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Guys who you KNEW sucked

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For me, even when I was a kid, I always KNEW Brutus Beefcake sucked, especially when he got super pushed as Hogan's best buddy, and for his couple of IC title shots.

 

 

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Kevin Nash. His moves were executed so lazily that they look like they wouldn't hurt anybody. Compare that to someone like Sid who has equal or less talent, but who at least looked like he was destroying people in the ring.

 

And of course the usual oafs like Mongo McMichael.

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There weren't many guys that I outright thought sucked as a kid (Hell I'll admit Giant Gonzalez scared the shit out of me as a mark). Certainly, some guys were a lot better than others and some guys didn't do anything for me at all but I bought that the B.S. mantra that the guys I saw in WWF and WCW were the best in the world.

 

However, even as a 10 year old renting Survivor Series '89, I realized that Zeus really couldn't hang with The Hulkster and the rest of the bunch. I don't think he ever displayed a wrestling hold in his brief run in the WWF. I just remember watching him and thinking "Wow- this guy is really big and menacing...wow this guy sucks"

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Kevin Nash. His moves were executed so lazily that they look like they wouldn't hurt anybody. Compare that to someone like Sid who has equal or less talent, but who at least looked like he was destroying people in the ring.

 

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I was always a huge Nash mark.

 

Guys I always knew sucked when i was younger:

 

Warlord

Barbarian, unless he was with Meng as the Faces of Fear against a good team, or doin a total squash.

Larry Zybisco - I never liked this guy.

Hillbilly Jim

Crush/Orange Crush/Bian Adams

Brutus Beefcake - the only time I liked him was as the Disciple. He didn't talk and just hit a decent stunner on mofuckers for Hogan sometimes.

TugBoat

Sgt. Slaughter - I'm the biggest G.I. Joe fan in the world, always have been, and I love Sarge as a Joe, but I never liked his matches except for when he was doin' his Iraqi heel stuff.

Jim Duggan - He'd suprise me every once in a while, but even his WCW Satuday Night 2 minute squashes were boring most of the time.

Virgil - Except for when he finally turned on Dibiase. I still love that entire angle.

Glacier - I was fucking HYPED for his debut, then after the light show, it was all down hill. Except for when he went heel and was oblivious to the fans hating him, then realising and being a major prick all the time.

King Kong Bundy and pretty much any of the dudes that were just there because they were big fat dudes.

Zues

The Bushwackers and The Nasty Boys most of the time.

Mongo

Kevin Green

Jim Niedhart most of the time, especially as a singles wrestler.

 

 

I did buy into the whole "WCW and WWF are the absolute best, no matter what" mantra as well, Kamala.

 

If you weren't in one of the big 2 companies, then to me you didn't matter. Unless it was older dudes my ex-stepdad would introduce me to on old SMW and NWA reruns and shit.

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Dave Sullivan was that way for me. WCW kept pushing the guy and my god did he suck.

 

1) Yes. I usually respect all workers for one reason or another, but I really hated evaD. He was just awful.

 

2) Did you know that Frank Stallone is one of the 'celebrities' announced to compete in Hogan's celebrity wrestling reality show?

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Even now there's few wrestlers I really 'hate'.

 

But, probably The Bushwhackers. Not to the point of being unwatchable, but to the point of 'wow, these guys sell a beating really weird and have maybe two moves each besides punching and kicking'.

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I always thought JYD sucked. Some might bash me for that, but I never had any use for the guy. None of his stuff looked good at all. It's funny because in the Death of WCW they compared Ron Simmons' WCW push unfavorably to JYD in Mid South for Watts, yet Simmons at his peak was 3x the worker.

 

George "The Animal" Steele was someone else I thought was horrible.

 

Guys like Beefcake to me were a bit overpushed but at his peak Beefcake WAS actually a pretty decent wrestler.

 

And I'll go ahead and say it: I actually liked Glacier and Blue Chipper Rocky Maivia.

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Here's my list of guys I knew absolutely sucked:

 

1) George Steele

2) Sivi Afi

3) Giant Gonzales

4) Zeus

5) Mantaur

6) Junkyard Dog

7) Hillbilly Jim

8) Uncle Elmer

9) Erik Watts

10) Greg Gagne

 

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Ludvig Borga was a guy that I thought was absolutely scary, until I saw the Survior Series match which pitted the Steiner Brothers, Undertaker and Luger VS Yokozuna, the Quebecers, and Borga. He had a good look but he couldn't do jack in the ring.

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As a kid, I thought Bob Backlund really sucked during his early 90s babyface run. The Bushwackers always seemed to have crappy matches as well.

 

As the Sheepherders Luke and Butch kicked all forms of ass. But as the Bushwhackers they did blow serious chunks.

 

I remember I liked Koko B. Ware even though he sucked, Frankie was the most redeeming part of the gimmick.

 

Others that I knew sucked but still got a kick out of watching...

 

Sam Houston

Mulkey Brothers

Barry Horowitz

Brian Adias

Jake "The Milkman" Milliman

 

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Men's Teoh and Dick Togo are awesome.

 

AWESOME!

 

I was coming out of my mark phase, but Marcus Bagwell was always shitty in my eyes.

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Sgt. Slaughter - I'm the biggest G.I. Joe fan in the world, always have been, and I love Sarge as a Joe, but I never liked his matches except for when he was doin' his Iraqi heel stuff.

Jim Duggan - He'd suprise me every once in a while, but even his WCW Satuday Night 2 minute squashes were boring most of the time.

 

I thought both of these guys sucked when I was younger, but as I grew older I learned to enjoy their work. Slaughter's 80's stuff in the WWF was awesome and the Sheik/Slaughter bootcamp match is one of my favorite matches of that decade. Duggan in Mid-South was also great (Duggan/Dibiase in the Cage with a bunch of other gimmicks is another match that I would rank upon my favorite matches of the 80's. His whole Mid-South run was greatness though) and he was just so much more motivated in that company compared to his WWE run.

 

I can't really think of too many. I thought Ice Train, Fred Ottman (Shockmaster/Tugboat/Typhoon), Ed Leslie (Brutus Beefcake), Stevie Ray, Nash, and Mable all sucked when I was younger. Suprisingly enough, I ended up enjoying Viscera/Big Daddy V's work when he got older and I began to appreciate how suprisingly athletic he could be at points (The spinkick he does rules).

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I thought Rey Mysterio sucked. He had no business being in the ring with big guys like Jindrak/O'haire, let alone beating them up with his flippity.

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Guest cobainwasmurdered
And the other two members of Kientia.

 

There were four of them, actually. And they're all good, but only in their homeland.

 

Dick Togo

TAKA

Funaki

MEN'S Teioh

Shiryu

 

Super Boy and Hanzo Nakajima, were members too at one point or another. I remember Super Boy better than Hanzo.

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The Natural Disasters basically did the same squash match from mid-1991 to WM8. Superstars woud basically grind to halt every time their matches came up. Their face turn did wonders.

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Speaking of doing the same match, the Bushwhackers fell in that category. Even as a little kid, I didn't like them, and knew they were nothing special in the ring.

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I don't think I hated the Bushwhackers but I was certainly very indifferent to them as a mark. And I always sort of knew that they were the drizzling shits workrate wise.

 

But I did mark out for their guest appearance on Family Matters beating the shit out of Urkel and Carl Winslow.

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