Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The introductory video combines with Ultimate Victory to welcome a viewership of millions worldwide to the zaniest show on Television... We open the show tonight with the sight of fans cheering, signs being raised...and in the middle of the squared circle, everybody's favorite prep, ZACK MALIBU, stands facing the hard camera, mic in hand. MALIBU This is something that couldn't wait, and won't be held off any longer. For the last few months, there's been a lot of change in the OAOAST. Some for the better, but unfortunately, there's been a lot that's been for worse. I'm a company man through and through...we all know the story about how the torch was passed to me over six years ago, and how the namesake himself made me his successor. For over six years I have fought, bled, and even put my own family in jeopardy all because of how much I love this company, because as much as I've done for it, it's done just as much for me. That is why I'm not going to let happen what I see happening. I'm not going to let this place become corrupted, not by The Enterprise, or Cucaracha Internacional, or Josie, or whoever. Too many people trying to mold this place into their ideal playground, and I'm telling you right now, it's not going to happen. You can say that I've been at fault for being a favorite, but I dare anyone in that locker room, here in this crowd, or over at Sofa Central to tell me that everything I've gotten was EARNED, whether it be a particular match, a championship belt, or the respect of my peers. I look at The Enterprise, flashing money around knowing that there's always more where it came from, and you know what? It doesn't intimidate me, nor will it ever sway me. I look at Cucaracha Internacional, and all I see is someone so insecure about his own ability that he has to lure talent to rally behind his cause so that they're not percieved as his equals, but as his subjects. I see a locker room slowly crumbling into disarray with this changing of the guard and now, I think I might have a solution. The crowd buzzes, as Malibu looks around at the various looks of wonder and anticipation spread out in the crowd. MALIBU There are certain things that can't be replaced. Certain points in time that can never be done over, but it doesn't mean that they can't be done again. Maybe, just maybe, they can be done a little better. Six years ago I came into this federation and immediately became a target. The aWo, The Deadly Alliance, the Dungeon of Doom...whatever the case might have been, I walked into a mob mentality. I was a sitting duck...until I followed suit, and by doing so forming one of the, if not THE most memorable stables in wrestling history! The crowd buzzes, and a slight, albeit loud, chant of that former stable goes up, spreading through the crowd. MALIBU We're not going to try to redo any of those days, because that's a time near and dear to my heart...but tonight, I stand before you to open up a new chapter in the history of that stable. Because the mob mentality will not sweep through this company the way its been. I'm hereby putting The Enterprise, and Josie, and Landon Maddix and his boys on notice...you knew you were going to have to deal with me, but I bet that NONE of you expected...THIS! CUE: A classic OAOAST Theme Song~! The crowd rises to their feet, as a vintage anthem booms over the loudspeakers, and three of the OAOAST's most popular stars emerge from the back, all dressed sharp like the former World Champion. MALIBU Ladies and gentlemen...BOHEMOTH, SLY SOMMERS, LEON RODEZ...THE IN CROWD~!~! The fans ROAR, as the three men hit the ring, each one embracing Zack and Leon even getting a little "cool handshake" action a la the days of Superstar and EvenflowDDT. The fans are on their feet, applauding this, as Zack Malibu has reformed the most popular group in OAOAST history (no pun intended!) MALIBU So now, take note. Four men, four of the OAOAST's best, united against whatever you have to bring. You think that having Anglesault knocked out of power would stop me from carrying the flag for this company? Do you think I need any handouts? I earn things, as I've said before, and one of those things just happens to be the respect of these three men alongside men. Men I've both teamed and battled with. We've all gone through hell for each other and against each other, but it's built a solid foundation for us. We know we can trust each other. We know we can rely on each other, and we know that combined, we are more than any of you can handle. Individually, we're good. We're DAMN GOOD. Together...well, we're The In Crowd, and if you're not IN... Malibu holds the mic out, and the crowd shouts in unision, finishing the catchphrase. ...YOU'RE INSIGNIFICANT~! "Popular" hits again upon the exit of the four men. A new (old) force to be reckoned with has just been turned loose on the OAOAST, and this one is surely to become a hot topic of conversation in the locker room, as HelDOWN~! heads to its first commercial break! Naw, fuck that, I run the show! -We cut to the halls in the back of the arena. The halls are lined with assorted pictures of old White dudes in suits. Cos it's Virginia. They probably own tobacco plantations. Anyway, we're there, and we can hear yelling. Not happy yelling, but angry, violent yelling. The camera moves swiftly to the door that it's coming from, and... IT'S NOT THE DOOR AT ALL! It's coming from BEHIND THE DOOR! The door is cracked slightly, so the cameraman has no problem getting in. Inside we see three people: JOSIE!, The OAOAST President/General Manager, COLIN MAGUIRE, JR!!, and of course... COLIN MAGUIRE! The Maguire's stand side by side in front of Josie, who is sitting back on her desk. JUNIOR I mean, SERIOUSLY! You booked WHAT kind of match, Baker?! JOSIE ...a Submissions Only match... JUNIOR A SUBMISSIONS ONLY MATCH! And DID I submit?! JOSIE Well, technically, no... JUNIOR NO! I did NAWT submit! NAWT! N-O-T, NAWT! So tell me WHY THE FUCK your douchebag cousin is still the champion! -Colin Maguire, Sr. shakes his head softly. MAGUIRE Collie, you need to calm down now, son... JUNIOR NO! Dad, this should nawt even be an issue! It's a submissions only match, nobody submitted, there is no winner...I DID NAWT LOSE THAT MATCH, there was NO WINNER, and there is GOING TO BE A REMATCH! -The fans cheers are mixed at this. Half of the fans boo at Junior's brashness, while the other half cheer at the idea of Grey/Maguire II. Josie shakes her head as she grabs her pack of cigarettes, a small smile creeping onto her face. She slowly pulls one out and puts it in her mouth. Colin Sr. presents a Zippo lighter, lighting the cigarette for her. JOSIE Colin...Junior...you LOST that match. -The fans erupt as Junior moves toward Josie, his hand clenched into a fist. Maguire grabs him by the arm and pulls him back slightly. Josie chuckles slightly. JOSIE Junior, honey...I've been Devil Dolled by Ragdoll...I've been hit with chairs, trash cans, barbed wire, you name it...hell, Axel has given me a few concussions just for being there. Do you really think that threatening to PUNCH me is going to scare me? -Junior pulls his arm away from his dad and sits back down, his anger still very evident. JOSIE ...ANYWAY...Junior, I will admit...your match's result was caused by very unfair circumstances. Your sister's involvement - albeit sweet and, quite frankly, pretty cute - did upset the course of the match, which seemed to be going in your favor. In my eyes, that does not fly. -The fans lightly cheer as Josie takes a drag off her cigarette. She holds the smoke in for a moment before blowing the smoke out her nose. JOSIE On that note, you broke my cousin's ribs in that match, so your title match is going to be...well...put on rain check... -Junior shakes his head at this, his anger coming back. Maguire puts his hand onto Junior's shoulder, trying to calm him down. JOSIE So...you will get another shot at my cousin Jereme at AngleSlam. -The fans erupt! Junior smiles wide as Maguire nods his head. JOSIE It will be a No Disqualification match... -The cheers grow much louder as Junior nods in approval. Suddenly, the door swings opens, and in walks... EVELYN MAGUIRE! The cheers go off the richter at the sight of her. She smiles to Josie and her dad, but it fades once she looks at her brother, who's smile has also been replaced by the angriest look you could imagine. JOSIE ...and SHE'LL be the Special Guest Referee. -THE CHEERS! OH GOD THE CHEERS!! JUNIOR WHAT?! MAGUIRE What?! EVELYN ...What? JOSIE You, Evelyn Maguire, will referee the No Disqualification rematch between your brother Colin, and my cousin, Jereme Grey, for the SJPW Cruiserweight Title at AngleSlam. Is that cool with you? -Evelyn looks around the room and at her Dad. He smiles slightly, shrugging to her. EVELYN Uh...I...I dunno.. JOSIE Honey, you don't have a choice...you're the guest referee. -Junior fumes as Evelyn hangs her head. She is now standing beside her father, almost hiding from her brother. JOSIE Now...if you'll excuse me...I have more business to attend to. So...skedaddle. -Junior quickly stands and rushes out of the room, slamming the door. Colin and Evelyn slowly stroll out as the camera fades....NOW WE CAN GO TO COMMERCIAL! LATER TONIGHT TAG TEAM NUMBER ONE CONTENDER SHIP D*LUX VS THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS TONIGHT TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT SECOND ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH LEON RODEZ VS REJECT THE MAINEVENT BUT COMING UP NEXT SECOND ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS CUBAN WALL NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 (edited) As we return from commercial break, the arena is under attack from powerful swirling green and red strobe lights. The fans are on their feet, loudly chanting “MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”. But, the man himself is as cool and collected as one can be. He sits at sofa central, in a white dress shirt with the top five buttons undone, bootcut jeans, and Gucci sunglasses on his purposely unkempt hair. Hooray casual Thursdays! COLE Alright, folks, we are moments away from our first match of the Money In The Bank quarter finals, which puts Cuban Wall against Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan. And where there's Krista there has to be he who has the huge crush on her, Theodore Moneymaker. MONEYMAKER Cole, I'm rich, I drive nice cars, plural, I have huge houses, plural again I have luxurious condos, plural, I'm on TV, I'm tall, I'm dark, and I'm damn handsome. Not ruggedly handsome. Damn handsome. I would think a superficial homosexual like you would love me! BWHAHAHAHA! COLE You're easy on the eyes, hard on the ears. Now, before we start, your boys The Beverly Hills Blonds will be in a number one contenders match to determine who will meet ThunderKid and Reject at Angleslam later on. Any thoughts? MONEYMAKER Do we give thoughts on the sun rising in the east, and setting in the west? Do we give thoughts on the grass growing green? The sky shinning blue? Why give thoughts on something as inevitable as the world turning? D*LUX hasn't a chance, my friend. Not a chance. And before you ask me about Zack reforming the In Crowd, let me tell you this, if Sly, Bo, and Leon wish to make an honest days wage carrying Zack's bags, good for them, but while they're shinning the so-called franchise's boots, the real franchise of the OAOAST, me, will be out making major league moves that define this company. “I AM IRON MAN!” The dreary, ghoulish opening of Ozzy's classic brings out a river of boos from the Virgina audience. A thick fog envelops the entrance area, only broken by strobe lights as the hard guitar riffs rage on. Finally the incredible amount of fog is separated as Cuban Wall strides through it. The camera pans up his overpowering physique that's made even more meancing by the flickering white lights and forest of smoke. The audience takes in his long blue tights, his fingerless gloves, his Cuban flag bandanna, and his awful sneer. He cracks his knuckles but once before walking down the ramp. BUFFER The following quarter final match Money In The Bank contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of sixty minutes. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 pounds. He is the former Muscle for The Lightning Crew/Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, AND the Winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! COLE We all know Krista's gaudy won-loss record, her ever growing winning streak, but will it hit a wall tonight, so to speak? Is Cuban Wall just too big, too mean and too much for her? Will he do to Krista what he did to Mad Cappa in the first round? COACH Yeah! Krista does this as a hobby, this is a little side thing, this is Wall's life, and he's got something to prove, something to do. He wants that belt on his waist, and off Tha Puerto Rican's. Homeboy says he deserves the gold, this is how he's gonna get it. It ain't wise to bet against Krista, but this is one time when you should! Cloaked in the darkness his erry entrance offers, Wall shadow boxes, and ignores the jeers of the audience in the background. He then enters the ring and glowers at referee Mike Chioda, who slowly backs away. While the frantic white spotlights bounce off his skin, the big man triumphantly throws his arm into the air. The gesture is met only with boos and disdain from the audience, but Wall still defiantly holds his hand into the air. MONEYMAKER I don't much care for Chioda as the referee of this contest. He's the same halfwit responsible for the travesty of Landon Maddix's advancing past a far superior athlete and human being in Christian Wright. COLE I suppose you'd rather have Clem Buzzlefoxer out here right? MONEYMAKER I respect my elders, Cole. I respect those elders who still strive to be a productive member of society, who don't whine and complain about medicare, and medicaid, and social security, and hand me this and hand me that because I'm wrinkled, and flabby, and I smell like Fabreeze and cod liver oil. Greatest generation my ass. If this what we owe them for winning world war II I would rather be goose stepping down the streets of Berlin! As Ironman fades away, its replaced by a resonating cheer of excited anticipation from the audience. Then the smooth yet funky synthesized melodies of MGMT's Electric Feel kicks in and the cheers grow ever louder as the fans rise to their feet. Shock me like an electric eel baby girl turn me on with your electric feel Ooh girl shock me like an electric eel baby girl turn me on with your electric feel The entrance stage is buried in a harmonious, almost sensual and enigmatic turquoise light. Silver sparkling snow begins to lightly rain down from the ceiling, glittering beautifully in the lighting. Disrupting this soft and airy feel is the flickering flooring of the stage, who's tiles alternate between blue, yellow, red, green and orange lights. On top of these tiles, are the usual bevy of gorgeous female dancers, all dressed as superhero's such as Wonder Woman, Jean Grey, Catwoman, Storm, etc. The girls perform a seductive dance, which mimics fighting moves while mixing them with slower ballet pair's movements. COLE Krista must've let Melody choreograph this thing. Standing at the height of the stage, at the center of everyone's attention, untouched by the downfall of the glitter is the always lovely, always semi drunk (as evidenced by the martini in her hand), Krista Isadora Duncan. The world famous celebrity has come dressed as The Invisible Woman, Sue Richards, in black platform boots and a dark blue body suit with the number four etched on the left chest. COLE Yeah Melody definitely choreographed this thing. MONEYMAKER Its nice to let the retarded children do something special. BUFFER And the opponent, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! The entrance ramp has taken on the feel of a high class Paris runway, with red and black glitter carpeting it, and photojournalist positioned at the side to capture a picture of a smirking Krista's supermodel strut down the runaway. The silver glitter continues to rain from the ceiling, falling on everyone except for Krista. COLE Moneymaker, I know how obsessed you are with Krista, and you should really see D*LUX to talk about the pain of unrequited crushes on a lesbian. They actually wrote a song about it. Its called The Pain of unrequited crushes on a lesbian. MONEYMAKER Unbelievable the amount of crap I take from the mouth breathing mongs around here. You try to do a little good for the community- COLE What good have you ever done? You entrap the namesake of the company with a hooker, you routinely bully the most popular female on the roster, you tried to sabotage her walk of fame induction, you harass and attack every tag team that poses even a minor annoyance to you, you turned Jade's life upside down.. MONEYMAKER But I did it all with love. Krista's legs glide across the apron, then attach themselves to the third rope. She bends herself backwards to the audience's delight, but not her's as her martini is spilled. COLE Wall's old tag partner Vitamin X lost his job this past Thursday, but I doubt Wall has bothered to shed any tears. He's only focused on winning this match. DING DING DING After the opening bell rings Krista and Wall come face to face. Or face to chest. Or face to stomach really, and that's when she finally realizes that her foe for the fight is quite a bit larger than she is. To his arrogant amusement she raises her hand to punch him, yet falls well short of his chin. Even on platform boots and standing on tippy-toe she only manages to graze him with a slight blow. "Just give me one quick second, okay?" She mutters, frustrated. Krista doesn't bother to wait for answer from Wall or the referee, and retreats to the outside area. She ducks beneath the apron, which leads the crowd to murmur their confusion to one another. But their mystery is quickly solved, when Krissy reemerges with a step ladder. As they cheer her ingenuity, she slides into the ring with a smirk on her face. Drawing quizzical stares from Chioda and Wall alike, the blond bombshell unfolds her tool, and quickly scampers up it. COLE Hahah, shes gonna use a step ladder to hit Wall. MONEYMAKER No she isn't. Moneymaker must know Krista all to well, as she doesn't do anything remotely violent. She instead takes a tube of cherry flavored lip stick and begins gingerly applying the bright red stuff to Wall's forehead. Mystified by this unusual situation, Wall remains rooted on his massive boots. MONEYMAKER Why do they just stand there and let her harass them? She's not gonna compliment your teeth whitening, man, she's gonna humiliate you! "All finished." Krista exclaims and then motions for Wall turn around to face the video screens. Curious as to see what masterpiece Krista has canvased him with, the big man follows orders. "Look behind you?" He reads, in wonderment. "I can see behind me, there ain't nothin there!" For his refusal to follow simple orders, Wall is punished with a nauseating twirl and a rough crash landing into the mats from the a tornado version of the WWSDDT (write shit down DDT) "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" MONEYMAKER Cuban Wall, you deserved that. Wall figures Krista deserves a hellish beating for her jokes, and begins to rise with the intent on giving her one. But, the traffic stopping blond hinders this gruesome plan by upending the step ladder at Wall. Although he raises his beefy arm as a shield, the combined velocity of the chair and the shooting pain it inflicts hurl him over to the mats. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" MONEYMAKER And you deserved that. Trying to keep the match from spiraling into Krista kicking furniture at her foe, the referee warns her about the possibility of a DQ. To which Krissy casually responds by scribbling a message onto his forehead. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Chioda reads her literary work on the video screen with dread, "STFU" MONEYMAKER And you deserved that. Krista decides the referee has taken her succinct hint, and returns her focus to her much larger rival. Wall, however, is well recovered from her chair swinging incident and tags her with a punch to the face. The blow staggers Krista, and fills her with worry over the damage he may have done to her gorgeous face. That preoccupation, is what allows Wall to slam his forearm across her back. Krista cries out in agony, and falls onto the ropes, where the audience gets a heart wrenching look at her anguished face. MONEYMAKER I'm not terribly comfortable with someone such as Cuban Wall being on the TSM board. I think after he crushes Krista's bones into dust I'll assassinate him. Don't give me that look, Cole, I'm not going to shoot him, just going to have him stabbed a few times. Wall latches onto her lush golden hair, and twists her so that she faces him. As a snarl forms on his lips, he throws his elbow into her face. Its an attack that nearly launches the crowd favorite over the ropes, but she clutches her arms around them and remains grounded. That grip on the cables does not, however, prevent Wall from latching onto her wrist and chucking her across the ring. As she treks across the canvas, the thickset brawler plods behind her. He should've picked up the pace, though; when KID returns her leather clad legs devastate him with a spinning wheel kick! As if that weren't enough to pop the sold out crowd, Krista turns to Moneymaker to offer him a heartfelt middle finger. Leaving the billion dollar heir to stew behind the announce table, Miss California twirls her body in the air and wows the audience with a standing shooting star leg drop. Chioda drops to his knees to count the fall.. ONE! Wall kicks out with such power that the walk of famer is catapulted through the air. Fortunately she lands on her feet, and as Wall gets to his, she scrambles his brains with an enziguri! The audience explodes with more cheers for her latest show of agility. But, Krista plays it casual and cool, merely flipping her lovely hair as she attempts a second pinfall... ONE! Again Wall kicks out with his near supernatural power. And once more, Krista is sent ripping through the air, and this time she's launched through the ropes. But a catastrophic crash is avoided as the fitness queen lands perfectly on her platform boots. The audience loudly applauds her display of dexterity. "Yeah, I know, its a miracle. But not as good a one as when I bit into the draddle at hebrew school and it was chocolate. I just wanted lead poisoning to get out of playing Hebrew deal or no deal, or Brit or Lo Brit. Krista slides back onto the apron, and through the use of the ring ropes takes to the air. With her long legs extended she flies right at the big man, who's backing away. Her boots track him down and slam into his chest with full force and he's launched backwards coming down in a mammoth heap that rocks the ring to its core. Despite what looked to be a wicked drop onto the mat, Wall immediately springs upright and pastes Krista with a forearm to the neck. Knocked short of breath, Miss California is unable to stop Wall from throwing her across the ring with an Irish whip. But, when she returns she is able to stop him from mangling her with a lariat by casually saying, "You can't hit me. I'm invisible." "What?" "I'm invisible." "I can see you." "No you can't. I'm invisible. Invisible woman, remember." "Oh...damn, my bad. Sorry" Wall laments and actually walks away. That action goes from foolish to painfully foolish, as Krista jumps into the air, grabs onto the back of his bandanna and drives him face first into the canvas! For the first time in the match, Krista has Wall in true pain, and he writhes about with agony scalding his face. MONEYMAKER (with his head in his hands) Lord, when will it end? When will your humble servant finally be free? For a floored Cuban Wall the end can't come soon enough, as now Krista has trapped his giant-sized head between her powerful legs. This isn't nearly as wonderful a position as it sounds; the SoCal babe proceeds to shatter every bone in his face by going through a push up routine. Every time she lowers her body his face is smashed against the rock solid canvas, and the audience cheers madly. "THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT!" She shouts over the sound of Wall's face thudding into the mat. "NINE! TEN! Only eight hundred seventy two more to go." COLE Those are fifteen million dollar legs that are breaking your nose, Cuban Wall, you should be honored. COACH Legs insured for fifteen million dollars. Yo, if dude's nose really is broken, we ain't got no money to fix it. I bet they'll throw him some duct tape and a half full tube of Elmer's. A shout of desperation bellows from Wall's throat, as he reaches out to grab hold of the bottom rope. The referee calls for Krista to release her grip from Wall's noggin, and she does so but not before giving it one final meeting with the mat. Wall is weakened and wearied from the assault, and rolls beneath the ropes to recover on the outside. This does not set "CUBAN PUSSY! CUBAN PUSSY! CUBAN PUSSY!" COACH Sickening! Does that man look like a pussy to you?! The brute ignores the insults of the audience, as he plods about the outside area. Even the more vulgar putdowns of the front row audience members can't gain his notice. In fact the only thing that gains his attention is the diving corkscrew moonsault Krista aims at him. Though he tries to quickly jerk himself out the way, his gigantic frame thwarts his escape effort and the blond beauty slams through him, toppling him over. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" MONEYMAKER Good god, why I do even come out here anymore? COACH Don't feel bad, sir, Doctor Doom never beats the Fantastic Four either. MONEYMAKER I've always thought of myself as a Tony Stark. Handsome, intelligent, philanthropic. COLE When have you ever given a dime to charity? MONEYMAKER Just this Sunday I made a generous $131,000 dollar donation to the Mercedes-Benz of Miami. Is it my fault an S-Class showed up in my driveway the next morning? Krista pays the referee's count no mind, as she leads Wall off the mats by his bandanna. She hastily motions the audience to back away for their safety, and once they oblige, she rams the monster's face into the guardrail. The steel structure vibrates as though a wrecking ball was brought to it, and the nearby audience members loudly applaud the carnage. A grunting Wall stumbles away from the guardrail. Through his blurred vision, he gets a read on Krista and attempts to strike back at her with a left cross. "No, no, honey. I have the psionic forcefield up." "Damn, I'm sorry....wait a damn minute!" Wall hollers then raises his fist to thrash the Invisible Woman. But suddenly Wall goes teetering into the ring apron, where his hands go up to nurse his sore face. The cause of his current malady lies at his feet, a ThunderKid bobblehead thrown at him by a fan. "Bobble head, psionic forcefiled, what's the difference?" Krista wonders then charges at her rival. However, Wall summons his considerable strength to wrap his hands around her sylphlike waist and throw her into the air. The foxy mommy counters this by placing her hands onto the ring apron, and flipping herself towards the ropes. As she hits the cables, they bounce her back downwards. She catches hold of Wall's head, and spikes it off the paper thin ring mats with a DDT. Flat on his back the Cuban lets a frustrated groan escape his lips while the audience gives Krista's dominance a large ovation. Krista follows this devastating hold up by....borrowing a little girl's Hannah Montana brush and fixing up her hair. COLE Lord don't strike me with lightening for saying this, but you're a good looking guy Moneymaker, you could find someone quick. Why obsess over Krista, I know a cute guy named De'Anthony, he was dancer in "Ain't no other man", an extra in Stomp The Yard, an Abercrombie model, and a backup singer for Janet Jackson. MONEYMAKER Argh! COLE He has season tickets to the Buccaneers. MONEYMAKER It can't hurt to call him. Wall is sharply aware that keeping the fight outside the ring plays into Krista's unorthodox methods. And so, the former muscle of the Lightening Crew rolls back into the ring in hopes of finally claiming the advantage in the match. Krista follows Wall into the ring, and demands he stands up. When he does rise to his redwood like six feet and seven inches, she charges forward. But Wall again wraps his hand around her waist and throws her high into the sky. She comes down throat first against the ring cables, a treacherous landing that knocks the breath right out of her and smokes her vision to blackness. She bounces backwards as though she were shot out of a cannon and splatters across the canvas. What would delight any other opponent, only draws out a small sneer from Wall. "First the doctor finds blood in my alchol and now this." Krista complains with a voice broken by her wounded throat. "Don't you mean..." the ref begins. "No, honey, I don't." Comes her reply, as she fails to notice Wall looming behind her. Of course she's made painfully aware of the big man's presence when he grabs on tight to her lush hair and rips her off the mat. He takes hold of her arm, and yanks her forward to mow her down with a short arm lariat. The shot connects right with her injured throat, and the moment she hits the ground is the moment she begins hacking and wheezing. Wall merely circles her, sneering like he always does, plotting out his next vile move. COACH Lemme keep it funky for ya, Wall is mounting a comeback. Dude is on a mission to prove himself. This is a real wrestler's tournament, see. Krista ain't a real wrestler. COLE If Krista is The Invisible Woman, you gotta be Mr.Fantastic, 'cause you're stretchin! Wall grabs Krista by her wrist and drags her back towards the center of the ring. She screams hoarsely and she tries to fight back, but the strength of the Havana native is far too much for the walk of famer to overcome. He drags her to her feet, letting her limply stagger in place before he puts her back on the ground with another short arm lariat. As the audience recoils in horror, Krista paws at her throat, trying to do anything to calm the horrible pain. But, that pain turns into something even more terrifying when Wall sandwiches her neck between the bottom ropes and his forearm. Her croaking cries are barely heard over the jeering of the fans and the count of Chioda, but its enough to bring the slightest smile to Wall's face. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Finally Wall let's Krista go free, but then turns his attention to cursing the referee for counting down his hold too quickly. After he's finished with the official he returns his focus to Krista, grabbing onto her leather leggings and her twisting her over so that she now lies back first across the bottom cables. The fans and the referee beg him not to do what they think he's about to do, but Wall refuses to listen and falls backwards. This brings Krista up until her neck brutally collides with the second rope. She sags down to the canvas, all the life and color in her skin seemingly hauled out of it by that one miserable attack. She rolls across the canvas, coughing violently in her effort to regain her breath. MONEYMAKER Why is god so good to me? Great hair, high cheek bones, wash board abs, American Express black card, Gucci watches, and now my worst enemy being beaten by the exact type of person her hippy kind allowed into this country. It'd be even better if one of those Iraqis murders her kind begged us not to go to war against blew up her house. Or at least kidnapped her dog. Wall treks to her slowly as she nears the ropes, glaring at her with his trademark scowl. He drops to his knees, and envelopes his huge hands across his her head, her hair spilling through his fingers. He brings her neck up into the ropes, while firing a deathly glare into her tear filled eyes. Chioda and the fans complain about Wall's ill treatment of Krista, but nothing they say will pry him away from tormenting the beloved celebrity. "Come on, Wall, let her go, or the match is over for you!" the ref yells. Begrudgingly. Very begrudgingly, the foreign ogre releases his grip on her. Krista curls up into a ball, her entire world feeling as though its still be slowly choked away. Above her miserable position, Wall and the referee continue to argue over his tactics, with Wall insisting he has a five count to work with. MONEYMAKER Its sad. The referees here have their favorites. COLE Just like certain general managers. MONEYMAKER Just like certain announcers have their favorite gas station glory holes. Could it be time for another Too Catch A Predator? Bringing “The Invisible Woman” up by the back of her neck, Wall forces her into the nearby corner. He grins with a devilish amusement at her suffering, and then adds to it by throwing his elbow into her pretty face. The blow is so powerful that it drops the weakened fitness queen against the second rope. That result is rather pleasing to PRL'S former muscle, and he takes another shot at Krista's face. She sinks down to the canvas, where a third shot leaves her dazed and only semi-conscious. COACH This is lookin a lot like Jade against Malaysia right now, only difference is, Krista still is probably gonna come back. Jade got that ass jacked up! As the fans deride him with taunts and insults, he leads their beloved heroine off the mat and leads her towards the center of the ring. Unfortunately for Wall, Krista finds her second wind and lashes him with a kick to the left leg. Another one to the fight follows, and a thrid one to the left leaves him weak on his knees. That's perfect for Krista, who leaps into the air and twists her body around to plant her boot into his expansive chest! "YEAAAAA!" the crowd screams, even though the kicks weren't able to floor the giant. COLE Those four kicks were Fantastic! A Fantastic Four! MONEYMAKER Wow. Just wow. Are you actually collecting a paycheck? Do you just have squatter's right on this announce table and that's why they let you on here? Krista trots to the ropes, eager to find some offensive attack that will put her rival down for a three count. As she returns she takes to the air, seeking to get Wall with an inverted lung blower. But, he moves with stunning quickness and traps her into a lethal bear hug. The audience moans with dread, absent of the confidence that Krista will be able to escape Wall's clutches. MONEYMAKER Its over, its over, its over. Believe you that. I don't care if she wins all the time, I don't care if she won greco roman wrestling at the 776 BC Olympics, this man has huge fat arms, and she is a little thin lady. Physics, man, physics. COACH Word up, sir! Her little Screen Actors Guild don't teach a course on how to escape things like this! For once one of Moneymaker's grandoise predictions seems to be on the verge of coming to fruition, as Krista is already fading within Wall's grip. The audience is on their feet, imploring their girl to battle out of the hold, but their are scant few signs of life from the fitness queen. COLE At six feet seven, Cuban Wall squeezing the life out of five foot ten Krista Isaodra Duncan. There are going to be some very mad agents and producers if anything happens to Krista. "LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!" the crowd bleats, stamping their feet in small hopes that will somehow grant her the strength to continue to fight. What their chants do is greatly aggravate Wall, and he roars in a primal fury. The referee hovers around the submission, constantly checking to see if Krista wishes to submit. Though she says no, the exhausted look on her face says that she may be nearer to the end then she let's on. COACH Ain't that a bizzile. Krista Isadora Duncan, unbeatable woman, about to give up. I blame Jade, she done poisoned a bitch's gene pool. Like Stephen Baldwin. Anyway, they probably got her a dressing room full of masseuses, reiki healers, and all kinds up crap while Biff Atlas gotta change in a homeless shelter. Krista knows she hasn't a prayer of fighting her way out of Wall's bear like strength, and so must take a more unorthodox route to win her freedom. "Honey, if you don't let me go, I'll shoot powerful beams of ruby red colored concussive force beams at you and reduce your head to space dust." "You can't do that." "Wanna test me?" No, Wall certainly does not and hastily releases Krista before she can shoot beams from her eyes into his skull. MONEYMAKER (hands in head) Good lord, beams from the eyes isn't Sue Richards, its not even The Fantastic Four. What am I saying, she's not even a superhero, she is just wearing a costume! I think I need a bottle of scotch. Several. Realizing that he's made another grievous error on Krista's super powered status, Wall attempts to correct his gaffe with a big boot. However, the sexy GLAADiator avoids the lurching strike by rolling beneath his leg. She pops up behind him and takes advantage of his ponderous speed, by leaping into his back and pulling him down with a lung blower! YEAAAAA! "Owwww!" Krista shouts, realizing that dropping a 285 pounder across her legs was not such a good idea. COACH What's she complaining about? If anything happens to those legs she gets fifteen million. Shit, I'd Tanya Harding my whole body if I could get enough to get a PS3. Wall is clearly winded by Krista's surprising strike, while The Blonde Bombshell tries to massage her weakened legs and recover from the harrowing bear hug. With that Chioda is forced to begin counting both grapplers out, which makes the audience none to pleased. As he performs his count, the spectators urge Krista to rise to her feet and claim her money in the bank victory. "ONE!" "TWO! "THREE!" COLE If this count gets to ten then I guess Reject or Leon Rodez have a free ride to the tournament finals at Angleslam! But that count won't reach three; both competitors begin to stir and make a groggy ascent to their feet. Krista strikes with first spinning slap that angers Wall more than it hurts him. Not aware, that she's outraged the 6'7 animal, Krissy runs to the ropes. But the moment she begins her return towards Wall, he cuts the distance between them and drives her down with a diving shoulder block! "BOOOOOO!" Both competitors are again strewn across the canvas, appearing like they've been on the worst ends of an interstate car wreck. But, Wall, with his incredible strength and durability is already crawling across the ring. The referee follows him, wanting to know if he wishes to continue the match. Wall grunts yes, and drags himself off the canavas, daring Krista to do the same. She calls on the support of the audience to give her strength, and manages to step upright. But even after doing that all she does is clumsily stagger towards a waiting Wall. The bruiser pounces on her immediately and chucks her into the ring posts. She crashes into the cold steel shoulder first, sending a heartrending clang throughout the entire arena. The ring vibrates violently from the force Wall's throw and Krista is dumped to the outside, where her head endures an awkward crunch against the ring mats. The fans look on in worry and fight, but Wall only displays his ever present sneer. MONEYMAKER What the big guy is doing Krista, is precisely what The Blonds are going to do to D*LUX, unless they've gone into a coma from watching this thing. BWHAHAHA! Krista lies on her back, struggling to even remember where she is much less make any attempt to stand. But, she'd be wise to jog her memory, and get upright mighty quickly, as Wall exits the ring and marches towards her position. He gazes at her with a preadatory snarl, and then drives the underside of her boot across his face. hat brings out a torrent of jeers from the audience, and when he repeats the attack, the fans' hatred burns even brighter and is shouted even louder. Chioda is once more forced to level a warning against Wall. Such cautions fall on death ears, and the monster pummels the greatly fatigued lady. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Wall scrapes Krista off the canvas, and roughly dumps her into the ring. He rolls back in with his eyes gleaming a feral fire. As Krista still struggles to regain her wits, he further afflicts her with a running stomp straight to the head. She can barely move, unable to do anything besides tremble from the misery that's been inflicted on her. Wall figures he's done enough to damage to Krista, and goes for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! But, Krista shoots her shoulder off the canvas. The OAOAST faithful are delighted. Wall noticeably less so. And he grabs Krista by the collar of her bodysuit and hauls her off the canvas. He bulldozes her into the corner, where she still remains but a lifeless husk barely able to stand. Thus Wall sees this as the perfect opportunity to rush her with an avalanche. His titanic figure plows into her svelte frame, and the reaction of the audience is a horrified one, fearing for Krista's health. And as she sinks to the canvas, short of breath and of life, they have every reason to be worried. Wall is, of course, unsympathetic to her physical plight and proceeds to maim her with brutish stomps and punches. MONEYMAKER I bet she wishes she was Nightcrawler so he could teleport the hell outta here! BWHAHAHAHA! These strikes are so savage that the referee has to interject himself on Krista's behalf. But his meager 130 pounds are nothing to constrain the beast, and he continues to assail Krista with punches that have more then a few audience members in tears. One more time, Chioda tries to get between Wall and his victim, and he again fails, with Krista paying the horrible price for his ineffectiveness. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" In what has to be a minor miracle, the official successfully warns off Wall from his target, but receives a quite the vulgar dressing down for doing so. "God," Krista mutters "If you let me live through this, I promise I'll dedicate my life to serving you and spreading your good word." And suddenly as if by some holy act, Krista gets to her feet. She charges at Wall, currently distracted by his onesided argument with the referee and drills him in the chin with a running knee! Wall timbers to the canvas like a fallen tree, and the reaction to his downfall is defaning. "Fooled you, fell for it again" She remarks, looking up to the heavens. MONEYMAKER That damned referee! As Wall begins to rise, outraged by Krista's show of life, the Los Angelenia heads to the ropes. When she reaches Wall, she nails him with a second high knee lift! She rushes back towards the cables, timing her return perfectly so that she strikes her foe with a third knee lift as he stands. She then repeats the same sequence to loosen half his teeth with a fourth and final knee lift. COLE Krista with not an outstanding one, not a tremendeous two, not a thrilling three, but a Fantastic Four knee lifts! MONEYMAKER I think if I was a superhero I'd like to be Wolverine. So I could cut your balls off. COLE You're lucky you're handsome, otherwise you'd be very annoying. With Wall momentarily flattened and the fans singing her name, everyone's favorite covergirl sprints to the edge of the ring, and jumps onto the highest cable. The rope serves as a springboard, shooting her corckscrew moonsaulting figure back towards her fallen foe. She impacts preciesley on his wide chest, earning a gargantuan amount of cheers from the sold out crowd. These same audience members count along with her pivotal pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Wall powers out of the pin, and the fans who were ready to celebrate Krista's victory are stunned with disgust. MONEYMAKER Jesus Christ in a taxi cab, this isn't good for my hyper tension. Cuban Wall if you have any hopes of writing your place in OAOAST history now is the time! With much haste Wall scampers upright, looking to get Krista back under his dreadful control. But the speedy babe keeps on giving him fiits, this time she leaps onto the third rope then springboards off it with a dropkick that sees her platform heels find their mark on his not-so hot face. Having not bothered to block the blow, Wall is knocked senseless and thrown over the ropes. Although his feet touch the ground first, he's unable to maintain his balance thanks in no small part to Krista torpedoing herself through the ropes and smashing her shoulder into Wall's face! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" The audience's pleasant mood is maddingly short, however, as Wall has somehow managed to work his way back upright. Having gotten on God's bad side already, KID can't ask for any miracles, and so instead tries to to ram Wall's head into the nearby ring steps. But, the big man is mostly recovered from his spill to the outside, and uses his regained strength to hurl her near the time keeper. Krista goes haphazardly skidding across the floor, finally coming to an abrupt but painless stop when she slides into Buffer's leg. "Mind if I take a seat, honey?" She asks the announcer, who looks back her with a curious expression. Elsewhere, Wall and Chioda are locked into another argument, with the referee asserting that Wall needs to get back into the ring and respect his position as OAOAST official. Wall is defiant, again throwing out a bombardment of vulgarities at the referee. "You, god damn retard, just shut the hell up, why dontcha! You don't..." BAM! KRISTA THROWS A CHAIR AT WALL! MONEYMAKER IHOLY CRAP! She can't do that! That's a disqualification! You horrible witch, you horrible witch! I promise you... BAM! KRISTA THROWS A CHAIR AT MONEYMAKER! COACH That bitch! She knocked out Mister Moneymaker! How could you? BAM! KRISTA THROWS A CHAIR AT COACH! COLE ...... "Smart man." Krista mutters. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Alas, this latest celebration is as short lived as the ones previous due to emergence of CPA, clad in a white suit, from the stands. He hops the barricade and before Krista is even properly aware of his presence, the former boxer is throwing her under a cannonade of punches. COLE The Enterprise head of security, one half of V.I.C.E coming out to aid his fallen boss, and make sure Krista doesn't make it out this second round! The exasperated look on Krista's face informs CPA that he's weakened her enough to finish her off with his dominator. Thus he lifts her limp body up and drapes it across his shoulder, as the audience peppers him with boos. But those ill feelings change into much joy, as the golden haired hottie slithers down his back to avoid the deathly finisher. In order to avoid the deathly lariat Wall is aiming at her back, she pulls CPA in front of her and the Enterprise heavy is lacerated by Wall's powerful attack. "YEAAAAAA!" Wall isn't overly concerned with his disfiguring of Moneymaker's trusted goon, and instead slides into the ring to try and return this match to even footing. Krista enters the ring with momentum on her side and running boot aimed at her face. Fortunately the GLAADiator is one step ahead of her foe, and smashes his face with a crowd thrilling dropsault! As he teeters on his feet, in danger of falling over, Krista speeds to the ropes. Upon bouncing back her leather covered legs try to scissor themselves across his waist. While he succeeds in that, Wall takes control of the exchange by grabbing her legs flipping her out into a rear waistlock. He then tries to launch her into the next county with a german suplex! But the four time tag champ gracefully backflips her way out of disaster. She rushes back towards a still recovering Wall, to trap her arms across his chin. This draws a mammoth pop from the audience, and its one that grows even louder when she executes a... COLE A FANTASTIC Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! The audience's cheers could level the arena to its very foundation as Krista hooks onto Wall's leg for a crucial pin... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING MGMT's “Electric Feel” returns to the arena, but its tough to hear over the gigantic cheer of the audience. Wall lies on the mat, only vaguely aware of the fact that his Money In The Bank dreams are at an end. BUFFER The winner...and advancing to the semi-finals of the Money In The Bank tournament to face the winner of Reject and Leon Rodez...KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN The gargantuan cheers from the stands continue as Krista celebrates with nothing more than casual smirk and a sip from a martini. This super cool celebration is captured by literally thousands of camera flashes from photojournalist and fan alike. For whatever reason the view switches from that of one people's most beautiful people, to the rat faced announcer, Michael Cole. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan has done it! Another victory in a long of line of them for the walk of famer and now she is one win away from the money in the bank finals at Angleslam! But who will she face? One half of the tag team champions, or will it be the very interesting matchup against Leon Rodez? We see Moneymaker slither upright, draping himself over the table, looking as though he's being ran ragged by a monster hangover. MONEYMAKER Th..th..that music? COLE Welcome back, sleeping beauty. MONEYMAKER Is Krista's match starting now? COLE Starting? Its already over! MONEYMAKER Ov...over? COLE Krista won! Suddenly, Moneymaker's memory seems to have been jogged. He becomes aware of the situation that allowed Krista to capture the victory, and the man who allowed it. Mike Chioda MONEYMAKER I see. Chioda, who is in a discussion with Michael Buffer, finds his conversation interrupted by Moneymaker's hands around his collar. The now panic riddled referee would very much like to know what Moneymaker has in store for him. Fire that flashes in his eyes, tells him its certainly nothing good. The billion dollar heir shows him that's its nothing good, as he belts the official in the stomach! COLE Oh, come on! He hit a referee! Twice. As Chioda begins sagging to the ground, Moneymaker helps speed up his descent with an uppercut that slams against his jaw. Just as soon as Chioda's lifeless bloody mouth tastes the concrete, does Moneymaker finish him off with several stomps. COLE This is insane! I bet Josie won't even fine him for this. I doubt he even gets a warning. Now, the floridian totally disregard him. Instead the corrupt tycoon locks his attention onto Krista. Within seconds he launches the ring bell at her. Though he wished to catch her unawares, KID, easily avoids his throw without spilling a drop of her martini. She then does the only logical thing, and throws it back at him! COLE Oh my! Moneymaker responds by picking up a TV monitor and throwing it at her. And she throws it back at him. And he throws Cole's glass of water at her. And she throws it back at him. And he throws a little kid's Heartland Title replica belt at her. And she throws it back at him. And we go to commercial with Moneymaker angrily hurling things at Krista, and her sipping on her martini and tossing them back with a casual cool. COMMERCIAL Edited August 1, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 The Virgina Captial building, which was designed by Thomas Jefferson, welcomes us back along with Making quick work of the corridor beneath his feet, Leon Rodez is clearly in a hurry as he makes his way towards the office of the General Manager. With a quick look both ways to check the coast is clear, Leon pulls open the door and shoots in swiftly, almost bowling over a surprised Sophie Grey. There's worse people you could bump into, as evident by the apologetic smile on Leon's face. LEON Hey, I'm here to see Josie. SOPHIE Oui, redressez de cette façon. LEON Ooh. Gracias. Leon breezes past the Affirmative Action lawyer, only realising once past her he's goofed on the wrong language, by which time it's too much of an embarrassment to go back and correct himself. So he brushes it off and carries on to the GM's desk. LEON Well well, long time no see! Looking up from her paperwork, Josie sees her former acquaintance (although, not in 'that' way) shutting the door to the office rather sharply, returning the smile he gives her. JOSIE That it is. LEON Sorry I haven't gotten around to congratulating you in person yet. But, better late than never. It's good to see you back. The two share a handshake from over the desk. JOSIE Yeah, well, it's good to be back. Honestly, by the end of my last run this place was grating at my last frikkin' nerve. But I had some time away and..... yeah, it's good to be back, like I said. So, what did you want? LEON Honestly? Refuge. JOSIE I'm sorry? LEON You wouldn't believe how hectic things are right now. Leon sits down opposite Josie, who looks like she's got tons of better and more pressing things to do than listen to whatever Leon has to get off his chest. LEON I've got Maggie on my case wanting to talk, Melody keeps trying to grab a moment with me which isn't helping, I've got Shayne and Tyler... they're like my new GPX... and they're yammering on and on about the crush they've got on Krista, who by the way happens to be the biological mother of Jade who it turns out isn't my sister but infact my niece, which I only found out about a few weeks before she did. Go figure. Now Jade's trying to be Women's Champion, then there's Zack calling favours these past couple of weeks, I've got guys hitting on my girlfriend, guys attacking me with kendo sticks, there's a cut on my head won't close up properly because it keeps getting re-opened by somebody. Seriously, who'd have thought being a wrestler would be so stressful? Just give me the chance to entertain a few thousand people, whatever I make in merchandise sales in my paycheck every month and forget the rest, you know? You know me, I'm not the kinda guy to let things get on top of me. And things like this have been happening to me since I signed with the OAOAST. JOSIE Like when everyone found out you used to be a pornstar? LEON Exactly! Granted, nobody remembers that anymore. But... I don't know, I always had something to console myself with. Family, friends, fans, titles. It's just been relentless lately... Leon pauses for a second, then shakes it off. LEON Man, listen to me go on, huh? Hey, when I'm World Champion and $500,000 richer I'll be on easy street, so why even worry! Speaking of which... what's the deal with you and Moneymaker? Looking a little taken aback at the question and what it's implying, Josie sits up. JOSIE There is no 'deal' between me and Moneymaker. What are you talking about? LEON He was the one who backed you to get the job, right? JOSIE Yeah, so I heard. And? LEON Well, let's just say Moneymaker doesn't do anything unless it benefits him. Trust me, I know. If he went to bat for you, there's a reaso... JOSIE Maybe it's because he wanted a pretty face to look at while he bitched about this and that. Maybe if he spoke up for me it's because even despite the bullshit I had to put up with week in and week out last time, I still did a damn good job in charge of this place! I don't know. I barely know the guy. Listen, I appreciate the advice Leon but I ain't some bimbo with half a brain, like all these Nerdly girls you seem intent on working your way through. I'm the General Manager. On my own merits. Okay? And don't take this the wrong way, but as GM I don't really have the spare time to devote to listening to your personal problems all night like I used to, so maybe find 'refuge' here some other time when I'm not so busy please? I've gotta keep on top of things this time. Getting the message, Leon is up off his seat and halfway out the door. LEON No problem, we'll... we'll talk some other time. JOSIE I'd appreciate that. And with that Josie goes back to her General Manager work, leaving Leon to find his refuge elsewhere, after having run the gauntlet of people he doesn't want to bump into in the corridors of course. COACH The sign on the door says 'General Manager', not 'Agony Aunt'. Suckas take note. COLE Well Josie, proving it's not 2005 anymore. Leon will have to find some other time to shoot the breeze anyway, because he's got a Money In The Bank Tournament Quarter Final against Reject to concentrate on. And that's coming up in our main-event here tonight on HeldDOWN~! COACH Well, that'll be one less thing for him to stress about after tonight at least. COLE Right now, let's go backstage, where Josh Matthews is standing by with Sly Sommers and his protege, Cooper Riley... JOSH Thanks guys! I'm standing here with the miracle kid himself, Cooper Riley, and Sly Sommers, who has had a huge night and has a big match ahead of him at Angleslam... SLY Totally, bro. It's been a big week for both of us (looking at Cooper), eh? COOPER Absolutely, sir! But, I've been meaning to say something to you...I've been thinking and...I want to wrestle next week. SLY Well, good! You should be wrestling as often as possible to improve and learn! COOPER Yeah, yeah...Nathaniel Black doesn't have an opponent next week and I think I can take him! SLY WHAT?!?! Bro, bro...listen: last week was all grand and stuff, but we had to specially train for two weeks just to get you a flash win. You can't just wrestle guys as good as Phoenix and Black on that short of notice, not at the stage in the game that you are in. If you want to wrestle one of your little buddies from the school or something, I'll be more than happy to roll around with you at the school this weekend, maybe even get Zack or someone in to help too. But I can't give you permission or whatever to wrestle someone that good. Got it? COOPER Fine, fine. SLY Good. Now that that's out of the way...I don't really know if there's a way to train for the Devil's Playground match I'm having with Phoenix at Angleslam, where there's going to be a twenty-foot-high cell around the ring, barbed wire replacing the ropes, and lighttubes above the ring, but mentally, I'm ready to scar that bastard for life. No one screws with my trust like you did and take advantage of me when I wasn't prepared to fight. We're on equal ground now. I know how to evade your biggest weapon and our skill levels are at the highest of our careers. But, this ain't about skill. The only way to win this is to hurt the other guy so bad that he's incompacited and cannot walk out on his own two feet. I PROMISE I will hurt badly. I will bruise you, I will cut you, I will maim you. But of course, I expect you to bring that exact same fight to me. Josh, I know this could be the last match of both of our careers...and I'm ready to take that risk. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger...the issue with that is: I think one of us is going to die. (Sly walks away, Cooper stays behind) JOSH (Cooper pulls stapled-together papers out of his back pocket and a pen, starting to sign the papers) Cooper...what's that? COOPER (covers up the papers) Nothing, nothing...(zoom into a close-up on Cooper's face, shaking his head as he looks off into the distance) COLE What could've that have been he was signing? Well, regardless folks, we just want to let you know Mike Chioda is recovering from Moneymaker's attack earlier tonight, and will be available to referee tonight's mainevent between Leon Rodez and Reject! COMMERCIAL LATER TONIGHT SECOND ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH LEON RODEZ VS REJECT TONIGHT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 A video begins, in a locker room which is totally blacked out, with the exception of a dim light aimed on a muscular figure sitting on a bench with his back to the camera, which slowly moves in on him as the narrator speaks, cutting away only as mentioned below. Come on God, Answer Me. Footage of the man lifting weights, his face still not visible. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Footage of the man's hands, as he stares at them off camera. Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Footage of the man clenching his fists. Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Footage of Brock Ausstin pulverizing Felix Strutter with a clothesline. Or Have You Already Answered? Footage of Brock executing a belly-to-belly on Bohemoth. Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 to Alfdogg. Here.... Footage of Brock giving a roar in the ring, then back to the locker room, where the muscular man (Brock, obv.) turns his head and looks back into the camera. ...In Me." BROCK AUSSTIN RETURNS AngleSlam August 31st San Antonio, Texas Live on PPV *cut back to Sofa Central* COLE The OAOAST and its fans anxiously await the return of Brock Ausstin, who a few months ago suffered a serious shoulder injury that put him on the shelf, and there was the announcement, he will be back in some capacity at AngleSlam! COACH I'm kind of anxious to see that, Cole! The return of Brock Ausstin should definitely shake things up here in the OAOAST! COLE Well, speaking of Angleslam, we've got a match with Angleslam implications coming up here in Richmond! COMING UP NEXT TAG TITLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER'S MATCH D*LUX VS THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS NEXT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 (edited) The non stop energy of Another Love by the Mac Project serenades us over an outside view of the arena, whatever it is, I have no clue! When we return to the inside the red carpet is already rolled out. "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Molly Nerdly leads out the Beverly Hills Blonds, filming with the Siclopse. COLE Big match here, the winner of this one gets Thunderkid and Reject at AngleSlam for the belts! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with the winner earning a shot at the OAOAST World tag team titles at AngleSlam! Introducing first, being accompanied by Molly Nerdly...from Beverly Hills, California, at a combined weight of 460 pounds...representing The Enterprise, the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, the BEVERLYYYYYYY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS S BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! The Blonds climb into the ring, and Simon poses for the crowd, while Ned makes passes at some females sitting ringside. Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 hits, and the fans come to their feet for D*LUX, led out by Jade Rodez. BUFFER Their opponents...being accompanied to the ring by Jade Rodez-Duncan...from Detroit and Auburn Hills, Michigan, respectively, at a combined weight of 379 pounds...the team of SHAYNE BRAVE and TYLER BRYANT...DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE * LLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! COLE A tremendous matchup set to take place here on HeldDOWN~! The camera pans to the timekeepers' table, where Maggie Nerdly sits with a microphone. COLE And there is Maggie Nerdly, we understand she'll be giving an in-ring interview to the winner of the match! D*LUX plays to the crowd a bit, then both teams begin to talk out strategy. Shayne and Simon step out, as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Tyler and Ned circle the ring, and tie up. Both men jockey for position, then Tyler takes down Ned with an armdrag! COLE Nice armdrag there by Tyler Bryant! Ned gets to one knee and sizes up Tyler, then the two tie up again. This time, Ned is able to execute a nice hiptoss on Tyler! Ned celebrates his feat, to the boos of the crowd. COACH And a nice response from Ned! Tyler gets to his feet, and the two circle the ring once again, then tie up. Tyler grabs a side headlock, and Ned backs him into the ropes, then shoves him across. He drops down, then comes up and executes a leapfrog, then drops down for a reverse monkey flip, but Tyler stops and drops a fist to the face! COLE Ned going to the well once too often, and paying for it! Ned rolls to the outside, where Molly is there to check on him. Ned takes a rest, then rolls back in, as Tyler tags in Shayne. Ned and Shayne circle the ring, then tie up. Shayne gets a hold of the right arm and wrings it, but Ned quickly reverses. Shayne reverses again, and quickly bars the arm. Ned is able to back him into the ropes, and whips him across, then drops down, and tries to catch him for a slam, but Shayne drops behind, and lifts Ned for an atomic drop! COLE Atomic drop, coming up! Simon attempts to come in the ring, but when he does, Shayne completes the move, causing Ned and Simon to crash together! Simon rolls to the outside, while Shayne and Tyler hit a double-dropkick on Ned, causing him to follow! COLE D*LUX on a roll here early on! The Blonds regroup on the floor, and eventually Ned rolls back in, and ties up once again with Shayne. Ned backs him into the ropes, then breaks slowly, and delivers right hands, followed by a scoop slam in mid-ring, then tags in Simon. Simon comes in, but is surprised by a drop toe hold from Shayne! COLE Nice recovery from Shayne there after getting slammed to the mat! Simon gets to his feet, but gets caught in an armdrag! Simon starts to get back to his feet, but drops back down when he sees Shayne there with his fist clenched. Slowly, he gets back to his feet, then challenges Shayne to a test of strength. Shayne slowly moves in and locks knuckles. COACH Test of strength, and I've gotta think Simon's got the edge here, Cole! COLE Simon with a decided weight and leverage advantage over Shayne Brave, so you'd have to assume that, yes. Both men struggle against each other, then bring the hands up, and Shayne is ultimately forced down to one knee. Simon looks proud of himself, as he continues to force Shayne down with the wrists. However, as the crowd gets behind Shayne, his hands start to shake, and he begins to force his way up! COLE But look at Shayne fight back! Shayne gets to his feet, then kicks Simon in the midsection, before sliding underneath him and catching Ned with a shot to the gut as he comes in the ring! Ned rolls to the floor as Tyler dropkicks Simon to the floor, then D*LUX executes STEREO SUICIDE DIVES~! COLE FLYING WITHOUT WINGS from D*LUX~! D*LUX fires off rights, then toss the Blonds back inside. They grab Simon and execute the COWELL MOVEMENT~!, then execute a DOUBLE SUPERKICK~! on Ned, sending both right back to the floor! COLE HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME~!, and the Blonds had better get it together! COACH This is not looking good right now, Cole! Tyler stands in the ring and awaits one of the Blonds, which after some stalling on their part, ends up being Simon. The two tie up, and Simon backs Tyler into the ropes, then fires off rights, followed by a knee to the gut, then tags in Ned. However, Ned gets caught in an armdrag! COLE Just when the Blonds start to get in rhythm, they get caught by surprise! Shayne holds onto the arm, and tags Tyler back in. The two whip Ned into the ropes, and drop him with a double back elbow! Shayne goes to pick up Ned, but gets caught with a shot to the gut, followed by blows to the back. Ned tags Simon back in, and Simon delivers right hands. Shayne fights back with rights of his own, then backs into the ropes, where Molly grabs his foot! COLE And look at this, Molly from the outside! Shayne jumps out and goes after Molly, who leads him in a chase around the ring, until suddenly Ned, who had ducked down below the apron out of sight, pops up with a clothesline! COLE And now Ned, what a cheap shot that was! That was set up beautifully by the Blonds and Molly! Ned picks up Shayne, and delivers a scoop slam on the floor! COLE And now a slam on the outside! Ned then picks up Shayne and rolls him back in, where Simon, who was distracting the referee, covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Simon then chokes away on Shayne, before tagging in Ned. Ned drapes Shayne over the top rope, then lifts him up by the legs, as Simon leaps over the top of him and comes crashing down onto Shayne! COLE Classic double-team move from the Blonds! Ned hammers Shayne down to the mat, then backs him into the ropes and tags Simon back in. Simon grabs Shayne and whips him across, catching him with a drop toe hold, as Ned comes flying in with an elbow to the back of the head! COACH And now it's the Blonds that are starting to get things cooking, Cole! They may be going to AngleSlam! Simon covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But don't count out Shayne and Tyler yet! Simon picks up Shayne, and executes a hanging vertical suplex! COACH A few more moves like that, and you can! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Simon tags Ned back in, and Ned whips Shayne across, catching him with a powerslam! Ned stops briefly to gloat, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Ned questions the referee, then nails Tyler on the apron, drawing him into the ring, before tossing Shayne to the outside. While outside, Simon scoops up Shayne and drops him across the guardrail! COLE And Simon continuing the assault on the outside! Simon jaws with some fans, then picks up Shayne, and attempts to ram him into the post. However, Shayne blocks, and it's Simon who's head meets the post! COLE Nice block by Shayne on the outside! However, as Shayne rolls back in, he gets caught with an elbowdrop from Ned! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Ned whips Shayne into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Shayne executes a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Ned quickly takes down Shayne and chokes away, breaking at the referee's four-count. He then picks him up and delivers right hands...which Shayne returns! COLE And look at Shayne continue to fight back! Shayne backs into the ropes and charges Ned...who catches him with the STUN GUN~!!!!!11111 COLE Ned got the Stun Gun! 1... 2... NO! Tyler makes the save! COACH Come on, ref! COLE This match could have been over right there, but Tyler in there to save his partner! Ned tags Simon, who climbs to the top rope, as Ned tosses him off for the ROCKET LAUNCHER~!!!...but Shayne gets his knees up! COLE Shayne getting the knees up! Ned tries to drop an elbow on Shayne, but Shayne rolls out of the way and tags in Tyler! COLE And the tag is made! Tyler comes in a HOUSE AFIRE~!, nailing both Blonds with right hands! He then executes a scoop slam to Ned, followed by a dropkick to Simon! He knocks Ned out of the ring, then backs Simon into the corner, setting up an Irish whip, but Simon reverses, then charges. He goes for a shoulderblock, but Tyler lifts his legs up, then rolls down with a sunset flip! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Simon drills Tyler with a double axhandle, then sets up an Irish whip of his own, but this time it's Tyler who reverses. Simon grabs the ropes and slings himself over the top of Tyler as he charges, but Tyler quickly turns around, and catches him with the MERRY TYLER GORE SHOW~!!!!!11111 COLE HE GOT IT~! This is it! 1... 2... NO!!! Ned makes the save! COLE Wow, if not for Ned, this would be over! Shayne comes flying into the picture, delivering right hands to Ned, as Tyler continues to assault Simon on the mat. COACH The referee is losing it here, Cole! The referee goes over to Tyler, but gets shoved away for his efforts. He then makes his way to the corner, and gets the same treatment from Ned. He approaches the corner once again, and in the heat of the moment, takes a double headbutt from Ned and Shayne! COLE Oh, this one's WAY out of control! The referee, groggy, signals for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And it looks like he's thrown this one out! COACH But what about the title shot? BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the referee has disqualified BOTH TEAMS, ruling this bout a double-disqualification! Molly slides a chair in to Simon, who grabs it and swings it upward, drilling Tyler with it! Ned then spins himself around in order to expose Shayne's back, for another shot from Simon! COLE And D*LUX assaulted with those steel chairs! COACH Well, which team's standing, Cole? It's obvious to me which team's deserving of the title shot! COLE But they didn't win the match, Coach! The result was a double-disqualification! Simon then turns and sees Maggie, who has entered the ring for her interview, and clutches the chair with evil intentions, as Maggie backs into a corner. COLE Oh, come on, you guys, don't do this! Ned has Maggie totally backed into the corner, when the camera cuts to the aisle to show REJECT, attired in black dress pants and a long-sleeved lavender dress shirt, racing to the ring! COACH Look at this! Reject slides in, then grabs the chair from Simon and cracks him over the head! Ned then turns and sees Reject, and charges him for a clothesline, but Reject ducks, drops the chair, and catches Ned with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 Reject stares at the fallen Ned, before Simon manages to grab his foot and pull him to safety. Reject leans against the ropes and stares them down as they retreat up the aisle. COLE Wow..I never thought I'd say this, Coach, but thank God for Reject! Reject looks over at Maggie, then walks up and puts his hands on her arms, asking her if she's okay, to which she nods approvingly. The crowd then starts to cheer, as LEON RODEZ runs to the ring! COLE And here comes Leon! COACH Yeah, a little late, don't ya think? Leon slides in and grabs the chair, then blasts Reject over the head with it as he turns around! COACH Wait a minute! COLE Big chairshot from Leon Rodez to his opponent tonight, Reject! COACH Now why would he do that? He should be thankful that Reject was there to save his girl! COLE I don't know what to make of this triangle that's been going on lately, Coach, I just don't. Leon ushers Maggie out of the ring, and the two leave the ring area, as Reject lays on the mat, looking between the bottom and middle rope at them as they leave. However, Maggie can't help but take a couple concerned looks back towards the ring at him. COACH Well, I think we saw right here who the better man for Maggie would be! And it's that man right there, the R-Man! COLE Your opinion only, Coach! Folks, we'll be back after this! Cut backstage, where Reject walks into Josie's office, holding his head. JOSIE Reject, hello! What can I do you for? REJECT Did you see what that chump Rodez just did to me out there? I go out and save "his" girl, and that's the thanks I get? JOSIE Well...what do you plan to do about it? REJECT I'll tell you exactly what I plan to do about it. Reject pulls out his golden envelope, and lays it on Josie's desk. REJECT I'm going to put him away tonight, once and for all. With my favor, I want to make my Money in the Bank tournament match with Leon tonight...NO HOLDS BARRED. *crowd cheers* JOSIE OK, just sign here on the ticket... Reject signs the back of the ticket without hesitation. JOSIE OK then, that makes it official. Tonight's Money in the Bank tournament match between you, Reject, and Leon Rodez, will be contested with No Holds Barred! *crowd cheers* JOSIE Good luck! REJECT Thanks a lot, but it's not me that's going to need luck. Leon's going to need that luck, and more. Reject leaves the office, where Thunderkid waits for him, and they start to walk down the hall. TK So what happens with us now? The winner of that match was supposed to face us at AngleSlam for the belts. REJECT Who knows. Maybe since there wasn't a winner, we'll get the night off, and can spend the night on the Riverwalk. Reject and TK then stop, as the Beverly Hills Blonds confront them, with Ned getting into the face of Reject. NED Who the hell do you think you are, coming out and getting involved in our affairs? REJECT When I see a man stalking a woman into a corner with a steel chair and a hard-on, I figure he's probably not out collecting for the Red Cross. NED Oh, funny guy, huh? Well, while we're referencing Clint Eastwood, you better feel lucky that match got thrown out, punk. We should be on our way to AngleSlam to take on the two of you for those belts! REJECT You know, you're right. You should be on your way there, because you two should have enough stones to beat two little bubblegum pop punks like D*LUX. But you couldn't even do that. So you should be lucky that you don't have to step in the ring with us. NED We don't have to step in the ring. There's no one separating us right now! At that point, Ned backs off a bit, as Alfdogg walks into camera view on the left side of Reject, with Sandman walking in on the far side right of Thunderkid, brandishing a barbed wire bat. ALF We got a problem here? SIMON You damn right we do. ALF Oh, so he talks. For a minute there I thought a cat cut your tongue. SIMON (fist clinched) MAN (off-screen) ALFFFFFFFF!!! Heads turn as Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker graces the group with his presence, beet red and sweating profusely. And where the Billion Dollar Heir goes so too does CPA, who keeps a close eye on Sandman and his barbed wire bat. Also present: Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo. ALF Jesus, Teddy, you don’t look too good. If you’re not more careful you might wind up in a hospital bed next to your buddy Kelsey Grammer. That draws a laugh from the World tag team champions, not Moneymaker and the Blonds though. THEODORE Somehow I doubt you’re interested in my well-being, seeing as how the Deadly Alliance would be able to swoop right in and seize power if my Enterprise were to be taken out of the picture. I’m sure that has a little bit to do with your boys sticking their noses where it didn’t belong, costing Simon and Ned a shot at the titles at Angleslam. And I don’t blame you at all. They are 3 time tag team champions, after all. One more reign and they tie the record…and nobody likes being on the other side of those. ALF (sniffles) Is that your cologne I smell or that of paranoia in the air? We didn’t cost the Blonds anything. Unlike Reject and TK, your guys couldn’t get the job done. Too much time partying with pseudo-celebs if you ask me. As you've found out in the past, you can't buy titles...you gotta win them. That's why the Deadly Alliance holds the gold and the Enterprise blows smoke, making us, as I've always said, the premier organization in the OAOAST. We know what taking care of business is all about. THEODORE You’re starting to wear real thin on me, Alfdogg. I don’t think you quite understand how big a thorn on your side the Enterprise can be. CPA steps forward, cracking his knuckles. ALF A threat, huh? THEODORE No, just a friendly reminder. ALF Well, in that case, allow me to remind you of something as well...friend. Sandman points the barbed wire bat at CPA, leading to a standoff between the Enterprise and Deadly Alliance. Even Mackenzie DeCenzo is ready to fight, arming herself with a can of hairspray. THEODORE (chuckles nervously) Why, this is no way for gentlemen to act in front of a lady. I say we let our esteem new General Manager work out the situation. She was hired to make the tough decisions, right? I think we know where everybody stands after this very productive face to face meeting. Alf nods, then signals for his alliance to move out, but they do so cautiously. Reject locking eyes with Mackenzie in passing. REJECT Girl, please. I’m a one woman man! MACKENZIE Speak to the hand gestures Mackenzie. TK amused by his partner’s words. Moneymaker’s demeanor changes once the Deadly Alliance is out of view. One that says it’s war. THEODORE COLE (O.S.) First La Cucaracha International and now The Deadly Alliance, Theodore Moneymaker making enemies with two very powerful groups in the OAOAST! We fade out from Moneymaker's snarling visage and into... COMMERCIAL Edited August 1, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to by.... We see MARV and MEL hanging out backstage with posters of the movie Pineapple Express on the wall MARV Hey, everybody, its uh..uh.. MEL MARV and MEL. MARV Yeaaah, MARV and MEL. Awesome. Very awesome. The Christ Air Express with a message, for the people. MEL No, dude, its not a message, its an important message. Uh, there's this movie comin out called the Pineapple Express. Its got the dude from spideman and shit, not that the dude in black suit, or the sandy dude, or the dude with the funky ass arms, but the goblin dude, not the old dude, but the young goblin dude, and the fat dude from Superbad. And its got explosions and shit, man, and guns and crap, and no less an authority than rolling stone called it the greatest stoner movie ever. But, if that were true we would be in it, because we're the greatest stoners ever. The editorial pages of High Times do not lie. So, what we're asking you to do, is go to www.petitiononline.com/pecace and sign a petition to get Hollywood to remake the flick with me and my good bro in the lead roles. MARV Right on. And for everyone who lays their signature down, depending on the amount of cops in your neighboorhood and if your parents are home or not, we'll come smoke out with you. Sign the petition and go see Pineapple Express in theatres August 6th and think how awesome we'd be in that flick! (Cut to Double C at Sofa Central.) COLE Fans, last week at the Big Apple Spectacular, we saw the end of the career of-- COACH --the career of the greatest superstar never to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Vitamin X suffered a great indignity last week, being retired at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Coach, Vitamin X DID make the stipulations himself. COACH So? He still suffered a great indignity! He still did! STILL did! It was a horrible tragedy what occurred last week. The One And Only AngleSault Thread just lost one of its best! The OAOAST will never be the same without the presence of Vitamin X! COLE Yeah, you’re right. It’s gotten even better! COACH Hush, white boy! You know what? I can’t stand it any longer! I can’t stay quiet while injustice after injustice takes place in front of my own two eyes! I gotta speak up! I gotta stand up for what I believe in! I gotta speak my mind! And I’m gonna do it, right here! Right now! COLE What? COACH I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna say what’s on my mind LIVE in front of all of these people! I’m gonna do it right this second! COLE Coach…what are you doing? COACH I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. Coach puts down his headset on top of the announce table. He stands up out of his seat while Michael Cole looks on, confused. COLE Coach… Coach grabs the microphone closest to him on the announce table. COACH Excuse me, excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to say. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Now, ever since AngleMania VII, we have been FORCED to endure, night after night, Tha Puerto Rican holding the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship like he’s the only man on the planet capable of doing so! Well I say that’s BULLSH(Bleep)! Because there WAS someone else on this planet capable of holding that Title, and his name was Vitamin X! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Coach ignores the boos. COACH Unfortunately, Vitamin X will never be able to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion because last week in Central Park on the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X had his career ended by Tha Puerto Rican! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Coach sneers at the fans. COLE Oh, Coach… COACH Not now, Michael! Now, in honor of this tragic event, I ask all of you to please bow your heads for a moment of silence in memoriam (“BOOOOOOOOO!”) to the best professional wrestler never to wear the 10 pounds of gold. Better than “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, better than Dynamite Kid, better than Buff Bagwell. (“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!“) There was only one X-Man, and his name was Vitamin X! Everybody bow your heads now! DO IT! DO IT NOW! DON’T MAKE ME ASK YOU AGAIN! COLE Coach, come on. Coach looks around the arena. COACH BOW YOUR HEADS DAMNIT! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS! The boos get louder. Coach bows his head and takes a moment of silence. All of the fans in attendance refuse to follow suit and instead honor Vitamin X by booing as loud as they can. Michael Cole just sits in his seat and shakes his head. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* Coach becomes agitated by the chant. COACH DAMNIT! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION! DO AS I SAY! BOW YOUR HEADS NOW! Coach goes back to bowing his head for his moment of silence. The crowd goes back to booing loudly. Cole goes back to doing this: But Coach ignores Cole’s face palm to continue his one-man moment of silence for someone the audience clearly despises. Until… “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He is interrupted by “Know Your Role 2000”! A lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and the crowd explodes with cheers. Coach stops his moment of silence and looks up in fear. COLE Uh-oh. Coach, it looks like someone didn’t want to have a moment of silence for Vitamin X! The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all. The crowd cheers louder than before. COLE That ain’t no mirage! The Champ truly IS HERE! Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, in addition to sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a white dress shirt with a black tie, a black sports jacket, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. PRL is carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as he walks down the entrance ramp. Coach just stands in place, frozen in fear. COLE We don’t have P.R. scheduled for a match here tonight, so it looks like he is making his way over here, Coach! COACH … Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans. He then power walks around the ringside area. Tha Puerto Rican grabs a microphone from the timekeeper’s table and then walks on over to Sofa Central. COLE He IS coming this way after all! PRL stops at Sofa Central. He looks directly at Coach. Coach starts sweating bullets, as he makes eye contact with Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he measures up Jonathan Coachman. Michael Cole just sits and watches all of this, trying to hide his smile. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay. Cut it. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL continues staring at Coach. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican “smells the electricity”. He then goes back to staring at Coach. THA PUERTO RICAN So, it seems like someone on the OAOAST announce team has a little grudge against me! A little bias against me! And it was apparently made worst by me retiring Vitamin X’s roody poo-- CROWD --CANDY ASS! THA PUERTO RICAN --last Thursday night on the Big Apple Spectacular! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Now, see, P.R., P.R., P.R…you…you…you--you did a bad thing last Thursday. A very bad thing! Vitamin X wasn’t even in his prime yet! And yet, last Thursday, YOU ended his career! YOU retired him! YOU made him the laughingstock of the OAOAST! YOU did it! YOU! YOU! YOU! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican does The People’s Eyebrow. THA PUERTO RICAN Um Coach, Vitamin X made the match himself! That was all his doing! HE made the match for the Title, HE made the match a Steel Cage Match, and HE put his OWN career on the line! If anyone is to be blamed for Vitamin X no longer being a wrestler in this company…well, I’d have to put the blame solely on Vitamin X! Vitamin X is the reason Vitamin X is the laughingstock of the OAOAST! COACH But couldn’t you have like…lie down for him or something? THA PUERTO RICAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Coach, in case you haven’t gotten the message yet: Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t lay down for NOBODY! ESPECIALLY former coattail-riders-turn-ungrateful sumbitches! The crowd cheers loudly. Another “P.R.!” chant breaks out. PRL “smells the electricity” again. The camera cuts to several PRL signs in the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN Coach, what happened? You and I, we used to be tight, yo! What happened, man? You flaked out on me! That’s cold, dude. Cold-blooded! COACH I’ll tell you what happened, Puerto. You became soft! You became weak minded. Instead of listening to yourself, you listened to these people, your so-called ’Lightning Bolts’! Every action you take is based on what these people want! WHO GIVES A DAMN WHAT THESE PEOPLE WANT!? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH The REAL PRL wouldn’t give a damn! The REAL PRL would lay the smackdown on anybody that got in his way with a smile on his face! The REAL PRL would run an old lady over and then throw paint on a five-year-old! The REAL PRL would spit on The Mad Cappa before he would ever shake his hand! He would spit on Colombian Heat too, while we’re at it! The REAL PRL would lead his Lightning Crew to the Promised Land, all the while raking in title belts and ruling as World Heavyweight Champion in peace! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican thinks about what Coach just said. He puts his right hand on his chin to signify that he is thinking about what Coach just said. PRL has a serious look on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Hmmm…nope…that’s not what the REAL PRL would do! The crowd cheers! THA PUERTO RICAN The REAL PRL, as you like to say Coach, gives a damn about his fans! The REAL PRL thinks about others before he does stuff! The REAL PRL respects The Mad Cappa and thinks Colombian Heat is the best friend a guy could ever have! And the REAL PRL doesn’t need a bunch of no talent, brainless, easily led ass kissers following him every step he takes! Oh, and Coach, The REAL PRL DOES lay the smackdown on anybody that gets in my way with a smile on his face and incase you have forgotten, I am a 3-time Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion, former X-Division Champion, former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion, former North American Champion, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, and oh yeah… Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his left hand. The crowd cheers. THA PUERTO RICAN ...THE REIGNING ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL So, as you can clearly see, I am doing quite well for myself. This IS the REAL PRL you are seeing! That PRL you were watching since I came into this company wasn’t really me! I thought it was, but it wasn’t. But now, I know for sure, that this is the REAL PRL! And the REAL PRL couldn’t be any happier than he is right now! COACH Oh cut the crap, P.R.! You are so weak, I bet that *I* could beat you in a match! THA PUERTO RICAN Then…why don’t you try to? The crowd cheers. Coach is shocked. COACH W--wh--what? THA PUERTO RICAN You say that you could beat me…so why not try to? The crowd cheers again. THA PUERTO RICAN It sounds like you wanna fight me in the ring in a match! And it sounds like you wanna fight me in the ring in a match RIGHT HERE IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA! (CHEAP POP~!) COACH WHAT!? No! No! It’s--well--I don’t have my gear with me! I’m in a shirt and khakis! THA PUERTO RICAN Just fight with that then. It’s not like you have anything worth showing off, you jabroni! COACH But--tonight--here? Live!? On HELDDOWN~!? THA PUERTO RICAN Yes, Coach. You catch on pretty quick! Coach, you have been riding my back ever since The Lightning Crew turned on me, and it has gotten on my last nerve! 9 months of annoyance ends tonight! Tonight, I would love to have the opportunity to stick my size 10 boot right up your bald headed candy ass! So, what do you say? COACH I--uh--err--umm---err--YOU’RE ON! Coach immediately mouths, “What the hell did I just say!?” to Michael Cole, who just shakes his head and tries to hold back his laughter. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has a satisfied grin on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Then it’s settled. See you later in the ring, Coach. Oh and by the way: watch out for the lightning strikes, because you, Coach, are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare! And that’s the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…HAS…SPO-KUN~!!! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing again. Tha Puerto Rican drops the microphone onto the ground and stares at Coach. The crowd cheers. Coach looks up at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL mouths, “You. Me. Tonight.” and then does a cutthroat hand gesture. PRL points a menacing finger at Coach, and then raises his right fist into the air to a loud pop from the crowd. PRL walks back up the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE Well, Coach…you brought this onto yourself. COACH Tonight? Tonight? I--I’m--I’m wrestling…tonight!? Here!? TONIGHT!? TONIGHT!? TONIGHT!? COLE Yes. Yes, you are, Coach. Tha Puerto Rican vs. Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman coming up later tonight here on HeldDOWN~! COACH T--tonight!? Tonight!? Really!? Tonight!? COLE Yes, Coach. You asked for it, and you got it! COACH I DIDN’T ASK FOR NOTHING! PRL TRICKED ME! HE TRICKED ME! I KNOW THAT HE DID! HE USED SOME JEDI MIND TRICK! I KNOW THAT HE DID! I KNOW IT! OH GOD! I’M GONNA WRESTLE TONIGHT! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I’M GONNA DIE! OH GOD! COLE While Coach cries over his inevitable death, we’ll take a break. Fans, stay with us, we’ll be right back right after this! Coach is a blubbery mess right now, crying his eyes out knowing the fate that awaits him later tonight. Michael Cole tries, unsuccessfully, to comfort Coach. Tha Puerto Rican has already left through the entrance doors, but “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Cole comforting Coach is the last image we see before we head to a commercial break. FADE OUT COMMERCIALS Edited August 1, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 (edited) The spirted emotional trance track Every Word by Ercola plays as we see the statue of tennis legend Arthur Ashe on Monument Avenue. Yo, zack, download the song ASAP! We see HeldDOWN's sometimes loved, sometimes maligned general manager taking time out from her busy schedule of managing this zoo to look over the cover of the School's Out DVD. Near the doorway, stands the intimidating Compton PD to guard against unwanted visitors. One of which happens to be the bubbly Alix Maria Spezia, attired in short jean shorts and a purple polo shirt, the Hollywood Bad Girl bursts through the doorway. She there's to see Josie, but her attention is caught by her fellow Los Angeles natives. ALIX Oh my god, black people! Awesome! 9-MILL The hell is going on here? ALIX I just wanna like say, that even though I grew up in the burbs, I am so down with the hood. I mean, like, I know I swiped some cash, a couple of pennies, or maybe it was twenties out the united negro college fund jar at the dodger game, but, like there was this awesome outfit at Too Cute, and I coulda stolen it, but then there's three strikes law. I juist had to get it. And you don't even need school anyway. You have basketball, and football, and rap music. And The Parkers, and oh they took that off the air. But the other three are more than enough for you. And I really needed something to match my headband. (Alix points to a purple and black floral pattern headband) Cute, huh. Yeah, I know I'm fly as hell. Alix quickly turns away from the PD, leaving them mystified as to whether they've been insulted or praised or both. She slides herself onto Josie's desk, knocking over several very important papers. Does she care? Not in the slightest, as she's become preoccupied with an OAOAST logo snow globe. JOSIE What are you in here for, Alix? Stunned, Alix drops her fascinating snow globe and glares at Joise. ALIX Anglesault! Time to die motherfu....Well, hello, dolly! Anglesault, when did you become vagilicious? I know I prefer taco to hot dog, but's how's about you put a little relish on my bun, and I...uh..hmm...hey, forget dinner lets just have sex! Joise looks to the PD, who just shrug their shoulders as they don't know what to say. JOSIE I am not Anglesault. ALIX Dude, you gotta love yourself, before other's can love you. JOSIE Anglesault was fired weeks ago. ALIX Shirley, you zest! JOSIE Its jest... ALIX Yeah, you don't smell like you use soap. Josie squeezes her DVD case. Tightly. JOSIE And my name isn't Shirley, its Josie. ALIX Oooooooooh. It all makes so much sense now. No it doesn't, where's the bald fatty? JOSIE Look here, Anglesault got the ax because he's a moron. He's a moron that caught trying to get with a hooker on camera. He solicted a prostitute over the internet, went to meet her, was busted by The Enterprise and the police, then ran from the cops, attacked at least three officers, and was only finally subdued when Detective Bosley ran him over at top speed. ALIX Woah, really? HAHAHAHAAH! That's so great! Oh, dude, you have taken humor's razor sharp blade and hath splitith my side, bravo to you! Bravo! LOL times a million. Sometimes you think, man, I should just come into work, and start shooting up everyone, starting with the liberals and non whites, and then you hear something like this and ya wonder why ya even bought the AK47 and bombs off Abdullah anyway. Oh, Jill, you are the man! JOSIE My name is Josie. ALIX I like Jill better! Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, crap, I forgot what happened at the end. JOSIE Jill came tumbling after! ALIX Ooooooh. Wowie-wow! What a plot a twist! So, I guess this awesome lil job is like the settlement or whatev the company gave ya so you don't sell stories about AS' kinky sock fetish to TruTV. Nice! JOSIE Wha...wha..what? Did you just allege that I'm some sort of street walking hooker? ALIX You're a hoe, I'm a Clippers fan. Be in l-u-v with our strengths and our faults! Its one love, Josiecakes. JOSIE WHY ARE YOU IN MY OFFICE?! ALIX I dunno. JOSIE WHAT? ALIX Wait, wait, I'll think of something. Oh, cool, got it! And Krista said eating paint would destroy my braincells...Hey' you're not Anglesault! JOSIE Grrrrr. ALIX Joking with ya. Well, like, and don't like get all BUTT hurt or nothin, because your high temper is already a sign of chronic constipation, but, like, you kinda suck at your job, and you should like quit. Or get better, maybe. But, yeah, quitting would be cool. No pressure, but I have dynamite strapped to Faqu's chest and if you haven't cleared out your things in three minutes we're all gonna be feasting on well done samoan hamburgers. JOSIE I can't believe I have to deal with this. Shouldn't you be back in LA talking to some airheaded reporter about your music "career", or sitting at the pool, doing nothing but wasting your girlfriend's money? ALIX Oh no, the pool gets cleaned on Thursday. I couldn't find a lesbian pool cleaner that looked like salma hayek so I just hang out here. JOSIE How can you complain about how I'm doing my job? You didn't even know I was GM until I told you. ALIX I don't need logic and evidence to make a judgment, I have bias and racism to guide me. And you suck! You really suck. Why'd you let The Enterprise out there to mess with Krista, huh? That wasn't cool at all how CPA ran out there and attacked her. JOSIE Oh, I get it, you're upset because of your girlfriend. ALIX Uh-uh, future ex-wife. She's gotta propose to me soon! She's gotta, she's gotta, she's gotta. I already sold footage of the wedding to In Touch magazine, and footage of the honeymoon boom-chick-a-wow-wow to my dad's prison buddies for a carton of Virginia slims, and a back issue of Juggs. JOSIE I suppose I can understand that. Caring for a loved one. But CPA was only a small problem for her, she won the match in the end. So what's the problem exactly? No harm, no foul. ALIX The problem is you can't just let them do whatever they want. Well, they're rich, republican, and protestants, so tradition says ya kinda can. But, you're already letting them get away with murder! What about that poor referee Moneymaker just went all Naomi Campbell on? You're not gonna do anything about that are ya? People like him, Tim Cash, or MARV and MEL aren't always gonna find a way to beat off Moneymaker, no hetero, so you gotta take a stand, and I know ya won't because Moneymaker hooked ya up with this job or whatever. And that really sucks, because they don't have any limits. Once you let them run wild, you've allowed them to take away someone very special to all of us...Dom. JOSIE Dom? ALIX Like, all I ask is that ya free dom. Free. Dom. Free dom. Freedom. FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! Josie squeezes her DVD cover to the point that it cracks. JOSIE Get out. ALIX Very well. I can see you're intimidated by an intelligent black woman. Alix walks past the PD and daps them up. Much against their will. Very much in fact. As she walks out into the hallway, she sees Jade Rodez-Duncan hanging out near the door waiting to talk to her. Jade nervously approaches her. JADE Alix can I talk to you? ALIX Well ya are my future step daughter, so you can talk, but do I gotta listen? 'Cause that's really hard to care about other people's problems. JADE Its uh...pretty important. ALIX Okay-dokie, lemme here it. JADE Do you think I should keep going after Malaysia and the women's title? What's your honest opinion, because I've been thinking about it a lot. All the time. I took Mom's name, I dedicated the match to her, and when I finally got out there...I...I...it was horrible...I embarrassed myself. ALIX No ya didn't, silly girl! Embarrassing yourself, would be, like, I dunno, getting up to sing Lola at karoke night and your pants rip and you have a pee spot on your underwear. JADE I think this was worse. As bad as that example probably is, this was worse. I'm still having nightmares. I embarrassed Mom also, didn't I? I know I had to. I hear what people around here say. ALIX No way, Jadeycakes! No way at all. The real dope thing about your mom is you can do all kinds of, like, sucky things and she'll still love ya. You can get up at her cousin's batmitzvah and sing Lola, and have your pants rip and have a pee spot on your underwear and she'll still go down on you during the Torah blessings. JADE No, no, this is different. I really screwed up, and am I just gonna screw up more? If I fight Malaysia again, and I get beat as bad as before, what then. What's Mom going to think? How will Maya react, knowing her big sister is some lame weakling? What are people gonna say about me, Al? ALIX Jade, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, and stuff, so, like, you know, you gotta be, like, she hulk after that thing with Malaysia! JADE Melody said the results of a She Hulk versus Malaysia fight are inconclusive at this current moment. ALIX Oh poopie! Jade, I don't care, what you say, or Melody's crazy ass superhero versus wrestler machine says either! You were totally born to win that title or my name isn't ESPN's Chris Mortensen. My name is not ESPN's Chris Mortensen, but you're still gonna win. You're still a Duncan, you're still a Rodez, and those are two names that fall under the win column a crazy amount of times around here! And you've got a big heart, and that can be a serious medical condition so get that checked out, but its also gonna help ya beat Malaysia who ain't got a heart! She's, like, got nothing to fight for, and you do! You were born to win that title, and I was born to steal it from you and trade it on craigslist to some dude for part of Jodie Foster's bra strap. JADE Thanks Alix. Hey, I have to go console D*LUX before they write a creepy song about their draw. SHAYNE (singing off screen) I got a tie, and a tie is like kissing your sistah, worse if ya sistah was a mistah, but I'd kiss my sistah if she was Krista, woooah, I'd kiss my sistah if she was Krista, hell yes, I'd kiss my sistah if she was Krista! Oh Krista if you were my sistah I'd french kiss ya! JADE Too late. Fade out on Jade plugging her ears and heading towards her singing tag team. COACH Normally, I'd have some smart aleck remark about what we just saw...but I feel the Grim Reaper is on my ass, so I'm not in the mood to joke. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Tha Puerto Rican is shown WALKING~! The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. He has a serious expression on his face. COLE Oh yeah, Coach. Coming up next is YOUR match! (Cut to Sofa Central.) COACH W--wh--what!? Now!? As in up now!? COLE Yes, Coach. Your match is up next! COACH R--re--really!? COLE Yes, Coach. COACH Really? COLE Yes, Coach. COACH Really? COLE YES, COACH! COACH ...Do I have to? COLE You agreed to the match! You made your bed, now lie in it! COACH Oh, oh, oh! OH GOD! OH MY GOD! COLE Time to go, Coach! COACH Oh boy. Oh...oh...oh... Coach removes his headset and puts it down on top of the announce table. Coach hesitates, but then stands up out of his seat. He looks at Cole, who motions for him to get into the ring. Coach shakes his head. Cole motions for him to get into the ring again. Coach groans, and then walks around the ringside area. "Hard Hittin'" by Homebwoi starts playing. Coach walks up the ring steps. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Wichita, Kansas. Weighing in at 235 lbs. He is the One And Only AngleSault Thread's lead colour commentator, JONATHAN "DA COACHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" COACHMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Coach looks back at Michael Cole, groans, and then enters the ring. Coach has a look of complete and utter fear on his face as he stands in the ring. COLE Da Coach about to wrestle for the first time in an OAOAST ring! What an interesting match this should be! Tha Puerto Rican set to go one-on-one with our very own Coach, coming up right after this break! Coach paces back and forth in the ring. He tells Cole, "I'm not a wrestler!" again and again. Coach is nervously shaking as "Hard Hittin'" by Homebwoi continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image that we see before we fade out. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL Edited August 5, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 (edited) We return to HeldDOWN~! with Da Coach already in the ring as “Hard Hittin‘” by Homebwoi plays over the P.A. system. He is pacing nervously in the ring as he awaits his match. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, you are not seeing things. Da Coach is in the ring, ready to compete against the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I am not kidding! The match is actually going to happen! Coach, wearing the HeldDOWN~! black Polo shirt, khaki pants with a leather belt, black dress shoes, his wedding ring on his right ring finger and a watch on his right wrist, bites his fingernails. COLE He brought this on himself. He has no one to blame for this but his big mouth! “Hard Hittin’” by Homebwoi dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for PRL’s entrance. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring and Da Coach. PRL has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist, but he quickly unstraps it and slings the belt over his left shoulder. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to this ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorrrrrllllllllllddddddddddddddddddddd…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd cheers louder than before. Coach looks on horrified as PRL continues his walk to the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican made the challenge. Coach accepted. And I think he may regret his decision in about, oh, 1 minute. Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. PRL goes over to Sofa Central and tells Michael Cole that he will hurt Jonathan Coachman really bad tonight. THA PUERTO RICAN I will lay the smackdown on Coach’s candy ass tonight! And you can bank on that! He is going down at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican! I will PULVERIZE him tonight! And that’s the truth, Ruth! COLE I hear ya, Champ! I hear ya! Go do your thing! Tha Puerto Rican climbs up the ring steps and gets onto the ring apron. He gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. PRL puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL grabs the OAOAST Championship belt and heads to a second turnbuckle where he raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a pop. PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle and walks over to the opposite turnbuckle corner, glancing over at Coach as he walks. Coach looks on as Tha Puerto Rican climbs the other second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the fans. COLE Tha Puerto Rican, STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, fresh off defeating Vitamin X last Thursday night on the Big Apple Spectacular ending his career which is the basis for this non-title match tonight! PRL smiles on the second turnbuckle, and then gets off of it. He then heads to a third second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL turns his head back to look at Coach, who is beyond terrified as this point. P.R. smirks. He then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the only second turnbuckle he hasn’t been on yet where he does same Rock pose again to a LOUD pop from the crowd. COLE I REALLY wouldn’t want to be Coach right now…more so than usual! The OAOAST Title belt by his side, P.R. turns his attention to Coach while on the second turnbuckle. Puerto then hops off of the second turnbuckle. He stares at Coach. The lights go back on inside of the arena. COLE First time ever, and probably the ONLY time we will ever see this match-up! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Da Coach coming up in just a few moments here on HeldDOWN~! Tha Puerto Rican removes his sunglasses and hands them over to a ringside attendant. He then removes the earring from his left ear and hands that over to the same ringside attendant. PRL then kisses the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and hands it over to referee Earl Hebner, who nods his head, and then hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt to the timekeeper, who walks with it and places it on top of the timekeeper’s table. Coach is shaking in another turnbuckle corner. COLE Well…he got himself into this mess. Let’s see if he can get himself out of it! Tha Puerto Rican jumps up and down in place in a turnbuckle corner. Earl Hebner pats down PRL. He goes over the rules with him. Earl Hebner then goes over and pats down the nervous Coach. The referee goes over the rules with Coach, who just nods, obviously not paying attention to what the referee is saying, and just staring at PRL. Earl Hebner tells both men the rules one more time, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* NON-TITLE MATCH THA PUERTO RICAN vs. JONATHAN “DA COACH” COACHMAN “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican stares at Coach. Coach does a big cartoonish gulp. COLE The bell has sound. The match is underway! The crowd already starts chanting, “P.R.!” PRL circles Coach, a serious expression on his face. COLE Coach seems hesitant to start this thing. PRL has his hands in the air, ready to lock up. But the moment he starts walking towards Coach, Coach puts his head out of the ring! Coach calls for a timeout. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Timeouts? Coach, come on! There’s no timeouts in wrestling! Coach begs PRL to stay away from him. PRL puts his hands on his hips and rolls his eyes. Coach continues stalling for time. “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* COLE These fans are just ITCHING for this match to truly get started! If Coach will ever get back into the ring! Coach continues begging for mercy. He starts to leave the ring…but is pulled by in by Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd cheers! COLE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Here we go! Coach screams! PRL smiles as he pulls Coach back into the ring and sets him up against the turnbuckle. After measuring Coach up, Tha Puerto Rican hits Coach with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And then another! And then another! COLE PRL with the first blows of the match! PRL continues hitting Coach with Rock punches. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Coach goes flying, and then falls onto the mat! And the crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican smiles, and then picks Coach up. COLE Coach, at the mercy of Tha Puerto Rican as this match gets underway! PRL taunts Coach, and points a menacing finger at him. P.R. then grabs Coach by his head and then runs with him towards a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! P.R. then drags Coach by his head over to the opposite turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad again! Puerto Rican then drags Coach over to another turnbuckle corner where he once again slams Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! PRL then drags Coach over to the fourth turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad for the fourth time! COLE Coach taken to all four corners on that exchange! Coach is already groggy. That doesn’t stop Tha Puerto Rican from grabbing Coachman by his right hand and then whipping him into the opposite ropes. Coach bounces off of the ropes, PRL leapfrogs over him, Coach bounces off of the opposite ropes, PRL does a reverse leapfrog over Coach, Coach bounces off of the ropes again, right into an arm-drag from Tha Puerto Rican! Coach gets up, dazed, and he gets hit with a dropkick from PRL! The crowd cheers! Jonathan Coachman rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. COLE PRL in complete control of Jonathan Coachman! Da Coach lands on his hands and knees on the protective mats. He is sucking wind. Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring and walks around ringside with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face. He spots Coach on his hands and knees, so he helps Da Coach up to his feet…and then lifts him up, dropping him chin-first on top of the barricade! Coach holds his chin in pain. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd and chuckles at Coach’s pain. COLE Oh Coach…you brought this on yourself. PRL picks Coach up, and then throws him back into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. PRL follows suit, entering the ring underneath the top ring rope. Once inside, Tha Puerto Rican attacks Coach with shaky leg kicks to the back! COLE Coach has had exactly ZERO offense in this match! ZERO! Zilp. Zitch. Zero. Nada. As the crowd cheers, PRL picks Coachman up. He taunts Jonathan Coachman some more, and then whips him into a turnbuckle corner. Coach hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! P.R. then rushes forward, jumping up and squashing Da Coach with the Stinger Splash! The crowd cheers. Coach’s eyes are glazed over. PRL whips Coach into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Coach once again hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! And PRL once again rushes forward, jumping up and squashing Coach with another Stinger Splash! COLE Two Stinger Splashes on Da Coach as this match just keeps getting even more worse for him! PRL grabs Da Coach by his left hand and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Coach bounces off of the ropes, PRL picks him up and gives him a Samoan Drop! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself, and the crowd applauds him too! COLE Vintage PRL! Tha Puerto Rican stands up. He then does a fist drop onto Jonathan Coachman’s head! He then stands up and does another fist drop onto Coach’s head. He then stands up and does a third, followed by a fourth, and a fifth. PRL then runs towards the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, runs forward, stops in his tracks, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops a fist onto Jonathan Coachman’s head! The Five Knuckle Shuffle! COLE Five Knuckle Shuffle on Jonathan Coachman! PR stops to pose for the fans, who cheer loudly. He then asks if the fans want him to beat Coach up more. “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN Welp, majority rules! Tha Puerto Rican picks Coachman up. PRL gives Coach a vertical suplex. He then rolls through and gives Da Coach another vertical suplex. Puerto then rolls through again, and lifts Coach up into the air for a third vertical suplex. He holds Coach in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd applauds PRL. To show off, PRL holds Coach in the air with one arm. COLE PRL treating Coach like his personal plaything in this match! Tha Puerto Rican does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture. P.R. then walks towards the ropes. Once there, P.R. drops Coach’s abdomen onto the top ring rope. Coach bounces off of the top ring rope and PRL completes the slingshot suplex, to complete The People’s Trifecta. Afterwards, P.R. sits up and applauds himself. The crowd applauds him too! COLE The People’s Trifecta on Da Coach! I can’t believe I actually said that! PRL covers Coach…but then changes his mind. COLE More punishment for Da Coach ahead! PRL picks Coach up. Coach is already out of it. Tha Puerto Rican cradles Coach up…and then DRILLS him into the mat with a DDT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican hits Coach with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! The crowd cheers PRL some more. PRL gets on top of Coach and hammers away at him. PRL then picks Coach up. LATIN SLAM! COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam on Da Coach! This has turned into a slaughter by Tha Puerto Rican! Clearly not finished yet, Tha Puerto Rican picks Coach up AGAIN. P.R.L. scoops Coach up, holding him up in the air for a few seconds. He then slams Coach down HARD onto the mat! Coach lets out a blood curling scream! Coach holds his back in pain on the mat. COLE Coach is actually the bigger man at 6'3" 235 lbs., but Tha Puerto Rican is treating him like the smaller man in this match-up! PRL looks at the crowd and nods his head. The crowd starts buzzing in anticipation of PR’s next move. COLE It looks like PRL is going to go up! Indeed, Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring and climbs the top rope. The crowd cheers. PRL stands hunched over on the top turnbuckle. COLE And it’s about to get worse for Coach. Tha Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad and then throws it into the crowd. He then slowly stands up straight on the top rope. PRL points down at Coach, and then takes a deep breath…before soaring off of the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air…and then connecting with his left elbow hitting Coach’s body! The crowd pops! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! The People’s Elbow Drop on Coach! And by God, Coach just can’t catch a break in this match! Tha Puerto Rican screams! He then gets back to his feet. After taunting Coach some more, he picks up the much despised OAOAST announcer and then taunts him again. PRL then grabs Coach by his left hand and then whips him into the ropes. SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Oh boy! The crowd comes alive! PRL stands up and jogs around the ring. He gets the crowd fired up big time! PRL then stands over Da Coach…and kicks his right arm onto his chest. The crowd cheers louder. COLE Here we go! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad, and then throws it into the crowd. PRL then does some weird hand signals. PRL then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Da Coach, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, makes a “You talk too much!” hand gesture, and then drops his right elbow right into Coach’s body! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow on Jonathan Coachman! Da Coach is out cold! Tha Puerto Rican gets on his hands and knees and taunts Coach. He then gives him a middle finger. PRL sneers at Coach as he stands up. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~!. THA PUERTO RICAN YOU WANT MORE!? CROWD YES! THA PUERTO RICAN OKAY! COLE And apparently, PRL is STILL not done yet! Coach’s eyes are shut. Tha Puerto Rican picks Coach up. He then taunts him as he backs Coach into the ropes. P.R. whips Coach into the ropes. Coach REVERSES-- COLE Whoa! --PRL bounces off of the ropes. Coach goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, and hits Coach with a flying forearm! Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE I sense more trouble for Coach coming up! PRL plays to the crowd some more. He then heads to a turnbuckle corner and starts stomping his right foot ala Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is ‘tuning up the band‘! Coach better look out! PRL continues stomping his foot. Coach starts to sit up. PRL motions for him to get back to his feet. Coach sits on the mat. COLE Oh Coach…Coach… The crowd is growing anxious. Coach turns to his side. He then gets to his right knee. Coach is breathing hard. COLE Oh boy. Coach is in trouble here. Coach pushes himself off of the mat. He is bent over. Coach slowly stands up. He shakes the cobwebs out, and then turns around-- --KA-POW~!!! --right into the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Jonathan Coachman! Coach lies on the mat spread-eagle. Tha Puerto Rican looks down at Coach and smirks. Tha Puerto Rican says something to Coach. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has absolutely DOMINATED Coach in this match-up! PRL continues talking trash to the knocked out Coach. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. “THAT’S IT!” The crowd cheers loudly! COLE And that’s the signal for the end! Tha Puerto Rican is looking to finish this match! I guess he’s grown bored rather quickly of beating up Coach. Tha Puerto Rican quickly gets into his predator stance. He stalks Coach, who has yet to actually move. COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be going for the P.R. Nightmare right here! PR motions for Coach to move his “candy ass”! Coach flails his arms around. THA PUERTO RICAN GET UP, YOU DUMBASS! Coach slowly sits up on the mat. He then falls back down onto the mat. PRL rolls his eyes. THA PUERTO RICAN GET…UP! Coach sits up. The crowd is getting more and more anxious by the second. Coach is on his hands and knees. Coach gets onto his left knee. COLE Oh boy. Coach…you brought this on yourself, ya yutz! Coach takes a deep breath, and then pushes himself off of the mat. PRL is nodding his head, greatly anticipating the finish. Coach is bent over. COLE Oh boy. Coach stands up straight, holding his jaw. Jonathan Coachman is a little woozy, standing on spaghetti legs. He stumbles, but maintains his balance. Coach is stunned, completely unaware of what’s behind him. That is until he turns around… COLE Look out, Coach! KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Jonathan Coachman! Da Coach is out! Coach has been given the P.R. Nightmare! Tha Puerto Rican quickly runs over and covers Jonathan Coachman, hooking his right leg. Earl Hebner makes the count. Tha Puerto Rican counts too, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:39) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Tha Puerto Rican beats Da Coach without breaking a sweat! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing again. Tha Puerto Rican sits on his knees and does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture! PRL raises his hands in victory while on his knees. BUFFER Here is your winner…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Earl Hebner raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory. PRL then stands up and looks down at the fallen Coach. He laughs. A lot. COLE Well, it finally happened. Coach stepped into an OAOAST ring…and proceeded to get annihilated! Truly, Tha Puerto Rican laid the smackdown on Coach here tonight in Richmond! Tha Puerto Rican mouths off to Coach some more. COLE And Tha Puerto Rican’s STILL isn’t done running his mouth yet! Coach continues lying in pain on the mat. Earl Hebner hands PRL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. Earl Hebner raises PRL’s hands in victory again. The crowd cheers loudly. “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE Tha Puerto Rican with another victory! He has been on a roll ever since School’s Out, not losing once in the past 3 months! Tha Puerto Rican smiles as he raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. *BAM!* Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican is attacked from behind by ROCK HARD BRICKSTON!!! COLE Hey! What--what--what the hell!? “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. Rock Hard Brickston stomps on Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd is in shock! PRL, who has dropped the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt onto the mat, is at the mercy of his former proteage, who lays into PRL with his right foot! COLE Rock Hard Brickston is beating on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Jonathan Coachman is slowly rolling out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Meanwhile, Earl Hebner calls for the bell, but Rock Hard Brickston isn’t paying attention. Brickston gets on top of Tha Puerto Rican and hammers him in the face! COLE Rock Hard Brickston--we haven’t seen him since AngleMania VII! But he’s made his return, and he has picked up right where he left off! Rock Hard Brickston stops beating on PRL. But that’s only so that he can turn his attention to Earl Hebner. Rock Hard Brickston smiles evilly as the referee scolds him. Rock Hard Brickston grabs the Senior Referee of the OAOAST and then throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Oh my! Rock Hard Brickston just took out the referee! It’s just Tha Puerto Rican and Rock Hard Brickston left in the ring! Rock Hard Brickston goes back to pounding Tha Puerto Rican‘s face in! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Rock Hard Brickston stomps on Tha Puerto Rican some more! Rock Hard Brickston picks PRL up. Rock Hard Brickston sends the groggy Puerto Rican into the ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes, and gets scooped up onto Rock Hard Brickston’s shoulders! COLE Oh no! It could be--it might just be… Rock Hard Brickston parades around the ring with Tha Puerto Rican on his shoulders. The 6’6” 215 pound big man has a scowl on his face as he throws PRL off of his shoulders, causing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to crash onto the mat! Rock Hard Brickston stands up and lets out a mighty roar as Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat, withering thanks to the Death Valley Driver. COLE Rock Hard Brickston just gave Tha Puerto Rican the Killswitch! Rock Hard Brickston is sending PRL a message here tonight! The crowd boos loudly. Rock Hard Brickston sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been laid to waste by Rock Hard Brickston! Rock Hard Brickston is growling as he walks over and grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right leg. Rock Hard Brickston turns PRL around, kneels down on his left knee, and then grabs ahold of PRL’s right ankle to twist it! COLE And now the Anklelock! The Anklelock on Tha Puerto Rican! Rock Hard Brickston applies the Anklelock on Tha Puerto Rican! PRL screams out in pain, clawing at the mat! The crowd freaks out, as The People’s Champion screams his lungs out while trapped in the deadly Anklelock! Rock Hard Brickston also screams, but he’s screaming for PRL to give up! THA PUERTO RICAN TAPS OUT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE Tha Puerto Rican taps out! But there’s no match! This is just an assault! An ambush! A ruthless attack that Tha Puerto Rican never saw coming! Rock Hard Brickston turns the Anklelock into a HEEL HOOK~! Tha Puerto Rican continues screaming out in pain! Garbage is thrown into the ring. COLE Somebody stop this! This isn’t even an official match! The crowd boos loudly…and the boos only get louder when who should appear at ringside but VITAMIN X! COLE What--what the hell!? VITAMIN X!? What is he doing out here!? He’s retired! He retired just a week ago! Vitamin X is wearing a black buttoned down dress shirt, a black sports jacket, a gold chain around his neck, a $1,000 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. X has a smirk on his face as he climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. COLE Vitamin X is back in the OAOAST! What’s he doing here!? What the hell is going on!? Vitamin X tells Rock Hard Brickston to stop hurting PRL. Rock Hard Brickston stops and looks up at Vitamin X. Vitamin X nods his head and applauds Rock Hard Brickston. This just further enrages the already enraged crowd! COLE Rock Hard Brickston and Vitamin X working together? Again? But the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation disbanded 4 months ago! Why are they still partners!? Vitamin X shakes Rock Hard Brickston’s left hand. VITAMIN X Thank you. Thank you. I just can’t thank you enough! ROCK HARD BRICKSTON No problem, X. No problem at all! Tha Puerto Rican is on his stomach, withering in pain. He holds his right ankle. Vitamin X looks down at Tha Puerto Rican and smiles evilly. VX runs his mouth at PRL. He then does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. COLE Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on here!? The crowd boos louder than before. VX high fives Rock Hard Brickston, and then demands a microphone. Rock Hard Brickston smiles evilly as he paces back and forth in the ring. Vitamin X receives a microphone from a ringside attendant. COLE Finally, we’re going to get an explanation here! Vitamin X puts the microphone to his lips and begins speaking. VITAMIN X Oh P.R., P.R., P.R. *Sigh* Don’t you know me by now!? Don’t you know that I ALWAYS have a back-up plan!? You see, 3 weeks ago, I obtained my manager’s license. Hey, it pays to have friends in high places (thank you Popick). So, when I made the match for the Big Apple Spectacular with my career on the line, I was fully aware that, win or lose, the Big Apple Spectacular would NOT be my final appearance in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Oh no, you can’t get rid of Vitamin X that easily! This was just my ‘Plan B‘, just in case the Big Apple Spectacular didn’t go the way I wanted it to go. COLE Oh my. VITAMIN X (CONT’D) I said that if I lost to you last Thursday, my career was finished…but I never said ANYTHING about leaving professional wrestling all together! The truth was, I was only talking about my IN-RING career, because, yes, THAT career is over. But don’t worry P.R…my MANAGERIAL career has just begun! When I lost, I initiated ‘Plan B’. I have signed a contract to become a MANAGER here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! If I can’t win the World Heavyweight Championship, I will use my superior intellect to lead someone else to the World Heavyweight Championship! I will use my EXCELLENT leadership skills to take someone to the top of the OAOAST mountain! And I have decided to use all of my skills on this man right here, your next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion…BRICKSTON! COLE Another name change!? VITAMIN X Next week, PRL, live on HeldDOWN~!, you WILL defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Brickston one-on-one! COLE Whoa! An OAOAST World Heavyweight Title Match next week on HeldDOWN~! VITAMIN X So, P.R., enjoy this next week, because next Thursday night, your OAOAST World Title reign will FINALLY end! And it will end at the hands of the future of professional wrestling…BRICKSTON! Why? Because he is THAT much better than YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing. Vitamin X drops the microphone onto the mat. He looks down at the hurt PRL and smiles evilly. COLE What a bombshell! Vitamin X has returned to the OAOAST as a manager for Rock Hard--I mean just Brickston now! And next week, Brickston will challenge Tha Puerto Rican for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship on HeldDOWN~! Vitamin X taunts Tha Puerto Rican. He then tells Brickston something. Brickston and Vitamin X talk. They both laugh manically. PRL continues holding his right knee in pain. COLE And Brickston has sent a message to Tha Puerto Rican here tonight, laying him out, giving him the Killswitch, and then the Anklelock, and then turning *that* into a heel hook! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion is down while the new #1 Contender is standing tall! Vitamin X holds the ropes for Brickston to leave the ring. X then follows Brickston out of the ring. Vitamin X and Brickston look back at Tha Puerto Rican. Both men have cocky smirks on their faces. Brickston and Vitamin X chuckle. They then start walking up the entrance ramp as “Fuel” continues playing. COLE What a turn of events! Tha Puerto Rican took on Jonathan Coachman and beat him with ease, and then got Pearl Harbored by Brickston and Vitamin X! And now he has got a week to get ready for his next World Title defense!? Something tells me that the ball is in Vitamin X and Brickston’s court now! Vitamin X raises Brickston’s hands in the air and points to him on the entrance ramp. The crowd boos loudly. Brickston and Vitamin X smile evilly. VITAMIN X The next World Heavyweight Champion! THE NEXT OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IS RIGHT HERE! YEAH BABY! YEAH! BOO-YAH~! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s World Heavyweight Championship reign might be in trouble next week! What a match that should be! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Brickston next week on HeldDOWN~! for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship, but there’s still a lot more HeldDOWN~! to come here tonight, so stay with us! We’ll be right back! Vitamin X and Brickston continue walking up the entrance ramp, gloating over what they’ve done. Jonathan Coachman has disappeared from ringside, as has Earl Hebner. Tha Puerto Rican lies in the ring, still holding his right knee in tremendous pain as “Fuel” by Metallica continues playing. This is the last image we see as we head into the commercial break. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL BREAK Edited August 5, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 -The screen cuts in to OAOAST President JOSIE BAKER's office!~! The fans erupt when they see their favorite president standing in her office, pacing around, Sophie Grey following every step. JOSIE ...and therein lies the problem, Sophie... SOPHIE Si l'affaire tombe à travers, le titre retourne. JOSIE Exactly...it's either that, or we send Jereme to SJPW. SOPHIE Bien, Mme Baker... nous pouvons toujours garder le titre comme un titre d'OAOAST... -Josie stops pacing and turns to her assistant, her eyes now completely serious. She stares at Sophie for awhile, before pointing at her. JOSIE Say that again? SOPHIE Gardez le titre, mais tournez-le dedans à un titre d'OAOAST... JOSIE ... -Josie suddenly springs forward, kissing Sophie hard on the lips. Not a lesbian one, mind you, but, you know...a friendly kiss. She breaks away quickly, smiling wide. JOSIE Vous foutue fille brillante, vous! Call your brother in here! -Sophie smiles, before running over to the desk, pushing a button on the intercom. SOPHIE Jereme? Pouvez-vous entrer satisfaites-vous ici? Merci. -A few moments pass before the door opens, and in limps Jereme Grey!! The fans erupt as Jereme weakly smiles at his cousin and sister, who are both grinning like idiots. Jereme sits in the nearest chair, looking between the two. JEREME ...What the hell are you two so happy about? -Josie walks over to her desk and leans against it, staring at Jereme. JOSIE The deal with SJPW fell through. -Jereme is confused. JEREME ...and that's bon to you? That's the news? JOSIE It's either we give up the title, or you go to SJPW... JEREME ...Yeah, I don't follow ya for merde, Josie... JOSIE Your sister had an idea. -Jereme looks over Sophie, who gives the thumbs up. Jereme looks even more confused as he turns his attention to Josie. JOSIE So...at AngleSlam, you will NOT be facing Colin Maguire, Jr. for the SJPW Cruiserweight Title. -The fans erupt in boos as Jereme nods his head, disappointed. Josie's grin gets even wider. JOSIE Instead...you will be facing Colin Maguire, Jr....in a No DQ match at AngleSlam... -Jereme stares at his cousin, hanging on her every word. JOSIE ...for the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE! -The fans erupt!! Jereme smiles wide as he looks at his SJPW title belt. Josie puts her hand on his shoulder. JOSIE ...but that means you are now representing the OAOAST...so I expect you to do your best EVERY time. -Jereme chuckles and nods. He stands quickly and shakes Josie's hand, before nodding to Sophie, who smiles wide at her brother as he walks out of the room. Josie turns to Sophie. JOSIE Call Mr. Kobayashi and tell him, "Au revoir, dipshit." -Fade to black. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 ANGLESLAM Shill Center Until we select an official theme song, fun summertime music with a western flair welcomes us inside OAOAST studios where Tony Brannigan (who’s traded in his blazer for a Hawaiian shirt) stands on the right side of a sunset backdrop many would recognize from our previous AS logo while the new logo along with time/date is seen on the left. BRANNIGAN Here to shill the 2008 edition of Angleslam on HeldDOWN~!, I’m Tony Brannigan. The sun may be setting on the summer, but the OAOAST plans on sending it out with a bang Sunday night, August 31st from the Alamodome in my hometown of San Antonio, Texas. Now the event is already sold out, but you can still catch all the action exclusively on pay-per-view from the comfort on your own home. MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS Winner to receive guaranteed OAOAST Championship match and $500,000 BRANNIGAN One of the matches on tap for that big event will determine who receives a HALF-A-MILLION DOLLARS from tournament sponsor Theodore Moneymaker’s own pocketbook -- but more importantly a guaranteed contract to face whoever the OAOAST Champion is. It should be noted this contact can be used, or cashed in, so to speak, at anytime, meaning we could see the champ successfully DEFEND and LOSE the title all in the same night! A tactic the previous Money in the Bank winner Landon Maddix employed to win the OAOAST Championship from Zack Malibu last June. MR. DICK vs. BARON WINDELS BRANNIGAN How about this one? In front of the hometown faithful, Baron Windels to get another crack at former partner Mr. Dick. This all stems from the incident that occurred one week ago at the Big Apple Spectacular that left Baron Windels not just bloody and bruised...but humiliated! OAOAST BACKTRACKER Courtesy: Big Apple Spectacular V.I.C.E. tag and Detective Bosley sets Baron for the NYPD-DT…but Windels blocks the suplex and serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * The CAE jump on Baron in celebration only to be attacked by CPA who dumps them outside while Mr. Dick WHIPS the Lone Star Gunslinger with Malaysia’s CAT O‘NINE TAILS. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” It’s only until after Mr. Dick has had fun that officials are let in to tend to Baron Windels, his back bloody from the lashings he received. BRANNIGAN Although both happen to reside in the River City, there’s little doubt as to who the hometown favorite will be, something Mr. Dick knows very well. Have a listen. The Alamo at night serves as the backdrop for Mr. Dick and OAOAST Women’s Champion Malaysia. MR. DICK Whoever said you can’t go home again was exactly right, because it won’t be a homecoming when I return to the town where I was a high school football hero a villain. I’ll still compete in front of a packed house, but the adulation of the fans will be reversed for one man, Baron Windels. (scoffs) What a glutton for punishment this guy is, Malaysia. No matter how bad I beat him he keeps coming back for more, which is good for a couple of people who love to inflict pain like us. A pain that’s as much mental as it is physical because let’s face it: Baron can’t handle The Dick. He tries like a Special Olympian, but in the end he’s still a retard! MALAYSIA MR. DICK Just as the Alamo was the last stand for William Travis and his men, the Alamodome will be yours Baron. It’s time for Mr. Dick to move on to bigger and better things without having to drag you along for the ride as I did all those years we teamed. Win, lose or draw, it ends for you at Angleslam. We cut back to Tony Brannigan in the studio. BRANNIGAN I for one cannot wait to see that encounter Sunday night, August 31st. Oh, my, and let’s not forget this big one, where get this -- the only win to win is by rendering your opponent DEFENSELESS! NO ROPE BARBED WIRE FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES HELL IN A CELL MATCH James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers BRANNIGAN As you’ll recall, because James Cone can legally turn down a match against anyone ranked lower than him in the Top 10, Sly Sommers was unable to get a match with his nemesis so he handpicked young -- and winless -- Cooper Riley to meet Cone at the Big Apple Spectacular. If Riley was somehow able to pull off the upset then Sommers would face Cone in a match of his choosing at Angleslam. Here is how it all went down. Courtesy: Big Apple Spectacular James Cone signals that he has had it! He waits for Cooper to rise to his feet...THROWS THE LUNAR KICK! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.... ...SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, COOPER RILEY KNOWS THE REVERSAL! He performs a soccer-style slide tackle under the kick, on Cone's other leg! Riley gets up and kicks Cone as hard as he can in the face, soccer ball-style! He then goes up to the top rope...FRONT FLIP DOUBLE STOMP! HE GOES FOR THE COVER! ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE! COLE WHAT? TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COACH NO WAY! NO WAY! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *DING DING* THE CROWD GOES NUTS! BUFFER YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR WINNNNNNNNERRRRR....COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERRRRR RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY! Cooper slides out of the ring and leaps into Sly's arms! The place is coming down! COLE Wha...whaa....WHAT? This under-150 pound kid from West Lafayette, Indiana has just scored a clean pinfall victory over one of the top ten ranked wrestlers in the WORLD! * CLIP * COACH GUYS! GUYS! Folks, I'm here with Sly Sommers and the Miracle Kid...Cooper Riley! *crowd cheers louder* Um...WHAT JUST HAPPENED??!?!? COOPER Um...um...I believed in myself and Sly believed in me, and this happened! OH MY GOD! SLY My words exactly! But kid...I knew you had it in you! Congrats! *hugs Cooper, then looks at Phoenix* So bro, wonder how someone who trained under me, a guy who doesn't know how to avoid that kick of yours, knew how to reverse it? Let's just say that palling around with the master of the superkick in this company has its perks... Phoenix pitches a fit in the ring! SLY Settle down, young man. Settle down. There's no need to throw a fit because there's nothing you can do about it...I've unlocked Pandora's Box, my friend. You and I are back on even ground. You might have proved me wrong about not having what it takes to be a top guy in this sport...but you made it personal, boy! COACH So, since Cooper pulled out the upset of the year, you get Phoenix at Angleslam with any stipulation of your choice... SLY Yes; yes I do. I'm not going to wait to tell the world what I have in mind. I'm not going to leave you drooling in anticipation, Phoenix. At Angleslam...*pauses*...we're going to have a straight-up match. One on one, singles match, all that jazz...(Phoenix visibly breathes a sigh of relief) COACH Um, okay? Well, there you have it: Sly Sommer... SLY Wait, I almost forgot something. Those ropes? They're going to have to go during our match. They're gawdy and they're just going to get in the way. COACH The way of what? PHOENIX (un-mic'd) YEAH! THE WAY OF WHAT??!?! SLY The way of strand upon strand of flesh-ripping, blood-shedding, unforgiving BARBED WIRE! *the fans applaud* COACH NO ROPE BARBED WIRE AT ANGLESLAM?!?!?! SLY No, no, no, bro. Not just that. PHOENIX NOT JUST THAT?!?!?! SLY Nah, man. See, I don't want these fans getting hurt by what I'm going to do to you, so we're going to put up...the HELL IN THE CELL! Why? I don't want shards of glass going into the crowd! PHOENIX SHARDS OF GLASS?!?!? SLY Oh yeah, man, I kinda forgot. Hanging from the ceiling of the cell will be a trash can. What's special about a trash can, right? Well, this trash can will be filled with FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES! We're going to put a couple of ladders at ringside too. You grab the trash can using the ladder to climb, you bring down the tubes, and they're fair game to hurt your opponent with! PHOENIX WHAT THE HELL?!?!? SLY One more thing: no submit. No surrender. No pinfalls. The only way to win is to be left defenseless. You have to be bruised, bloodied, wounded, and unconcious. If the referee deems you unable to continue, only then is the match over! I don't want you taking the (bleep) way out and tapping out to a headlock! This crap ends at Angleslam! One of us is leaving on a stretcher! Phoenix...you were treading on the proverbial devil's playground when you turned on me...but now, you're going to be in the real Devil's Playground...good luck! BRANNIGAN Also on the card… INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey BRANNIGAN Be sure to stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more information regarding Angleslam. It’s the hottest event of the summer and it comes to you LIVE exclusively on pay-per-view Sunday night, August 31st. With gas prices reported at record highs across this great land of ours, stay in and beat the pain at the pump -- and the heat! -- with 3 hours of nonstop entertainment the whole family will love. Don’t you dare miss Angleslam! COMMERCIAL NEXT SECOND ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH LEON RODEZ VS REJECT THE MAINEVENT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 COLE Coming up next, Money In The Bank Quarter Final. Reject, Leon Rodez, first time one on one meeting... and with No Holds Barred! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and with The Coach apparently 'otherwise occupied', it's my pleasure to welcome Maggie Nerdly to the Sofa Central hotseat. And Maggie, uhm, I guess it's appropriate that you're out here to watch this since you've been a source of conflict in recent weeks between the two men we're about to see, Reject and your boyfriend Leon Rodez. MAGGIE First off hotbiscuits, good to be here. And second... yeah, I don't think it's all that ideal personally. But Josie grabbed me and told me to get out here to fill in, so I dunno. I'm just here to do my job. Or, your job. Or Coach's job, whatever that is. COLE God only knows. Well I understand this might be a bit of an awkward situation for you in that case, so I'll try my best to stay professional. MAGGIE Just call me by the right name and we'll be chill. COLE I make no promises. Finally we go up to the ring, the anticipating silence of the crowd turning to boos as "Renagade" by Jay-Z and Eminem hits. Down go the lights, only a single white spotlight shining out through the arena as the bassline hits. The first thing the light hits is the confident smile of Reject as he steps out. 'The R-Man' swaggers to the ring, shining up his Tag Team Title belt as he enters the ring. BUFFER The following contest is a Quarter Finals match in the $500,000 Money In The Bank Tournament... and, it will now be a NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH! Introducing first... hailing from The Bronx, New York. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and thirty five pounds. Representing The Deadly Alliance... one half of the reigning OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... ladies and gentlemen, this is RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCTT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Climbing off the turnbuckles, Reject waves and winks down at Maggie. COLE Reject seems to have the eyes for you, Maggie. MAGGIE Either that or he's seen his reflection in something shiny. Reject grabs the mic from Buffer and paces the ring as his music dies down. COLE Looks like Reject's got something to say before this match! REJECT Well, well, well...looks like we're finally here, Leon. Just you, and me, one-on-one, No Holds Barred. *crowd cheers* REJECT Just like all these folks out here, I can't wait. I'm too excited, I gotta sit down... Reject motions to the timekeepers' table for a chair, which an official slides into him. He folds it out in mid-ring, and sits down in it, facing the aisleway. REJECT Because you see, after WEEKS of putting up with your attitude, with your cheap shots, with your jealousy...tonight, I finally get to make things right. I finally get a chance to take a chair...just like this one...(Reject turns to his side and rubs the back of the chair)...and decorate it with your blood. *crowd boos* REJECT Speaking of this chair...I want to take this time to flash back, to an incident that took place... At that moment, a fan slides into the ring, and Reject, hearing the commotion, rises from his seat and gives him a back kick to the chest, then lays in some stomps as security yanks him out of the ring. The crowd cheers, as Reject moves the chair back to the ropes, then calmly sits back down. REJECT As I was saying...I want to replay the scene from earlier tonight. Because I was watching it in the back after it happened, and I couldn't help but notice something that happened there in the aftermatch. So if the crew could just roll that tape, that'd be swell. Reject sits calmly as the tape plays. Reject looks over at Maggie, then walks up and puts his hands on her arms, asking her if she's okay, to which she nods approvingly. The crowd then starts to cheer, as LEON RODEZ runs to the ring! COLE And here comes Leon! COACH Yeah, a little late, don't ya think? Leon slides in and grabs the chair, then blasts Reject over the head with it as he turns around! COACH Wait a minute! COLE Big chairshot from Leon Rodez to his opponent tonight, Reject! COACH Now why would he do that? He should be thankful that Reject was there to save his girl! COLE I don't know what to make of this triangle that's been going on lately, Coach, I just don't. Leon ushers Maggie out of the ring, and the two leave the ring area, as Reject lays on the mat, looking between the bottom and middle rope at them as they leave. However, Maggie can't help but take a couple concerned looks back towards the ring at him. REJECT Freeze it right there. The camera cuts back to Reject in the ring. REJECT You see that look, Leon? Take a good look. You know what that look says? Maggie KNOWS that she has something with the R-Man. Four weeks ago, when I took her out for dinner, she told me as we were leaving the restaurant: 'This is the most that a man has appreciated me in weeks.' And yes, I meant it that night when I said, that it was EXACTLY what it looked like...and more. Reject cracks a sly smile, as the crowd boos. Over at the commentary table, Maggie looks on unimpressed. REJECT I gave Maggie everything that a woman could ask for from a man. Everything... Reject stands up, then walks over to the ropes and looks into the main camera. REJECT Everything that you, instead, choose to give to her SISTER behind her back. COLE Oh come on! The crowd gives a mixed reaction, part booing Reject, part stunned by his remark. REJECT So you can't blame her, Leon, for being concerned for a guy like me. And Maggie...this goes out to you. *turns to Maggie* I can continue to give all of that to you for as long as you want...it's your choice. But for now, Leon...I'm going to give you all that I have. Starting right now. Reject gives a long stare into the camera, before handing the mic back to Buffer. COLE Is this guy delusional or what? Give me a break! Maggie, I apologise. Reject unstraps the Tag Team Title belt from around his waist and hands it to referee Mike Chioda. COLE If you don't mind me asking, what is the deal with you and Reject? You did seem a little grateful for his help earlier if I'm honest. MAGGIE There is no deal, I just made a huge mistake trying to make Leon jealous and a huger mistake by involving this walking ego, okay? It's complicated. Simplest way I can put it is, I don't care about Reject, I just care about Leon. And apparently those sentiments stretch to the people of Richmond, as a roar goes up for "Rock The Casbah". BUFFER And his opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds. A member of The Love Generation... "THE NEW-AGE LOVE MACHINE"... "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The robed Rodez glides his way down the aisle, tagging hands with the Richmond crowd. He stops at the foot of the aisleway staring up at Reject who stares over the ropes at him. Leon doesn't look overly concerned though, as Reject predictably backs away when he enters the ring. After an acknowledgement of the cheers, Leon finally notices Maggie at the announce table is understandably distracted. Hands on hips, he thinks about saying something to her, but realises he has to focus on the match and leaves it be. COLE If you don't mind me aski... MAGGIE If it's about me and Leon, I kinda do, yeah. There's enough talk as it is. Uncharacteristic as it is for me to say this, let's just concentrate on the wrestling shall we? COLE Certainly. This promises to be an excellent encounter. And thanks to Reject cashing in his golden envelope earlier on, No Holds Barred to boot! You have to wonder who that'll favour. With half an eye still on Maggie, Leon comes out of his corner as Chioda goes over the now revised rules. Reject spends the whole instructions grinning at Leon, The Silky Smooth One's other half of the eye staring back. COLE If Reject's hoping to get under the skin of Leon Rodez, he'd better think again. *DINGDINGDING!* Chioda calls for the bell and the match begins with Reject getting the jump, running at Leon with a quick boot before firing away with right hands. Back comes Leon with rights to the body to try and fight Reject off, but Reject manages to back him up in the corner and grab the ropes to stomp away. Leon gets a mudhole walked in him until he's slumped against the bottom turnbuckle, Reject breaking away to pose. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Reject wasting no time and with No Holds Barred, holding nothing back in the corner. Brushing off the boos, Reject helps Leon back up in the corner. A sudden switch turns the tables though with Reject caught in the corner and rained in on with right hands! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Reject covers up under the punches until Rodez grabs the arm, whipping him out of the corner. Putting up a foot, Reject avoids hitting the turnbuckles, then jabs an elbow back as Leon charges in behind. Reject quickly hops up to the middle rope with Leon dazed. But not for long, a right to the gut allowing Leon to reach up and slam Reject off the turnbuckles. Holding his back, Reject is then bowled over with a clothesline. And a second. And... he dodges a third, scrambling underneath the ropes and to the floor for a breather. COLE Reject not feeling quite so froggy anymore, but LOOK OUT! The Richmond crowd erupt as Leon joins Reject on the floor with a PESCADO! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The Silky Smooth One tries to mount Reject with some right hands, but he's able to shove Leon away and create some distance around the ring. Rodez follows right after Reject though, catching up to him and clubbing him in the back with a forearm. In the ring, referee Chioda is powerless to do anything, as Leon clubs Reject again, before sending him roaring across ringside with a hard irish whip, only the unforgiving barricade stopping Reject's momentum! MAGGIE Looks like Reject made a bad call with that golden envelope of his. Leon isn't such a pushover after all, huh 'R-Man'? COLE We all know and love Leon as the happy-go-lucky entertainer, but he is tough. We're not quite so used to seeing him in these kind of matches. But he held his own admirably against the dominant Heartland Champion, Sandman9000, a few weeks ago in a similar environment. With Reject pulling himself up using the timekeeper's table, Leon climbs up the ring steps and raises a fist to the crowd. He then leaps with a fist drop, catching Reject between the eyes as he gets to his feet! Reject staggers away and ends up slumped over the announce table. COLE Uh-oh, coming our way here. Eagerly, Leon grabs a hold of Reject by the head, pulling him up face-to-face with Maggie... before BOUNCING his skull off the table! The smile on Maggie's face can't help but be noticed, as Reject is then bounced off the table a second time! But Maggie's presence doesn't pay off for Leon, distracted as the two troubled lovers lock eyes... allowing Reject to raise his leg back into Leon's crotch! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE LOWBLOW! As Leon goes rigid in pain, Reject shakes out the cobwebs. With a wink to Maggie, he then informs her that "I've got this, baby", before he scoops Rodez up and drops him with snake-eyes across the announce table! COLE That momentary distraction cost Leon right there, hate to say it Maggie. MAGGIE Yeah, yeah, I know. Reject bundles Leon back inside and makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Irish whip by Reject, catching Leon on the rebound with a spinning wheel kick. Another cover... 1... 2... No! Reject stomps Rodez a couple of times, before stopping to pose once again. Waiting for Leon to get back up, Reject then feeds him the foot, looking for the Enziguri... NO! Leon ducks! Belly flopping off the mat, Reject walks into Leon's clutches and a release Exploder Suplex in the centre of the ring, for a cover... 1... 2... No! Backing into a corner, Reject manages to lure Leon into a boot before sending him face-first into the turnbuckles. COLE In the midst of the personal issue between these two, we're somewhat forgetting the high stakes here. The winner one step closer to AngleSlam, to $500,000, to a guaranteed World Title shot at any time they so choose for a year! Reject shoos referee Chioda out of the way and looks for an irish whip, corner to corner, only for it to be reversed by Leon. Jumping to the middle rope Reject goes for a crossbody out of the corner... fakes Rodez out... but still misses the crossbody when he finally leaves his perch as Leon deftly sidesteps! Leon quickly exits the ring and heads to the top to the excitement of the Richmond fans. With Reject doubled up in pain, Leon sizes him up as he stands tall on the top rope, waiting for the perfect opportunity to soar with a Steamboat-esque Top Rope Crossbody... ...AND GETTING DROPKICKED IN MID-AIR!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a counter by Reject! Reject crawls over and hooks a leg tight... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Only two but that dropkick was a thing of beauty. Timing, execution, everything. Despite avoiding the 3 count, Leon is still hurting and holds his ribs as he's pulled to his feet by Reject. A forearm rocks him against the ropes, setting up a clothesline. But Leon ducks, backdropping Reject up and over the top, Reject barely saving himself and landing on the apron. As he pulls himself up though, he sneaks a knee in through the ropes. MAGGIE You know I never realised how close to the ring this table is until there were two guys feet away from crushing us from a great height. COLE You get used to it. MAGGIE ...what's that supposed to mean!? COLE No, I meant... I was referring to being... not... nevermind I'm sorry. Reject gets his bearings and realising where he is, he reaches back into the ring and pulls Rodez out onto the apron with him. Looking down at the arena floor below, the smiling Reject looks set to execute something potentially dangerous which draws worried sounds from the crowd. But Leon fights him off. Shots to the gut connect on Reject, allowing Leon to drop safely to the arena floor. He then scampers back up to the apron, but this time behind Reject, allowing him to lift the Tag Team Champion up... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND DROP HIM WITH A BACK SUPLEX ON THE RING APRON!!! COLE OH, MY! Eyes bulging in pain, Reject's back arches as he lays on the hard apron. Leon, having landed safely on the floor, shoves Reject back under the ropes and into the ring. COLE Reject was just drove back first on that ring apron, one of the hardest parts of the ring. What a resourceful move from Leon. And Maggie I get the feeling you enjoyed that. MAGGIE It seems to have stopped Reject from talking, that's no mean feat. With Reject hurt, Leon delays climbing back into the ring, catching a look at Maggie before going over to the ring apron and rummaging under the ring... for a SINGAPORE CANE!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" MAGGIE Well that was convenient! Good folks at home, next time you're wondering 'where do I get me a singapore cane', put down the yellow pages, click off of Google search and find your nearest wrestling show. COLE Logic policing aside, this could be poetic justice for Reject... remember how Sandman9000 busted Leon open with a cane coming to Reject's rescue a few weeks ago. MAGGIE I was there and it wasn't pretty. Thanks for the reminder. 'Ppreciated. Leon juggles with the cane a little before sliding into the ring behind Reject. Still in some serious discomfort Reject struggles to get to his feet, apparently unaware of what's waiting behind him. The Richmond crowd encourage Leon to swing away and he sets himself, waiting for Reject to turn. Getting to his knees, the Tag Champion lets out a moan in pain trying to work the kinks out of his back and starts to crawl his way around towards Leon, who raises the cane up over his head... ...but gets intercepted with ANOTHER LOWBLOW!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dropping the cane, Leon crumbles to the canvas, as does Reject. COLE Desperation move from Reject! Both men are down, we are going to take a quick, final commercial break... this crucial Money In The Bank Quarter Final Match continues when we come back, don't go anywhere! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* Back we come to see Reject in control, stomping Leon in the corner and only stopping to nurse his still aching back. COLE Welcome back to Richmond, where the road to AngleSlam and the Money In The Bank contract is still a painful one for Reject and Leon Rodez. And during the commercial break, both these men eager to get their hands on that singapore cane and neither able to connect, with the cane now laying out at reach at ringside. But these two men haven't needed weapons to inflict some serious pain on one another Maggie. MAGGIE No and no weapons is fine by me, since I'm gonna get blamed for whatever crap goes down here whatever happens. Reject slowly pulls Leon up in the corner and sends him across the ring with an irish whip. Massaging the lower back, Reject then follows in looking for a monkey flip. He comes out of the corner but Leon does not, holding onto the ropes. The back of Reject's head bounces off the mat and Leon capitalises with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... No! Both men climb back up and Leon is first to strike, with a jab! COLE Here we go! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss to the crowd, before turning back on his heels... ...into a boot to the gut! Boos shower Reject as he blocks the beloved combo and even more so when he nails Leon with his own jab! Another! A third! And a fourth! Riling up the crowd, Reject turns to the commentary table and blows a kiss towards Maggie, before springing up with a standing dropkick to the BUTT of Leon's jaw! No comment from Maggie, just a scowl up into the ring. Ignoring it, Reject rolls out of the ring past Maggie and goes over to grab himself a steel chair. COLE Reject, who made this match No Holds Barred earlier tonight, now looking to further 'cash in' on that golden envelope. Sliding back in, Reject waits on Leon to get back up... and CRACKS him over the head with the chair! COLE Payback from earlier tonight! And Reject may cash in big after that. Cover... 1... 2... NO! Looking annoyed Reject grabs the chair again, setting it down on the canvas and grabbing Rodez. He positions him over the chair looking for a DDT, but Leon manages to spin out of the facelock and reverse. Leon sends Reject off the ropes with an irish whip, putting his head down for a backdrop, only to get a boot to the shoulder blade to block. With Leon apparently dazed, Reject then backs up into the ropes again... *CLANG!* ...rebounding into a chair flung into his face!! COLE Reject's not going to like that, right in the kisser! MAGGIE Oh, what a shame. Both men are down again, taking the advantage of the chance to clear the cobwebs. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Pulling himself off the ropes, Reject walks out towards Leon, who manages to land a boot. Underhooking the arms, Leon sets up a Tiger Driver... but Reject spins out and snares a surprised Silky Smooth One around the head for the EULOGY... NO! Leon counters as he shoves Reject in the back, sending him off the ropes and back into the waiting arms for Blue Thunder... NO! Over the top escapes Reject, landing behind Leon. Waistlock is applied, looking for a German, but Leon blocks with an elbow. Another elbow frees him from the waistlock, allowing him to whip Reject into a corner and deliver Double Knees! Out of the corner staggers Reject, Leon hitting the ropes, tucking and rolling... but Reject ducks the Shack Attack, grabbing Leon around the waist and hitting a Northern Lights Suplex, with a bridge... 1... 2... NO! Rolling away, Reject aims for Leon's head with a spinning heel kick. A quick duck from Leon avoids it and leaves Reject open for a Backslide... 1... 2... No! Reject is up quickly and drops Leon with a clothesline. With Leon down, Reject makes his way over to his lower body and folds up his legs in an indian deathlock formation, threading one arm inside to the legs folded up. Reject then steps to the side looking to turn Leon over onto his front. COLE This is that new submission hold we saw Reject use last week in New York, which I'm reliable told is being called the 'R-Lock' by 'The R-Man'. But can he get it on? Reaching up, Leon grasps onto Reject's leg to try and prevent from being turned over. With a look of annoyance Reject struggles to free his leg and does so, managing to turn Leon over in one swift motion! Before he can lean down on the hold though Leon is able to scuttle forward and reach the ropes. Of course, with No Holds Barred Reject is under no obligation to break the hold. But as Leon starts climbing up the ropes on his hands he loses his leverage anyway, so releases the hold to kick Leon in the back of the head. COLE No go for Reject right there. And he's looking a little bit frustrated I think. Retrieving the steel chair, Reject then opens it up and sits it in the centre of the ring. COLE Now what does Reject have in mind? Encouraging Leon to his feet, Reject stalks with evil intentions. A boot doubles Leon up, allowing Reject to hook him by the head and aim him towards the chair, looking for a running version of the Eulogy... but Leon slips free before even reaching the chair! As Reject puts on the brakes, Leon grabs him by the tights and drags him back, lifting him up... ...AND DROPPING HIM CROTCH-FIRST ACROSS THE BACK OF THE CHAIR!!!! REJECT COLE You might not have to worry about Reject's advances much longer Maggie! Reject hobbles from his very awkward position, right into another one as Rodez dropkicks him in the back to send him sprawling throat-first across the middle rope. Up goes a roar from the Virginia crowd as Leon busts out a very quick jig, before folding up the chair again. Off the far ropes, Leon then uses the chair to add further damage to his body attack to the small of Reject's back! COLE Chair-assisted Call That Bitch Bojangles! As Reject falls off the ropes, Rodez slides away the chair and makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE These two are putting in one hell of an effort here, with so much on the line! $500,000, the Money In The Bank contract, pride, perhaps your affections Maggie... MAGGIE Or not. COLE ...not to mention, the winner advances to meet Krista Isadora Duncan in the semi-finals, with 15% of Theodore Moneymaker's shares in TSM up for grabs! Leaving the ring, Leon goes in search of the singapore cane vacated earlier. Meanwhile, in the ring, Reject retrieves the steel chair, wedging it between the top and middle turnbuckles in a corner. Leon gets the cane to a roar of approval, sliding back into the ring. Still walking very awkwardly, Reject is still able to block the first cane shot with a boot to the gut though. However, mid-sigh of relief, Reject is shocked to see Leon suddenly recover... *THWACK!* ...cane to the back... *THWACK!* ...shot to the shoulder... *THWACK!* ...and one over the head! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" LEON COME ON! COLE And Leon is ALL FIRED UP~! Reject stumbles around in a daze, Leon setting aside the cane and pulling Reject off his feet with a double leg takedown. The crowd rise expecting the Liontamer. But Reject gets his feet planted against Leon's stomach and manages to push him away... sending Leon backwards, hitting the wedged steel chair in the corner behind him! Out stumbles Leon and he gets caught in an inside cradle... 1... 2... NO! COLE Only two! We're seeing great resilience from both of these athletes. We know what stern stuff Leon is made of, and Reject if you get past the arrogance and the shortcuts he's been taking in recent months, a tremendous competitor in his own right. MAGGIE Pity they're both ruled by testosterone. Had to be said. Grabbing the singapore cane, Reject smiles as he looks to hand off some receipts for the shots he just received. He waits for Leon to step his way, lining up with it like a baseball bat and looking to take Leon's head off with a shot... but The Grand Rapids Golden Child saves himself from decapitation by ducking! Spun around in a 360, Reject then lunges forward... CHARGING SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE CHAIR IN THE CORNER!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Down goes Reject and Leon quickly signals for the end as he exits the ring. COLE Here we go, could be 450 time! MAGGIE Come on Leon! As Maggie's impartiality and professionalism finally drops, Leon reaches the top. He has to take a second to un-wedge the chair though to actually get on the top rope safely... ...allowing Reject to recover and lunge at the feet, CROTCHING LEON UP TOP!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sighs of disappointment ring around the arena as Reject looks mighty relieved. Hand pressed against his back, he takes a deep breath before heading up the ropes to follow Leon. He lands a couple of short punches on Leon from the middle rope, before hooking him up for a superplex. From the middle rope apparently isn't enough for Reject though and he re-adjusts his feet onto the top rope. COLE Reject is going ALL the way up! This may not end well for either man! Reject pulls Leon up to his feet as well, precarious on the top rope. Both men hover over perilous drops and it's with much caution that Leon fires off a right hand to the ribs. And a second. Reject wobbles and loses a hold on Leon, who lands a third punch to the gut. Referee Chioda can only look on as both men teeter high above the ring, Leon throwing another punch to the body which finally knocks Reject from his perch... and DOWN, CROTCHED ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! Feeling the worst possible pain known to man again, Reject is powerless to stop Leon from shoving him in the chest. But Reject doesn't fall from the turnbuckles, his feet getting caught under the turnbuckle leaving him hung upside down in the tree of woe! With Reject stuck, Leon climbs safely back into the ring. Heading for the opposite corner of the ring, Leon then sizes Reject up, ignoring his upside-down pleas for mercy and charging in... hesitating in mid-air before driving a thunderous dropkick into Reject's face!! COLE Wham! Another shot to Reject's precious face, I'm sure Leon enjoyed that. Falling from the tree of woe, Reject is pulled right back up by Rodez and placed right back where he started, sat on the top turnbuckle facing into the crowd. COLE Leon isn't done yet though. MAGGIE Looking at me... I hope this isn't for my benefit, two guys fighting over a woman is so draconian, dude. After the long look at Maggie, Leon steps up onto the middle rope behind Reject. He clubs him in the back with a forearm. And a second. Leon then steps up on top, setting up Reject. Both men stand up top in another precarious position, but this time the only way for both is down, as Leon pulls Reject back with a Back Superplex... ...BUT REJECT TURNS OVER IN MID-AIR AND LANDS ON TOP!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE OH! Counter by Reject, what a sudden reversal of fortunes! MAGGIE See, pride comes before a fall. Rolling off of the groggy Leon, Reject starts to get to his feet. But then he suddenly stops, crawling over and grabbing a hold of the steel chair. He slides it into position before slithering backwards and laying in wait for The Silky Smooth One. COLE Reject, preparing to read Leon his Eulogy. And the Eulogy is the last thing you hear. Slowly, to the sound of thousands of fans warning him of what awaits him, Rodez starts to pull himself back to his feet. Still looking groggy he uses the ropes for help, Reject on one knee and poised. Leon leaves the ropes and as he turns around, he walks right into the springing body of Reject for the EULOGY~1!~... ...NO!! Leon manages to shove Reject off at the last second... the Tag Champion narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with Mike Chioda! Reject starts to apologise to the ref before realising what he's doing, instead berating him for getting in the way and shoving him aside. Turning back around, Reject throws a Roundhouse Kick but Leon ducks it, spinning around himself and connecting with a Rolling Sole BUTT to the midsection. Leon then hooks up Reject in a 3/4 headlock, scaling up the ropes and floating backwards with the shiranui... *WHAM!* ...DRIVING REJECT'S HEAD RIGHT DOWN INTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Feedback THIS, into the chair! Reject is OUT! Figuring there's no harm in making sure though, Leon pulls himself through the bottom and middle ropes. Reject lays in position as Leon scales the turnbuckles. He reaches the top, not wasting any time this time as he gets his footing and soars with the 450 SPLASH!! MAGGIE Score! Hook of the leg, the crowd up on their feet to count along... 1... COLE Four... 2... COLE ...Fifty... 3!!!! COLE ...and out! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* Leon drops Reject's leg and rolls off him with a sigh of relief, arm raised weekly in victory. BUFFER Here is your winner, advancing in the Money In The Bank Tournament... LLLLLEEEEEOOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" With the ropes for help again, Leon pulls himself up with the adrenaline giving way to pain pretty quickly. Leon still manages to pump a fist to the people who applaud his hard-fought victory. At the announce table, Maggie is up and applauds her boyfriend with the crowd, Leon taking a look her way but certainly not rushing over to join her in his celebrations. COLE These two men, whether it was for Maggie's benefit, for the Money In The Bank contract and the $500,000 in the pocket, or probably a mixture of the two, put it all out there here tonight. But in the end, Leon Rodez gains a measure of revenge on Reject and he advances, one step closer to AngleSlam! What's left of Reject's energy rolls him out of the ring and he lies on the outside battered and beaten. The ring is left to Leon, who scales the turnbuckles on one side and gives the best bow his body will allow him. Leon slumps back to the ring... ...and as his celebrations continue, the view changes. Still we see Leon celebrating his win, but on the screen of a television monitor tuned in to the show. The camera pans out from the TV to reveal the lavish dressing room of one Krista Isadora Duncan! There she sits with a glass of something alcoholic in hand (of course), feet kicked up on a sidetable. On a sofa across from her sits her daughter Jade, who it's fair to say doesn't look overly thrilled with her uncle's victory. Setting down the drink, Krista watches the screen, watching Leon work the Virginia crowd and smiles as she starts to casually buff her nails. KRISTA Well, this ought to be interesting. FADE TO BLACK © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 CREDITS Zack Zoidberg O'Green KC Alf EWC 149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
