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Desert Island Draft: Movie Edition

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King Kong

 

I know this is a presitgious movie, and an important movie, but is it really one you'd want to watch over and over again?

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Oooh, low blow.

And yes...that includes the one that everybody likes.

Which one? There's, like, three or four Coen flicks which might qualify as such.

 

I meant the Big Lebowski as that's the one that every stupid person I meet loves from their comedies.

 

Now that I think of it there actually is another Coen brothers movie that I do like.

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Oooh, low blow.

And yes...that includes the one that everybody likes.

Which one? There's, like, three or four Coen flicks which might qualify as such.

 

I meant the Big Lebowski as that's the one that every stupid person I meet loves from their comedies.

 

Now that I think of it there actually is another Coen brothers movie that I do like.

 

The fuck is wrong with Lebowski?

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I watched it when it came out and I didn't like it. Then I watched it about 3 months ago since everyone thought I was nuts..and I still don't see what's everyone sees in it.

 

Like...at all.

 

I just don't find it entertaining in any way.

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Magnolia

 

I was originally going to try to limit this to one movie per director but fuck that, this movie's way too good to just leave sitting on the table. I think what's most interesting about it is how close it really comes to just being a complete and total trainwreck. I mean, holy shit, there's a scene where all the characters stop what they're doing to sing along with an Aimee Mann song! And then later, just when you think it couldn't possibly push any farther into the realm of the ridiculous, it starts raining frogs. This should be a laughable, embarrassing mess, but somehow it all works beautifully.

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Oh you fucker. I didn't give a shit about Anderson's other movies (they're good but not Desert Island Good), but I so wanted that one.

 

I can understand bps not liking Lebowski. Even though I enjoyed it a lot and found it very funny, I don't get the bizarre amount of worship which some people heap on it, calling it the funniest movie ever or what have you. It's got a very odd sense of humor which plenty of people just wouldn't like.

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What kills me is that I have a very odd sense of humor. It's really weird spending years trying to explain to people how some of the off the wall stuff I like is funny to me...and then have them say "oh...have you eve seen the Big lebowski?" ... It's like Cartman in that episode where people think he'd like Family Guy because it's "the same kind of humor". I understand why that drove him nuts.

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I get that. Sort of how none of my closer friends from the past decade can comprehend that I hated Scream. "How is that possible, it's like the most perfect combination of everything you like!" No. No it wasn't. That's far from the only example, I regularly get into fights with film snobs about Clockwork Orange and plenty of other movies.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

Duck Soup over A Night at the Opera?

 

Don't get me wrong, I love both of those, but the latter one just slays me.

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'a night at the opera' is really funny, but that love story is just sickeningly bad. every time they're on the screen i want to throw shit at them. it also builds up to what's supposed to be this big climactic event (the titular opera), but it's just not as satisfying as the rest of the movie tries to make it. i can't really put my finger on why, but when it was over i was left going "wait...that's it?"

 

'duck soup' is like the perfect marx brothers movie because they're distilled to their most pure form and there's nothing to clutter up the screen time. it's funny shit, and that's all it is. and "but i can't see the stove" is also my favorite groucho line.

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Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn - Sam Raimi (1987)

Oh, come on! You know you love seeing Raimi torture his best friend (Campbell) by making him throw himself down stairs, against walls, through (sugarglass) windows, and covering him with gallons of colored karo syrup, all done during a record heatwave down south, all for the sake of hilarious gross-out horror! This is one of the movies that made Raimi able to do the Spider-Man flicks later in his career, and it's a true classic of underground horror. I'd love to watch this goofy masterpiece over and over again, and then argue with myself over whether the first 10 minutes are meant to be a quick synopsis of the first movie, or if the entire flick is just one big remake (HINT: it's the former, even stated so by Campbell and Raimi themselves during commentary tracks).

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I'm shocked- SHOCKED- that this one is still available. My list was in desperate need of comedy, and this is the funniest movie of all time.

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Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn - Sam Raimi (1987)

Oh you fucker. I didn't give a shit about Anderson's Raimi's other movies (they're good but not Desert Island Good), but I so wanted that one.

 

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The Empire Strikes Back

 

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This is my second favorite Star Wars movie... the dark one... great characters and a good story.

 

...And I thought they smelled bad, on the outside.

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Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn - Sam Raimi (1987)

Oh you fucker. I didn't give a shit about Anderson's Raimi's other movies (they're good but not Desert Island Good), but I so wanted that one.

Well, I got some other gems lined up...and I think they'll increase in quality as I go on.

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Blowup

 

Antonioni works with a male fantasy: sex, drugs, rock & roll, danger, etc. It's like my favourite tale of intrigue. David Hemmings is hilarious as the film's protagonist and enviable prick. "Yeah, baby, yeah!" was funny once. Excellent mise-en-scene featuring vibrant sets, costumes and colors. It features one of those ending scenes that cause us to rethink the whole film. It's hardly a chore to watch this film more than once.

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Dazed & Confused- Dir. Richard Linklater 1993

 

Great movie with a killer soundtrack about the last day of school deep in the heart of Texas in 1976. The film would feature many up and comers such as Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck, Milla Jovovich

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When you bury Milla down in the middle of an ensemble, she tends to just kinda fade into the background. (Thankfully so, considering she tends to be Keanu Riffic in leading roles.) And I'm not sure if she even had any lines. Also, it was the last movie she did for a few years before getting her career back with The Fifth Element, so it's often easy to forget she had an earlier career.

 

...wait a minute. Looking at her IMDB profile, and doing the math from her birthdate to some of her credits... she was fifteen when she got nekkid in Return to the Blue Lagoon? Meanwhile, the website claims they brought in a body double for her nude scenes a year later in Chaplin. Curiouser and curiouser.

 

::surf, surf, surf::

 

...and she took her first supermodel job at 11 years of age, and her debut role in a film was in a frigging Zalman King movie, so yeah she was probably fucked from the start. Maybe literally. IMDB also claims she was on the cover of High Times in 1984 when she was nine, but I found the issue in question and they seem to be off by a decade. Weird shit, dude.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic
'a night at the opera' is really funny, but that love story is just sickeningly bad. every time they're on the screen i want to throw shit at them. it also builds up to what's supposed to be this big climactic event (the titular opera), but it's just not as satisfying as the rest of the movie tries to make it. i can't really put my finger on why, but when it was over i was left going "wait...that's it?"

 

'duck soup' is like the perfect marx brothers movie because they're distilled to their most pure form and there's nothing to clutter up the screen time. it's funny shit, and that's all it is. and "but i can't see the stove" is also my favorite groucho line.

 

Favorite Groucho line is probably harder than favorite Beatles song.

 

Riding the steamer trunk around the ship is up there, or the bit where they switch the rooms around at the hotel. Chico and Harpo playing the piano and harp for the children on the ship is just the most purely innocent clownish humor ever. I love it.

 

The love story actually doesn't really bother me, even though it was written in fat crayon. I find that sort of thing acceptable in a lighthearted comedy in that time period. Make the same movie today and I'd hate it.

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West Side Story

My turn to grab a musical. I just watched this movie a couple of years ago, but it really ignited my love of musicals. I enjoy it every time I watch it.

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