Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD We open the show with Terry Taylor sitting behind the desk that's normally occupied by Anglesault. Gone are all of AS' traditional Yankees and OAOAST themed decorations, instead the desk is spartan. Terry's words are stilted and he's obviously reading from a prompter with lines that were prepared for him. TERRY TAYLOR Good evening, OAOAST fans. I sit behind this desk in an unlivable position. I am forced to make an announcement few in the highest ranks of this company were willing to make. Though I am only one person sitting behind a desk, my words are that of the most important decision makers in the OAOAST. I have been in this businesses for longer than I care to say, and I have seen many things that would repulse even the bravest most grizzled veteran of these ring wars. But, without exaggeration, I have never in my life seen anything as revolting and shamming as the “Too Catch a Predator” skit featuring Anglesault from last week's HeldDOWN. Words can't describe the feelings we all felt as that horrible, horrible, event played out on screen. It felt like doom was upon us all! I could see the walls closing in and the sky tumbling onto our heads. It was the first time I've ever had a tangible fear for the OAOAST's future. Taylor pauses for a moment to sip from a water bottle. TAYLOR The share holders were, of course, outraged. As Anglesault was chased down the streets of White Marsh, the stock holders were chased into sell mode, and unloaded their OAOAST stock at record rates. The brass was embarrassed, and the media has been salivating for any tasty morsel of juicy OAOAST gossip on any OAOAST superstar. My voice mail has been stuffed full, finally for reasons besides Krista passing my number out as a transexual phone sex outline! I know that we don't have the cleanest show or the most well behaved roster, but since the OAOAST came to life we've always had top quality leadership we could believe in. Anglesault betrayed that trust that was a gift from the fans and the sports entertainers who make this show so great. The board of directors has decided the company, the workers, and the fans deserve a better class of leader. Effective immediately Anglesault has been removed from his duties as OAOAST President and his employment with the company has been terminated. Taylor gives a very solemn nod to the camera as we fade out. EARLIER TODAY Backstage in the arena we see lovebirds Leon Rodez and Maggie Nerdly sat together on a metal production equipment case somewhere behind the entrance stage. Things still seem tense between the two as anyone who's been following the show would assume. But at least they're within a couple of feet of each other and talking. Leon's hand rests on top of Maggie's, who looks pretty forelorn. MAGGIE It's just getting too much. I mean, everybody's talking and being the topic of gossip around here isn't exactly fun for somebody who's gotta go round interviewing people all the time. Guys round here ain't got much in the way of manners. You should have heard the things Reject said to me last week. LEON I did and I'm sorry you have to put up with it. But you've just got to try and not let it affect you babe. It's something we're going to have to sort out between us. Forget everybody else. Nobody else really knows anything, it's just gossip. MAGGIE I know. LEON Anyone who speaks out of turn'll have me to answer to. Or Tyler and Shayne if I'm busy, either's good. The two share a brief smile, just as ZACK MALIBU walks into shot grabbing their attention. ZACK Hey Maggie. Leon. Can I have a quick word? LEON Uh, now's not really a good time. ZACK It's kind of important. Sighing, Leon motions to Maggie to give him a second before standing up and leading Zack out of earshot by the arm. LEON Listen, don't take this the wrong way Zack, but... now really isn't a good time. Can this not wait? ZACK Right. Sure. When you're done with your relationship issues, come find me. LEON There's no need to get like that... ZACK I'm sorry. It's just, I've kind of got some problems of my own to worry about right now. Like wrestling five people tonight. Somehow Maddix has got me booked in a Gauntlet Match against him and his followers later, which is all I need. Who knows what's going on right now for that to have come to fruition. Anyway, I could do with speaking to you before then at least. If Maddix has his way I won't be around to say much afterwards. Leon takes a quick look back at Maggie. LEON Look, I've gotta go do my show soon. Once I'm done with that, I'll come find you. ZACK Thanks. Zack pats Leon on the shoulder before heading off. Leon shakes his head as he strolls back over apologetically to Maggie, sitting back down next to her as we roll V.T... As Ultimate Victory plays, we find that even the introductory video has been altered with all references to Anglesault being deleted. I don't get why you'd bother when the whole company is named after him! After the video concludes we go to the logo... And then sofa central where Michael Cole looks noticeable tense and uneasy, whereas Da Coach is all smiles and laughes. COLE Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the prologue to a new era in the OAOAST! On behalf of everyone in the OAOAST, I want to apologize for what you saw last week before the mainevent. But that very occurrence cost Anglesault his job, and for right now leaves us without solid leadership. And we have Mister Theodore Moneymaker to thank. COACH Damn right we gotta thank Mister M! Homeboy went in, no homo! Anglesault a slimey sneaky little cross dressing bitch that rocks tight pants and pray to George Michael crotch! Anglesault just doesn't know! Moneymaker said he had dirt on Krista, he proved it. Why didn't Anglesault learn from that? Dude tried to be hardbody and he got hardbodied, no homo. COLE The hours leading up to the show have been chaotic to say the least. But we've scrambled together another fine event for you the fans as we march towards the historic Great Angle Bash! OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# ^ !!!!! We go to the ring to find the ring canvas covered with the decor of The Love Shack set. That consists of a desk, two stools, a purple carpet and a Grand Rapids street sign. Arguable whether you can call that a 'set', more arguable still if you can class it as 'decor', but that's what there is. Stood behind his talk show desk is Leon Rodez, waving in acknowledgment at each shout and female scream catches his attention while he waits for some quiet. Adorning his chest is the new Leon Rodez t-shirt, coming soon OAOAST.com, just in time for The Great Angle Bash maybe! LEON Hey hey hey and welcome to, almost, the only show in town, the show too smooth to be cancelled, The Love Shack! And when you think love and shack, you've gotta be thinking Des Moines, Iowa! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" LEON Even I'm not sure if that was meant to be a derogatory comment or not, but thank you for the cheers anyway. Well, I was expecting a quiet night tonight, but after the surprise cancellation of Reel Talk last week, I've had to complete a few contractual obligations and take their guests for tonight. I shall place them in my imaginary trophy case, beside the plaudits I recieved over them and the viewers who chose this show over their's. House Of Worship, we comin' for ya! In the meantime though, The Great Angle Bash is three days away and so to is War Games. Team Sly Sommers versus Team James Cone. We already know Sly has snapped up Zack Malibu and Bohemoth for his squadron. And Cone has my guests tonight signed and sealed. Give it up if you're so inclined, for CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL... with a 'C'! "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Megalomaniac" hits to a torrent of boos, aimed towards Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix as he leads his group to the ring. The Six Man Tag Team Champions James Blonde, Faqu and Nathaniel Black recieve Landon's glowing attention, Todd Cortez recieves just a cold glare. COLE The men who sided with James "Pheonix" Cone for this Sunday's War Games Match, but have publicly stated they've got no interest either way in the dispute with Cone and Sommers. They're simply in it for themselves. COACH Nothing wrong with that. COLE Well these men will be stepping into the unforgiving confines of two steel surrounded rings, whatever their reasons. By the end of The Bash, they may end up regretting it. COACH No no, you've got it all wrong... four of these men are stepping in. Cortez ain't doin' shit except fetch coffee pre-match. The ranks of Cucaracha Internacional climb into the ring with little acknowledgement for the Shack's resident host. With only two stools, Landon takes a seat with Megan right next to him. Black, Blonde, Faqu and Cortez all prefer to stand. Just as well really, since they don't have much choice otherwise. LEON So, customary welcome to the Love Shack... MADDIX Yeah yeah, I know how it works. Not my first time. LEON True. I hope you kept that copy of High School Musical 2 from last time. The extras are top-notch. I doubt anyone at all remembers what we're talking about, so let's gloss over it. War Games is why you're here, set up as a challenge from Sly Sommers to James Cone. Now knowing your grasp of OAOAST history, I doubt you'd be able to pick either one of them out of a line-up. So, my first question. Why would you get involved in War Games when you've realy got no stake in it? MADDIX Simple. Opportunity. Exposure. The chance to take Cucaracha Internacional to the top. Black and Blonde nod in agreement behind Landon. MADDIX You see, it doesn't matter about the risks. Doesn't matter to us who's on the other side of the ring. James Cone's dispute with Sommers... doesn't matter to us. All that matters is victory and exposure. War Games is going to be all about Cucaracha Internacional. The rest of 2008 is going to be all about Cucaracha Internacional. We are the premiere collection of talent in the OAOAST and it's about time we started showing it, on the big stage, in the big matches. After we dominate in War Games, we will be the group everybody's talking about, as we deserve to be. It's as simple as that. LEON Okay, I can respect that. But, there's another opinion floating around. MADDIX What 'other opinion'? LEON Well, last time you were in War Games... infact, the only time you were in War Games... you tapped out. "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Eyes bugging a little at that being brought up, Landon scowls at Leon. LEON And opinion seems to be that maybe you're risking the health and careers of your team-mates in the most dangerous environment in professional wrestling, just so you can get some redemption for yourself. MADDIX That's... that's ridiculous! I mean... you... First of all, you need to change who's opinions you listen to because they're clearly a group of daydreamers and conspiracy theorists. Trying to make a story where there is none. You know what... yeah, it does still bother me, what happened in War Games last time. It still holds a place in my memory. Maybe because I lost. Maybe because I tapped out. Or, maybe because I HAD A SPIKE JAMMED INTO MY TESTICLES!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Megan winces a little, rubbing Landon's shoulder consolingly as he looks down at the mat. For a few moments he continues looking down, with only the cheering crowd heard. MADDIX I'm okay. I'm okay. (turns back to Leon) Now, somebody like you is probably into that kinda kinky stuff. But not me! I gave up before I lost one of my... guys. There's no shame in that. No shame at all. Any man would have done what I did! Anyone who says otherwise is a liar! As far as this theory about me wanting 'redemption' goes? That's way off the mark. Do you really think I'd put Faqu, James Blonde and Nathaniel Black in War Games just so I could make people forget about me being stabbed in the penis on syndicated television? Do I look selfish enough to do that? LEON That's a rhetorical question, right? MADDIX I've said it once, I'm gonna say it again. I'm not above repeating myself because more often than not what I say warrants being heard twice. War Games is going to be all about Cucaracha Internacional. Not just Landon Maddix. But about Nathaniel Black. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX About James Blonde. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX About Faqu... FAQU BLAAAHHAHAAAA!! At the sound of his name, Faqu sparks to life and starts beating his chest. Landon subtely motions for Blonde to "calm him down" so he can keep talking. MADDIX It's going to be about us. Zack Malibu is going to find that out. Bohemoth is going to find that out. Sly Sommers is going to find that out. Whoever joins up with Zack Malibu and Bohemoth and Sly Sommers, they're going to find that out. One or the other, they will submit to us. Who knows, somebody might get hurt inside War Games as you keep alluding Leon. But it won't be one of us. It'll be Bohemoth, or it'll be Sommers, or it might even be your buddy Zack. Think of the statement that would make to the OAOAST, for Cucaracha Internacional, huh? You know, if I remember correctly... Landon stands up from his seat, causing Leon to defensively do the same. MADDIX ...last time, it was YOU who got hurt in War Games. Landon smiles in the face of Leon, while in the background Todd Cortez can be seen with hands on hips and looking clearly offended that Landon would bring that up. MADDIX Two things, Leon. Number one, if you want to preach about the dangers of War Games, how about you go tell your buddies. And number two... if you're thinking about having your buddy's back again like you did last time, best think again. Because even though I've benched Todd Cortez onto the sub's bench where he belongs, if you step into War Games, don't think I won't have your neck broken again! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on, that's completely uncalled for! Apparantly, Todd Cortez agrees and he steps forward to confront Landon about just what he's saying. He gets there before Leon can do anything about it himself, the host watching Cortez and Landon argue off mic for a few seconds as the crowd urge him to jump in. Landon has other ideas though and manages to shrug Cortez off. MADDIX You know what, thanks for having on the show, it's been a pleasure, come on guys. Dropping his microphone on Leon's desk, Landon hurries out of the ring with Blonde, Faqu and Black close behind. Cortez is left behind in the ring and looks towards Leon apologetically, unseen by Leon who watches Cucaracha Internacional leaving. Under pressure from Landon, Cortez follows after the rest of his 'team-mates' still looking frustrated at what happened. COLE Landon showing a distinct lack of respect for Leon Rodez. An unneccessary reminder of the neck injury that sidelined Leon for so long in 2006 and 2007. I don't think Cortez appreciated it being brought up either. COACH Oh yeah, because he showed a ton of remorse at the time! COLE Well, Cucaracha Internacional will look to ruffle more feathers ahead of War Games later on, as Zack Malibu runs the Gauntlet. We'll be back with more HeldDOWN~! next. LATER TONIGHT INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT ZACK MALIBU RUNS THE GAUNTLET TONIGHT COMING UP NEXT THE GUNSLINGER IS BACK BARON WINDELLS RETURNS TO THE RING NEXT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (edited) The gorgeous, and I do mean gorgeous Iowa State Capital building is on display for all to marvel it. Built in in 1886, it sports a 275 ft tall dome of that is gilded in tissue-paper thin sheets of pure 23-karat gold. Playing in the background is Under The Influence of Giant's Mamas Room, which is 24 karats of awesome! Getting backstage after his eventful Love Shack, Leon Rodez still looks to have a lot on his mind as he walks the halls. As he rounds the corner, he looks around, presumably for Zack Malibu's locker room. Before he can get to where he's heading though, he's accosted. MELODY LEON! HEY, OVER HERE! The last thing he needs right now, Leon forces a smile as Melody Nerdly waves him over from across the hallway where she stands with her brothers The Christ Air Express and big Baron Windels. LEON Hey guys. Have you seen Zack around? MELODY Yeah, we saw him earlier and he was wearing a retro Iron Maiden t-shirt! What a p0ser, spelt 'p zero oser'. Like he's ever listened to Iron Maiden in his life. Phff! I hate people like that. Like, David Beckham. What the hell, you married a Spice Girl, you have no right to advertise old rock bands on your rippling torso! Like, would you own that rockin' Journey t-shirt if you didn't love them? LEON Probably not, but tha... MELODY #Just a small town girl... livin' in a looooonely world... she took a midnight train goin' an - yyy - wheeerrreee# Unable to resist such a rocking song, Leon signs along with the last bit under his breath with a warm smile on his face before snapping back to life. LEON Yeah, look, I need to find him, shirt or no shirt. That came out wrong. But, still. MARV Maybe you should try his locker room? LEON Yeah... thanks... you know I should have to come to you straight away man. MARV Don't mention it. MELODY Are you okay Le', you look kinda down. LEON Ah, it's just Maddix, getting under my skin. He brought up the 'neck thing', that's all. I'm fine really. Smiling sympathetically, Melody rubs at Leon's arm. MELODY I know how you feel. We've all had things happen to us in our life that we'd rather forget... like the time I went on that date with Kobe Bryant. Melody looks off into the distance. LEON Oh great, she's having another one of her obscure internal fantasies. Listen, guys, when she comes around with some weird nonsequiter line, tell her I'll talk to her afte... MELODY Two hours and all he talked about was basketball. Nice guy though. Perfect gentlemen. Anyway, we're gonna go read the message boards to see if they've announced any more of the roster for the OAOAST videogame yet. I mean, I know I had creative input in the project and they took my suggestion to name it No Homo for some reason, but until IGN say I'm in these fingernails are gonna stay chewed down to stubs, cause we both know I don't CAW well. Plus I started a poll on like eight different boards, who would you rather see released, MARV or MEL? Gonna see how that's going. You wanna come with? LEON Maybe later. Melody thinks for a second. MELODY We were thinking about having a NHL '08 tournament afterwards as well. That interest ya? Apparantly it does, as Leon has to think about it. Hard. LEON Well I'm sticking around until the show's over at least. But, keep the Red Wings aside, just incase. Before any further talk can distract him Leon rushes off to try and find Zack again. Melody, The CAE and Baron go back to their conversation meanwhile, with Melody looking pretty happy all of a sudden. We return to the arena which is bathed in a soft yet vibrant mixture of orange, pink and red lights, almost as if the show were occurring in a dream world. COLE Josh Matthews is standing backstage with some information regarding the search for a new president for the OAOAST. Josh, these are crazy, hectic times, do you mind giving us some information. Who is exactly part of this search? We go backstage to Josh Matthews standing in front of a door marked “OAOAST BOD” in bright gold letters. JOSH Michael, the search has actually been going on since last Friday, its just the official announcement of AS' firing came today. The entire board of directors is engaged in the process of finding a suitable replacement for Anglesault. But, they've also recruited help from members of the competition committee such as Terry Taylor, Jesse Ventura and Mean Gene Okerlund. I think the most interesting person on this search party has to be Theodore Moneymaker. COLE Moneymaker?! You can't be serious. JOSH I'm very serious, Michael. The board feels that Anglesault's downfall was created by his draconian style of management that never thought to consult the top stars on the roster, including the most powerful man in the company. Moneymaker is also the third largest investor in the network, and has control over whether this show continues to air or not. Its very important that Anglesault's replacement is someone he approves of. COACH J.Math, how many applicants have they got? JOSH At least a thousand. Now, naturally, they won't hire Mariachi so he can hijack the cameras to film his porno debut “Screamin4Semen” but there are some serious candidates to be looked at. Not the least of which is your former broadcast partner Caboose. COACH Oh hell no! JOSH I've even heard rumblings that Some Guy may be the Right Guy...heehhhe...for the job. There's even the possibility that Dan Black may be brought into an interim general manager role with Jesse Ventura overseeing him as director of wrestling operations. But, its to early to say. I do know that Theodore Moneymaker has his own candidate for presidency in mind. COLE Do they know when a new president will be announced? JOSH The general consensus is that this has dragged out one week too many. The board already thinks of the OAOAST as the inmates running the asylum, and they need someone to at least stop them from burning the place down! I think we could see a new president by the Great Angle Bash. COLE What type of qualities are they looking for? JOSH Strong and flexiable leadership. Someone that can maximize the talents of everyone on the roster, and handle the egos many of our performers have. Terry Taylor joked “Someone who doesn't use craiglist to solicit crackwhores!” I guess that rules you and I out, Coach! COLE Josh, thanks, and keep us updated. JOSH No problem, Michael. COLE Coach, can you believe that Moneymaker actually has a role in picking a new president? COACH Hell yeah, Anglesault sweat syrup. He a phagget ass nigga. His tears is clear kool aid..he a lifeless virgin wit the swag of slug slime, Moneymaker gotta save these clowns from picking another 'Sault. They shoulda listened to him in the first place! COLE Well, folks, we'll be back with more, including the in ring return of Baron Windells! COMMERCIAL Edited June 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (zack, download this song right now!) accompany us on a trip through Des Moine's gateway park which boasts that modernist sculpture seen above. Up in the ring waiting for his cue is the man who steals money on a weekly basis, ring announcer Michael Buffer. Next to him a short, stocky individual in wrestling tights. BUFFER The following contest, one fall, 10 minute time limit. Introducing first, already in the ring, hailing from Mobile, Alabama, a man who stands no chance in our next match…DENNIS HUCKLEBERRY! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Referee Nick Patrick does all he can to keep an irate Dennis Huckleberry from going after Buffer for his candid comment. As he does so, “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits and out comes Baron Windels to a thunderous ovation. BUFFER And his opponent, making his return to the ring, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The consummate baby face, Baron is all smiles and full of high-fives, but awaiting him ringside…MALAYSIA NERDLY. COLE Where did she come here?! More importantly, what is she doing out here? No words are spoken as the two come face to face. Hands in the air Baron attempts to go around the OAOAST Women’s Champion, who REFUSES to let him pass. BARON Now you listen here, missy. You got until the count of 3 to get on your way or else. Arms folded, whip in hand, Malaysia shakes her head NO. COACH If Baron values his personal welfare then he won’t dare lay a hand on Malaysia. Despite her defiance Baron still gives Malaysia till the count of 3 to move. When she doesn’t the shit’s on. But WAIT. Coming up the rear, MR. DICK. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Baron spots him in time and ducks a roundhouse, and then opens fire on his former tag partner! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Jock and Baron not bothering to wait until Sunday night. We’re getting a taste of the Great Angle Bash live tonight. Soundly handling The Dick, Baron’s LASHED across the back by Malaysia’s CAT O’NINE TAILS! BARON MALAYSIA Amazingly, the OAOAST Women’s Champ backs down. NO, it’s only a ploy to distract Baron long enough for MR. DICK TO SWOOP IN AND DELIVER A BULLDOG ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COACH You were right, Mikey. This is a taste of what’s to come at the Great Angle Bash. OAOAST officials swarm ringside. Meanwhile, enjoying himself inside is Dennis Huckleberry, glad to have been spared the ass-kicking he was sure to receive. Jock notices this and, as the Huckster plays to the crowd, sneaks up and drives Huckleberry into the mat with PURE PENETRATION! COLE Jock Mulligan being a dick as usual. And fans, while Baron receives aid, standing by right now our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan. COACH With some VIPs I hear. We cut to our lavish backstage interview position, once described by Patty IIRC, and will explain again, think of it like an ultra modern sports bar, outfitted with a variety of games such as pool and air hockey, and putting greens and who's walls are lined with videoscreens that show various sporting events from around the country, and who's walls are decorated with various OAOAST paraphernalia. We get it like that, b. where TB is joined by his cousin THEODORE MONEYMAKER and the rest of THE ENTERPRISE. MONEYMAKER BRANNIGAN Theodore Moneymaker, what are you laughing at? Tell me you didn’t find any humor in what just took place? MONEYMAKER I’m simply amused by the mere coincidence those who have spoken out against my Enterprise have all found themselves down and out. BRANNIGAN Knowing you it’s probably more than coincidental. CPA MONEYMAKER Easy, big guy. He’s family. Confused as he is. But I suggest you watch it, cousin. I’ve already gotten rid of one relic around here and I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again. Brannigan and Moneymaker look each other dead in the eye. Tensions high. A true professional, Tony carries on with the interview. BRANNIGAN Let’s talk about that other relic. I’ve heard of Crash TV, but what we saw last week can only be described as… SIMON SINGLETON (smiling proud) Compelling television. BRANNIGAN …TRASH TV! SIMON BRANNIGAN Of all the low things I’ve seen in my time that was by far the lowest I’ve seen anyone stoop. CHRISTIAN WRIGHT As far as we’re concerned, Mr. Brannigan, Anglesault had it coming. Rather than go through the proper chain of command prior to cancelling Reel Talk, he went around the Board of Directors and acted unilaterally. What comes around goes around, a lesson Anglesault learned the hard way. NED BLANCHARD Besides, we took a sex offender off the streets! BRANNIGAN And another stands before me. NED My feelings. They hurt. SIMON Why should anyone feel sorry for him in the first place? He tried to out run the cops. Think about that for a second. Out run the cops. They're driving Hummers, Chargers, motorcycles, and he's hitting the pavement in busted out Air Max 95's. CPA Man, even OJ had the good sense to get him a Ford Bronco. SIMON Reel talk, Chris! He deserves to be fired just for that appalling lack of common sense. Grab a kids power wheels or something. MOLLY Pow-pow-power wheels! King of the road! TONY Apparently, Teddy, you've weaseled you're way into the selection process for a new boss... MACKENZIE DECENZO Weaseling? Please. He was happy just to finally expose Anglesault for the sickening creature we always knew him to be, and fade quietly into the background. The company practically dropped down to their knees and pleaded with him to save him from their incompetence. MONEYMAKER The woman speaks the truth! That's why she's my model employee. MOLLY That's terribly surprising! You've tried to fire her no less than four times. MACKENZIE MONEYMAKER Shush, intern! Cousin, if you're angling for a scoop on who will be the next president, don't waste your time on words that aren't coming anytime soon. Though the introduction of a new president will come at Great Angle Bash, no decision has yet been made. I, however, have my chosen candidate, who I feel is best equipped to correct the course of the OAOAST ship and steer it into the great beyond. This will be a person I will be proud to call boss, and even prouder to call friend. And I will not let the board of director's repeat the error they made with Anglesault. TONY Is there anything else you'd like to add? MONEYMAKER For those who held Anglesault on a pedestal, take heed. Mess with the Enterprise and we'll return in kind, with interest! And please allow me to offer thanks to the many who have seen the just in my cause, and have blessed me with their unwavering support, your loyalty will be rewarded in due time. Moving on to other things, a couple guys making noise right now are MARV and MEL, Molly's lunkheaded elder brother's the Christ Air Express, who dared challenged my Enterprise through their sister’s MySpace page. The Enterprise all laugh, minus CPA because he’s a cool motherfucker. SIMON That’s an epic fail. Even I feel embarrassed for them. MONEYMAKER I first thought maybe one of their loser fans hacked her page, but no, those knuckleheads did indeed co-write a review of this month's High Times magazine and link to numerous legalize marijuana web sites. Well if it’s a fight they want, it’s a fight they’re going to get. NED You heard it hear first, Mean-- err, “Tough” Tony. Can I call you “Tough” Tony? Ah, hell son, I’m gonna call you “Tough” Tony anyway. (clears throat) Sunday at the Great Angle Bash, “Tough Tony”, the stoners will be stoned! BRANNIGAN So it’ll be the CAE vs. Beverly Hills Blonds at the Great Angle Bash? MONEYMAKER Possibly. BRANNIGAN What do you mean possibly? CHRISTIAN WRIGHT I remind you, the challenge was issued to ANY combination of the Enterprise. Therefore it could very well be the Beverly Hills Blonds who represent us, or perhaps myself and Theodore. NED BLANCHARD Hell son, who knows? It might even be CPA and Mackie. BRANNIGAN M-Mackenzie and CPA?! You’ve got to be pulling my leg, Blanchard. Is that a real possibility, Mackenzie? MACKENZIE Tony, honey, as we’ve said all along, there’s no combination the Christ Air Express can beat. We’re smarter, sexier, and richer. In short, we’re better than them. SIMON Now that I think about it, I kinda hope Ned and I are the ones chosen for the match. It’d allow us to release our pent up frustrations after the hottest talk show in all the land was canned a couple weeks ago. * sniff * sniff * Ned and Mackie console Simon. It was his creation after all. MONEYMAKER Just like Obama keeps running from Senator McCain's request to go across the country debating the issues, Anglesault thought he could do the same here and we saw where that led him…straight out of a job! The next GM ought to keep that in mind. But I know we’ll be greeted as liberators no matter who’s selected. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Fade to… COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (edited) We journey up the Des Moines river from which this very city draws its name. It was originally named La Rivière des Moines, literally meaning "River of the Monks. Its the largest river in the state of Iowa and flows up to southern Minnesota. What a dismal fucking sight. Anyway, the big beats, far out synthesizer and spunky soul inspired voices of are in stark contrast to this ugly picture. And, hey, zack download that song also. Tony Tourettes sits on a leather easy chair in a strangely quiet section of the locker room, that's lit dimly by a small table lamp that rests near his chair. With huge glasses covering his face, he pours over War and Peace. Hey, he's got tourettes, he's not stupid! Unfortunately his time for reading is interrupted by Vinny Valentine and Rico De Janiero bursting through the door. Rico continues to commit crimes against fashion in pink umbros that are mostly covered by a neon green fanny pack, yellow flip flops, and a bright orange tank top. Valentine looks a slight bit better in white pants with a cobra running down the right leg, and a matching blazer that features a glittering heart emblazoned across the back. VINNY Vinny V, makin moves, makin plans, makin moo-lah-lah-lah! Yeah, baby! The next time TV land gets a glimpse of this handsome face Saint Valentine's gonna be standing over the bodies of Krista, and Square*LUX. I can see it now, headlines across the country “LONG LIVE THE KING (OF DISCO): Vinny Valentine and company, over throw world fitness famous queen.” What do you think you get for beating down someone in the Walk Of Fame, Rico? I betcha its good for hosting one of those talent shows on ABC. “So you think you can disco?” I love it! TONY Vinny...WOULD YOU PLEASE SHOVE A DOG'S DICK IN YOUR MOUTH...good to see you! VINNY Hahahaha, Tony T, my man, my main man, my only man, my non homo but still my man, man! What it is what it will be and what it aint, little cousin. Heyyyy, buddy, you got your 15 minutes on The Look Of Love show with Krista on the way back. TONY Yes I...RUBBED ONE OUT TO HIDDEN CAMERA FOOTAGE OF KRISTA AND MINDY NERDLY IN THE SHOWER...was on that show. VINNY If I could get copies of that footage...that would be nice. RICO Eh...uh...me to. Hey, mang, you ain't no carpet muncher. How you get on that show? TONY It was just...I BURIED MY FACE IN THE PRODUCER'S HAIRY AND SWEATY ASS CRACK AND LOVED EVERY STANK MINUTE OF IT...my winning personality I suppose. Why do you ask about the show, anyway? RICO 'Cause, you know, we need some dirt on Krista. VINNY Yeah, and we don't mean made up bunk you can dig out of US Weekly or People from “friend of a friend of a waiter who served Krista at Sky Bar”, we mean the real god damn deal from someone who was actually around her. Dish us some dirt. TONY Like what kind of dirt? RICO The kind of dirt you can bury someone six feet under the ground with, mang. VINNY (smiling) Yeah, that kind of dirt. That good-good-good kind of dirt. What's her number one pet peeve? How can we get under her skin? TONY Her pet peeve? I guess that might be....FLAT ASSED RED HEADS WHO'S CARPET DOESN'T MATCH THE DRAPES....people who lie and deceive her and people who don't use their turn signals. RICO (muttering) Those assholes should be shot dead, man. Run em off the road, stick a shotgun in their temple...BANG BANG BANG, see how Jesus like a man that comes right into Rico's lane uninvited. VINNY People who lie and deceive her? Tony, daddy, Love Connection got canceled a long time ago, cut the eharmony junk and give us the goods! The goods, baby, the goods! Yeah! RICO That's right, mang, there's gotta be something we can target. 'Cause when you're locked into a fight, and the situation is life and death, man, you gotta do one thing and that's go right to the heart. Drive that steak into that bitch's heart, and yank it right out. Rico makes a motion of ripping a heart out which causes Vinny to fearfully recoil. VINNY Tony, my main man, there's has be an ankle injury, torn knee cartilage, leaking breast implants. What's her weakness? TONY Her weakness? Let me think for a second. I guess it might be... LUCY LAWLESS LYING BARE ASS NAKED ON SATIN SHEETS WITH A CUP OF LOW FAT DANNON YOGRUT SQUEEZED BETWEEN HER TITS...I don't think she has one. VINNY Gimmie somethin better than that! You spent weeks with that chickadee! Anything we can use to distract her? TONY Not that I can think of. Perhaps you could try looping Demi Moore...AND HER GIGANTIC TITIES...strip scene from Striptease on the video screen for the whole match. VINNY Heyyyyyy, smmoth idea, Einstein! Rico can't believe what he's hearing and lowers his head in frustrated exhaustion. RICO There ain't no point to this! What's wrong with this guy, eh? This fuckin guy...this fuckin guy...his parents gotta be related. Nothin but inbreeding makes you this stupid. VINNY He's got a disease, take a chill pill, brother man! Rico, baby, we were always gonna take Krista and square*LUX downtown to chinatown. That's destiny, baby! Any info Tony set us up with was just gravy. We're still gonna do this right. Naturally. Its destiny, baby! You ever see Charlie Brown where Lucy holds the football and pulls it away right when Charlie's about to kick it. That's what Krista's been doing to the entire OAOAST for four years! And we're the cats who are gonna start changing things. We're gonna be heroes to the whole damn company! We're gonna do what Chuck should have done. Forget the football, we're gonna plant that boot right in Lucy's mellon! Rico perks up somewhat and gives Vinny a well deserved dap. The two walk out, foolishly over confident on their prospects for victory. VINNY Thanks for nothing, Tony! COLE (O.S.) Folks, we're gonna take it over to Josh Matthews for an update on the president situation. Josh? The view moves to Josh, again standing outside the board of directors room. JOSH Well, things were getting a little heated for a minute in there. COLE What do you mean? JOSH Tony Brannigan attempted to force his way into the search committee. He walked right by, said he was going to add his two cents, and just went in the door. From what he told me, Terry Taylor, Gene Okerlund and Jesse Ventura were receptive to his presence, but it was Theodore Moneymaker who fought hardest to have him barred from the meeting. And, Moneymaker won out in the end, and Brannigan was escorted from the room by security. COLE Wow. How close are they to selecting a president. JOSH Moneymaker is still fighting for his candidate pretty strongly, but there was actually talk about making Zack Malibu, a leader in the locker room, interim president to allow for a longer more detailed search. That was shot down, not surprisingly, by Moneymaker. I can also tell you that Axel is out of the running, the board feels he's to much of a divisive personality to help mend the shattered locker room. COLE Josh, thanks again. Keep us posted. COMMERCIAL Edited June 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by! Partly cloudy, partly clothed...an event full of spills and thrills that’ll leave you in chills! The orchestral strains of "Rebirthing" by Skillet grind out over the arena as we return to HeldDOWN~! COLE Here we go, the first in-ring appearance for some time from James Cone. And he's got a BIG preview of what's to come at War Games on his plate. The strings break into crunching guitars as the song hits full swing and the stage EXPLODES in sparks and a continuously billowing flame right at the center. Phoenix emerges and loosens up a little before marching to the ring to the unfamiliar sound of jeers. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first... from Columbia, South Carolina. He weighs in at two hundred and thirty five pounds... ladies and gentlemen, this is JJJAAAAMMMEEESSSS... "LUNAR PHOENIX"... CCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Phoenix looks almost offended at the reaction, shaking his head sadly at the fact he's being percieved as the 'bad guy' all of a sudden. At the ring area, he pauses and surveys before heading up the steps. Phoenix enters the ring and throws his arms up confidently despite the lack of support from the crowd in Des Moines, before heading to his corner and limbering up. COLE Cone has been out of action for the past few weeks through injury. The last time we saw him, he was doing THIS to Sly Sommers and turning the popular opinion of the OAOAST against him, all over Sly Sommers' unbiased opinion of him created a change man... Sly comes to, sitting up while in a daze. The referee comes to help Sly up...but Phoenix asks him to leave. The crowd goes quiet...and Phoenix offers Sly his hand. Sommers looks around, then grabs it as Phoenix helps him up. The audience stands up and applauds as they raise each other's arms! COACH This is awesome! You always want to see this after a hard-fought battle! What a show of respect! Phoenix shakes Sly's hand, then opens the ropes for him. Sly waves Phoenix off, then opens the ropes for him! Phoenix smiles and bows to Sly graciously. Phoenix goes through the ropes, but when he gets on the apron, he opens the ropes for Sly. Sly shakes his head like, "You silly kid," then walks onto the apron. Phoenix raises Sly's hand again on the apron... COLE As these two incredible athletes bond after a great bout, we're going to go to... ...PHOENIX JUST SUPERKICKED SLY OFF OF THE APRON! COACH What the hell just happened? Phoenix drops down to the floor, then goes down on all fours and crawls up to Sly's unconcious body. He whispers in Sly's ear... PHOENIX Who is the star now? Who's the main eventer now? WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE PASSION NOW? Phoenix spits in Sly's face, as a swarm of referees rush to aid Sly. The commentators have gone silent, as Phoenix crawls away backwards. His eyes never leave the mess of humanity that he left at ringside, as he gets to his feet and slowly walks backwards to the locker room. The commentators stay silent, as the final shot before commercial is a close-up of Sly's unconcious face... Watching the replay of that on the big screen, Cone remains emotionless... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...until "Liberate" by Disturbed powers through the arena and suddenly he has something to worry about. Powering out from the back, Bohemoth fires up on the stage and flexes his meterosexual muscles before marching on to the ring. BUFFER And, his opponent hails from Greenville, South Carolina! Weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Bohemoth, now an official member of Team Sly Sommers this Sunday night. A huge addition to have inside of War Games, but as it stands Sly still only has two partners out of four, where-as Phoenix has the ranks of Cucaracha Internacional on his side! COACH The only partners Sly could find to put their faith in him and they're sworn enemies. What does that say? Bohemoth powers up the ring steps and into the ring, locking eyes with Phoenix before he scales the turnbuckles for some more muscle pumping. COLE First time ever meeting here tonight on HeldDOWN~! A big match with big War Games implications. And as far as Bohemoth and Zack Malibu go Coach, they looked on the same page last week when fending off two of Phoenix's partners this Sunday, James Blonde and Faqu. COACH Yeah but those egos are only gonna stay in check for so long. Proven fact. *BELL RINGS* Bohemoth points at Phoenix and signals that he will break him in half with his bare hands. Phoenix looks around himself in shock...then bails out of the ring! Bohemoth tries escaping the ring, but the referee blocks his exit as Phoenix giggles at how he's gotten out of his beating temporarily. Bohemoth backs off from the referee, seemingly to allow the ref to count...but then climbs out of the ring on the opposite side, then runs around the ring to chase Phoenix! The chase goes all away around the ring until they get back to where Phoenix started, as he slides back into the ring. Bohemoth tries the same thing...but gets met with stomps as soon as he gets his upper torso underneath the bottom rope! Phoenix delivers a barrage of shots to Bohemoth's body, trying to capitalize on the big man being down...but Bohemoth seemingly is feeling no pain from these shots. Phoenix is delivering blow after blow, but Bohemoth is getting to his feet like nothing is happening. Phoenix doesn't notice this, even as the big man gets to his feet. Phoenix starts delivering some hook punches to the stomach before looking up at Bo's face...then being scared back with a big FLEX! COLE Big Bo is not one to be messed with! Phoenix gathers himself, then comes off of the ropes behind him, charges at Bo, and leaps for a flying bodypress...but gets caught by the monster! The crowd cheers as Bohemoth backs into a corner, then hits such a big bodyslam that he tosses Phoenix from one end of the ring to the other! Phoenix bounces off of the mat, comes to his feet, and backs up into the corner behind him, clutching his back. Bohemoth charges across the ring and hits a big avalanche! Bo immediately Irish whips Phoenix to the other corner, then charges across and hits a second avalanche! Bo pulls Phoenix out of the corner with a front facelock, into mid-ring, and lifts Phoenix for a vertical suplex...and he holds him up in the air! COACH Bohemoth has SUCH scary strength! If he doesn't want to let you down, he won't! After about ten seconds, the crowd starts to count along with the length of time Phoenix is being held up in the suplex... ELEVEN! TWELVE! THIRTEEN! FOURTEEN! FIFTEEN! SIXTEEN! SEVENTEEN! EIGHTEEN! NINTEEN! TWENTY! TWENTY-ONE! TWENTY-TWO! TWENTY-THREE! TWENTY-FOUR! TWENTY-FIVE! TWENTY-SIX! TWENTY-SEVEN! TWENTY-EIGHT! TWENTY-NINE! THIRTY! ...and Bohemoth brings Phoenix crashing down to the canvas to the crowd's cheers! However, before Bo can go for the cover, Phoenix rolls out of the ring! The fans catcall Phoenix, who is still holding his back, as Bohemoth reaches over the top rope, trying to grab Phoenix. He gets Phoenix by the neck and pulls him up onto the apron...but Phoenix escapes Bohemoth's clutches by reaching up and raking Bohemoth in the eyes! Bo backs up, holding his eyes, as Phoenix comes back into the ring, comes off of the ropes, and hits a chop-block to Bohemoth's left knee, sending the big man crumbling down! Phoenix puts his foot behind the back of Bohemoth's knee, grabs the ankle, and leaps backwards, trying to yank the knee out of socket! COLE Phoenix knew he couldn't fight a stand-up battle with such a huge man, but everyone's the same size on their back without legs! Phoenix grabs Bohemoth's leg as Bo screams in pain, then yanks on the leg, trying to yank the leg out of socket! Phoenix keeps ahold of the ankle and applies a standing kneebar. Bo escapes by putting his other foot in front of Phoenix's face and pushing him off! Phoenix gets back up, as Bohemoth limps his way back up to his feet. Bohemoth connects with two punches in a row...but Phoenix goes right back to the knee, sending Bohemoth down with a low dropkick. Phoenix gets up and stomps repeatedly on Bo's leg. Phoenix yanks Bo over to the ropes by his leg, then places the leg on the bottom rope. Phoenix climbs onto the middle rope and come crashing down on the knee, which is bridged up in the air! Phoenix climbs back up to the middle rope, the leg still draped on the bottom rope...and he crashes down onto the leg again! Phoenix drags Bohemoth back to mid-ring by the leg and goes for the Figure Four Leglock...but after he twists around the leg, Bohemoth uses his other leg to push Phoenix off of him, sending Phoenix face-first into the top turnbuckle! The momentum of the collision causes Phoenix to stumble backwards, right into a schoolboy... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men come up, with Bo showing obvious pain in his left leg... but he powers Phoenix up for a slam...and his leg gives out, causing him to fall back with Phoenix on top... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Phoenix gets up and starts stomping Bohemoth, who is so powerful that, at one point, he's able to grab Phoenix's foot in mid-stomp and shove him backwards by it. While Phoenix rolls back up to his feet, Bo gets up to one knee. Phoenix sees this and sends him right back down with a low dropkick to the face. With Bohemoth on his stomach, Phoenix wraps his calf around Bohemoth's, then falls backwards, once again hyperextending the knee. Phoenix looks around at the crowd, who boo him for downing one of their heroes. So, he pulls Bohemoth up with a front facelock and hits his patented Snap DDT! COVER! ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! The crowd cheers, as Phoenix freaks out! He quickly pulls Bohemoth back up for another DDT...but the crowd's cheers give Bohemoth a surge, causing him to send Phoenix back into a corner with a big charge! Phoenix crumbles into a seated position in the corner, as Bo falls back, holding his knee in pain. Bo tries to kneel up to his feet, but Phoenix gets up first. He pulls Bo up to his feet and goes for an Irish whip...but Bo won't budge! He tries again...and again, Bo won't move. The crowd's beginning to notice that the demeanor on Bohemoth's face is starting to change from pain to rage, as Phoenix again struggles to Irish whip the big man. Phoenix looks up...and Bohemoth growls at him as the crowd roars! Phoenix is scared to death, as he drops to his knees, begging off the big man. Bohemoth looks around, as the crowd begs him not to trust the crafty Phoenix. Bohemoth then grabs Phoenix by the hair and punches him right in the face! COLE The big man might be wounded, but the heart of a shark lives within him...and he sees red! Bohemoth is still limping, but he pulls Phoenix up and whips him off to the ropes. Phoenix comes off of the ropes and runs right into the MURDERLINE! Bohemoth goes down with Phoenix, still holding his knee. Both men get up at the same time, Phoenix throws a punch, but Bohemoth blocks and responds with one of his own that sends Phoenix down! Phoenix bounces back up...and gets another punch right to the face! He goes down, bounces back up, and gets whipped off to the ropes...running right into the big Front Spinebuster! Bohemoth bounces up to his feet, the adrenaline of the crowd's cheers driving him! He signals that the end is near, as he pulls Phoenix up to his feet... COACH This is looking like it's going to be short and sweet... Bohemoth pulls Phoenix up and lifts him for the kill...he swings Phoenix around...but Phoenix lands on his feet in front of Bo, stomps him in the knee to knock him down, then bails out of the ring! COLE What is going on?!?! Phoenix then visibly asks the referee to start counting, because he isn't coming back! The ref's count starts.. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEEEEN! *DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by countout...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEMOOOOOOTH! Bo's sitting in mid-ring, clutching his knee, as Phoenix is up by the entrance, pointing at his head to show how smart he thinks he is. However, his back is turned to the entrance, which proves to be a huge mistake.. COLE Look behind you, Phoenix! It's Sly! Sly taps Phoenix on the shoulder, but Phoenix brushes him off. Sly does it again...same thing. Sly grabs his shoulder...and Phoenix realizes something is up. He feels behind him, gets a panicked look on his face...then turns around and screams! Sly cocks his fist back and blasts Phoenix in the face with a closed right fist! Phoenix flies backwards, as his hated foe stalks after him! Phoenix paces backwards, then realizes that if he goes back into the ring, Bohemoth is waiting for him! He looks back and forth...back and forth....and then jumps into the crowd and runs! Sly soon chases after before both men get lost from the cameras in the darkness... COLE James Cone can run tonight, but there will be nowhere to run from Bohemoth or Sly Sommers Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash! Right now, let's take it back to Josh Matthews for another update. Josh? Josh is...well you know where he is by now! JOSH Guys, I can safely say Dan Black is out of the running to be the new president. Originally they had discussed him being in an interim role. But Theodore Moneymaker as well as Macho Man wondered if he sunk IntenseZone why wouldn't he do the same to HeldDOWN. Drek Stone's name was brought up and quickly shot down. No one thinks a man who rarely defended his title would command any respect from the locker room. Another candidate was former HeldDOWN general manager and Holly-Wood's younger brother, Northstar. However, given that he's hated by Zack Malibu, the face of the company, and Alix, the second most popular female next to Krista, its doubtful he gets the role. I'll continue to keep you posted though! COMMERCIAL LATER TONIGHT INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT ZACK MALIBU RUNS THE GAUNTLET TONIGHT Edited June 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (edited) We return to HeldDOWN with mixture of authoritative salsa beats and airy female vocals serenading us as the camera pans across the sold out arena, which is cloaked by a powerful yet calming sheets of purple, blue and dark green. In the stands we see the young woman known as Sophia Grey, seated next to two large heavily tattooed African American men. It seems as though they've been talking notes on the proceedings, and as we watch them, they compare their reports. COLE Sophia Grey? COACH And with some straight up thugs! Those ain't good Irish boys now! COLE It looks like they're scouting, but I can't imagine why, there's been no hiring activities with no president to approve them. Well, folks, Maggie... COACH heheheh that ho gettin played! COLE Maggie Nerdly is backstage with Biff Atlas. Maggie? The scene is the backstage interview position, which I described earlier, where Maggie Nerdly, clad in a black polo and ruffled black skirt, stands casually with Biff Atlas. Outfitted in khaki pants and a plain green t-shirt, Biff looks casual but is anything but as he holds pool cues in front of him as weapons of defense! MAGGIE What's up ya'll? Maggie Nerdly, everyone's favorite Nerdly girl, standing by the side of one Biff Atlas! Biff in just a few days time you'll team up with Vinny Valentine, Rico De Janiero, and Lucius Soul to battle D*LUX and Hollywood Walk of fame member, and most famous person in the OAOAST, Krista Isadora Duncan. You don't seem very excited, though. BIFF And why should I be? Do you think the losers of the French revolution were cranking the soulja boy when they were being lugged through the streets to the guillotine? No! They were crying, and weeping, and begging for their life! I am a prisoner. A prisoner of the corrupt broken OAOAST authority system that will hopefully be changed when we get a new president. I actually have to be across the ring from D*LUX. Can you imagine? D*LUX! Do you know what they did? I invested the trust for my safety and well being into two armed security guards paid for by Mister Moneymaker to protect me from those two. And what happened? I got shot nine times in the chest by them. MAGGIE You trippin! You didn't get shot, you just got superkicked. BIFF It felt like getting shot! Yes it did! Yes it did! These psychos. These ridiculous psychos and their crazy obsession with Krista. I have quite the fanatical appreciation for the comedian Gallagher... MAGGIE Awww snap, is that the guy who smashes the watermelons? BIFF That's the guy that brings laughter and joy to the hearts of millions, Margaret. But if you wanted to disparage him I wouldn't go nuts and attempt to maim you for life like D*LUX does to anyone who goes after Krista. They are out of control! I've never seen anything like it. They should be locked up far, far, far away from us civilized right thinking folks. Monsters. That's what they are! Monsters both of them! What's worse is that Krista and I live in the same city. I can't go into West Hollywood to workout at the gym, because there's an army of militant lesbians waiting to hang me off the lightposts by my testicles! Its a big city, but she's famous, everyone in LA loves a celebrity! And she's a celebrity and that means everyone hates me. I'm not a bad guy, Maggie, I'm not. But I wasn't on VH1, I'm not on the cover of Glamour, I'm not on David Letterman, my dad isn't a congressman I don't sit courtside at Lakers games with Tyra Banks. I don't even sit courtside at Clippers games! I can't even afford tickets! Even my own parents like Krista better than me. I don't think they liked me much to begin with. They recently put me up for adoption and I'm thirty one years old! MAGGIE I know all abouts backstabbing fam, boy. And I got a certain somebody that needs to be put out the Nerdly fam, yesterday. Don't mean to distract you, man, just go on... BIFF And when is the last time she even lost a match? I am not the man to break the winning streak. I am not! FDR said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, well he had the greatest army in the world backing him up. I don't have anything but an OSHAA approved powerbomb! But I have to go through with the fight. I have to. MAGGIE Why do ya think that? BIFF Even in defeat I gotta teach Krista a lesson. And that lesson is about her celebrity status. When you're a celebrity you have a duty to the world to discuss the issues that matter. Instead Krista wants to blah blah blah about bullhooey like rain forests, global warming, endangered species, melting ice caps. Things only a dunderhead would talk about! MAGGIE Ay yo man, didn't you... BIFF Things only a dunder head would talk about! As a celebrity she has to speak on important issues. She has to use her connections... Jumbo looks up from his air hockey game with Denzel Spencer. JUMBO To get me on the Suite Life of Zack and Cody? BIFF Um....use her connections to talk about the issues like- JUMBO Why won't Zack and Cody won't return my fanmail? BIFF (grabbing Jumbo's air hockey paddle and throwing it across the room) Go away! As I was saying, my partners intend on regaining some respect and diginity and I intend to to wake Krista up to hard truths. When you're famous you don't use your fame to put down the little guy, you use it to help better the life of the world's people! You hear me? Better the life of the world's people! MAGGIE Damn, man, you soundin' a bit more confident now. BIFF I am aren't I? And, even better, I'm confident that me and my guys are going to leave the Great Angle Bash with a W! MAGGIE Oh crap! BIFF What? MAGGIE I forgot to tell everyone, and you to. Alix... BIFF Alex Rothberger my consultant with Charles Schwab? MAGGIE A-l-i-x. Alix Maria Spezia... BIFF (worried) Huh? MAGGIE Is gonna be... BIFF (more worried) The lead role in the new Wonder Woman movie? MAGGIE At Krista's side... BIFF At the GLAAD image awards? MAGGIE At the Great Angle Bash! BIFF MAGGIE Oh damn! Biff, man, are you alright? Obviously not, and we fade to commercial as no one rushes to Biff's aid. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT ZACK MALIBU RUNS THE GAUNTLET NEXT Edited June 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (edited) We fade in on Tha Puerto Rican doing the HBK muscle pose with pyro going off behind him. Cuban Wall stands next to him. This is all in black and white. Somber music plays. NARRATOR They were once good friends. Cut to Cuban Wall chokeslamming some poor scrub. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican doing The People's Elbow Drop onto that same scrub. Cut to OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone: [Cuban] Wall shows off his newly won OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. PRL shows off his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt. Both men laugh evilly, and then PRL jumps onto Cuban Wall's shoulders. PRL raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head with an evil smile on his face while Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt in the air at the same time. Garbage is thrown in their direction. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican walking to the ring with The Lightning Crew, Cuban Wall right next to him. THA PUERTO RICAN Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall are unstoppable! Cut to Cuban Wall clotheslining the back of Tha Puerto Rican's neck on the November 30, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Cuban Wall then giving Tha Puerto Rican The Lightning Crew Splash on the same show. This is shown in color. NARRATOR But one act has made them bitter enemies. COLE The Lightning Crew has turned on Tha Puerto Rican! THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS BETRAYED THA PUERTO RICAN! HIGH OCTANE FAST PACED ROCK MUSIC~! plays as we see a collection of clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action IN COLOR~! NARRATOR Now, it is the war to avenge the score! Cut to Cuban Wall posing in a broken down warehouse. The words "CUBAN WALL" appear in big white blocky letters. NARRATOR Cuban Wall... Cut to a collection of Cuban Wall clips showing him destroying opponents. CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You throwing some kind of idle threats!? I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican posing in a broken down warehouse with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The words "THA PUERTO RICAN" appear in big white blocky letters. NARRATOR ...vs. Tha Puerto Rican... Cut to a collection of PRL clips showing him beating opponents. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) You, my 'friend', are going to fail! Cut to Cuban Wall attacking Tha Puerto Rican after the Match Of Champions on the June 5, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Cuban Wall attacking Tha Puerto Rican backstage on the June 12, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall brawling with each other on the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. NARRATOR ...in a No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) I've got you right where I want you! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) JUST BRING IT! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall celebrating after a victory. NARRATOR Good friends, Cut to Cuban Wall hitting Tha Puerto Rican with a ::Beltshot:: on the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. NARRATOR Bitter enemies. Cut to more clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action against various opponents. The HIGH OCTANE FAST PACED ROCK MUSIC~! continues playing. CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You ain't even in my league! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) It's put up or shut up time! Cut to a black screen with information regarding the OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 pay-per-view. NARRATOR OAOAST The Great Angle Bash! Sunday June 29th at 8:00 PM EST/5:00 PM PST, LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! Call your local cable or satelite operator to order NOW! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You are going to get BROKEN! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I'm gonna make you BLEED! The HIGH OCTANE FAST PACED ROCK MUSIC~! ends. As does the commercial. COLE Well with the presidency issue still up in the air, we have one more big match, just been officially added to the card for the Great Angle Bash by... well, goodness knows who. But somebody found the time it seems. It's being called the Land Of Opportunity Battle Royal and will feature 14 of the non US patriots on the OAOAST roster in an over the top rope battle royal. And the winner will then advance to face the United States Champion Colombian Heat immediately afterwards, with the title on the line. COACH Just goes to show how different things are gonna be around here without He Who Shall Not Be Named and his pro-USA agendas. COLE It'll certainly be a night of opportunity for one competitor, with a chance at the US Title. Right now though, it's Gauntlet time, let's go up to the ring. ZACK MALIBU VS. CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL-GAUNTLET MATCH (entrances omitted so that I could get this posted as it leads to the GAB. Sorry!) Matched up against the most brutal weapon in La Cucaracha's arsenal, Zack walks forward, standing nose to nose with his Samoan rival...and then drills him with a headbutt, catching the beast with his guard down! COLE That's one way to kick this off! Faqu covers his face, but Zack grabs ahold of him and pulls him close, then rocks him with a kneelift before hitting the ropes! As he rebounds, Faqu takes a swing at him, but Zack ducks under it, then comes off the far side and stuns Faqu with a clothesline. The Wrecking Ball is rocked, but doesn't topple over, even as Zack unloads with hard chops. He takes Faqu and sends him in, but the whip is reversed, only for Zack to deliver a hard kick to Faqu when he drops his head! Zack then takes him by the head and peppers him with forearm shots, drawing blood from the nose of his foe! Faqu shoves Zack away, but Malibu rolls with it and pops back up to his feet...but as he charges in he gets dumped on the canvas with a release uranage by Faqu, who is none too happy at the sight of his own blood staining his hands! COLE Zack started off in a fury, hoping to catch Faqu off guard, but it's only seemed to make the monster madder! Zack stands up, and when he does Faqu hits a blistering roundhouse kick to the ribs, then sets Zack up for a suplex...but Zack slips out and spins Faqu around...only to catch a knee to the gut! Faqu then hits the suplex he was trying for moments ago, and then follows up by pulling Zack up to a seated position and then cracking him across the back with a kick, the sound of his foot smacking Zack on the back echoing through the arena! He pulls Zack up and snapmares him over, and again follows up with a hard kick to the back, laying Zack out. The big man then starts running, hitting the ropes...but as he comes back to attempt more damage to the Preppy One, Zack kips up and floors him with a lariat that drops him down to the mat! COACH YO~! COLE Hard, high-impact shot out of nowhere from Zack! He sprung right off the mat and nailed that madman with a brutal blow! Zack circles the ring, working the crowd as Faqu tries to shake off the effects of the blow. He gets up, but Zack is right on top of things, peppering him with a pair of right hands before bringing him in close. Zack tries to trap him in a butterfly lock, but the intense islander struggles, and elevates Zack over with a backdrop. Malibu lands with a thud, and as soon as he comes up he's barrelled over with a running shoulderblock from the mammoth Faqu! Faqu growls, calling Zack to his feet, but the former World Champion doesn't come up as quickly as he did with that kip-up earlier. As Zack comes up, he's rocked with a chop that knocks him right back down, and almost as soon as he hits canvas, he's dragged up and sent to the corner. Faqu charges in, but Zack kicks both of his legs up and drives his feet across Faqu's cheekbone, driving him back! He then comes and takes Faqu by the head and rams it into the top turnbuckle not once, not twice, not even three times...but a succession of five head rams STILL isn't enough to topple the beast! Zack then takes him by the head and sits up on the ropes, signaling for a tornado DDT...but as he lands, Faqu hits a Northern Lights suplex, putting Zack on the wrong end of a pinning predicament! ONE! T-KICKOUT! There's no bridging out of this one, as the girth of the Samoan is too much for Zack to handle. Faqu gets to his feet and brings Zack up, then dumps him back on the canvas with a fireman's carry. He then stands up and presses his foot down on Zack's throat, causing Zack to kick his legs as he tries to stop the blocking of air! Faqu then comes off the ropes and drops a big leg across the throat, and again goes for the cover! ONE! TW-NO! Zack again finds himself led to his feet, and soon after he's thrown into the corner and struck with a flurry of hard chops which are then capped off by a throat thrust! Zack would be back on the mat if it weren't for the turnbuckles holding him up, but they're actually leaving him prone to the assault, as Faqu charges across the ring and sandwhiches Zack against the turnbuckles! Before he can collapse, Faqu picks Zack up and sets him up on the top rope, then climbs up the ropes himself, rocking the ring as he brings his enemy down from the top with a superplex! COLE Faqu continuing to bring the pain, leaving Zack hurting after that devesating superplex! Faqu gets up, then drops a headbutt on Zack, making sure he stays put as he runs the ropes and comes off with a big splash, flattening Zack under the weight of his huge frame! Once again, Faqu goes for a pin, hooking the leg of the prep and sneering at the referee! ONE! TWO! NO! KICKOUT! Faqu gets up and delivers a primal scream as he takes his foot and stomps Zack hard in the chest, then hits the ropes again and hits a second splash, flattening Zack like a pancake! He pulls Zack up and readies him for a powerbomb...but when Zack his hoisted up onto his shoulders he starts hammering him with right hands, knocking Faqu senseless! Zack gets dropped to his feet, and unloads with a discus clothesline...but Faqu ducks it! As Zack turns back around, Faqu lifts him off his feet and runs him to the corner, slamming him against the turnbuckles! Zack falls to a seated position, and Faqu measures him up, snarling with glee that Malibu is about to be destroyed. He charges in, looking to crush Zack's head against the turnbuckle...but at the last second, Zack moves! COACH He got outta there in the nick of time, Mikey Cole, otherwise his head would've exploded like Gallagher's watermelon! Faqu slams into the turnbuckles, drawing a loud pop from the crowd, who are trying to motivate their hero. Zack comes up to his feet and hits an enzugiri kick to the back of Faqu's head, dropping him to one knee, and then quickly heads out to the apron, springboarding back in with a bulldog on the savage Samoan! ONE! TWO! NO! Faqu is rattled, and Zack looks to keep things that way by planting a kneedrop in his temple, then mounting his shoulders and elbowing the hell out of him! Faqu, whose blood was already spilt earlier with that headbutt, has his nose shifted from left to right as Malibu drives the points of his elbows across his face, only to be thrown off. Zack gets up and charges, but finds himself regretting it as Faqu scoops him up across his shoulders and then falls back, crushing Zack with a brutal Samoan drop! COLE Samoan drop by Faqu, and Zack is down again! COACH You know Michael, in Samoa, they just call that a drop. Zack curls up into a ball, having just had his ribs turned into dust. Faqu gets up and glares at the crowd as he reaches down and drags Zack by the arm to a more open spot in the ring. With Zack laid out, Faqu goes over to the ropes and starts to climb, drawing the interest of everyone in attendance since high-risk is not usually his style! The crowd shows their support, encouraging Zack with a loud chant of his name as he stands up...and as soon as Faqu rises, Zack targets him, running across the ring and driving a knee to the side of his head, nailing him with the ZACK ATTACK~! Faqu falls back, but gets caught from falling by landing against the ropes, only to be sent running while in a daze due to the blow, and caught with a snap powerslam from Zack on the rebound! COACH He just scooped him right up like he was nothing! COLE Zack is on the warpath, but he has to watch how much energy he's expending...he still has a ways to go in this Gauntlet Match! After flooring the sizable Samoan, Zack brings him up and rocks him with a pair of European uppercuts, causing Faqu to teeter but not topple. Zack then unloads with hard strikes, a Malibu trademark, as Faqu is defenseless against the onslaught of palm strikes and then dropped with a roaring elbow! Zack lures Faqu to his feet and then sends him into motion, tossing him into the corner before following up with a ZACK ATTACK II~!, driving both of his knees into the chest of the big man! Zack then whips him to the other side, this time Faqu colliding chest first with the buckles...and a second Zack Attack II follows, with Zack's knees driven into his back! Woozy, the big man staggers back, and Malibu takes him and hoists him up, planting him with a German suplex! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! NO! SHOULDER UP! COLE What an onslaught we just saw there, and it STILL wasn't enough to put that animal down! With sweat beading up on his brow, Zack rolls to his feet and waits on Faqu, crouching in the ready position for his trademark match-ender. As Faqu rises, Zack bursts forward with SCHOOL'S OUT, only to have his foot caught! Faqu throws his leg down and then snatches Zack by the throat, but the persistent prep quickly breaks free by driving an elbow into his cheekbone! Faqu backs away, then fires off a roundhouse kick, but Zack ducks it and uses a quick go-behind, then lifts Faqu again and drops him on the back of his head with a release German that shakes the ring! Holding his head, Faqu fumbles as he tries to stand, and is defenseless this time when Zack makes a second attempt for School's Out, this time cracking the Samoan in the jaw with his trademark superkick! COACH Damn, they musta heard that smack outside! Faqu drops, and Zack drops on top, hooking the leg as the fans count along... ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! COLE He got him! Zack Malibu just scored a victory over Landon Maddix's personal wrecking ball, and now Zack STILL has to face the rest of Cucaracha Internacional! COACH Faqu might not've gotten the win, but he certainly did his part in wearing Zack down for whoever comes out next! Zack gets to his feet and leans on the top rope, watching the aisleway to see who comes out next. Sure enough, it's none other than the leader himself, LANDON MADDIX, who starts coming to the ring slowly. Zack, looking tired and worn, steps back and waves Landon on, eager to lay a hurting on the man who stole the World Title from him just one year ago. Zack keeps an eye on Landon as he approaches the ring...and that's his fatal mistake, as James Blonde nails him from behind with a rabbit lariat! COLE HEY! What the hell is he doing!? COACH So wait...is Landon next, or James Blonde? Maddix is all smiles as he rolls into the ring, while Blonde keeps Zack down by stomping him in the back of the head. At ringside, Nathaniel Black makes his presence felt as well, coming over the railing from the crowd, the same way James Blonde appeared! Hurling Michael Buffer to the floor, Black grabs the steel chair and folds it up, sliding into the ring as Blonde pulls Zack up...and waylays him with a brutal chair shot across the head! COLE Damn him! This was never meant to be a Gauntlet, Coach. This was all a set up! They're trying to take Zack out before this Sunday, before the War Games! CI stands tall, and the numbers grow as Todd Cortez makes his way down to the ring, taking his time and drawing Landon's ire because of it. COLE Todd Cortez out now, and here's a guy who really doesn't want to be doing what he's doing. Zack is pulled up off the canvas again, this time with blood dripping down his face. Black and Blonde hold his arms out, and Faqu gets up and comes off the ropes with a running kick, smashing Zack across the face. Zack drops to the canvas again, and as Black pulls him up, Landon tells him to hold on. Maddix turns to Cortez, who is watching his stablemates, all people he'd rather do without in his life, brutalize the OAOAST's hero. Maddix makes a familiar motion to Cortez, then tells him to grab Zack up off the mat. COLE Landon Maddix wants Zack Malibu out of the way come Sunday, and he wants Todd Cortez to do his dirty work! COACH There's a history there with Zack, both good and bad, but knowing Cortez, this is the last thing he wants to do right now. Cortez refuses to move, not going after Zack despite Landon's wishes. Maddix, growing frustrated, drags Zack over to Cortez and drops him at his feet, ordering him to lay Zack out. Still, Cortez won't move, and that's when the rest of Landon's crew moves in, looking to treat Cortez as they have Zack tonight. Cortez stares Landon down, then quickly moves for Zack, pulling him up and setting him up for a RIOT ACT PLUS~! COLE Damn it, Cortez, don't do it! You don't have to do it! The fans try to call off Todd's intentions as well, as he readies Zack...and then shoves Zack back down to the mat! Incensed, Landon spins Todd around, but Todd winds up taking Landon by the throat and lifting him off his feet, driving him down with an URBAN ASSAULT~! COACH YO~! COLE INSUBORDINATION AT ITS FINEST! Cortez lays out the man he hates more than anything, drawing a huge reaction from the crowd! It's a short-lived freedom celebration however, as the rest of Cucaracha Internacional pounce, pummeling Cortez before he can get up off the canvas! COLE Cortez proved to be defiant tonight, not allowing Landon Maddix to blackmail him into doing his dirty work any longer, but he's paying the price right now! With Landon and Zack both down, it's still a three on one situation, reminiscent of a gang beating from Todd's old neighborhood...and just like in those days more people want to get in on the action, as BOHEMOTH and SLY SOMMERS come charging down the aisle! COACH Here comes the cavalry, Mikey Cole! Bo slides into the ring and immediately tosses a charging Black over the top rope and to the floor with a back bodydrop that splatters him at ringside! COLE There goes one! With Black out of the way, Sommers and Bohemoth square off with the internationally reknowned duo of Blonde and Faqu, trading blows with their War Games opposition...until James Cone appears to chop block Sly from behind, again putting the odds in favor of the rulebreakers! COLE James Cone, the captain of this War Games team is out now, and no matter what, it looks like the odds are stacked against Sly and his allies! Blonde and Cone double up on Sly, and with Blonde holding Sommers at bay, Cone picks up the chair that's been left on the canvas, stained with Zack's blood from the earlier shot. Looking positively vindictive as he playfully jabs the end of the chair at Sly's throat, Cone cocks the chair back, ready to lay out the captain of the opposing team...until LEON RODEZ hits the ring and steals the chair from him, throwing it aside! COACH SILKY SMOOTH, BABY! COLE Leon Rodez! Cone fumes at the save, while Sly kicks his leg back, striking Blonde low, and then hitting a low blow on Cone as well! Sly gets up and he and Leon team up, taking Cone and tossing him through the ropes to the floor, collding with Nathaniel Black as he attempts to get back in the ring! COLE James Cone just got sent airborne, and Nathaniel Black was the collateral damage on that one! Cone and Black get up, both stunned and both angered by the infractions against them...which continue as Rodez and Sommers hit stereo dives from the top turnbuckle, dropping down onto their foes on the outside! At the same time, Bo disposes of Faqu by dumping him over the ropes with a clothesline, and Todd Cortez sends Blonde packing as well, catching him with a spin kick off the ropes that sends him rolling to the floor! With the crowd at a fever pitch, the only man left in the ring is Landon Maddix, who gets up and turns around to come face to face with a blood-covered Zack Malibu! Gulping and in fear of what's to come, Landon steps back, but winds up backing into the "other" last person he'd want to run into at this point, that being Cortez! COACH I have a feeling that this whole thing might be backfiring as we speak! Landon turns around, and without warning, Todd takes him by the head and sets him up for a RIOT ACT PLUS, but Landon bails and goes running from ringside, into the aisleway to regroup with his alliance. Standing tall in the ring though, are now five men, and it looks as though Cortez's defiance has not only made Cucaracha Internacional and James Cone irate, but it's evened the odds for Sunday! COLE An alliance that we've never expected, but one that is certainly formidable. It looks like Sly's got his squad together, because Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, and now Todd Cortez and Leon Rodez are standing side by side with him, calling out James Cone and company! The heels fume in the aisleway, while in the ring, a tense handshake is seen between Leon and Todd. With the memories of two years ago having come up in conversation recently, it appears that Todd is ready to make some amends by fighting on the same side, doing his best to abolish the slavery Landon has him under. COLE The Great Angle Bash is this Sunday, and if tonight's mayhem got you fired up, imagine what you'll see when two rings are enclosed by a steel cage! James Cone, Landon Maddix, Faqu, James Blonde and Nathaniel Black, taking on Sly Sommers, Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, Leon Rodez and Todd Cortez! Fans, it's this Sunday and it's not something to miss! For Da Coach, I'm Michael Cole saying we'll see you this Sunday! Edited June 28, 2008 by Zack Malibu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 27, 2008 (edited) COLE Folks, Josh Matthews has an update about the OAOAST president situation. Josh? The image becomes split screen as we see Josh standing outside the BOD door with Theodore Moneymaker, smiling broadly and barely suppressing laughter, at his side. JOSH That's right, Michael, I have a huge update coming right from the mouth of the search committee's Mister Theodore Moneymaker. Mister Moneymaker? In a insanely unusual show of kindness, Moneymaker actually puts his arm around Josh. The announcer is certainly spooked and looks worried as though he thinks Moneymaker is about to choke him out. MONEYMAKER Josh how does it feel to stand inches away from the doorway to the room where entertainment and athletic history was made? I bet it feels absolutely amazing. Imagine how I feel being the one to shape that history and change the course of the OAOAST forever. I feel on top of the world, Josh, and when The Great Angle Bash rolls around I'm going straight to cloud nine. Because, the whole world will be introduced to the person that will right Anglesault's many many wrongs, the brand new OAOAST President. JOSH Have you found someone?! MONEYMAKER BWAHAHAHAHA! Yes we have. And its someone who's moral fiber, and ethical character I can personally vouch for. They weren't just my first choice, they were my only choice. They bring experience, knowledge, fortitude, foresight and best of all a businessman's aggression to what's been a stale, dull, and stagnant company. Thank god the board of director's heeded my call to give this person the keys to the car. They're going to drive us all to the promise land! I can't wait for them to begin, and I can't wait for you to meet them at Great Angle Bash. BWAHAHAHAHAH! And with that we cut to a rundown of the card for the GAB with the Beastie Boys' "Gratitude" playing in the background.... GREAT ANGLE BASH -OPEN CHALLENGE FOR THE HEARTLAND TITLE- -MISTER DICK JOCK MULLIGAN Vs BARON WINDELLS- -PANIC AT THE DISCO AND MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW Vs KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN AND D*LUX- -OPEN CHALLENGE FOR THE ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TITLES- -WAR GAMES: TEAM PHOENIX VS TEAM SOMMERS- -OAOAST WORLD TITLE: CUBAN WALL VS PRL- -NAMING OF THE NEW OAOAST PRESIDENT- As "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys continues playing, we cut to Cuban Wall, sitting on a chair in front of a blue background with the OAOAST logo on it. Cuban Wall is wearing his wrestling attire because he lives and breathes wrestling, DAMNIT! In addition to that, he is wearing sunglasses and gold chains around his neck. Wall has a cocky smirk on his face when the camera cuts to him. CUBAN WALL So it has finally happened. I finally get a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This Sunday at The Great Angle Bash I get what should have been mine a LONG time ago! And they are calling this match 'Good Friends, Bitter Enemies'. Heh. Cute. Not exactly my first choice for a tagline, but then again, I am not one of the marketing geniuses of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. But you know something, P.R.? It's more than that. Yeah, it goes beyond that. Because you know what, P.R.? You've changed. You are not the same fearless man that you used to be. You are not the same ballsy talented competitor who kicked ass and won title after title! Oh no! You are not the same guy that led The Lightning Crew for four incredible years and could have led it for many more. No, instead, you are weak. You are pathetic. You are soft. You have lost what made you great. You are a shell of your former self. It is sad to see you play to these idiots, make them your world. You didn't used to care about the fans! What the hell happened!? But it's okay. It's all right, because Cuban Wall is your remedy. He's gonna bring you back! Back to the Promised Land! I'm like Jimmy Jones! 'Bring me my children!' And PRL, you are one of them. The camera does a close-up of Cuban Wall's face as he continues speaking. CUBAN WALL (CONT'D) This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to get what I SHOULD have gotten at AngleMania VII! This match is really 3 months overdue, P.R.! Well, good things come to those who wait and this Sunday the waiting will end. No Holds Barred. That's right, NO HOLDS BARRED! I DO TO YOU WHATEVER I WANT TO DO! You have never beaten a man of my size on your own! You have never won a match like this without The Lightning Crew! YOU HAVE NEVER WON A DAMN THING IN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER WITHOUT SOMEONE'S HELP! And P.R., you won't have ANY help this Sunday night! THIS WILL BE A FIGHT! MANO-E-MANO! WHO'S THE TOUGHEST!? WHO'S THE BADDEST!? NO HOLDS BARRED! And you know something, PRL? You are treading in water where only the big boys can play! And I am the biggest boy in the game right now! This Sunday night, I am going to show the world that you needed The Lightning Crew to survive in the wrestling business! I am going to show the world that without The Lightning Crew you cannot hack it! I am going to show the world this Sunday that everything you got you got because of me, or Mr. Boricua, or Vitamin X, or The Bone Thug, or Thomas Rodriguez, or anyone else in The Lightning Crew! This Sunday night, the whole world will see just how much of a weakling, just how much of a FRAUD, just how much of a LOSER you really are! Pay-per-view, The Great Angle Bash 2008, PRL, you are looking at the next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! Cuban Wall smiles an evil smile as the camera cuts to the matchup graphic for Tha Puerto Rican vs. Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008. "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys is still playing. The camera cuts to Tha Puerto Rican standing in the OAOAST Control Center. Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a white dress shirt, a grey vest, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and black dress pants with a leather belt to hold them up. PRL has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN A No Holds Barred Match against the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall. You know, everybody is wondering, 'PRL, that really isn't your style! Aren't you a little bit worried?' You know something? First, everybody told me that an Ultimate X Match with my career on the line was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong! THEN, everybody told me that a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year in front of over 100,000-plus fans at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California with a biased referee officiating was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong AGAIN! THEN, everybody told me that a Triple Threat Match against two of the most talented wrestlers in the world today for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship was not...my...style! And I PROVED them WRONG AGAIN! I have PROVED my diversity to Spanish Fly! I have PROVED my diversity to Stephen Joseph Popick! I have PROVED my diversity to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix AND "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez! I have PROVED my diversity to everybody else in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And NOW, everybody is telling me that fighting is not...my...style! Well, incase you haven't gotten it by now: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO! I've got news for you: MY STYLE IS WHATEVER IT WANTS TO BE! The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican's face as he continues speaking, FIRED UP~! "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys is still playing in the background. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) This Sunday night, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at The Great Angle Bash 2008, in the No Holds Barred Match, I will show you Cuban Wall just how great I truly am! I am going to show you just how overrated The Lightning Crew was and how USELESS they really were to me! This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to show you, The Lightning Bolts, and the WHOLE WORLD THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE! And that I AM THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING AND THE GREATEST PUERTO RICAN ATHLETE IN THE WORLD TODAY! In Minneapolis, Cuban Wall, you are going to find out just how much of a USELESS LACKEY you were to me when I WHOOP your 6'7" 285 pound fat ass all over the Target Center! Cuban Wall, watch out for the lightning strikes, because this Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, you will suffer a P.R. Nightmare after I layeth the smacketh down on your candy ass! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! Tha Puerto Rican does The People's Eyebrow. He then sneers at the camera while breathing hard. He is visibly shaking, he is SO FIRED UP, DAMNIT~! The camera continues its close-up of Tha Puerto Rican's face IN ANGER~! as "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys ends. We fade out on Tha Puerto Rican's sneering, visibly shaking face. FADE OUT Edited June 27, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
