Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2008 TONIGHT **** All 8 Male Champions (though Malaysia may have a penis!) In ONE ring THE MATCH OF CHAMPIONS~! World Heavyweight Champion, US Champion and Tag Team Champions combine as Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat team with Team Heyross, to take on World 6-Man Tag Champions Cucaracha Internacional and the OAOAST Heartland Champion Sandman9000! **** THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory brings a world wide audience of millions to their television sets for the greatest show in paordy e-fed entertainment. Their eyes are dazzled by the breathtaking introductory video, a glossy production which features steel grey closeups of superstars in various locations trademark to their personality, along with equally metalliac images of these same entertainers performing mind boggling stunts, such as Jumbo squeezing into a pair of pants and not a MuMu. When the video closes we see... FEMALE VOICE OVER The Sovereign Bank Arena and Pizza Hut Present... OAOAST HeldDOWN (LWO stays strong, b.) We mercifully cut past this dipladated shithole and its miniscule attendance to our battle tested announce name, who celebrate the greatness of New Jersey by wearing shirts that read "I'd rather be in NY". Wouldn't we all! COACH OAOAST GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! PAIN KILLERS, STEROIDS, HORSE TRANQULIZERS, GHB, HGH, BIFF ATLAS' TESTICLES, EVERYTHING MUST GO! COLE What are you talking about now? COACH If we weren't going out of bidness, why else would we be performing in this dump? I've seen a bigger turnout for a retard production of shakespeare at the park, and ain't nobody checkin for some austic art fags in tights. COLE You're a credit to the company. The reason we're in Trenton, is because we like to give all our fans, in big cities and small, an oppurunity to take in the great experience of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH Plus we can't afford the rent at the 20,000 seat Prudential center. COLE That to. Multicolor spotlights fall across an entrance stage that's been reduced in size to accomodate this horrible, horrible, arena, before we hear... HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! COLE And we'll start things off with three time tag team champions, and two of the most disliked men in the division! COACH And its disgusting that the only rock n wrestling band that matters, The Rockers, have to play to crowds so small! Kurt Cobain’s vocals boom through the loud speakers as Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly lead out Synth and Logan, both rocking the angel wings that have gotten OAOAST legal a call or two from Victoria’s Secrets’ lawyers. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being led down the aisle by HOLLY-WOOD… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” As the Heavenly Rockers loosen up, Abdullah says a special prayer asking for strength and protection from evil for his band of rockers. The arena then becomes one giant laser light show as "Like The Angels" by Rise Against hits to a thunderous ovation, welcoming the heavily popular teenybopper tag team of MARV and MEL whose passion for skateboarding is second only to their passion for Christ. BUFFER And their opponents, hailing from Laguna Beach, California... total combined weight 370 pounds, the only identical tag team in the sport today… MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The smoke machine in full force, MARV and MEL leap through a thick cloud that’s engulfed the entranceway and head down the aisle showing off those pearly white smiles. The guys slap hands and pose with female admirers to buy time as Michael Cole gives us a brief history lesson. COLE What a match-up this should be as there’s no love lost here. Let’s take you back to Anglepalooza where we pick up action moments following the elimination of Synth Abdul-Jabbar. What happened next still has the Christ Air Express fired up. COACH They ought to quit crying over spilled milk. OAOAST BACKTRACKER Anglepalooza 2008 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment As Melody makes the point that Synth should take a walk, that gets Holly all riled up as well, causing the girls to go face to face! COACH See, this is why managers are supposed to be in the backsta... Suddenly, the still raging Synth spots Holly and Melody being held apart by the referee and runs over, GRABBING MELODY BY THE HAIR AND YELLING RIGHT INTO HER FACE!!!! COLE HEY! HEY, COME ON NOW! The referees try and pleads with Synth let Melody go, still holding him by the hair. Neither Jock or Baron are in any position to see what's going on or do anything about it... as Synth places her in a front facelock, threatening to DDT her on the floor! "THREE!" COLE Don't do this Synth, come on! "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Like The Angels" fires up and MARV of The Christ Air Express bursts through the curtain. Already getting a head of steam up on his way to the ring, MARV suddenly breaks into a full sprint as he sees his sister in danger, Synth backing up down the aisle towards the exposed concrete in the aisle... and THANKFULLY getting clattered to the ground by MARV before he can follow through with his threats! COLE Thank god for MARV! MARV goes crazy on Synth, clubbing away at him as things continue to spill out of control on the outside. Beaten against the guardrail, Synth reaches out and headbutts MARV in the gut to buy himself time to get away. MARV rushes right after him though, chasing The Synthmestier around the ring! COACH The footage proves Melody was at fault, Cole. She had a bout of ringside rage. All Synth tried to do was protect Holly. COLE By physically manhandling a woman?! Give me a break. Unlike the rest of us, MARV and MEL don’t need to be refreshed on their history with Synth and Logan. They HURL THEIR JACKETS at the Heavenly Rockers and pounce on them. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" * DINGDINGDING * The sound of the bell means the match is officially underway, though the action has already begun. Whipped into the ropes both Heavenly Rockers are the recipients of back body drops, and then are clotheslined over the top to the floor. Flat on their backs in a world of hurt, the Heavenly Rockers find themselves in more pain, blues and agony after MARV and MEL crash down onto them with a pair of SLINGSHOT CROSS BODY SPLASHES!! MEL rolls Synth inside and takes to the air. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! COLE Oh, look at this. He‘s got him. What an upset this would be. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! Holly and Abdullah yank MEL outside. The tough guy that he is Abdullah HIDES behind Holly as MEL confronts them. The Angel of Death isn’t intimidated though. Part of which can be attributed to her being a tough cookie, the other because her husband Logan Usher Mann shoots up the rear and delivers a DOUBLE AXE HANDLE SMASH to an unsuspecting MEL! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” As the referee keeps MARV at bay, Logan drops MEL throat-first on the guardrail and proceeds to put the boots to him with help from Holly and Abdullah. COACH You know what they say, Cole. A family that plays together stays together. The Macho MACHO Mann accepts the tag and suplexes MEL inside, making the cover afterwards. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Logan stomps MEL some more, verbally insulting him in the process. A quick Irish whip leads to a back elbow, and then a meeting between MEL’s face and Synth’s boot. Once again the legal man, Synth Abdul-Jabber slams MEL near the corner and goes up to the middle rope. COLE Uh-oh. MEL in big trouble here. We all know what’s coming up next. In high spirits this evening, Synth entertains the crowd with a little air guitar before dropping the SKYHOOK ELBOW… "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" …ON NOTHING BUT CANVAS! COACH The lights were on but nobody was home, Cole. COLE Serves Synth right for wasting all that time showboating. MEL turns onto his stomach pumping his fist and stomping his foot on the mat to energize himself and the crowd, brother MARV encouraging him on. Lolly and Colonel Abdullah aren’t as positive towards Synth, all screaming at him to make the tag, perhaps feeling the match slipping away. Synth reaches out and tags Logan, who grabs MEL by the foot and brings him up to his feet, spinning him around for a WICKED LEFT-- NO, MEL ANSWERS WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK AND THE TAG! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pumping his fists wildly MARV goes BONKERS on Logan. Staggered by a series of blows Logan is easily whipped into the ropes and flipped onto his back. REVERSE DIVING HEADBUTT finds its mark and the cover is made. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! MARV rams Logan into the buckle and hammers away from the second rope. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... Hearing footsteps MARV surprises Synth with a MOONSAULT and goes to town on him! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Suddenly CPA appears on the scene, TOSSING LOGAN OVER THE TOP ROPE AND THRUSTING HIS BOOT INTO THE FACE OF MARV! * DINGDINGDING * COLE No, not again! MEL attacks from the air, but he’s swatted away like a fly, then planted in the center of the ring courtesy of the HR BLOCKBUSTER (DOMINATOR)! COACH Message sent and received. COLE Get this guy out of here. And let’s do the same ourselves. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match as result of a DQ.... THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS. CPA is escorted backstage by OAOAST officials as we go to break or whatever. COMMERCIAL SCHOOL'S OUT. FALLOUT. BOHEMOTH SPEAKS NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2008 We're shown an outdoor image of the OAOAST's total refusal to shell out the cash to lease a decent arena in a city that someone outside of the northeast can actually pinpoint on a map as Sara Bareilles "Bottle It Up" laments our lack of decent accomodations. After that not-so passive agressive jab at our schedule makers passes we're brought to the live arena where... "Liberate" by Disturbed starts playing just as soon as we return from commercial, and the capacity crowd in the arena seems pleased to here the theme song of a certain hoss. Stepping out from the back, the ever-dapper BOHEMOTH appears before the crowd, drawing a favorable response...a far cry from some of the reactions he has gotten recently. COLE Listen to the crowd, Coach! It seems like Bohemoth is back in their good graces after School's Out! COACH They're just following the leader, Mikey Cole. Now that Bo is in good standing with Zack, of COURSE they're not going to boo him! COLE Why would you say that? COACH Because it's on the scri... COLE OH! Okay then, good point! COACH What? Seemingly pleased with the reception, as it's certainly better than what he's been getting in recent weeks, Bo smirks kindly to the crowd as he takes the mic and addresses them. BO I wanted to come out here tonight and talk about what went down at School's Out just a little over a week ago. I want to talk about what went down between Zack Malibu and I not only in that match, but after it. The crowd, respectful of Bo now, applaud his statement, and likely his effort in that contest. BO School's Out was a huge wakeup call for me. It's no secret I went into that match ready to do Zack Malibu bodily harm like no other has done before. I had grown sick of his ego, of his political stroke, and honestly, I had grown sick of him as a human being. I wanted to END Zack Malibu at School's Out. The crowd, who had come back around to Bo's side, start booing in defense of their hero. BO Hey, don't start with the boos just yet, let me finish. I admit, that was my motivation heading into that match. Zack and I have had quite the history, what with my former allegiances and all, but the feud we've had, it started as a competition, as a way for us to motivate each other to be the best, to better ourselves. Somewhere along the way, that changed. It became more than a race...it became a war. It became about more than just a chance at the OAOAST World Title...it became about respect, and blindly I couldn't see that Zack was trying to motivate me to come at him hard, to not let friendship get in the way. Obviously, that's the way things went down, but not the way he expected. After all our differences, he stuck his hand out to me not once, but twice, and I refused it. I refused to believe that Zack wasn't trying to come out of it looking like the bigger man, to try and overshadow me, but after the night he beat me on live television, it stirred something inside me. It made me realize that Zack Malibu was right...that in this business, it's a luxury to have people's respect. In that locker room you have allies and you have enemies, but very rarely do you have friends. In a business as cutthroat as ours, a handshake is like being handed a million dollars...you'd be a fool not to take it, and that's why I'm glad Zack Malibu was able to turn the other cheek and didn't let our recent history affect his decision to shake my hand at School's Out. It's also why I'd like to ask Zack Malibu to come out here right now, because for those of you who may have missed out on School's Out, I'm going to shake his hand in the middle of this ring right now! The crowd roars, and Bo turns towards the entranceway, only having to wait for a few seconds before Papa Roach's anthem "Getting Away With Murder" whips the crowd into a frenzy! COLE Here he comes! As well-dressed as his peer that stands in the ring, Malibu comes out to a great reaction, pleasing the paying audience with his appearance. Zack heads to the ring and steps through the ropes, going nose to nose with Bo before the two men shake hands once again to a huge pop. Bo mouths something to Zack, who responds, and Bo hands over the mic, stepping back and offering center stage to the OAOAST's favorite son. MALIBU You know, Bo, you're absolutely right. This is a cutthroat business that we've decided to become a part of, and yes, friends are few and far between. I know that weeks back, you thought that the things I said and did were a part of some grand scheme to undermine what you accomplished, and the face is, it never was. You DID beat me at Anglemania, and you won our little series at School's Out, and I make no excuses. You are a phenomenal athlete, one of the best in our locker room and one of the best that's come along in a long time. The fact is is that those qualities, there's a lot of people who can have them...but to be more than just a face in the crowd, sometimes you have to step up. You have to earn your keep, and that's why I'm glad you got fired up. Do I wish that we did things differently? Some, because there were a few times I thought we were at the point of no return. Think back to over six years ago, when I won my first World Title from Anglesault...there was a guy at that time who HATED me. Despised me, cursed the ground I walked on...and you would think that after I took his World Title from him, it would fuel that rage that much more, only it didn't. It opened his eyes. It made him see that I was willing to go to any length not just for myself, but for this company, and THAT is why I am who I am today. I made myself by giving it my all, never quitting, and ultimately, respecting this business and what brought me to the dance. Did I fear you taking my spot, Bo? Honestly, no...because you have your own spot to fill in wrestling history. You don't need mine. You aren't going to need to fill anyone's shoes, because you've got your own pair on...nice pair by the way...I'm sure that was $500 well spent... Bo snickers, and the crowd gets a quick laugh at the expense of the Metrosexual Monster. MALIBU ...but you are THERE. You have the attention of millions of fans, of everyone in that locker room, and most of all, you have earned where you are at the old fashioned way. You came at me strong, you never let up, and you deserve to be respected for everything you've done. Bo says "Thank you" to Zack, and while that is met with cheers, they soon shift to boos, as two superstars emerge to make their presence felt in the arena. COACH Looks like we got company, Mikey Cole! COLE James Blonde and Faqu? What are they doing out here? Faqu just stands there, snarling in menacing fashion, while Blonde, the more articulate of the duo, takes his mic. BLONDE Sorry to interrupt the lovefest here, fellas, but...are you KIDDING ME? Bo, I mean, you can't be this stupid, can you? You're getting taken for a ride, my friend. See, let me tell you something about Zack Malibu. Zack Malibu offered you his hand not once, but twice, and you didn't take it. You made the right choice on those nights. As for School's Out, tell me, how easy was it to shake someone's hand while they're holding a knife in it? The crowd, not happy with Blonde's allusions, let him have it verbally. BLONDE Oh boo-hoo. You people are just as blind. Zack Malibu is a human meat grinder...just taking whoever he can and cutting them down until they're of no use to him anymore. You think I don't know that, Bo? He did it to us! He suckered us in with the whole claim of respecting us, and what did it get us? Sent back to Japan to rot? We had to fight like hell to get back here to the OAOAST, and do you know why? Because Crybaby Malibu was still pissed that we didn't help him fight his battles for him! We were the only ones to stand up to the Almighty Malibu, and he tried to starve us for it! MALIBU I tried to STARVE you? You guys had it MADE here, and you, big man...you beat me in that cage for the HI-YAH Title two years ago, but you don't make mention of the fact that you left me to the wolves that same night. You don't mention the fact that I got distracted, on a personal level, by Bruce Blank, and that maybe holding your hands and letting you feed off our friendship wasn't of high importance! I have no problems respecting people's decisions to act alone, or to do their own thing, but don't you dare pin your career ups and downs on me! BLONDE Career ups and downs? Zack, let me make one thing perfectly clear...Faqu and I, our potential is LIMITLESS. We were written off as nothing more than an opening match act before you had even made your bones around here, and went overseas, worked out in some of the most brutal dojos, took on some of the best talent the Land of the Rising Sun had to offer, and we came back driven, motivated, READY. You saw the two young lions tearing through the jungle and you wanted to attatch yourselves to us oh so badly, and when we shot you down, you took it like a jilted lover, and NOW you're doing it to this guy. He kicked your ass TWICE in legit matches, nevermind all the times before you guys had even locked up, and now you're his drinking buddy? I mean Bo, are you THAT naive? Zack, rolling his eyes about Blonde's accusations, hands the mic to Bo so that he can answer. BO Am I that naive? No, I don't have a hard time believing anything, Blonde...including the fact that it seems you're placing the blame on the shoulders of someone who shouldn't have to carry that weight! Blonde isn't happy now, and Faqu simply fumes. BO Zack's reached out to a lot of people, and yeah, some have been more receptive than others. What I think is that now, you're witnessing something that you've been striving for since you came back here, something that's been missing since the days you were considered just another spot filled on the roster...it seems to me that you want RESPECT, and if that's the case, then why don't you and the big man do something about it! Faqu starts to storm the ring, but Blonde stands in his way, his act of cowardice drawing boos from the crowd. BLONDE Easy big man, easy. You know what, Bo, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you about him. When that knife is in your back, I won't be the one to pull it out. As for your offer, you want us to do something, we just might! Bo rolls up his sleeve and checks his watch, then looks at Zack. Simultaneously, they both step back and wave Blonde and Faqu on, drawing a huge response! COLE I have a bad feeling, Coach! Blonde, angered over being taunted, let's Faqu go, and he runs right behind him! The duo hit the ring, and now all four men are brawling, with Blonde going after Bo and Faqu targeting Zack! COLE It's a pier six brawl! COACH Can't you count, there's only four of them! Bo whips Blonde to the ropes and elevates him with a back bodydrop, then dumps him over the ropes with a lariat just as he gets to his feet! Zack meanwhile has Faqu in the corner, hammering on him with punches, but Faqu shoves Zack off! Zack quickly rolls to his feet and blocks a savate kick from the savage Samoan, then kicks him low, takes him by the head and hurls him through the ropes! COLE Dispatched as quickly as they came, and James Blonde and Faqu are not happy! "Getting Away With Murder" booms over the PA once again, as the fans go wild, with Zack and Bo standing tall inside the squared circle. Faqu knocks the ring stairs over and tries to get back into the ring, but Blonde does his best to hold his partner back, while at the same time vowing revenge. COLE I have a feeling this isn't the last we'll hear about this from any of the parties involved! COACH Parties? Why do you wait until the last minute to tell me these things? LATER ON TONIGHT THE UNSINKABLE MOMMY DUNCAN THE DUNCAN GIRLS PAY A VISIT TO GENEVIEVE DUNCAN LATER! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2008 (edited) Dear lads, were you aware that the near 300 yr old city of Trenton is the capital of New Jersey? If so you got an A in 4th grade geography. Let's celebrate the democratic process and its inability to usher in real change with a view of the state's capital building, and Tokio Hotel's Ready Set Go BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 10 minute time limit. Currently in the ring, from Alaska, weighing 190 pounds… THE ESKIMO KID! Dressed like an Eskimo, the Kid waves at the crowd, receiving tons of support from children in the audience. My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14 Showered by golden pyro, “Mr. Dick” Jock Mulligan hears it from the crowd as he poses onstage alongside Women’s Champ Malaysia. BUFFER His opponent, accompanied by the NEW OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION, the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns, MALAYSIA NERDLY! From San Antonio, Texas, 238 pounds… MR. DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” As he reaches the ringside area, Jock becomes incensed after a GROUP OF KIDS from the Make-A-Wish Foundation pat him on his arm/shoulder. Upon realizing who they are he changes his tune and acts friendly, no different than when heels visit our fighting men and women overseas. Except Jock is a dick and CHEWS THE KIDS OUT WHILE MALAYSIA CRACKS HER WHIP! COACH COLE Why that no good dirty rotten son of a… How can you laugh at that, Coach? It’s despicable. Mr. Dick rubs out the rest of his frustrations on the Eskimo Kid, beating him senseless before raking the laces of his boot across the Kid’s face. Temporarily blinded, the Eskimo Kid’s rammed into the buckle and pummeled in the corner. Whipped to the far corner he’s then splashed and nailed with a running kick to the face! COACH You talk about impact. That’s impact. A STIFF KICK to follow a BITE OF MY GIANT DICK. Jock’s giant dick not mine, although mine’s big too. I’m a brother. COLE And Baron Windels used to view Jock Mulligan as a brother. He’s standing by right now with these pre-recorded comments. Jock poses and taunts fans as the logo swoops in and settles in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Baron standing tall in front of a cloudy grey backdrop. BARON How’d you like your surprise at School’s Out, Jock? Bet it wasn’t too fun being attacked from behind. Now you know how I felt. But I’m not here to brag, partner. I’m here to help. Help you get back on the straight and narrow. They say time heals all wounds. While I’ll never forget, I can forgive you. Right now you’re driving on the wrong side of the road and there’s a mac truck with me behind the wheel set to collide with you Sunday night, June 29 at the Great Angle Bash. You took a wrong turn, man, but it’s still light out so you have time to find your way back. Like I said last week, I’m fully prepared to beat some sense back into you. COACH Baron’s got it all wrong, Cole. Jock’s the one who’s gonna to beat some sense into him, not the other way around. COLE We’ll find out in 3 weeks time at the Great Angle Bash. Mr. Dick scoops the Eskimo Kid across his shoulders and drops him down onto both knees, knocking the wind out of him. COLE THE COCK BLOCK! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… “MR. DICK“ JOCK MULLIGAN! The music plays and the replay airs. Then a special on-screen message. LIVE NEXT WEEK GUESTS MR. DICK & MALAYSIA COMMERCIAL LATER TONIGHT **** All 8 Male Champions In ONE ring THE MATCH OF CHAMPIONS~! NEXT THE UNSINKABLE MOMMY DUNCAN THE DUNCAN GIRLS PAY A VISIT TO GENEVIEVE DUNCAN LATER! Edited June 6, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2008 (edited) COLE Folks, Jade Rodez recently spent some time in Los Angeles with grandmother, the esteemed, Genevieve Duncan. COACH Grandmami be on some next level GILF shit! Dayum! COLE Krista, and Krista's congressmen father, the fool to my left does not speak for me. Please don't use your government connections to confine to me to a lifetime in a four foot cell in Guantanamo Bay. Thank you for having mercy on me. Thanks to Molly Nerdly, the siclopse, her government grant and the NYU film program her parents are paying 30,000 bucks for her to attend, we see sisters Jade Rodez and Maya Duncan-Blanchard strolling down the streets of the Rodeo Drive district in Beverly Hills. Maya looks like she's been pulled from the pages of a Limited catalog in a silver polka dot dress, oversized Gucci red lens sunglasses, and a matching rhinestone belt. Jade has tried her hardest to achieve the same level of fashion as her sister and mother, but can't seem to escape the constricting binds of her typical tracksuit outfit, and simply wears powder blue track pants with a white tanktop. Perhaps Jade might find some decent fashions within the numerous shopping bags the girls hold in their hands. JADE I'm so nervous about seeing Genevieve..er...Grandmother. God, I don't even know what to call her. MAYA You can call yourself out of the family, if you even think about calling her grandmother, or grandma! Or anything that points out she's not our incredibly gorgeous youngest Aunt. And you should be nervous. Very, very nervous. You're the result of mom making out, without protection going against everything I learned in sex ed, with a dude six years older than her in a dirty greyhound bus station bathroom, and waiting eighteen years before her secret was finally revealed on national TV. Grand..Genevieve is going to find some way to make it sound naughty. JADE Hmmmm....Maybe it won't be so bad. MAYA Who knows what she's going to say? "Don't worry, dear. Hardly anyone uses the term 'bastard' anymore." Or, "I would have thought a girl like Krista would have friends with purses full of condoms." JADE Those come way to easily to you. MAYA I spend a lot of time listening to their phone conversations. JADE Maybe, she won't even mention my sort of weird introduction into this family. Whenever something odd happens at the Rodez's, as far as we're concerned it never happened. MOLLY (O.S.) That's terribly crazy! JADE That's Michigan. MAYA That's what it says on the license plate. "Nothing potentially awkward". With a picture of a beaver looking the other way. Jade laughs. JADE Thanks, Maya. MAYA For what? JADE For giving me a heads up, for warning me. That's a really sisterly thing for you to do for me. Its nice. MAYA Oh. Well, yeah, I started to feel guilty 'cause I've been using your toothbrush to give the cat a flea bath. That's all. GENEVIEVE (O.S.) There they are! My two little princesses. Jade is forced to quickly compose herself lest she incur the sudden and swift judgment of her grandmother. The woman, who looks like Krista only several years older and several shades greyer. She sits at an outdoor table at the Beverly Hills' Cheesecake factory, nursing a Martini. Her granddaughter's join her, manuevuering their bags past curious patrons GENEVIEVE Jade, Jade, you get more beautiful every year. MAYA You've only known her a couple months. Genevieve passes Maya a nasty glare as the girls sit down, shutting Maya up. GENEIVEIVE Jade, is there anything you can't wear? JADE Just my Uncle Leon's underwear as a hat, we had a talk about that when I was five. MAYA (to Jade) That's what it says on the license plate. "Nothing potentially awkward". With a picture of a beaver looking the other way. JADE Is there anything I can't wear? As long as it doesn't exceed the limit on the credit card... GENEVIEVE (passing the girls a pair of Visa giftcards) And for that there's Genevieve. MAYA Awesome! I knew there was a reason I came here instead of sneaking into Sex In The City! GENEVIEVE I have another gift for both you dear girls. As a waitress drops waters off between Maya and Jade, Genevieve pulls a baby blue blanket out of one of her many shopping bags. JADE Its a baby blanket, and its so beautiful! Thank you, what a thoughtful gift. GENEVIEVE My mother made it when Krista was born. Don't let the Pierre Cardin label fool you. She sewed it in when he was eight MAYA Ewwww...it smells like vodka. GENEVIEVE She slept on it until she was twenty five. You know, she slept with it for so long, I finally had to tell him a black man robbed us and took it. Oh, honies! Only now I realize how awful that sounds. I mean, today I would just say "a man." An Arab man. I hadn't planned on saving it for her, quite frankly. I had always assume there was some manner of fallopian tube tying with the coming out. But, they seem to have rescinded that law in 1968. Here we are, back in the gay minefield. The flowers are prettier, but the bombs are still there. While Maya and Jade search for a way to change the subject, the waitress does this for them by coming to take a drink order. WAITRESS May I get you two lovely ladies something to drink. GENEVIEVE They'll have a scotch... MAYA On the rocks please! JADE We're not old enough to drink! GENEVIEVE Oh, honey, that's right! In which case, I'll take two scotches and they'll take two minutes to watch me drink them both. As Genevieve laughs at her mediocre humor, Jade and Maya mouth the words “cherry coke” and send the server on their way. GENEVIEVE I hope you two are getting along well. I do hope so. What is there more important in life than a sister's love? Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. JADE I agree. Yes. GENEVIEVE A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. JADE Right, well put. Well put. GENEVIEVE (looking down) To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. MAYA Are you reading those? GENEVIVE Oh honey, how absurd! JADE Yeah, you look like you're reading them. Molly zooms in on a napkin that is littered with numerous quotes and ideas on the subject of sisterhood from people such as Toni Morrison, Ami Li, Maya Angelou, Charles Schultz, and even George Washington! GENEVIEVE That's it. You're both out the will. Moving on, do you ever wonder why I look so good? Do you ever contemplate what motivates a seventy...woman of undetermined age to sculpt her body into something fit for lying stark naked atop the silk sheets in Hugh Heffner's boudoir? MAYA I think about all day at school. Whenever there's a cute guy hanging around my locker at school, I'm just like get lost, I'm thinking about my grandmother's naked body. And I think it might be because...you're insecure. GENEVIEVE She's fabulous, a fabulous kidder, and of course she's kidding because if she was being serious I'd tell her mother she was talking to a boy and she'd never leave the house until she's collecting newsletters from AARP. I do what I do, because I'm not happy being average. Most people are. They settle for things, darlings. MAYA I'd settle for not getting caught between bogger fights between Stephen Vogel and Trey Wilcox in 9 AM biology class. MOLLY (O.S.) I'd settle for not getting caught between bogger fights between Ned and Simon in my great uncle's funeral procession. GENEVIEVE Darlings, you have to continually be pushing to be better. People settle for the average and don't try to look for anything better. I want you to be the best you can be. Like moi. And that is why I have the finest jewelery on my wrist, the nicest cars in the garage, the best looking husban..well two out of three. But you can't stop yourself from hitting the pinnacle. Jade, I know how hard you've striven to live up to your mother's achievements, and her accolades. But you don't have to impress her, she loves you. She loves you both. You're the joys of her life. MAYA I thought that was her lifesize standup of Lucy Lawless? GENEVIEVE And you're both wonderful children. You don't have to meet her expectations, you already have. You have to meet mine. And the quicker the better, because my kids are disasters. They make me Chaloshes! MAYA What about Uncle Nick? GENEVIEVE Nick, Nick, god Nick. I don't want to kvetch here but I'm devastated that he decided to turn his back on acting for nursing school of all sins against his beloved mother. JADE Sometimes when you turn your back you create an opportunity for your front. GENEVIEVE Yes, but acting is his life, dear. His passion! His raison d'etre, non? Without it, he's just another sexually ambiguous male living off his trust fund in a town overflowing with them. MAYA He's played all the great roles, you know? Man on bus, man at counter, man number 3. Woman. As a nurse, he only has to play one role: JADE doctor. MAYA Uh, Aunt Ariel? GENEVIEVE Ariel! She's a moisheh kapoyer! MAYA (to Jade and the SiClopse) A person who does everything backwards. GENEVIEVE She soaks her bare breasts, that I gave her for graduation, in cat pee for a couple of minutes in front of few liquored up PHD's from Harvard at a loft in Brooklyn and suddenly that makes her an artist? MAYA Doesn't she have some paintings hanging at the Guggenhiem? GENEVIEVE If only we had the hours and patience for me to get into your dear Aunt Ariel. She's marrying a gay black Ethiopian man to help him stay in the country. Wouldn't it have been easier for her to run me over with a truck? JADE Aunt Clara? GENEVIEVE Your aunt Clara, disloyal, disobident. What is she doing having dinner with her children, I think some of them suffer from low level downs syndrome, on our traditional Hanukkah-shopping weekend? What else should I possibly say? Sure, she has the personality of a tree stump, and spending time with her is like sitting through a Kirk Douglas movie marathon. But Hanukkah is all about... misery and... obligation... and the Maccabees riding an elephant, or whatever the hell Hanukkah is about. But she can stay with her children! Who needs her and her supermarket makeup. JADE I wear supermarket makeup! Maya kicks Jade beneath the table. JADE Uh.....beddah them you, beddah them than you. That's what I say! GENEVIEVE And your mother. Oy vey! Where did I go wrong? All I wanted was for her to marry good Jewish boy, or even a good Christian boy willing to convert and become a rabbi an send his devout catholic parents a video tape of the conversion. And now this lesbian thing, a complete assault on her father's ability to ever move up in political office. An affront to my dreams of living in governor's mansion or better yet The White House. And there are times when I think maybe I had something to do with her becoming a lesbian. I used to let her go with her Aunt Peg to these Sports Illustrated Swimsuit shoots when she was younger because she said she liked photography. There was the time when we had six girls from the Swedish bikini team stay for the summer when she was in middle school, and whenever they went to beach Krista had to rub suntan lotion on them. Her babysitter was a Playboy playmate, she had excellent references. She liked dancing, so I used to take her down to the old forum to watch The Laker Girls practice. Her pediatrician was on the cover of Vogue several times. And she did get private swimming lessons from a Jamaican supermodel. No, I can't say I did anything that would've helped make her to a lesbian, nothing whatsoever. Just the hand fate dealt me. MAYA AND JADE ..... GENEVIEVE Maya, a girl as witty, funny, and as into sports as you is most likely heading down your mother's romantic path. So, Jade any boys in your life? Any cute Jewish boys, with a trust fund, a law or medical degree in your life? JADE Um....no actually no. Boyfriend wise I've been pretty in the dumps since about... MOLLY (O.S.) All your life? JADE Yes. GENEVIEVE Oh, honey, we've got to change that! What's a woman without a man to pay her millions of dollars in alimony and child support? JADE Well....mom did say that next week, she's gonna take me speed dating to help me with my...non existent love life. GENEVIEVE Oh, honey, speed dating! How wonderful! MOLLY (O.S.) Bisexual speed dating. GENEVIEVE I repeat “Why don't you all just run me over with a truck?” I need that like I need a hole in the head! As the three Duncan women continue to chat we fade out.. COMMERCIAL Edited June 6, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2008 (edited) COLE Earlier this week, as you may have seen via OAOAST.com we finally caught up with Sly Sommers at our OAOAST studios in . Let's take a look at this pre-recorded comments, with some huge revelations! ****************** Sat in a darkened room on a black leather chair, Sly Sommers leans back with a bottle of sports drink resting in his lap. Across from him sits Josh Matthews, a longtime associate of Sly's. Sly seems in a pretty serious mood, as he takes a deep sigh and another swig from the bottle. MATTHEWS Sly, first off thanks for talking to us here. Sly nods in acknowledgement. MATTHEWS Now, as everyone is probably aware and you especially, we haven't seen you around since The Milan Spectacular last month. So, I guess the first question to ask is... where have you been? SLY Should have expected that one. You know, I know plenty of people have had theories on this. Some people thought I might have packed it in after everything that happened in Milan. Some probably thought I'd fallen off the wagon again and was laying in some dirty back alley in Italy somewhere off my face. Fact is, I just needed time. Time to evaluate things. I've been back a little while now and gaining trust has been hard. Like I said, some people still think I've got my 'issues'. So, I guess I was surprised when I was hit with what I was hit with. I've spent so long trying to get people to trust me, imagine my shock when somebody I trusted stung me. MATTHEWS You're referring of course to James Cone superkicking you after your match. SLY Right. MATTHEWS So, back to the question of where you've been. SLY Well, what Cone did really got to me, so I had to get my head around that. But also, I had to re-evaluate some things. See, Cone showed me that I wasn't where I wanted to be yet. He beat me fair and square, one, two, three before all the bull(-bleep-) that went down afterwards. I wrestled Bohemoth a few weeks before and he ran right through me. Fact is, I wasn't performing to the level I wanted to. Maybe being back made me so happy, it took me that superkick to realise I was coasting along a little bit. Whatever, I decided that instead of going back with the rest of the travelling party after the European tour, I'd go and get myself ready. The comeback was great. But now, just 'being back' isn't enough. Which is why the past few weeks, I've been off training with somebody to help me get back to my very best. Somebody to get the best from me. Hopefully we'll be seeing that real soon. MATTHEWS And, what of James Cone? He suffered an injury not long after your match in Milan and hasn't been seen recently either, but I'm sure the time you two have spent away hasn't done much to calm the waters. SLY Josh, Cone's got this weird notion in his head that I disrespected him. I made one offhand comment... no, no. It wasn't offhand, it was an honest appraisal. OAOAST officials wanted to sit me down and talk. Pull no punches. I just said what I felt. I never meant to cause offence... and the fact Cone reacted the way he did tells me maybe that appraisal was pretty spot on. Obviously I touched a nerve. MATTHEWS Did James Cone prove you wrong about 'having the passion' with that superkick on you? Sly takes another sip of his sports drink. SLY Yes. No. I don't know. He proved he had a mean streak, but he went about it the wrong way. You know, this isn't an issue of passion or an issue of what I think of him. This is now an issue of trust. And take this from someone who knows a thing about being distrusted by the masses... it's not a nice feeling. James Cone has taken a dangerous road in his career. Some will say I'm a liability because of my past. Now, some will say Cone is a guy who can't be trusted. Both pretty lonely places to be. I'm trying to come out of that, while James Cone is rapidly digging his way into that hole. So, I have a challenge for Mr. Cone. Sly turns away from Josh to the camera. SLY The best way to show you your mistake is to show you not what you won in Milan, but what you lost. Respect. So, I have a challenge for you. You find any four guys who are still willing to team up with you. I'll find four guys who are still willing to put their trust in me. And we'll meet up... in WAR GAMES! Josh's eyes peak at the announcement, as Sly stands up and leaves the studio. ****************** COLE The challenge set for War Games and we now know the match is on. Team Sommers to meet Team Pheonix, at War Games in Minneapolis! COACH And the real test may just be finding people to round out those teams. NEXT **** All 8 Male Champions In ONE ring THE MATCH OF CHAMPIONS~! OMG NEXT COMMERCIAL Edited June 6, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2008 We're shown the many wonderful sights of Trenton, including a bridge that celebrates its working class roots, while also slamming the world at large under paying for its goods and keeping it a lower class blue collar death trap for any sort of hope and ambition. But, you can at least enjoy the sounds of the Clique Girls' Then I woke up On our return to the arena, we pan the crowd ahead of our historic main-event. The New Jersey crowd whoop their approval, with some very special guests in amongst them. Over in the third row we see Jumbo, Deuce Deuce Bigelow and Denzel Spencer with special seats in amongst the people. Elsewhere, Vitamin X sits with Princess Stacey discussing something amongst themselves. Front row seats have been bagged by Jamie O'Hara and The Christ Air Express. Even out of the arena there's great interest, as we cut back to see Landon Maddix and Megan Skye in their dressing room watching, while amongst those gathered around a more communal monitor is Alfdogg, stood with arms folded. COLE The eyes of the OAOAST are on this one, The Match Of Champions just moments away. Featuring all eight male OAOAST champions in this one fall, eight man tag team match, it promises to be one of the biggest main-event in HeldDOWN~! history Coach. COACH We've got guys watching backstage, I see guys sitting in the crowd, EVERYBODY wants to get a good view of this one. And why? Simple. You've got, like you said, all the champions of the OAOAST in this match... and every guy in that locker room and out here or wherever they may be wishes they were involved. Because these are the guys that are holding gold coming up. The measuring sticks in this company. Trust me, this is gonna be a great match, but the Rejects and the Spanish Flys and the Jock Mulligans, they're not watching it to be entertained, they're taking advantage of this rare chance to strain a scouting eye on all the champions at once. COLE You may well be right about that. The eyes of the world are on Trenton, New Jersey, it's The Match Of Champions! Let's not waste any longer and go up to Michael Buffer for the introductions. *DINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, wrestling fans, the following contest is your HeldDOWN~! MAIN EVENT of the evening! It is the first ever MATCH OF CHAMPIONS! Scheduled for one fall to a finish, it is an Eight Man Tag Team Match, featuring all of the title holders of the OAOAST in one ring at one time. And now, ladies and gentlemen... ARE YOU READY? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Albany, New York... ARE... YOU... rrrrrrrrrrRRRREADY!? "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then, for the thousands in attendance... and the millions watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen... LLLLLLLLLLLLET’S GET RRREEAADY TO RRRUMBLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! The lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. "I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone." The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. "White America/ I could be one of your kids." The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. "Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race." The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, hidden beneath two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER Introducing team number one. First, from 'South Of Heaven'. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds... a charter member of the OAOAST, he is widely regarded as the most sadistic man to grace this ring. He is a member of the Deadly Alliance... and the reigning OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... SSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAANNDDMMMMMAAAAAAAAANN... NNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEEE... TTHHHHHHHOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNDD!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sandman slides into the ring and rips off the bandanas, a sick smile on his face as he raises his title belt overhead. COLE The OAOAST original, Sandman9000. That Heartland Title will do him no good tonight though, this isn't a Heartland Division match-up. Tonight we're going to see what Sandman can do outside of his hardcore environment. COACH And make no mistake, he's no slouch as a wrestler. It's just, sometimes slicing and dicing is more fun. "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits next, Sandman kicking back in the corner while his partners make their way out. Nathaniel Black leads the way, raises his fists into the air with his 6-Man Title in hand. Behind him, James Blonde makes way for the chest pounding Faqu, clearly fired up for this match as he stomps ahead of his partners. Blonde and Black are a picture of confidence, and who can blame them with the crazed Samoan causing fans to cower as he passes. BUFFER And his tag team partners. Total combined weight, seven hundred and fourty seven pounds... they represent Cucaracha Internacional. Together, holders of the OAOAST WORLD 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... from Vancouver, British Columbia... "THE TRENDSETTER" JJJJAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEESSSSSSSS BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEEEEE!! "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUU!! And from London, England, NNAAAATTHHHHHAAAAAAAANNIIIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLLL BBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAACCKK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Beating his chest again, Faqu scales the ring steps and stares at Sandman for a second before he enters the ring. COLE It's going to be interesting to see how Sandman9000 blends with his 6-Man Tag Team Champion partners, especially somebody like Nathaniel Black. We all know how Black feels about wrestlers who's style conflicts his and I doubt he's a big fan of the deathmatches somehow. Sure enough, there's an uneasy look between Black and Sandman, barely acknowledging each other. It's left to Blonde to offer up a high-five. All is well for now it seems, the four standing side by side and watching on as "Shine" by Collective Soul begins to play and brings the New Jersey crowd around. A warm reaction greets the World Tag Team Champions, Benjamin and Moss looking all business as they walk out. Well, one walks, one rather limps as Charlie Moss takes it careful on his taped left knee. BUFFER And introducing the opponents! First, at a total combined weight of four hundred and eighty pounds... a team that have assembled the top accolades in both amateur and professional wrestling circles. The current OAOAST ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... together, they are TTEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM... HHHHEEEEEEEYYYYYYYRRRRRROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Looks and words are exchanged by Team Heyross and Sandman9000 from the outside of the ring. COLE I'm sure Moss and Benjamin will love to get their hands on Sandman tonight, he being the partner of Reject and Thunderkid of course. Issues still unresolved there after what happened back at School's Out. COACH Reject and Thunderkid aren't Tag Champions yet. So, yes. Definately unresolved. Suddenly, a piano plays a melody causing the crowd to rise to their feet. COACH Okay, I just went off this whole Match Of Champions thing. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. "COME ON!" *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing as Colombian Heat rushes out onto the stage, getting the crowd fired up. Heat runs to both sides of the entrance stage and fires that section of the arena up. The US Champion then hangs the belt over his shoulder and gives it a pat, acknowledging the fans before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. BUFFER Introducing next. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. He weighs in at one hundred and eighty pounds... one half of The Badd Boyz and the OAOAST UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... CCOOOOOLLLLLLLOOOOOOOMMMMMBBIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANN... HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Heat's trail down the aisle takes him to Team Heyross, tagging hands with them as well. Heat fires up the fans some more, jumping around on the spot in his eagerness to get going. COACH At least he's not going to do that annoying thing where he talks. COLE You mean when he fires up these great fans before the match? COACH Well, any time Heat talks is pretty annoying but that was the one I was alluding to at the moment, yeah. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" The crowd eagerly await the final Champion... "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" ...and with that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapse before out through the smoke strides the reigning World Champion, Tha Puerto Rican! PRL marches out and right down the aisle, to the sound of roaring cheers and the sight of dozens of PRL signs being thrust in the air. COLE In The Match Of Champions, here comes THE Champion! BUFFER And the final participant! He comes to us from San Juan, Puerto Rico... weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. The other half of The Badd Boyz... he is the reigning One and Only AngleSault Thread HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOORRRRRLLDD... ladies and gentlemen, this is THHHAAAAAA PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRRRTTOOOOOOOO... RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Climbing the steps, PRL scales the turnbuckles on the outside and raises the World Title in the air as he smells the electricity in the air. Into the ring slide Benjamin, Moss and Heat with the numbers now even and all eight champions find themselves in the ring for the first time. COLE What a reaction in New Jersey for Tha Puerto Rican! They are pumped for this historic match, that's for sure! COACH Congratulations PR, New Jersey likes you. You two deserve each other, you truly do. Blonde keeps Faqu from charging, calming him down as the sight of PRL standing tall on the turnbuckles riles him up. Leaping down, PRL calls his team together and they talk strategy, or namely who's going to start the match. The Badd Boyz and Team Heyross seem to be in cohesion for now, while across the ring James Blonde appoints himself leader, or at least mediator with his team-mates. COLE PRL will no doubt be a marked man tonight. We know that the 6-Man Champions will be looking to soften him up for their leader Landon Maddix, plus Sandman's fellow Deadly Alliance member Alfdogg has made no secret of his World Title aspirations either. So here we go, let's see who's going to start out... COACH Woah woah, wait a second Michael. Look. The camera pans away from the ring and to the top of the stage, where THE CUBAN WALL has strolled out unannounced! Taking up his position at the top of the ramp, Wall stands with arms folded watching on. COLE Like we said, everybody wants to get a good viewpoint for this match. And it looks like we're going to see the World Heavyweight Champion starting it out! PRL is indeed going to start, stirring up an air of excitement in amongst the crowd. The World Champ waits patiently, as across the ring it's decided on Nathaniel Black to start for his team. Blonde and Black high-five before The Englishman starts stretching out, eyes locked with Tha Puerto Rican's. *DINGDINGDING!* "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" With the support of the crowd behind him, PRL steps out of his corner and right into an exchange of words with Nathaniel Black. The mouthy cockney gets right up in front of Tha Puerto Rican and points out the size difference between them before daring him to take the first shot. PRL needs no second asking. He nails Black with a right hand. And another. Another. Another! Black is backed up by the punches, caught by surprise by the ferocity of the World Champion. Backed up into the ropes, Black is grabbed by PRL for an irish whip. The Englishman reverses the whip and ducks his head, looking to headbutt PRL in the midsection on the way back. But PRL goes up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout by Black, quickly back up to his feet and attempting to tie up PR's legs in some sort of submission! COACH Here we go! World Champ or not, PRL can't compete on the mat with Nathaniel Black! Realising this, PRL squirms around to free himself and manages to spin away, rolling away to the ropes. Arrogantly, Nathaniel shows Tha Puerto Rican just how close he came to trouble. PRL shakes it off and with Heat's encouragement, he locks hands for a test of strength. The two men lock one set of hands, but before they can clasp the second set Black pulls out a quick pirouhette into a hammerlock. COLE Black is argueably the best skilled technical wrestler in the OAOAST. Hold and counter hold, it comes so naturally to him with that European background. COACH And I'm pretty sure The Rock wasn't a great counter wrestler, so PR's screwed! PRL searches high and low for an escape before settling for throwing a back elbow. Black gets caught hard in the jaw and loses hold of Tha Puerto Rican, who quickly hits the ropes. Shaking off the elbow, Black swings with a clothesline. PRL ducks underneath though, building up speed off the ropes and baseball sliding through the legs of The Englishman. Caught out, Black turns around into a side headlock takeover. Hanging onto the headlock PRL shrugs off an attempted headscissors and leaves Black kicking the mat in frustration at being out-wrestled in that exchange. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE You were saying? PRL brings Nathaniel back up with the side headlock and reaches out, making the first tag to Quentin Benjamin. COLE Here comes someone who can match holds with Black! The former Pac-10 and NCAA Champion. Springing to the top rope, Benjamin comes down with a fist to the ribs of Black. He then wrings out the arm and bars it to keep control. Black places his free forearm under Benjamin's jawbone and forces him back against the ropes though, waiting for the referee's 5 count to force a break before headbutting Benjamin in the stomach! European uppercut from the European, before whipping Benjamin off the ropes. But Quentin rolls underneath a forearm strike and Charlie Moss quickly enters to help deliver a Double Dropkick! Blonde rushes in, but he takes a Double Dropkick and both men quickly roll outside, while PRL and Colombian Heat rush in to knock Sandman9000 and Faqu off the apron for good measure! All four men left in the ring work the crowd, while Cucaracha Internacional+9000 are forced to a- regroup and b- keep Faqu from going tearing ringside apart. COLE The World, US and Tag Team Champions are standing tall in the early going! COACH Thanks to double-teaming and cheapshots, let's call it how it is shall we? The 6-Man and Heartland Champions regroup, while referee Mike Chioda gets control in the ring. Back in slides Nathaniel Black, but he has no intentions of staying in for long. Instead, he slaps Faqu's hand and points him in. COLE Uh-oh. Quentin Benjamin's eyes widen a little as the big Samoan enters, ranting away in his native tongue. Looking him up and down, Benjamin tries to figure the best way to attack and as Faqu moves in, he tries a single leg trip. When your leg is the size of a tree trunk, it's not easy to trip though. Faqu goes nowhere and with Benjamin clinging onto him, he raises up his hands and strikes down across the back with overhand chops! Stung, Quentin backs away into a corner to recover. Faqu follows him in though... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and delivers a meaty knifedge to the chest! COACH Don't get that in the amateurs! Such is the force that Benjamin is bounced out of the corner, staggering away to catch his breath. Right on him, Faqu clubs him from behind, forcing Benjamin down to one knee. Faqu then scoops Benjamin up and slams him down, all on the orders of James Blonde who quickly makes the tag. Climbing his corner, The Trendsetter stands over his partners and extends his arms to a chorus of boos, before coming off the top with a Flying Kneedrop! COLE Textbook teamwork from Blonde and Faqu. The big Samoan does all the work and Blonde comes in with the opponent prone to put the finishing touches on. COACH If it works, go with it. After a fancy roll through to his feet, Blonde crawls back over to cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde pulls Benjamin up in a front facelock and instantly brings Faqu back in. COACH Quick tags, clearly the more cohesive team are Black, Blonde, Faqu and Sandman. COLE I don't know about that. Team Heyross are Tag Champions and The Badd Boyz have been back together for about 6 months now. COACH 3+1 is greater than 2+2. COLE No it's not. With Benjamin wide open, Faqu delivers a headbutt to the ribs with Blonde holding him in place. Benjamin falls to one knee and Faqu lines him up before landing a hard kick to the chest. Fighting for breath, Quentin is pulled back up. Irish whip is reversed... but only to arms length, as Faqu stays rooted to the spot! Benjamin tugs on the arm a couple of times but Faqu won't budge and eventually pulls Benjamin into a back elbow! With Quentin down, Blonde again calls for the tag. As before the Samoan scoops up and slams Benjamin before he tags out. Up top, JB makes a big show of himself again as he balls up the fist, throwing a shout-out to Marty Jannetty with the Fistdrop... ...INTO THE MAT!! COLE Blonde took way too much time posing up top that time! Benjamin quickly shuffles to his corner to tag Moss, cutting Blonde off from tagging out himself. With kicks and punches Team Heyross back Blonde up into the ropes and shoot him off, referee Chioda counting away. With only 3 on the clock, the World Tag Team Champions elevate JB up with a Double Flapjack and Quentin exits the ring, allowing Moss to pin... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm, Moss keeps Blonde at arm's length from the tag. Hammerlock and a slam, Moss with another quick cover... 1... 2... No! Moss keeps Blonde down by applying a top wristlock on the mat. Bridging up on his neck, Blonde tries to aleviate the pressure and look for an escape. He finds one by rolling backwards and to his feet, only for Moss to hang onto the arm into another hammerlock. COLE Blonde looking over to his corner to Nathaniel Black, wondering how in the hell that happened! COACH He's not the only one. Getting over the surprise, Blonde backs up and forces Charlie's back against the ropes. Reaching back he hooks the head, pushing up off the canvas and executing a flying mare... but Moss hangs doggedly onto the arm to come out on top with another hammerlock! COLE One of the most important aspects of amateur wrestling is grip and Charlie Moss is showing he's lost none of it. Moss brings Blonde back up, bringing him to the corner to tag in Colombian Heat for the first time. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE The US Champion in! COACH The US is being represented by a Colombian and the World by a Puerto Rican. No wonder the human race is in such a piss-poor state. Heat delivers a right hand to the shoulder as he steps in, then takes over with an armbar. Down to a knee goes Blonde and Heat smiles confidently, momentarily distracted by Cuban Wall still stood watching on the rampway but only for a second. Heat backs Blonde up into a neutral corner, then goes to town with a flurry of chops and punches in the corner! Blonde tries to cover up and Heat calls a halt in order to whip JB across the ring. As he approaches the opposite corner Blonde sticks his arms out and looks to go up and over on Heat. The US Champ goes with it but stops short of colliding with the turnbuckles. He waits for Blonde to land, then leaps to the middle rope and flips back with a Quebrada out of the corner to take JB down... 1... 2... Kickout! Heat looks for another irish whip, but this time Blonde reverses. On the rebound Blonde looks to scoop Heat up. Heat floats up and over the back, running Blonde into the ropes attempting an O'Connor roll. Blonde grabs hold of the ropes and pushes Heat off, the Colombian rolling through to his feet to catch Blonde running at him with a Hurricanrana! HEAT WHASSUP?! "WHASSUP?!" COACH Whassup!? Even guys like me don't say that! After exchanging ebonics with the New Jersey crowd, Heat comes off the ropes... and runs right into a desperation knee to the midsection. COACH Haha! Whassup now dawg!? Blonde wastes no time in getting over to his corner to get the tag to Sandman9000. The Heartland Champion enters the match for the first time and goes right at Heat with forearm strikes. Getting Heat dazed, Sandman then hits the ropes and goes for a clothesline. But Heat ducks and takes Sandman down with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! COLE That straight ahead style of Sandman9000, almost cost him there though. Back up quickly, Sandman goes back to the forearms. Heat ducks again on the second shot though, then fights back on the Heartland Champion with right hands! COLE Colombian Heat's not going to back down from a fight though, not even from Sandman! Sandman goes to the EYES of Colombian Heat though, which soon puts a stop to that. Sandman quickly follows up with a back suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Pulling Heat back up, Sandman scoops him off his feet and hangs him over the top rope. Another cover follows... 1... 2... No! The Heartland Champion drifts into Heartland mode, placing his foot across Heat's windpipe and gripping onto the top rope as he chokes the life from him! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Sandman breaks on four but clearly isn't happy about it. COLE Well, Sandman isn't going to get away with that kind of tactic tonight. After an arguement with referee Chioda, Sandman ends up exchanging 'views' with Tha Puerto Rican, which soon escalates into exchanging a wad of spit. PRL takes unsurprising exception to that and jumps into the ring, only for Chioda to hold him back. As this goes on meanwhile, Nathaniel Black stands on the back of Colombian Heat's head trapping his throat on the bottom ring rope. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH You see, Sandman and the 6-Man Champs are totally in synch, just like I told you. COLE They share a common bond for breaking the rules I'll grant you that. Sandman walks back over and pulls Colombian Heat to his feet whilst a clearly agitated PRL is sent back to the apron. Hanging up Heat's arms over the ropes, Sandman backs up and delivers a knee strike to the exposed midsection. Sandman then lays in a right hand to the top of the head. A second. And then a forearm. Sending him off with an irish whip, Sandman goes up to deliver a standing dropkick, connecting right on the BUTT of the jaw. Rolling over, Sandman reaches up and tags out quickly. Faqu takes over and with Heat still down nursing his jaw, the Samoan prepares to drops the big one, dropping towards the stricken Colombian with a Big Splash... ...NOBODY HOME!! Heat rolls out of the way and right to his corner as Faqu eats mat! COLE Thank goodness Heat got out of the way right there. COACH Speak for yourself. COLE I think I'm speaking for the vast majority of the fans in New Jersey actually. COACH Yeah, I hate it when you do that. Heat tries to keep control of the raging Samoan as he traps him in a side headlock. Of course Faqu doesn't stay trapped for long, placing a hand in the back and shoving Heat into the ropes... where an ERRANT KNEE from James Blonde strikes him in the kidneys! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A hard thrust to the throat from Faqu puts Heat down, the cover coming before Chioda can ask too many questions... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Blatant cheapshot from Blonde. There's a trend he's been setting for a while. As complaints rage from Team Heyross and Tha Puerto Rican over the cheapshot from the outside James Blonde now becomes the legal man. JB comes in smiling which does little to calm the moods of his opposition. Picking Heat up, Blonde delivers a snap suplex in the middle of the ring. Blonde follows up with a quick double stomp. The Trendsetter then sits Heat up, trapping his arms in a crucifix and tilting him over into a pinning predicament... 1... 2... Kickout! Heat tries to keep going backwards from his kickout realising that's the direction his partners are waiting in. Nothing doing, as Blonde grabs a sneaker and drags him across the ring. Tag is made by Nathaniel Black, delivering a kneedrop to the chest with impressive elevation off the mat. COLE We heard Nathaniel Black making some pretty bold comments last week, talking about how he'd like to take the US Title from Colombian Heat and rename it the 'British Heavyweight Title'. And I know that caused great offence with Heat. COACH You have to admit, it would raise the levels of class around here a little. COLE So would firing you, but we don't want to seem like we're stealing ideas too directly from other places. Standing over Colombian Heat, Black walks around him arrogantly motioning for him to get back up. PRL does the same, although with a little more good intentions than the Englishman. Ever gutsy, Heat does get up but gets gripped around the back of the head and struck with a knee to face! Back down goes Heat in a heap. Turning to the crowd, Black mockingly asks "Is this the best you Yanks 'ave got!?", earning jeers from the New Jersey crowd, perhaps for mistaking the Colombian for an American or perhaps just for being an ass. Either way, they don't change their minds after Black slaps Heat across the back of the head daring him to get up again. "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Spurred on by the fans, Heat does fight back up. Black is waiting and again cups him behind the head, delivering a head-snapping European uppercut. Away staggers Heat, ending up in hung in the ropes where Black delivers another European uppercut. COACH Nobody delivers those like Nat Black. Grabbing Heat's head, Black throws a headbutt before he sends Heat for the ride. Black then connects with a high knee attack and covers the fallen Heat... 1... 2... PRL IN FOR THE SAVE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" PRL mouths off to Black as he's sent back to the corner, taking a fake swipe at Chioda to make the referee flinch a little. COACH Oh yeah, big man, take a cheap kick at somebody and then threaten a referee. COLE I think PRL's getting a little wound up by watching Colombian Heat on the recieving end of this punishment for so long. COACH Then he should get a tag partner that doesn't suck maybe? Not letting PRL bother him, Black leads Colombian Heat over to his corner, making the tag to Sandman. The Trenton crowd try to get involved again, as Sandman takes over from the Englishman with a snapmare and a dropkick to the back of the head on the seated Heat! Heat writhes holding his neck until Sandman forces him down... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman takes Heat and delivers a headbutt from his knees. The Heartland Champion then pulls the US Champion to his feet, whipping him into a corner and following close behind with a running forearm strike. After another couple of standing forearms, Sandman then elevates Heat up onto the top rope. COLE Could be a Muscle Buster maybe? Sandman pulls the head down and tries to hook Heat up. The US Champion fights it and grips onto the ropes to prevent being lifted up. So Sandman lets Heat go, throwing a punch... BLOCKED! Heat blocks and kicks Sandman in the chest. Another kick lands. Heat then reaches out, hooking Sandman for a Tornado DDT... NO! Sandman hangs onto Heat and places him kicking and squirming right back on the top rope. A hard palm strike upside the head leaves Heat dazed, allowing Sandman to go back after the head. Heat continues to prove elusive though and bounces on the middle rope, allowing himself to flip over and roll down Sandman's back! The Heartland Champion growls and turns around... INTO THE PELE KICK!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE THE PELE! THE PELE~! COACH I hate that move so much. As Sandman falls back in the corner, Colombian Heat finally has an opening to tag, giving hope to his team-mates. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" The crowd want the fresh man in and so does Colombian Heat, crawling down the ropes towards his partners' outstretched hands. Sandman shakes off the kick and goes for his corner as well. Both men reach out for the tag at the same time... Tag to James Blonde. TAG TO THA PUERTO RICAN!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Having darted into the ring, Blonde quickly slams on the brakes as he sees the World Champion darting towards him. PRL comes in swinging and throwing punches. A punch connects. Another. Another. And another. Irish whip by Tha Puerto Rican sends Blonde off the ropes, going up and over with a leapfrog. He goes up again with a reverse leapfrog, then takes The Trendsetter over with an armdrag as he rebounds again! Blonde ends up hitting the ropes as he gets to his feet and looks to use it to his advantage as he charges PR, but Tha Puerto Rican hurls himself through the air with the Gamengiri!! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! Cover by PRL... 1... 2... No! Tha Puerto Rican jumps right back up, taking a shot at Nathaniel Black and Faqu as they stand idly by on the apron. PRL then crouches down and waits for Blonde to get back up, setting him up for the LATIN SLA... NO! Blonde elbows out of the attempted Latin Slam, then gets the tag off to Faqu. COACH Now we're going to have some fun. With PRL retreating into a corner Faqu quickly makes his way over to the opposite corner and comes charging, looking to engulf Tha Puerto Rican with an AVALANCHE... ...MISSED!! PRL gets out of the way and Faqu clatters into the turnbuckles! COACH That wasn't quite as fun as I was hoping for. COLE The pace is really picking up here between these eight OAOAST champions. Tag is made and Charlie Moss is in, bum-rushing The Samoan Wrecking Ball from behind and barging him into a corner. With Faqu pressed against the turnbuckles Moss clubs away with repeated clubbing forearms across the back, then backs up across the ring to deliver a running high knee in the corner! COLE Look at Charlie Moss taking it to the bigman with no fear whatsoever! Faqu staggers out from the corner, schoolyard tripped by Moss and stacked on his shoulders with a pinfall... 1... 2... NO! Climbing to his feet, Faqu walks right into Moss's arms. His attempt at an Overhead Belly To Belly is a little ambitious though. Faqu doesn't budge and delivers a headbutt to fend Moss off. Shuffling to the side a step, Faqu then aims for Moss's head with a Thrust Kick... but Moss sidesteps and swats it away. COLE Great flexibility from the Samoan, but no connection. Quick as a flash, Benjamin jumps in and the World Tag Team Champions combine with the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!!~1! Cover by Moss... 1... 2... Blonde comes in and tackles Benjamin, knocking him on top of the pin to break it up. COLE That was a unique way to break the pin. COACH You might even say it was 'trendsetting'. Blonde puts the boots to Moss before Benjamin gets back involved, Team Heyross getting the upperhand until the one man wrecking ball that is Faqu gets back to his feet. After clubbing both Moss and Benjamin down, Faqu is then directed by his buddy Blonde. Together Faqu and Blonde pull out stereo irish whips on Moss and Benjamin respectively. In stereo they then swing with clotheslines... and MISS with clotheslines. Ducking underneath, Moss and Benjamin put on the brakes and wait for JB and Faqu to turn... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* STEREO SUPERKICKS... but only Blonde goes down! FAQU BLLLLLAAAAAAAAHHHHH... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* A Double Superkick from Team Heyross finally drops Faqu though! COLE Down crashes the Wrecking Ball. As Team Heyross look relieved, they're caught unawares as Nathaniel Black slides in from the blindsight. Lunging forward, he clips Charlie Moss's knee sending him crashing to the mat with a howl of agony! Benjamin quickly jumps on Black and the two brawl out of the ring, while Moss is able to at least roll himself under the bottom rope. COLE Man, Moss looks in a lot of pain. Black went right for that left knee damaged at School's Out at the hands of Thunderkid and Reject. That was no coincidence. COACH Of course it wasn't, dummy! Nat's a smart guy, if there's a weakness he can exploit you better believe he knows about it before a match even starts because he's watches his tapes. Nevermind the fact Moss has got tape under the kneepad as well, painting a bullseye on it. COLE Well we've got plenty of men down here, the pace is starting to take it's toll. Benjamin and Black going at it just across from us. And the happiest people right now are those OAOAST superstars watching, seeing all the champions in highly competitive action and potentially becoming easier targets in the near future. COACH Like Cuban Wall, who's still not moved up there on the stage. COLE And Landon and Alfdogg, with their eyes locked on Tha Puerto Rican as he rolls back inside. As the World Champ brings himself back into the ring, he's met by Faqu getting groggily back to his feet. PRL quickly targets him and hits a running dropkick, sending Faqu falling back through the ropes and out to the floor with a thud! Tha Puerto Rican then turns and stalks James Blonde. But from behind, Sandman9000 suddenly appears and spins PRL around, boot to the gut and hooking the arms for the ARCHANGEL'S WIN... NO! PRL twists out and pulls Sandman forward, into the LATIN SLAM!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE PR connects! Here's the cover! PRL reaches back and hooks the far leg... 1... 2... BLONDE BREAKS IT UP! The Trendsetter kicks away at PRL on his way back up, then drives the point of his elbow into the back of the head. Once PRL fights to his feet, Blonde sends him into a corner with an irish whip. Following in he connects with a clothesline, hooking up the head and bringing Tha Puerto Rican out looking for the follow-up bulldog... but PRL throws Blonde off in mid-air! Blonde lands hard on his tailbone and slowly gets back up nursing it, as PRL backs up against the turnbuckles again. The World Champion then comes charging... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...BUT GETS INTERCEPTED WITH A YAKUZA KICK FROM SANDMAN9000!!!! COACH There's the knockout! COLE What a kick by Sandman, that's surely got to do it! Much to Sandman's surprise though, it's James Blonde who capitalises with the cover before he can do anything... 1... 2... NO!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" As Blonde curses the two count, Sandman is more worried about the stolen pinfall attempt and asks Blonde what the hell's going on. The arguement can't come to anything too heated though, as Colombian Heat slides in and clatters their heads together! COLE DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Heat grabs a hold of Sandman by the hair and dumps him up and over the top rope. Turning around, the US Champ then catches Blonde with a right hand. Heat quickly hits another punch! And another! Heat then does the DANCE~!, before completing the Shake, Rattle and Roll! Down goes The Trendsetter, as Heat bounces off the ropes and does the SHIMMY~!, before hitting the Shaky Leg Kneedrop! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah, Colombian Heat is firing up!! Blonde rolls from the ring as Heat looks out to the crowd and does a SHIMMY~! dance. As he turns around though, his shimmying is brought to an abrupt halt, as he's laid out with the BLACK LARIAT!!! COLE Nathaniel Black from out of nowhere with the Discus Lariat! COACH That oughta pour some cold water on the Heat. Cover by Black... 1... 2... NO! Black stomps back to his feet and pulls Heat up. Attempting a scoop slam, he loses Heat in mid-air and Heat is able to float out the back. Landing safely on his feet, the US Champion grabs a hold of Black looking to deliver the Bong Hit... but Black escapes with the right arm and pins it into a hammerlock, manoeuvering his way out to the front and kicking out the legs to drive Heat down with a Hammerlock DDT! COACH And that's a good way to seperate a shoulder. As Black gets back to his feet though, he doesn't see Quentin Benjamin springboarding into view and soaring into the ring to hit a Top Rope Bulldog!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH MY what a move! Benjamin turns his attentions to Faqu with a baseball slide to keep him out of the way, before motioning Black back to his feet. As the Englishman gets back up, Quentin goes to the gut with a boot and sets up a suplex, picking Black up for the ORANGE CRUS... NO! Black drives his knee down once he's turned upside down, connecting with the top of Benjamin's cranium! Once he hits the mat again, Black then hooks Benjamin's arms up underneath his chest and elevates him with the BRITTANIA BOM... NO! Benjamin counters with a Hurricanrana, arms still crossed!! 1... 2... NO!! ONLY TWO! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I have no idea how Benjamin pulled that out... I've no idea WHAT he actually pulled out, but it so nearly won it for his team! Up to his feet, Black goes for a clothesline but finds himself backdropped up and over the top. Benjamin gets the crowd behind him before hitting the ropes. Black finds himself right by James Blonde, both providing a perfect landing pad for the SOMERSAULT PLANCHA FROM BENJAMIN!!! COACH Look ma, no hands! COLE Did Quentin Benjamin take flight or what?! The Trenton crowd give it up for that, before turning their attentions back to the ring. Sandman9000 has rolled back in and watches Colombian Heat getting to his feet. The US Champ holds his arm as he walks away from the ropes, directly into a boot. Sandman quickly hooks up the arms and delivers the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!1~1!~!1!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Archangel's Wings, Heat got planted! Sandman makes the cover... 1... 2... PRL WITH THE SAVE!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Sandman gets back up into a slugfest with Tha Puerto Rican. Right hands from PR, forearms from 9000, back and forth they go. Meanwhile, into the ring slides Faqu. The Samoan Wrecking Ball lies in wait, as Sandman finally gets the better of the exchange and lands a headbutt, sending PRL reeling backwards. Seeing his chance, Faqu pounds his chest and charges... ...but so does Sandman... ...and PRL ducks, causing a collision between the partners! COACH Oh no, that ain't good. COLE We could have a major falling out on our hands! Bouncing off the mat, Sandman gets back up to be confronted by an angry Samoan reminstrating with him. Not one to back down, The Heartland Champion gets right back in Faqu's face before brushing him aside... just as Quentin Benjamin comes soaring back into the action with a Top Rope Clothesline!! Down goes Sandman, he and Benjamin taking their fight to the floor while PRL punches away at Faqu. Irish whip by PRL is reversed though, into a BIG Samoan Drop from the Samoan, driving the air out of PR and out of the New Jersey crowd! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH YES! That's it, he's got him! Cover him Faqu, you've got the World Champion beat! COLE What an upset this would be! Faqu does crawl over to PRL and turns him over, covering him... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP!!! COACH DAMNIT! Sliding back in, James Blonde directs traffic for his unorthodox partner, telling him to "finish him off". "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" COACH Yeah? We might be about to see the squashing of PRL any second! Faqu brings Tha Puerto Rican back up, but Blonde suddenly has a change of mind and gives Faqu some new instructions. Earnestly listening, the Samoan slams PRL in the centre of the ring and steps aside, as JB sends a shout-out to "LA CUCARACHA", before he springs to the middle rope with his LIONSAULT... ...AND LANDS ON THE KNEES OF PRL!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I doubt Landon appreciated that somehow. Shocked for a second, Faqu snaps to life and runs at PRL... KICK! *WHAM!* CAPPA KILLA!! COLE Stunner! COACH But Faqu is still up! Bolting into the picture, Colombian Heat soon puts pay to that as he lunges at Faqu, delivering a clothesline that sends both himself and The Samoan Wrecking Ball up and over the top rope to the floor! Back in the ring meanwhile, Blonde staggers around holding his stomach. PRL is back up and waits on him, with a boot, before hooking up the head... *WHAM!* ...AND DELIVERING THE PR NIGHTMARE!!!! COLE HE HITS IT! Hook of the leg by PR... 1... 2... Black slides in... 3!!!!! ...BUT TOO LATE!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of QUENTIN BENJAMIN and CHARLIE MOSS, TEAM HEYROSS... COLOMBIAN HEAT... and, THA PUERTO RRRRRIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAANN!!! PRL has little time to celebrate though, as Nathaniel Black jumps him regardless of not being able to make a save! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a minute, the match is over! COACH Yeah, but the fight may just be beginning! *THUD!* Out on the floor, Quentin Benjamin is dumped into the steel steps by Sandman9000, while Black continues to put the boots to PRL. The Englishman reaches down and drags the World Champion to his feet, folding the arm and applying the CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!* Chaos continues to reign, as Sandman9000 suddenly emerges from underneath the ring with a SINGAPORE CANE!! COLE Oh no... The Match Of Champions has decended into The War Of The Champions! In the ring, PRL is still being stretched out, but luckily Colombian Heat is around to help out. He grabs a hold of Black, who in his surprise lets PRL go to turn around and attack, but ends up getting a helping of PIMP JUICE as Heat drives him face first into the canvas! Black is rolled from the ring to join the rest of Cucaracha Internacional, Heat checking on his tag partner's condition. It's at that point that CUBAN WALL starts to march to the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* The bell sounds in vain again, as Sandman9000 starts to trash away with the cane, right across the injured left knee of Charlie Moss!! The cane splinters after the second shot but Sandman keeps wailing away with it, unable to be stopped by referee Chioda. Moss's salvation only comes when Sandman finally tosses the cane aside and makes a move for Chioda. More referees pile out to keep Sandman from doing any more damage, although he's clearly done plenty already by the looks of Charlie Moss. COLE Damnit, Sandman doing more of The Deadly Alliance's dirty work! And I'm sure Reject and Thunderkid are smiling from ear to ear watching this! COACH In other words, you're saying this was a set-up? COLE You're damn right it was! Sandman I'm sure had orders to soften Moss up some more and he's certainly done that... and now, CUBAN WALL in the ring, what in the hell is going on!? As Sandman is escorted to the back, there's no help in the ring to warn Colombian Heat. As he continues to tend to PRL he's grabbed around the shoulder by Wall, spun around and dropped with a right hand! Wall then nonchalantly steps over Heat's body to get to Tha Puerto Rican. Picking his former leader up, Wall goozles the helpless World Champion around the throat, looking his dead in the eyes before taking him up... and DOWN with a CHOKESLAM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit! Cuban Wall is picking the bones on the World Champion! Colombian Heat quickly jumps Wall from behind with forearms, but unlike Heat, Wall is completely fresh and just swats them away. Heat keeps on coming, but gets goozled... and CHOKESLAMMED as well!! COLE Colombian Heat trying to come to the rescue of his friend and he pays the price for it too! "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" The New Jersey crowd chant away but there's little responce from PRL who is barely able to muster the strength to get to his feet. Cuban Wall apparantly isn't done with him yet though, so gives him an assist. Not a helpful one however, as he pulls Tha Puerto Rican up only to send him right back down, courtesy of THE WALLBREAKER!! PRL lays in a heap on the canvas, as Wall then backs off the ropes with a LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH sized exclamation point!! COLE Come on, enough already! COACH Enough!? After what PRL has done to this man, this is just the beginning! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The P - R - L chants are silenced now, as the World Champion lays motionless in the ring and powerless to respond. Stepping over his former Lightning Crew mentor, Cuban Wall climbs out of the ring and over to the timekeeper's table, routing through the mound of eight championship belts to find the one he wants. The World Heavyweight Title, which he snatches and climbs back into the ring with. Wall walks over to where PRL lies and places one foot on his chest, before raising the title belt high over his head "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The Cuban Wall has sent a message, a physical message, to the World Heavyweight Champion! The Match Of Champions may have marked the end of more than one title reign... have marked men been created on this night? From The Coach and Michael Cole, we will see you next week on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Cuban Wall continues to stand tall with PRL's OAOAST Title in his hands and PRL himself motionless underneath his foot, as we... FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
