't care less tonight. With a beaming smile on his face Landon soaks up the adulation inside his head for a moment or two, before striding to the ring boasting of his newly won place in the School's Out main-event. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Megan catching up to her man and holding the ropes open for him, Landon lets the boos of the crowd breeze right past him. He spins into the ring and strikes a triumphant pose, indicating that he's 'number one'. Number one, co-number one, same thing I guess. COLE Landon set for another of his open challenges which, so far, haven't troubled the membership numbers of Cucaracha Internacional. Hardly the kind of prepation you'd expect from a number one contender. COACH Hey, you're looking at the busiest man in pro-wrestling! Give him a break. COLE The what? COACH Busiest man in wrestling. Landon's got his commitments for the OAOAST, he's in charge of moulding Cucaracha Internacional into the stars of tommorrow, he's the Commissioner of the SWF. The guy spends more time in airports than your average airline pilot! Hell, last week he was in Nova Scotia on Tuesday for an SWF show, then jumped right on a plane and flew to Italy for The Milan Spectacular on Friday... and he STILL beat Todd Cortez! COLE By disqualification. Back in the ring and Landon, to the disdain of the crowd, has got the STICK~ MADDIX School's Out is just two and a half weeks away... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH What the hell does that have to do with School's Out!? MADDIX If you people don't quit that right now, I'll make sure we never bring the SWF over here! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Okay, done. Now, back to School's Out, which as I said before is just two and a half weeks away. Incase any of you missed it here in the backwaters of the United Kingdom, there has been a change to your originally scheduled programming. See, as of last week, I'm back where I belong! Back in the main event. Todd Cortez may well be the 'official' number one contender. But since he failed to defeat me last week, he's still a member of Cucaracha Internacional. His Riot Act Plus is still banned in the OAOAST. And he's going to be sharing his number one contendership with the man who made it all possible... me! COLE Which is all a travesty if you ask me. COACH I'm not sure I did. MADDIX Now I could spend the next five... maybe ten minutes talking about what a great job I did last week, how I beat Todd Cortez one on one yet again, just like I did at AngleMania, just like I did in Hawaii last year, et cetera, et cetera. I could claim that the victory was all down to me. But I would be remiss if I didn't thank somebody else. That somebody else being our very own World Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon scowls a little. MADDIX PR, when I first saw you sitting at ringside yapping away into your mic as you tend to do, I'm not afraid to admit I was a little worried. Maybe I should have given you more credit. Another startling revelation for you all... Tha Puerto Rican is not as dumb as he looks, ladies and gentlemen. Underneath the catchphrases and the... more catchphrases, there is productive thought going on inside of that head. See, I was worried for no reason. PRL thought it through, he thought all the connotations and all the different scenarios through. And PRL, you made the right choice. I'm sure, deep down underneath this new nice-guy persona of yours, you know you made the right choice. Although, you'd never admit it. COLE Wait, is Landon saying that PRL deliberately got Cortez disqualified at the Milan Spectacular!? COACH Makes sense to me. MADDIX PR, the good news is, you won't have to worry about Todd Cortez and the Riot Act Plus at School's Out now. Of course, the bad news is, now you have to worry about me instead. Need I remind you that one of the reasons it took you so damn long to finally become World Champion is me? Need I remind you of AngleSlam? Or of Zero Hour? "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" MADDIX I've spent far too long caught up in something that should have been settled a long time ago. I tried to take the soft approach with Todd Cortez. A mistake. Look where it's gotten me. Nowhere. So now, I'm taking control of the situation. Come what may. Cortez, if this past week has proven anything, it's that you will follow my lead or suffer the consequences. No more false trust, no more second chances. You follow MY lead. And PR, get all the mileage out of your time as World Champion that you can. It's been a long road to the top. But now that I'm back in title contention, I can promise you it won't be a long stay there for you. Landon smiles, Megan applauding her man. MADDIX Now, with that out of the way, back to tonight. Over the past few weeks I've been offering up the chance to a lucky local wrestler to make themself a star at my expense. The chance of a lifetime. One, to meet Landon Maddix. Two, to wrestle Landon Maddix. Three, to compete on worldwide television. And four, the chance to join Cucaracha Internacional should they beat me. But so far, lo and behold, nobody's beaten me. Nobody's even come close! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Looking confused, Landon turns to Megan who whispers something in his ear. MADDIX Ah. Okay. Well, we'll get to that in a second. Up until now, I've limited the competition to one country. And no country yet has been able to produce someone good enough to beat La Cucaracha, surprise surprise. So, now we come to England and I'm left with a dillemma. Cucaracha Internacional... we already have an Englishman in our ranks. The best English wrestler in the world, Nathaniel Black! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX So, tonight, rather than give someone false hope, I've decided to send a wave of that hope around Europe! Yes. Tonight, the Landon Maddix open challenge has been opened up to ALL of Europe. All of Europe, except Spain, of course. And England. So unfortunately, no Jamie O'Hara. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX No, instead, we reach out to the furthest reaches of Europe. The outer limits, where the OAOAST would never dare venture, or never bother to give any consideration to. Anyone, anywhere. The call was put out and tonight, I will take on not just a city's best, not just a country's best... but Europe's best! So with that in mind, let's bring out my challenger. Come on out, whoever you are, from whereever you are... Landon extends his arms openly to the entrance way... ...until "Know Your Role 2000" hits!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH What the hell? PRL isn't from Euro... The cheering from the Birmingham crowd quickly dies down a little, the moment that a masked man walks through the entrance way. Landon, who had looked pretty confused up until now, smiles a little. Stopping at the top of the stage, the man in a blue, white and red mask stops and "smells the electricity". The masked man's tights carry the flag of the Czech Republic, as does the back of his shoddy mask. COLE Oh my... it's... it's Tha Czech Republican!! COACH *slaps forehead* As 'Tha Czech Republican' walks to the ring in a very PRL manner, Landon watches on in amusement. Shaking his head he applauds mockingly as TCR stops and takes another smell of the mild electrical current in the air. COACH Look, Landon knows! He knows that's PRL under that mask and anyone with half a brain knows the same! COLE I don't know... is PRL that tall? COACH He's probably wearing extra insoles. It'd be about the most effort he'd have gone to to disguise himself as well. This is... just embarrassing! Up the steps climbs 'Tha Czech Republican', stepping into the ring and scaling the turnbuckles on one side with an arm raised. He doesn't go for any of the other turnbuckles however, as Landon Maddix stands in his way. 'Tha Czech Republican' sets himself ready for Landon to attack. But the co-number one contender holds up a hand to tell the masked man to calm down. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" 'Tha Czech Republican' turns his head to the crowd. MADDIX You have got to be kidding me. You're not even trying! Landon looks at the gear that his 'rookie' opponent is wearing, trying not to laugh. MADDIX Lemme guess. Tha Czech Republican, right? Reaching into his tights, Tha Czech Republican pulls out a fake eyebrow and sticks it to the spot of velcro on his mask over his right eye. COLE HAHAHAHAHAHA! COACH *slaps forehead* MADDIX I... oh, wha... okay! Okay PR, go ahead and humour me! We can all guess your name and I'm going to assume you're from whatever the capital of the Czech Republic is. Formalities, done. Now, if I know anything about Tha Czech Republican, I'm SURE you've got some snappy catchphrases that you wanna unload on me. So go ahead. I'm just DYING to hear this authentic Czech accent of yours, I really am. Say 'jabroni'. Go on. No, no, better yet, how about telling me you're going to, oh, I don't know, "lay the Czech down on my candy ass". Come on, don't be shy. No response from Tha Czech Republican and no move for the microphone. MADDIX Come on PR, it's not like you to be at a loss for words. Still no response. MADDIX Well, maybe you do things a little differently in The Czech Republic, I apologise. Here I am hogging the microphone. I really should be giving it to you, shouldn't I? Well, here goes... Having strolled across the ring while talking, Maddix suddenly charges with the microphone brandished and goes for the head of Tha Czech Republican. But the masked man ducks, catching Maddix as he turns around with a boot to the gut... ...pulling him into a standing headscissors... "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wait... WAIT, NO! ...AND SPIKING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A FRONTFLIP PILEDRIVER TO A BOOMING REACTION IN THE ARENA!!!! COLE ...CZECH REPUBLICAN DESTROYER!!! COACH NO! That's... THAT'S TODD CORTEZ!! COLE A minute ago you said it was PRL! Make up your mind! Maddix lays stricken on the canvas, with Megan wide-eyed in horror at what has just happened. Calling over the referee, Tha Czech Republican flips Landon over on his back and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Megan holds her head in her hands as "Know Your Role 2000" hits again, Tha Czech Republican standing over Landon who is completely out of it! BUFFER Here is your winner of the match... THA CZECH REPUBLICAN!!!! COACH THAT'S TODD CORTEZ! IT'S TODD CORTEZ!! GAAAHH!! Standing over Landon, Tha Czech Republican has dropped the PRL tribute act and stands stoicly over La Cucaracha. With no signs of movement from the co-number one contender, the masked man takes one last long look at Landon before he leaves. COLE You know what this means Coach? This means that Tha Czech Republican is the newest member of Cucaracha Internacional! COACH He's already a member because HE'S TODD CORTEZ!!!!! Megan slides into the ring and tries to revive Landon, who is still yet to move. COLE What was that you were saying about 'half a brain' earlier Coach? COACH Shut up. COMMERCIAL OAOAST SCHOOL'S OUT GAS PRICES ARE RISING. FOOD PRICES ARE RISING. THE VALUE OF THE DOLLAR IS DROPPING. THE END IS NEAR AND YOU HAVE NO HEALTH INSURANCE. WHAT WISER ECONOMIC CHOICE THAN TO SPEND FIFTY DOLLARS ON HOMO TUMBLING? WHY SEND YOUR KIDS TO COLLEGE ANYWAY? THEY'LL JUST WIND UP VOTING DEMOCRAT AND BUYING A HYBRID. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 9, 2008 COLE We saw Jock Mulligan stoop to an even lower level last week at The Milan Spectacular, with his actions on The Love Shack. After interrupted Maggie Nerdly, Jock managed to raise the ire of the usually mild-mannered Leon Rodez and it all broke down there. Leon was left laying and Maggie was humilated, thanks in part to the arrival of... well, a woman we'd never seen before. Since no OAOAST reporter wanted the job of talking to 'Mr. Dick', we allowed Jock to record some comments for himself. But first of all, let's take you back to The Love Shack and show you what happened. JOCK Listen Leon, I'm gonna say this to you real nice since as you said we go back a little way. I used to be that guy. But the Jock Mulligan you knew is GONE. That Jock Mulligan is gone. That Jock Mulligan was a pussy... (looks at Melody) ...and everybody knows, if you want success in this world, dicks can get places that pussies don't. That where I come in. I'm not just a dick, I'm Mr. Dick now. And I'm heading for success in this world, the success that I deserve to have! ****** JOCK Apparantly, I said that you weren't good for anything. Must have been in the heat of the moment. Because, now that I think about it, you are good for something... and that's opening your legs! Isn't that right, Leon!? MELODY ****** LEON You know, I think I speak for everybody when I say I've heard enough out of you Jock. So, I suggest you do us all a favour, turn tail, go dry yourself off for crying out loud and do whatever it is 'Mr. Dick' does of a night. Because, if you want to turn this into a dick-waving contest with Silky Smooth, I promise you it will not end well for you! COLE You tell him, Leon! Not appreciating being stood up to, Mr. Dick points a finger in Leon's face before turning and leavi... NO, Jock fakes Leon out and runs at him... BUT LEON CUTS HIM OFF WITH A SPEAR!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE HERE WE GO!! Leon and Jock go at it on the mat, exchanging lefts and rights with Leon on top. Still clearly torn Melody looks on for a few seconds, before deciding she should step in and trying to pull Leon off of Jock. But before she can do so, suddenly somebody slides into the ring and pulls her off of Leon. Melody is shocked and pretty soon she's fighting for breath, as the muscular woman who's slid in holds her in a rear choke, keeping her subdued. Leon finally notices Melody is trouble and tries to get over and help her... ...BUT JOCK LAYS HIM OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! COLE Who the hell is that woman!? Where did she even come from!? COACH If you don't know that by now, you're in more trouble than I thought Michael. The hysterical Melody is held back and forced to watch as Jock stomps him down until he's no longer moving. Jock turns over the seats onto his fallen body, then lays another boot to the back of the head. Jock then walks over to the desk, picking up what's left of Leon's pizza. He takes a slice, thinking about taking a bite... but doesn't want to ruin his physique with junk food, so instead SMUSHES THE PIZZA INTO THE FACE OF MELODY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE You dirty motherfu... COACH HEYHEY! Seeing this gives Leon a small burst of adrenaline, but too small to do anything. Jock kicks him back into grogginess before pulling him to his feet. The big Texan hoists Leon up onto his shoulders and sets him up, throwing him up in the air and bringing him down across both knees, as he did to Moracca earlier! COLE This is reprehensible! With Leon down and hurting, Jock calls the powerful woman off of Melody and she throws her to the canvas. Jock and the mysterious woman then leave, with Jock taking a look back in pride at what he's done. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Tears streaming down her cheeks, Melody crawls over to Leon with cheese and tomato puree still on stuck on her face and tries to check he's okay, taking a look back at Jock who just laughs at her. Out of that footage we go to pre-recorded footage, with Jock Mulligan stood in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop at some unspecified location, but apparantly not in Birmingham, England. Standing beside Jock is the same woman who woman-handled Melody last week, stood emotionless with arms folded. JOCK Ah, Melody, Melody. Poor lil' Melody, huh? You know, I'm copping a lot of heat off of OAOAST management right now for what I did back in Milan. Everybody's got their panties in a twist about how ol' Jock Mulligan humilated her in front of the world. And, to be honest, I don't get it. I mean, anybody who talks to the Nerdly family knows, last week sure weren't the first time Melody's been called 'pizza face' in her life! She should be used to it by now! Mr. Dick laughs it up, looking over to the woman who barely cracks a smile. JOCK So, the OAOAST, they don't want Mr. Dick to penetrate the airwaves this week. But they do want an explanation. How's this for an explanation... I FELT LIKE IT! Mr. Dick points a finger into the camera lens. JOCK I ain't got no apologies, 'cause I'm Mr. Dick! Melody stepped into that ring determined to bawl her little eyes out, to make out like she's the most innocent girl in the world and how she was wronged by me. So, all I did was give her something to cry about. And it worked, huh? Leon Rodez? You stuck your nose in Mr. Dick's business and you got what you deserved as well. This is none of your business pal! This is between me, Melody and what's left of Baron Windels. You're every bit as bad as Melody though. Just like her, you make out like you give a damn about me in front of the people. The people are getting conned. Leon, read my lips. You ain't my friend and you never were. The only reason you ever hitched your cart to the Lone Star bandwagon was because of Melody, not because of me. And we all know why that is, don't we? Jock laughs to himself. JOCK Now, you want a piece of Mr. Dick at School's Out? Man, you ain't gonna get a piece. With Mr. Dick, you gotta go the whole nine... INCHES! Turning back to the intimidating woman at the side of shot, Jock laughs to himself again. JOCK Now, you want an explanation about who this is? The people that matter already know. See I came to the realisation long ago that Melody Nerdly wasn't the woman to take Jock Mulligan to greatness and goodness. She's just a stupid little girl. And I'm Mr. Dick. The only woman strong enough... powerful enough... DOMINATING enough to handle Mr. Dick is this woman right here. The ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. This right here is MALAYSIA NERDLY! Did you really doubt she was a Nerdly? No. Okay, moving on. JOCK Forget about Melody, Maggie, Molly, all the others. You're looking at the alpha female, to go with the alpha male. Malaysia is nothing like the other Nerdlys because she's a REAL woman! She's the woman for Mr. Dick. She's everything that you ain't Melody. And she's sick and tired of being the outcast, just because she's not 5 foot nothing and struggling to hit 110 on the scales. Screw that. Mr. Dick wants a woman that's not gonna snap in half in between his legs! And Melody, don't think Malaysia doesn't remember the way you Nerdlys used to tease her. The mocking. The whispers behind her back. Monster. Freak. The first sign of emotion from Malaysia creeps out as she growls at that word, as if it's conjoured up a bad memory in her head. JOCK Well you turned her into that freak. And now you've gotta deal with her. I'm used to women calling Mr. Dick freak so I reckon we're gonna get along just fine. The rest of the OAOAST? Well, I ain't so sure! Jock smiles confidently, patting the glaring Malaysia on the shoulder as we go back live. COACH Pay up. COLE What? COACH I bet you $20 last weekend that she'd turn out to be a Nerdly. Rolling his eyes, Michael eventually reaches into his pocket and hands Coach his twenty dollars. COLE As always, the OAOAST would like to apologise for some... most of Jock Mulligan's comments. Just a permanent lack of class. But what about what we just heard, Malaysia Nerdly? The way she physically woman-handled her own sister last week in Milan, I'd be very worried if I were a female in the OAOAST and Melody Nerdly in particular. COACH I won't make the obvious joke about you actually being a female in the OAOAST for another $10... oh, wait, nevermind. COMMERCIAL AY YO time out b for the official Having To Take A Shit After You Shower UnAppreciation Post. hitting the deuce is always a dirty look. But dropping #2 after just taking a shower is just bad karma. damn, son, it actually feels like the shower was wasted. straight word, the worst is being awoken at 3 am when u sound asleep and that pressure hits u and u have to get up and sit your tired half asleep ass on the toilet...at the same time you're regrettin' you ate at that late night restaurant, and its the same one that went and got you fucked up last time. naw wait the worst is if that happens like 45-60 minutes b4 u HAVE to wake up.....u cant get back to sleep. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 9, 2008 If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah The Beverly Hills Blonds may not have seen a lot of action inside the ring during the OAOAST’s European Vacation, but they definitely saw plenty of it outside as document by home video footage aired with the opening credits. The Enterprise presents... In association with the OAOAST and TSM "BOOOOOOOOO *canned applause* OOOOOOOOOOO!" The Blonds enter the lounge as we’re reminded… "Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience." Executive Producer/Creator Simon Singleton Co-Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly NED BLANCHARD - CHASING CHAMBERLAIN 2,310 happy -- and very sore -- bitches! ^ 227 from seven weeks ago Drinks in hand, the Blonds remain standing rather than have a seat on their comfy leather sofas. SIMON Welcome back to the only talk show on television today that lets you think for yourself. I am Simon Singleton, joined as well by my handsome co-host… NED The one and only Ned Blanchard, thank you very much. SIMON Not only are we 2 weeks away from School’s Out, it’s also May sweeps. MAY SWEEPS! MAY SWEEPS!! MAY SWEEPS~!!! NED For those of you not in the biz, that’s when producers go the extra mile to put together shows that are bigger, better and badder. You know, a wild storyline, a crossover episode, or a special guest star. And boy do we have a special guest tonight. But Simon, did you know May sweeps isn’t the only big event going on back in the States? SIMON Indeed I did. The National Basketball Association is currently in the middle of their playoffs. And in recent years it’s become custom to refer to a team who’s been eliminated from postseason play as having “gone fishing.” Well ladies and gentlemen, the Beverly Hills Blonds went fishing this week and we reeled in a big one just in time for May sweeps. NED Bros and hoes, horny little boys and training bra wearing little girls, it’s our pleasure to introduce our guest this week, the CEO of the Enterprise…and the man who signs out check… THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOO *canned applause* OOOOOOOOOOO!" Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith There’s no sympathy for this devil, as Theodore Moneymaker is greeted rudely by the thousands in attendance. SIMON Teddy, thanks for squeezing us in. We know you’re a busy man. MONEYMAKER No problems, fellas. After keeping a low profile the past few weeks I’m ready to share my story. I’ve turned down hundreds of requests for a sit-down interview from various media outlets around the world because I wanted to give you, the most fair and balanced program outside of Fox News, the exclusive. Now, as many of you know, a couple weeks back I came out here and gave Anglesault an ultimatum: award me the #1 contendership for the OAOAST Title or suffer the wrath of my Enterprise. A simple stroke of the pen was all it’d take. But no, the man who broke every damn rule in the book in his day, winning the championship on a FINGERPOKE, couldn’t bring himself to do it! NED Shaking my head at this fool. Absolutely sickening. MONEYMAKER Therefore I'm left no choice but to declare my intention of placing a hostile bid for control of the OAOAST. I feel as though once people realize the kind of person they’ve been working for the past few years, it won’t be too hard of a decision for the Board of Directors to make. Little do you know, Anglesault, the kind of carnage you have brought on to the OAOAST. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The Blonds give Teddy a standing ovation as his music hits. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith COLE What is that supposed to mean? COACH I don’t know, but Anglesault -- watch out! COMMERCIAL MEN..i need your thoughts! Im in the gym just doing leg extensions, and keeping to myself. and i notice this kinda military sergeant buzzcut dude on the leg press machine looking at me dumb hard, and when i look at him, he continue looking at me, without blinking, without changing expression what is the man trying to tell me????? and if i bow my head down, what im i trying to say to him..... any thoughts........ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 9, 2008 KC bein over in tea&crumpet kingdom and not here in the land of the thief and the home of the snake is a lot like Ewing on the Magic or Ted Danson not behind a bar flirting with one of shelly long or kristie alley. It feels like fam got knocked on a violation. Free that nigga, god. Brand new at OAOAST.com THE BEST OF HELDDOWN 2007~! on 4-disc DVD! Yes, 4! Featuring: ~~DISC 1~~ ~The Road To AngleMania~ COD return promo, 1/4 Heat vs. PRL, 1/4 "It" promo, 1/11 Bill Neilson vs. "It", 1/11 (EASTER EGG) Alix's 'birthday party', 1/18 HI-YAH Tag Titles, 2/3 Falls, PRL and Popick vs. Heat and Fly, 1/18 Peter Knight 'touches down', 1/25 Landon Maddix's Lethal Rumble preperations, 1/25 The Heavenly Rockers vs. MGHWC, Anderson Cup 1st Round, 1/25 Enterprise promo, 1/25 (EASTER EGG) Zack/AS/Candie segment, 1/25 Riggs, Black T and Sooners vs. DDD, LSGS and COD, 1/25 Zack addresses Drek, 2/1 D*LUX vs. BHB, Anderson Cup Conf. Semi Final, 2/1 COD vs. SCM, The Shortest Reign In History, 2/1 Melody recruits the LSGS, 2/8 Krista gives Melody sage advice, 2/1 (EASTER EGG) BHB vs. Los Diablos, Anderson Cup Conf. Final, 2/15 Maddix vs. Caboose, Street Fight, 2/15 Reject, Waldo, Quincy and MGHWC vs. D*LUX, LSGS and O'Hara, 2/22 Drek arrives via private jet/walks the hallways/calls Hoff/parking lot promo, 3/1 Vitamin X confronts Caboose, 3/1 Moneymaker/Alix do dinner, 3/1 D*LUX vs. Martial Law, HI-YAH Tag Titles, 3/1 Moneymaker makes Maddix a deal, 3/8 COD vs. Martial Law, Tag Titles, 3/8 Drek's got a gun!, 3/8 Ned and Jade do a deal, 3/15 Jade stands up to Krista, 3/22 (EASTER EGG) Chicks On Art, 3/15 Leon looks forward to AM, 3/22 Drawing of the last MITB Battle Royal entrant, 3/29 Drek/Zack confrontation, 3/29 ~~DISC 2~~ ~Zack's Reign to Landon's Gain~ Drek/Zack AM fallout and School's Out build, 4/7 Alfdogg: WDW Champion, 4/7 Brannigan vs. Zack, 5th Anniversary showcase, 4/7 Leon/Jade confrontation, The slap heard around the world, 4/12 D*LUX vs. MGHWC, HI-YAH Tag Titles, 4/12 PRL and Wall vs. Bo and DDD, 4/12 World Tag Team Title Battle Royal, 4/19 BHB/MGHWC/Holly/LSGS promo, 4/19 (EASTER EGG) Brock and America's Team vs. The Enterprise, 6-Man Titles, 4/26 Caboose, Zack, Bo and O'Hara vs. Wall, PRL, VX and Bone Thug, 4/26 TK vs. Strutter, Heartland Title, 5/3 PRL vs. DDD, X-Division Title, 5/10 Bo/PRL confrontation, 5/10 (EASTER EGG) Biff Atlas's Inconvenient Truth, 5/17 Bohemoth forces PRL to repent his sins, 5/17 Leon vs. CW, Sooner City Street Fight, 5/17 Zack addresses Drek, 5/24 LSGS/MGHWC confrontation, 5/24 BHB vs. Usual Suspects, 5/24 Zack's 1st meeting with Mr. Money In The Bank, 5/31 LSGS vs. MGHWC, HI-YAH Tag Titles + THR post-match fallout, 5/31 LSGS promo on THR, 6/7 (EASTER EGG) Zack vs. Boricua, World Title, 6/7 PRL fires up Mr. Boricua, 6/7 (EASTER EGG) Zack/Landon/SCM segment, 6/14 COD vs. Los Infernales, Tag Titles, 6/14 OAOAST.com exclusive BHB 'tend' to Jade last week, 6/21 Leon/Alix reunion, 6/21 Moneymaker pays off Los Conquistadors, 6/28 Maya meets her heroes (D*LUX), 6/28 Landon Maddix cashes in MITB and wins the World Title!, 6/28 ~~DISC 3~~ ~Another Red Hot Summer~ COD visit the (Love) Doctors, 7/5 THR clash with Holly, 7/5 PRL crashes Landon's celebration ceremony, 7/5 Landon tries to cut a deal with SCM, 7/12 (EASTER EGG) Wall vs. Heat, 24/7 Title, + Riggs ruining the party, 7/12 AngleSlam contract signing, 7/12 THR vs. LSGS, Last Man Standing, 7/19 Moneymaker prepares Jade for B&P, 7/19 The BHB discover Molly Nerdly, 7/26 Cortez explains leaving Landon's side, 8/4 Tag Title Scramble Cage Match, 8/4 Enterprise promo, 8/9 BHB and CPA vs. 'Los Ninos Anorexicos', 6-Man Titles, 8/9 Alix/Leon segment, 8/9 (EASTER EGG) Krista vists her lawyer, 8/9 CW and Moneymaker vs. COD, Tag Titles, 8/16 Maddix vs. Cortez, World Title, 8/16 PRL and Landon put their women to the test, 8/23 Lindsay vs. Megan, Women's Title, 8/23 THR and Abdullah in 'heaven', 8/31 School Haze, 8/31 Zero Hour's main event made, 9/6 Maddix and PRL vs. Zack, 9/13 Landon and PR try to get along, 9/13 (EASTER EGG) Alf vs. Brock vs. TK vs. Stevens, 9/20 Riggs vs. Heat, Title vs. Title, 9/20 Maddix and Zack vs. PRL, 9/20 Landon and Zack try to get along, 9/20 (EASTER EGG) Leon and Maggie return from Booyah City!, 9/27 AS announces the 24/7/X Title merger, 9/27 ~~DISC 4~~ ~Winter Of Our Discontent~ Landon interrupts Zack, 10/5 THR and Holly explain their actions, 10/5 BHB vs. Love Docs, 10/5 Popick lays down the law to PRL, 10/11 Alf, Strutter, Reject and Team Heyross vs. Sandman, TK, Brock, Jumbo and Denzel, 10/11 Leon vs. Biff, 10/18 When Saulty met Molly, 10/18 Reject vs. Cortez, International Title, 10/18 Maddix/AS discuss Halloween show + Cortez, 10/18 (EASTER EGG) Krista: The Blonde Tornado (+Terry Taylor), 10/25 Zack vs. Popick, 10/25 Denzel vs. Reject, The Title Change The Wasn't, 11/8 Popick/PRL/Landon segment, 11/8 Landon vs. PRL + Bo's return, 11/8 Love Shack goes 'Springer' with COD and Mackie, 11/8 Sandman9000 vs. Reject, Heartland Title, 11/15 Reel Talk's HD debut, 11/15 Alix moves out, 11/15 Thanksgiving Tag Team Survivor Series Match, 11/22 Thanksgiving foodfight, 11/22 (EASTER EGG) Landon, PRL and Popick vs. Zack, Bo and Cortez, 11/22 The Lightning Crew betray PRL, 11/30 Team Alix vs. Team Krista, 11/30 Jade and D*LUX clean Krista's house, 11/30 (EASTER EGG) Bo and Zack start their friendly rivalry, 12/6 Boricua and Wall vs. Heat and Fly, The Corporate Turncoat, 12/6 Krista's mom drops in, 12/6 Reject vs. Denzel vs. Strutter vs. Sandman, International Title, 12/6 THR vs. Los Diablos, Tag Titles, 12/13 Landon in The Love Shack, 12/13 PRL vs. Cappa, 12/13 PRL/Cappa backstage, 12/13 (EASTER EGG) Krista vs. Lucius, 12/20 Strutter vs. Denzel, International Title, 12/20 Alix and CW vs. CAE, 12/28 An Unhappy Cucarannukah, 12/28 Reel Talk with Bo and Zack, 12/28 BHB vs. Zack and Bo, 12/28 COACH Many more shows like this and we're fucked for a Best Of 2008. COLE What? COACH What? COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 9, 2008 "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco hits as we return to HeldDOWN~! in Birmingham. The red carpet is out and treading it is one, not both, of the Beverly Hills Blonds. Simon Singleton is not quite a singleton on the stage though, as trekking behind him on his way to the ring is Molly Nerdly, carrying with her the trusty Siclopse. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by MOLLY NERDLY! Weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds and hailing from Beverly Hills, California... representing The Enterprise... "BOX OFFICE"... SSIIIIIIMMOOOOOOOOOONN... SSSIIIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOOONN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Simon aids his unpaid intern in getting the Siclopse properly set up to his liking, before he slides into the ring. But it's not Simon the fans care about tonight though. As opposed to any night, I guess, but work with me. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE That reaction can only mean one thing! That one thing being the entrance of Jamie O'Hara, to a roaring reception that drowns out "Fix Up, Look Sharp" and rivals any reaction O'Hara has probably heard in his life. J-OH is taken aback for a moment before firing up and striding to the ring fist-pumping with his bretheren. BUFFER And his opponent... from BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Weighing in at one hundred, seventy six pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOO'HHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE What a great reaction for the returning hero, Jamie O'Hara, Birmingham's own! COACH And what a surprise that AngleSault's stuck one of The Enterprise against the hometown boy. O'Hara vaults into the ring and scales the turnbuckles to fire up the crowd some more, before somersaulting back into centre ring. *DINGDINGDING!* "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" As the partizan crowd are whipped up by O'Hara, we see Molly Nerdly pressing the 'mute' button on the Siclopse to a thumbs up from Singleton. COLE Ned Blanchard, we are just hearing, has been barred from ringside for this match. He will not be a factor in this match. COACH Gee, I wonder who made that decision? COLE Well, AngleSault, obviously. O'Hara and Simon circle before lunging into a collar and elbow tie-up. Quick side headlock from Singleton earns a chorus of boosand sets the tone for the match for sure. O'Hara escapes with some shots to the ribs and sends Simon off, only to get knocked down with a shoulder tackle. "Rolling cameras", Simon hits the ropes again but O'Hara kips-up and takes him over with an armdrag! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Referee Mike Chioda backs Jamie up as Simon ducks through the ropes. COLE Singleton going to have to try and slow this match down, which is going to be easier said than done. It's hard enough to catch O'Hara on a bad day, but with the adrenaline of his hometown crowd cheering him he may be uncatchable! After getting his head in the game, Singleton weaves back inside and encourages his opponent to 'settle down'. Not an option, as another chant goes up for O'Hara. The two circle and lock-up again. This time Singleton comes out of it with the arm, wringing it into a hammerlock. O'Hara looks high and then low for an escape but Singleton keeps him in the hold. O'Hara drops and rolls to escape, coming out with a wristlock of his own. But a quick knee to the gut doubles him over. Clubbing forearm to the back. And a second. Simon then sends O'Hara off with an irish whip and ducks his head for a backdrop. Telegraphing it, O'Hara turns and goes back to back, getting flipped up and over onto his feet. As Singleton turns around, O'Hara then surprises him with a big hurricanrana takeover! A quick dropkick then sends Simon rolling to the floor. O'Hara gets the Birmingham crowd behind him again and as Simon pulls himself up on the outside, the SuperJay is on the move, hitting the ropes... but Singleton gets the HECK out of dodge and forces O'Hara to think twice about his dive! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Smart thinking from Si'. COLE O'Hara needs no second invitation to take to the air and Simon's going to have to watch the skies tonight. Molly leaves her post at the Siclopse to offer Simon her support. The unpaid intern proves as much of a nuisance to Simon as everybody else at the moment though and he shrugs her off. Simon climbs back to the apron, but soon goes back down to the floor as O'Hara baseball slides the legs out... *THUD!* ...leaving Simon to crash face-first into the ring apron! COLE Look out again! The crowd rise as O'Hara sticks his foot on the gas again. Stuck in the line of fire, Molly Nerdly looks up in shock as O'Hara takes flight... ...and Molly pulls the Siclopse to safety, but not Simon, who's left to move on his own power. O'Hara catches himself on the way over the top and lands safely on the apron, dropping a simple double axehandle on Simon as he takes his eye off the action. Turning Simon around, Jamie scoops him up and slams him on the outside. J-OH lets out a cheer, reciprocated by the crowd, climbing to the ring apron... AND HITTING A SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF THE APRON!!! COLE OH MY!! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" After some celebrations with his fans, O'Hara dumps Singleton back inside and follows with a cover... 1... 2... No! COLE High-risk, that's what Jamie O'Hara is all about. COACH And it's pretty spectacular, when it works. But when it doesn't you're in trouble. O'Hara rocks Simon against the ropes with a series of forearms before looking for the whip. A reversal by Simon sends O'Hara off instead, but he reacts and connects with a flying forearm. Leg hooked... 1... 2... No! Hooking The Video Voyeur up, Jamie sends another shout-out and looks for a suplex. Simon blocks the attempt twice though, then reverses and snap suplexes O'Hara over. COACH There we go Simon. Show them how they make 'em in the US! COLE Simon Singleton the patriot? Never thought I'd see the day. With the opening for the first time, Simon pins O'Hara's head to the canvas and drops a knee to the cheekbone. O'Hara rolls away into a corner, followed closely by Simon. An elbow to the cheekbone stuns O'Hara. Another. And a third. Singleton then pulls O'Hara out, into a quick saito suplex. Cover... 1... 2... No. Rear chinlock applied by BOSS. It doesn't stay applied for long though, as O'Hara bridges up and connects with a Jawbreaker! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Hitting the ropes, O'Hara goes for a spinning front kick but misses the mark. Simon avoids the kick and lays in wait for J-OH, catching him turning around with a Single Feature Flapjack! Quick cover again by Simon... 1... 2... Kickout. Still nursing his jaw, O'Hara is pulled to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A knifedge chop rocks Jamie back on his heels and Simon turns to the outside, informing Molly that we're "going for a re-take". Unfortunately though, the single feature does not become a double. Simon is caught with his head down, kicked in the shoulder blade. O'Hara then turns for the ropes again... and is pulled down by the back of his vest top. COLE Not quick enough on that occassion. Simon stands over O'Hara and "rolls cameras", distracting him as O'Hara suddenly kips-up. Backflipping, O'Hara hooks his feet around Simon's head and tucks forward, pulling him over with a headscissors! COLE Spoke too soon! COACH That can go on the cutting-room floor. Totally irrelevant to the plot. Staggering to his feet, Singleton is clearly unsure of where he is as he reaches out looking for a tag from the non-existant Ned Blanchard. Instead he gets tagged by the boot of O'Hara, as he connects with a standing spinning heel kick! Simon wobbles but stays on his feet, until J-OH hops up onto his shoulders and pulls him over with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... Kickout! O'Hara rolls back, right by the ropes. He pulls himself through to the apron and with a cry of "LEMME HEAR YA BIRMINGHAM", he leaps to the top with a Springbo... NO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cutting O'Hara off, Simon manages to lunge himself at the top rope at the precise moment O'Hara's feet rested on them. O'Hara ends up falling stomach first across the top rope and there he stays. With the wind knocked out of him, O'Hara is then powerless to react as Singleton hooks the head and lifts Jamie off the ropes, pulling a page out of his tag team partner's playbook with a Slingshot Suplex!! COACH An ode to Ned! Simon turns over and hooks up both legs to stack Jamie up... 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara staying in this one! COACH For now. Just a suspicion of doubt for the audience before the hero ultimately triumphs in the end, classic filmmaking. COLE So, in your mind, Simon Singleton is the hero!? Good lord. Molly gets on the referee's case while Simon gives the signal for the end. He drags O'Hara to his feet, scooping and slamming him in the centre of the ring. Simon then exits the ring and heads up top to the sounds of thousands of Birmingham locals encouraging O'Hara to get out of the way. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Reaching the top, Singleton waits until he's perfectly in shot and gets the thumbs up from Molly before he takes off to bring down the Clapboard... ...NOBODY HOME!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Misses the legdrop! Jarred from the impact of the landing, Simon hobbles forward into a sweep of the legs from O'Hara. Leaping over the body, O'Hara hits a quick Standing Moonsault. 1... 2... No! Jamie jumps right back to his feet, following up with a Standing 450 Splash and hooking the leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Momentum is building here, O'Hara needs one good connection on an aerial move. Exiting to the apron again, O'Hara waves Simon back to his feet. The Video Voyeur walks right into his path this time, the hometown boy springboarding to the top and wiping Singleton out with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton! He's unable to stay on for the cover though, so heads across the ring and waits on Singleton to get back up again. COLE O'Hara is setting Singleton up for something. COACH Great work Sherlock. Simon pulls himself back up and is warned by Molly of what awaits him. Whether he hears her or not isn't clear, as he stumbles towards O'Hara, charging in and throwing a Busaiku knee... NO! Sidestepping, Simon catches O'Hara in a waistlock and throws him overhead with a German... ...but O'Hara LANDS ON HIS FEET! COLE What agility! After a quick realisation all is not well, Simon turns around and gets wiped out with the Busaiku Knee Kick! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Singleton flops to the canvas and O'Hara quickly exits to the ring apron. The Birmingham fans erupt as O'Hara heads to the top, despite the attempts from Molly Nerdly to wave him off. The Birmingham Bad Boy makes it to the top and sets himself, Simon in perfect position, as O'Hara comes tumbling down... *WHAM!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE BLAZE OUT 630!! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIIEEEEE OOO'HHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Rolling right out of the ring, O'Hara hops the barricade to celebrate the win with his people, footage which Molly clearly doesn't feel is important as she turns the Siclopse away. COLE Jamie O'Hara returns home with a big win. And this crowd couldn't be happier! COACH Oh and I'm sure AngleSault is delighted too. You can't tell me this wasn't set up to spite The Enterprise. You can't tell me this doesn't prove everything Mister Moneymaker has said has been right. COLE All I can tell you is the hometown boy done good here in Birmingham! COACH Ugh! O'Hara continues to celebrate in the crowd as we fade away. sing this while clappin: KC UP IN THE SKY OVER ME WATCHING. HE'LL HAVE MY BACK HE'D HELP DO MY ALBUM. HE'D HELP ME TEACH THE WORLD TO DEFINE AN EPIC, AND IF I DID IT IT'D BE LIKE SERGEANT PEPPER BANGING UR GIRL, IT'D BE LIKE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON. AND KC WAS IN THE AMBULANCE AFTER I HAD TOo MUCH ACID HE WOULD BE RITE NEXT 2 ME. NOT ASS KISSIN, HE WOULD BE LIVIN HIS LIFE WIT HIS WIFE. YEAH KC MORE THEN A BIG BROTHER, U WERE LIKE THE DAD THE DAD I NEVER HAD AND EVEN THO I DIDNT HAVE A MOTHER U WERE THERE TO HELP HOLD MY HAND. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
