Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY NEW THEME SONG NEXT WEEK!!!!! OAOAST HeldDOWN~! (i'm too lazy to go C&P the logo) COLE Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Kentucky for OAOAST HeldDOWN! We are only days away from Zero Hour and I couldn't be more excited. How about you, Coach? COACH Line. COLE What? What are you talking about? You don't have a line, just play off what I say. COACH Line! COLE Just reply to my words. COACH Line! COLE When I say something, you say something back. COACH Line! COLE For instance. I say hello. You say? COACH Line! COLE Just move on with the damn show. The arena goes dark as "God Of Thunder" pounds out through the arena. The entrance way lights up yellow, then fills up with yellow smoke, followed by the figure of Thunderkid walking through the smoke. With his half of the Tag Team Titles around his waist, Thunderkid throws a few shadow punches as he makes his way to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Green Bay, Wisconsin... he weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds. Representing The Deadly Alliance, one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... TTHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUNN - DDEEEEEEERRRRRKKIIIIIIIIIIIIDD!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Thunderkid enters the ring and raises his arms, then starts bouncing back and forth on the spot. COLE So Thunderkid to do his partner's dirty work here tonight on HeldDOWN, as he takes on the man who's been tormented over these past few weeks by Reject's actions, Leon Rodez. Interesting that on the verge of their big Tag Team Title defence this Sunday against Team Heyross, Reject wouldn't accept the match but he was fine with Thunderkid doing so. COACH Hold up, you don't know that Reject wouldn't accept the match. Thunderkid just got the nod, that's all. COLE Well we all know that Leon Rodez wants Reject. COACH And he'll get him, I'm sure. On Reject's terms. As TK continues to warm up, the crowd come to life as "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company strikes up. Sweeping his purple and black robe through the entrance, Leon Rodez marches with a purpose to the ring without paying his usual attention to his legions of fans. BUFFER And his opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds. A member of The In Crowd... "THE NEW-AGE LOVE MACHINE"... "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" In slides Leon, sweeping off his robe ready to go. Unfortunately for him the referee isn't just yet and keeps him back to go over the formalities. COLE You can tell how much Leon is itching for this match to get underway. And I'll tell you, Thunderkid isn't going to back away from a fight. COACH Not a bit. TK's a former Heartland Champ after all, you don't get that without getting your hands dirty. Referee Mike Chioda is able to calm Leon down amongst the hyped atmosphere coming from the crowd, checking him over for foreign objects. He comes up clean as Thunderkid had earlier and finally, we're good to go, as Chioda calls for the opening bell. COLE One fall match, here tonight on HeldDOWN... *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds Leon charges out of his corner and catches Thunderkid completely by surprise as he dives on him swinging wildly! The crowd erupt as Leon nails lefts and rights on Thunderkid in the corner. Leon stomps Thunderkid against the turnbuckles, at least 10 times before breaking away in a rage. LEON COME ON!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Man Leon has come fired up tonight, as we thought! TK pulls himself up in the corner still wondering what hit him. In rushes Rodez again, causing TK to sidestep. Leon is able to stop himself before hitting the turnbuckles however and turns, nailing Thunderkid with a big forearm shot. TK responds with one of his own. Forearm again from Leon. Forearm from TK. Leon fires back with a combination of three, quick and unreturned and then comes off the ropes. Clothesline is ducked though, TK catching Leon in a waistlock, looking for a german. As he lifts Rodez he's able to tuck forward, taking Thunderkid down like a prawn hold, only to come out of it to his feet and attempt to lock in the Liontamer! Quickly TK shuffles on his back to grab the bottom rope and force the break, then pulls himself between the ropes to keep Rodez backed away. COLE Leon almost had it locked in right there, a stark warning for Thunderkid. COACH Oh he did not, TK's way too powerful to get caught in that. Legs like tree-trunks. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Chomping at the bit Leon is eager to get back at TK and the moment he's back inside he moves in. But Thunderkid has bought enough time and manages to hang Leon up across the top rope as he approaches! Down goes Leon, holding his throat as TK stomps away now. COACH That's what happens when you wrestle with your heart instead of your head. You get caught in a stupid position making a stupid mistake. TK grabs Leon's wrist and delivers a Short Arm Clothesline, covering... 1... 2... No! Scooping Leon off his feet with a double leg pick, Thunderkid marches him across the ring and throws him into a corner. TK goes to work with a succession of bodyshots until referee Mike Chioda reaches five and tells him to get out of the corner. TK does back up, but doesn't care to bring Leon with him. Instead he charges at him with a high knee... AND MISSES! "YYEEEEAAAAAHHHH!" With TK hurting, he falls against the buckles... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Rodez connects with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. COLE We haven't seen Leon quite this physical in some time. He's not in there with Reject but it's the next best thing and he's got Maggie on his mind I'm sure. COACH Yeah, and Melody. And Melissa. And Molly. And Millie. And... COLE Okay, we get it. Wringing the arm, Leon looks to whip TK out of the corner. The Tag Champion reverses out though and pulls Leon forward, right into an impressive gorilla press. It would have been more impressive had Leon not escaped at the apex of the lift, landing behind TK on his feet. Rodez shoves TK forward, catching him coming back with a Standing Dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Hitting the ropes, Leon connects with a flying forearm. Quickly back up, Thunderkid walks into a boot, Leon able to get him up and over with a vertical suplex before heading to the top. COLE High-risk coming up. Reaching the top, Rodez extends waiting for Thunderkid to turn his way, then takes off with a beautiful Flying Crossbody Block... 1... 2 - NO, Thunderkid rolls through, holding Leon in his arms! COLE Oh my would you look at the power! TK carries Leon into position before executing a big Fallaway Slam, hurling him across the ring! COACH Man! Does that man even know his own strength? COLE Leon Rodez is 218 pounds and Thunderkid picked him up and threw him like he was half that! Thunderkid eventually makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! As Leon tries to get up, Thunderkid pulls an arm to the side, opening up his chest for a hard punt. Leon crawls to the ropes, using them to back him up as he punches TK in the gut. But TK delivers a kneelift to the chest, then drags Rodez to his feet and throws with an Overhead Belly To Belly Suplex! Crawling over, TK hooks a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Backing into a corner, TK waves Leon back to his feet. That plus the crowd's support gets Leon back to a vertical base... right where TK wants him, as he runs out of the corner throwing his trademark Bicycle Ki... NO! Sidestep and a BACKSLIDE... 1... 2... NO! TK delivers a quick boot to regain contol, then runs through Leon with a clothesline. COLE Thunderkid almost caught out there. COLE Yeah but that was desperation. That's all it is for Leon at this point, TK's still got things going his way. With a gutwrench, TK muscles Leon off his feet for the Powerbomb... but Leon manages to escape! Landing on his feet in front, Leon connects with a Rolling Sole BUTT, then hooks hold of TK's head. As he runs to the ropes Rodez gets shoved off though. Stopping himself in the corner, Leon lands a back elbow as TK runs in at him. TK staggers away and Leon follows, suddenly spinning around and connecting on a Step-up Enziguri! The kick knocks TK a little loopy, allowing Leon to grab hold of him, looking for an Exploder... but Thunderkid won't go! After two more attempts Leon still can't get the suplex and TK elbows his way out, switches behind, then DUMPS Leon backwards with a Release German!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pulling Leon to his feet, Thunderkid looks for the finish and hooks him up for the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!11~... but as he lifts Leon up, he takes a knee to the top of the head in mid-air!! Shaking it off, TK tries again... and again Leon lands a knee from his precarious position! TK breaks off and shoves Leon in the chest to put him into the ropes. A clothesline is ducked on the rebound by Leon, The Silky Smooth One coming off the ropes again and connecting on a rolling clothesline of his own! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Shack Attack! LEON TK, tell me how my ass tastes? COACH Not a question he wishes to answer, an angry TK charges, right into a drop toehold! Jumping to his feet, Rodez then does the jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back... ...and EATING A BICYCLE KICK!!! COACH Oh yeah! Tell me how TK's boot tastes, bitch! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK complains about the count, then picks Leon back up. COLE Thunderkid struggling to put Leon away, here on HeldDOWN just three nights away from Zero Hour live on Pay Per View! COACH Well he could do with putting him away soon. This goes much longer and them three nights will be three nights too soon. Setting Leon up again, Thunderkid lifts him looking for the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!1~!! This time though, Leon manages to float right over the top and escape! As TK turns around, Leon spins, looking for another Rolling Sole BUTT... but the foot gets caught and contorted as TK tries to apply an Ankle Lock! Before he get the hold cranked in though, a roll through puts Leon on top, stepping out of the roll-up in search of the Liontamer again! But TK is able to kick Leon off to counter. Rolling through, Leon finds himself backed in a corner and with the Tag Team Champion charging towards him... so he ducks low and counters out of the corner, shoving TK sternum first against the turnbuckles before Slicing some Bread!! COLE FEEDBACK THIS!! Taking a moment's breather, The Grand Rapids Golden Child is urged to cover and does so... 1... 2... NO!! Not wasting time despairing, Leon scoots out to the apron and heads to the top with Thunderkid still down. COLE Leon going up, could it be 450 time? Not just yet, as Thunderkid is up before Rodez can make it to the top. Knocking out Leon's feet, TK delivers right hands to the gut with him sat on the top turnbuckle. TK then steps up to the middle, landing more right hands. A slugfest starts but is quickly won by Thunderkid, who gets a knee up in the breadbasket before hooking hold of Leon's head. COLE Oh no... is Thunderkid doing what I think he's doing? Top rope Thunderbolt!? COACH Looks that way to me. Looking down, TK sets Leon up and tries to re-position himself on the ropes. With Leon now stood up Thunderkid takes a ginger step up onto the top rope, before placing both feet on the highest position of the ring. The crowd murmur with dread as Leon is slowly brought up top as well... ...but before TK can execute, Leon starts to fight back! Short punches to the ribs stun Thunderkid, halting him in his tracks. TK fights back with rights of his own and re-asserts his front facelock. But Leon continues to fight like his life depends on it and he manages to break free again. Caught in a very precarious position that he's not used to, TK wobbles as Leon punches him a couple of times in the head. And then delivers a couple of Bionic Elbows to the top of the skull. With Thunderkid wobbly, Leon then grabs hold of the top turnbuckle to keep himself steady... ...and delivers a Roundhouse Kick... ...SENDING THUNDERKID PLUMMETING TO THE MAT BELOW!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Thunderkid comes down hard... and heeeere we go! As TK lands in perfect position, Leon quickly gets his feet... AND DELIVERS THE 450 SPLASH!!!! 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE It's all over! What an impressive victory for Leon Rodez! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLLEEEEEOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!! Weary from the hard-fought battle he's just gone through Leon is helped up off of TK by referee Chioda, who then raises his hand in victory. Leon struggles to stand fully upright, as he turns to one section of the crowd and salutes the fans... ...blissfully unaware of what lies in wait. *CRACK!!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE HEY, what the he- IT'S REJECT!! DAMNIT! Leon drops to the mat after a hard chairshot to the spine, delivering by none other than REJECT who stares down at him. The crowd hurl abuse as Reject continues to stare with sinister intentions at Leon. Referee Chioda yells at Reject to get out of the ring, but a warning swipe of the chair sends him wisely running for cover. "FUCK YOU RE - JECT!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "FUCK YOU RE - JECT!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Not taking his eyes off of Leon, Reject drops the chair on the canvas. He then drops to one knee, watching as Rodez tries to pull himself back up. COLE Come on, get some people out here already, Reject isn't done here! COACH Forget the people, this is payback! COLE Payback!? You've gotta be kidding me! Despite the pleas of the fans Leon does get back up. And as soon as he does Reject grabs him by the shoulder, spinning him around... AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE EULOGY ON THE STEEL CHAIR~!!!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Ugh! Head-first into the chair! Reject stalks over Leon, breathing heavily... ...but before any more damage can be done, QUENTIN BENJAMIN and CHARLIE MOSS sprint to the ring!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Quickly, Reject turns tail and slides out of the ring before the former Tag Team Champions can get a hold of him. Thunderkid gets himself out of the ring too and he and Reject back away, eyes locked with Moss and Benjamin's with threats exchanged between the two teams. Meanwhile Chioda is in to check on Leon who lays flat out on the steel chair. COLE Well thank goodness for Team Heyross, getting out here to run that SOB out of here! Reject's got penance to pay and he might just do that this Sunday night at the hands of Moss and Benjamin! COACH These two morons? They flat out morons, partner! What are they thinking, running out here to save the guy who cost them the World Tag Team Titles? As the threats continue between the Tag Champions and the tag challengers, Benjamin and Moss turn back and look over to Leon for the first time. And with him still yet to have moved, they kneel down to check on him as well. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) Returning from break we find a frazzled looking Alix Maria Spezia, elbow deep in a pile of books. Literally elbow deep. Strewn across the catering table are dozens of wedding magazines, catalogues, catering menus, with dozens of yellow sticky labels stuck in, on and around various pages. Sat with a pen jammed in her mouth deep in concentration is Alix, eyes moving between pages at a furious speed. As she becomes ever more frantic, the books and notes are suddenly swept off the table and replaced with a small tub of strawberry ice-cream. Without so much as a second thought Alix dives in and starts to eat the ice-cream, barely noticing Jade Rodez-Duncan sitting on the table beside her. ALIX Ooh, goody. JADE Ally, are you okay? ALIX Never better. Could have done with some sprinkles though... ooh, confetti, we need confetti! As Alix goes to pick the books back up off the floor Jade jumps in front of them to stop her. ALIX Sweetie, you're either gonna have to go on a crash crash diet real quick or step a little to the left. JADE Look, Alix, you really need to stop obsessing. ALIX I can't! This is my destiny, I want to live it while I'm not dead, you know! And narcotics are some powerful shit lemme tell ya. Krista's all I can think about. Morning, noon, night, that one second period where the clock goes from 11:59 to 0:00 and nobody's quite sure what day it is, but luckily it only lasts a second so it's not long enough for anyone to panic about. Seriously, I'm beginning to wig out here Jade. I can't sleep properly, I'm not eating right. So much so that I can't even put it down to harmless insomnia or anorexia! I even forgot the lyrics to Gettin Hot In Here last week! That shit's classic and I couldn't even remember the words, I just froze up, right in the middle of a hot costume dance number, in front of thousands of people. Something's not right for sure! Alix hides her despair with a mouthful of strawberry ice-cream. ALIX Why aren't you wearing your cheerleader outfit? JADE Because I'm not wrestling tonight? ALIX Oh. We need to get you a 'not-wrestling outfit' in that case. Jade looks down at herself a little concerned. JADE Why... what's wrong with what I'm weari... look, nevermind that, we're talking about you and Mom here. I haven't known Mom for that long really, but I do know you're not going to get her to do something before she's ready. She's a strong, indipendent... kinda stubborn woman. She is her own woman and she answers to nobody. Only person who's gonna get past that is Maya. Have you not thought to ask her for some advice? ALIX Of course! Man, why didn't I think of that? Go to the smart kid first! It all makes so much sense now! Scowling a little, Jade regrets even bothering to try and help. Just as she's about to leave though, something makes her cower back towards the table. Alix quickly stands up... not to help, but seeing an opportunity to finally collect up her wedding plans again... as into shot walks MEGAN SKYE. Megan walks right up to Jade, who backed up against the side of the table tries not to look too worried, despite the situation. MEGAN If it isn't the Cinderella story of the summer. Bad news, Jade. JADE Wha... what's that? MEGAN I just got out of Josie's office. And she agreed, since I pinned you last week, I'm the number one contender for your Women's Championship. So, you're going to be defending your title against me on Sunday night in Cleveland. One on one. Not looking too surprised about this, Jade does look nervous instead as Megan continues to stand just inches from her, staring right at her, with Alix paying little or no attention. MEGAN Welcome to the big leagues little girl. Megan reaches forward... and to her amusement, Jade flinches as she lightly pats her across the cheek a couple of times and walks off. ALIX Ooh, how catty. You think she'd make a good bridesmaid? JADE Alix! ALIX I know, I'm sorry, it's my problem, not yours. Looking flustered Jade tries to settle herself back down, as we go back to Sofa Central. COLE If Megan is trying to play the intimidation game with Jade, then... COACH Then what? Then she's gonna succeed in turning Jade into a quivering mess? Then she's gonna become new Women's Champ on Sunday? Let's be real one time, Jade ain't got no game. COLE Has anyone ever told you that your grammar is awful? COACH Anyone ever told you yo' Momma be ho'in herself out nationwide? COLE Just yesterday several people at the bus stop made it clear to express my mother's cross country habit of prostitution. Why do you ask? COACH Nigga, you gay. Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long long years Stole a many man's soul and his faith Dollar bills engulfed in flames flare across every video screen in the arena, mixing with images of classic American wealth such as Moneymaker's mansion, his vacation ranch in Texas, his numerous cars, his private jets and his hunting expeditions. The audience's hatred flares hotter then the digitized fire as Theodore Moneymaker himself is carried through the parted entrance doors by dutitful attendants. Held aloft on his glimmering golden throne, Moneymaker disregards the venom of the lowly audience, and instead flecks away specks from his luxrious 100% cashmere robe. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome The Bllion Dollar Heir, The Messiah Theodore Moneymaker! The welcome is a frosty one, littered with boos and insults from the Kentucky crowd. The Billion Dollar heir is in no mood to deal with their negativity and orders his throne carriers to silence them as he enters the ring. While his loyal servants work to shush a noisy fanbase, Moneymaker is granted a microphone. COLE Zero Hour comes to us live this Sunday from Celevland, Ohio. We have several title matches including a Heartland Chamber of Hell as well as Moneymaker's arch enemy Krista Isadora Duncan facing off against Mister Dick and his right hand man Christian Wright fighting Bohemoth. But its Theodore Moneymaker promising to drop a bombshell on Zack Malibu. And I'm not the only one who hopes Zack drops a School's Out on him! COACH Malibu is done, he on his last legs. Homeboy couldn't drop a school's out on a baby elephant with sickle cell. "BOOOOOOOO!" MONEYMAKER You're right to boo. You're absolutely right to boo. I understand why you do it, because I want to do it to. I want to boo and curse, and kick and stomp my feet and say enough! Enough of Zack Malibu, I'm as tired of talking about 'em as you are of hearing about 'em. I want to talk about the last game at Yankee Stadium, or the firing of Matt Millen, or my good friend John McCain's plan to stimulate the economy the Clinton era democrats destroyed. And epsouse my theroies on how to improve the National Basketball Association. Here's just a taste: When an inner city youth goes to a bad highschool or grows up in a poor household, schools hold him to lower standard just because he had to work 40 hours a week, take care of his siblings, watch his mom be strung out on drugs while his dad is in prison and his high school didnt have books. Boo-fukkin-hoo. Instead of making this thug pull himself up by his timberland bootstraps, these schools attempt to level the playing field by admitting him with lower grades, lower test scores and essays laced with ebonics. COACH Word up, I ain't trynna be fuckin with webster's dictornary of stupid ass monkey shit just to get into college. MONEYMAKER From now on, every 2 point shot a white guy makes should be worth 3 points, a 3 should be worth 4 points, a free throw is worth 1.5 points. White players should get 8 fouls before they foul out, and they should be credited with an automatic block AND steal before the game starts to compensate for their defensive playmaking weaknesses. The typical white kid might have a few advantages that lead to him doing a better job in school then the black kid.........but he doesnt have nearly as many advantages as the black kid does with basketball. Lets break it down as the following, White kid: Go to college, parents don't make much of money so you take out loans. Graduate making $50,000 a year, you have $40,000 in loans....plus you have to pay taxes because people are on welfare. Black kid: Lebron James gets a 90 million dollar contract from Nike at age 18! COACH Its a shame when hardworking Americans like you and I are left to pay the price for the black man's laziness. COLE "WE WANT ZACK! WE WANT ZACK! WE WANT ZACK!" MONEYMAKER My problem is that Zachary just doesn't take hints all that well, now does he? The man has many, many, flaws, too many for me to go into right now, but I think the biggest is that he just doesn't know when he's not wanted. I lead a team of knights in shinning armor against he and his worthless lapdog Rodez, defeat them with ease, and although he pulled a bull excuse about his little girl, he still came crawling back to the OAOAST. I've ran him down deep into the ground, exposed him as a fraud and he still has the nerve to drag his carcass back to my company for even more whippings and tongue lashings. What's wrong with this moron? Can someone tell me? Is he a masochist, is that his thing? You like to be abused, go hang around Malaysia! BWHAHAHAAH COACH Trill line, sir. Trill line. COLE Trill line? You're just making up terms as you go along. COACH Sucka, quit being a bouncy monk, ol wobbly chuckle plant! MONEYMAKER And that's why I gotta do what I have planned for Zero Hour. Zack hasn't given me any choice, and his In Crowd hasn't given me any choice. Their refusal to leave the OAOAST to the men rightfully deemed to run it is what has caused me and my Enterprise to dig deep into his past and show the world once and for all what type of evil bastard the men who used to be in control of this company have called The Franchise. I wish I didn't have to do this, and Zack, Rodez, and the rest would go quietly away into the night. But they refuse and so they must be destroyed. But, what can I destroy them with? COLE How about facing Zack in a straight one on one match? How about having the guts to do that? MONEYMAKER The options are endless thankfully. Because as few of you are willing to acknowledge, Zack Malibu is one evil, vile little troll. He and his kind have routinley gone above and beyond anything I would ever do in my war to preserve the integrity of this great institution. Zack Malibu has assaulted women, he's turned on his best friends, he's chased talented youngsters out this company, he's put his family in danger, he's held back future superstars, he's given his friends positions they have no business holding, and he has been a detrmient to a company that has at times been a determinet to a network I invest much of my own money into! "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" MONEYMAKER Shut up, all of you! I don't have time to play your little games. Only time for mine, and mine is no game. What I'm playing with is human life and reality. I will show you the reality of Zack Malibu at Zero Hour. But tonight I want to give you a taste of what may come this Sunday. Mackenzie, Christian, and myself spent hours pouring over the worst of Zack Malibu, his most dastardly deeds and what we saw surprised even us. We saw a man, that if he were anyone besides Zack Malibu, would not only be out the OAOAST but rotting inside a jail cell as well. BWAHAHAHAHA! Though there were days worth of footage of that heathen committing his heinous actions, these are only a few of his more violent moments. Please enjoy, because I certainly did not. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! August 8th 2004 The crowd is at a fever pitch, as Northstar stands up and takes the chair into his hands, raising it above his head...but then gets struck with a low blow by Malibu! Northstar drops the chair and falls to his knees, as Zack gets up, his face red with anger as he looks at his old enemy. Malibu takes the chair, and Northstar tries to get his hands up to deflect the shot, but can't... CRACK~! ...and Malibu levels him across the top of the head with a chairshot! Northstar falls backwards, more blood pouring out of the cut, as it's been widened. The blood stains the mat as Northstar rolls onto his stomach, but that doesn't stop Zack, who raises the chair up and brings it down across Northstar's back! And again! And again! And AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Northstar groans in pain after every shot, his spine absorbing the full impact of the blows. Malibu reaches down, pulling Northstar up by the head and leading him into the corner, where he stands him. Northstar, unable to stand on his own, slumps down as Zack backs off, reaching into his pocket for... BRASS KNUX! Malibu slides the brass knuckles onto his hand, and takes Northstar by the head, then viciously pounds on the cut with his right, knux covered hand! Northstar weakly grabs Zack's arm, trying to push him away, but Zack takes him by the head and leads him across the ring before throwing him facefirst into the cage wall! COLE This is a massacre! Somebody stop this! Northstar crawls across the mat, a trail of blood left in his wake, as Malibu picks up the microphone. Seeing NS trying to push himself to his feet, Malibu runs at him and nails him in the ribs with a soccer kick, doubling Northstar over! MALIBU IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED!? IS IT!? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED!? YOU KNOW WHO I AM, NORTHSTAR! YOU KNEW! YOU KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU! I'M ZACK MALIBU, DAMMIT! Zack drops to his knees, rolling Northstar over and again pounding on his forehead with brass knuckle shots. Northstar is COVERED in blood, as his normally flamboyant looks have been replaced by a crimson mask. Malibu pulls him up and walks him over to the wall of the cage that faces the aisleway, and just rakes Northstar's face against the steel mesh, covering it in his blood! MALIBU TAKE A LOOK! WHOEVER IS BACK THERE, LOOK AT HIS FACE! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! THIS IS YOU, CRYSTAL! THIS IS YOU! Malibu delivers a final, sickening rake to Northstar's face before letting him drop to the canvas, tucking his head to try and avoid any further damage Angleslam 2004 Malibu sits up, and looks over his shoulder at the Female Phenom, who yet again is motionless on the canvas. After catching his breath, Malibu stands up, cringing as he walks on his bad legs, and stands over Crystal. He then nudges her body with his foot, but doesn't get a response, as she appears to be out of it. Malibu circles her, running his hands through his blood soaked hair and looking down at Crystal before he snaps, and begins stomping her repeatedly! Crystal's body bounces as it takes each stomp, and Malibu goes wild, driving his foot into her body as he screams at her. "YOU MADE ME DO THIS! YOU MADE ME THE BAD GUY!" Malibu continues stomping, as the fans boo and plead with him to stop. "IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF!" OAOAST HeldDOWN April 29th 2004 Zack tells Calvin to set the chair up, which he does, and then sets Crystal in it. Zack retreats to the floor, scooping up his World Title belt that he threw down as he was apparently making the save for Crystal. Crystal sits in a daze, her eyes 3/4 of the way closed, and if it weren't for Cal holding her in place, she'd fall out of the chair. COLE What are they doing to this poor girl? Malibu comes over to her with the title, and starts taunting her with it, calling her every name in the book, and a few new ones. Malibu asks "if she understands", and Calvin shakes her head as if she's saying "no", so Malibu backs up, then jumps forward, drilling Crystal in the forehead with a beltshot! COLE My God stop it! Just stop it Zack! Anglepalooza 2007 Bruce Blank struggles, and can't move, as his hands are trapped behind him! Malibu goes and retrieves the chair, and hie picks it up, moving towards Blank to lay waist to him...but Bruce kicks Zack in the stomach, then kicks both of his legs off the mat and kicks the chair into Malibu's face! COLE Son of a...! Zack's weak, we knows he's weak, but he can't let Bruce Blank get the better of him. Blank twists and wriggles, and finally winds up snapping belt buckle from the belt itself, freeing himself from Zack's trap. Noticing Zack trying to get up, Blank hits a soccer style kick to his ribcage, doubling him over, before he again reaches into his pocket. COLE What the hell's he got...IS THAT A LIGHTER!? To answer Cole's question, it is indeed a lighter, as Blank shows it to the crowd by taking Malibu's OAOAST shirt and SETS FIRE TO IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! COACH Aw damn...DAMN! COLE Get up Zack, come on, please! Candie shrieks, which is music to Bruce's ears as he approaches Malibu, who is groggy on the mat... ...AND WHO COMES UP WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT OUT OF NOWHERE, DROPPING BRUCE BLANK LIKE A GUNSHOT~! COLE SCHOOL'S OUT! SCHOOL'S OUT! Malibu quickly crawls for the lighter, as Blank checks to see if his jaw is still in place. Zack can barely move, having exhausted what little energy he had on that superkick, and he and Blank come up to their feet together... FWOOSH~! ...AND ZACK THROWS A FIREBALL INTO THE FACE OF BRUCE BLANK~! "YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" Blank screams the loudest anyone's ever heard, as he's met with scorching hot fire, right in the face! Blank goes into shock, kicking his legs and flailing his arms, patting his face and screaming even louder as the flesh melts! Malibu goes over and grabs the now-frantic monster and takes him by the head, leading him towards the wall of the cage... ...AND STARTS RAKING HIS BURNING FLESH ON THE WALL OF THE CAGE~!? COACH Oh man, oh MAN! "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Malibu takes it to him, not letting up, as Bruce's blackened flesh starts peeling off, the cage digging through the tender skin and cutting down to bone! "AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH!" OAOAST HeldDOWN May 11th 2006 Bloodshed and Blank quickly double up on Jax, putting the boots to him against the guardrail, while Zack pulls O'Hara up...and gets a low blow! He staggers as Jamie backs away and goes to pick up his chair, but as he turns around Zack reaches for the broadcast table, grabbing Jamie's 40 oz... ...and BUSTS THE BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD~! COACH YO~! COLE My God, there's glass everywhere, and Jamie O'Hara has been busted open! The cameras focus in on the fallen flyer, head dripping with blood due to Zack's actions, while Malibu just stands over him, sneering. Suddenly, Malibu snaps out of it, looking down at the glass shrapnel, and picks up a shard...then falls to his knees and starts carving Jamie O'Hara's forehead! COLE This is...NO! Zack, NO! STOP~! O'Hara screams loudly as Malibu takes the shard of glass and opens him up even further, then goes to work on the cut, punching it until his own hand is stained with blood! He then takes O'Hara by the head and hurls him, headfirst, into the side of the commentator's table, causing blood to smear all over the side of it! CABOOSE Zack, c'mon Zack, that's enough! COLE He's snapped! Static, Jax, O'Hara, they've pushed him over the edge! All of a sudden, Caboose gets out of his chair to a HUGE POP, pushing past Michael Cole and prying Malibu away from O'Hara, saying "ENOUGH!" as loud as can be. Cortez, who has recovered, pushes Caboose back, but instead of striking fear in his heart, it draws the former World Champion closer into a staredown! Blank and Bloodshed come over and stand behind Cortez, but now Zack pulls Caboose away and stands himself in the middle, trying to calm things down! COACH C'mon 'boose, smack 'em with your bat! I got it right here! COLE Coach, shut up! As Caboose argues with the Wildcards and Malibu, various staff hit ringside to help O'Hara, who is dripping blood all over the floor, no thanks to Zack. James Blonde and Faqu are among the people who rush out to see what's going on, and now they side with Caboose, directing their anger towards Zack and his newfound allies! COLE We've got a volatile situation here! We've got two men down, one bleeding...excessively! We've got Zack Malibu trying to keep the peace, but that...that's tough to do when you're the reason for it all! OAOAST HeldDOWN August 3rd 2006 Malibu charges towards The Wildcards again, and Blank has the gall to put his two hands up and beg off, as security forms a wall again, preventing Zack from getting to The Wildcards. Malibu's face is red, as he is fuming, having to stare at the man who was ballsy enough to enter his home and corner his girlfriend and daughter act like a coward. Without hesistation, Malibu starts pushing cops and bodyguards aside, scattering them around as he tries to get to Bruce Blank! COLE He's fighting everyone! He wants Bruce Blank and The Wildcards! Malibu struggles, but again his tackled by the waist and this time taken to the canvas by security, who pin him to the mat! The Wildcards stand back and let security do their work, as one of the LAPD officers says to hold Zack down, as they plan on handcuffing him. Zack seems to calm down and oblige as he's rolled onto his back, but as they go for his arms, he jolts upward, grabbing the cop by the waist and then shoving him to the canvas, as he's got something in his hand. ZACK MALIBU HAS JUST STOLEN THE OFFICERS GUN. COLE Coach... COACH Oh my God. Malibu spins around and waves the gun, pointing it squarely at The Wildcards. His lip quivering, his body trembling, Malibu extends his arm out, pointing the gun in the direction of one man, and one man only. Bruce Blank. The entire arena is silent, as you could hear a pin drop amdist the chaos everyone is seeing right now. Emotion overtakes Zack, as tears fall from his eyes despite the grim determination in his eyes...the intent on gaining revenge for his family. Blank, for the first time we've ever seen, is white as a ghost as he's looking down the barrel of a gun. Malibu coldly stares at Blank, his demeanor doing all the talking while he keep him at bay. Police and security continue trying to talk Malibu down, not wanting anything irrational, or even fatal, to happen. Malibu slowly steps back, still clutching the gun in his hand, although his arm begins to shake. One of the LAPD comes over to him and slowly lowers his arm, then takes the gun from him, as he's spun around and handcuffed. A sigh of relief is breathed by everyone in attendance, as what could have happened didn't. Malibu is lowered to the canvas and then rolled out under the bottom rope in handcuffs, and led up the aisleway, out of the arena. The fans, the staff...everyone and anyone look on as Zack Malibu, the OAOAST poster boy, the former World Champion, and a father of a newborn babygirl, faces the ultimate in public humilation. While the men who accosted his family remain free and clear of any wrongdoing. FADE OUT. We return to live action with the audience vhemently booing as Moneymaker's lips form a large smile over the display he just showcased. COACH Videotape doesn't lie, Mikey. Zack did all those things and more, Mister Moneymaker actually went easy on the guy. Wouldn't want to upset his precious little daughter, woluld we? COLE Just shut up. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHHAHA! There's your viterious hero in all his glory! The Franchise Zack Malibu, the pride of Rhode Island, the pride of the OAOAST. Loving father, doting husband, woman beater, psychopath, and gun toting maniac. Be objective and ask yourself what is Zack Malibu really here for? To serve the betterment of the OAOAST or to fuel his own ego and bring harm to anyone who threatens him? Did Jamie O'Hara deserve to have glass driven through his skull? Did Northstar deserve to have his career ended? Did Crystal deserve to be brutalized for months on end? Did Bruce Blank and the Wildcards deserve to have a GUN pulled on them? Say what you will about the circumstances surronding each of those incidents, but Zack Malibu has crossed the line one too many times. The Enterprise intends on finally having his past catch up to him. The results won't be pretty. "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" sing the audience, still very much in support of the former world champion. Moneymaker doesn't look pleased with the vocal support for the man he's viciously slandering in the ring...and is all the more surprised at their joyous reaction when SLY SOMMERS walks down the aisle! COLE Well, the fans are chanting for Zack, but they're getting another In Crowd member right now! COACH Because Zack is afraid to come face to face with the facts, Cole! Sommers gets in the ring and requests a mic, while Moneymaker stands with arms folded, silently questioning his appearance. SOMMERS First off, let's clear one thing up right here, right now. Yes, Zack Malibu is back there, and he would like nothing more than to come out here and kick your ass from corner to corner RIGHT NOW. The fans roar, and Moneymaker simply raises an eyebrow. SOMMERS I know that's what the fans want, I certainly know that's what us in the back want...and honestly, Moneymaker, it has to be what you want, because everything you say and do just BEGS for an ass kicking! Moneymaker scowls, as Sly continues. SOMMERS I'm going to try to be diplomatic here tonight. I'm trying to be the voice of reason, and I even asked Zack myself that I handle this matter. Because nobody...NOBODY...in this company knows more about Zack's supposed "bad side" than me. You talk about young stars run out of the company by Malibu? That was me. You talk about friends that Malibu turned on and left high and dry? That was me? You sit here and show clips of the Zack Malibu of years ago, asking these fans how could they tolerate such actions? They DIDN'T, because the Zack Malibu of today is NOT the same man of years past. It's true, Zack's always had somewhat of an ego...you tell me someone who has everything he has that wouldn't. He's a good looking guy, has a beautiful girlfriend, a beautiful baby daughter... MONEYMAKER That he had OUT OF WEDLOCK, Sly! SOMMERS ...is that ALL you have? You pull up footage of Zack's purported wrongdoings, which he was doing AS A HEEL, Theodore! He wasn't pretending to be the pride of the OAOAST when those things happened! Beating down Crystal, shunting me out the door and onto my ass, attacking Leon, carving people up...Zack was certainly NOT the same guy he is today. Call it a phase, call it a dark side, call it what you will, but the fact is you are trying to use things against Zack that he himself would tell you he's not proud of! As for the gun incident, you want to use that one against him? Then you look me in the eye and tell me that if a group of maniacs like The Wildcards went after YOUR family, what would you do? Would you use your money to just buy back the bad memories of it all? Would you pay off those guys to make sure they never did it again? Or would you want nothing more than to see them on the receiving end of a scare after what they did? Wouldn't you WANT to make them pay? MONEYMAKER This isn't about me, Sly! Don't try to spin this one back on me to protect your friend from what he really is...a FRAUD. Let's consider that you're right...that maybe I didn't pick the best examples of showing Zack at his worst. Does that negate the fact that he's got an unwed mother sitting at home with a daughter he barely sees after being on the road day in and day out, wrestling matches, making appearances, and being the golden boy for this company? Does it erase the fact that he's associating with some of the lowest of the low and presenting them as role models for these people? Is he really trying to push a former porn star like Leon Rodez or a washed-up ex-junkie like YOU on the viewing audience as pillars of society? I will not, I CANNOT let that happen! Sly seems flustered by the attack on his character, but does his best to keep under control. SOMMERS Once again, Moneymaker, you're bringing to light things that the public already knows. Leon's past and my past are certainly not secrets. Now let me tell you something...if you want to use someone's past against them, look no further than Sly Sommers. But when you do it, know that I take full responsibility for my actions. I'm not proud of what I once was, but it was the respect and the faith that people like Zack Malibu had in me that restored me to what you see before you. I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm BACK in the OAOAST. I'm accepted by my peers again. I'm accepted by these fans again. You walk around here flashing hundred dollar bills, looking for the easy way out by using your resources, never wanting to fight your battles. You buy people off to do your dirty work. You couldn't even be bothered to step into the ring for an actual match at Zero Hour, you had to lure Zack into this "face off" where you're going to make him confront his past? It's a nice way of saying that you're too much of a chickenshit to face him one on one! MONEYMAKER I mock Zack, YOU come out here, and I'M the chickenshit? SOMMERS Had Zack told me not to come out here, I still wouldn't have listened...because people need to hear it from someone other than Zack about what kind of person he really is. Not someone like you, who fears him, maybe is a little jealous of him? No, they need to hear it from someone who was at his absolute worst, and turned his back on friends and family alike, yet was pulled up from that gutter by Zack Malibu. Zack Malibu helped me get my second chance, Moneymaker, and I fully intend on cashing in on it. MONEYMAKER Cashing in? Tremendous work with the pun there, Sly Sommers...but something tells me you're second chance is about to be cut short in quick fashion. Moneymaker drops his mic, and starts rolling his sleeves up, as if he's ready for a fight. Sommers, impressed with Moneymaker's willingness to finally face someone one on one, starts rolling up his sleeves...BUT THEN GETS HIT WITH A CHOP BLOCK FROM DETECTIVE BOSLEY~! COLE What the hell! Fight fair, Moneymaker! COACH Life ain't fair Mikey Cole...that's why he's got the dolla dollas to make it worth his while! Sly crumbles, clutching his knee and screaming in pain, while Moneymaker starts putting the boots to him. Bosley rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair, folding it up and sliding it into the ring. Moneymaker picks it up, and then slams the chair across the same knee that Bosley took out from under Sly! COLE What a rat bastard! Sly Sommers...his knee could be seriously damaged from this attack! Moneymaker grabs the chair and holds it longways, looking to drive the edge of it into Sly's knee...but the crowd comes to life with applause, as ZACK MALIBU hits the ring in a fury! Moneymaker and Bosley scatter as soon as The Franchise slides into the ring, and rather than chase them off, he rushes to tend to his friend. COACH Moneymaker's the coward, but he's right there and Zack's not making a go at him! COLE He's tending to his friend, Coach! Sly Sommers is hurt! Sly mouths "my knee" to Zack and it's caught on camera, as Malibu looks his ally over. Malibu waves the EMT's on, and as they start to tend to Sly, he picks up one of the fallen mics. MALIBU MONEYMAKER! Let me tell you something, you son of a bitch. You've got a problem with me and that's fine...but you want to use my friends and my family to bait me? To try to lure me out? I was going to be at Zero Hour no matter what. I'm ready to "face my past" or whatever you have planned...but if you think you're walking out of that arena Sunday night without getting your ass handed to you, whether it's in the ring, in the back, in the parking lot...you've got another thing coming! You bring your Enterprise, you bring your money...but so help me God you better keep some in your pocket for your medical bills, because you just brought hell down on yourself! Zack drops the mic, as Moneymaker and Bosley scowl from the aisleway. Zack goes and stands by Sly as he's loaded onto a stretcher, and we fade out with the visual of the In Crowd member being carried off, hopefully not seriously hurt. COLE Its not been a good night for The In Crowd. That's for sure. COACH It ain't been a good year! Yo, this stable ain't nothin but a bunch of ol mush mouth hard luck herbs! The only thing seperatin these dudes from The All American Boys is fools is still thinking they got shine. Ya'll ain't got no shine, you'll ain't gettin no bitches, ya'll ain't makin no moves. Ya'll the anti shine. Ya'll dull. Ya'll dull a nigga down. Ol suck ass suckas, I seen crippled babies gettin more paper stacks than you. These the type of dudes who get exlaxed in the lunch room and get they shittin escapades broadcast up on Youtube. Go to break, I ain't respectin these In Crowd bums. COLE Why is your grammar so, so bad? Just answer me. Please. COMING UP NEXT HEARTLAND CHAMBER OF HELL PREVIEW MATCH FAQU, BOSLEY, AND SANDMAN VS DENZEL SPENCER, FELIX STRUTTER, BROCK AUSSTIN NEXT COMMERCIAL Edited September 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) The show returns, with Punishment by BIOHAZARD playing and Brock Ausstin walking towards the ring. COLE And we're back on HeldDOWN for our six-man tag team match, as Brock Ausstin makes his entrance! Brock hops onto the apron and jerks back on the ropes, causing pyro to explode from all four corners. COLE And of course, Colombian Heat originally scheduled to be in this match, but due to his condition, is being held out by OAOAST President Josie Baker until the Chamber of Hell at Zero Hour, and replaced by Denzel Spencer for this match! Brock steps through the ropes, then gives high tens to his teammates, "After Hours" Felix Strutter and Denzel Spencer. The camera then focuses on the other corner, which features Sandman9000, Faqu, and Detective Tango Bosley. COACH And interesting on the other side, you have one member of the Deadly Alliance, one member of the Enterprise, and one member of Cucaracha International all on one team! COLE And of course, there's a big power struggle between the stables in the OAOAST, so it'll be interesting to see how this team co-exists! COACH You know, that's another thing I've wondered...you've got a Deadly Alliance guy, an Enterprise guy, a Cucaracha guy in this Chamber match...why doesn't the In-Crowd have anyone in this match? Too dangerous, they were afraid of gettin' hurt out there? What's the deal there? COLE No, I think that Brock was just so impressive in that battle royal, and he, Felix, and Heat have all had impressive showings in the Chamber in the past, and that stuff is taken into account when naming the participants for the Chamber match! It was a contention issue. COACH Yeah yeah, contention, the In-Crowd is runnin' scared! Well, three of the four members are. I don't think Sly's gonna be doin much runnin thanks to Bosley. Sly is wheelchairn scared! He crutchin' scared! He usin' his walker scared! Denzel starts off for his team, as does Tango Bosley, and the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And Denzel is going to start the match for his team, along with Detective Tango Bosley representing the Enterprise! I can't believe he has the nerve to stand out here after what he just did to Sly Sommers. Sickening. Denzel and Bosley tie up, then Bosley backs him into the ropes, and lays in a shot to the gut. Bosley attempts an Irish whip, but Denzel reverses, as Felix steps into the ring. Both Denzel and Felix leapfrog Bosley, then catch him with a double hiptoss! COACH Come on, ref, get someone out of there! Felix then hits a snap legdrop, as Denzel simultaneously hits a senton splash! Brock then jumps into the ring, and intercepts Faqu with right hands, while Felix cuts off Sandman. Brock clotheslines Faqu to the floor, while Felix and Denzel hit stereo dropkicks on Sandman and Bosley, respectively! COLE And so far, it's the team of Brock, Felix and Denzel with all the cohesiveness! Sandman, Bosley, and Faqu look up at the ring, then Bosley rolls back in, with Felix meeting him inside. COLE And now it's "After Hours" Felix Strutter in the ring, with Bosley coming back in for his team! Felix and Bosley move in, and Bosley delivers a foot to the gut, then hammers away on the back. He sets him up in the corner, then attempts an Irish whip. Felix reverses, but Bosley hops to the second rope, then fakes out Strutter. COLE Nice agility by the big man Bosley, and a nice fakeout! However, when Bosley jumps, he gets caught with a fist to the gut from Felix! COLE But Felix was waiting on him! Faqu starts to step through the ropes, and gets caught with a dropkick! However, this allows Bosley to clothesline Felix from behind! COLE But that momentary distraction allowed Bosley to gain an advantage! Faqu gets back on the apron, and Bosley tags him in. Faqu whips Felix across, then floors him with a body attack! COACH Faqu just running him over! Faqu then turns and tags in Sandman, who backs Felix into the corner, and delivers right hands, then drags him into a neutral corner and rams him into a buckle. He sets Felix up, then attempts an Irish whip. Felix reverses, then charges, but Sandman moves out of the way! Sandman grabs him by the head, and tags in Faqu, who comes in and delivers a headbutt, then drops to the mat for a headbutt, but Felix rolls out of the way, then tags Denzel! COLE Nobody home on that headbutt, and Denzel back in there now! Denzel springs in, catching Faqu with a dropkick on the way over, then runs to the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and floors Faqu with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout with AUTHORITY~! COACH But look at the power on that kickout! Denzel then comes back and grabs Faqu in a side headlock. COLE But Denzel not backing down! Faqu shoves Denzel across, where Bosley waits on the floor and grabs his foot. Denzel turns and kicks at Bosley, then turns back around in time for Faqu to trap one arm, and take him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH Yeah! COLE And a big suplex from Faqu! COACH And some nice teamwork there between him and Bosley! Faqu covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Faqu then tags in Bosley, and the two join up for an Irish whip, catching Denzel with a double chop! COLE And another nice double-team! Bosley stomps away on Denzel, then tags in Sandman, and the two pick up Denzel, and drop him throat-first across the ropes! Sandman then resumes the stomping, then backs him into the corner and executes BOOT SCRAPES~! COLE And Sandman with those boot laces right across the face of Denzel Spencer! Sandman then executes a snapmare, followed by a seated dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman chokes Denzel on the mat, as the referee lays a count in, releasing at four. He then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Denzel ducks a clothesline, and catches him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman gets to his feet, and drives an elbow in to the back of the head, then tags in Faqu. Faqu comes in, and drops a headbutt on Denzel, then another! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Denzel keeps kicking out! Faqu tags in Bosley, who comes in and sets up a suplex, but Denzel rolls him up in a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Denzel almost stole this one! Bosley stomps away on Denzel, then goes over and takes a shot at Brock on the apron, drawing him inside! COACH And look at that smart move by Bosley! Brock drawn into the ring, and that allows a double team! Bosley holds back Denzel, as Faqu unloads with chops, then lifts Spencer, and executes the LONG ARMS OF THE LAW~! COACH Wow, that could be it right there, Cole! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But no, Denzel comes out again! Bosley this time goes after Felix, then Faqu comes in once again. Bosley holds Denzel...but this time, Denzel moves, and Bosley eats a thrust kick from Faqu! COACH Oh no! COLE Faqu kicking his partner! Denzel pulls himself to his corner, but instead of trying to stop him, Bosley makes his way over to Faqu as the two argue! COACH Oh, come on guys! COLE And it looks like it's all falling apart! Denzel makes the tag to Brock! COLE And here comes Brock Ausstin! Bosley and Faqu continue to argue, then turn their attention to Brock, as Bosley shoves Faqu into him! Brock fires off right hands, but Faqu hits a thrust to the throat! Faqu then sets up an Irish whip, but Brock blocks, then pulls him in for an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE BIG suplex on the 300-pounder! However, Sandman comes off the top, and hits Brock from behind with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COLE But Sandman with a dropkick from behind! Sandman hammers away on Brock, who fights back to his feet, and a slugfest ensues, until Bosley charges in with a clothesline...which accidentally nails Sandman! COLE And again, miscommunication between partners! Brock goes for a clothesline, but Bosley ducks, and executes SERVING HARD TIME~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel and Felix hammer Faqu on the outside, as Sandman rolls back inside with a kendo stick. Bosley hooks Brock in a front facelock, and signals for the end...but Sandman clobbers him with the kendo stick! COACH Oh no! COLE And that was no accident right here! Sandman departs the ring, as Brock gets to his feet, scooping Bosley up...and executing the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE And the F-Stunner-5! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE He got him! BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of DENZEL SPENCER, "AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER, and BRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Sandman departs down the aisle, not looking back, as Brock celebrates in the ring, while Denzel and Felix roll in and raise his arms. Faqu stands on the outside and screams at the winning team, while Bosley comes to and storms back stage, yelling Sandman's name. COACH Boy, is Bosley steamed! Go on and find Sly, he still got another leg you can jack up! COLE You can bet Bosley will remember that shot this Sunday in the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! But tonight, the win goes to Brock Ausstin and his teammates, Denzel Spencer and Felix Strutter! Let's go to... HELL! ya'll dudes is fucked now me and christ is like *this* Edited September 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) COLE Let's go backstage to Melissa Nerdly, she's got an update on the condition of Leon Rodez. As we cut to the back, we find Melissa stood outside the trainer's room which is being guarded closely by a member of security. You know, just incase. MELISSA Well, I WILL have an update once this dude steps outta my way. Look, I gotta get in there bub'. SECURITY They're working on someone. MELISSA I know they are. He's my boyfriend. .....huh!? SECURITY Is that so? MELISSA Yeah. Nerdly chick with the microphone? Don't you watch this show or something? SECURITY Of course, I'm sorry. The security guard steps aside and Melissa goes right on in. There, we find a very groggy looking Leon Rodez, laid out on the trainer's bench. The trainer shines a bright light into his eyes and seems happy enough that no lasting damage has been done it would seem. Melissa goes over and barges in while the trainer is busy across the room, placing a comforting hand on Leon's bare chest as he looks around wondering what's going on. LEON Maggie? MELISSA Leon, are you okay? LEON Wha... I'm fine. Just a splitting headache. MELISSA Oh my, that's a relief to hear, because it looked like Reject got you real good out there. Can you try to describe to the people at home what happened, if you're not too hurt? Distracted by the hand on his chest, Leon shifts around a little until Melissa gets the message that there's in-depth reporting and there's crossing the line. LEON I think it was pretty obvious... Reject got me with a Eulogy. After that, I dunno, it's a little hazy at the moment. But I guess I walked right into the trap, didn't I? It's a step up from attacking women, I suppose. MELISSA Well, we're all really glad to hear you're doing okay Leon. Michael, Coach, we're gonna let Leon get some peace now, let's take it back to you guys. Melissa continues to comfort a still dis-orientated Leon as we go back to Sofa Central. COACH Damn, that girl gets results, huh? COLE You could say that, yes. Folks, we'll be back with a six person bout after this! COMING UP NEXT KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN AND LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO VS MISTER DICK AND PANIC AT THE DISCO! (NOT THE BAND) NEXT! COMMERCIAL THIS SUNDAY/MONDAY/TUESDAY AT THE LATEST ONLY ON PAY PER VIEW!! LANDON SAYS IF YOU WERE SMART YOU'D WATCH GENESIS. BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY STUPID SO YOU MOST LIKELY WON'T Edited September 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) A multi-color disco ball lowers as "Rock Your Baby" hits, but with the lyrics to "My Dick" to create a funky fresh remix titled "Rock My Dick Baby" that's bound for the next OAOAST: The Music CD release. BUFFER The following 6-person special attraction is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by MALAYSIA NERDLY and TONY TOURETTES, at a total combine weight of 686 pounds, the team of BBIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF ATLAS, "THE DISCO DUCK" VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNYYYYYYYYYY VALENTINE and MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEERRRRR DICK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" His teammates posing onstage under a golden shower of pyro, Biff Atlas maintains his distance to avoid a Michael Jackson/James Hetfield type of accident, which shouldn’t be too hard in the HAZMAT SUIT he’s wearing. COLE What is this?! COACH A man who's resourceful. Not only is Biff protected from stray pyro, but also infectious diseases carried by the likes of Los Diablos de Fuego. You might say that suit's AIDS tested and Biff approved! COLE I apologize for those remarks, ladies and gentlemen. COACH How come? Nobody apologizes when people make STD jokes about guys like Mr. Dick and Ned Blanchard. Why is that? Because they're straight? That's hypocrisy, Mikey Cole. Homosexuals may be a cleaner people but they're not that clean. Besides, the last couple of times Los Diablos and Biff have come in contact, they've practically tried to sodomize him! Once ringside Biff Atlas produces a TAPE MEASURE and determines the security barricade isn't 10 feet from the ring and orders that it be fixed ASAP or he'll have the event stopped. COLE He can't do that! COACH Of course he can. Biff wasn't appointed Health and Safety Officer of the OAOAST for nothing. COLE Self-appointed I might add. As referee Clem Buzzlefoxer and other OAOAST officials -- timekeeper, road agents, etc --correct the violations ringside, plays in our next team moving and grooving inside a block of neon oval cut outs (watch the video to see exactly what I mean). BUFFER And their opponents. First, at a total combine weight of 340 pounds, the sexiest team in AAAAALL of Mexico... MORACCA and MARIACHI... LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO! And their partner, hailing from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into the Hollywood Walk of Fame and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos in addition to being the star of the VH1 reality show The Look of Love and the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, here she is… "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KRISTA ISADORAAAAAA DDUUUUUUUUUUUNNCAN!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Krista and Los Diablos burst on the pink and yellow lit stage where they are joined by an assortment of ethnically diverse female dancers. To the ring they go, slapping hands along the way like any baby face worth his or her salt. COLE Fans, before our match begins, I want to quickly remind you that Krista will be competing tomorrow night on the huge SWF super card Genesis against Chance Silver. COACH An event brought to you by Landon Maddix. COLE I knew you'd work that in somehow. But ladies and gentlemen, if you order Genesis and Zero Hour later that weekend, you can get $10 off your Zero Hour purchase by sending a copy of your cable or satellite bill to: OAOAST PPV Deal P.O. Box 149 New York, New York 10027 In the ring, Krista has the mic. KRISTA We're here, we're queer, and honey, we're ready to kick some rear! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Not to be outdone, Vinny Valentine gives his team's response. VINNY (Travolta-esque laugh) Well, sweet cheeks, we're young, we're hung, and when it's all said and done your bells will have been rung! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vinny strikes that familiar Saturday Night Fever pose and gets smacked upside the head by Krista! "Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it." Vinny whines. "She hits my hair." Clem shrugs as if to say "What do you want me to do about it?" "You can tell her not to hit my hair." COLE I guess we can add mind reader along with dancing fool to Vinny's résumé. COACH What Krista did was uncalled for, Cole. Hitting Vinny in the hair is like kicking a man in the family jewels. It's wrong. But what's right is an appearance from ALIX MARIA SPEZIA. Wearing a sexy soccer referee uniform, the Princess of Los Angeles rides in on a...ZEBRA!?! COACH Oh, great. Here comes Woody Allen's fantasy. A child-like female of legal age. COLE I'm more concerned about the zebra loose in the arena. I hope it's tamed. Alix skips inside for a consultation with referee Clem Buzzlefoxer and ring announcer Michael Buffer. Lost staring at Alix's bosoms, Clem nods...and nods...and nods. "So we're, like, cool and stuff?" she asks. * drools * "Wow, you must really be thirsty, or this job's harder than I thought." "Yes," says the mouth watery World War II vet, "hard." COACH Clem, you senile old pervert. Wrestling's only true senior official is escorted to his timekeeper's table seat, then an official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your referee for this contest... ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MR. DICK/VINNY/BIFF COLE So much for their 4 ½ advantage. COACH 4 ½? I count 5. Hey, there's no need for that cheap shot on Tony Tourettes. I bet he could take you in a fight. Malaysia warns Alix to call it by the rules with the crack of her cat 'o-nines tail, which the Hollywood Bad Girl rightfully interprets as a threat and issues her a... GOLD AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD!?! Apparently it's supposed to represent a yellow caution card in soccer, but its too plain for Alix's taste. MALAYSIA "OK, you know what? I'm not feeling a connection between us, so YOU'RE OUTTA HERE" The dreaded RED CARD (actually Jade's Target card but Krista took it away because Duncan girls don't pay for items/clothes, they're celebrities) makes its pro wrestling debut and Malaysia is none too happy. Neither is Tony Tourettes. TONY BITCH! CUNT! WHORE! STARFUCKER! ALIX (moans w/pleasure) Oooooh, yeah, I so am. (staring at Krista) (to Tony) Anyway, red card for you to, Ricky Retardo. COLE Oh, my. Tony Tourettes has also been ejected from ringside! COACH Alix is making Joey Crawford look like a Sunday school teacher. But who is she to call someone else retarded? That's like... Well, it's like something. Vinny calms his cousin outside as Mr. Dick has a few choice words for Alix, only to be grabbed in a REVERSE BLUE BALL SPECIAL~! MR. DICK * DINGDINGDING * COLE And we're officially underway. COACH Yeah, after that underhanded tactic. The Human Hard On manages to get behind Krista and takes her down in a waistlock, then floats on top and proceeds to HUMP HER HEAD! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Once finished Mr. Dick lies across the top turnbuckle pretending to enjoy a cigarette. Fuming mad, Krista sprints ahead and punts the Cock Prick in the air, causing him to CROTCH himself on the top rope! "GFQWFQWIYAHAAAH!" (re-read last week's pose down to understand its meaning) Krista shakes the top rope until Mr. Dick springs back inside, then she traps him in the corner and unloads from the middle rope. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... Mr. Dick answers with an inverted atomic drop, but since chicks have no dicks it has little effect. Guys do, though, and sporting a facial expression that says "bitch, please," the Nortorious K.I.D. kicks the narcissistic SOB in the balls and delivers a WSDDDT(write shit down DDT)! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Krista pulls a tube of lipstick from within her top and scribbles the following message: SWF GENESIS FEATURING: KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS SWF LEGEND CHANCE SILVER SEPTEMBER 26TH ON PPV Yes, all that. Krista is a woman of extraordinary talent. Now the cover. ONE... TWO... NO! Krista moves and Vinny drops an elbow on MD! As Vinny apologizes to his partner Krista slaps him upside the head. Again. "Hey, what did I tell ya about my hair?" he shouts. "You told me to watch it." "Right. And whatcha do?" "I hit it." "She hit my hair. She hit my hair, referee lady." Alix ponders the testimony heard and rules in favor of Vinny, issuing Krista a yellow card to her astonishment. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "But, baby," Krista pleads. "Uh-uh-uh. I'm nobody's baby. I am the referee in charge." Alix retorts, pointing to the zebra still ringside. KRISTA "Oh, you really know how to melt my heart. OK, yellow card rescinded." COACH The hell?! Who's Krista sleeping with to get a call... Oh, never mind. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Seeing how Krista charmed herself out of a yellow card, Vinny naturally thinks a cool cat like himself can get Alix to overturn her decision...again. His best puppy dog face on display, he struts up to Alix and receives a yellow card! "That's for thinking I'm stupid, stupid." Vinny's really now, and a DOUBLE DROPKICK from Los Diablos doesn't help matters! Out to the floor he goes and face to face he comes with the zebra, which becomes attracted to Vinny's zebra pattern bellbottoms! COLE We're about 30 seconds from broadcasting live on Animal Planet, fans. Vinny dashes to his corner. Luckily for him, the animal handlers intervene before the zebra could give chase. Inside, Mr. Dick gains control, clubbing Krista from behind and then wiping out Los Diablos with a clothesline! COACH Who's kicking rear now, Cole? COLE Krista and Los Diablos got caught paying attention to what was going on outside. Not that I can blame them. Back on the apron, Vinny wants the tag and gets it, then plays a painful version of Dance Dance Revolution on Krista while shouting "for my hair!" The Disco Duck then grabs a handful of Krista's, but as he's about to yank back he's elbowed in the gut. Doubled over, he watches Krista go by and tag Moracca. But he gets both Diablos and the homies don't hug, they LICK the side of his face ala the Bushwhackers! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mariachi exits as Moracca wrings the arm of Vinny Valentine, but Vinny responds in kind and is hip tossed. The Vin-Man complains about the use of tights, and like a good referee should Alix questions Moracca about it. COACH Good luck with that. Like he's gonna admit to it. Cleared of any wrongdoing, the action resumes with both men locking up, and Vinny lands a forearm to the side of the face. He then whips Moracca across and charges in, but the flaming luchador floats over the top of him and sprints to the opposite far corner. Vinny follows but drops down as Moracca leaps onto the middle rope, only to foolishly pop up and point out how smart he is. When he turns around he's by a pair of boots courtesy of a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE Vinny might be missing a few teeth after that one. He got caught good there. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Moracca signals for the Fameasser, but Vinny blocks the kick that sets it up and taunts the flamboyant masked man. ENZURIGI~! COLE That's what Vinny gets for his cockiness. Vinny wanders to the wrong part of town and gets nailed by Krista and Mariachi before getting placed in an arm wringer that has his free hand used to rub Moracca's genitals! COACH Poor Vinny's getting a lot of cock now, isn't he, Cole? Freaking out, the Disco Duck heads to the ropes to force a break and tags a reluctant Biff Atlas. Hazmat suit and all, the self appointed Health and Safety Officer of the OAOAST clearly would rather not be in the ring with either Diablo. "BIFF IS A WHIP!" "BIFF IS A WHIP!" "BIFF IS A WHIP!" COACH Whatever happened to southern hospitality? Upset by the chant, Biff grabs the mic. BIFF Excuse me, but I am not a whip. I remind you that professional wrestling is a very dangerous sport. Simply walking across the ring could lead to a torn quadriceps. So I ask that you please refrain from calling me a whip. However, if you wish to be vocal I suggest it be something constructive such as "SAFETY FIRST! SAFETY FIRST! SAFETY FIRST!" As Biff unsuccessfully leads the crowd in chant, Los Diablos make the exchange. Mariachi coming up the rear to sweep Biff off his feet and ride him like a pony, slapping that ass while wearing the HASO's hazmat helmet and yelling "Giddy up!" "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mr. Dick and Vinny rush in, but Krista and Moracca cut them off with a pair of drop toeholds, then ride them both! That earns Los Diablos a pair of GREEN CARDS from Alix! COLE This place is going crazy! COACH And I think I'm about to puke with this blatant disregard for the rules by Krista and Los Diablos. They've been in well past the allotted 5 seconds. Once Krista and Moracca have had their fun they return to the apron. Meanwhile, Biff throws Mariachi off and teaches us all why it's important to ALWAYS WEAR SAFTEY GOGGLES as he connects with a running high knee! The cover. ONE... TWO... "OW!" Biff yelps after Moracca stomps him to make the save. Rubbing the back of his neck, Biff informs Moracca that wasn't very nice and demands an apology. Instead he gets dropkicked from behind and punched in the face as he stumbles forward, then back again to be rolled up in a SCHOOL BOY! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Mariachi ducks a clothesline and tags Krista! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Biff decides its time to check how Clem and the other OAOAST officials did fixing the guardrail issue from earlier and tags an off-guard Vinny Valentine who quickly tags Mr. Dick. No one else to tag, Mr. Dick mans up and tells the Notorious K.I.D. to bring it. She does and the two opponents Sunday night at Zero Hour trade blows. Just when it appears MD is starting to gain the advantage KID mounts a comeback. MD takes a nosedive following a series of VANITY PUNCHES, and then Krista comes off the ropes with her trademark SALSA KNEE DROP! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Krista hooks MD for a bulldog, but as she sprints forward and leaves her feet, Mr. Dick shoves her off towards the corner where she CROTCHES HERSELF ON THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Alix covers her mouth in horror as he beloved partner in life writhes on the mat in excruciating pain. The complete opposite can be said for Mr. Dick who grins from ear to ear. He adds to Krista's ovarian discomfort with the COCK SHOCK! COACH I guess we can rule out Krista having another child anytime soon. Ha! Caught between a rock and a hard place, Alix motions over the originally referee assigned to the bout, Clem Buzzlefoxer, and TAGS him. "Krista gets real grumpy after losses," she informs ol Clem, "although it also makes her real kinky in bed. Anyhoo, I don't want to risk Krista fingering my spine out of my baby maker during our adult play time for counting her out, you know?" "Safety first." chimes Biff. "You got it, dude." COLE A referee exchange during the match? Well that's certainly a first, not to mention bizarre. The count from Clem! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MR. DICK COACH Mr. Dick, Vinny Valentine and Biff Atlas were robbed, Cole. They had the match won. Mr. Dick places Krista on the top turnbuckle and proclaims, "BARON WINDELS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!" "No, honey," Krista interrupts, "this one's for you." A nice swift KNEE TO THE BALLS, that is. COLE Why Mr. Dick continues to obsess over Baron Windels is anybody's guess, but it may come back to haunt him in a big way. "K-I-D!" "K-I-D!" "K-I-D!" The crowd chanting her name, Krista balances herself on the top rope and does a little grind before stomping both feet down onto the stomach of MD! She then makes the tag to Moracca who comes in a house afire. "Ooh, ooh. Tag me. Clem, tag me back in." Alix begs. Unfortunately Clem lost his hearing aid sometime during the middle portion of the match and since his eyesight is poor he's unable to read lips. Moracca slams MD and Vinny, but needs Mariachi's help to handle the bigger but not necessarily badder Biff Atlas. They both duck a clothesline and backdrop Biff on the rebound, then whip him to the corner where Mariachi dives across the middle rope to keep him trapped as Moracca flies in with the TOOTIE FROOTIE BOOTY BUMP to the face! COLE Los Diablos en Fuego. COACH DOUBLE TILT-A-WHIRL FACE FIRST SLAM takes care of Vinny. Then the guys signal for their spike tombstone piledriver finisher, the Sodomizer. But Krista wants the honor of spiking MD. Los Diablos play to the crowd and they approve. As Moracca scoops MD up, the Cocky Prick grows about 7 more inches and pokes the Diablo in the eye! He then shoves Mariachi into Krista, knocking her off the top and down onto the apron and finally the arena floor. Alix quick to her side. Mr. Dick covers Moracca. ONE... TWO... THREE!!!! * DINGDINGDING * Mr. Dick rolls outside to celebrate with his teammates. Excessively. Like Boston Red Sox only clinching a playoff birth excessive. BUFFER Here are your winners... VINNY VALENTINE, BIFF ATLAS and MR. DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That's gotta be the all-time most shocking ending to a match, fans. I mean... how do you even describe it? COACH Mr. Dick beat Krista. COLE His team beat hers, yes. COACH That's what I said. Mr. Dick beat Krista. COLE No, her team. COACH They were on opposing teams, right? COLE Right. COACH And his team won. COLE Correct. COACH Which proves my point. Mr. Dick beat Krista! COLE (groans) We'll be back. The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area where Josh "J. Math" Matthews is standing by. JOSH MATTHEWS Josh Matthews here, and in a few moments, I will conduct an interview with the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican. And--P.R., P.R., P.R.! Tha Puerto Rican walks by Josh Matthews, completely ignoring him. J. Math stands there, puzzled, as Tha Puerto Rican continues on walking. JOSH MATTHEWS P...P.R.? P.R.? P.R.? P.R.? Josh Matthews continues watching Tha Puerto Rican walk away. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL COMING NEXT WEEK NEW HeldDOWN themesong NEXT WEEK! COMING UP NEXT STUFF! NEXT! Edited September 27, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2008 (edited) We return to a shot of the ring, which is covered with a red tarp, with red, white, and blue half-circle flags hanging from each side of the ring and a big covered picture in the ring. COLE OK, we're back here on HeldDOWN, and the ring is decorated all patriotic and stuff, what's going on here? COACH Well, obviously something big is about to go down here! The Wall by Kansas hits, and Reject and Thunderkid walk to the ring in suits, followed by Sandman9000, who has the sleeves torn off of his suit. COLE And the Deadly Alliance making their way to the ring, just what is this all about? And where's Alf? Reject, TK, and Sandman enter the ring, and stand on the far side, looking down the aisle as a long limousine pulls into the aisle, then stops at the ring. The driver steps out, then opens the door, and out steps Alfdogg, with the United States title belt over his right shoulder. COLE And there is the new OAOAST United States champion, Alfdogg! COACH I get it, Cole! This is a celebration party for Alf's victory! Just imagine what it's going to be like when he defeats PRL at Zero Hour! Alf raises his belt in the air, then begins waving at the fans, taking his time entering the ring. As he enters, red, white, and blue confetti pours from the ceiling, then when he does his pose, fireworks of the same colors follow. Alf then grabs a mic from ringside. ALF Thank you, thank you. This is definitely a reception worthy of YOUR United States champion, and soon to be YOUR three-time OAOAST champion of the World! *crowd boos* ALF You see, I've got all the momentum going into this Sunday...I just won the United States title, finally bringing some prestige to this belt, after nearly a year of shame was bestowed upon it...and at Zero Hour, I have everything to gain, and nothing to lose. THAT is why I will be victorious this Sunday against Tha Puerto Rican. *crowd boos* ALF You know, I've had some tremendous victories over my career...like when I defeated Caboose, to win my first World championship... *the crowd cheers for the Caboose mention, then boos Alf.* ALF Or when I won the Lethal Rumble match, and won my second World championship in the main event of AngleMania...but this Sunday, will rank as my greatest victory of all, when I end PRL's travashamockery of a World title reign, and finally make the OAOAST World title respectable once again. *crowd boos* ALF I must admit, PRL has done an impressive job of finding excuses not to face me over the last six months...for example, tracking down some scrub like Brickston, and paying him off to make us all think they're bitter rivals, and leaving himself open for beatdowns. But you've run out of time. You can't duck anymore. You're trapped at Zero Hour, and there is no escape. And your days as World champion, will be over. *crowd boos* ALF Now then, about my match last week. One of the best feelings I've had in my career, hell, my whole LIFE, was hearing that chump Colombian Heat scream in pain as I had him in my Sharpshooter. Because this guy took a brand new United States title, and flushed it down the toilet from day one. As long as a piece of gold and leather is around his waist, it will be a joke. Well, now, the United States title is getting the treatment it deserves! It should be celebrated, just like this. And this Sunday, punk, my man Sandman is going to finish the job in that Chamber of Hell. *crowd boos* ALF Now then... Alf summons TK and Reject over to remove the cover from the picture. ALF On three...one...two...THREE! TK and Reject remove the cover, revealing a photoshopped cover of OAOAST Magazine, with Alf holding the World title on his right shoulder, and the US title on his left shoulder, as the crowd boos. COACH Wow, they've already got the cover made and everything! Just like WrestleMania IV! COLE Alf very confident in there, I wonder how much money he paid to have that thing made? ALF THAT, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is a preview of the future. A future that, ironically, will bring us back to the way things used to be. The way things SHOULD be! It has been 758 days since I last held the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. And in that time, I briefly sworn allegiance to the country of Canada, which I apologize for, I started and ran my own professional wrestling company and was its World Heavyweight Champion, I added to my list of memorable matches and memorable moments, and perhaps most importantly, I proved to the world time and time again that I am the absolute BEST wrestler in the world today. And all of that has built up to this Sunday night. The night where I bring the OAOAST back to its glory days. Where I bring back the OAOAST to its zenith. Where I make things right all over again! Like I said before, this Sunday night will be my greatest victory when I defeat and dethrone the paper Champion, the wannabe to the throne, Tha Puerto Rican! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Amen. ALF P.R., it is time to face facts. As you look ahead to this Sunday, you realize that you are way over your head. You have never gone face-to-face with me and beaten me. You are 0 and FOUR against me. Check the record books, P.R. You know that this is true. I have taken a belt away from you before, and this Sunday, when I improve my record to FIVE and ZERO against you, I will take another belt. And then, this farce of a Title reign can finally end! You are a joke Champion, P.R. A Champion that the world just doesn’t care about. P.R., face it, your OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign hasn’t set the world on fire. For all of the hype, all of the anticipation, all of the excitement that you and your fans had about the moment that you finally got the brass ring, what really has happened has been less than stellar. People will one day replace you with me when they talk about the lowest drawing OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion of all-time! Finally. You haven’t main evented pay-per-views, you have BARELY defended the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship on HeldDOWN~!, in fact, I think you did it just ONCE! The focus of the company hasn’t been on you ever since you got the belt. And it’s not the belt’s fault. It’s yours! COACH PREACH ON, BROTHER ALFDOGG! ALF You have sunk the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! You have made it irrelevant! You have dragged down the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship down to your sad, pathetic level! But when I win back the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday, *I* will make it relevant again! *I* will make it MEAN something again! *I* will make it the center of attention! *I* will main event pay-per-views and HeldDOWN~!‘s AND house shows! The reason people work their asses off in this company! The reason people watch our shows! EVERYTHING you did to destroy the honor, the integrity, and the PRESTIGE of the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship, I will GIVE BACK! Reject, Thunderkid and Sandman9000 all applaud Alfdogg. The crowd boos loudly. ALF You are a transitional Champion, P.R. A Champion only meant to keep the belt warm for someone who is actually WORTHY of it! You are the Ronnie Garvin of the One And Only AngleSault Thread, P.R.! You are a paper Champion! The fact that you only got the Title by beating ANOTHER paper Champion speaks volumes about you! You couldn’t get the job done when you fought Calvin Szechstein, Peter Knight, ME, or Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix. But you won the Title after defeating Stephen Joseph Popick. POPICK! HA! Big deal! Now Popick has gone on a long overdue vacation. And this Sunday, P.R., I will MAKE you go on vacation. PERMANENTLY! More boos from the fans. ALF And think about this. Our World Heavyweight Champion doesn’t even come from an actual country. He comes from a commonwealth. A colony owned by the United States of America. Well, just like the United States OWNS Puerto Rico, Alfdogg OWNS Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Damn right! ALF Our World Heavyweight Champion has based his entire personality, his entire character, his entire career on emulating a wrestling legend! And not just any legend, but perhaps the best known wrestling legend of ALL-TIME! It is hard not to recognize who our ’beloved’ World Heavyweight Champion is basing himself on. That is complete and total DISRESPECT to Dwayne Johnson, and our World Heavyweight Champion should be ashamed of himself! That sort of bush league nonsense belongs in TNA Wrestling. NOT the OAOAST! But unlike our World Heavyweight Champion, I, Alfdogg, did not become an OAOAST Superstar by emulating a legend. I, Alfdogg, became an OAOAST Superstar by becoming MY OWN LEGEND! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALF P.R., you say that you are living your dream. Well, P.R., every dream must end because you wake up. And this Sunday night, P.R., you will get your wakeup call by way of a Five Star Alf Splash! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALF And so, ladies and gentlemen, I close with this. My name is not Barack Obama. My name is not John McCain. My name is Alfdogg. And while I am not running for President of the United States of America (at least not yet), I AM running for something that is just as important! I am running to become YOUR One And Only AngleSault World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion! And this Sunday night, September 28th, 2008, think of it as our Election Day, and think of this Sunday night, September 28th, 2008, as the day that Tha Puerto Rican is IMPEACHED, and I am sworn in as the NEW UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! And on that day, I PROMISE YOU, that change WILL occur. Change for the better. Change that will affect the One And Only AngleSault Thread for a long time to come! The sun WILL rise again! Honor and integrity and prestige will be restored back to the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship. And the One And Only AngleSault Thread will become a better place for you, for me, and for everybody who works here from the wrestlers all the way down to the ring rats. It CAN happen. And it WILL happen. Because YES WE CAN. YES WE CAN. YES WE CAN. YES WE CAN. The Deadly Alliance all chant “YES WE CAN.” “YES WE CAN.” “YES WE CAN.” “YES WE CAN.” “YES WE CA--” "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance stage, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song. COLE Uh-oh! It looks like our World Heavyweight Champion has had just about enough of Alfdogg’s slandering of his good name! A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out to a big pop from the crowd. COLE THE CHAMP IS HERE! Coach removes his headset and jumps over the barricade, running through the crowd as far away from Tha Puerto Rican as possible. COLE DA COACH IS GONE! The Deadly Alliance turns their attention to Tha Puerto Rican. All four men have their game faces on. Alfdogg looks at his opponent for this Sunday night with a look of disgust on his face. He scoffs at PRL. Tha Puerto Rican stands on the entrance stage wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a black T-shirt, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, tan dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. He carries the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand, and a microphone in his left hand. Tha Puerto Rican is PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF at Alfdogg and The Deadly Alliance. The crowd is still going nuts for Tha Puerto Rican. COLE And The Champ must be FURIOUS at what The Deadly Alliance has done to Colombian Heat, and what Alfdogg has said about him tonight! This match was originally all business, but now…IT’S PERSONAL! Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth on the entrance stage. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd is still going wild. PRL stands still for a few seconds, and gives Alfdogg the McMahon SNEER~! Alfdogg motions for PRL to come into the ring. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE What is Tha Puerto Rican going to say tonight? Tha Puerto Rican brings the microphone to his lips…but doesn’t say anything. He looks at the crowd. They cheer loudly. PRL looks back at Alfdogg. He is breathing hard. Alfdogg rests on the top ring rope, waiting for PRL to start speaking. COLE You can see the ANGER in his eyes, fans! The World Heavyweight Champion is not in a good mood here tonight! Tha Puerto Rican puts the microphone to his lips again…but doesn’t say anything. He looks at the fans, who cheer, and then looks at Alfdogg. ALFDOGG Come on. Hurry up! PRL mutters under his breath. He brings the microphone to his lips again…but puts it back down. He does it again…but changes his mind at the last second. PRL looks at the cheering fans, looks at Alfdogg, and then brings the microphone to his lips one more time. THA PUERTO RICAN You know what…SCREW IT! Tha Puerto Rican drops the microphone and runs down the entrance ramp with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! COLE P.R. doesn’t want to talk! P.R. wants to have the main event of Zero Hour 3 days early! Tha Puerto Rican slides into the ring where a waiting Alfdogg pounces on him! Alf clubbers PRL with CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms on the World Heavyweight Champion! But just as quickly as he started he stops as Tha Puerto Rican springs into action with right hands! COLE P.R. and Alfdogg, duking it out before Zero Hour! Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg engage in a slugfest! Back and forth they go, trading punches! Soon, PRL gains the advantage, repeatedly nailing Alfdogg with Rock-style punches to the temple! P.R. brings the crowd to life as he repeatedly nails Alfdogg, sending him into a turnbuckle corner! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE And Alfdogg is in trouble! Suddenly, Sandman9000 clubs P.R. from behind! The OAOAST Heartland Champion continues punching away at Tha Puerto Rican! Thunderkid and Reject join in on the punching and soon enough, Alfdogg has regained his composure, and he too joins in on beating up Tha Puerto Rican, making it a 4-on-1 assault on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE And The Deadly Alliance quickly gains the advantage! The numbers game is too much! Even for the World Heavyweight Champion! The Deadly Alliance knocks PRL to the mat, and starts laying the boots to him! PRL tries to block the kicks by covering up his head, but that just leaves his body open to the assault! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Alfdogg grabs the podium and slams it over Tha Puerto Rican! The podium breaks into pieces upon impact! COLE Oh my! Alfdogg just used that podium as a weapon on PRL! Alfdogg tells Thunderkid and Reject to pick PR up. The OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Champions obliged, and pick up the weakened PRL up. PRL struggles a little bit, but he is obviously in much pain as Thunderkid and Reject hold him in place, taunting him while doing so. PRL’s sunglasses have fallen off, as well as his Puerto Rican flag bandana. Alfdogg picks up the OAOAST United States Championship belt and heads to a turnbuckle corner. Alf readies himself with some practice swings, P.R. struggling to escape. Alf taunts PRL. He has an evil smile on his face as he runs out of the turnbuckle corner…charges forward…takes a swing… ::Beltshot to Tha Puerto Rican!:: COLE Oh! Alfdogg knocking Tha Puerto Rican down to the mat with the OAOAST United States Title! The same Title that Alfdogg took from Tha Puerto Rican’s best friend, Colombian Heat, last week! “HEAT!” “HEAT!” “HEAT!” “HEAT!” The crowd chants for Colombian Heat, but he is not in the arena tonight. Tha Puerto Rican has crumpled onto the mat in a fetal position. Thunderkid, Reject and Alfdogg stare down at the fallen PRL with looks of disdain on their faces. The crowd boos loudly. Meanwhile, Sandman9000 has exited the ring and gone looking for something underneath the ring apron. He pulls out…a table. COLE Oh no! Not this! Not a table! It’s bad enough that PRL got hit in the head with the U.S. Title! And now this!? Please! Somebody stop this! Sandman9000 grins evilly as he slides the table into the ring, and then slides into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Sandman9000 calls Alfdogg over and tells him something. Alfdogg has a sinister grin on his face and nods his head, giving Sandman a thumbs up. COLE The Deadly Alliance has got a plan! Tha Puerto Rican is in a bad way here! Alfdogg tells Thunderkid and Reject to pick Tha Puerto Rican up again. Sandman9000 sets up the table in the ring as Thunderkid and Reject pick up the unconscious PRL. Thunderkid and Reject rip off Tha Puerto Rican's shirt and choke him with it! COLE PRL is out. He is out like a light! Alfdogg directs Thunderkid and Reject to put PRL on top of the table. They stop choking Tha Puerto Rican and do so. Alfdogg then tells Sandman9000 to stand by. Alf exits the ring. COLE Oh no! What’s this!? Alfdogg climbs the top rope. The crowd buzzes in anticipation, sensing what is coming up next. Sandman9000, Thunderkid and Reject all stand back and watch as Alfdogg is hunched over on the top rope with Tha Puerto Rican lying on top of the table. COLE This won’t be good! This will not be good for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd yells for Alfdogg not to do what he is about to do. But Sandman9000, Reject and Thunderkid all encourage Alfdogg to do what he is about to do. Alfdogg has an evil smile on his face as he leaps off of the top rope with Tha Puerto Rican still lying on top of the table, unconscious… FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Alfdogg lies on top of Tha Puerto Rican amidst the wreckage of the table! The other 3 Deadly Alliance members applaud their leader while the crowd boos loudly. COLE Alfdogg with the Five Star Alf Splash THROUGH the table! Tha Puerto Rican has been broken in half! Alfdogg has Tha Puerto Rican pinned to the mat, so Sandman9000 makes the count. 1! 2! 3!!! The crowd boos loudly. Alfdogg gets off of Tha Puerto Rican and has his hands raised in “victory” by Sandman9000 while on his knees. Alfdogg has a disgusted look on his face as Thunderkid and Reject applaud him for “pinning” Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Is this really a glimpse into the future? We saw the magazine cover, and now this! We all know how much Alfdogg wants to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion again, but who knows how far he will go to achieve that goal and end Tha Puerto Rican’s dream! Alfdogg tells Sandman9000 to bring him his belt. Sandman9000 hands Alfdogg the OAOAST United States Championship belt. He then tells Sandman9000 to bring him his “other belt.” Sandman hands Alf the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. Alfdogg slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder, and the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos louder at this. Alfdogg looks down at Tha Puerto Rican and sneers at him. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is in for a challenge this Sunday! Alfdogg is looking to become a double Champion and will stop at nothing to do just that! PRL better have eyes in the back of his head, because you can bet that The Deadly Alliance will be lurking around the corner during the main event! Alfdogg raises both belts in the air to loud boos. He has a cocky smirk on his face while doing so. Alfdogg laughs manically. Tha Puerto Rican has not moved since being hit with the Five Star Alf Splash through the table. Alf tells his fellow Deadly Alliance members something. They all laugh manically. COLE All four members of The Deadly Alliance currently hold gold here in the OAOAST, and if all four men are successful in their matches this Sunday at Zero Hour 2008, then you can make a case that The Deadly Alliance RULE the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Alfdogg stands in the center of the ring. Sandman9000 stands to his left, Thunderkid stands to Alfdogg’s right, and Reject stands to Thunderkid’s right. The Deadly Alliance stare at the crowd, and then they all stare at each other and nod. On cue, all four men raise their title belts into the air to LOUD boos! Thunderkid and Reject raising the OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Championship belts into the air, Sandman9000 raising the OAOAST Heartland Championship belt into the air, and Alfdogg raising the OAOAST United States Championship belt into the air with his left hand and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject and Sandman9000 smile evilly as they pose. COLE This could be what we see after Zero Hour! “The Wall” by Kansas begins playing. The crowd continues booing loudly as The Deadly Alliance continues posing inside of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican is still unconscious in the wreckage of the table. COLE If Alfdogg does indeed hit the Five Star Alf Splash this Sunday night at Zero Hour, then we might just see the crowning of a new OAOAST Champion and the end of Tha Puerto Rican’s World Heavyweight Championship reign! The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat unconscious in what’s left of the table. The camera then cuts back to The Deadly Alliance posing with their belts (and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt). The camera cuts to a close-up of Alfdogg posing with the OAOAST United States Championship belt and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt as "The Wall” continues playing over the P.A. system. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Fans, thanks for tuning into this week’s HeldDOWN~!. For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from Louisville, Kentucky! And we will see you this Sunday night, September 28, 2008 at OAOAST Zero Hour 2008 from Cleveland, Ohio LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! Goodnight everybody! The Deadly Alliance continue raising their championship belts into the air while Tha Puerto Rican continues lying on the mat admist the wreckage of the table, unconscious, as “The Wall” by Kansas continues playing over the P.A. system and the crowd continues booing LOUDLY. This is the last image that we see before we FADE TO BLACK Edited September 27, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
