Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD As Ultimate Victory plays the opening video rolls, highlighting the adrenaline-charged, mile per minute action OAOAST HeldDOWN has become famous far, while showcasing several of its primary superstars. And don't forget the American flag, a a testament to this country's ideals of freedom, justice and complaining about outrageous gas prices without ever taking any actions to do something about them. We settle on our announce team, attired in their typical outfits of orange polos and khaki pants. And to celebrate our return to the states, as well as our rampant xenophobia, the sofa central desk has been painted an American flag pattern COLE The OAOAST is back in America! COACH And thank the good lawd. Ol euro trash be some softer than doctor cotton ass niggas! Type of dudes to let the next man hump em in the rolls on the back of they neck talking about as long as it aint in your mouth it don't count. Those French Dudes probably got speedometers they neck to clock the miles they jawing niggas down on the regular. Ol' motor throat ass bastards, only mothafuckas on the earth who's tonsils are sponsored by Michelin. Ol parlez-vous francais chumps. COLE And we're off to another smashing start. So, folks, we're just a few days away from School's Out, our latest pay per view extravaganza and it promises to be hot, hot, hot. All your favorite OAOAST superstars are in the building tonight, and HeldDOWN is going to be an intense zone. See what I did there? COACH Ain't nobody trynna remember that terrible show. We're set for action again on HeldDOWN~!, as "Date With The Night" by the YeahYeahYeahs hits and the crowd respond with cries of "YEAH...YEAHYEAH!" (I'm sure I've used that line before, but whatever.) for the return of Jade Rodez! In the same pink tracksuit as always she walks out onto the stage, greeting the welcoming response with a little shyness but a smile nonetheless. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJJAAAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Happy to be back, Jade waves to the crowd as she makes her way gracefully into the ring. COLE First time we've seen Jade on HeldDOWN~! in a while, in person at least. She's been busy in Los Angeles getting to know Krista a little better, but now with Krista in action it's time for the prodigal daughter to return. COACH Well, last time we saw her she was getting royally bitchslapped by Mackenzie DeCenzo. Let's see if she's learnt anything from mommy. Jade starts to warm up in her corner, as the sound of a whip cracking starts up "Wild Side" by Motley Crue. Suddenly the mood in the arena changes, firstly to one of anger directed at Jock Mulligan, then fear for Jade's well-being as he leads out his new squeeze, the mighty Malaysia Nerdly. Carrying her cat o' nine tails, Malaysia raps it across the palm of her hand, perhaps a preview of what's to come. BUFFER And, introducing her opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by "MR. DICK", JOCK MULLIGAN! She hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... MMMMAAAAALLLAAAAYYYYYSSSIIIIIAAAAAAAA... NNEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYY!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Jade might just have picked the wrong week to come back. Few would envy having to face the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. Striding up the ring steps, Malaysia goes to step into the ring. But referee Charles Robinson won't allow her to, until the whip is out of her hands and in Jock's for 'safe keeping'. COLE Our first official look at Malaysia. And her man, Jock Mulligan, at ringside, ahead of his match with Jade's uncle Leon in 3 nights at School's Out. COACH I wonder if Mr. Dick will poke his head in dur... COLE Okay, okay, enough! *DINGDINGDING!* Whip or not whip, Jade knows she's in trouble. Malaysia smiles as she sees the fear in Jade's eyes behind the guard that she's putting up nervously waiting to lock-up. COLE I think Jade just now realising what she's gotten herself into. Malaysia takes a step forward and Jade quivers a little, before getting her nerve back and going for a lock-up. But Malaysia simply reaches out and grabs her by the wrist. With a wristlock, Malaysia swings Jade around and around like a ragdoll until she falls to her knees in pain. Picking her back up, Malaysia then drags Jade forward into a short arm shoulder tackle! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" The back of Jade's head bounces off the mat violently and she tries to crawl for the ropes. Malaysia stops her by standing on her neck though. MR. DICK That's right baby, punish her! COACH Mr. Dick, standing proud right now! COLE Would you stop with that already? The mighty Nerdly sister eventually lets Jade up and takes her other to the ropes. Threading her through the middle, she pulls back on a chinlock with Jade all tied up in the ropes! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Malaysia breaks on four, but enjoyed hearing Jade's tortured screams so much that she can't resist doing it again! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Again she breaks before a DQ. Jade slumps to the mat and Malaysia makes a nonchalant cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Turning Jade over, Malaysia pins a knee in the back and pulls back on the hair! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" Malaysia proves she knows the rules of wrestling again. Breaking the hold, she looks at the strands of blonde hair around her fingers and licks her lips, before striking poor Jade in the chest with an open hand. COLE Look at that smile on Malaysia's face. That is sick. COACH Oh boy is it ever. Irish whip by Malaysia now... but she ducks her head and gets caught with a desperation DDT from Rodez!! The crowd cheer with renewed hope as she makes a quick cover... 1... 2. No! QUICK kickout! Still grimacing in pain, Jade gets back to her feet first and meets Malaysia with a forearm. A second. And a third. They have barely any effect on the powerful Malaysia though, so Jade is forced to come off the ropes. A running forearm still doesn't put the freak of Nerdly nature down. Hitting the ropes again, Jade takes off looking for a crossbody, but is caught with ease! Malaysia carries Jade in her arms, before delivering a big Fallaway Slam!! COACH Oh wow, she just shut her down. COLE What power from Malaysia. And a great wrestling move, she's come fully prepared for life in the OAOAST. COACH Unlike each of her other siblings so far. Malaysia slowly collects Jade and drags her torturously up by the hair, to the complaints of referee Robinson. With Jade on her knees, Malaysia clubs her in the back. Butterflying the arms, she then executes an effortless suplex and covers... 1... 2... NO! COLE Give Jade some credit though, she's not giving this one up without a fight. Malaysia pulls Jade back up again with a sick smile on her face, tugging on her hair again. The yelps of pain just seem to get Malaysia going and she SLAMS Jade face-first into the mat. By the hair, back up... and again face-first back down violently! Mr. Dick applauds on the outside as he and Malaysia exchange a seductive look from across the ring. COACH Hmm, maybe Malaysia might be rubbing off on Mr. Di... COLE CONTROL YOURSELF! With Jade down and checking her nose isn't busted open, Malaysia stands over her lower back, still looking at Jock. Reaching back, she hooks her arms underneath Jade's ankles. Malaysia then stands upright and leans forward, bending Jade up in an Inverted Boston Crab!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *TAPTAPTAP!* *DINGDINGDING!* Jade doesn't last long in the hold, tapping out after mere seconds as her spine threatens to snap in half! Malaysia refuses to break the hold however and drops to one knee to even further apply pressure! COLE Come on, the match is over, break the hold already! With no break coming, the referee calls for the bell again... but he needn't worry, as out rushes LEON RODEZ to come to Jade's aid! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Leon dives into the ring and shows none of his usual gentlemanly conduct as he pulls Malaysia off of his sister niece. Angrily, Malaysia whips around and goes to hit Leon, but he just about holds her at arms length... allowing MR. DICK to sneak into the ring and attack from behind! He nails Leon in the back of the head with his boot, then hooks up Leon in a full nelson and delivers PURE PENETRATION!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ah, it was a set-up! And Leon just got planted. COACH He got drilled by Mr. Dick! Jock jumps to his feet and puts the boots to Leon some more despite the damage being done, while Malaysia's stalking keeps Charles Robinson away. Once he's done being a dick, Mr. Dick finally leaves Leon with a slap to the face and a warning of more to come at School's Out, before shoving Robinson on his ass (just to be a dick, natch) and leaving the Rodezes laying. COLE Mr. Dick has sent a message, just 3 nights from School's Out. But it'll be man to man, face to face on Sunday, so we'll see how he fares then, won't we. COACH I think we just saw proof positive... Mr. Dick is one dick that can't be beat! COLE You're horrible. But, later on tonight Jade's mother, Krista Isadora Duncan makes her well anticipated return to the OAOAST to face off against one of her favorite victims, Lucius Soul. COACH Jade opening for Krista is like Air Supply opening for The Rolling Stones. And watch Krista's gonna son Lucius' soul worse then hurricane Katrina, while Jade can't even get but three offense moves against Malaysia. And Krista's fighting a man! Jade's getting beat up by women, and Krista's been beating up men for years. Jade soul is burning slow! LATER ON TONIGHT THUNDERKID AND REJECT Vs LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO LATER Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 (edited) ...as "Getting Away With Murder" hits and out to the ring heads the one and only Zack Malibu, to a roaring reception from the Conneticut crowd! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAACCKK... MMMMAAAAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUU!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And the rumours have been flying, the challenge for the rubber match between Zack and Bohemoth has been laid out. Perhaps Zack is out here to make it all official. COACH Man, I hope so! Zack slaps some hands on the way to the ring, in a pretty good mood it would seem after his exploits last week. He also carries a little bit of a limp, no doubt from those same exploits. Entering the ring, Zack takes the microphone from Buffer and calls for some decorum. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" ZACK Thank you. You know, I'm sore as all hell right now so you'll forgive me if I seem a little subdued tonight. Last week, in Belfast, Northern Ireland, myself and Bohemoth picked up where we left off at AngleMania VII and we tore the house down in a whole other continent. The crowd, seemingly in agreement, applaud. ZACK We tore the house down in Belfast and we tore the hell out of each other again. The only difference was... this time, it was MY hand raised in victory. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" ZACK That's unfortunately not why I'm out here though. You see last week was intended to be the final chapter of this rivalry between me and big Bohemoth. We had unfinished business from AngleMania to take care of and I'm not talking about wins and losses or anything like that. That night, Bo was the better man. Simple as that. Last week, I was the better man. The business that was left unfinished was the business of showing respect to an opponent after the fight of your life. That's what this is supposedly all about. That's how it started. Respect. And TWICE now Bohemoth, you have disrespected me. At AngleMania, I accepted defeat like a man and extended my hand to you, only for you to turn on your heels and walk away. Last week in Belfast, I gave you the opportunity to make up for your mistake. And again, you turned and you bolted. You didn't accept you defeat like a man. COACH Zack questioning Bo's manhood? Them's strong words. ZACK So now, because of that, this issue between us rolls on and on. Bohemoth, this issue will not end until you show me the respect that I hold towards you... because I WILL NOT LET IT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ZACK Bohemoth, the scoreboard now reads "Bo- One, Zack- One". You better belie... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* COLE UH-OH! Zack trails off as "Liberate" powers through the arena and predictably enough, the suited and booted Bohemoth marches to the ring! Not looking entirely surprised, Zack folds his arms as Bo jogs up the ring steps and hits the ring. The crowd can't agree on how to react to The Meterosexual Monster, smattering of boos here, smattering of cheers there. Either way, Bohemoth doesn't seem too bothered as he grabs his own microphone and squares up to Zack. BOHEMOTH I wondered how long it'd take you to start boasting about last wee... ZACK There's nothing to boast about since I didn't accomplish what needed to be accomplished! BOHEMOTH You know what Zack, how about you cut the crap here and tell things like they really are. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" An intrigued Zack motions for Bo to 'go ahead'. BOHEMOTH First of all, I don't know what the hell your obsession with this handshake is. And quite frankly I don't care. You better let some air outta that overinflated head of yours and realise that you aren't quite as important around here as you think you are. You've got some big opinion of yourself if you think 'shaking Zack Malibu's hand' is some sort of prize to be cherished. Hell I'm sure there's plenty of guys in the back waiting desperately for you to extend that hand out to them and pass this imaginary torch so they can finally bend down and kiss them feet of yours, but guess what... I ain't one of them! ZACK Clearly not. BOHEMOTH No, and I ain't the only one. Fact is Zack, you claim to be this big 'locker room leader'. You're calling yourself The Franchise. I've heard guys calling you 'the conscience' of the OAOAST. But that's bull. Ever since AngleMania I've had plenty of guys come up to me and say they'd have done the same damn thing in my situation that I did. ZACK What, guys like Alfdogg!? Guys like Landon Maddix maybe!? These are the people who's opinions matter to you all of a sudden? BOHEMOTH I don't give a crap about what Alfdogg, Maddix or anybody thinks. All I care about is what I think. And I think this whole 'respect' spin is nothing but bull. The fact is, you're just worried about losing face because finally there's somebody with the balls to not be in complete reverence to almighty Zack Malibu. Zack laughs that comment off, a laugh which doesn't last long as he's soon back to glaring at Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH You know what I think the problem really is? ZACK What's that then? BOHEMOTH The real problem is, you think that you're the poster boy for the OAOAST... but the fact is, you're just an attention whore who craves the spotlight of being number one! And that's why you keep putting yourself in the position to defend the company all the time whenever any minor threat pops up. You're so used to everybody treating you like the hero, you've forgotten what it's like in the real world. That maybe not everybody feels the same way. And when somebody comes up and doesn't treat you like the hero you claim to be, your ego can't handle it! A tense few moments of staring down breaks out after that. ZACK My ego, huh? MY ego? Let's talk about you bigman, who turns from an ice-cool monster to a pissy little bitch in the space of one loss! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ZACK You want to know why they call me the 'poster boy'? It's because I've been on the posters, in the main-events, selling the tickets, shifting the merchandise and moving the DVDs FOR SIX YEARS NOW!!! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" ZACK I earned every compliment I've ever gotten in this business. And you wanna know how? Through RESPECT! Sure, I've gone through times where I've been an absolute ass. Put it down to youth, put it down to whatever. The fact is, nobody was calling me 'poster boy' or 'franchise' back then except me. It sounds a hell of a lot more credible when it's coming from other people. And that only comes when they respect you. I respect you. Even after all this. I respect your ability. I respect the fact you're willing to stand on your own two feet. Truth be told, I respect the fact that you want to take 'my spot' and be the man around here. I even respect the fact you've got the balls to come out here and say what you're saying to my face... wrong as you may be. Zack bravely takes a step closer to Bohemoth and risks getting laid out for his trouble. ZACK But what I DON'T respect is the way you can't handle the fact I'm still top dog and you're not. BOHEMOTH You might be top dog still to YOUR people, Malibu. But everybody knows I beat you at the big show and you just need to step aside. ZACK You know what Bo, despite what you think I don't care about being a 'hero'. What I do care about is this company. And I care about it too much to step aside for somebody like you who hasn't proved you're ready for it. Beating me is one thing. Earning the respect that these people have for me is, as you can tell by the boos you got when you walked out here, another story! Bohemoth's supporters quickly voice themselves in protest, to which Zack's respond with the boos. ZACK So I'll tell you what, we're one and one and I know AngleSault wants to put us together one more time to settle this for good. You want it. And so do I. So let's cut past the bureaucracy and get this made official. You and me, Sunday at School's Out, one on one. Challenge issued, Zack extends his hand to Bohemoth, who takes a moment to think about it. COLE There's the challenge. COACH Are we gonna see it though? After some deep thought Bo finally smiles, reaching out... BOHEMOTH You're on. ...and NOT shaking Zack's hand, AGAIN, instead walking off to the back. COLE Wow! COACH Man, Bo won't even shake Zack's hand to accept his challenge, that's commitment! COLE But he did accept the challenge and we will see the final installment this Sunday night! Zack/Bohemoth 3, at School's Out, what a war it's going to be!! Zack can only smile at the shunned handshake as he watched Bohemoth head off backstage, not giving Zack a second look. Still, having gotten what he wanted, Zack seems happy enough and salutes the Hartford fans before he too leaves, although with a noticeable shake of the head. And that is the image we dissolve into commercial from. LATER ON TIGHT MISS CALIFORNIA IS BACK KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LUCIUS SOUL LATER COMMERCIAL Edited May 24, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 (edited) We return to live action with a patriotic image of the flag waving across the numerous video screens, and the entrance stage highlighted by brilliant array of blue, red, and white spotlights, like we're actually sitting atop the American flag. Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel With the OAOAST’s European tour now concluded, the ALL-AMERICAN BOYS are out of hiding and on their way to the squared circle proudly waving Old Glory. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave... THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS!! “USA!” “USA!” “USA!” COLE We’re not just living in America, but we’re back LIVE once again in America. Hartford, Connecticut to be exact, and I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate our return home than with two American patriots. COACH I’ll give you that, Cole. But maybe other than mom’s apple pie, there’s nothing more American than rock n’ roll. COLE Speaking of which… HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! COLE …here’s a fearsome foursome always with a new complaint. COACH The greatest tag team champions this company has ever had. Synth and Logan aren’t much in the mood for jawing with fans this evening, but the same cannot be said for Abdullah. The Colonel more than willing to engage in a little smack talk. BUFFER And their opponents, led down the aisle by HOLLY-WOOD… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Upon entering the ring, the Heavenly Rockers are met by fists of fire and feet of fury as the All-American Boys launch a pre-emptive strike! COACH Something tells me I shouldn’t hold my breath waiting for a condemnation from you, Cole. COLE Well, these aren’t the rules the All-American Boys normally play by, but against an enemy that plays by none then, well… I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. COACH I sure hope you remember that next time one of your favorites is on the receiving end of things. “YEAH!” * DINGDINGDING * A pair of Irish whips and backdrops follow. Liberty whips Synth in again and takes him around the world with a TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The All-American Boys switch out, legally, and Freedom looks to shoot the Synthmeister in a third time…but Synth reverses and Logan drives the knee into the small of Freedom’s back as he bounces off the ropes, sending the masked patriot stumbling into the arms of Synth and a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! COACH Stick that on the cover of TIME Magazine. COLE They may be sticking a fork in Freedom if he’s unable to make a tag. A tag is made, but it’s by the Heavenly Rockers. Logan plants a knee into the side of Freedom’s chest and then goes for the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Mann rams Freedom into the buckle and chokes him out in the corner. Forced to back off he keeps the ref occupied as Holly lands a few cheap shots of her own. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” ABDULLAH : ) Logan signals he’s going to ram Freedom into the other buckle across the ring, but Freedom blocks it and the Macho MACHO Mann eats turnbuckle instead. “YEAH!” Both men tag out and their respective partners charge towards mid-ring to slug it out. The Synthmeister getting the worst of it as Liberty puts him on his heels. Irish whip, and a BAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The natives become restless as Liberty scales the turnbuckles. We soon know why as CPA, the Enterprise Director of Security, storms the ring and shoves Synth down to the mat. * DINGDINGDING * COLE The referee has called for the bell, but what the hell is CPA doing out here? Liberty dives off towards CPA…ONLY TO BE CAUGHT IN MIDAIR AND POWERSLAMMED! Then CPA drills Freedom with a BIG BOOT as we see THEODORE MONEYMAKER laughing alone at the top of the stage. The Heavenly Rockers and company seen running past the Billion Dollar Heir off to the side. COACH I bet this is what Teddy was referring to when he warned of the carnage that would result because of Anglesault’s actions. To think it’s only a taste of what’s to come. Anglesault, you’ve gone and f’d with the wrong dudes. * COMMERCIAL * SCHOOL'S OUT 2008 WORSHIP NOT THESE FALSE IDOLS HOUSE OF WORSHIP WITH SPECIAL GUEST ANGLESAULT BUT COMING UP NEXT FROM HOLLYWOOD TO HARTFORD KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LUCIUS SOUL NEXT Edited May 24, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 Back we go to the relative calm of the OAOAST dressing rooms, where the living embodiment of nerd chic Melody Nerdly is sat alone in the mass Love Generation Air Express dressing room, pitting her wits against Dr. Kawashima and his Brain Training program on Nintendo DS (Proud sponsors of OAOAST School's Out 2008!). Her attempts to increase her brain power are hampered somewhat by Maggie Nerdly entering the room, forcing her to put the DS to one side for a moment. MAGGIE Hey. MELODY Oh hey Maggie. MAGGIE So, no Leon? MELODY No, he went off to talk to Jade about five minutes ago. But if you want, I can pass on an m s g to him when he gets back? MAGGIE Nah, that's cool 'sis. It's you I wanted to talk to actually. Taking a step forward, Maggie stands right over her big sister and daringly points a finger in her face, taking Miss Melody aback. MAGGIE You better back the hell off from Leon or I swear, I will fly back to Edmonton and I will take your mint condition Star Trek Enterprise model out of the packaging! Very uncarefully! Melody stutters as she tries to summon up a response to this crazy accusation. Once she gets over her initial surprise, she stands up angrily. MELODY Leon is my friend, okay? MAGGIE Lemme make this real crystal for ya, k? Stay. Away. From Leon. MELODY Look, I don't know who you've been listening to or what you're hearing, but you're way off. MAGGIE You bought the domain Leonrodez.com! MELODY Yeah, well, it was a cobweb. What the hell's gotten into you? You really think that I'm trying to steal him away from you? W slash e! I can't believe you're listening to these lamewads... yeah, I said it! Lamewads! You really believe people like Jock over your own sister? MAGGIE It's not just Jock though, is it? Even Jade reckoned you were getting all cosy with him recently. And I reckon she might just be right, because when Jock's being Mr. Dick, he sure ain't been slow in running to your rescue, has he!? MELODY Listen, don't go taking your little relationship problems out on me, okay? MAGGIE Suddenly Maggie lunges for Melody, who defensively does the same. The two sisters end up with full handfuls of each other's hair and no plans on letting go until it's pulled out from the roots. Shrill screams sound out from both, which apparently alerts the passing members of D*LUX, who spring in through the dressing room door and quickly try to pry them apart. Eventually they manage to do so, with each Nerdly sister coming away with strands of hair around the fingers to remember each other by. MAGGIE What the hell is your damn problem!? MELODY Remember the time I caught you with Timmy Johnson three days before your Sweet Sixteen party!? I came to pick you up at the school gates and we ended up having that massive fight in the playground where I totally would have kicked your ass if somebody hadn't called the cops to have me arrested? MAGGIE Just because you couldn't get laid in high-school, Little Miss Band Camp! Anyway, of course I remember, but why are you bringing that previously unmentioned incident up now? MELODY Because I want a rematch!! The two Nerdlys try to get at each other again, but Tyler and Shayne show herculean strength to keep them apart. MAGGIE Fine, we'll see how much you can flirt with my boyfriend with one eye and no front teeth! SHAYNE Say what now? MELODY Ten years older and ten years better, little sis. MAGGIE That's not what Timmy Johnson thought! MELODY AAAAAHHHHHHHH!! Again Maggie and Melody try and lunge at each other, but are again held back by Tyler and Shayne who are beginning to regret jumping in in the first place. Tyler manages to get Maggie out the door and quickly slam it shut on her (not before saying "sorry about this" to his best bud's girlfriend, of course) before the fight can restart. With Maggie gone, Melody sits sadly back down while Shayne and Tyler stand around awkwardly. SHAYNE So... seen Leon around? Melody gives Shayne a cold stare as we go back to the arena. COACH Yo, those chicks took an L for that one. Especially Melody. That girl is twenty eight years old, and she dumb as hell. Back there acting all innocent and stupid while Maggie tools on her. Melody, Maggie in yo face talking to you directly and you have NOTHING for her. The OAOAST see it, the world see it, viewers see it, and the baby sister OWNED you on sight, and is gonna own you again and again. And what those stoner bums, the Christ Air Express, on some Jesus turn the other cheek ignore that shit? Boys outta sock Leon right in his face and make him sit on that curb. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 Easy Lover plays over the sound system, as the arena lights all morph into a sensual, calming purple. However the audience is anything but calm, as they offer boos and thumbs down for the men arriving onto the stage. Rico De Janeiro is first out, his hairy chest covered in Mardi Gras beads, and his physique clothed by a Hawaii print shirt and Bermuda length shorts. Strutting out with pure swagger is Lucius Soul. Instead of boasting a comb pick, Soul holds a slip of paper into the air, smiling a toothsome smile like he's just won the lottery. COLE Lucius Soul very proud of his welfare check! I was talking to him earlier today and he noted how excited he was to take it down to the liquor store and get “fucked up on some fenda juice and pork rinds.” COACH (shaking his head) We ain't never gonna make it. BUFFER The following match is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of sixty minutes. Now making his way to ring, accompanied by Rico De Janiero, he is LUCIUS SOUL! COLE Lucius Soul set to take on the returning Miss California, Krista Isadora Duncan. And its a match that Soul specifically requested. He and Rico blame Krista for being the reason the Wrecking Crew's career has been down in the dumps for the past several months. But with three losses against the walk of famer already, one more defeat and forget the dumps Krista'll have them tossed into a trash incinerator. But Krista could be fighting a dead donkey right now, all the fans care about is that she's back in the OAOAST ring! On the outside, Rico tries and fail to trade beads for boobs, but comes up woefully short. He blames it on his poor selection of beads, but I'm pretty sure its just because he's ugly and stinks like the dumpster behind bronx bodega. Elsewhere, Lucius Soul stores his prized welfare check beneath the turnbuckles for safe keeping. When the red light comes on I TRANSFORM. Look in my eyes covered in Maybeline Looking like something fresh out of a magazine I can be part of your deepest fantasies You’re the detective Come solve my mystery The floor of the entrance stage is captured by a playful illumination as its tiles flash wildly alternating colors of red, green, yellow, blue, and white. Above these frenzied color flashes lie a bevy of gorgeous dancers. They capture the audience's lust and passions, with white gogo boots decorated by red flowers, orange, blue and yellow, tie die micro dresses, and matching head bands. Their dances are like Hippy commune revelry mixed with modern day hip-hop, flowing arm movements interrupted by controlled bursts of leg jumps, followed by hands running across their shapely bodies. But any attention that falls on those many dancers is stripped away by the arrival of the supreme beauty, Krista Isadora Duncan! Miss California strikes an alluring pose beneath the swirl of red and pink spotlights, throwing one hand into the air, while letting another glide down her inner thigh. A circling overhead camera captures the gorgeous woman, in pink heels that carry long legs up to ultra tight gold booty shorts, that showcase generous helpings of her perfectly toned BUTT. To complete the ensemble she wears a matching purple tube top with the Laker's logo etched across her voluptuous chest. Krista brushes past her army of dancers with utmost arrogance and begins a haughty stride towards the ramp. COACH Sweet and simple. Krista walks out like a superstar. Jade walks out like she's going to job. COLE Well, there's no question Jade isn't...quite...as...glamorous and as famous as her mother. That being one of the reasons we didn't see a huge grouping of photographers around her's or anyone else's match like we do here. But, Jade, well...Jade's a shy, reserved kind of girl. She's just not got the outgoing personality of her mother. There's nothing wrong with that, per se. BUFFER And the opponent From Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, a recent inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl, a bad girl) I can be your addiction if you wanna Get hooked on me I, I can be your addiction if you wanna Get hooked on me The entrance ramp's dull flooring is now blanketed in the most beautiful array of pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully against the matching lighting scheme. Similar to the recently passed LA fashion week, fashion photographers and journalists, all outfitted in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. All around is the monstrous roar of cheers, spewed from every member of the audience. Surrounding the ring are an incredible amount of photojournalists from various news agencies, all present to capture the celeb babe in action. COLE Much like Kobe is looking to bigger and better things and not focusing on the weak, tired Spurs, so is Krista focusing on bigger and better things. Namely that brunette in the first row, who's currently flashing her. Eat your heart out, Rico, if your work visa will allow you! Krista's propensity for showboating, motivates her perfect pins to twist themselves around the third rope. She tilts herself backwards and her streams downwards like mini beams of sunlight. Though there are enormous cheers all around Krista can't help but be a little contrary, and offers the nearest camera the gift of a middle finger. COLE And, as Krista steps into the ring, I just want to remind you that School's Out is this weekend on pay per view and on OAOAST.com! What better way to kick off your summer then with the OAOAST? Soul's gator skin boots circle him around the ring, as his onyx eyes send flashes of hatred flaring towards Krista. But the fitness queen's registers Soul as posing little danger, and she remains in her supermodel stance with her stunning smile. “Lucius Soul, you're like Tyler Perry, everyone knows you're on TV, but no one knows what the hell for.” LUCIUS SOUL: THE HORROR BEGINS Soul's lanky body twirls in rapid motion, and his leg swings out into a spinkick. However, Krissy pulls her head beneath his foot's wild trajectory and swings behind him. As his gaudy shoe comes back down onto the canvas, Krista is already coiling her arms around his neck. Her glorious golden locks shroud his vision, and he has no idea the anguish awaiting him until his body crashes into the canvas from the Blonds Never Pay a Cover(Side Effect)! His screams are plentiful and loud, but are simple peeps when compared to chants of, “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Flat on his back and howling shrill shouts of agony, Soul at least takes comfort in the fact that the early stages of the match can't get any worse. He's shown the inaccuracy of such thinking when Krista elevates his scrawny legs and spreads them apart. Horror scribbles itself across his face, as the fans begin popping for the pain to come. “Now put your right foot in. Your right foot out. Right foot in. Then you stomp Lucius in the balls!” “OWWWWWW DAAAAAAMN!” “That's what it all about!” “YEAAAAAAAA!” Having seen this comedy play out one too many times, Rico moves quickly to the apron to subvert Krista's antics. KRISTA RICO Noo..noo...now what? Now what? What is this? KRISTA I'm sorry..its just I'm at a really rough emotional point in my life. Here I stand alone in the night, with nothing in my life and no one to love me. RICO Yeah, go on Oprah, chica, come on, what is this? KRISTA (speaking in a musical voice) I'm trying to be somebody, but nobody listens, nobody listens, I thought I'd be the control my love, but when the feelings gone. And you can't go on it's..Tragedy... RICO No. No. Not diiiss. Not diiis again! Rico is joke in country now. They have word for people like me in Brazil, it is faggot! KRISTA (singing softly) When the morning cries, and you don't know why , it's RICO No! Rico doesn't even listen to music anymore 'cause of you. I gotta work out to the road hazard reports on AM radio and science Friday on NPR! Not swayed by Rico's protests, Krista's voice grows more musical and she olds her head gently against the ring ropes, and of course the photojournalists have to immortalize this stunt on their cameras. KRISTA Tragedy. When you lose control And you got no soul , it's.....it's....it's....it's.... RICO (singing) Tragedy! Night and day. There's a burnin' down inside of me Burnin' love with a yearning that won't let me be down I go and I just can't take it all alone I really should be holding you holding yoooooou ,loving you.....Loving yooooouuuuu Krista and Rico begin a disco flavored interpretive dance mixing movements that match the words with sharp spins, sexy hip gyrations and frantic head swivels. KRISTA AND RICO (singing) Tragedy!!! When the feelings gone and you can't go on it's Tragedy!! When the morning cries and you don't know why , it's hard to bear with no-one to love you you're going nooooowhere COACH Should I note that Jade doesn't even get fireworks for her entrance, much less for a song and dance routine mid match? Krista and Rico incorporate more quick leg shuffles into their dance, as their clapping hands invite the audience to join along with the beat of their song. KRISTA AND RICO (singing) Tragedy!!! When you lose control And you got no soul , it's tragedy!! When the morning cries And you don't know why , it's hard to bear with no-one beside you Your goin' nooooowhere. KRISTA AND RICO (singing) Tragedy!! When you lose control and you got no soul , it's tragedy...When the morning cries and your heart just dies Hard to bear. With no-one beside you your goin' nowhere KRISTA AND RICO (singing) AUDIENCE SUPERKICK BY KRISTA! Rico is rocketed off the apron to endure a terrible landing on the apron and a round of taunts from the capacity crowd. COACH Maurice Gibb never superkicked Barry! The benefit to Rico's latest humiliation is that it has given Soul enough of a chance to regain his strength and return to his feet. But there, a super kick screams towards his face. “Sweet” catches her flower power pump mere inches away from his face. He then twirls her around, thinking he'll be able to flatten her with a basic lariat. However, Krista's other leg swings around and catches him flush in the jaw, sending the OAOAST's resident pimp tumbling to the canvas. However, Krista has no inclination to follow up on her harsh strike, and instead takes graceful bows to the numerous photojournalists on the outside. With the blinding flashes and the noise of the cheering fans piling onto his headache, a dejected Lucius crawls to the corner for a quick reprieve. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” The reprieve the pimp daddy seeks seems incapable of never materializing with Krista attaching her heels onto turnbuckles. Rightfully fearing for his health, Soul slams his eyes shut and shields his face with his forearms. Sadly this prevents him from beholding the wonderful image of Krista performing a boobie shimmy. Operating in unified seduction, her torso and shoulders swing side to side, letting her bouncing breasts wash a tidal wave of pleasure over the audience, all in the hopes of attracting a girl in the front row who looks like Annie Lennox. You take what you can get in Hartford. COACH Dayum that's hot, but Jade would have to shove danny devito down her shirt to be able to do that! Her milkshakes CHASE all the boys from the yard! Once the blond beauty acquires her desired phone number, she flings herself backward, preparing to split Soul's afro in two with a leg drop. Yet, Soul counters this attack by slamming his flashy shoes into her midsection. Though Krista has a super ripped stomach, the shot was delivered with enough damage to dump her onto the canvas, and cripple her with misery. But, she shows admirable fighting spirit by quickly scampering upright. Unfortunately just as quickly as she stood up is she thrown back down, courtesy of a graceful high flipping dropkick. Soul is quick to take advantage of this rare moment of offense, and scurries on top of the walk of famer for a pinfall... ONE! Krista shoots her shoulder off the mat, earning a large cheer from the audience. Unsurprisingly, Soul is disgusted with only getting a one count, and hooks both of Krista's tanned legs in another pin.. ONE! TWO! Again Krista's shoulders come off the mat, and with them comes another mighty roar from the audience. “Boy, you's a shit sink!” Soul shouts in complaint to Robinson. “The back of my pimp hand gonna deal wit you after this match.” Right now Soul's pimpin' hands deal with Krista, weaving themselves across the fabric of her barely there top and guiding her off the canvas. He drapes her across his scrawny shoulders in a standing fireman's carry, bringing forth a flood of jeers from the fans who know what move is forthcoming. COLE Fro 2 Sleep coming up! And will Lucius Soul be able to be first person in four years to pin Krista? With all his might Lucius heaves Krista off his shoulders and into the sky. His knee is raised in preparation of mangling her fetching face, but its his own ugly mug that's mangled by Krista's dropkicking high heels! Knocked senseless by the sudden counter, Soul is tossed back to the mat, where a huge pouring of cheers falls around him. Despite pain in his head, Soul scrambles to his feet. Unfortunately no sooner then a second after he rises does the celebrity babe trap him into a half nelson. With incredible furor he struggles to fight free, but his efforts barely register on Krista's radar as she's too busy striking a Revlon ad worthy facial pose for the throng of photo journalists. But right as Soul seems to be making progress in his escape efforts, the Los Angelina swings her body forward and scrambles his face across the mat with her half nelson facecrusher. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Soul's hands immediately spring to his face to shield against further beatings. But that's a defense easily annihilated by Krista who peels his fingers away from his face and yanks him off the canvas. She tries to throw him into the ropes, but he somehow manages to reverse the hold and send her hurtling across the ring. As her feet inch nearer and nearer to the cables, De Janeiro returns to the apron, his fist cocked and face twisted into a despicable sneer. But when his hairy arm slices towards Krista, she flashes her foot upwards to swat it away. Rico recoils and screams and agony, but can take some comfort in seeing his partner leaping towards the fabulous beauty with a sidekick. But comfort turns to discomfort, when Krissy ducks down and Rico endures a face full of faux-gator skin! Down to the mats he tumbles, landing on his feet, but then staggering back into the guardrail. In addition to blurred vision and a throbbing migraine, he's assailed by numerous taunts from the front row audience. “Dag, pimpin, I made a mistake!” Soul apologizes. “Actually, honey, I think the real mistake here was when your father spotted your mother across a crowded crack house!” Krista comments. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Once again Krista has tipped Soul over the edge of his sanity, and once again he attempts to gain some vengeance in the form of physical pain. Though he throws all his energy into a spinning lariat, he's again avoided by the agile Californian. Soul is tossed off balance by his frustrating miss, and that leaves him open to an elbow smash from Krista. A second elbow scorches across his jaw, giving rise to cheers from the fans and clicks from the cameras of photographers. Then another elbow rips through his chocolate skin, staggering him on his feet and draining him of all energy. While most competitors might lay waste to a foe in as bad a condition as Soul, most competitors aren't a world famous celebrity who must look stunning at all hours of the day. Thus Krissy pulls a tube of lip gloss out her top... COACH That was lip gloss in her top? I thought she was just really cold. And decorates her lips a sparkling red, singing, “I Said My Lip Gloss Is Poppin', My Lip Gloss Is Cool All Da Girls Keep Jockin', They Chase Me After School” She chucks the lipgloss into the stands, where a fight for ownership ensues. But the blows the audience members trade are nothing compared to the throat thrust Soul surprises her with. The air is instantly hauled out her body, and choking and wheezing she stumbles back into the corner. Watching their beloved heroine struggle for breath causes the audience to spew buckets of venom at the young hoodlum. Soul is more then happy to taunt back, “You get mad n' u fuss cuz you don't shine like me! You get mad n' you fuss cuz you don't shine like me! You get mad n' u..” “LUCIUS SOUL, YOU MUSTA BEEN BORN OUT YA DADDY'S ASSHOLE, CAUSE YA MAMA'S PUSSY WAS STUFFED FULL!” an eighty five year old wheelchair bound man in the third row screams. Soul has no comeback for the thrilling details of his birth, so instead he further weakens his archival by hammering her with closed fist. Though Robinson tries interject himself in Lucius semi-legal assault, the New Orleans native refuses to relent in his pummeling. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Finally Robinson delivers his warning with enough forcefulness to ward Soul away from his victim. However, the damage is done and her tenuous grip on the ropes is the only thing keeping her from sinking to the canvas in mortal exhaustion. Soul realizes that Krista's end is at hand, and looks to bring it upon her as quickly as possible. He backs towards the center of the ring, eying her battered husk with a predatory glee. “Put two dollars in da air for a two dolla pimp!” Soul's nasal voice shouts, before he rushes across the ring with his knee raised for a vicious strike. But when he's just inches away from driving a hole through Krista's stomach, the superbabe rips her body from the corner. Soul's bony leg is left to crash with full force into the ring posts, and piercing screams pour from his both. With the crowd loudly cheering his miss, he hangs onto the rope for support and clutches a leg that feels as though its just been shot. However, his hatred of Krista is far greater then his pain ever will be, and with gritted teeth he limps at Krista with a lariat. Yet, the speedy sex kitten rolls beneath his slow moving strike, and brings herself to the corner posts. Quickly she scurries to the top, and the fans and photographers are alive with enormous excitement. She certainly doesn't disappoint her fans; her mesmerizing body performs a mesmerizing spin through the air. Its only Lucius who's not delighted by her stunt, as her corkscrew moonsault throws him back onto the canvas. His whole body is now racked with terrible agony, and he issues another full throated scream. “YEAAAAAAA!” COACH A beautiful corkscrew moonsault by Krista. Can Jade even do a body splash without getting a heat stroke? Yo, that's how bad Jade is compared to her mom. She getting injuries that ain't even related to what it is she doing. Ho goes to Rite Aid for some magic markers comes back with Aids and gout! For no other reason besides the fact that she's insanely hot, Krista decides to show off her traffic stopping bod. Her slender hips rock and gyrate in a slow rhythm, as she glides her fingers gently up and down her torso. Her roving hands reach across the flesh of her buttocks, and she gasps as her fingers gently squeeze into her firm BUTT. This spicy show thrills a group of female fans in the first row, who beg Krista to take advantage of California's legalization of same sex marriages with them. COACH Jade ain't ugly, but be for real, fam. Be for real! Her ass look like a mistake! Compared to Krista's it look like god didn't give two shits about her and put her together like playdough. Like she's the mister potato head of ass! Just slap it on with no rhyme or reason! Krissy runs to the ropes and when she bounces back her flawlessly smooth legs tighten around Soul's neck, and throw him over with a hurricanrana! Unfortunately, the force of the move brings Lucius back to his feet, where he stands right in front of Krista's smiling face. Too dazed to to strike away his annoying rival, he's victimized by a back handed pimp slap from the walk of famer. As the audience roots on his misery, Soul clutches his sore face and attempts to stumble away from Krissy. Unfortunately for him, the foxy mama traps him in place with a side headlock. Quickly, she attacks him with a nauseating twirl, then brings his head crashing into the canvas with The Life In The Fab Lane (Twist of Fate). “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” While the Hartford crowd loudly applauds her performance, Krista hooks Soul's outside leg for a pivotal pinfall.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But Soul pulls his shoulder off the canvas, instantly deflating the audience. With his hand nursing his sore neck, he slowly steps upright. He's immediately placed on the defense by a knife edge that Krista wings towards his chest. Although the strike slashes through his dark skin, he's able to take the pain in stride, and surprise by Krista by lifting her onto his shoulders for a standing fireman's carry. The fans spring to their feet, praying to heavens above that Krista will find the strength to avoid Soul's lethal finisher. Thankfully their prayers are heard and answered, and the beloved babe has little trouble in elbowing her way free of Soul's clutches. She comes down on her feet, but isn't out of the woods yet, thanks to Soul again brushing aside the pain to trap her in a 3/4th facelock. The former HI-YAH tag champion spins the GLAADiator around for a neckbreaker. But once more Krissy is one step ahead of him and strikes him with an infinite misery with the You Say Tomato, I say Fuck You (Swinging Reverse STO)! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE The way the greatest of this era Kobe Bryant dropped 50 on the hapless Clippers in 06 is eerily reminiscent to how the greatest of this era Krista Isadora Duncan is dropping bombs on the hapless Lucius Soul. COACH The way a fat kid craps himself during little league soccer is eerily reminiscent of the way Krista's daughter Jade craps on our ratings with her boring ass performances. Rico returns to the ring apron, with the full intention of doing whatever it takes to prevent Krista from claiming another victory against his squadron. And this time he's enlisted a lead pipe into his despicable cause. “You ain't gonna mess wit da' crew no more, chica!” He bellows, brandishing his pipe like a sword. Down goes Rico, defeated by the mighty power of Michael Knight and his super advanced automobile! “Did you hire David Hasselfhoff to appear in this match?” Robinson wonders. “Why yes I did, honey. He's one of the most successful actors in the history of syndicated television. And after the show he'll do your caricature for a dollar. Or a ride to the soup kitchen and a warm couch to sleep on for the night.” During the course of this conversation, Soul had managed to step towards his feet. His hope is that he can sneak attack the bombshell, but with his entire head glittering from afro sheen he's hard not notice! Thus the GLAADiator hasn't much trouble in snaking her hands beneath his chin. The sold out audience explodes with cheers for the world famous Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse X-factor). And when Soul's body is plummeted to the canvas their cries of joy grow even louder. Smiling brightly and beautifully to the photographers, Krista reaches forward and hooks Soul's leg for a crucial fall.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!! A huge ovation rises from the stands, as the fans are tickled with joy to see their returning heroine pick up right where she left off. COLE And Krista Isadora continuing the winning ways she's held for so many years. Still not pinned, still never submitted, and Lucius Soul takes his fourth humiliating loss to the most famous person in the OAOAST. BUFFFER Your winner....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! As a mischievous look takes over her face Krista grabs Lucius' welfare check from the corner, and brings it back towards her fallen foe. “Hmmm...ten dollars and twenty five cents? Honey, how's it feel to get fucked twice? Once by me and once by the motherfuckin' man?” she asks as she rips the check to shreds above his now weeping eyes. COLE Lucius Soul, that'll teach you to depend on government handouts to subsidize your crack-cocaine filled low income lifestyle and your six children by five different women! COACH Now let's put this all into perspective, brah. Jade comes back and gets squashed by a woman. Krista comes back and squashes a MAN, entertains the crowd, and does it all without getting a single hair out of place? Jade's sorry act was cool back when she was who we thought she was, but if you're Krista's kid that shit don't fly. Goldie Hawn was a star, and you don't see Kate Hudson playin Lady Capulet in Shakespeare in the Park. You gotta live up to your parents. The OAOAST is Krista's hobby. What Krista does for a hobby, Jade can't even do for a living! How's she gonna do the important stuff in Krista's life?? COMMERICAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 A compilation of moments from the five year OAOAST tenure of Tha Puerto Rican plays, with an soft piano chorus in the background. From his debut in January '03, through the IntenseZone days, to the present. IntenseZone Elbows, Latin Slams, shots of PRL on the microphone. PRL with the 24/7 Title, the Puerto Rican Title, even the HI-YAH Tag Team Title. VOICEOVER He is... an OAOAST mainstay. Stephen Joseph Popick and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are still in their heated argument. The crowd cheers, hoping for Jesse to get into a physical altercation with Popick. But before Popick and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can come to blows, Tha Puerto Rican sneaks up behind Popick and leaps onto his shoulders. Popick tries to throw PRL off his shoulders, but to no avail. Finally, Tha Puerto Rican rolls forward into a victory roll! NO! Stephen Joseph Popick REVERSES the victory roll into one of his own, wrapping PRL, while grabbing a hold of his tights! Referee Jesse "The Body" Ventura counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (24:55) CABOOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COLE Stephen Joseph cheated to win again! Stephen Joseph has retained the OAOAST World Title! VOICEOVER After five years of effort... Maddix quickly knocks down Malibu and lifts PRL up, into the fireman's carry, turning him away from the ropes before delivering the GO 2 SLEE... *SMACK!* ...SCHOOL'S OUT!! COLE SCHOOL'S OUT! HE GOT HIM, RIGHT ON THE BUTT... ONE! COLE WAIT! TWO! COLE WAIT NO, ZACK! THREEEEEE!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! Zack, having realised what was happening a second too late in his exhaustion, dogpiles on top of the fall just as the three comes down. VOICEOVER ...five years of guts and determination... Zack drills PRL with an ANGLESLAM which rocks the floor of the third cell!! But as he and PRL lay out in the cage, Popick has his hands on the roof of Cage 3 and is on his way to the belt! COLE Popick just sold PRL out! He sold him out to get the belt! ****** Back up, Cortez latches onto the wall of Cage 3 and makes a last, desperate attempt to climb up! But Popick is away now and out of reach. Popick pushes himself onto the roof of Cage 3, looking down 40 plus feet to the ring below, to Landon in Cage 1, to Bohemoth in Cage 2, to Zack Malibu and PRL below him, taking a last glance back at Cortez before steadying his jelly legs... COACH Just don't look down! ...AND GRABBING THE TITLE BELT DOWN FROM THE CEILING, DEFLATING THE CROWD!!! VOICEOVER ...finally, his time came. Tha Puerto Rican grabs his right elbow pad, removes it from his arm, and then throws it into the crowd. As the fans fight over the prized elbow pad, PRL does some weird hand signals that are still hard to describe five years later, and then runs backwards into the ropes, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps over Stephen Joseph Popick, runs forward... COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, stops in his tracks, puts his right foot into the air, extends his right arm into the air... and then drops his right elbow into Stephen Joseph Popick's chest! The Puerto Rico Elbow! ****** COLE HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS FINALLY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! All 100,000 plus fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum go nuts! Tha Puerto Rican bursts into tears! "Know Your Role 2000" starts playing. BUFFER Here is your winner... and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd... THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE He has done it! After 10 long years, Tha Puerto Rican has become World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican's journey has culminated at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH OH GOD! THIS IS AWFUL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gone through hell and high water! But he has become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career! VOICEOVER For all the blood... Thunderkid casually walks over to Tha Puerto Rican, who is starting to get up. PRL reaches out for something, anything, but instead, gets grabbed by Thunderkid. Thunderkid gets on his knees, grabs PRL by his hair, and then tries stabbing PRL with that spike! COLE What the hell? What the hell? Is he crazy? Is he doing what I think he is doing? COACH He is destroying PRL! COLE He's going to kill him! PRL fights back the 'spike'. He tries with all of his might to stop the 'spike' from entering his body, but can't. THUNDERKID STARTS CARVING THA PUERTO RICAN’S FOREHEAD WITH THE 'SPIKE'!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH This is sick! VOICEOVER ...and all the sacrifice... PRL almost falls, but his fingers are still just about laced around the steel mesh. Until Bohemoth carefully turns side on, reaching out... ...PUSHING PRL... *THUD!!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" ...AND HE FALLS FROM HALFWAY UP THE CELL, COMPLETELY TAKING OUT THE CORNER SECTION OF THE BARRICADE ON HIS WAY DOWN!!!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The announcers are silent. A solitary airhorn goes off in the background. PRL lays on the thick, curved corner section of the barricade. Blood is still flowing down his face. His arms and legs are splayed out and security guards have converged around him to keep the fans at bay. VOICEOVER ...the reward was all the sweeter Earl Hebner has also left the ring. This leaves PRL all alone in the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The camera does a wide pan of the thousands in attendance standing up and cheering Tha Puerto Rican on as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing. PRL manages to crack a smile amidst all of his tears. He gives the fans The People's Eyebrow, and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the crowd! Tha Puerto Rican lets out a primal scream, tears of joy flowing down his face. **THA PUERTO RICAN: LIVE THE DREAM** As the video fades out, we find ourselves on a close-up on none other than LANDON MADDIX. The camera pans out to reveal the rest of Cucaracha Internacional behind him, including Todd Cortez, standing off to the side of the rest. Landon chuckles to himself as Cortez looks on wearily. MADDIX Oh boy. What a pile of crap, huh? Tha Puerto Rican, living proof that if at first you don't succeed, try try again... and again... and again... then, eventually after five years, you might finally achieve what you started five years earlier. Derisive laughter from Black and Blonde behind Landon pauses him for a second. MADDIX Fact is, it took me less than year to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Doesn't make for quite the same emotional story to cut an inspirational video for. But, it does prove that I'm twice the man... or, maybe that should be FIVE times the man that Tha Puerto Rican is. Did I get a video package after I beat Zack Malibu? No. Did I get the accolades and ass kissing that PRL's gotten since AngleMania? No again. Does any of that matter? Not one bit. You see, what I did was I got on with the task at hand. Being OAOAST Champion. I didn't sit at home while announcers put me over and videos played chronicling my career. I got in the ring and, shock horror, I actually competed. Where's PRL the competitor, huh? You guys seen him around? BLONDE Not since you pinned him last week! Cortez scowls at that, scowling at Blonde as he smirks his way. MADDIX Exactly. The fact is, after five years I'm sure you're planning to be in this for the long haul PR. Maybe that's why you haven't defended your title once since winning it? Maybe that's why you spent the European tour sitting on your ass in San Juan while the rest of us put the work in? I don't know, that's merely speculation. All I know is, this five year journey is going to become the biggest anti-climax in OAOAST history when you lose the World Title in your first defence at School's Out! Your proud two month reign of doing absolutely NOTHING is how you're going to be remembered when you're gone, alongside the images of me knocking you senseless with the Go To Sleep again and me standing over your motionless body with the OAOAST World Title held high. Landon turns around to his crew. MADDIX You see, we all have dreams. Every human being in the world has their dreams. The dirty fact of life is though, only a few of us are good enough to live those dreams. It's sad that few will fulfill those dreams. What's sadder still, are those who can't accept that fact. Clearly Landon is directing this little life lesson towards Cortez more-so than the other Cucaracha Internacional members, causing him to straighten up a little. MADDIX This Sunday night, I will become a four-time World Champion. I can either do it the easy way... or, it can be done the hard way. The result will be the same. The repercussions, however, will not. Turning back to the camera, Landon's mood brightens. MADDIX That said, PRL, enjoy your last days as World Champion. I just hope it was worth the wait. Because at School's Out, you're the People's Dunce and I'm the Cucarach-A+ student! (begins to walk off) Puns are AWESOME! Following after their leader go Black, Blonde and Faqu. But before Cortez can, albeit belatedly, join them he's stopped at arm's length by Megan Skye. MEGAN You understand what he was saying, right? CORTEZ As much as any one human could I suppose. MEGAN Look, if you help Landon out Sunday, things are going to be a lot easier for you. He'll be so happy to be World Champ again, it'll be like these past few months never happened. And if you do make the mistake of taking the World Title, Landon'll make you live to regret it. That's not a threat Todd, we both know what he's like. Just... just fall in line already, okay? Cortez smiles to himself. CORTEZ I appreciate the concern. But we're way past that point now Megan. MEGAN Please? Not even for me? Megan gives Todd the old puppy eyes treatment, to which The Urban Legend isn't entirely won over by. CORTEZ What did I ever see in a scheming bitch like you? MEGAN (plumps breasts) These? CORTEZ Yeah... nice try, but if I'm responsible for anybody winning that title on Sunday, it'll be me. Brushing past Megan, Cortez strides off, leaving his former love interest to rue failing to get Cortez onside after all. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT LOS DIABLOS VS THUNDERKID AND REJECT NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 The Wall by Kansas plays, as the lights go out. The entryway is lit up by yellow strobes, then yellow smoke fills it up, with Thunderkid and Reject walking through. COLE Deadly Alliance members set for tag team action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 485 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance...the team of THUNDERKID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COLE And Thunderkid and Reject will challenge for the World tag team titles this Sunday at School's Out, as they face Team Heyross! Reject enters the ring and poses on the ropes, to boos, as TK slowly enters the ring and prepares to warm up for the match, as It's Raining Men hits, and Los Diablos come out as pink and yellow strobes flash throughout the arena. COLE And this will be a great test for them right here! BUFFER Their opponents...hailing from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, at a combined weight of 340 pounds...MORACCA and MARIACHI, LOS DIABLOS DE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Los Diablos dance their way down the aisle, then roll into the ring and continue their dance. Moracca hands off his sombrero, then the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH Stop kidding yourself, Cole. TK and Reject ae going to roll through these two right into School's Out, and they ARE going to be the next tag team champions! I've said it all along! Mariachi starts off with Reject, as the two circle the ring. Mariachi goes in for a tieup, but Reject delivers a knee to the gut, and hammers him to the mat. COLE And right away, Reject taking advantage of the size, just overpowering Mariachi right there! Reject stomps away on Mariachi, then drapes him over the ropes and chokes away, breaking at the referee's four-count. He then whips Mariachi across, but Mariachi ducks a clothesline, then turns around and delivers a foot to the gut, then grabs him by the hair and slams his face into the mat! COLE And a nice move there by Mariachi! TK jumps into the ring, but is intercepted by Moracca with a jumping headbutt! Los Diablos then set up TK and Reject, whipping them into one another! TK and Reject regroup on the outside, as the Diablos dance seductively in the ring. COLE And a nice sequence by Los Diablos, TK and Reject out to regroup! Reject rolls back inside, and tags in TK, who moves towards Moracca and kicks him in the gut, then lifts him for a PRESS SLAM~! COACH Like a child, Cole! However, Moracca slips behind the back, and attempts a reverse sunset! TK blocks with the ropes, as Mariachi comes in and runs at Moracca, who propels him over his own head and on top of TK! COLE But Los Diablos too quick right now for TK and Reject! Reject comes in and is hit with a dropkick from Moracca! Los Diablos once again whip TK and Reject into one another, this time getting down on all fours, as TK and Reject back up and trip over them! Los Diablos join hands and floor TK with a double clothesline, then do the same to Reject! COLE And if TK and Reject come out like this on Sunday, that match will be over in a hurry! COACH Yeah, but come on, Cole. This is just like the Spurs and Lakers...Los Diablos are looking hot right now, but sooner or later that championship mettle is going to prevail. TK and Reject regroup on the outside, then TK slides back in, but is caught in a side headlock from Mariachi. TK shoves him off, then puts his head down, but Mariachi gives him a kick to the face. Mariachi then whips TK across, but TK hooks the ropes and slides to the outside. TK points to his head as the crowd boos, then Moracca taps him on the shoulder, and TK turns around to be met with a thumb to each eye! However, in the ring, Reject sneaks in and floors Mariachi with a spinkick! COACH Now we're talkin', Reject! TK shakes off the cobwebs, then rolls back inside and tags Reject. TK then picks up Mariachi, draping him across the ropes, then picking up his legs, as Reject comes off the top with a double axhandle! COLE Big double axhandle from Reject! Reject then backs Mariachi in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then tags TK back in, and the two grab Mariachi by each arm, pulling him out of the corner, and ramming him right back in. TK steps over Mariachi, who is on all fours, and jumps onto his back. TK then picks up Mariachi, and delivers a backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK backs Mariachi into the corner, and fires off European uppercuts, then tags Reject, and lifts Mariachi in a hangman's hold. COACH Oh yes, my favorite move! COLE Reject measures Mariachi, and delivers a kick to the midsection! Reject poses for the crowd, to boos, then covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE Mariachi, to his credit, still fighting! Reject whips Mariachi into the ropes, and puts his head down, and Mariachi delivers a kick! COLE Now Mariachi with a chance to tag! However, Reject hooks the leg, then makes a tag to TK, who comes in and drops an elbow on the helpless Mariachi. TK then picks up Mariachi, and drops him throat-first across the ropes! He then whips him across the ring, and floors him with a big clothesline! TK tags Reject back in, and Reject places one foot on the chest of Mariachi... 1... 2... Mariachi grabs the leg of Reject and rolls him up! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly gets to his feet and stomps away on Mariachi, then climbs to the top rope, and drills him with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Reject makes a tag to TK, who whips Mariachi across, and charges...but Mariachi gets a foot up, then comes out with a bulldog! Mariachi then rolls over slowly, and makes the tag to Moracca! COLE And there's the tag! Moracca jumps in, and delivers a dropkick to TK, then another to Reject! He then delivers another to each man, before delivering a foot to the gut of Reject, and executing a FAME-ASSER~! Cover... 1... 2... TK breaks the count! COLE And TK there for the save! Mariachi comes in and dropkicks TK from behind, sending him over the top to the floor! Reject then floors him with a clothesline as he turns around! However, Moracca hammers Reject, and attempts an Irish whip, Reject reverses, and TK reaches up and trips Moracca! COLE And a cheap shot from the outside! Moracca, dazed, stumbles to his feet, just in time for Reject to catch him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH Forget it, Cole! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...the team of THUNDERKID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COLE So a big win for Thunderkid and Reject heading into this Sunday, as they hope for another big win that will get them their first tag team championship! Folks, we'll see in Albany New York this weekend for School's Out! On an image of ThunderKid and Reject standing triumphantly atop the turnbuckles, performing the classic belt motion we dissolve into the show's credits and then... FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
