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George Carlin dead

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I hope you guys don't mind, but I recently remembered a piece from Carlin....it was a cheer anyone could use.

 

"Ratshit, batshit, dirty old twat! 69 assholes tied in a knot! HOORAY! LIZARD SHIT! FUCK!!!!!"

 

Thank you and RIP George Carlin.

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Heaven is a funnier place to be now.

 

Um, yeah. Unless Jesus has a channel that shows Carlin being raped and tortured in the pits of hell and he is amused by it, I don't see Heaven being a much funnier place. Besides, with all of the various wrestling matches of the HWA (Heaven Wrestling Alliance) going on including the culmination of the epic Eddie Guerrero vs. Brian Pillman I doubt Jesus would even have time for such entertainment.

 

I only really knew Carlin from his stint as Mr. Conductor and his short run as a crusty New York cabby on his TV show. I do remember his "religion rants" being quoted on the internet during debates on the matter as if a comedians take on religion was enough to end all debate. Whatever.

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I am ashamed that someone mentioned fucking Dane Cook and Larry the Cable Guy in a thread devoted to George Carlin.

I am ashamed that you thought I was comparing their talents. Carlin is my favorite comedian ever as far as standup goes, and I do not watch the other two. The question I was answering was "Does our generation have any comedians that will generate that type of reaction ("torn to shreds" -Milky) when they die?" LTCG is not a good comedian, but he has a loyal, loyal following that is very large. That was the question, not whether or not any comedians in this generation are on the same level talent-wise or influenced the art as much.

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And shut up about Larry the Cable Guy and Dane Cook or whoever the fuck.

 

Are you fucking stupid, or is crafting retarted paragraphs a hobby?

 

You could do it on your own time.

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Oh no, we're talking about crappy comedians in a thread about George Carlin! What will -DeN- do?

 

Seinfeld, Rock and Eddie are the comedians of this generation that will probably be mourned the most upon their passing.

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"Didn't the first guy who wore a sombrero realize it was completely impractical when eating pussy?"

 

Eating pussy is giving head to girls, in case you didn't know barron.

 

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For those with HBO, they are going to air 11 of his specials in order on HBO2 Wednesday and Thursday night.

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"Didn't the first guy who wore a sombrero realize it was completely impractical when eating pussy?"

 

Eating pussy is giving head to girls, in case you didn't know barron.

 

Now I get the joke! Thanks DeN! You rock!

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NBC will be re-airing the first ever SNL Saturday Night in honor of Carlin.

 

NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE' REMEMBERS GEORGE CARLIN THIS WEEKEND

Published: June 24, 2008

 

'SNL' Honors Legendary Comedian George Carlin, Re-Airing Its 1975 Premiere Episode with Carlin as Host

 

NEW YORK – June 24, 2008 – As hilarious and heartfelt tributes pour in marking the passing of groundbreaking comedian George Carlin, "Saturday Night Live" pays tribute on Saturday, June 28 (11:30 p.m.-1:00 a.m. ET), re-airing its premiere episode that featured Carlin as host.

 

Remembering Carlin, "Saturday Night Live" creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels noted: "You never forget the people who were there at the beginning. George Carlin helped give 'Saturday Night Live' its start as our first host. He was gracious, fearless, and most important of all, funny."

 

Typifying the show's "of-the-moment" sensibility that would continue throughout its over thirty-year history, Carlin was brought in as the first host of the groundbreaking comedy show. Carlin performed three individual monologues on the program that also introduced audiences to the now legendary "Not Ready For Prime-Time Players" – Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris, Larraine Newman and Gilda Radner.

 

The 1975 episode also features musical guests Janis Ian and Billy Preston as well as a landmark performance from comedian Andy Kaufman.

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NBC will be re-airing the first ever SNL Saturday Night in honor of Carlin.

 

NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE' REMEMBERS GEORGE CARLIN THIS WEEKEND

Published: June 24, 2008

 

'SNL' Honors Legendary Comedian George Carlin, Re-Airing Its 1975 Premiere Episode with Carlin as Host

 

NEW YORK – June 24, 2008 – As hilarious and heartfelt tributes pour in marking the passing of groundbreaking comedian George Carlin, "Saturday Night Live" pays tribute on Saturday, June 28 (11:30 p.m.-1:00 a.m. ET), re-airing its premiere episode that featured Carlin as host.

 

Remembering Carlin, "Saturday Night Live" creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels noted: "You never forget the people who were there at the beginning. George Carlin helped give 'Saturday Night Live' its start as our first host. He was gracious, fearless, and most important of all, funny."

 

Typifying the show's "of-the-moment" sensibility that would continue throughout its over thirty-year history, Carlin was brought in as the first host of the groundbreaking comedy show. Carlin performed three individual monologues on the program that also introduced audiences to the now legendary "Not Ready For Prime-Time Players" – Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris, Larraine Newman and Gilda Radner.

 

The 1975 episode also features musical guests Janis Ian and Billy Preston as well as a landmark performance from comedian Andy Kaufman.

 

Yes!

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Heads up, HBO2 is playing a marathon of Carlin's comedy stuff, starting in forty minutes. It's all his earlier specials from the 70s and early 80s, so those of you who only know him as Angry Old George might want to give it a look.

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Of your infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Use on Television,” we hear a couple even on the networks now: piss and tits. Is it time to shorten the list?

 

You can say pissed off, but you can’t say pissed on, because that’s about the actual act of urination. It’s OK for a guy to say, “Why are you pissed off at me?” But the other guy can’t say, “Because you pissed on me.” So crap, screw, cunt, cocksucker, and motherfucker are still off-limits. Fart, turd, and twat were added to the list later, though you do hear fart. You don’t hear twat very often. Twat is one of those words that doesn’t have another meaning to it. You can say, “We’re gonna snatch that and put him in a box,” but you can’t say twat…

 

Your new book is called Napalm and Silly Putty. Please explain.

It’s just an indicator of the two sides of my nature. I have a confrontational, aggressive side; then there’s the innocent, childlike side that sometimes people forget. I like making people squirm. I like to find out where their line is drawn and then deliberately cross it and, if possible, pull them across with me.

 

What trends have you been fed up with lately?

People who wear visors. And guys who wear phone headsets, these cyberdorks walking around like schizophrenic air-traffic controllers talking to themselves.

 

It’s getting harder to tell who’s crazy and who’s not.

If he’s got a nice leather jacket on, you figure he’s not homeless. What else? Singers with one name. Guys named Todd. I think that’s a goofy fucking name. All these boy names that have come along—Taylor, Tyler, Tucker, Carlson, Cassidy, Cody, Flynn—they’re not real names. A real name is Jim.

 

You joined the Air Force when you were 17, which is hard to believe. How did that happen?

I quit school after ninth grade, and at that time the draft was in place. To prevent being drafted, you enlisted and you got your military obligation out of the way. I went into the Air Force because, rather than sit in a foxhole and have people dropping bombs on you, better to go drop things on other people and come back and take a shower. But I want people to know that for the three years and one month I was in the Air Force, Russia did not screw with us. So I did help keep the peace.

 

You were raised Irish Catholic, yet you’re almost happily antireligious.

There is more evidence of the existence of UFOs than the existence of God, yet if you mention that you believe in UFOs, you’re considered a kook. Whereas if you believe in this man in the sky, you’re going down the right path…

 

Has the human race done anything recently that you approve of?

The agreed-upon self-destruction of our kind is spectacular to watch. This species could have been so great, and now everybody just wants a new SaladShooter or sneakers with lights in them. This is what we’ve settled for. So the things that excite me are the failed nations, these places that can’t be governed anymore because there’s no political or physical infrastructure. I love that. If the seeds of destruction are in it, then I’m really happy about that. This species is circling the drain, and we should be encouraging the circles to become faster and smaller.

 

You revel in pissing people off. Who has surprised you by laughing?

I did a big attack on golf, but it was more an attack on the upper class’ arrogance in commanding 200 acres for a game that involves a ball one and a quarter inches across. The problem isn’t the game itself—it’s the jerk-offs you have to associate with to play it. I don’t bother with those guys on any basis, much less stand around outdoors with them for three hours. But I’ll occasionally get these guys wearing the golf shirts—“Hey, I love your stuff, George.” I say, “Yeah, how about the golf thing?” People are willing to exempt themselves sometimes: “Well, he’s not talking about us, honey.”

 

You’re a longtime proponent of making sports more violent. What do you make of the XFL?

I thought they were gonna do it for me, but then I realized that the rules they changed to make it more violent don’t actually come up very often. I have suggestions for changing rules in all sports to make them more interesting. Such as, in basketball, 50 points for any shot that goes in the basket after bouncing off an opponent’s head. And in auto racing, a bonus of $50 million for any driver who completes an entire race going in the wrong direction.

 

When you hosted the very first Saturday Night Live, did you think it would still be around today?

Nobody knew. I was sort of the middleman, the liaison between these brash young improv players and this studio crew who didn’t buy into that. But I don’t remember much about that week because I was loaded on cocaine the whole time. A book said that they had to break down my door to get me out of my hotel room. Those are the kinds of details you forget.

 

Surprisingly, for someone as, um, mellow as you, you’ve had three heart attacks. Do you have sympathy for Vice President Dick Cheney?

Not really. You know what he looks like? When he’s answering questions, he looks like he’s smelling a big pile of human waste.

 

How would you like to depart this rotten world?

I’d just like to explode in someone’s living room. Or it would be nice to be thrown out of a helicopter. But my stipulation would be that wherever I land, you have to leave me there. Even if it’s the mayor’s lawn.

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Of your infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Use on Television,” we hear a couple even on the networks now: piss and tits. Is it time to shorten the list?

 

You can say pissed off, but you can’t say pissed on, because that’s about the actual act of urination. It’s OK for a guy to say, “Why are you pissed off at me?” But the other guy can’t say, “Because you pissed on me.” So crap, screw, cunt, cocksucker, and motherfucker are still off-limits. Fart, turd, and twat were added to the list later, though you do hear fart. You don’t hear twat very often. Twat is one of those words that doesn’t have another meaning to it. You can say, “We’re gonna snatch that and put him in a box,” but you can’t say twat…

 

Your new book is called Napalm and Silly Putty. Please explain.

It’s just an indicator of the two sides of my nature. I have a confrontational, aggressive side; then there’s the innocent, childlike side that sometimes people forget. I like making people squirm. I like to find out where their line is drawn and then deliberately cross it and, if possible, pull them across with me.

 

What trends have you been fed up with lately?

People who wear visors. And guys who wear phone headsets, these cyberdorks walking around like schizophrenic air-traffic controllers talking to themselves.

 

It’s getting harder to tell who’s crazy and who’s not.

If he’s got a nice leather jacket on, you figure he’s not homeless. What else? Singers with one name. Guys named Todd. I think that’s a goofy fucking name. All these boy names that have come along—Taylor, Tyler, Tucker, Carlson, Cassidy, Cody, Flynn—they’re not real names. A real name is Jim.

 

You joined the Air Force when you were 17, which is hard to believe. How did that happen?

I quit school after ninth grade, and at that time the draft was in place. To prevent being drafted, you enlisted and you got your military obligation out of the way. I went into the Air Force because, rather than sit in a foxhole and have people dropping bombs on you, better to go drop things on other people and come back and take a shower. But I want people to know that for the three years and one month I was in the Air Force, Russia did not screw with us. So I did help keep the peace.

 

You were raised Irish Catholic, yet you’re almost happily antireligious.

There is more evidence of the existence of UFOs than the existence of God, yet if you mention that you believe in UFOs, you’re considered a kook. Whereas if you believe in this man in the sky, you’re going down the right path…

 

Has the human race done anything recently that you approve of?

The agreed-upon self-destruction of our kind is spectacular to watch. This species could have been so great, and now everybody just wants a new SaladShooter or sneakers with lights in them. This is what we’ve settled for. So the things that excite me are the failed nations, these places that can’t be governed anymore because there’s no political or physical infrastructure. I love that. If the seeds of destruction are in it, then I’m really happy about that. This species is circling the drain, and we should be encouraging the circles to become faster and smaller.

 

You revel in pissing people off. Who has surprised you by laughing?

I did a big attack on golf, but it was more an attack on the upper class’ arrogance in commanding 200 acres for a game that involves a ball one and a quarter inches across. The problem isn’t the game itself—it’s the jerk-offs you have to associate with to play it. I don’t bother with those guys on any basis, much less stand around outdoors with them for three hours. But I’ll occasionally get these guys wearing the golf shirts—“Hey, I love your stuff, George.” I say, “Yeah, how about the golf thing?” People are willing to exempt themselves sometimes: “Well, he’s not talking about us, honey.”

 

You’re a longtime proponent of making sports more violent. What do you make of the XFL?

I thought they were gonna do it for me, but then I realized that the rules they changed to make it more violent don’t actually come up very often. I have suggestions for changing rules in all sports to make them more interesting. Such as, in basketball, 50 points for any shot that goes in the basket after bouncing off an opponent’s head. And in auto racing, a bonus of $50 million for any driver who completes an entire race going in the wrong direction.

 

When you hosted the very first Saturday Night Live, did you think it would still be around today?

Nobody knew. I was sort of the middleman, the liaison between these brash young improv players and this studio crew who didn’t buy into that. But I don’t remember much about that week because I was loaded on cocaine the whole time. A book said that they had to break down my door to get me out of my hotel room. Those are the kinds of details you forget.

 

Surprisingly, for someone as, um, mellow as you, you’ve had three heart attacks. Do you have sympathy for Vice President Dick Cheney?

Not really. You know what he looks like? When he’s answering questions, he looks like he’s smelling a big pile of human waste.

 

How would you like to depart this rotten world?

I’d just like to explode in someone’s living room. Or it would be nice to be thrown out of a helicopter. But my stipulation would be that wherever I land, you have to leave me there. Even if it’s the mayor’s lawn.

 

If only it was deemed acceptable to have that as my entire signature.

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Seinfeld, Rock and Eddie are the comedians of this generation that will probably be mourned the most upon their passing.

 

Add Chappelle and there's probably one more... not much of a mainstream success but a "Comedian's comedian".

 

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