Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * MELODY (V.O.) The Internet...the final frontier TONY TOURETTES (V.O) OF MY LEFT NUT! We see an indoor setting that looks remarkably like the starship enterprise from Star Trek The Next Generation. Obviously its not the enterprise. That would be copyright infringement. We don't fucks with that. At the comm (the front pilot part of the ship) Denzel Spencer and Doctor Anderson sit. In the rear science stations Tony Tourettes, Mariachi and Jumbo work on god knows what. MEL is stationed at the main tactical control center, while MARV sits next in the commander's seat next to Captain Melody Nerdly. MELODY These are the voyages of the Starship OAOAST, her continuing mission to recruit strange foul mouth crack heads, seek out new ways to skirt the United States drug laws, and to boldly go where no man has gone before TOURETTES DEEP INSIDE JOSH MATTHEW'S ANUS! MARIACHI I have been there! MELODY To boldly go where only Mariachi has gone before... JUMBO Um, I've been there also. MELODY To boldly go where only Mariachi and Jumbo have gone before... MARV Yeah, I've surfed Josh's hershey highway also. MELODY DOCTOR ANDERSON Captain Melody, we're receiving an incoming transmission from Rigel 7 MELODY Patch it through, Doctor. DOCTOR ANDERSON Damn it, Melody! I'm a Doctor not a comm officer! MELODY But, you're sitting at the comm desk. DOCTOR ANDERSON Damn it, Melody! I'm a Doctor not a comm officer! MELODY And you just told me we had a transmission, and you're at the comm station, so I don't know what you expect me to do here....you just press a button and it will come through. That's it. Nice and easy. DOCTOR ANDERSON The purple button? MELODY No the purple one is the irreversible self destruct button. The violet one is the talk one. Now, let us hear what the intelligent life of the vast expanse of space has to say! MARV Things Rick Astley will never do: give you up, let you down, run around, desert you, make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie, and hurt you. MELODY You think that's funny do you? Go on laugh it up! Laugh it up all you want! I don't remember anyone trying to rick roll me after the borg captured you all and I saved every last one of you from a future of eternal cybernetic slavery! Were you rick rolling me when the food replicator in ten forward broke down and I made you all pancakes with blueberry syrup. You captain demands respect, and she will get it! DENZEL SEPNCER Captain, I'm picking up an odd object in sector of 8 of the gamma quadrant. MEL Yo, my bro, aren't you Jamaican? SPENCER And so what? Why must I be typecast to speak in "mon" and "rasta". I wish to sing the opreas of Cherubini! Read the works of Thoureau! Study the same stars as Gallello! Sail the same oceans as Columbus! Why will you not let me live? Why do you deny me this one aspiration! MEL Dude. SPENCER Mon? MEL That's all I wanted, bro. JUMBO The transmission, captain? MELODY What could it be? A monkey picking its BUTT, smelling it and then falling off a tree? A whale exploding on a beach? A woman yelling to leave Britney alone? LOL25THCENTURY keep up with the times, astronoobs. On screen! CREW !!!! MELODY Its...its...its...hideous! DOCTOR ANDERSON Its....its...its.... MOLLY Whoops, editing error! My dearest apologies! MOLLY Its Zero Hour! We're taken into the arena where the gigantic whimsical arcade set flashes and blinks with wonderful colors and lights almost if the entire arena was covered with this insane saccharine hue. Sitting removed from the chaotic illumination at the safety of Sofa Central is Double C. They've forgone their usual orange polo shirts for a suit and tie look for the PPV extravaganza, as Sofa Central has received a minor makeover with a Zero Hour banner in front of the announce desk and miniature arcade machines next to it. COLE Welcome to Zero Hour! This could very well be the biggest night in OAOAST history! COACH You always say that. You ain't nothing but a ho ass shill. They already paid their $45, let's be up front and honest. If this show was pussy, niggas'd be catchin the clap! COLE You're a jerk. COACH Bitch. COLE Moron. COACH Federalist. COLE Whig. COACH Libertarian. COLE Populist. COACH Excise tax of 1971! COLE Alien and Sedition Act! COACH Louisiana Purchase! 45 MINUTES LATER COLE Grover Cleveland! COACH Calvin Cooledige! COLE Chester A.Arthur! COACH Rutherford B.Hayes! COLE Martin Van Buren! COACH James Monroe! COLE On with the show! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) COLE World tag team titles on the line! Last chance for Team Heyross, they must leave Cleveland with the belts! Shine by Collective Soul hits, and Team Heyross makes their way out to thunderous applause. COLE And here they come, let's go up to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST World tag team championship! Making their way to the ring, the challengers...at a total combined weight of 485 pounds...three-time former tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRRRRRLD...the team of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAMMMMMMMMM HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSS!!!!! Team Heyross stops in the aisle, and raises their arms, as their red, white, and blue pyro goes off behind them. They then make their way to the ring, climbing inside and posing on the buckles. They hop down, as The Wall by Kansas hits, and the crowd boos, as the lights go out, and yellow strobes and smoke fill the entryway. Thunderkid and Reject make their way through the smoke, and walk to the ring. BUFFER Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 480 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance...the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRLD...the team of THHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! Reject is attired in a Yankees cap, and a Dallas Cowboys jersey, as the crowd boos. COLE And Reject obviously not trying to make any friends here in Cleveland. Reject makes his way to the timekeepers' table, and grabs a mic. REJECT What? If LeBron James can do it, why can't I? *crowd boos* COACH Ouch. TK and Reject climb into the ring, remove their belts, and ambush Team Heyross! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! Reject pulls his cap and jersey off, then hammers away on Moss and TK on Benjamin, and whip them across the ring. Moss and Benjamin both duck clotheslines, and hit ones of their own! Team Heyross then hits stereo dropkicks, sending TK and Reject out to the floor on opposite sides! COLE Team Heyross ambushed from the outset, but a nice recovery, and now the champs are reeling! TK and Reject regroup on the floor, and then TK rolls inside, and Benjamin stays in for his team. They circle the ring, then tie up. Benjamin goes to an arm-wringer, which TK quickly reverses. COACH And I think Quentin Benjamin needs to get TK off his feet here! Benjamin rolls forward on the mat, then does a front handspring, and reverses the arm-wringer. COLE Great agility by Quentin Benjamin, and a nice reversal of the arm-wringer! Benjamin goes to a wristlock, then to a hammerlock, but TK is able to reverse. Benjamin reaches back around the head of TK, then flips over the back of TK and executes a reverse sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! TK charges after Benjamin, who drops down, then leapfrogs TK and catches him with an armdrag! Benjamin quickly applies a top wristlock, and drives knees into the arm. COLE And Benjamin able to do just what you said, Coach, he's keeping TK on the mat and sticking to his strengths, mat wrestlingand agility! COACH Yeah, but this one's a long way from over, Cole! TK gets to his feet, and Benjamin wrings the arm once again, then goes to a knuckle lock. COACH And he's making a mistake now! TK powers Benjamin down to the mat, and the referee counts... 1... 2... Benjamin gets a shoulder up, but is powered down again... 1... 2... Benjamin bridges up, then manages to power his way to his feet. COLE But look at Quentin show off some power here! Benjamin kicks one of his hands free, then runs to the ropes, jumps to the top, then springs off and catches TK in a HURRICANRANA~! COLE What a move by Quentin Benjamin! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin drags the dazed TK into his corner, then tags in Moss. COLE First tag of the match, and Charlie Moss in there for the challengers! Moss wrings the arm of TK, then hooks him in a front facelock, and lifts him for a vertical suplex, holding him in the air for a couple seconds, then falling back to the mat! COLE Nicely executed suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss whips TK into a corner, then charges, but TK moves out of the way! COACH Nobody home on that move, though! TK tags in Reject, who comes in and gets caught in a drop toe hold from Moss! COLE But he caught Reject, a nice recovery! Moss then drops an elbow to the back of the head, picks up Reject, and hooks him as the crowd eggs him on. COLE Double-arm suplex coming up! Moss delivers with a double-arm suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss tags in Benjamin, who climbs to the top rope, and hits a flying bodypress as Moss ducks down behind Reject! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Kickout, but Team Heyross is really in a groove now! Benjamin picks up Reject, and executes a backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin picks up Reject, but Reject delivers a shot to the gut, then rakes his eyes, then backs him into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COLE Reject coming back with some big chops! Reject then whips Benjamin across, but Benjamin springs over the top as Reject charges, then catches him coming back with a SUPERKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin grabs Reject in a side headlock, but Reject backs him into a corner. Reject shoves him off towards TK, who attempts to clothesline him from the apron, but Benjamin ducks, then catches TK and Reject with a double clothesline, knocking TK from the apron to the floor! COLE TK trying for the shot from the apron, but it backfired! Moss comes in after Reject, as the referee tries to separate them, while Benjamin goes for a PLANCHA~! on TK, who catches him in his arms! COACH Oh, he caught him! TK then rams Benjamin back-first into the ringpost! COLE And right into the steel ringpost goes Quentin Benjamin! TK then tosses Benjamin inside, and Reject covers... 1... 2... But Benjamin gets his foot on the bottom rope! COACH And saved by the ropes, just like PRL at AngleSlam! COLE Oh, don't start that already. Reject chokes Benjamin on the mat, then tags in TK. TK whips Benjamin into the ropes, and catches him in a PRESS SLAM~! COACH Look at the power! The champs have it under control now! TK slams Benjamin to the mat, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! TK whips Benjamin into the corner, then goes over and taunts Moss, drawing him into the ring, as TK lifts up the legs of Benjamin while Reject chokes him on the ropes. COLE Mistake here by Moss, being drawn into the ring and allowing a double team to take place! TK tags Reject back in, and Reject backs Benjamin into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then pulls Benjamin out, and executes a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Benjamin and attempts a whip to the corner, but Benjamin reverses, and charges, but runs right into the foot of Reject! Reject then tags TK back in. TK sets up a vertical suplex, but Benjamin counters to a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Benjamin almost sneaking out with the belts right there! TK gets to his feet and drops an elbow to the back of the head of Benjamin, then tags Reject back in. Reject stomps away at Benjamin, then whips him into the ropes. Benjamin ducks a clothesline, but gets caught with a spinning wheel kick! COACH Benjamin can't hold out here much longer, he's got to find some way to make a tag if they ever want to hold the belts again! Reject covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Benjamin, and whips him into a corner. He charges...but Benjamin gets a foot up! COLE This may be his chance right here! Benjamin follows up with a BULLDOG~! COLE And now is the time Quentin! Make the tag! As Benjamin scoots over to his corner, TK hops into the ring, but the referee intercepts him, as Benjamin MAKES THE TAG~! COLE And there's the tag! COACH No, no referee! Moss comes in and starts to grab Reject, but the referee forces him back to the corner as Moss pleads his case. COLE And the referee's back was turned, what a tough break for the challengers! TK picks up Benjamin, and executes a FALLAWAY SLAM~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! TK tags Reject back in, and Reject sets up an Irish whip. Benjamin reverses, but gets sent to the mat with a shoulderblock! Reject runs to the ropes again as Benjamin turns to his stomach, then gets to his feet and catches Reject with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Look at this! 1... 2... But TK makes the save! Moss comes in to object, which allows TK and Reject to floor Benjamin with a double clothesline! COLE And another critical error by Moss, very uncharacteristic of Team Heyross! Reject covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Reject tags TK in, and TK grabs Benjamin in a hangman's hold. COACH Beginning of the end, Cole! Reject measures Benjamin, and lays a roundhouse kick to the midsection! Reject steps out, as TK covers... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But Quentin Benjamin isn't done yet! TK tags Reject back in, and the two set up an Irish whip into the corner. TK follows Benjamin in...but Benjamin catches him in a bulldog, and dropkicks Reject on the way down! COLE And Benjamin taking out both champs, and now he MUST tag! Benjamin rolls over to the ropes, and uses them to pull into his corner, and TAG MOSS! COLE And there's the tag! The referee saw that one! Moss hops in, and floors Reject with a clothesline, then does the same to TK! COLE Moss is a HOUSE AFIRE~! Moss scoops slams Reject, then TK! Moss whips Reject into the ropes, and executes a POWERSLAM~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! TK saves! Benjamin crawls in and drills TK from behind, as Moss hammers Reject in a corner. TK hammers Benjamin in a corner, but Benjamin reverses an Irish whip out as Moss sends Reject in, and the champs collide! COLE The champs are losing it here! A Team Heyross double superkick sends TK reeling to the floor, then Team Heyross sizes up Reject, and hits the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! COLE The Double Goozle! COACH C'mon Reject, kick out! 1... 2... NO!!! Reject gets the shoulder up! Moss then walks over to the ropes, as Benjamin runs at him, and backdrops Benjamin over the top onto TK! COLE What a move that was! Benjamin then climbs to the top rope, as Moss positions himself underneath...just as they see Alfdogg jogging to ringside, then turn towards the aisle, and Moss executes the Rocket Launcher by tossing Benjamin to the outside onto Alf! COACH What the hell? COLE That was Alfdogg heading to the ring, and Team Heyross saw him coming! Moss then hits the STO BACKBREAKER~! on Reject, and starts to set up the MOSSY KNOLL~!!!111, when Sandman9000 comes through the crowd and slides into the ring! COLE And now Sandman9000 out here! Sandman and Moss engage in a slugfest as the referee is reprimanding TK and Benjamin on the outside, until Moss ducks a clothesline and sends Sandman to the floor with a superkick, then turns around...right into the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH YES~! COLE The Eulogy from Reject! Don't let it end this way! The referee turns around, and counts... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE DAMN IT~! COACH Benjamin chases Reject out of the ring, then drops down to check on Moss. BUFFER The winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST World tag team champions...the team of THHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! COLE A travesty here at Zero Hour, as Team Heyross now will not get another shot at the belts as long as they are in the possession of TK and Reject, and with Alf and Sandman watching their backs, who knows how long their reign will last? The Deadly Alliance celebrates in the aisle, as Benjamin sits on his knees in the ring, letting the facts sink in. COLE And you can see the disappointment setting in with Team Heyross now... Benjamin gets to his feet, and helps Moss up, as the fans begin to applaud Team Heyross. COLE But these fans here in Cleveland aren't disappointed with this team! COACH What do you expect, Cole, it's Cleveland! This city has been supporting losers for over four decades now, Team Heyross fits right in! COLE Will you stop it? Those two men in the ring are anything but losers, it's just a shame that this match couldn't have been contested without any outside interference! Team Heyross salutes the fans as they leave the ring. COLE Well, no matter what the result of this one, we're looking at two champions making their way to the back! The camera cuts backstage, to find "After Hours" Felix Strutter hanging from a bar doing upside down crunches. COLE And there is the former two-time Heartland champion, "After Hours" Felix Strutter, one of the six participants in the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell later tonight! He was the last man eliminated last year, he's hoping this year he can be the last man standing! Elsewhere Detective Bosley is patrolling the lavish and well furnished Enterprise dressing room, psyching himself for the big match still to come. BOSLEY I'm a fuckin animal, bro! Do you hear me? Do you see that shit on animal planet with the lion running down the gazelle across the field and getting what's his? The gazelle thinks its can get away, but no, man, no, laws of nature say the king of the jungle has got to eat! That's how I eat, man! Sly Sommers? That's just me feasting on an appetizer, baby. That's like a little lemur to a lion, I'm coming for the big meal tonight! I'm the alpha dog of the jungle, baby! I'd take an elephant by its trunk and throw it all the way to Jupiter! That's how I roll, baby! Real jungle shit, Rambo with the knife in his mouth about to explode on those Vietcong bitches. I'm like those dudes you see up on National Geographic with the big lips that stick out in front of their face and cut off their balls and stand on totem polls and shit to prove their manhood. That's me! I ain't cuttin off my balls, though. I got balls for days, baby. Don't ever leave your chick around the alpha male, because she's gonna have a sore ass for weeks. I'm kidding, I don't deal in used pussy! I get fresh meat, baby, all day everyday! CPA Maybe you should be easy for bit. You got heat on you for that thing with Sly. Just calm down, be cool. BOSLEY Hell no! I'm doing it VIP style! I'm in the club, I'm throwing paper stacks, I'm displaying ice, I'm doing pump fakes, I'm sending chumps through plate glass windows, I'm slapping disrespectful hos in the face, because I don't give a damn who you are, I'm the alpha male of the group, and I dominate my domain! Guess how many hos I slapped today! Guess! Guess, how many I slapped before I came here! CPA Man, I don't wanna play the guessing game right now. BOSLEY That not's a number! Eight hos! Eight for the number of chakras I have, because I'm also centered in my chi. I've relaxed my spirt and I've channeled my soul to a higher level of astral existence. A true alpha male is dominate in mind as well as spirt. Remember that, because chicks dig that deep Depok Chopra shit. I don't plan on dying before you but if I do, I'm gonna be your spirit guide. Count on that, baby! With alpha male guiding you down the path of enlightenment, its all gravy, baby! COME ON, CPA! LET'S DO THIS, BABY! COLE What an idiot. But, he's a part of the Chamber of Hell match coming up later on tonight with Heartland title holder, Sandman9000! And the Sandman's stablemates Reject and ThunderKid just pulled off a successful title defense, but will Alfdogg be able to live up to his promise and beat Tha Puerto Rican in the mainevent? Alfdogg is a student of the game, a legend in this industry... COACH And he's returning respect back to the belt! And its about time someone man upped and did it. Damn, Brickston and PRL? That's worse than Bossman and Big Show for the world title. At least Bossman had the decency to hijack Big Show's daddy casket and get his mama to call him a nasty bastard. I'm steady lookin forward to trackin PRL's career progression after he loses that belt it'll be a job to CPA in a 30 second squash at Halloween Spectacular, a Syndicated feud with Danny Boy, a "sorry creative has nothing for you at this time, PRL", and finally a job workin as a greeter at WAL*MART. Ricans stay losin! Edited September 27, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2008 (edited) -The camera zooms in on the OAOAST Intercontinental Title Belt, hanging 20 feet above the ring. The fans erupt as the lights dim. DING DING DING!! BUFFER "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! The Next Match! Is a 4-Way Dance LADDER MATCH! And is for the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP! CUE: "Wet Wipes" by Cam'ron -The fans begin to boo as the curtain opens, and out walks one of two members of the IRA in the match... BUFFER "ENTERING FIRST! From Boston, Massachusetts! Weighing in, at Two Hundred And Five Pounds...he is PATRIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!! CAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!! -The fans boo as Patrick walks out, holding his arms out wide, smiling a cocky grin. His black t-shirt reading "TITLE GOES HERE" with an arrow pointing to his waist. COLE Patrick Callahan's could be considered the Dark Horse in this match, Coach! COACH Dark Horse, my ass! He has a winning attitude now! A few weeks ago, I NEVER would have considered this kid a contender in this match, but now? Patrick Callahan is in my top two to win it! COLE Right behind CMJ, right? COACH Of course. -Patrick slides into the ring and looks up at the title, blowing it a kiss. His music fades out...and straight into. [/b]"COMP-TON! COMP-TON! COMP-TON! COMP-TON!"[/b] CUE: "Real Mothaphukkin G's" by Eazy-E -The fans erupt as the lights begin flashing along with the beat. The curtain opens once again, revealing none other than... BUFFER "ENTERING SECOND! From Compton, California...weighing in...at One Hundred and Ninety Seven Pounds...."CASH MONEY" CUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRTIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!! COLE Now here's a man that, win or lose, is going to hurt someone in this match. Mainly Patrick Callahan. COACH Curtis Black is just jealous of Patrick's superior wrestling ability. That's all there is to it. Not only that, but Patrick Callahan is TOUGHER than Curtis Black. Southie Projects versus Compton, California? Yeah...Patrick Callahan is the real deal. -"Cash Money" struts down the aisle, a Philly Blunt hanging out of his mouth. As soon as Curtis makes it to the ring, Patrick hops out, obviously not trying to face the wrath of one the men that he has been annoying for the weeks prior. Curtis slides into the ring, tossing his Philly Blunt at Patrick. His music fades out... CUE: "The Rocky Road to Dublin" by The Young Dubliners -The boos are loud and furious as the curtain flies open, and out walks Colin Maguire, Jr! His normally black track suit is, tonight, replaced with a hunter green one with gold stripes. He looks out at the fans, before hopping side to side, then jogs down to the ring. BUFFER "ENTERING THIRD! From Boston, Massachusetts...weighing in at Two Hundred And Fifteen Pounds..."THE IRISH GOLDEN BOY" COLIN! MAGUIRE! JUUUUUUUUUUUUUNIOR!! COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. is being touted as the "Irish Golden Boy," yet he can't seem to capture the gold against his mortal rival, the Intercontinental Champion, Jereme Grey! COACH Oh, whatever! I'm changing my mind! My pick is CMJ! -Colin slides into the ring, staring down Curtis Black, who is now flanked by the two members of IRA. Curtis tries to keep them both in his view as Colin's music fades out... And the lights go out. CUE: "Rockers to Swallow" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs -The fans go insane!! The lights start pounding along with the beat and the guitar. The curtain once again flies open, and out walks the lovely Evelyn Maguire, who wears some tiny black shorts and white zip up hoody. The men in the crowd go crazy over her, as the curtain once again opens... BUFFER "ENTERING LAST! From Marseille, France...being accompanied to the ring by Evelyn Maguire....weighing in at One Hundred and Seventy Five Pounds...he is the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!....JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!! -The fans erupt as Jereme strolls out. He smiles at his lady as he walks past her and down the ramp. Evelyn follows close behind. COLE And the Champion is here!! COACH I would HARDLY call him a champion, Mike. The kid was AWARDED the title by his cousin - who is the OAOAST PRESIDENT, might I add! He's walking out of here empty handed! COLE How can you say he was just GIVEN the title, Coach? We both saw it when he defeated Yoshida Shimizu for the SJPW Cruiserweight Title in Japan, we've seen him defend this belt as the Cruiserweight AND Intercontinental Title TWICE against Colin Maguire, Jr., each time, Jereme Grey comes out on top...week after week. -Jereme slides into the ring, slapping hands with Curtis Black as the music fades out... DING DING DING!!! COLE THE MATCH IS UNDERWAY!! -Curtis Black wastes no time, rushing towards Colin Maguire, Jr. Black swings his arm wildly, looking for a clothesline, but Junior ducks underneath, then almost immediately leaps up, grabbing hold of Curtis' head...WHAMBANGCRASH!!~!~ COLE D-STREET CUTTER!!! -The fans boo as Patrick Callahan rushes towards Curtis, stomping a mudhole into him. Junior stands slowly, his eyes never leaving Jereme, who stands in the corner. Jereme cracks his neck as Colin beckons him forward. The fans are on their feet as Jereme smiles wide. He takes a step forward...AND OUT OF NOWHERE IS HIT WITH A SPIN WHEEL KICK FROM PATRICK CALLAHAN!! The fans boo as Callahan continues to stomp on Jereme, aiming most of his aggression towards the champs injured ribs. Jereme, knowing to avoid this situation by now, grabs onto the bottom rope and slides out, straight into the arms of his little lady. Meanwhile, Junior begins putting the boots to Curtis Black, who is struggling to get back up from the D-Street Cutter. He is soon joined by Callahan, who drives devastating soccer kicks straight into the ribs of Black. Junior grabs Black by his head and picks him up, then turns to Callahan. JUNIOR "Get a ladder!" -Callahan nods and slides out of the ring...AND IS SPEARED BY JEREME GREY INTO THE STEEL STEPS!! The fans erupt as Jereme begins driving his fists into the face of Callahan. After about 10 punches, Jereme stops and stands, and is handed a ladder by Evelyn! Jereme slides it into the ring, and follows it closely. Junior picks Black up, tossing him into the corner turnbuckle. Junior backs up a few feet, then jets forward...AND IS TAKEN OUT WITH A HUGE SUPERKICK FROM CURTIS BLACK!! The fans erupt as Colin Maguire, Jr. rolls out of the ring, clutching at his jaw, while Curtis Black jacks his...jaw. Jereme Grey, on the other hand, is setting up the ladder in the middle of the ring. Curtis turns to him, and the two lock eyes. Curtis smiles a little, as does Jereme...and the two shake hands! The fans erupt as they back away from each other a bit...THEN RUSH FORWARD! A collar-and-elbow tie up occurs, and Jereme gets the upperhand, putting his Curtis into a side head lock...BUT GETS LAID OUT BY A HUGE CLOTHESLINE FROM PATRICK CALLAHAN!! Jereme's head bounces off the mat, causing the ladder to teeter a bit. Callahan drives his boot into the head of Curtis Black, before grabbing hold of the ladder....AND HE SLAMS IT DOWN ONTO THE RIBS OF JEREME GREY! The fans OOOOO as Jereme screams in pain, clutching at his ribs. Callahan quickly grabs the ladder and picks it up, stalking after Curtis, who is starting to stand. Callahan smirks as Curtis turns...WHAM!! The fans groan as Curtis clutches at his forehead and rolls out of the ring, just as CMJ rolls back into the ring, this time carrying a steel chair. COLE Patrick Callahan is wrecking house!! And now Colin Maguire, Jr. has a chair?! COACH The IRA are in control!! WHACK!! COLE WHAT?! Colin Maguire, Jr. just hit Patrick Callahan with the steel chair!! -The fans erupt as Callahan drops the ladder and clutches at the back of his head. CMJ drops the chair, and almost immediately, grabs the ladder and picks it up. He opens it slowly, looks around, then begins to climb. The fans boo as Colin quickly climbs up the ladder. With each step, the boos grow louder. COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. is only looking out for himself! First, he hits his friend in the head... COACH ...and the next thing ya know, he's trying to win the damn match! What a selfish bastard! COLE ...shut up. Colin reaches up, his finger-tips touching the bottom of the belt, he takes one more step...AND CURTIS BLACK IS BACK IN THE RING!! Curtis runs forward...and pushes over the ladder!! CMJ lets out a yell as he plummets...and HE GETS CROTCHED ON THE TOP ROPE! The male fans let out a collective groan, AND JEREME GREY IS UP! The fans erupt as Jereme dashes towards the turnbuckle. He leaps, lands on the second rope, and rebounds off, twisting in mid-air! Jereme swings his left arm wildly...AND CONNECTS WITH A MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE! The fans erupt as CMJ topples out of the ring, hitting the apron hard before crashing to the mats below! Jereme stands triumphantly, taunting his archrival as Curtis picks up the chair. He looks around the ring, noticing that Callahan had rolled outside. He looks over his shoulder at Jereme...and smirks. Jereme slowly turns around as Black runs past him. He hops up onto the second rope, and in a flash, leaps off, twisting in mid-air. With the precision of a sniper, Black positions the chair in front of Jereme's face, and throws his left leg behind the champs head....CRASH!~! COLE A springboard 180 FameAsser onto the chair!! That was incredible!! COACH I am changing my opinion on Curtis Black!! The kid knows how to take advantage of the situation...hell, he might even win it! COLE Are you gonna change your winner again, Coach? COACH ...Maybe...Maybe not...maybe go fuck yourself. -Curtis Black, ignoring the small boos, picks up the ladder and positions it under the title. Slowly, he begins his climb. Each step, the boos are replaced with cheers...but CMJ is back in the ring! He quickly picks up the chair and swings wildly, hitting Black right in the small of his back. Black lets out a pained yell as CMJ quickly unfolds the chair. CMJ runs the ropes, before leaping up onto the chair. In a flash, he leaps off...AND GRABS BLACKS HEAD!! CMJ drags Curtis off the ladder...CRASH!! A HUGE D-STREET CUTTER!!! COLE ANOTHER D-STREET CUTTER TO CURTIS BLACK!! HIS NECK IS DEAD!! COACH Good! Little bastard had it coming! The fans boo as Curtis rolls out of the ring, and in a heartbeat, CMJ IS CLIMBING THE LADDER!! The boos increase as CMJ climbs quickly. COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. could win this thing!! His fingers are grazing the title!! -...BUT PATRICK CALLAHAN IS BACK IN THE RING!! Callahan quickly climbs up the ladder and is face to face with CMJ, who is in complete shock...WHAM!! The fans erupt as CMJ reels back, covering his face with one hand. He slowly turns his head to Callahan, who is reaching for the title belt!...WHAM!! Callahan, now, reels back...WHAM!! And Callahan answers with a right hand of his own! WHAM!! A right hand from CMJ...WHAM! ANOTHER right hand from CMJ! Patrick Callahan is reeling! CMJ rears back and swings...AND CALLAHAN DUCKS UNDERNEATH! He quickly wraps his arm around CMJ's head, before reaching around the ladder, grabbing onto CMJ's tights! The cheers from the fans grow louder as Callahan takes one more step up the ladder...AND LIFTS!! COLE SUPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER?! COACH I think Paddy Callahan has a BETTER plan than that! -The two members of IRA plummet towards the mat, but Callahan twists his body midway...CRASH!!! COLE SOUTHIE'S REVENGE FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!! A JACKHAMMER FROM THE TOP!! BOTH OF THESE MEN ARE OUT!! -The fans erupt as both men writhe in pain, clutching at their ribs. The cheers grow louder as Jereme Grey slowly stands, holding his forehead in pain. Evelyn screams to him, telling him everyone's out. Jereme looks at her, quizzical. EVELYN "THE LADDER! CLIMB. THE. FUCKING. LADDER!" -Jereme looks confused, then looks around the ring. "Cash Money" Curtis Black is out from the huge D-Street Cutter. Patrick Callahan and CMJ are out from that insane Southie's Revenge from the top of the ladder. Jereme's the only one left!! The fans erupt as Jereme nods, stumbling towards the ladder. He shakes his head, trying to shake the cobwebs loose as he takes a step onto the first rung of the ladder... then another... ...and another... ...and another!... COLE Jereme Grey is the only one left! He's going to retain!! COACH NO!...WAIT!! There's some movement in the crowd!! -Coach isn't lying, and through the crowd runs GQ BUCKINGHAM! COLE The newest recruit of The IRA is coming to the ring! Colin Maguire, Sr. is NOT going to let Jereme Grey walk out of here with the title!! -The cheers turn to boos as Buckingham hops the guardrail, grabbing one of the matches other ladders at ringside. He slides in quickly, just as Jereme lifts his arm, his hand clutching the title...WHACK!! The fans groan as the tossed ladder nails Jereme in the upper back. Jereme groans as GQ slowly climbs up the ladder after the champ...Buckingham suddenly turns around...and positions Jereme Grey in a powerbomb position!! COLE ...No...no...it looks like...it looks like GQ Buckingham is looking for a powerbomb...from the TOP of the ladder! COACH HA! He was the best purchase the IRA coulda made, Mike! -Jereme, trying his hardest NOT to get powerbombed, starts driving his fists into the head of Buckingham, who starts to lose his grip...Jereme, using his upper body strength, vaults himself over the top of the ladder! He narrowly hangs on, positioning his feet on one of the rungs, as Buckingham turns around to face him, climbing up two extra rungs for the height advantage. GQ swings his right hand wildly, but Jereme ducks underneath, grabbing Buckingham's arm! WHAM! WHAM!! Two hard punches send GQ reeling. Jereme sees his opportunity...and climbs up an extra rung. Jereme quickly crosses himself...BEFORE LEAPING UP! Jereme, using his incredible speed and agility, wraps his legs around Buckingham's neck and arm! Jereme falls backward, hitting the ladder hard with his back, but it doesn't matter! THE TRIPOD AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER HAS BEEN LOCKED IN!! COLE NOW I've seen everything!! Jereme Grey has GQ Buckingham locked into the Tripod at the TOP OF THE LADDER!!! -The fans erupt as GQ frantically tries to escape from the submission, but it's locked in too tight!! GQ, out of complete desperation, begins tapping out!! Obviously, that's not going to work, but at least he's trying!! Jereme, realizing that this won't win the match for him, releases the hold, skillfully rolling backwards as he falls down the ladder. GQ hits the mat with a thud as Jereme scrambles to stand and climb the ladder. He starts to climb, this time faster than before. BUT PATRICK CALLAHAN IS UP!! Patrick quickly grabs the other ladder and sets it up. Jereme slowly makes his way up the ladder as Callahan climbs the other ladder on the opposite side. Both men reach the top of the ladder at the same time! WHAM!! A right hand from Callahan rocks Jereme Grey, who...WHAM!...responds with a right hand of his own! WHAM! Callahan with the right hand! WHAM! JEREME with the right hand! WHAM! Callahan! WHAM! Jereme! Both men are fighting for position...AND CURTIS BLACK IS BACK! The fans erupt as Curtis Black climbs the opposite side of Patrick Callahan's ladder...WHAM!! Callahan is rocked by a right hand from Curtis Black...WHAM! He's rocked by a right hand from Jereme!!...Curtis and Jereme look at each other...and Curtis nods. COLE What did Curtis Black just nod at? COACH Whatever it is, I'm SURE it's bad news for Patrick Callahan! DON'T DO IT!! -Curtis climbs up one more rung, grabbing Callahan in a DDT position! The fans cheers rise along with them, as Curtis flashes the "WestSide" hand sign...AND FLIPS, DRAGGING PATRICK CALLAHAN WITH HIM!!.... .....CRASH!!!~!~! COLE C.R.E.A.M. FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!~!~ CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!! FANS "HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!" -Patrick Callahan clutches at the back of his neck as he writhes around in pain, while Curtis Black does the same, only clutching at his ribs. Both men slowly roll out of the ring as Jereme watches on, a look of complete shock on his face. "Holy shit..." he says. Evelyn Maguire stares wide-eyed at the two men, both of whom are completely out. COACH Jesus Christ....Let's See That AGAIN!! -Coach's wish is answered, as the current moment in the ring is turned into a small box in the corner of the replay. In slow motion, we see Curtis Black leaping off the ladder, front flipping over the top of it, and twisting Patrick Callahan, dragging him with him. CRASH!~ The impact is intense. We now switch to the "Wile E. Coyote Cam" angle, showing the C.R.E.A.M. in regular motion...CRASH!! The screen returns to normal as Jereme shakes his head, not realizing that CMJ is climbing up the ladder behind him!! CMJ, not trying to waste time, wraps his arms around the waist of Jereme Grey. CMJ lifts...CRASH!!! A HUGE GERMAN SUPLEX!! Jereme flops backward, landing on his stomach. The fans boo as CMJ stands quickly, rushing towards the ladder. Outside the ring, Evelyn rushes around to the opposite side of the squared circle as EMT's come running out, bringing two stretchers reserved for Curtis Black and Patrick Callahan with them. Evelyn tries to wake her boyfriend up as CMJ gets closer and closer to the Intercontinental Title!! He reaches.... ...and his fingertips only graze the title! Evelyn looks at Jereme, then her brother, back to Jereme, back to CMJ...AND SHE SLIDES INTO THE RING!! The fans erupt as Evelyn picks up the chair, making a bee-line for CMJ and the ladder. CMJ reaches up, SO close to the title... WHACK!! The fans cheer and groan as CMJ winces in pain, slouching his body over the top of the ladder. Evelyn, still clutching the chair, rushes to the other side... ...AND STARTS TO CLIMB!! COACH What!? She's not in this match! What if she grabs the title?! COLE ...GOOD QUESTION!! I guess it would count as a win for Jereme Grey? COACH ...WHAT?! FUCK THAT! -Evelyn quickly climbs up, the fans rising with each step she takes. CMJ looks up, just as Evelyn rears the chair back.....WHACK!!!! The fans erupt!! CMJ's eyes glaze over, just as he plummets backwards!! CRASH!~!~ CMJ clutches at the back of his head as Jereme Grey stands slowly...JUST AS GQ BUCKINGHAM SLIDES INTO THE RING!! COLE HE'S HEADING RIGHT FOR EVELYN!! COACH GET HER!! -Evelyn glares at GQ...BEFORE TOSSING HIM THE CHAIR!! GQ Buckingham instinctively catches it, just as Evelyn leaps off the ladder!! CRASH!!!~!~ THE FANS ERUPT AS EVELYN MAGUIRE DELIVERS HER OWN VERSION OF THE VAN DAMINATOR!! COLE A CHAIR ASSISTED FRONT DROPKICK TO THE FACE OF GILES BUCKINGHAM!! EVELYN MAGUIRE IS ON FIRE!!! -Evelyn clutches at her back as she stands slowly, pointing for Jereme to climb the ladder. He nods and shakes the cobwebs loose, before making his ascent!! The cheers grow louder with each step Jereme takes...two steps away...one step...Jereme Grey reaches up... ...his fingers graze the bottom...he steps on his toes, reaching with his entire body... AND UNHOOKS THE TITLE!!! JEREME GREY RETAINS THE OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE!! BUFFER "YOUR Winner...and STIIIIILLLLLL....the OAOAST INTERCONTinental Champion....JEREME...GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! -The fans erupt as "Rockers to Swallow" hits the PA system. Jereme collapses off the ladder, hitting the mat with a thud. Evelyn limps towards him, still clutching her back. Jereme sits up slowly, raising the title belt above his head. Evelyn kneels beside him, and the two embrace and share a kiss. COLE This win was just as much because of Evelyn Maguire as it was Jereme Grey! COACH Dammit! Dammit! COLE Colin Maguire, Sr. is NOT going to be happy, Coach! COACH Oh, who cares?! I just lost 500 bucks! COLE ...h-how could you bet on something where you keep changing your answer? COACH ...I was hoping the bookie was watching and heard me change my winner... COLE And while Jereme Grey was JUST on the ladder, with no-one around, you didn't say "Jereme Grey is my pick?" COACH ...shit... COLE ...JEREME GREY IS STILL THE OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!~ COMMERCIAL on a ppv? Cole, said we'd be right back, who am I to argue. Backstage, Brock Ausstin is seen doing elevated pushups, as the crowd cheers. COLE And there is Brock Ausstin, two-time Heartland champion, the man with the most experience in the Chamber of Hell, appearing in the previous two! Will the third time be the charm for him, can he walk away with his third Heartland title? Edited September 30, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2008 (edited) Backstage, Melissa Nerdly is sitting on a bench as her crack camera crew gets their stuff ready, then stands up as she sees a female backstage worker approach her with a note. WORKER Hey Melissa! I'm supposed to give you this note. MELISSA Here, let me see it! Melissa opens the note, and begins to read it aloud. MELISSA "Dear Melissa, I'm sorry if I came off as rude with my reaction to you last week. I'd love it if you could meet me tonight at the Mariott, so I can make it up to you the right way. Sincerely, Leon" Melissa and the worker look at each other, both with wide-eyed smiles. WORKER Lucky girl! MELISSA Oh, I can't believe it! *looks to her crew* Take the night off, boys. Something just came up! The giddy Melissa hands her mic to the worker, then runs off as the worker looks on. COLE The heck was that all about? COACH I'd have thought that was pretty obvious. "Sympathy For The Devil" hits, and we now take a break from in-ring action, as the arrival of the Enterprise CEO is not for a match, but for a personal vendetta. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to Zero Hour...THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Resounding boos follow the announcement from the best ring announcer in the business, as Moneymaker cockily swaggers his way down the aisle. Stepping into the ring, Moneymaker appears to want to get right to business, claiming the microphone from the legendary Buffer. MONEYMAKER These past few weeks, I have heard nothing but disdain for my decision to be here tonight. I have heard people have the audacity to claim that I would not sign on for a match with Zack Malibu tonight at Zero Hour because I fear him. Right now, I ask that you people get those twisted thoughts out of your head, and do it quick! To think that a man of my stature lives in fear of a worthless pretender, a FRAUD like Zack Malibu, is purely ridiculous! My not signing a contract for a match is going easy on Zackary Malibu, though, because what he has to face tonight is much, much worse. Tonight, Zack Malibu will come face to face with all of his past deeds. Tonight, karma catches up with Zack Malibu, and he will have hell to pay for the lies, for the cheating, the assaults, the attacks, the pulling strings to get his way...tonight Zack Malibu realizes that his own worst enemy was never Stephen Popick, or Crystal, or Bruce Blank, oh no. Tonight Zack Malibu will have to realize that his own worst enemy is his very own self! The fans boo loudly, not satisfied with Moneymaker's excuse for not competing tonight, nor are they happy with his verbal attack on Zack Malibu. MONEYMAKER Go ahead! Go ahead and boo me, hate me, jeer me for revealing the God's honest truth to you people! You're booing because you don't want to admit you've been had! You people can claim that Zack Mailbu is your hero, your savior, your Franchise, but who deemed him fit for that? Ask yourselves that question...how did a man like Zack Malibu become the saving grace of the human race? Because of meticulous planning, of brainwashing, of shoving himself down your throats and spouting his own personal gospel enough that you believed it! I've got news for you people. You turn on your TV's and see Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin and think they're funny, but guess what...THEY'RE NOT REAL. You flip over to see the CSI time crack the big case or to see Lucas and Peyton get back together on One Tree Hill, but THEY'RE NOT REAL. You are laughing, you are crying, you are cheering for FICTIONAL CHARACTERS who have taken over your emotions, just like Zack Malibu! The Zack Malibu that comes out here each and every week, the Zack Malibu that's such a nice guy, that lives, breathes, and bleeds the OAOAST is FICTIONAL. He is a scripted scene of the American dream, people! He's everything that you schlubs in the seats and at home wish you were, he's good looking enough that the women go nuts for him, but that whole "poster boy" act is just that. It's an ACT, people. The REAL Zack Malibu is the one that crept out four years ago, when he blasted Crystal, a WOMAN, with his title belt! The REAL Zack Malibu is the one that got Sly Sommers kicked out of the OAOAST...THE SAME SLY SOMMERS THAT'S HIS BEST FRIEND NOW, MIND YOU...for speaking the truth about him during an interview! The Zack Malibu you all know gets verbally fellated by Michael Cole on television every week, the same Michael Cole that used to have his ass mocked and kicked by the real Zack Malibu! The real Zack Malibu claims to be there for his friends, but how much of a role model can you be when you associate with porn stars and addicts? Zack Malibu is not good for this company, he is not good enough for you people, and he has used his influence to destroy lives, destroy careers. As a pillar of the OAOAST, I can not, I shall not, and I will not let that happen Zack! Tonight, I ask you...I urge you to come to this ring and live up to that fearless attitude that you preach to those who are easily deceived! Come to this ring, Zackary, and face karma in its purest form, because tonight is the night that you are finally exposed! No longer will people have to be wary of my word! No longer will you be able to keep up this facade! Tonight, Zack Malibu shall be seen as the cutthroat that he is! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! COLE Moneymaker is way out of line tonight. We know Zack's made mistakes in the past. Zack knows that more than anyone, but I'd say over the past several years he's made his amends. Seriously, when was the last time The Thrillogy were even mentioned until now!? COACH It ain't all about that Mikey Cole. Whether you wanna talk about Zack's arrival in 2002, his first title win in 2003, The In Crowd then and now, The Thrillogy, whatever the case...the whole time, Zack's been lying to these people. When brother finally snapped, that was the realest you and I have ever and will ever see him, and that's truth. There's a ton of heat in the arena at this point, and not just the kind that'll make you sweat. Moneymaker is being soundly booed by the fans for his blasphemy, but simply mentions "you'll see" to them as he waits. The crowd is buzzing, booing, and waiting, wanting to see the rich superstar smacked once or twice for his words, and when "Getting Away With Murder" hits, the crowd explodes, as they're going to get their wish. COLE You want to talk about truth, Cole, the truth is that if I were Theodore Moneymaker, I'd be a little on edge right now! Zack is clad in jeans and a t-shirt...not exactly formal wear but he's ready for a fight in case one breaks out. Judging by the expression on his face, there's a strong possibility one will, as he is none too happy with the slanderous Moneymaker's verbal barrage. The fans roar as Zack steps into the ring and stands face to face with Moneymaker, who then turns away to grab another mic, handing it to Zack with a sly, sinister smile. MONEYMAKER You're going to need that, Zack. At least for now, because I guarantee you by the time this is over, you're going to be speechless! MALIBU Is that the best you've got? MONEYMAKER Oh I've got... *SMACK~!* Malibu levels Moneymaker with a slap, and ol' Teddy doesn't take too kindly to having his jaw knocked out of place! MALIBU I'M talking now, because I have heard ENOUGH of you. These people have heard enough of you! MONEYMAKER No, these people have not heard enough, because they haven't heard enough of the TRUTH! You do a good job of putting the blinders on them Zack, but face it, all this, this superhero routine, it's just a cover up! MALIBU A cover up? A cover up of what, exactly? You come out here week after week, claiming that I'm some type of antichrist. That everything I say or do is for show. You've convinced yourself that I'm living a lie, and why exactly? Let's face it Theodore, it boils down to nothing but simple, petty, jealousy! The crowd "oohs", "aahs", and cheers, while TM looks incredulous to that accusation. MONEYMAKER JEALOUS? Of YOU? Now, why, Zackary, would a man of MY stature have to be jealous of you? I can afford the clothes you wear. I have more God given talent in my billion dollar body than you could learn with twenty years of wrestling training. I can get a better looking girl any night of the week than your little trollup at home, and don't have to worry about them being damaged goods like yours became when she popped out your hellspawn! Malibu, incensed now, turns away...then CLOCKS Moneymaker with a right hand! Zack goes after him, but Moneymaker rolls out of the ring, avoiding the assault! MALIBU THAT'S why your jealous, Teddy! You talk about my family all you want, but the last guy who got them involved hasn't been seen in almost two years! You want to bash me, fine. I'm all for it, I've been through it, and I can prove you wrong any day of the week! You might not be jealous of my bank account, and you sure as hell aren't good enough to be a family man or a father. But you're jealous of the fact that I didn't need my money to prove myself. I didn't need to buy anyone off or sign a paycheck to get people to join The In Crowd, or any other faction I've been a part of. I never had to ask to become the driving force of the OAOAST, it was an HONOR, Teddy, an HONOR given to me by the guy who started this company! MONEYMAKER And where is he now, Zack? He's out, he's gone! MALIBU Because of YOU, and again, because of you're jealousy! You hate the fact that you can't bribe me and get me on your payroll. You hate the fact that I've made an honest living out of my career in the OAOAST... MONEYMAKER HONEST? Zack, you are anything but! You're not honest to the locker room, you're not honest to these people, and you're not honest with yourself! MALIBU Strong words coming from a guy who has to buy his way out of trouble! MONEYMAKER Don't mock me for using my money wisely, Zackary. Tonight, you're going to wish you could buy your way out of trouble, believe me. You and I, we're not going to see eye to eye on this, and I know that these fools in the building and at home won't take my word for something, so. It's time. It's time for you to face your past not with another highlight reel of your misdeeds. Tonight, Zack Malibu is going to be exposed for the selfish bastard unworthy of his place in life! Zack Malibu, please turn to the entranceway. Malibu, weary of an attack, slowly turns around, but Moneymaker stays out on the floor. MONEYMAKER I told you that tonight, it would be Zero Hour for you, Zack. Tonight, someone who knows you much better than I do has agreed to expose you. Someone once beloved by these fans. Someone once beloved...by YOU. Malibu, perplexed by that statement, turns to the entry way, where a rather attractive woman in her late 20's appears. Though she looks a little different, it's quite obvious to Zack and many of the longtime fans who it is, as we're able to see by their shocked reactions. MONEYMAKER Never expected THIS, did you, Zack? The person who once knew you better than anyone in this world. Every deep dark secret hidden in your heart and mind was shared with her. You LOVED her, Zack, and you left her sitting by the phone, waiting for a call that never came! You abandoned her for the sake of your own damn career! Now, face your mistakes, Zack. Face your past, because I would now like to announce that I, Theodore Moneymaker, have brought back the one part of The In Crowd that you forgot when you decided to reform it. Zack Malibu, ladies and gentlemen of the viewing audience, please welcome back...ALISON! COACH Ha ha! Your boy Zack never saw this one coming, did he, Mikey Cole? COLE I don't think ANY of us saw this, Coach? Bruce Blank, EvenflowDDT, Stephen Popick...I think those were all names we expected. Some conspiracy theorists even suggested Anglesault himself was in cahoots with Moneymaker, but...Alison? Alison is led by the hand by Moneymaker, and goes up the steps and gets into the ring. Moneymaker hands her his mic and stands on the apron, his face overcome with glee, as Malibu remains confused and angered in the ring. ALISON Hello, Zack. MALIBU What are you doing here, with him? ALISON Wow, the jealousy just comes right out now, doesn't it? Don't worry Zack...I assure you it's strictly a business relationship with Moneymaker, but then again, why would you care? MALIBU You know I didn't mean it like that. I mean, what are you doing with him? Why are you, of all people, siding with this piece of... ALISON Hold on, Zack. Let's have a little history lesson here. Let's explain to those who don't know the truth just why they haven't seen me in FIVE YEARS. Let's explain to the world how you left me, Zack. I did EVERYTHING for you. Being with you tore my family apart, thanks to my psycho brother and you and Evenflow's wars with him. It was because of YOU that Evenflow snapped and became a man that I was afraid of. I sought solace with you, Zack. I trusted you. I LOVED YOU. YOU, however...you thought highly of no one but yourself, and left me to rot! MALIBU I left YOU to rot? July 24, 2003, Alison. That was the last time I ever saw you or said a word to you. That was the night that YOU decided that YOU needed to get out of this business. That life was hard on you. On that night, I stood by, wanting to help you but knowing I couldn't. You asked me to stand by you and I said I would, but then it was YOU who stopped returning calls, it was YOU who stopped showing up at arenas... ALISON ...and it was YOU who hooked up with that tramp right after? Malibu is incensed, as Alison is now targeting the woman he loves. The mother of his child. MALIBU Don't... ALISON Don't what, Zack? Mock your wife? Oh wait, that's right...YOU'RE NOT MARRIED? I guess it's only fitting that a bastard like you has a bastard child. Moneymaker starts laughing, and when Zack makes a move, he plants himself behind Alison, using her as a shield, drawing the ire of the crowd yet again. ALISON Let's face it, Zack. The reason you left me is the same reason you leave her at home, watching your demon spawn. It's the reason why you're too much of a coward to put a ring on her finger and enter the union of marriage. It's the same reason why Theodore Moneymaker found me and brought me here. It's because the only person that matters to Zack Malibu IS Zack Malibu! You don't care about anyone but yourself, and anyone who gets hurt is just collateral damage to you. Think of it, Zack. Evenflow, Superstar, Calvin Szechstein, Hoff...the list goes on, but it began with ME. The list of people that you used up until every ounce of their worth was drained. The people that you surrounded yourself with to protect your titles, your ego, and the fact that you're a fraud. You claim to be a role model to these people? Well, honey, just like Alix told me five years ago, you're no role model. You're not a strong person. ANYONE could do what you do, you just lucked into the spot. You're good at playing a role, but as far as being genuine, you have a tremendous amount to learn. I don't intend to air all your dirty laundry tonight, because that's not what the paying audience wants to see. I will, however, make them want to pay to see you get decimated. I'm going to make these people hate you as much as I do. With that, Alix drops her mic, and steps out of the ring as Moneymaker holds the ropes for her. Moneymaker turns and takes one last look at Zack, who seems to be in a state of shock and confusion moreso than anything. Moneymaker delivers his trademark cackle and walks out of the ring with Alison, leaving Malibu to absorb the shocking return of his former girlfriend. Edited September 30, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2008 (edited) "RAAAAHHHHH!" "RAAAAHHHHH!" "RAAAAHHHHH!" Those primal sounds are made by "The Samoan Wrecking Ball", Faqu, going through a strange warm-up routine of doing reps with an empty gas bottle. James Blonde kneels a safe distance away encouraging his wild Samoan running buddy, until Faqu throws the bottle away with a metallic *clunk*. Fired up the Samoan beats his chest yelling in his native tongue, while a slightly nervous looking James Blonde applauds him. COLE Faqu, clearly ready to step inside the Heartland Chamber Of Hell tonight. COACH I hope for everyone else's sake Faqu doesn't start out inside a chamber. He's unstable as it is, without caging the animal and then releasing him to fight! COLE Okay, up next we will see the Women's Championship on the line. The feel-good story of the Summer Jade Rodez-Duncan proved herself to the world last month when she finally overcome the seemingly unbeatable Malaysia Nerdly at AngleSlam, to win the Women's Title and make Mom proud. But she's soon found out that being Women's Champ doesn't stop there. The honeymoon was brought to an end by Megan Skye in tag team action just a couple of weeks later. And now, Jade has another battle to prove herself here at Zero Hour, facing Megan one on one in her first title defence. COACH And we're gonna find out once at for all if, as expected, Jade's win at AngleSlam was a fluke. Because if it was Megan will expose her for the fraud she is real quick. COLE Megan has led her man Landon Maddix to three World Championships here and in the SWF. She's also been Women's Champion of the SWF, although I'm told that doesn't really count for much whatsoever. But, the fact is, Megan may not be Malaysia but she's still a formidable test for Jade. A very different test. Jade found a way to overcome Malaysia's brute force and power, but Megan will strike fast and wrestle smart and Jade will need a totally different gameplan tonight. COACH And like I told you on Thursday, Jade ain't got no game. COLE Let's not get into the grammar arguement again, shall we? Instead let's go to the ring. "Slide Away" by Oasis plays as the challenger emerges through the entrance way. Megan Skye walks with her head held high to the ring, a confident look on her face as she climbs the ring steps. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing the challenger... from Providence, Rhode Island. She is the brains behind Cucaracha Internacional... MMMEEEEEEEEEEEGGAAAAAAANN... SSSSSSSSKKYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan warms up throwing a shadow punch combo with her heavily taped hands. COLE A big chance for Megan tonight and a chance for her to restore some pride for her man Landon, at the expence of the Duncan family. COACH The scourge of the Duncan family, but yeah, the Duncan family all the same. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, to a BIG reaction. Bounding through the entrance way comes Jade Rodez-Duncan, pulling the Women's Title from around her waist and raising it exuberantly over her head, as if to say "look at me, I'm the Women's Champion!" Spotting a particularly large sets of signs spelling out 'J A D E' towards the back of the arena Jade points them out and seems to get lost in the amazement that someone would devote their time to cutting the letter of her name out of bright orange cardboard and bring them to a wrestling show all for little ol' her, as she forgets to tag any hands until she's halfway down the aisle. BUFFER And her opponent! She now resides in Los Angeles, California... the second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is the defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jade enters demurely underneath the bottom rope before climbing the turnbuckles, again raising the belt with excitement, while pulling the hem of her cheerleader skirt down with a little embarrassment. "When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies" As she jumps off the turnbuckles Jade turns to see Megan watching, looking very unimpressed. And suddenly Jade is hit by an attack of nerves. The smile disappears and she loses all the small but improved confidence she brought with her, as she hands her title belt over to referee Charles Robinson. COACH Look at her, like a deer in headlights. Face it, it's over. COLE The bell hasn't even rung yet Coach. Can you just tone your cynicism down even a little? COACH You're right, I'm sorry. Jade takes deep, controlling breaths and tries to calm herself down as Robinson holds the belt up for the crowd. After checking both women are ready, and getting a less than convincing answer on one side, he then signals to the timekeeper's table. *DINGDINGDING!* COACH Okay, there's the bell. Now it's over. Cautiously Jade leaves her corner, circling with Megan who looks much more at ease. After sizing each other the two ladies lock up. And it's the older, wiser Megan who slides behind Jade with a waistlock, taking her up off her feet and to the canvas. Megan controls Jade for a few seconds before getting up and backing away, arrogantly allowing the Champion get to her feet. Pushing up to her knees Jade puts her hands on her hips. COACH See? COLE That was only the first exchange. COACH And it's a humilatingly easy victory for Megan Skye. Let's see if the trend continues shall we? Jade picks herself up and tries to steel herself as another lock-up comes. This time Jade surprises Megan by applying a side headlock which gets a cheer in itself from the Cleveland crowd. From there Jade has nothing though, as Megan slips out and trips Jade's leg. Jade hits the canvas face-first and holds her face, left embarrassed again as Megan again backs away and lets her up. COLE Well, I think Jade really needs to avoid trying to exchange holds with Megan, that much is clear. COACH Yeah, none of that complicated stuff, like HEADLOCKS! Memo to Krista, it ain't too late to consider adoption. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" It's clear the fans are still on Jade's side though and she takes a little heart from that as she gets to her feet. Again they lock-up and there's a jockeying for position, before Megan goes behind with the waistlock. Jade tries to find an escape but comes up empty-handed, so instead resorts to throwing an elbow! Megan gets caught on the jaw and lets go of the waistlock, Jade turning around and staying on the attack throwing forearm strikes! Three forearms back Megan up near the ropes before Jade leaves her feet, with a dropkick which connects in the midsection, sending Skye spilling through the ropes and to the arena floor! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Not the most graceful of dropkicks, but it was effective. As Megan picks herself up, Jade looks to the crowd who are encouraging her to follow-up. Jade seems to get an idea, not one she seems completely sure of but an idea all the same, as she backs across the ring. COLE Wait a second, Jade's not thinking what I think she is, is she? COACH I hope not. She hardly the most aero-dynamic person alive. Jade reaches the opposite side of the ring and there's excitement in the crowd, as she waves the referee out of her way. A deep breath later, she runs across the ring aiming right towards Megan. Ducking her head, Jade prepares to throw herself through the middle rope with a suicide dive... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...BUT MEGAN CUTS HER OFF WITH A KICK TO THE HEAD!!! COACH HAHA! Beautiful! COLE Megan with the interception, and how! That could have been a knockout right there. As Jade slumps back into the ring, Megan flicks the hair from her face to reveal a smirk. She takes her time re-entering the ring and when she does, she drops an elbow to the back of Jade's neck. Jade holds her head, as Megan drops a second elbow. The challenger then turns Jade over and sticks a knee in the back as she applies a rear chinlock. COLE That perhaps ill-advised, high-risk attempt from Jade could come back to haunt her in the end as Megan now takes control with a chinlock. To be honest, I'm not really sure what Jade was thinking. Suicide dives and high-risk moves really aren't her style. COACH Nope, but they are Mommy's style. Maybe if Jade stopped trying to make Mommy happy all the time, she wouldn't fail so often. Megan pulls back on Jade's jaw as referee Robinson checks if she wants to give up. Despite the throbbing pain in her head and now her neck, JRD refuses to give in though, trying to gut it out through the pain while she gets her bearings back. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" The crowd try to lend their support again and Jade tries to feed off it, but it's clear she's in a bad way. Eventually, Skye releases the hold. But she doesn't release Jade, holding her in place by the hair as she drives the point of her elbow across the top of the head. COLE That kick really seems to have shaken Jade up. Jade crawls away to a corner and uses the ropes to pull herself up. Following after her opponent, Megan delivers a boot in the corner, then whips Jade's head back from a hard forearm strike. A second forearm does the same, dropping Jade to one knee. Megan stops and extends her arms, asking the fans if this is all the competition the Champion can give her. COACH This is just easy for Megan right now. COLE She's certainly taking it easy. And Malaysia found out what a mistake that can be last month, didn't she? With Jade trapped in the corner, Megan climbs to the middle rope. With her left leg on the rope, she then places her right across the side of Jade's head... and starts to SCRAPE the sole of her boot across the Women's Champion's face repeatedly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ugh! Look at this! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" Megan breaks the hold and steps off the ropes to a warning from the referee, while poor Jade falls down in the corner covering up her face. COACH Don't worry girl, ain't nobody gonna be losing sleep over that. Picking Jade up, Megan snapmares her out of the corner. The challenger follows up with a hard dropkick to the back, again whiplashing Jade's neck. Megan follows up with a cover... 1... 2... No! As Jade sits up, Megan quickly traps her in the rear chinlock once again. COLE And again, a very controlled offence from Megan, as we expected. COACH And Jade with no answer for it like I expected. COLE You must be so proud of yourself. Again, the Cleveland fans try to get behind the little girl in the cheerleader outfit as she's put at the challenger's mercy. Face showing the strain, Jade looks to be in trouble. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" The support only gets louder though, until Jade starts to react. Digging down deep she starts to stomp a foot, showing she's still in the match. Then, she suddenly turns around onto her knees. Megan holds onto the chinlock but Jade gets to her feet and puts everything she has behind an elbow to the gut. Megan clings on, so Jade delivers a second elbow. And a third. Free of the hold, Jade then drops Megan with a clothesline. COLE And back comes the Champion! What heart being shown here! Jade fires up, knocking Megan down with a back elbow to the face as she gets back up. Suddenly the nervous looks from early in the match are gone and there's an intensity in Jade's eyes! As Megan recovers, Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Skye down with another big clothesline! JADE COME ON!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Exclusive: this Rich Little Blonde Girl Kicks Ass! COACH I dunno where she's getting this from. Sending Megan into a corner, Jade follows her in with an ode to her uncle, driving DOUBLE KNEES at the challenger's (ample (no homo)) chest. Megan staggers from the corner as Jade keeps on running and hits the ropes. As she comes back though, her reckless abandon costs her as Megan is able to counter with a Powerslam! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Yes, got her! 1... 2... NO! COLE Only two, we were close to a new Women's Champion right there. COACH It's only a matter of time now. Whatever possessed Jade for those few seconds is gone now and all Megan has to do is finish her. Looking to do just that, Megan drops to a crouching position and measures Jade as she gets back up. Despite the many warnings being yelled at her Jade gets to her feet, all her momentum snuffed out. And as she turns around, Megan is waiting... ...with the CHICK KICK!! COLE OH! Caught her with the kick, and that, sadly, should do it. COACH What did I tell you. A quiet comes over the crowd as Megan, dusting her hands, drops down and makes the lateral press... 1... 2... NO, SHOULDER UP!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAT?! COLE ONLY TWO! Jade kicks out, it was the Chick Kick that put her away on HeldDOWN, but NOT tonight! Megan looks shocked and complains to the referee that it should have been three. "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" Breaking away from the referee Megan grabs Jade by her expensively styled blonde hair and drags her to her feet roughly. By the hair, she throws her face-first into the top turnbuckle pad. Megan then lifts herself up onto the second rope and hooks hold of Jade by the head. COLE But now Megan looking for the Skye Lyte, if she hits this it will be over! Realising that, Jade fights back with a shot to the stomach. Megan holds on, but Jade fires another shot. And a third. Skye loses hold of the head and Jade quickly takes advantage, as she turns her back on Megan, grabbing hold of both arms and bringing her forwards off the turnbuckles, sitting out to drive her impactfully into the mat!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE No, Jade had the counter! COACH You've got to be kidding me! Still dazed, Jade struggles to follow up after the big move. She has to literally push herself off the second turnbuckle she's fallen against and almost falls on top of Megan as much as covering her... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Even you have to give Jade some credit at this point Coach. She's proving herself all over again, as if she needed to after AngleSlam. COACH You mean by hanging onto this match by the skin of her teeth? Face it, Megan's still firmly in control. Jade's getting a few offensive bursts in but that's about it. COLE You and I must be watching different matches. Both Jade and Megan struggle to pull themselves up. First up is Megan, with just enough time to spare to catch Jade with a sharp right hand. The shot sends Jade sprawling across the ring caught by surprise. But Jade shows her tenacity by getting right back up and nailing Megan with a retaliatory forearm! Megan shakes it off and connects with another quick jab, then strikes with a kick to the leg. Jade comes back with another forearm though and even encourages Megan to come back at her. COLE I think those fighting Duncan genes are kicking in! Looking at little surprised at the little girl standing up to her, Megan puts her kickboxing on display with two quick kicks. Jade has no answer to that and Skye quickly grabs her. Scooping her onto her shoulders, Megan carries Jade around... but Jade escapes, wrapping Megan up in the cobra clutch before pulling her down into the knee with the backbreaker! Megan arches off the knee and holding her back, she falls into a corner. Backing up, JRD charges in at her... but takes an elbow. COLE Ooh, got caught there. As Jade goes backwards, Megan comes out of the corner and aims for the head with another CHICK KI... ...NO! Jade ducks the kick... and grabs a hold of Megan's head as she's off-balance, pulling her down with the patented Duncan reverse x-factor!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There it is! Jade Got It From Her Momma and she's gonna get the win? 1... 2... 3!!! COLE YES! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Jade rolls away from Megan and with great relief is handed her championship belt. BUFFER Here is your winner... and STILL the OAOAST Women's Champion... JJJAAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Clutching the title in her arms, Jade drags herself up the turnbuckles and raises it over her head. COLE Jade dedicating her victory to this Cleveland crowd who certainly played their part in what was a tough title defence for the Women's Champion. And it's the heart and desire of that young lady that shone through at the end. Congratulations to Jade Rodez-Duncan! COACH Could you be any more bias, towards this poor excuse for a Champion loser? Huh? Could ya? COLE *sighs* Jade rolls herself out of the ring and celebrates the victory with some fans in the front row, who quickly overwhelm her by pulling her in for hugs and leaning over her to get their faces on camera. A quite shaken Jade manages to pull herself away from the overzealous fans though and decides to find some less rowdy people to celebrate with, a couple of young children and their parents. Megan sits up in the ring looking pissed at her defeat and scowling at Jade, as she heads to the back. COLE Folks a fantastic title match we just had between Jade and Megan on an already fantastic show. Switching gears a bit, Melody Nerdly was at the fortress of Nerdlytude this week. COACH Good heavens, man, you say that Fortress of Nerdlytude crap with a straight face to. COLE Anyway! She has some exciting news for all you fans out there, so let's take a look! COACH Fortress of Nerdlytude. Fortress of Nerdlytude. Nope, can't do it. Can not do that. What if I tried sounding it out for-tr-ess Damn, son! Before Melody became captain of the starship OAOAST she was but a lowly computer geek patrolling the hallways of the fortress of Nerdlytude. Let us go there! Let us go the house that 10% of the company and 85% of the females in the OAOAST grew up in. Our current view is of the Nerdly master game room, an area that's stunningly organized despite having been home to the activities of god knows how many children. A giant plasma television framed by two massive speakers sits at the head of the room, bellow a family portrait that's almost as big as the TV itself. Amazingly there's not a single videgame system to be seen as they're all stashed away operated by a master control box linked to the TV. Nerdly's do not like the clutter! The controllers for the game systems are numerous however dating all the way back to Colecovision, and there's an entire wall dedicated to instruments for rock band and guitar hero. One wall features bookcases filled with the Nerdly children's individual Madden playbooks as well as records of every score they've racked in every game they've played. Another wall is papered by a row of state of the art AlienWare computers that go down until they reach the miniature concert stage designed for rock band and guitar hero. The concert stage wall isn't actually a wall at all rather, a giant sized space age Ant Habitat the glows a brilliant blue hue. God help us if that ever breaks Perhaps most awesome of all are the three WALL-E remote control robots that handle trash removal, dusting, and drink and snack service, and let us not forget. Or maybe its the fact that the love seat levitates. No lie, read this shit homie! Oh and did I forget to mention the circular doorway is designed to make it look like you're entering the death star. Melody of course has to sit on the floating loveseat, because its floating loveseat damn it! It rules! MELODY Greetings! I am Melody Nerdly, broadcasting this important video from within the fortress of nerdlytude in Edmonton straight to Zero Hour, Myspace, Facebook, Youtube, Dailymotion, Vuze and wherever else anyone may upload it. What are these on my face? These are my intergalactic space glasses. Where can you get them? You can't, so don't ask! What do they do? They let me read your mind without the use of telepathy, of which Alix's ESP class has only advanced me to level three. She says soon I will be able to read the minds of billy goats. Beware billy goats, your secrets are not safe from me. MWAHHHHHA! Thanks to these glasses, the secrets of you viewers aren't safe either. Eighty five percent of you want to know about the brand new game OAOAST No Homo! The other fifteen percent don't know it exists. I'm sorry but I don't deal in noob education, so go off and play with your Wii nunchuck in the closet, while I address the real hardcore gamers. OAOAST No Homo is for you! As long as you own a 360 or a PS3, you can score the newest OAOAST videogame from Capcom, the makers of the great Street Fighter series, Mega Man and the most underrated game you'll never play, Ghouls N Ghosts. MELODY All those other wrestling games you've played are weak sauce. Yes, even No Mercy, and Firepro, CTRL+ALT+DELTE your life fanboys because No Homo is where its at. We've got matches that have never been seen before in games! Chamber Of Hell, Sin City Street Fight, Torneo Cibernetco, War Games, Battle Bowl, and more! My number one friends on Facebook, IGN are helping us with a profile of everyone on the roster until the game is released. Here's the first two of my AIM buddy Alix, and a jerk that will remain nameless because he's a jerk. MELODY I've been on Gamefaqs for months, and I'm stupider because of it, LOLBBQ, and I've heard all kinds of stupid rumors about the roster.! But I'm going to lay the lies to rest and give you the official roster right now...so here it is! If you don't like it, choke on a flaming moe! LOLSIMPSONS1995! MELODY Yeah, that's right I'm in the game! And yeah that's right, I'll probably crush the hell out of you to, so when you reach me in career mode just turn your system off, smash the game into bits, and go out and buy Barbie Superstar Princess for DS. I'll be holding down the fort here in the fortress of Nerdlytude, and keeping you up to date on No Homo for 360 and PS3. I guarantee when you see some more screens, you're going to have a nerdgasm! I know I did! Keep looking towards the Fortress of Nerdlytude, and IGN, because you never know when we're going to bring you screens, profiles, secrets, and 9 on 1 beatings of Logan Mann. Did I mention 10 people on the screen at once? Melody waves goodbye and we lave the awesome Fortress of Nerdlytude to the suddenly blase sofa central COACH Melody forgot to mention the special "PRL mode" where you try to win your job as a WAL*MART greeter back after being fired for being unable to prove you are a documented citizen of this country. Lead PRL through selling fruit on the highway, lingering outside 7-11 hoping to get daywork, going to door to door and seeing if anyone needs their leaves raked, picking up cans on the side of the road so you can 10 cents a pop at the recycling bin, and finally begging for your job back at WAL*MART only to be mugged and shot in the parking lot! Will PRL survive? God I hope not! COLE Why do you continue to antagonize those who could beat you in mere seconds? And have beat you in mere seconds. I will mourn you at your funeral. But folks, let's continue with this great pay per view event as I count down the days until Coach's death. Edited September 29, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 28, 2008 (edited) OAOAST Zero Hour returns into the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland where the fans are going crazy as usual. However, what isn't usual are the four T.V monitors which during the short digression have been wheeled into ringside, and placed around the ring, one on each side. COLE And we are just moments away from our Boiler Room Brawl, with a big issue to be settled. For weeks, the stench of cynicism has hung over Bohemoth after the accusations made by Mackenzie DeCenzo. And a couple of weeks ago, Christian Wright took it upon himself to 'seek retribution' on his former bodyguard, retribution which would lead to this battle tonight. OAOAST BACKTRACKER Out of breath from the lengthy run for his life, Wright stumbles up against a catering table and throws the contents on the floor in a vain attempt to provide an obstacle for the bigman. Turning corners and dodging in and out of corridors, CW takes a sharp left and disappears out of view for a second. Bohemoth wades through the obstacles, including a trash can thrown in his path and turns the left to find... no-one. BOHEMOTH Come on you son of a bitch! Bohemoth looks around and to little surprise sees no-one coming out to face him. Kicking open a door, he looks inside the room, again finding no-one. As he storms back out, Bohemoth then comes to a stop as he sees an ajar door, helpfully labelled 'Boiler Room'. COLE Uh-oh. Bohemoth marches over and pulls the door open... ...and as he disappears inside, we suddenly hear a clattering sound from inside. The sounds continue, no real clue as to what's causing them until the door opens up a little and the cameraman bravely risks a shot inside, to find Bohemoth being attacked by CPA AND DETECTIVE BOSLEY!! COLE HEY! It was a setup! With CPA putting the boots in, Bosley using his telescopic police baton to dish out some police brutality and a crumpled trash can strewn near them, Bohemoth is beaten defenceless. In the background Christian Wright can be seen catching his breath after his lengthy escape. Bohemoth tries to get to his feet to fight back but under the barrage of stomps he simply can't. Once he's suitably weakened, CPA pulls him to his knees and holds his arms behind his back while Bosley goes to work with the baton. BOSLEY HOW'D'YA LIKE THAT, HUH!? C'MON ASSHOLE! HOW'D'YA LIKE THE FEEL OF JUSTICE! Bohemoth's torso wears the red marks from the baton as he's shoved unceremoniously to the ground by CPA. BOSLEY YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!! With Bo defenceless, Wright motions to VICE and they begin to drag him towards CW. His face and body screeches and squeals being dragged against the slick floor just adding to the punishment. VICE deliver Bo to CW's feet and he looks down at his former bodyguard with contempt, before SPITTING ON HIM! Bosley laughs it up at seeing that, until Bo suddenly threatens to spring to life, at which point he has to jump in with CPA and CW to subdue him down him once more. WRIGHT Restrain him! Doing just that, Bosley and CPA hold an arm a-piece as Bo is left helpless. They drag him a few feet forward while CW picks up a big WRENCH. BOSLEY YEAH! DO YOUR DAMN THING! CW pats the wrench in his hand a couple of times, lining Bo up, before taking a swing... *CLUNK* ...at a pipe next to him, sending a shot of red-hot STEAM right into Bohemoth's face!!! Bo cries out in pain with no way to guard his face with his arms restrained. The cruel VICE squad hold him for at least ten agonising seconds in the boiling steam before they throw him down, leaving Bo to cover his face with more pained shouts. Smirking down at him, Wright throws the wrench away, the metal echoing around the boiler room, silent except for Bosley's powerful laugh as the trio leave. As the backtracking ends we return to the arena... but not for long, as the camera cuts away from ringside and to the backstage area. More specifically, it cuts to a green door with an unneccessarily large 'BOILER ROOM' sign on it. COLE Well...there is the Boiler Room... COACH Are you sure? How can you tell!?! COLE Sarcasm aside, and ignored, Bohemoth is apparantly in the boiler room already. We're just waiting on Christian now. Once both men are in the room, the match will start and the first man to leave the confines of the Boiler Room will be declared victorious. --------------------------------------------------------- In the hallway leading to the boiler room, Christian Wright heads towards the makeshift battleground. As the camera pans a little wider, we then see why he might look as confident as he does. Backing him up, The Enterprise's Director Of Security CPA pats him on the back as they reach the boiler room door. After an exchanged fist-bump, CPA then takes his position, arms folded beside the door while Christian carefully enters. Also stood at the door, referee Mike Chioda seems a little wary of this but doesn't have any grounds to do anything about it, so keeps his mouth shut. COLE Oh I smell a rat already. What the hell is this about, CPA standing by? COACH Well, you've gotta have somebody guarding the door. Make sure nobody gets in. COLE Or out, as the case may be. Once inside, Wright begins to look around the relatively spacious boiler-room for any signs of movement. Seeing none, he takes another deep breath, knowing that although he'd be much safer were he to leave now, he has a mission to carry out for his Enterprise... and begins to creep forward down the ramp. On his way, he's smart enough to pick up a 2x4 for protection which seems to fill him with a little more confidence. Until Bohemoth steps out from behind a stack of pipes, dressed in his street clothes. Suddenly the 2x4 doesn't seem so powerful to Christian. But it's the best he's got, so continues to wield it as threateningly as he can manage, while Bo simply walks forward towards him. WRIGHT Back, fiend! Back I say! Bohemoth just glares dead ahead, as he reaches into the back pocket of his jeans and pulls out a nightstick! BOHEMOTH I don't think so. Christian's eyes bug forward and he looks down at his 2x4... before tossing it to the side and making a beeline for the door! Bohemoth is one step ahead of him though, charging towards the door and is just able to tackle Christian to the floor before he can make an escape. A desperate Wright begs off, as Bo drags him away from the door and further into the boiler room, a wide smile on his face as he does so. Once Bo releases him, Wright tries to scramble away again... *OOOOF!* ...but gets clubbed in the ribs with the nightstick! Bohemoth grins again, as the tosses the nightstick aside sending an echoing clunk around the room. Holding his gut, Wright moans and groans in pain as meanwhile Bohemoth takes his time in stepping around him, creating a block between Christian and the door. Wright uses that 'block'... i.e Bohemoth... to drag himself back up, before firing a weak right hand to the gut. Bo simply shrugs it off and grabs Christian by the hair before throwing him into the rail at the side of the ramp... *CLANK!* ...which promptly collapses, sending Christian flying onto a heap of wooden palettes!!! COLE Oh my. Wright wails out in pain, falling off the palettes and to the floor as Bohemoth follows after him. Already Christian looks to be out of his depth, taking a kick to the head from Bo... who turns moments later to grab a wooden palette and drop it to the floor. Again Christian tries to crawl away, but gets caught by Bo and pulled to his feet. A right hand has little effect on the bigman. Neither does a knee. So Wright goes to the last resort, a thumb to the eye, and a boot to the balls! BOHEMOTH Ungghhhhh! Bohemoth groans and collapses against the palette pile. Christian is quick to grab him and send him head-first into them, before starting a hunt for a decent weapon which ends quickly as he finds a metal pipe. Turning around, Wright wields that pipe and swings... ...but Bohemoth ducks! Wright ends up swinging right around, straight into a hard right hand! The pipe goes flying, Wright goes flying... as meanwhile, Bo grabs one of the palettes and breaks a length of wood off. However, before he can use it, Wright has disappeared out of sight. BOHEMOTH Come on you son of a bitch! Where you at!? Obviously Christian doesn't answer... wherever he is. So Bohemoth is left to search around, still clutching the piece of wood... *CRACK!* ...but suddenly gets a piece of wood broken over his back by Wright, who suddenly re-appears as if by magic. Bo collapses forward, but takes the pain like a MAN~ and lets out a wry chuckle. Shocked, Wright grabs him by the arm and looks for an irish whip. It's quickly reversed however, with Bohemoth pulling Christian forward into a short-arm clothesline! Wright bounces off the cold, concrete floor like a ball, getting right back up which isn't best advised, as Bo nails him with a second clothesline! This time Christian doesn't get up, preferring instead to crawl forwards towards one half of the wooden 'plank' he broke moments ago. But Bo stops him, dragging him to his feet and administering an irish whip of his own... *CRACK!* ...sending The Natural straight into side of the pile of palettes! Wright staggers away, into Bohemoth's clutches again for another irish whip... *CRAAASH!!!* ...denting a handily placed filing cabinet! WRIGHT OH! Oh, lord! Wright closes up his body tight in pain as he collapses to a kneeling position. Bohemoth measures his arch rival up and backs up to take a charge at Wright, looking for a Facewash. Christian is able to duck however, leaving Bohemoth's right boot to connect with the cabinet... and even that doesn't no sell, denting severely! Bohemoth quickly shakes off the pain in his foot, as Wright has had enough and decides to play some cat-and-mouse by running off. COLE That may be Christian's best possible tactic. Run like hell. COACH To the untrained eye this may seem like running. However, intelligent minds such as mine will be able to inform you, he's only really jogging. Clearly tiring of all this attempted stalling, Bohemoth glares into the empty space in front of him. Wherever Christian has gone, he's made sure to hide himself well. Angrily Bo walks forward, keeping a relative caution as he does so. BOHEMOTH Come on Christian... Bohemoth reaches what seems to be some sort of holder for a heap of pipes, smiles at his luck and picks up one thin, metal pipe from the stack... ...which we see Christian Wright is hiding under! COLE Look at that cowardly... COACH SSSHHH! He's trying to hide... COLE Bohemoth can't hear us. COACH I know that! I'm just trying to build some atmosphere. Jerk. With the pipe in his hands, Bo looks around the boiler room. BOHEMOTH Come on Christian... there's no point in hiding. Sooner or later, you're going to... *CLANK!* *KEEEE - RRRRAAAASSSSSSSSHHHH!!* Suddenly, Bohemoth weilds around with the pipe which collapses the structure holding the pipes, and causes them all to come crashing down on top of Christian!! You'd expect Bo to be shocked. Or surprised. But instead, he just smiles, showing Wright that he knew where he was the whole time. "...get hurt." Wright groans in pain, as Bohemoth lifts up the pipe... *CLANK!* ...before smashing it over the dozens that cover Wright! Christian quickly scrambles out from under the pipes, dragging himself to his knees. Bo meanwhile exchanges his pipe for a smaller one, which is easier to swing. But he doesn't get a chance to use it, as Wright lunges forward and hits a punch to the ribs. Bohemoth doubles over, as Wright claws around and grabs a pipe, bringing it between Bo's legs. WRIGHT You shall harm no more! *clank!* "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd in the arena groan, as does Bo in the Boiler Room. Christian meanwhile pulls himself up, clearly still groggy from the pipe shower he experienced. He has enough presence of mind to grab Bohemoth by the head and jeans, wheel him around and slam him into the wall however. Bo smacks off the wall, stumbling back into Wright's grasp and quickly getting sent right back into the wall. Not wanting a third visit, Bohemoth stumbles away from Wright as best possible, and around the corner of the wall. COACH Now who's running? The rapist, that's who. COLE People who answer their own questions are assholes. Suddenly, confidence fills Wright's head as he decides to follow after Bohemoth... *PHHHHFFFFTT!!* ...which proves a mistake, as Bo lets off a fire extinguisher towards Wright's path. CW is unable to get his arms up in time, taking the dehabilitating smoke to the face. Bohemoth meanwhile releases the nozzle of the extinguisher and rips it off the wall, before charging forwards... *CLUNK!* ...and nailing Wright over the head with it! Christian hits the floor like a sack of spuds, with the fire extinguisher doing the same just a foot to the side of him. Bo is still up though... and taking his belt off. Seeing it, and thinking god knows what, Wright freaks and tries his best to scramble away in his dis-orientated state. He doesn't get far before Bo has the belt off and loops it around Christian's throat, using it to choke The Natural! COACH You see! He's a sick freak! This is probably what he did to Mackenzie! COLE Well, we still don't know any of that happened. We do know what Christian did though attacking Bohemoth three weeks ago. COACH That's no excuse for this kind of sadism! Frantically Wright struggles to break free from Bohemoth's grip. But the belt around his throat halts any progress he looks to make, not to mention choking the life out of him. Still Wright tries to crawl away, as Bo releases the belt and instead starts to choke Wright with his forearm. Knowing he's in trouble, Christian swings wildly back with a series of elbows which Bohemoth avoids each time. Christian keeps swinging though... "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!" ...until suddenly Bohemoth groans in pain and releases the hold, as a right leg belonging to Christian finds it's way up and between Bo's legs. The Meterosexual Monster doubles over, as Wright stumbles off, returning with a trash can full of wood and cardboard... *THUD!* ...and denting it over Bo's head! Bohemoth falls back against a workbench, as Wright heaves up the trashcan again. COACH There we go, take out the trash Christian! With Wright marches towards him with the trashcan overhead again, the groggy Bohemoth reaches out for the first thing that comes to hand. That being a wrench, which he clips CW in the knee with while ducking the swing of the can... *KE - RASH!!!* ...which Christian loses control of, seeing it fly through a window behind the bench. COACH That's gonna cost us. Hobbled, the lost trash can is the least of Christian's concerns now as Bohemoth grabs him around the head. He drags him off through the boiler room, keeping him quiet with some left hands to the body as he does so. Approaching the heart of the boiler room, Bohemoth throws Christian forward into a huge heating tank. CW's head THUDS off of the side of it and he staggers backwards towards another heavy piece of machinery. He falls against a pipe before realising how hot it is, lurching away from it. Unfortunately, he lurches into a right hand. But a knee manages to cut Bo off and using what he just learned, Christian grabs his opponent in a side healdock, looking to force his head against the burning hot steel pipe! COLE Oh no, he's trying to scold Bohemoth against that pipe! This could disfigure the man for life! COACH Good. Bohemoth instinctively puts his hands up against the pipe to block, soon learning the same mistake CW made moments earlier. He quickly pulls them away, but before his head can touch the metal he catches Wright in the gut with an right hand. And a second. That fends Christian off, but he comes right back with a european uppercut and a knifedge chop to the chest. Wright then grabs hold of Bohemoth and irish whips him, sending him into a ladder which goes toppling to the floor. WRIGHT What say you now, heathen!? Wright picks up a box of some description, slamming it over Bo's back. It being made of cardboard it has virtually no effect. So, in a fix, Wright quickly slaps on a Sleeper Hold. COLE Trying to put the bigman out here. And if he does, he'll have a free route to the door and the victory. Getting to his feet, Bohemoth backs up and squashes Christian up against another water tank. Wright hangs onto the sleeper though, forcing his way up onto Bohemoth's back and making him carry his weight. Backing up again Bohemoth manages to put the back of Christian's head into an overhanging pipe. That breaks the sleeper and leaves CW looking dazed. Bohemoth staggers away a few steps, then turns and charges... only for Wright to pull off a quick lift, putting Bo face-first into the pipe! COACH How about that? COLE Very resourceful on Christian's part that's for sure. After a boot to the head Wright leaves Bohemoth, retrieving the fallen ladder. Wright folds it shut and props it up against one of the sturdiest looking water tanks. Laying a few feet away is another, smaller ladder. Wright picks that up and holds it to his chest as he charges at Bohemoth... and slams it into his back. WRIGHT You see fit to moniker yourself 'Monster'? Hah! Wright brings the ladder down on his opponent again. WRIGHT Look upon you now, pitiable brute! Christian picks Bohemoth up... but Bo fires back with a punch to the gut. And a second. Defensively Wright tries to apply a front facelock, but Bohemoth shrugs him off, quickly getting to his feet and delivering a big boot to the jaw! The shot rocks CW, who stays on his feet but staggers a couple of steps backwards. Picking himself back up, Bohemoth suddenly lets out a low growl and charges, hitting Wright with a football tackle... *KE-RACK!!!!!* ...AND DRIVING HIM BACK INTO THE LADDER, WHICH COMPLETELY FOLDS IN HALF AS CHRISTIAN'S BODY IS SLAMMED AGAINST IT!!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH COLE OH MY GOD! With a look of agony on his face, Christian lays against the mangled ladder with Bohemoth laid out to the side of him catching his breath. Neither man is quick to move, save for Wright's body rolling off of the ladder and to the cold floor. COLE Unbelievable! The ladder broke in half and so too might have Christian Wright's spine! COACH Okay, enough is enough, get somebody back there to help Christian. Bohemoth picks himself back up, discarding the broken ladder. At his feet lies Wright, barely able to move let alone defend himself. Bo isn't done with him yet though and grabs a hold of one of the limp limbs, dragging him through the boiler room by the wrist. Wright's bare back screeches against the floor as he's dragged into position, before being lifted to his feet... and irish whipped into a door leading to the arena's electrics. Hitting the door hard, Wright stumbles out into a clothesline. BOHEMOTH GET UP! Unable to do as he's told Wright tries his best to crawl away instead, getting nowhere fast. Bohemoth stomps him in the back before grabbing a mop, waiting for Christian to get to all fours before *SNAP*ing it across his back. COLE He's just mopping the floor with him now! COACH C'mon, this isn't funny! COLE No, it's payback. And it's been dished out in a big way by Big Bo. Bohemoth walks away from Wright, returning dragging a TABLE by the legs! Setting it, Bohemoth grabs Wright and starts to pick him up. Almost dead weight, Wright falls against the table which is laden with cardboard boxes, a couple of which go flying. After a shot to the back, Bo pulls Wright off the table again and holds him by the head... before getting SURPRISED BY A FACEFUL OF POWDER!! BOHEMOTH AAAAAHHHHH! AH, *bleep!* COACH Yes! COLE Powder right in the eyes. And I don't think Christian brought that with him, I think he stumbled upon it. Who knows what kind of substance that powder is if it was laying around in a boiler room! With Bohemoth temporarily blinded, he falls around trying to reach out and get some sort of feel for where he is. Going back to the table, Wright finds a piece of wood, smashing it over Bohemoth's head! The bigman falls to one knee still pawing at his eyes, while Christian lies in wait, before delivering an STO! COLE Oh! Did you hear the THUD of Bohemoth's head hitting the floor!? COACH I did and I loved it. I'm sure that was music to Mackenzie DeCenzo's ears! Pushing up Wright finds himself just metres away from the exit door... but mere inches away lays Bo's nightstick, and you can guess which Wright goes for. WRIGHT And now, 'Monster'... your preeminent demise! COACH ...yeah, WAFFLE HIM! Grabbing the nightstick, Wright lines Bohemoth up as he gets to his feet and swings with the weapon. Bo sees it coming though, ducking underneath the shot and nailing a punch to the gut. Now Christian doubles over as Bo grabs hold of the nightstick and yanks it out of Wright's hands, quickly clocking him in the forehead with it! COACH NO! That's not fair! COLE You were all for Wright using it! COACH That was different! He was only using it for karmic purposes. Down goes Wright, and seemingly Bo has done enough to appease himself and decides to go for the door. If he can find it through his cloudy vision. But somehow, Wright has enough left to grab desperate hold of Bo's jeans. More irritated than prohibited, Bo turns around and stomps Christian in the head... not once but twice, before pulling his leg away. Now Wright is in trouble, as he's annoyed Bo. Walking off to where the wooden palettes lay, Bohemoth picks up a couple of them and drops them to the small ramp leading to the door. Christian meanwhile has got to all fours and has crawled over. Bohemoth nails him with another kick and pulls him up, looking down at the palettes and smiling. BOHEMOTH Any last words? Wright tries to answer but can't, partly because Bohemoth is taking him up off his feet... *CRAAAACCK!* ...AND DELIVERING THE SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE WOODEN PALETTES!!! The crowd in the arena cheer wildly at what they see, as Wright groans in pain amongst the now broken palettes. Bohemoth meanwhile shrugs Christian off and decides to go for the door. COLE A dominating performance from Bohemoth, gaining retribution in his fight to clear his name. What a war! Bohemoth takes one last look at Christian before opening the door... ...AND GOING DOWN, as he's ambushed by CPA! COLE HEY! Hey, what the hell!? COACH Clear his name? His name is mud Michael and he's about to get ground into the dirt where he belongs! COLE We knew there could be no good from CPA waiting outside the boiler room. This was a set-up! Nailing Bo with a double axehandle, CPA follows him as he stumbles down the ramp. Already having gone through a fight Bohemoth struggles to fight back as CPA takes it to him with heavy right hands. A hard headbutt then sends Bohemoth staggering backwards. CPA runs at Bohemoth with another hard right before wheeling him around, throwing him head-first into the table still stood ready. With Bo hurt, CPA takes a look over to Christian and sees he's in a bad way and not able to take advantage of the opening. So he grabs Bohemoth and looks to put him away more decisively as he sets him in a gutwrench. COLE This is ridiculous, Bohemoth had this match won and now, CPA on the attack! Setting, CPA shows SCARY strength as he muscles up the 280 plus pound Bohemoth for the Dominator. But, Bohemoth manages to escape from Allen's shoulder! Landing on his feet, Bohemoth spins CPA around and scoops him off his feet... ...THEN DRILLS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A SPINEBUSTER!! COLE BOOM! There goes CPA! COACH Damnit. COLE Nobody can stop the malcontented Monster! Bohemoth picks himself up, shaking off the effects of the surprise attack. Christian is still laid out on the palettes and with CPA now down, there's no-one to stop Bohemoth, as he limps his way up the ramp and exits the door, greeted by Mike Chioda to officially end the match! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Boiler Room Brawl... BOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd in the arena celebrate Bohemoth's victory as he stretches out a twinge in his back. Looking back into the boiler room he surveys the broken bodies laid amongst broken tables and broken palettes, before he heads off leaving them behind. COLE On a night where The Enterprise were looking to put away Bohemoth once and for all, they may just have succeeded in awakening the Monster! COACH I just hope there's somebody guarding Mackenzie right now. There's a pervert on the loose and two men down, somebody get some security back there and guard that woman's life! COLE I think you ought to be worrying about Theodore Moneymaker more than Mackenzie. And maybe Bohemoth might have a chance to get his on hands Mister Moneymaker on Halloween Night the day of our next spectacular event on TSM! BIRDS OF A FEATHER...R-LOCKED TOGETHER LIVE! HALLOWEEN NIGHT ON TSM The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat is shown pacing back and forth. The crowd cheers loudly. Heat is wearing his regular ring attire. He has a serious look on his face as he paces back and forth. COLE And there is Colombian Heat. One of the six men going to enter the Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell. Heat is competing in his second Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell, but this one, you have to believe, means more to him than the last one, after what the Deadly Alliance did to him two weeks ago! COACH Will he quit crying about that and move on!? Geeze! Sandman9000 has a thousand scars on his back and you don't hear him complaining! COLE I don't recall Heat ever crying or complaining about what happened to him two weeks ago. And Sandman9000 ENJOYS pain anyway, so he doesn't count. COACH He's a far tougher man than that punk Colombian Heat could ever be, and he will prove it tonight! And then Alfdogg will take his best friend's OAOAST World Heavyweight Title in the main event! COLE Both Badd Boyz will be in action here tonight! Colombian Heat in the Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell IV, and Tha Puerto Rican defending the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Alfdogg in our main event! Both matches are coming up later tonight! Edited September 30, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 We're taken to a quaint suburban home in middle america where a June Cleaver style mom is cooking breakfast while her young fresh faced son sits at the dinner table with a proud father beaming at him. DAD Son, you're eighteen years old now. And your mother and I are so proud of you. MOM Yes we are. So very proud of you. DAD You've grown up so much in front of our eyes, and today on election day, you can finally cast your vote for the president of the United States. MOM My little baby is growing up so fast! SON Thanks, mom, thanks, dad! I'm so excited about being able to vote! Its like I finally feel apart of this country, and that I can make a difference. Its just that my voice matters now! DAD Your voice has always mattered to us, son. Now go out there and show the world it matters to them! SON Will do sir! The son gets up and hugs his dad, and then his mother. They watch, gushing with pride, as he heads out the kitchen. He throws on his backpack for school, and with a wide smile heads to the front door, opening it BANG and is shot dead by Detective Bosley. Bosley turns to the camera and glares with a vile furor. DETECTIVE BOSLEY Don't vote. THE OAOAST HoldDOWN your vote campaign is brought to you by the Anarchists of America FUCK WHITEY'S VOTE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 (edited) Our focus is on Sofa Central where Baron Windells, wearing a cut-off sleeved flannel shirt, and straw cowboy hat has taken a seat at the comfy sofa. COLE Folks, we are seconds from our next big match at Zero Hour, Mister Dick against Miss Money In The Bank Krista Isadora Duncan. And we're joined by The Lonestar Gunslinger Baron Windells! Baron, thanks for coming out here. BARON Hey, no problem. Always happy to shoot the breeze with you boys. COLE Mister Dick seems to have this unhealthy obsession with you. You beat him at Anglemania, and yet he continues to taunt you in interviews as well as in matches. BARON Jock's a kid who don't take to losing all that well. Some guys say good match and you go out and have a beer with 'em. But if ya beat Jock he holds it against for life. And the guy and I already had heat so that don't help neither. I just wish we could say let the past be the past and let's get back together and win some tag team titles! How does it feel in my arms? How does it feel in my arms? Do you want it? Do you need it? Can you feel it? Tell me. How does it feel in my arms? The already fanciful entrance stage gets even more dreamy and colourful with the addition of numerous dancers dressed in the skimpy outfits of some of videogaming's leading ladies. There's Chun-Li of Street Fighter, Blood Rayne, Samus Aran of Metroid among many others. As many of them tote weapons they engage in a sensuous, seductive "battle", often coming together for vampish and sultry embraces. Of course the center of attention is one Krista Isadora Duncan. Toting a half a million dollar briefcase, Krista is attired as the queen of videogaming, Princess Peach. The Lara Croft dancer, glides her hands around the beautiful legs that rise from white high heels to a pink mini skirt, as the Chun-Li dancer massges a slender torso left entirely bare by a ruffled pink tube top. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of thirty minutes! Now approaching the ring, she is a New York Times best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into the Hollywood Walk of Fame, tar of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos in addition to being the star of the VH1 reality show The Look of Love and the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, here she is the OAOAST's Miss Money In The Bank… "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KRISTA ISADORAAAAAA DDUUUUUUUUUUUNNCAN!!!! Huge gargantuan cheers follow Buffer's announcement, as the two dancers escort the beloved celebrity down the entrance ramp. The ramp perfectly matches the fun appearances of the stage as flashing lights of "HIGH SCORES" scroll up it, and the usual calvary of photojournalist is replaced by people banging away on their PSPs. Once Krista reaches the edge of the ramp, she tilts her blond hair back to let her tiara sparkle with rainbow colored lights and smirks arrogantly into the camera. BARON Jock and I once challenged Krista and Alix, and it was something to experience. You get kind of overwhelmed with all the pageantry and pomp. You feel a little bit insignificant almost. It wears on you psychologically. Long graceful strides carry Krista's legs across the ring apron, as camera flashes capture the photogenic starlet. The entire arena soon becomes bathed in a brilliant white glow, as she undergoes her trademark leg revealing third rope hang, sending a good portion of the audience on an emergency bathroom COLE Coach, don't you dare try to start saying Mister Dick beat Krista. Yes, he beat a team with her on it, but did he pin her? Did he submit her? No he did not. COACH I'm just sayin we should honor Mister Dick, because he's on the road to accomplishing something great. Real talk right here, fighting Krista is like trynna stop Bo Jackson from Tecmo Pro Bowl. But imagine if, to stop Bo on the real, you had to successfully tackle him 25 times on one run. And if he stiff-armed you once your little dude would just fly off into the sidelines. And even if you tackled him, he'd get back up again. That's what its like to fight Krista. MELODY (from the head set) Inaccurate. She's more like Mike Tyson from Punch Out, which is a 100 times harder than Tecmo Bowl. If you tackled Bo Jackson, or beat your buddy when he played as the Raiders, then that's an impressive thing, yeah. But if you actually knocked out Mike Tyson? Hell, you were the king of your neighborhood. She's even impossible in No Homo, I thought I had her beat with Zack and some guys in black suits came in and took my 360 away. Also serious mark out moment over Krista's entrance! Oh, hey, Baron! BARON Hey, Mel, how ya doing, girl? My dick parts the seas Your dick farts and queefs My dick- rumble in the jungle Your dick got touched by your uncle My dick goes to yoga Your dick- fruit roll-up My dick- grade-A beef Your dick- Mayday geek A majestic pyrofall rains from the heavens, sparkling with a beauty all its own within the sugary flashing lights of the giant arcade set. Walking through this vibrant torrent of golden sparks is much despised Mister Dick. He gets a reception worthy of someone with that name, a gushing of boos and damnation of his very existence. The cowboy hatted heel revels in the hatred, flexing expertly built body, that's barely dressed, besides the few threads of fabric that make up his white short shorts and matching crotchless chaps. At side stands the fearsome Malaysia, her deadly whip ready and willing to lash out at any who dare get in her way. BARON I never thought I'd her the day when a guy like Jock Mulligan could get boo'ed. But he changed his name, his personality, and his look, and the fans changed with him. I thought we could put this aside by now, but I don't know who this man is. BUFFER And the opponent, being accompanied by Malaysia Nerdly! He hails from San Antonio, Texas, and is a former OAOAST One and Only world tag team champion! He stands six foot four and weighs two hundred thirty eight pounds, he is The Human Hard On....MISTER DICK! COACH Yo, Buff daddy, practice adding "the only person to ever beat Krista one on one! MD bout to be one of three people to ever pin Krista period. Ned, Mister Moneymaker and Marcellus Wallace have all done the impossible. COLE One of those names does not belong. As Mister Dick's white boots strut down the entrance ramp, Krista's heels are carrying her up it just as fast as they can. Even with the sound of the heels clicking off the steel and the gigantic scream of the Clevelanders Mister Dick somehow fails to notice her approach. This is to his misfortune as Miss Money In The Bank leaves him grounded and wounded with a dashing spinning wheel kick! COLE That's one way to start a match! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" chants the Quicken Loans Arena, as the beach bunny shreds at MD's dark skin with vicious stomps. Mister Dick begs for mercy, for a time out, for a ceiling fixture to fall and crush Krista. Anything to stop from being driven through the stage by her pumps. COACH Malaysia, home girl, get on ya grind and do something! Malaysia, who enjoys pain no matter who the victim is, finally snaps free of her lusting trance and springs into action. Unexpectedly, (or expectedly depending on how you think of Malaysia) the dominatrix keeps her deadly whip sheathed. With stunning docility, she slowly walks around Krista, eying her with a tender kindness. Krista trembles as she feels Malaysia's hand touch her bare stomach. Her hand feels warm and commanding and eyes are flaming with intensity as they penetrate Krista. Slowly, she drags her fingers down her back, her buttocks, and her legs from one side to the other and back again. With each stroke Krista archs away less and less and eventually begins groaning and arching toward Malaysia's carefully placed fingers. Her heavy breath comes loaded with desire, her lips are parted, and her head lulls to one side. By now every nerve in her skin is screaming for attention and her hips were rolling around subconsciously. COLE Oh my. Thinking Krista enamored with the touch of the muscle goddess, The Cocky Prick seeks to batter her with a running shoulder tackle. Unfortunately the giant sized image of him on the video screen gives him away, and Mister Dick barrels through Malaysia after Krista hops out the way! "OOOOOOOH!" BARON Ya play with fire and sometimes you're gonna get burned. I taught you that, Jock! Only slightly apologetic for his gross misdeed, a sneering Mister Dick turns to pepper KID with furious fists. But before he can even get one punch off, Miss Money In The Bank his lacing her perfect pins around his legs and bringing him to the ground courtesy of a drop toe hold! The audience cackles with a pure delight as they watch the arrogant stud smack his handsome face off the steel ramp. Mister Dick has little time to fret over his playgirl worthy looks, as his playboy worth enemy has returned to battering him with stomps! "I don't want to have all the fun here." She complains. "Someone here has to be mad about something, you live in the midwest for goodness sakes you're born bitter. Tell me and I'll talk it out on Jock. It'll be depressing for me to do, but I will survive." A fan in a Derek Anderson jersey speaks up, "My cousin smashed all my Three's Company hand painted figurines with a Croquet mallet." "This is for Jack Tripper! *STOMP* And this is for Janet! *STOMP* And this is for Chrissy! *STOMP* And this for Mister Furley! *STOMP* And this is for Mister Roper *STOMP*!" Red welts rise up on Mister Dick's baby oil slicked skin, a sight that brings wide smiles to the faces of the audience. Equally overjoyed is Krista who scoops Mister Dick up by his curly brown hair and guides him towards the ring to inflict further anguish. Once she reaches the black ring mats she slings him forward, causing the Cocky Prick to slide halfway across the ring upon entry. Such a long slide is to Krista's detriment, as it gives Mister Dick time to regain his health. Thus once she enters the ring, The Human Hard on assails her with a parade of furious stomps. He clutches onto the ropes, and growls ferociously as his boots try to make mincemeat out of her tanned skin. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" the fans sing, as Mister Dick pounds away at Krista as though he were beating on the devil himself. Finally referee Buzzlefoxer is forced to interject himself before he stomps the bombshell into nothingness. Not having much respect for the elderly, Mister Dick grabs onto his one eyed trouser snake and spits in the senior citizen's direction. "BOOOOOOO!" COACH What do you fools expect homie to do? Buzzlefoxer's horny ol ass almost cost Mister Dick a big match on HeldDOWN~! COLE Mister Dick has benefited many times from Clem's failures as a referee as I remember. BARON Jock's the type of guy born on third base and thought he hit a triple, I'm not too surprised by any lack of gratitude he shows. While Mister Dick and Buzzlefoxer have it out over his deplorable behavior, Krista exerts a large effort to reclaim her fleeting strength. She grabs onto the ropes for support, and takes long and labored breaths, not noticing that Dickzillia is now stalking her retreat. She does, however, become fully aware of his approach when he takes a menacing grip of her "LOVE" collar. As he tugs fiercely and cruelly on the rhinestone jewelry, she feels like he's making an attempt to choke her lifeless. This fear doesn't ease in the slightest as The Human Hard On drags her across the ring to the corner. When he reaches his destination, Mister Dick increases her pain by incredible amounts when he throws her face first into the turnbuckle posts. Watching her bite her lip and try to stifle her suffering fills the hunky Texan with glee and he celebrates by violently thrusting his crotch to the crowd. "NEEDLE DICK! NEEDLE DICK! NEEDLE DICK!" COLE Ah, memories of high school. Needless to say Mister Dick is none to pleased with the assault on his manhood and decides to take out his anger on his foe's face. Huge overhand rights rain down on her like meteor showers, hitting with thundering impact. The audience boos and jeers with every strike, but their furor only increase that of the temperamental brawler and he hits Krista with renewed vigor. She sags down to her knees unable to remain standing beneath the torrent of strikes. She at least his some time to breathe, as Mister Dick takes a moment to run his hands across his smooth well defined pecs to the delight of absolutely no one. Disgusted by the lack of crowd appreciation, MD again exercises his anger on Krista by hurling her to the opposite corner. She lands with a booming thud into the ring posts, and would've sunk to the mat in horrible pain had she not instinctively latched onto the ring ropes. COLE Krista's in fantastic shape, no doubt, but we all know her actual wrestling focused training is a bit lacking. So, you have to think that maybe wrestling three matches in the span of a few days has worn on her. We know she had a match at SWF Genesis only a short time ago. COACH Already out with the excuses. Mister Dick has got her number! Mister Dick remains stationed in his current position, scraping his feet along the ground like an enraged bull, and smacking his ass like....uh someone who really enjoys being spanked. Which he does. Once he finishes satisfying his kinky fetish, the handsome hardbody blazes a trail across the ring. As he nears Krista his long frame leaps into the sky, and forces her to bite his giant dick! KRISTA COACH The Human Hard On hitting that corner crossbody block and forcing Krista to taste his 12" hard on. Go on, boy. Show these lesbians we ain't gonna play they games no more. That's community pussy, that's pussy for the community. You can't be withholding it from half the population like that. My tax dollars paid for that pussy! Coach's microphone is thankfully cut and we return to our slightly less offensive programming. Unfortunately the scene in the ring isn't any classier, as Mister Dick places a kiss on his hands and then violently spanks his crotch. "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" Through with masturbatory celebrations, Mister Dick turns around to resume his thrashing of Miss California. Problem is the golden stater is well recovered, very angry, and closing in on him at a mile per second. Reacting quickly, The Human Hard On throws up his boot to snuff out her attack. But Krista catches hold of his shoe, and promptly whirls him around. Though facing away from her and somewhat dizzy, Mister Dick has enough ring awareness to trap her within an inverted 3/4th facelock. However, Krista snares him into a side headlock. Its the golden haired sex kitten that wins this battle as she leaps onto the top rope and spins around to strike him with a Stratusfaction! "UGGAAAASMOOGGGABOOOGAAAA!" my alternate interpretation of the audience going crazy. Next I will do it in German. COLE Mister Dick got dropped right on his head! BARON Heh. He oughta consider himself lucky he doesn't ever think with that head. If he ever thinks period. Sometimes I think he's the smartest guy on the earth, then other times I wonder how he survived out the cradle. Mister Dick rises off the canvas, his over flowing ego suddenly run dry. This loss of confidence forces him to resort to the oldest trick in the book, and he grabs onto his shoulder proclaiming a grvieous injury. Krista is, of course, non believing, and chastises the former Gunslinger, "I may be a pill popping, jet fuel sniffing, gin soaked narcissist but I am not an idiot." With that Mister Dick's shoulder is given quite the legit injury as she slams it across her shoulder in an arm stunner. Now his cries and curses are very real, but they're muffled when her arms coil around his head in preparation for The Blonds Never Pay a Cover (Side effect). But, Mister Dick refuses to be brought down by her famous hold and hoists her into the air for a back suplex. Despite the anguish rolling through his arm, MIster Dick keeps her aloft to taunt the audience with his impressive strength. This leads to Mister Dick's downfall as she simply twirls her body around and batters his noggin with another bulldog! The audience is absolutely ecstatic and offers Miss Money In The Bank a rollicking ovation. BARON There's a time for showmanship and there's a time for wrestling. I think Miss Duncan has figured out how to work showmanship to her advantage but sometimes Jock's still ironing the kinks out on that strategy. You gotta stick with what works, kid. I taught ya better than that. Mister Dick makes an awkward and unsteady rise off the canvas, hindered by his sore head. Due to his weariness, he's unable to stop the fitness queen from twisting her arms between his, knotting her right leg through his left, and tucking her head beneath his shoulder, and then... "Ah screw it! This is all complicated and convoluted. Its like the contract they made my mother sign when she decided to apprentice with Satan. Honey, if you don't mind I'm just gonna knee you in face. " Well, she would if she could actually find her way out of her unusual pretzel like entanglement. However, getting into it is far easier than getting out, and Mister Dick isn't in any rush to be free of a situation that presses against her billion dollar body. "Hey, Orville Redenbacher" Krista shouts at Clem, "Quit thinking about where you were when the first of god's plagues hit Egypt and help me out." Buzzlefoxer happily obliges Krista's request and attempts to peel her free of her odd predicament. The decorated military man actually starts out with noble intentions of assisting her. But while his memory and heart may be close to kicking out, his libido is better than ever, and he can't help himself but try to slide his hands towards her mouthwatering chest. COLE RIP Clem. MELODY (through the head set) [AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE]There's a heaven for a G.[/AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE] Gloriously irate over being molested by someone old enough to remember when the earth was flat, Krista finds the strength to rip away from MD. Then she levels her full rage on the pervy referee and launches him at Mister Dick! The Human Hard On uses his superior athleticism to leap frog the oncoming referee....and land crotch first onto Krista's knees! COACH No, No. Naw! That's like smashing Captain America's shield, or bombing out the Bat Cave, or confiscating Snoop's weed at the border. Mister Dick is thrown under a terrible spell of misery that reduces him to a shrieking mess. Krista seeks to reduce him to rubble by holding him inside of a front facelock for her Life In The Fab lane. But, Mister Dick avoids the twist of fate by placing a hand on her toned tummy and angrily pushing her away. Still handicapped by his searing pain, Mister Dick is able to nothing more than watch his enemy bounce off the ropes and ram her shoe through his skull with a superkick! "OOOOOOH!" Despite sounding as though Mister Dick just got shot, the attack fails to level him. Krista isn't overly bothered by this, though, and merely swings around her foot to slam into the back of his head! Joined by an onrush of cheers, Mister Dick's body timbers to the canvas with a loud thud. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Mister Dick rises inelegantly off the mat like a latter day Frankenstein monster. Fortunately for him the punches he aims at her head pack all the power of that mythical being and daze her enough for him to twirl around with his trademark discus punch. But as he faces away from Krista, the best selling author sucks him into a text inverted facelock. Immediately he tries to breakout her hold, but there's little he can do, and Krista lances a five million dollar leg across his neck, kicks the other five million forward and drives The Human Hard On head first into the ring to a huge pop! COLE For someone who flaunts an actual lack of knowledge for wrestling, Krista's done a brilliant job of targeting Mister Dick's head and neck with a lot of high impact moves. "Hey, Mister Dick, honey, do you mind calling a timeout for quick sec, I've got something that just can't wait." Krista reaches out of the ring and gets a microphone, "Hi, gang, I'm Krista Isadora Duncan. There's nothing funny about world hunger....well, I suppose there are a few hilarious things. When Maya was in 1st grade she drew a picture of the earth wearing a little duckie bib and holding a knife and fork and looking all sad because its plate was empty. And that's not ha-ha funny, I suppose, but its cute child funny and that works on a certain level." COACH What is she doing? COLE She told UNICEF she'd shoot a public service announcement for them, and if you're gonna do free stuff you might as well do it during something you don't like and don't care about anyway. "I don't hate many things. Besides Theodore Moneymaker, anti-semites, and guilt tripping holocaust survivors, I'm sorry but just because you didn't hide in shoe box like Anne Frank and got caught by Himmler and the boys doesn't mean I'm giving you my tickets to the Dodger's playoff games, grandpa! But, I hate world hunger...." As much as Krista may despise world hunger, Mister Dick hates being ignored even more. And so with a flaming intensity, he rushes at her with a Stiff Kick! But Krista gracefully leapfrogs his long and lanky body, and when she comes on her heels she offers the applauding crowd a cute little twirl. That simple spin further annoys The Human Hard On, and he swings for the fences with another discus punch. The Texan strikes out yet again, as Krista drops to the splits to offer a roaring crowd a peek her bethonged tush. She grinds herself against the mat, turning to Malaysia with her lips pressed into a seductive pout, as if to say "wish you here". This naturally mesmerizes the walking hormone, leaving him wide open to a kip up dropkick! The former tag champ hits the mat hard, but still makes it to his feet with amazing speed. That's of little consolation to him as Krissy's multi million dollar legs again batter his skull with a springboard double knee strike! KRISTA (respect to dudes who kno this, zack I'm talking to you, son.) Mister Dick lifts himself off the canvas, and Krista goes after him immediately letting her high heels savage his washboard abs. After she concludes tormenting his stomach, she blows him a kiss of death, then nearly removes half his teeth with a phenomenal back flip kick that connects perfectly with his jaw. Mister Dick is hurled into the ring posts, where the combined impact of that crash and the previous kick have howling in anguish. COLE Though I really hate to do something like this, I guess I ought to give Mister Dick his due respect. He's taken move after move to his head and keeps on coming. Yuck, I need a shower. Mister Dick stumbles out the corner, heading straight towards a foe waiting to pounce on him. Krista slides into her groggy foe, wrapping her legs around his body in a wheelbarrow position. She pushes up off the canvas, obviously seeking a bulldog. But, her hopes are dashed by awesome might of Mister Dick who shimmies her down into a full nelson position. The fans jump back with horror, all to knowledgeable of what's to come. The lone star beefcake fulfills their dreadful predictions by giving Krista a Pure Penetration (full nelson slam)! COACH That's first time in a long while Krista's been penetrated by something that ain't plastic and runnin on two double A batteries. "You like that Cleveland?" Jock casually leans over the ropes and asks the angry audience. "How'd that one look for you? You want me to try it again?" "PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK!" COACH Come on now, stay classy, Cleveland. Mister Dick smiles an overweening smile that could make literally skin crawl, as he hooks Krista's legs for pinfall... ONE! TWO! The Pure Penetration won't keep Krista down, and she lifts her shoulder off the canvas. "YEAAAAAAA!" Back on his feet Mister Dick puts the boots to Krista as she fights a near losing battle to get back to her's. He glares at her pitiless, and merciless, with the eyes of blood thirsty shark as he continues to assail her. On the outside, Malaysia's face twists into a wicked grin, showcasing the sensual satisfaction she gains from Krista's pain. "Could you crank on the waterworks? Malaysia get off big time when girls cry. Some kinda fetish, I ain't gonna judge it or nothin like that." he remarks as Miss Money In The Bank slowly crawls in escape to the corner. She reaches out to the ropes, hoping that they'll aid her in standing upright. But, still groggy from the full nelson slam, her hand falls well short of her target. She's left to grouse in frustration and titillate Malaysia with tortured cries as the Grade A beefcake hammers away at her with stomps. "LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!" "I wanna hear her squeal, Mister Dick! Make her squeal for me!" Malaysia demands. Her wish is Mister Dick's happily granted command, and Dickzilla drapes her throat first across the second rope. His large powerful hands dig into her bare golden brown skin, while he jerks her neck across the ropes almost as if it were a saw. The resulting squeals are precisely what Malaysia had been dying to hear, and she nearly falls to her knees from an orgasmic delight. Buzzlefoxer finally tries to step between Mister Dick and his victim before all the air is choked from her body. While that works in saving Krista from unconsciousness it earns old man Clem a threat that he'll being hopping home tonight on one leg because he's going to have his fake leg jammed up his ass. BARON That's a smart idea right there, Jock, threaten the guy that determines if ya win or lose. Sometimes I swear this boy makes as much sense as a squirrel with its head on backwards. Using her glimmering rhinestone collar as a leash, MD casually brings the starlet off the canvas. He puts a contemptuous grin on his face right before he jabs his thumb into left eye. Greatly injured by that unscrupulous play, Miss California goes staggering away, again needing the ring ropes to hold her up. Buzzlefoxer makes another lame effort to subdue MD's devious behavior. But, Mister Dick will hear none of it, and instead complains about her being able to try a public service announcement in the middle of his match. Once done with dressing down the WWII vet, Mister Dick returns attention to beating down Krista. He grabs onto her wrist in order to throw her to the ropes. However, the GLAADiator shifts her bodyweight and reverses the hold! Mister Dick hits the ropes, and comes back to leap frog the lowered head of his rival. When he returns from his second trip to the cables, Krista leaps up to tighten her arms across his neck. The Human Hard On instantly strives to push her off, but meets with no success and the covergirl drives his face into the canvas with a leaping reverse STO! "YEAAAAA!" Still needing to finish off her PSA, Krista regains her microphone, "Where did I leave off before I was so rudely interrupted by Rupaul's summer fashions. Yes, I remember. I hate world hunger. I'm not a violent, or cruel, or mean little lady. But, if I wasn't busy running a fitness empire, being on TV, doing spots in movies, I'd probably like to maybe murder world hunger. Like a serial killer of world hunger, but I guess serial killers kill lots of things and world hunger is only one thing. Hold on second..." Krista notices Mister Dick beginning to rise and bops him with her microphone. "What about a hate group? A world hunger hate group. Like the Nazi's, or the KKK, or Fox News. I'm just bouncing ideas off the wall and seeing what sticks, here, but what if we all, us members of the world hunger hate group, had banged crops like Joan Jett. Can you hold on a second?" Krista again bops Mister Dick over the head. Not because he posed any danger, just because she wanted to. "I guess I ought to wrap this up. If you're a gun carrying citizen, and being that you live in the midwest and are at a wrestling event I'd be shocked if you weren't, instead of shooting rabbits, or black people off your porch, how about shooting world hunger off the porch of the world. You wacky, racists you!" CRROWD There's no ovation to be had from Mister Dick, just a festering feral rage that launches him at Krista. But, Miss California still has her microphone and merely bops him for a third time. As Mister Dick hits the canvas screaming his pain, Krissy discards her microphone and rushes to the ropes. Her return, however, is hindered by Malaysia grabbing onto her foot. Annoyed, Krista turns a perturbed stare onto the meddling of the dominatrix. Malaysia does not have any concern for Krista's annoyance, only for the passionate hunger that the beautiful blond fills her with. Thus she satisfies her lusting by biting into Krista's ankle. Malaysia tremors with a delirious glee as her teeth feel the sweetened taste of Krista's soft skin. COLE Ye-ouch! COACH And ye-ah! Malaysia knows how to get down with the get down! Although it takes a painstaking effort, Krista succeeds in peeling herself away from her sexual aggressor. Leaving Malaysia to lick her lips and savor her pleasurable taste, Krissy makes a mad dash for The Human Hard On. But, Mister Dick used his partner's fetish to regain his strength, and as Krista approaches him, he grabs onto her flowing locks and hurls her over the ropes and out the ring! Krista lands in a crushing heap, a broken mess of leather and rhinestones that causes the front row audience to rise to their feet to check on the fallen megastar. COLE These Cleveland fans very concerned about Krista. COACH Can you imagine how her agent feels? "Hi, we'd like to book Krista on Regis and Kelly" Sorry, no dice, she's in traction. Mister Dick rolls out the ring with a new found confidence and swagger. This braggadocio motivates him to jaw jack with the audience who are none to happy with his treatment of Krista. As he continues to squabble with the sold out audience, his fists rain down on the top of Krista's head, magnifying the fans' venom. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Buzzlefoxer pleads with Mister Dick to return the match to the ring. His entreaties fall on deaf ears, and he and the audience watch in dismay as Krista falls into the steel steps courtesy of an irish whip. She scrambles away, heading towards the time keepers table to try and take a moment to recuperate. Mister Dick allows her no such thing, and takes a firm hold of the side of her head. She mounts only a weak struggle to get free of his grip, one that lasts only a few seconds before he chucks her into the ring posts! Blinded by a blurred vision, Krista goes scattering away before she finally falls exhausted onto the steel barricades. While the audience may be distressed at Krista's situation, both Malaysia and Mister Dick can revel in the peek up her short-short skirt her position allows them. BARON Jock's in his element where he can brawl. If he's going to pull off the upset, he's gonna make it happen here on the outside. Mister Dick lifts Krista into a gorilla press slam position. After incurring jeers and hatred from the audience, he simply dumps her stomach first across the guardrail. While she clutches the ribs that are being brutalized by white hot agony, Mister Dick spanks his ass towards a particularly vile segment of the front row audience. "PEA SIZED BALLS! PEA SIZED BALLS! PEA SIZED BALLS!" COLE What a guy Mister Dick. Spanking his ass to the very people that paid over a thousand dollars for their seats. Well done. MD latches onto her pinstripped miniskirt, and grants Malaysia one last look at the treasure that lies beneath it, before chucking her back inside the squared circle. Krista immediately gets to her feet, but can't do anything besides try and combat her pulsing headache. Its loud within her head, like she's trapped inside a giant swinging church bell. Mister Dick advances on her with a coy smile and then grabs her into a front facelock. He nonchalantly gazes out at the audience and waves them on, as if he were daring them to rush into the ring and wage war. As the fans are willing do nothing besides boo, Mister Dick shrugs his shoulders then hoists Krista into the air. He tilts sideways and then slams her into the canvas with a Jackhammer! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Krista lies on the floor, barely able to move, or answer Buzzlefoxer's inquiries into her health. At her side, Mister Dick knees with hands on hips and his usual cocky smirk on his face. Casually, he tosses an arm over her neck for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! Krista lifts a shoulder off the canvas, allowing the audience to sing a rapturous cheer. Mister Dick, however, bellows a tune of frustration aimed squarely at the senior official. BARON Too much hot dogging from Jock right there. If ya got someone like Krista in a bad way, you gotta take it to the finish line, don't stall out because you wanna gloat and toot your own horn. Taking advantage of Krista's still weakened state, Mister Dick blasts her with a cascade of rapid fire blows. The audience returns to singing their name, praying desperately she'll use their support to call herself upright. Their prayer's don't go unanswered, and the celebrity superstar slowly begins to find her footing. Alarmed by her unexpected resurgence, The Cocky Prick clamps down on her ash blond hair. But the feisty Californian summons all her energy to begin tagging Jock's muscle bound stomach with elbows. Mister Dick tightens his grasp on her hair, but Krista maximizes the fury behind her elbows and breaks away from her foe. With Jock stunned for the moment, the high heeled starlet takes off to the ropes. But as she skirts back, a recovered Mister Dick finally succeeds in hitting her with his discus punch! "That one was for you, Baron!" He calls out. Pain is written all across Krista's countenance as her comeback bid brought to a fiery end. Immensely enjoying this Mister Dick swaggers about the ring, before returning to Krista for a pin... ONE! TWO! Krista's shoulder comes off the mat. Yet there's little time for the audience to celebrate, as Mister Dick hastily hooks her into a rear chinlock. Now the audience must once again set themselves to the task of rallying behind Miss Money In The Bank. COACH Mister Dick stays making the haters mad! On his way to being the first dude to ever beat Krista uno on uno. Most of these niggas gotta go on a Batman Begins training mission just to not get sonned into outter space by Krista. Baron, I know you catchin feelings now! Krista's head is spinning wildly, and the blood pounds ferociously inside her ears. Its as if someone is trying to tunnel out of her skull with a sledgehammer. The ringing inside her mind is too much, the air Mister Dick chokes away too damning. Yet in spite of these obstacles, Krista exerts her every effort to win her freedom. She claws and tears at Mister Dick's arm, decorating it with red welts and ever so slightly weakening his hold. This change in his grip is enough to allow Krista to be able to slide upright. Though the hold is still applied, it can't prevent the GLAADiator from driving elbows into his midsection that hit worse than a gladiator's spear (and so fills my quota for gladiator puns). With worry lines sprouting across his face, Mister Dick tries in vain to keep hold of his fiery rival. But short of a vice grip, nothing is keeping hold of Krista and she breaks away to head to the ropes. She comes back to an angered Human Hard On, who lowers his head in expectations of a leap frog. But that's one trick that's been use too many times tonight, and Krista instead uses his lowered back as a launching pad to spring into the air. Quickly Mister Dick recovers to try and catch her with a powerbomb. However, Miss California's beach ready legs launch him head over heels with a hurricanrana! BARON I told Jock time again I don't like that move, because you're depending on your opponent to do one specific thing. With someone unpredictable like Krista its way too risky to take that chance. The audience is at its feet, spewing out frenzied cheers for Krissy's aerial stunts. The walk of famer, however, is grounded by a mortal exhaustion. The only saving grace to this is that Mister Dick is prostrate as well. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" BARON The atmosphere here is almost like a state championship football game back home. Its wild! Here's hoping ol Jockie boy don't blow this like he did all those pigskin games! Referee Buzllefoxer not only remembers where he is after a brief Alzheimer's moment, but also remembers that he's supposed to count! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" BARON Sayin you're the first guy to ever draw Krista one on one and ain't got the same ring as sayin' you're the first guy to ever beat her. Jock better hurry on up and make hay while the sun still shining! "FOUR!" "LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!" the fans sing at the sight of Mister Dick beginning to get to his knees. Their chanting grows louder and earns a positive result, as Krista starts to pick herself off the canvas. COLE Both wrestlers beginning to stir now. COACH Fool! Don't be callin' Krista no wrestler! I don't want your blood splattering on me when she guts you like a fish. COLE One wrestler and one celebrity beginning to stir. I didn't mean anything by that wrestler remark Krista, please don't maim me. I have children! Some of which aren't to embarrassed to acknowledge my existence. Both "insert title of their choice here" reach a vertical base at the exact same moment. Desperate to strike first, Mister Dick swings his muscular arm out in a lariat. However, Krista stages a fantastic counter, blocking his attacking arm with a roundhouse kick! Not only does it nearly rip his limb from his socket, but it sends him on a 180 twirl. Before he can even entertain the thought of turning around to face Krista, the sex kitten again afflicts his neck with a leaping inverted neckbreaker! The audience, on their feet, scream with cheers while Mister Dick screams with shrill agony. COLE Did you see that height on that neckbreaker? Mister Dick promptly digs his weary bones off the mat. He looks to Malaysia for help, but only receives a warning to "look out!". This warning comes far to late, as Miss Money In The Bank is already ramming his head into the ring posts. The Clevelanders rave in bliss as they watch Krista pummel the bigheaded (in more ways than one!) superstar. Mister Dick is clearly out on his feet, and unable to defend himself he can not stop Krista from climbing atop the third rope. "W-E T-H-E B-E-S-T! she shouts towards the fans. "WE THE BEST!" they reply. "W-E T-H-E B-E-S-T! "WE THE BEST! "W-E T-H-E B-E-S-T! "WE THE BEST! Perhaps Mister Dick might be able to enjoy the call and response or the look up Krista's skirt, if it weren't for the appearance of Alix dressed like a sexy Flava Flav (if there is such a thing) on the stage with microphone in hand. ALIX I wake up to get my cake up I'm out to grind *PUNCH BY KRISTA* What can I say I'm a product of my environment *PUNCH* Uh oh, I'm in the game watch me do me. Kickin these niggas, man, call this bruce lee *PUNCH* Summer winter spring I can't forget the fall *PUNCH* I still remain a dog A diabetic and all *PUNCH* All I want is my paper I don't care what they say*PUNCH* They stick their tongue out when they bow they head, cause.... "WE THE BEST!" the audience shouts and then watches with elation as Krista finishes Mister Dick off with a flashy dropkick straight to his face! Alix quickly retreats to the back, realizing she should've killed the mink first before wearing it as a coat. BARON Now is that what ya'll people call rap music? COLE What do you mean you people? COACH What do you mean you people? LOL TROPIC THUNDER! Mister Dick doesn't go down, instead staggering forward, aimless, dazed and with no inclinations on defending himself. This presents the perfect opportunity for Krista to clamor back to the top rope. Rather than take advantage of her rival's wounded state, Krista tries to invoke a cute brunette in the front row to take off her pants, "Merely as a preventative measure against rashes, I assure you!" she comments. Unfortunately, Krista's moment to attempt to dyke out the audience member comes with a heavy burden. No the girl is not really a man, its that Mister Dick recovers to lift Krista off the ropes in preparation for a gorilla press slam. Needless to say, his meddling greatly displeases Krista, and with considerable haste she scurries away out of his clutches. The very moment she touches down on the mat is the very moment her white footwear tears through his testicles with a booming field goal kick! "YOU GOT CASTRATED! YOU GOT CASTRATED! YOU GOT CASTRATED!" COLE That's the second time that happened! I thought he always wore a steel cup? What happened to it? BARON COLE You sly devil! As Mister Dick is hobbled by horrible pain that flares around his favorite muscle, Krista takes a tube of red lipstick out her top. She scribbles down a little saying in her neat cursive handwriting, whistling while she works. After dotting her i's and crossing her t's she shows us her masterpiece like Vanna White showing a letter on wheel of fortune. "PROPERTY OF KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN. IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO THE NEAREST DUMPSTER. THANK YOU." From humiliation comes pain with the WSDDDT! "YEAAAAAA!" COLE The Write shit down DDT! I have a feeling someone may be writing Mister Dick's name on the injured list with a concussion after all these blows he's taken to the head. COACH Mister Dick has taken plenty of blows to head in his life, dawg. Heh. Not that I've given any of them! I just like watching. Malaysia can see Mister Dick's potential for victory shrinking into nothingness by the second, while the possibility for a loss increases just as fast. Thus she climbs onto the ring apron to do her part to end the bloodletting Krista has caused. Whereas most men, much less women, in the OAOAST wisely give Krista a wide berth, Malaysia angrily dares the Los Angeles native on. COLE Krista knows something about Malaysia, from Jade's trials with her! Never known to back down from a fight, Krista cuts the distance between she and Malaysia with only a few strides. Malaysia rears back to hammer Krista with a her muscled forearm. But her arms fall in abrupt halt, and her face fills with shock, as Krista's hands go directly to her private area with a blue "ball" special. Malaysia's face sparks with with electricity, her knees grew week from the incredible pleasure Krista's treat gives her. But, Krista is more tease than please, and yanks her hands away just as quickly as she offered them. "YEAAAAAA!" holler the fans, who grow even more aroused by the image of Krista licking Malaysia's taste of her hands. COACH Mister Dick isn't terribly concerned over Malaysia's muddle. In fact he's rather glad for it, as it provides him with a chance to charge at the spicy pinup. Even with her back to him, Krista sees this tactic from a mile away, and as Mister Dick closes in on her she slides out the way. The Cocky Prick is left to crash into Malaysia, sending her rocketing off the apron. She hits the canvas on her knees, bellowing in vexatious rage. The audience derives much delight from Mister Dick's screw up, angering he and Malaysia even more. BARON Things are starting to fall apart for Jock. And if I know the kid like I think I do, his temper's gonna get the best of him real soon. Real soon being right now; with his rage clouding his thinking he cruelly shoves Buzzlefoxer towards his frustrating foe. Though Clem could've easily avoided her, its not every day a man his gets to feel up a hot blond twice, and so he takes the pain of the head on collision. COLE Mister Dick just shoved the referee! BARON What I'd tell ya? Though not hurt by Clem's sudden arrival, Krista is left terribly off balance. This makes her an easy victim for Mister Dick who boots her in the gut. Doubled over in agony, she can't prevent The Human Hard On from ensnaring her into a front facelock. He spits in the direction of the booing fans, and then lifts Krista up to spike her head into the canvas with a leaping DDT! The audience recoils with acute fear, worried that devastating hold may spell doom for Krista. COACH Brigham Young Cocktail! That's your move, Windells. He's pullin ya card, doggy! He's runnin game on you, son! He got you bitch made, bustah brown! Sharing Coach's sentiments, Mister Dicks looks towards Baron and flashes a cruel, and scathing snarl with his eyes narrowed into evil slits. He then hooks Krista's legs for an utterly pointless pinfall. BARON That was impressive, buddy. But, too bad ya just took out the damn referee! That is a bit of a problem, isn't it? Thus a highly agitated Mister Dick tries to rouse Buzzlefoxer with a few swipes of his boot. However, the referee remains grounded and Mister Dick remains fuming. As such he turns around to call for another official and walks right into a KIDology! The audience goes nuclear, cheering at the top of their lungs as they watch a KO'ed Mister Dick flop over onto the canvas. BARON Jock Mulligan, buddy, ya just got inducted into the church of KIDology. Hot damn! Krista hooks Mister Dick's legs, right as referee Charles Robinson enters the ring. COLE And here's the referee! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! The audience launches mammoth cheers into air, celebrating as though the Cavaliers just on the NBA championship, probably because the Cavaliers will never win the NBA championship and thus they need something to celebrate. In My Arms adds to the festive atmosphere as Buffer rises to make his announcement. BUFFER Your winner, and still undefeated in one on one competition....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! Krista celebrates with a sip from a martini and a toast to her roaring fanbase. Mister Dick is certainly in no mood for celebration, and loudly berates just about everyone associated with this contest. COLE Jade beats Malaysia and now Krista beats Mister Dick! The Cocky Prick, on the basis of pinning Moracca thought he could be the win to finally beat Krista. Now he's just another notch in her belt. BARON Michael, its a good thing to have confidence, if he didn't he wouldn't have had the guts to go after Krista in the first place. But it isn't always good to have a temper. Jock gets riled up to damn easily, and it hurt him tonight. Big time. All he can do is learn a lesson and hope to comeback better the next time. COLE Great insights, Baron. Thanks for joining us, and we hope to see you in action on HeldDOWN~! BARON My pleasure, guys. COLE Folks, coming up next its The Heartland Chamber of Hell! OAOAST AngleMania VIII Indianapolis, IN TICKETS ON SALE THIS SATURDAY. MEET ALFDOGG, THUNDERKID, JAMIE O'HARA AND JERME GREY AT THE STADIUM BOX OFFICE! Edited September 30, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 (edited) The crowd goes CRAZY~! COLE And it's that time of year again, Coach! Six men walk in to the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell, one will walk out with Sandman's Heartland title, but they will all walk out with their careers having been changed! Let's go to the video package! A new music video starts up, done to the tune of Lay it on the Line by Triumph. COLE (voiceover) Six men enter, six careers will be changed forever, but one will walk out with the OAOAST Heartland title! As the opening guitar strums play, several camera angles of the Chamber are shown, followed by the faces of Bosley, Brock, Faqu, Strutter, Heat, and Sandman. The video then cuts to archive footage. It's the same old story, all over again... Alf, Brock, Thunderkid and Reject are all shown sizing up the Chamber. You turn a lover, into just another friend... Clips of Alf executing a belly-to-belly on Colombian Heat, and Reject hitting the Eulogy on TK. I want to love you, I want to make you mine... Clips of Alf, Stevens, TK, Brock, Felix and Sandman holding the HL title belt. ...won't you, Lay it on the Line? Clips of TK and Reject delivering a double drop toe hold, sending Brock face-first into a barbed-wire board, then Brock delivering an F-Stunner-5 to Gunner Sharps on said board. The drums kick in harder, as various weapon shots are shown. I'm tired of playing, all your foolish games... Clip of Alf pointing the finger at Reject as his cell lowers. I'm tired of all your lies, makin' me insane... Clip of Mike Guerriero hitting the Final Judgment on Alf, then grieving over Alf's foot on the rope. I don't ask for much, the truth will do just fine... JINGUS delivering a Clawslam to Cuban Wall through a table, and TK hitting a Swanton Bomb on Guerriero while wearing a chest protector covered in thumbtacks. ...won't you, Lay it on the LINE! As the drumroll takes us into the chorus, a clip is shown of Alf hitting the Five-Star Alf splash from one of the raised cells some 16 feet in the air onto JINGUS. Lay it on the Line! Colombian Heat with the Colombian Necktie to Reject on the barbed-wire board. Lay it on the Line... Alf falling through a stack of tables outside the ring, after hanging on the side of the Chamber. Lay it on the LINE... Brock dropping Reject crotch-first onto a cactus. ...don't waste my time! Shot of Alf posing on the buckles, then Brock doing his dance, then TK posing, then Sandman ripping off his bandages. You got no right...to make me wait... Alf applying the Sharpshooter to Brock, then the Five-Star Alf Splash to TK. We better talk girl, before it gets too late... Brock delivering an F-Stunner-5 to Reject, then a belly-to-belly on Alf. I never ever thought you, could be so unkind... TK with a bicycle kick on Alf, then a tope con hilo to Mike Guerriero. ...won't you, Lay it on the LINE! Drum beat into the chorus, as Sandman executes a Van Terminator off of a ladder through a barbed-wire board with Strutter behind it. Lay it on the LINE! Brock gives Alf a shot with a barbed wire chair. Lay it on the line... Cuban Wall hits Reject with a jousting stick wrapped in barbed wire. Lay it on the LINE... Gunner Sharps rams Brock Ausstin into the steel steps as Brock is trapped in a shopping cart. ...don't waste my time! All participants shown with bloody, pained looks on their faces. The guitar solo features several weapon shots and finishers. You know I love you, (you know I love you!) you know it's true... Heat hits a Pele Kick on Alf, and Strutter hits the Thunder Bay Throttle on Sandman. It's up to you, girl, now what've I got to do... Mike Guerriero rakes TK's head across the Chamber wall, and Brock does the same to Gunner. Don't hold me up, girl, don't waste my precious time... TK hits the Thunderbolt DDT on Alf, then Brock with a press slam on TK. ...won't you, Lay it on the LINE! Alf is wearing a Power Glove, and applies a clawhold onto Guerriero. Lay it on the LINE! TK and Reject deliver the Thunderous Rejection to JINGUS. Lay it on the Line (Lay it on the Line, girl!)... Alf throws flaming dodgeballs at various participants. Lay it on the LINE! Sandman delivers the Psycho Drivah to Strutter. Lay it on the Line (Lay it on the Li-ine!)... Reject delivers the Pitch Black onto a barbed-wire chair. Lay it on the LINE... Several shots of combatants are shown, the last being a shot of Alf holding the belt following a Chamber match. ...don't waste my time! Sandman is shown celebrating a victory with the belt as the video fades out. The camera cuts to the back, where Sandman9000 emerges from the locker room and heads to the ring. COLE Yes, lay it on the line, that's what Sandman9000 is about to do, and that's what five other combatants are about to do, in the Chamber of Hell, all for the sake of that belt around Sandman's waist, the OAOAST Heartland title! Cut back to the arena, as the Chamber lowers, with strobes flashing around it like crazy. COACH Here it comes, Cole! COLE The chamber is lowering, and it is lowering around Michael Buffer, who is waiting in the ring, let's go up there! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...this match, is one of our main attractions of Zero Hour 2008! Tonight, six of the roughest, toughest men in the world, will battle it out in this Chamber, standing 24 feet off the ground, and engulfed in barbed wire. Four men will start out in these 8 x 5 cells, which will then be raised to the ceiling of the chamber, while two men start in the ring. Each cell contains a bag with a mystery weapon, which will be brought into the match. Every five minutes, a cell will lower at random, and another man will enter the frey, until one man is left standing, and that man will be the OAOAST Heartland champion! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Cleveland, Ohio...ARRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYYYOUUUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Cleveland, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! The crowd continues to cheer, as In the Air Tonight by Nonpoint plays, and the crowd begins to boo as Detective Tango Bosley walks through the curtains, dragging a trashcan full of goodies with him, then lighting a cigarette as he stops in the entryway. COLE And the Enterprise represented in the Chamber this year, as Tango Bosley makes his way out! BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time...he hails from Miami, Florida, and weighs in at 265 pounds! Representing the Enterprise...DETECTIVE TANNNNNNNGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY YYYYY!!!!! Bosley stops at the door, then tosses his smoke down and stomps it out, before entering the Chamber, and making his way to his cell along with his trashcan. He reaches into his bag, and pulls out a motorcycle helmet covered in thumbtacks! COACH Whoa-ho! COLE I don't think anyone will be attempting any head-to-head collisions with Detective Bosley in this match! Bosley looks at the helmet, and grins, as his cell rises. As it reaches the ceiling, a cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." Brock's music hits, and he appears in the entryway, doing his HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! BUFFER From Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 290 pounds..."THE CURRENT BIG THING" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE Two-time Heartland champion, and the man with the most experience in this match, he's been in two of the three previous Chamber matches! Brock walks down the aisle, then enters the door and hops onto the apron, yanking back on the ropes and causing pyro to explode from all four corners. COACH WHOA! And another point of significance, this is the first Chamber match which will not feature Alfdogg or Thunderkid, the only two men to appear in all of the first three Chambers! COLE And Alf, of course, winning the first two, Sandman winning it last year, looking to duplicate Alf's feat, and in even more impressive fashion, as he has not relinquished the title since winning it in last year's Chamber! COACH Let's see what Brock's got here... Brock pulls from his bag a croquet set. COACH What in the world...? COLE Well, like we said, Brock the veteran of this match, I'm sure he'll find a use for it! Brock's cell starts to raise, as King Kong by LA Symphony hits, and Faqu makes his way through the curtains. COACH I just noticed too, there's a sledgehammer on the end of that croquet mallet! BUFFER From the Aisle of Samoa, weighing in at 301 pounds...he is one-third of the OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions..."THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"...FFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU U UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! COACH Fuck you too, Buffer! COLE ...he said FAQU, who is representing Cucaracha International in this match! Faqu pounds on his chest, as he looks up at the Chamber, then enters and makes his way to his cell, opening his bag to find it full of California Raisins figures. COACH :wtf: COLE Well, you never know what you'll find in one of those bags, it looks like Faqu got himself a dud! COACH Fuck that, son! Them figures are worth some good money, and the OAOAST just gives them away for this match??? Faqu screams at the back as his cell raises. COACH Don't harm the figures, Faqu! I got some big money I'll be willing to pay you for those after the match! The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. COLE And here comes the Heat! "COME ON!" *BOOM~!* The crowd explodes, as does the pyro, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing as Colombian Heat rushes out onto the stage, getting the crowd fired up. Heat jogs slowly to both sides of the entrance stage and fires that section of the arena up. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. BUFFER From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 180 pounds...COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOMBIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AT!!!!! COLE And the last time we saw Colombian Heat, he was losing the United States championship to Alfdogg, passing out in Alf's Sharpshooter! His back severely scarred, and even after the rest he was given by OAOAST President Josie Baker for this match, he still does not look to be moving at 100%! COACH Heat has got no chance in this match, Cole! None! Heat looks up at the Chamber, then turns around and throws up the "W" sign with his hands, before entering and making his way to his cell. He opens his bag, pulling out an iron and an ironing board. He looks confused, then digs in deeper to find a blowtorch! COLE And Heat getting a nice bag! Heat's cell raises to the ceiling. COLE And now we know who will be starting this match, and it will be the two men who finished this match last year! BUFFER And now, introducing the two men who will start off this match. Tom Sawyer by Rush hits, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter, riding a moose which is pulling a stable behind him, makes his way out, getting a nice ovation from the crowd. COACH What in the world is this? Is that a moose? COLE Sure is! Strutter dismounts the moose, then heads to the back of the stable, opening the door...and pulling out the CACTUS~! COACH Oh, no! COLE I knew something was missing from this match! BUFFER From Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R!!!!! COLE Another two-time Heartland champion, and as long as it's been, he was the last man to hold the Heartland title before Sandman won it one year ago today! Strutter shoves the cactus into the ring, and props it up in a corner, as the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER And, from South of Heaven, weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! Sandman pulls behind him a garbage bin full of assorted weapons, and parks them next to the ring apron, then climbs into the ring, and removes his bandages. COLE And we are about ready to go here! Sandman and Strutter get settled in opposing corners, and the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go! Sandman and Strutter meet in the middle of the ring, then begin to exchange fists, with Sandman getting the better of the exchange. COACH And a mistake right away by Strutter, he's not gonna win a slugfest with Sandman! Sandman sets up an Irish whip, but Strutter reverses, the drops down. He leapfrogs Sandman, then reverse leapfrogs him, then meets him with a drop toehold! Strutter then hops up, and drops an elbow to the back of his head! COLE But very quick, perhaps the quickest man in this match, is "After Hours" Felix Strutter! Strutter grabs Sandman, and rams his head into the buckles, then whips him across, but Sandman gets a foot up! COLE But Sandman showing some quickness of his own there, getting the foot up! Sandman follows up with a running sleeperhold drop, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman picks up Strutter, and executes a snap suplex, then goes to the outside and goes through his garbage bin. COLE And Sandman already going for some weapons! Sandman pulls out a kendo stick, and tosses it into the ring. He then slides a STOP sign in, before rolling inside with a trash can, and dumping the contents out. He makes his way towards Strutter, but Strutter catches him with another drop toehold, sending him face-first into his own trashcan! COACH Oh no! COLE Sandman sent right into his own weapon with a drop toehold! Strutter then makes his way over to the kendo stick, and holds it up in the air, as the crowd cheers him on. He then brings it down across the back of Sandman! COLE And Felix with the kendo stick to the back! He lets Sandman pull himself to his feet, then brings it across his upper back and shoulders! He then backs him into a corner, still holding the stick, and whips him across, then catches him coming out with the stick to the gut! He then hooks him in a standing headscissors... COLE Could be the Thunder Bay Throttle! However, as he starts to hook the arms, Sandman trips him up, and slingshots him into the corner! He then grabs the stick, and drills Felix right on top of the head! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE Kendo stick right to the head of Felix Strutter! Sandman stops to catch his breath, then tosses Strutter to the outside. He picks up Strutter, and attempts to ram in face-first into the side of the Chamber, but Strutter blocks. COLE And now both men trying to force the other's face into the barbed-wire covered Chamber wall! After a struggle, Sandman goes to the eyes of Strutter, then starts raking his face across the wall! COLE And it's Felix, the first one to taste the barbed wire in this match! Felix sinks to the floor, examining the blood from the cut caused by the barbed wire, then Sandman picks him up and whips him into the steel steps! COLE And the already bloodied Felix Strutter tasting the steel steps! Sandman rolls Strutter back inside, then climbs the steps and follows him in. He lays the STOP sign across Strutter's body, then climbs to the top, and hits him with a senton bomb! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman rolls to the outside, and pulls a ladder out from underneath the ring! COACH Here we go! COLE Sandman gonna climb the ladder here! Sandman pushes the ladder into the ring, then drags the cactus over to where Strutter is laying. He picks Strutter up, then lays the cactus down, and lays Strutter on top of it. He goes to the other side of the ladder, then begins to climb it. COLE Sandman going for something big here... COACH And this could be then end of Felix early if he hits this! Sandman goes for a SWANTON BOMB from the ladder...but Felix moves, and Sandman hits ALL CACTUS~! COACH Oh NO! COLE And Sandman finds nothing but cactus! Sandman rolls forward to his knees on impact, then falls to his stomach, as the crowd groans. Felix pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, then picks Sandman up, and executes a teardrop suplex onto the cactus! COLE And once again onto the cactus! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman crawls across the ring, and grabs a cookie sheet, as Strutter follows and grabs him by his leg. As Strutter attempts to pick up Sandman, Sandman whacks him on the head with the cookie sheet! COLE Cookie sheet to the face of Felix Strutter! Sandman then tosses Strutter into the corner, and executes BOOT SCRAPES, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Strutter ducks a clothesline, and they clothesline each other! COLE Double clothesline! COACH Just in time for another entry, Cole! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! The lights flash around the cells again, stopping on...BROCK AUSSTIN! COLE And here comes Brock! Brock's cell lowers, as Sandman looks on. Brock grabs the bag, then exits the cell and climbs into the ring, tossing the bag into Sandman's midsection as he approaches. Brock then hooks Sandman, and takes him over with an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And a BIG suplex from Brock Ausstin! Brock then picks up Bosley, and hits another OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Bosley winds up in a sitting position in the corner, and Brock goes through his bag. COACH OK, let's see what Brock's gonna do here... Brock takes out a ball, and drops it on the mat, then lines up the mallet, as the crowd groans, and sends a shot RIGHT INTO THE GROIN OF BOSLEY~! COLE/COACH The crowd continues to groan, as Brock picks up Bosley, and tosses him to the outside. Meanwhile, in the ring, Strutter sizes up Sandman, hits a kick to the gut...and drives him with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!!!11111 COLE The Thunder Bay Throttle! Sandman could be done right here! 1... 2... NO! Sandman gets the shoulder up! COACH No, it's not! COLE Sandman kicking out of Strutter's Thunder Bay Throttle! Strutter gets to his feet, and puts his hands on his hips for a second, then picks up Sandman, and sets him up onto the four tables that Bosley had set up earlier, then goes to the outside. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Brock scoops up Bosley, and looks to ram him into the ringpost, but Bosley slips down, and shoves Brock into it instead! COLE And on the other side of the ring, Brock sent right into the steel ringpost by Bosley! Bosley then pulls the barbed wire bat out of the ring, and delivers a shot right to the forehead of Brock! COLE And now Brock tasting the barbed wire! COACH Looks like 4-for-4 on the blood count! Bosley begins to rake the bat across Brock's face, as Strutter sets up the king-sized ladder in the ring. COLE Well, it definitely is now... COACH Look up in the ring, Cole! COLE Oh my God... Strutter climbs the big ladder, looking down on Sandman, still on the tables. However, as he gets towards the top, Bosley slides back in, and shoves the ladder over as Sandman rolls out of the way, sending Strutter all the way into the Chamber wall, then BACKWARDS THROUGH THE STACK OF TABLES~!!! COLE And Strutter through all four tables! COACH Like a bank shot, Cole! Off the ladder, off the Chamber wall, nothing but tables! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! COLE Look at the carnage! And we've still got two more to enter! Bosley lays around for a few seconds, then rolls back outside to go after Brock, who blocks an attempt to ram him into the Chamber wall, and begins to rake Bosley's face across! COLE And Bosley once again tasting that barbed wire! Brock then begins to slug away on Bosley, until Sandman scales the top rope, and lands on both men with a somersault! COLE Sandman still not finished out there! Sandman slowly gets to his feet, then goes around the side of the ring, and pulls out a BARBED WIRE BOARD~! COACH Ooooh, baby. COLE And these guys are not done topping themselves! Sandman slides the board into the ring, then positions it in mid-ring. He then goes outside and grabs Brock, tossing him inside. COLE And Sandman obviously with intentions to put Brock into that board! Sandman sizes up Brock, then delivers a kick to the gut, setting up the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And here it comes! Can he get the big man up? However, Brock blocks, and executes a backdrop... COLE But no! but Sandman manages to land on his feet! COACH Sandman to his feet, though! He then catches a charging Brock, and forces him down ONTO THE BOARD with an STO~! COLE And Sandman with an STO onto that barbed-wire board! Sandman keeps his arm on top... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But Brock Ausstin able to kick out! Sandman rolls to his back, as the count starts up. COACH Who's next? COLE Will it be the worse-for-wear Colombian Heat, or will it be the Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu? 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~! The lights move back and forth between Heat and Faqu's cell, and stops on...FAQU! COLE And the Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu, will enter, that means Colombian Heat will enter the Chamber last! COACH Well, that's lucky for him, but in his condition, I don't know how much good it'll do, if any! Faqu's cell lowers, and he rolls into the ring, going right after Strutter, who has just pulled himself in after going through the tables. He sizes up Strutter, and floors him with a THRUST KICK~! COLE And a big kick from the FRESH Samoan Wrecking Ball! Faqu then backs into the ropes, and jumps into the air for a BIG SPLASH~! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And "After Hours" Felix Strutter is eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ 1st elimination: "After Hours" Felix Strutter eliminated by: Faqu (pinfall) remaining: Sandman9000, Detective Tango Bosley, Brock Ausstin, Faqu, Colombian Heat (still to enter) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ Faqu then starts delivering chops to Sandman. COACH Well, Felix was the last man eliminated last year, and the first eliminated this year! COLE It was Bosley that did the damage, then Faqu came in and cleaned up the scraps! Faqu then traps one arm of Sandman, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY onto the cactus! COLE And Sandman once again sent into the cactus, by a big belly-to-belly suplex! Faqu pounds on his chest, as a bloodied Brock stands behind him, fist clenched, as the fans cheer. COLE Look at this! Faqu turns around, and is met with a right hand! And another! Faqu fights back, and it turns into a slugfest! Faqu, the fresher man, prevails, then delivers a big headbutt, then scoops Brock up, and executes a Samoan drop! COACH What about that, Cole? COLE There may be no stopping Faqu in this match! You may be looking at the new OAOAST Heartland champion right there! Faqu is proud of himself in the ring, as Bosley pulls himself onto the apron, wearing the chest protector. Faqu snapmares him in over the top rope, then traps him in the corner, delivering headbutts. He attempts an Irish whip across, but Bosley blocks, then pulls him back into the corner, and splashes him with the chest protector! COLE But Bosley, with that chest protector, able to do a little damage! Bosley comes at Faqu with martial arts strikes, then knocks him to the mat with a BIG roundhouse kick! COLE And finally Bosley able to take the Samoan Wrecking Ball down! However, Sandman sneaks up behind Bosley with a low blow! Bosley staggers around, right into Brock, who pulls the chest protector off and scoops him up on his shoulders... COLE Could be time for the F-Stunner-5~! ...positions him next to the cactus... COACH Oh no, not that! ...and delivers the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE Right down onto the cactus goes Bosley! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And out goes Bosley! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Detective Tango Bosley eliminated by: Brock Ausstin (pinfall) remaining: Sandman9000, Brock Ausstin, Faqu, Colombian Heat (still to enter) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So we're down to three in the ring, and one still to come! Brock then waits on Sandman to get up, and scoops him onto his shoulders delivering another F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE And Brock hit it again! This may be it for Sandman! 1... 2... NO!!! Sandman gets the shoulder up! COLE But no, Sandman able to kick out, I can't believe it! COACH I'm telling you Cole, this guy's great! Brock questions the referee's count, then turns around right into a thrust kick from Faqu, which sends him tumbling through the ropes and to the floor! Faqu follows, and sets up DEATH BY SAMOAN~!!!!!11111 COLE Oh no, not this move on the floor, come on! However, Brock is able to get his arms free, then trips up Faqu, and slingshots him into the Chamber wall! COLE And now Faqu tasting the barbed wire for the first time! Brock immediately follows Faqu in and rakes his face across the barbed wire, then picks up the barbed wire chair, and SLAMS it over his head! COLE And what a VILE chairshot from Brock Ausstin! Brock raises the chair to the crowd, which cheers in response. COLE And you see the result, Faqu joins the other participants having been busted open! Brock picks up Faqu, and tosses him back inside, then hooks him, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY onto the BARBED WIRE BOARD~! COLE And now Faqu's back getting it! Brock lets out a big yell, then turns around right into a lighttube shot from Sandman! COLE And here come the lighttubes! Sandman holds up a lighttube, then tosses it to Faqu, who is on his knees, then executes a YAKUZA KICK~!, sending it right back into his face! COLE Faqu with the lighttube kicked right back into his face! Sandman drops down and covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COACH Boy, I'll tell you, three REALLY tough guys in that ring right now! COLE And one more to come here in about a minute! As Brock works his way to his feet, Sandman grabs a ladder, and sets it on the top rope, then climbs up and grabs it, executing a LADDER-ASSISTED MOONSAULT onto Faqu! COLE Moonsault with the ladder! However, when he turns around, Brock slams a chair into the ladder, sending Sandman down to the mat! COLE Man, this just goes back and forth! Sandman rolls to the outside, and Brock slowly follows, hammering on his back. Faqu rolls out shortly after, and hammers on Brock, as Brock is double-teamed. Brock attempts to fight back, as the countdown begins. COLE Well, we're about to find out just how much Colombian Heat has for this match! His cell is about to lower! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Edited September 29, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 The crowd noise escalates as Colombian Heat's cell lowers, and he drags his bag out of the cell, and pushes it into the ring. He then slides in himself, and sets up a ladder next to the ropes where Sandman, Faqu and Brock are fighting. COLE And Colombian Heat, in his weakened state, will climb the ladder here! COACH What's he going to do? Heat climbs the ladder, holding the ironing board with him, then gains his balance on the very top...and RIDES THE IRONING BOARD DOWN ONTO THE CROWD OF PEOPLE~! COLE OH MY! Colombian Heat, putting his body on the line, right out of the gate! COACH An ironing-board assisted flying bodypress! Only in the Chamber of Hell! Heat slowly gets to his feet, as the other three combatants simply lay out. He grabs Sandman, and tosses him into the ring, then stomps away at him in the corner. COLE And Heat wants Sandman9000! Look at him go! COACH Well of course, he's fresh! Sandman's been out there the whole match! Heat picks up Sandman, and executes the DRIVE-BY~! onto the barbed wire board! COLE Onto the barbed wire! 1... 2... NO! Sandman gets the shoulder up! Heat pulls Sandman back into the corner, then climbs up and lays in punches as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! Heat is interrupted by Brock Ausstin, who lays in a shot to the back! COLE And Brock Ausstin from behind! Brock then hammers Sandman with a right hand, before ramming Heat into the buckle. He then delivers a headbutt to Heat, then kicks Sandman in the gut, as Faqu slides back into the ring. Brock grabs the thumbtack motorcycle helmet, and puts it over his hand, then punches Sandman over the forehead! COLE Brock using that helmet like a boxing glove, delivering a big right hand to Sandman! However, Faqu sends Brock to the mat with a thrust kick! COACH But the Samoan Wrecking Ball isn't done yet, Cole! Heat goes back to work on Sandman, as Faqu stomps Brock to the outside. Faqu rakes Brock's face across the Chamber wall, then lays in chops, before grabbing the barbed wire chair. COLE And Faqu now with that chair wrapped in barbed wire! Faqu rams Brock in the ribs with the chair, while Heat runs into Sandman's feet in the corner inside. Sandman chokes away at Heat, while, Faqu charges Brock with the chair, only to have it kicked back into his face! COLE But Faqu's plan backfires! Meanwhile, in the ring, Sandman is climbing a ladder with his back to Heat, who lays below on top of the cactus. COACH Sandman going for something big on the inside, Cole! Heat slowly gets to his feet, and hammers Sandman on the back, then climbs the ladder on the other side. Meanwhile on the outside, Brock grabs Faqu in a battering ram, and rams him into the Chamber wall! COLE And a battering ram on the outside! COACH Wow, I don't know if even Faqu's head can take that kind of a move! Heat rams Sandman's face on the top of the ladder, then climbs over, hooking his legs under Sandman's shoulders...and executing a SUNSET FLIP BOMB OFF THE LADDER ONTO THE CACTUS~! COACH Oh my GOD. COLE Sandman right on his head and neck on that cactus! "HO-LY SHIT~!" "HO-LY SHIT~!" "HO-LY SHIT~!" "HO-LY SHIT~!" COLE That was almost like Todd Cortez's Riot Act Plus off of that ladder, down onto the cactus! But Heat unable to cover! Heat slowly gets to his feet...and is met with a BARBED-WIRE CHAIRSHOT from Brock Ausstin! COACH Now he's REALLY unable to cover! Heat bleeds as he lays on the mat, as Faqu slides back inside. Brock lays the chair on the mat, then scoops up Faqu on his shoulders! COLE And here comes the F-Stunner-5 on the 300-pounder! However, Heat hits Brock with a chop block! COLE But Heat took the knee out on Brock! Faqu slowly gets to his feet, and stomps away on Heat, then picks him up and lays in chops! COLE And now Faqu going to work on Heat! That's gratitude for ya, I guess! Faqu whips Heat into the ropes, then flattens him with a body attack! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Meanwhile, Sandman delivers some forearm shots to Brock in a corner, but Brock grabs Sandman around the throat, and tosses him back into the corner, then delivers BIG right hands! COLE Brock Ausstin unloading on the Heartland champion! Faqu and Heat slip to the outside, as Brock whips Sandman into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Sandman hits a quick dropkick to the head! Meanwhile, on the outside, Faqu slams Heat's ironing board over his back! COLE Right to Heat's injured back! COACH Heat's own weapon from his bag! Haha! Faqu gives him another shot, as Heat arches his back in pain, and Faqu shoves him inside, while Sandman shoves Brock to the outside. Sandman grabs Brock in a standing headscissors, then hooks his arms. COLE Sandman going for the Archangel's Wings on the floor! However, Brock spins out, then scoops Sandman onto his shoulders, and gives him the F-STUNNER-5 INTO THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER~!!!!!!11111 COLE But Brock counters, and Sandman taking the F-Stunner-5 into the Chamber wall! Unbelievable! Brock stands and catches his breath, then goes back inside, and hammers away on Heat, then executes a hanging fisherman's buster! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And Heat getting the shoulder up after that suplex from Brock! Faqu stomps Sandman on the floor, then allows him to get to his feet, and delivers blows to the side of the face, followed by a big headbutt! Sandman sinks to his knees, as Faqu grabs the steel steps, lifting them over his head and approaching Sandman, who joins his hands together, and raises them in between the legs of Faqu! COLE Sandman with a low blow on the outside, as Faqu was about to slam those steel steps into his head! Faqu drops the steps behind him, as Sandman lays in some weak right hands. Faqu quickly recovers, and fires back, knocking Sandman to the floor with another massive headbutt! COACH But Sandman has had a lot of starch taken out of him here! Meanwhile, on the inside, Brock whips Heat to the ropes, and lifts him for a PRESS SLAM~!, but Heat slips behind, and takes Brock's knee out once again! COLE And Heat once again, going for the big man's knee! Faqu reaches into the ring, and drags Heat to the outside, hammering him as Sandman scales the top rope. Brock catches him, however, and crotches him! COLE Sandman got caught going upstairs! Brock tries to follow him upstairs, attempting to hook him for a superplex, but Sandman delivers right hands. COACH Sandman trying to avoid a superplex attempt! Sandman grabs Brock by the head, and delivers multiple headbutts, sending Brock down to the mat. COLE And Sandman able to stave off Brock for now! Sandman steps back up to the top, then waits for Brock to get up, then jumps off and drives a knee right into his face! COACH Wow, that was a flying knee, kind of like a Shining Wizard, off the top rope! Sandman covers... 1... 2... NO! Brock gets the shoulder up! COLE But not enough to put away Brock Ausstin! Sandman tosses Brock to the outside, then follows him out, and then assists Faqu in stomping Colombian Heat. COLE And now it's a double team, as Sandman joins Faqu and they both stomp away on Colombian Heat! COACH Yeah! Stomp right on that back! However, Brock is able to get to his feet, and hammers on the back of Faqu. Heat is able to fight his way up on Sandman, and takes the advantage with right hands, then holds him for Brock, who lays in rights to the gut. COLE And now it's Sandman being double-teamed, by Colombian Heat and Brock Ausstin! After a few shots, Brock reaches over Sandman and levels Heat! COACH And now Brock attacking Colombian Heat! How about that? Brock takes over on Heat on the floor, as Faqu pulls Sandman into the ring. Faqu whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman ducks a clothesline, and floors Faqu with a spinning wheel kick! Sandman then gets to his feet, and grabs the barbed-wire bat, digging into Faqu's head with it! COLE And Sandman putting the barbed wire into play once again, digging into the forehead of Faqu! Brock makes his way back into the ring, flooring both Sandman and Faqu with shots from the ironing board! He then grabs his croquet sledge, and begins to choke Faqu with it! Brock then picks up Faqu, and delivers a headbutt...which only serves to hurt himself! COACH Well, that was a dumb move! Doesn't Brock know about those Samoans? Brock delivers a second headbutt, same result, then Faqu delivers a big one of his own, before taking Brock over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And Faqu could be setting Brock up here! Faqu then lays down the barbed wire chair, then hooks Brock...and delivers the DEATH BY SAMOAN~!!!!!11111 COACH There it is! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Brock Ausstin has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Faqu (pinfall) remaining: Sandman9000, Faqu, Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu gets to his feet and slaps on his chest, then roars, before Heat rolls back inside and hits him with a PELE KICK~!, sending him through the ropes to the floor! COLE But there's Colombian Heat with the Pele Kick! Sandman comes at Heat with a clothesline, but Heat ducks, and hits Sandman with the PELE KICK~!, as well! COLE And one for Sandman! Heat backs into the ropes, and hits the SHAKY LEGS KNEEDROP~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat grabs the barbed-wire chair, then grabs Sandman in a headlock, but Sandman lifts him, and drops him onto the chair with a back suplex! COACH Yeah! Great move, Sandman! COLE Heat right down on his injured back on that barbed-wire chair! Heat rolls around on the mat in pain, as Sandman gets to his feet, then drops a knee to the back! He turns Heat over, and covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Faqu rolls back inside, and hammers Sandman from behind, then rams him into the buckle, before going to work on Heat. He lays in chops, but Heat slugs back! COLE And look at Heat fight back! A slugfest ensues, with Faqu getting the best of it, before Heat punts him RIGHT IN THE NUTS~! COACH Look at that cheap shot! COLE There aren't any cheap shots in this match! Faqu falls to the mat, then Sandman grabs his leg and pulls him to the ringpost, ramming his leg into it! COLE And now Sandman9000 wrapping the leg of the Samoan Wrecking Ball around that ringpost! Sandman then reaches into his bin, and pulls out a spool of barbed wire! COACH Oh, man! COLE What else can these guys pull out? Sandman unrolls some of the wire, and wraps it tight around the leg of Faqu, then rams the leg into the post once again! He then grabs the leg and bends it around the post, pulling back on it, until Faqu finally uses his free foot and kicks Sandman repeatedly in the face to free himself. COLE Well, Faqu got himself out of that jam, but his left leg is still wrapped up in that barbed wire! Faqu tries to unwrap himself, but Heat stops him, catching him with a swinging neckbreaker! Heat then picks up Faqu, and attempts an Irish whip, but Faqu reverses. Heat ducks a clothesline, but gets caught in a SAMOAN DROP~! Faqu follows that up, by dropping his barbed-wire wrapped leg on Heat! COLE Faqu with a legdrop, with that leg which is wrapped in barbed wire! Faqu then sits up, and begins to unwrap the barbed wire from his leg. After unwrapping it, he wraps it around his fist, then drops into the head of Heat! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Heat gets the shoulder up! COLE But Colombian Heat still refusing to lay down! Sandman then slides back inside with the ironing board, and jams it into the midsection of Faqu! As Faqu is doubled over, Sandman stands with his back towards the cactus, and grabs him in a front facelock. He waits, as Heat gets to his feet, then looks at Sandman for a second, before grabbing a front facelock himself. COLE And look at this double team! COACH Wow, I can't believe this! Sandman and Heat lift Faqu, and execute a DOUBLE SUPLEX ONTO THE CACTUS~! COLE Sandman and Heat joining forces, and Faqu lands on the cactus! Heat then goes right back after Sandman, dropping an elbow on him, then picking him up and delivering the GANGSTA SLAM~! Everyone lays on the mat, as the crowd gets to its feet. COLE And listen to the crowd here in Cleveland, showing their appreciation for the final three combatants in the fourth Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! Faqu slowly gets to his feet, then stomps away on Heat, kicking him to the outside. Sandman nails him from behind, then whips him into a corner, and follows him in with a knee to the face! COLE Big knee by Sandman9000 to the Samoan Wrecking Ball! However, Faqu walks right out of the corner, and holds his arms out. COACH Look at this, though! Faqu roars as Sandman turns around, then hooks one arm, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE The knee to the head by Sandman, but it had no effect on the big man! Faqu rolls to the outside, and grabs two steel chairs from under the ring. He rolls inside with them, then sets them up, and lays the barbed wire board across them. COACH What is Faqu doing? Faqu picks up Sandman, and delivers a chop, then lays him across the board. He then sets up the big ladder, and begins to climb, with his back to Sandman. COLE And the big man going to fly here, possibly! Meanwhile, on the outside, Heat has got the iron and blowtorch, and is torching the iron, until the base is glowing red! COACH Oh my God, look at that iron! Heat then slides into the ring, and climbs the ladder on the other side. Faqu reaches over, and throws right hands at Heat, then steps over the ladder and kicks away. One last kick attempt...but Heat holds the iron out, and Faqu's foot presses into it! COLE OH MY GOD, Faqu's foot being burned by that red hot iron! Faqu sits atop the ladder, as Sandman rolls off the board. Heat clotheslines Sandman to the mat, then climbs the ladder behind Faqu, and PRESSES THE IRON IN BETWEEN HIS SHOULDER BLADES~!~!~! COACH Somebody stop this! Faqu lays back, and Heat ducks below him, and hooks his arms. COLE Oh...my...God... Heat turns Faqu upside down...and delivers the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE OFF OF THE LADDER, BREAKING THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE BOARD BELOW~!!!!!11111 COLE/COACH :o :o :o HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Heat pushes back off of his feet, hooking one of Faqu's legs... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH Oh, no. COLE Faqu is gone! We're down to two!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Faqu eliminated by: Colombian Heat (pinfall) remaining: Sandman9000, Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Sandman stands in a corner, as Heat pulls himself to his feet. The two stare across the ring at each other, as the crowd noise escalates. COLE And this is what it had to come down to! After what Sandman and the Deadly Alliance did to Colombian Heat, now Heat has a chance for revenge! COACH Quit living in a fairy tale world, Cole! This is Sandman's environment! Heat has no chance! Heat meets Sandman in mid-ring, and the two slug it out! COLE And here we go! Sandman gets the better of the exchange, then tosses Heat to the outside. COACH See that? Heat's emotions are getting the better of him! He's not going to win a slugfest with Sandman! Sandman grabs Heat around the waist, and shoves him back-first into the Chamber wall! COLE And Sandman going right after that injured back! Sandman rams Heat into the wall once again, then picks up the steel steps, and slams them onto his back! COLE Oh wow, those steel steps right onto that back! Sandman rolls Heat back inside, and stomps away at him. Sandman waits for Heat to get up, then backs into the ropes, and charges at him with a YAKUZA KICK~!...but Heat ducks, then drives Sandman into the mat with the BONG HIT~! COLE Heat scores with the Bong Hit! 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat climbs to the top rope, then waits for Sandman to get to his feet, and hits him with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COLE And a missile dropkick! Heat comes to his feet with a SPINAROONI~!, but sinks back to one knee holding his back. COACH What an idiot! Sandman gets to his feet, then hooks Heat...and executes the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And there's the Archangel's Wings! But Sandman can't cover! Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, then Sandman scoots over, and drapes an arm over... 1... 2... 3!!! ... NO!!! Heat gets the shoulder up! COACH Come on, ref! COLE Heat getting the shoulder out of there at the last split second! Sandman pulls himself to his feet, then spots the iron laying on the mat. He picks it up, then torches it back up. COLE And now Sandman with that red-hot iron! Sandman approaches Heat, and tries to force the iron INTO HIS FACE, but Heat grabs Sandman's wrists with his hands, and keeps it away! COLE Sandman was going to drive that iron right into Heat's face! After a long struggle, Heat drives both feet up into Sandman's gut! He then pulls himself up, and clotheslines Sandman, then kicks his legs apart, and picks up the iron, as the crowd begins to groan. COACH Oh, you gotta be kidding me! Heat drives the iron down, as Sandman manages to avoid this grizzly fate with a backwards somersault, then floors Heat with a flying forearm! COACH Phew! COLE And lucky for Sandman there, he was able to roll out of the way! Sandman then grabs the barbed-wire chair, and raises it above his head...but as he does, Heat JAMS THE IRON INTO HIS MIDSECTION~! COACH Oh no! Heat rolls up Sandman in a small package! 1... 2... NO! Sandman kicks out! COLE Heat ALMOST had it right there! Heat picks up Sandman, and delivers the PIMP JUICE~! He then grabs the barbed-wire chair, and CRACKS it over the head of Sandman! COLE And a MASSIVE chair shot! COACH ...I can't believe I'm saying this, but it doesn't look good for Sandman right now! Heat climbs to the top rope with his back to Sandman...and flies off with STRAIGHT FROM DA STREET~!!! COLE Heat with his Sky Twister Press! 1... 2... 3!!! NO!!! Sandman gets the shoulder up! COACH All RIGHT! Can you believe this, Cole? COLE What tremendous fighting spirit shown by both of these two competitors! Heat gets to his knees and puts his hands over his head, then crawls over to the iron. He picks it up, and approaches Sandman, waiting for him to get to his feet. He takes a big swing with the iron, but Sandman ducks, then hooks him, and drives him with a URINAGI INTO THE CACTUS~! COACH And still mounting an offense! This guy is great! Sandman keeps his arm over Heat... 1... 2... NO!!! Heat gets the shoulder up! COLE And Heat not to be outdone, Coach! COACH But Heat was the last guy to enter! Sandman's been out there the whole match! COLE And if Sandman does go on to win this, he would be the first person to start the Chamber of Hell match in the ring, and come out the winner! Sandman then grabs the iron, raises it in the air, and BURIES IT INTO THE CHEST OF HEAT~! COLE OH MY GOD~!!! Sandman with the iron RIGHT INTO THE HEART of Colombian Heat. Heat lays shaking on the mat, as Sandman drags him into a corner, and sets up the big ladder. Sandman then hops to the outside, and slides out a tray resting underneath his trash bin, pulling out a STEEL CHAIR WITH LIGHTTUBES FUSED ONTO IT! COLE Oh my. COACH And look at that chair, Cole, a Sandman specialty! Sandman slides the chair into the ring, then begins to climb the ladder. He gains his balance at the very top of the giant ladder...and comes off with a VAN TERMINATOR OFF THE TOP OF THE GIANT LADDER~!!! COLE And the lighttubes shattering in the face of Colombian Heat, thanks to that Van Terminator from the top of that huge ladder! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Sandman gets to his feet, then grabs Heat by the arm, and picks him up, then scoops him up onto his shoulders in a reverse fireman's carry...before shifting him, and planting him with the PSYCHO DRIVAH~!!!!!11111 COLE And the PSYCHO DRIVAH~! Sandman covers... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~! COLE And MERCIFULLY, it's over! Sandman9000 has retained the Heartland title! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! The referee drapes the belt across Sandman's waist as People = Shit plays. COLE A gallant effort on the part of six of the bravest, toughest men in our business. Bodies mangled! Blood, sweat and tears shed! Careers, possibly lives, changed forever! But in the end, the result is the same! Sandman9000, STILL the OAOAST Heartland champion! Sandman leans over the middle rope, holding his belt into the camera and giving a deep stare. SANDMAN Still Deadly. COACH Haha! That says it all, Cole! Sandman rolls out of the ring, and Alfdogg is waiting for him as he's let out of the Chamber. Alf raises his hand, then helps him to the back. Meanwhile, Heat starts to stir in the ring, then crawls to the ropes and comes to his feet, to a rousing ovation. COLE And this crowd showing its appreciation for the runner-up, Colombian Heat, as well! Heat seemed so close to finally unseating Sandman9000 at times during this match, but it was not to be on this night! The Sandman9000 era will march on! Let's go to... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 CUT BACKSTAGE DOCTOR STEPHEN PIGLEY They annexed Prussia? Why didn't anyone tell me?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 (edited) THURSDAYS OR FRIDAYS ON TSM! WILL ALFDOGG LIVE UP TO HIS PROMISE OR WILL PRL PROVE HIM WRONG? YES. I MEAN NO. I MEAN WHAT WAS THE QUESTION? IT WAS RHETORICAL? WHY ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT ANSWERED? FUCK YOU EMILY! "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here And the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" The red carpet is rolled out as "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays. Lugging along his trusty Siclopse camera, out through the entrance heads Simon Singleton... and it's Singleton by name, Singleton by nature as he heads to the ring alone. That doesn't seem to bother Simon too much as he struts to the ring with a smile on his face, always happy to be under the bright lights of Pay Per View. BUFFER Your next contest here at OAOAST Zero Hour is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Beverly Hills, California... he weighs two hundred, twenty five pounds... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR"... "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIIIMMMMOOOOOONN... SSSSIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Simon sets the Siclopse up at the foot of the aisle, getting his shots all lined up before he even thinks of entering the ring. COLE This match added to the Zero Hour card on OAOAST.com at the eleventh hour by Josie Baker, although we understand that Theodore Moneymaker was instrumental in getting this signed. And you'll notice no Ned Blanchard and no Molly Nerdly at Simon Singleton's side tonight. Moneymaker has made it clear, Simon is on his own tonight and it's down to him to impress the, quote, "Messiah". Removing his Beverly Hills Blond silver vest, Simon tests out the ring ropes while the crowd are more interested in the entrance way. As the drums kick in to "Rock The Casbah" the Cleveland crowd rise to their feet, to welcome Leon Rodez. The Silky Smooth One lacks the fun and frivolity you usually see from him, head down and heading for the ring with only an occassional reach to slap a hand to show he's hearing the crowd. BUFFER And his opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds. A member of The In Crowd... "THE NEW-AGE LOVE MACHINE"... "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Leon climbs the steps and pulls off his robe, with Simon standing just feet away jawing at him. COACH You know, I went on OAOAST.com last night to do a little research and I found out some big news. Did you read this, apparantly Leon and Maggie Nerdly, rumour has it, are on a 'trial separation'. COLE I read that too and if it's true, that's unfortunate to hear. COACH Ah, don't worry about it. Seems like Leon's moved on quickly enough. COLE Now we don't know that to be true either Coach. All we saw was a note, let's not read too much into that. Let's try and concentrate on this one fall match, In Crowd versus Enterprise here tonight. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and the crowd are instantly behind Leon with their vocal support. Not happy, Simon rolls out of the ring and makes a big deal of hitting the "mute" button on his Siclopse. COLE So much for artistic integrity. COACH What? Maybe Simon just wants to put a good, triumphant sound-track to it later and wants to make Molly's job a little easier. COLE How hard is it to press mute on a computer? Simon rolls back in and we're ready to go, with a lock-up. Singleton grabs a side headlock and gets shot off the ropes, knocking Leon down on the rebound with a shoulder block. 'Rolling cameras', Simon comes off the ropes again. Roadblock created by Leon, BOSS going up and over before being taken over with a Sitout Hiptoss! 1... 2... No! Swing and a miss from Simon leaves him wide open, Leon looking to take him up for a back suplex. Singleton manages to float over the back though landing safely on his feet. A shove in the back sends Leon off the ropes as Simon prepares to swing for the hills again. Strike 2 for BOSS though as Rodez slides through the legs to first base... and that uses up every baseball reference I know, so I've got nothing... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...for a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Not a fan of chops, Simon drops to his knees and attempts to call for a timeout. But Leon isn't in a forgiving mood tonight and pulls Simon back up by the EARS, before sending him off the ropes and connecting with a standing dropkick! COLE Leon picking up where he left off this past Thursday night on HeldDOWN against Thunderkid, on the offence, showing some rare intensity. And you can only imagine what it's going to be like this week, Leon Rodez versus Reject inside of a fifteen foot high steel cage! Rolling out of the ring, Singleton pulls himself up on the apron still looking for some sort of a reprieve. And he's still out of luck as Leon delivers a baseball slide, knocking Simon's feet from underneath him, causing him to drop face-first into the ring apron! Reaching out of the ring, Leon then drags Simon back up onto the apron, bringing him in the hard way with a vertical suplex... 1... 2... No. Irish whip sends Singleton into a corner, Leon charging in... and getting caught with a knee! COACH There we go. Show him why you're the BOSS! COLE I wonder how Theodore Moneymaker feels about that nickname. COACH He's The Messiah now, I'm sure he's cool with it. Hopping to the middle rope, Simon drops with a right hand to the temple from short range. That staggers Rodez, allowing Simon to go up again with a second fist. Singleton then delivers a back suplex and makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Simon looks to shut Leon down with a rear chinlock now, positioning him towards the Siclopse for a good full frontal shot of the hold. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE This Cleveland crowd getting behind Leon Rodez. And he seems to be drawing off it. COACH Yeah no kidding, C'MON SIMON! You're gonna have to do better than a chinlock to impress Mister Moneymaker! Fighting to his feet with the support of the fans, Leon delivers an elbow to the gut. And a second. And a third, breaking free. As he goes to hit the ropes though, Simon reaches out and grabs a hold of the back of his singlet. A sly tug puts Leon on the backfoot and allows Simon to hit the ropes instead, aiming high with a clothesline. Rodez ducks though, dropkicking Singleton in the back to set him on the middle rope. Sizing him up, Rodez then does a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of BOSS! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles! Simon staggers off the ropes... right into an Exploder Suplex! COLE And what a throw! Simon is in trouble right now and there's no-one for the tag team specialist to tag, he's aaaall alone! Waiting on Singleton to get back up, Leon delivers a boot and underhooks the arms. Before he can hit the Tiger Driver though Simon drops to one knee and prevents from being taken up. Leon lets him go with a little annoyance and pulls Simon up for a chop... but Simon cuts him off by going to the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH See, Simon ain't no scrub. He knows what's up. Scoop and a slam from BOSS sets The Silky Smooth One where he wants him, as he heads to the top rope. The crowd let Singleton hear it as he stops halfway to size Leon up on his imaginary camera phone, before scaling the rest of the way to the top. COLE Simon wasting a lot of time here. COACH He's a sport entertainer Michael. It's all about the style. See, here's the entertainment... Getting his footing, Simon soars with his patented CLAPBOARD LEGDROP... COACH ...and here's the sport! ...BUT LEON ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Hobbling around, the hold on his tailbone prevents Simon from blocking a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing The Video Voyeur upside the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! And Simon IS out! Dragging his opponent into position, Leon quickly heads to the top himself. Wasting none of the time that Singleton has earlier he scales up the turnbuckles and reaches the top in no time at all, tumbling... ...and NAILING the 450!!! COLE Put it in the can! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Absolutely decisive! "Rock The Casbah" hits again, Leon's hand raised in a satisfying victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEOOOOOOONN... RRROOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Leon with a nice warm-up for the match that he REALLY wants. And it's the match he's going to get this week on HeldDOWN~! Rodez, Reject, inside the Steel Cage, what a war it promises to be... Suddenly, we cut away from the ring... and to a hotel near the arena, where we find Melissa Nerdly walking down the hallway. She stops at room 401, where she sees an employee standing next to the door. MELISSA Hi, I'm Melissa! I'm here to see Leon. The employee hands her a key to the room, and a note. MELISSA "Use the restroom to get yourself ready, then see me in the room." Melissa enters the room, and walks into the restroom, humming to herself as she fluffs out her hair, and removes her coat to reveal some very revealing black lingerie, which gets a rise out of the males watching. She looks in the mirror and smiles, then walks into the room. MELISSA Well, what do you think... Melissa holds her arms out, then her smile turns to a look of shock and horror, as the camera pans to the bed to reveal Reject laying on it, with his hands behind his head. REJECT Oh, you look great. Melissa screams in horror, as Reject hops off the bed, and the camera suddenly cuts out, and the screen becomes fuzzy. Back in the Quicken Loans Arena and Leon, halfway up the aisle, has come to a stop. Looking at the now blank video screen he runs his hands over his head before quickly disappearing backstage. COLE Well, that is... that is not good. The camera cuts to the OAOAST Zero Hour 2008 interview set where Josh Matthews is standing by with Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and a serious look on his face. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R., in just a few moments, you will step into the ring and defend the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship against a man who has been targeting you ever since you won the Title at AngleMania VII, Alfdogg. What are your thoughts heading into this-- THA PUERTO RICAN Josh, I would love to stay and chat, but I've got an ass-kicking that I've got to dish out! Alfdogg thinks that he's got this one in the bag? Alfdogg thinks that he's the uncrowned Champion? Well, he's in for a rude awakening, my friend! Or should that be, a P.R. Nightmare! Heat, buddy, this one's for you! Tha Puerto Rican walks away from the OAOAST Zero Hour 2008 interview set ready for his match as J.Math just stares at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, quizzical. The crowd cheers loudly. Edited September 30, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2008 (edited) COLE And it's time for our main event of the evening! Alfdogg looking to join Zack Malibu as the only three-time OAOAST World champions in history! Let's take a look at what has led up to this match! The OAOAST Zero Hour logo flashes across the screen. Cut to a black screen. The number 5 appears on it. Cut to OAOAST AngleSlam 2008 on August 31, 2008. Cut to the ending of Tha Puerto Rican/Brickston 60-Minute Iron Man Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This is shown in a green tint. :10 Tha Puerto Rican starts moving further, his teeth clenched. Brickston also has his teeth clenched, applying the Anklelock on PRL! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd counts the time left. :09 Tha Puerto Rican pushes forward. :08 Tha Puerto Rican pushes forward. :07 Tha Puerto Rican pushes Brickston off of his right ankle, BREAKING THE ANKLELOCK! :06 Brickston is sent into the ropes. :05 Brickston is bounced off of the ropes, where he is then grabbed from behind by Tha Puerto Rican and rolled up! The crowd cheers! :04 Earl Hebner gets into position. :03 1! :02 2! :01 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :00 *BZZZZZZZZZT* *DING DING DING* (60:00) "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE THA PUERTO RICAN GOT THE PIN FALL! THA PUERTO RICAN WINS THE MATCH! THA PUERTO RICAN IS STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! (CLIP) COLE Tonight, he proved all of the naysayers wrong! He showed the world just WHY he is the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican overcame the biggest obstacle in his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign so far and can add this match to his growing list of successful OAOAST World Heavyweight Title defenses! What a night for Tha Puerto Rican! (CLIP) As PRL continues to struggle to his feet, "Know Your Role 2000" gets interrupted as The Wall by Kansas hits. COLE What is this? Alfdogg walks through the curtains, urging Josie Baker out with him, and holding his golden ticket. (CLIP) Alf signs his ticket and hands it to Josie, who then gathers the referee and Michael Buffer together. COLE ...does this mean what I think it does??? The huddle breaks, and Michael Buffer raises his mic up. BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...the following contest, is for the OAOAST Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! JESSE YES! *DING DING DING* COLE I can't believe this! Alf using his favor from Josie, and this is an official match! Alf comes up from behind PRL, and hooks him in a cobra clutch, then snaps forward, executing the COBRA CLUTCH FACEBUSTER~!!! Alf covers... COLE Here's the cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* JESSE YYYYYYYYYYYYES YES YES YES MOTHERFUCKING YES!!!!! COLE Alfdogg is the World champion! I don't believe this! The referee hands Alf the belt, and raises his hand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen! The winner...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OGG!!!!! COLE What a shocker! Alfdogg, who came up short against Landon Maddix just ten days ago in the MITB semi-final, cashes in his favor, and now he's the OAOAST World champion for the third time! What must Landon be thinking right now? Alf celebrates with the belt on the ropes, but Josie calls over the referee. COLE Now what's going on? Josie explains something to the referee, then the camera pans down to the still out of it PRL, whose leg is lying under the bottom rope. COLE Hey wait a minute, this match may not be over, Jess! JESSE What do you mean it's not over? Alf just pinned PRL, he's the World champion! The referee explains the situation to Michael Buffer. COLE Wait a minute, let's hear this! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. The referee has just informed me that Tha Puerto Rican's foot was UNDERNEATH THE ROPE during the three-count! The crowd cheers, as Alf, still with the belt on his shoulder, puts his hands on his head. BUFFER After consultation with our referee as well as OAOAST President Josie Baker, it has been ruled, that this match MUST CONTINUE~! COLE ALL RIGHT~! JESSE Wait, no, that's not fair! Alf pinned PRL, fair and square! He should be the champion! The referee tries to grab the belt from Alf, but Alf shoves him to the ground! Alf then flips the belt off of his shoulder and sizes up PRL...then takes a swing... ...but PRL ducks, gives him a kick to the gut, then delivers the P.R. NIGHTMARE ONTO THE TITLE BELT~!!!!!11111 COLE The P.R. Nightmare out of nowhere! Right onto the belt! JESSE This isn't happening! PRL covers, as the referee slides over... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* JESSE NNNNNNNNNNNNO NO NO NO MOTHERFUCKING NO!!!!! BUFFER The winner...and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight championship of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRLD...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! JESSE :angry::angry: COLE And PRL retains after all! A one hour title match, followed by an impromptu match against a three-time World champion, and PRL still walks out with the gold! Tha Puerto Rican continues living out his dream for another day! PRL rolls to the outside with the belt, as Know Your Role 2000 plays. He backs up the aisle, raising the belt, as Alf comes to and rolls to his stomach, staring him down in the aisle. COLE And I'll tell you what, Alf may not have won the title with that trick, but one thing's for sure...he said that tonight he would start making people notice the Deadly Alliance...and I guarantee you that the champ has taken notice after this! But Tha Puerto Rican has reason to celebrate! He has wrestled two matches in a span of 65 minutes! Tonight, Tha Puerto Rican PROVED that he DESERVES to be One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican stands at the entrance and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head while smiling. The crowd cheers loudly as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image that we see before we fade to black. The camera cuts to a black screen. 4 Cut to Alfdogg from the September 4, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. ALF This past Sunday, I was SCREWED out of the World title that I righgfilly won! That I pinned PRL right here in this ring for! And I want something done about that! So Josie, we don't leave this ring until you come out and do just that! (CLIP) You know why I'm out here. What happened last night was not right. It was a miscarriage of justice. I should be the World champion as we speak. And now, because of YOU, I'm out the title, and out my golden ticket! What is it, Josie? Is it because the Deadly Alliance poses too big of a threat to your friend, Theodore Moneymaker, and his Enterprise? Is that it? But fear not, because Sandman here has offered to sign over his golden ticket to me. COACH Wow! JOSIE Sandman, is that true? Sandman nods. ALF And I'd like to cash in this favor right now...and book a match for the World title between myself and Tha Puerto Rican at Zero Hour! *crowd cheers* JOSIE Are you sure this is what you want? ALF Absolutely. JOSIE Then so it will be. At Zero Hour, the main event will feature the World champion, Tha Puerto Rican, defending his World Heavyweight championship, against the former two-time champion, Alfdogg! *crowd cheers* COLE What a HUGE announcement for Zero Hour! The camera cuts to a black screen. 3 Cut to the September 11, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to the ending of The Badd Boyz/Alfdogg & Sandman9000 match. PRL backs into the corner, and stomps his foot, then as Alf comes around, sets up SWEET CHIN MUSIC...but Alf ducks, then hits a SUPERKICK of his own! COLE But no, it's Alf scoring with the kick! VENTURA And now Alf going to the top! Alf scales the ropes, as PRL is still down...and scores with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf hit it! Alf hooks the near leg... 1... 2... 3!!! VENTURA He got him! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...the team representing the Deadly Alliance...SSSSSSSSSSSSANDMAN NINE THOUSAND and ALFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!! (CLIP) Alf gloats in the ring, until Heat comes in and begins to trade blows with him! Sandman rolls into the ring, and holds Heat from behind as Alf delivers right hands and chops. Meanwhile, PRL begins to come to, making his way to all fours...when he is met with a chairshot to the back from Thunderkid! COLE And now Thunderkid and Reject out here! TK and Reject stomp away on PRL, as Alf grabs another chair from ringside, and slides it into Reject, who places it over the arm of PRL. COLE Oh, no... Reject then grabs the other chair from TK. (CLIP) Reject raises the chair in the air, but Heat lunges and tackles him to the mat! And naturally, then gets stomped down by the other three DA members. (CLIP) Alf rolls to the outside, as Sandman hooks PRL, and drives him into the mat with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 Alf then comes out from under the ring with a WEED WHACKER~! COLE Oh, God, this is going too far! Get somebody out here! Alf slides into the ring with the weed whacker, but is confronted by the referee, which prompts him to clothesline the referee in the chest with the weapon! COLE And now assaulting officials! Alf whispers something to TK, who exits the ring and heads to the back. VENTURA Now where's TK going? COLE Who knows. Reject turns PRL over onto his stomach, as Alf fires up the weed whacker. However, Heat crawls over slowly, and shields PRL from the attack. Alf looks down at Heat, as TK arrives with a big bucket. COLE TK out here with a bucket, and God only knows what's in that thing! Alf then looks up at Sandman, and passes the weed whacker over to him. Without much hesitation, Sandman starts it up, and USES IT ON THE BACK OF COLOMBIAN HEAT! VENTURA COLE Sandman9000 using that weed whacker on the back of Colombian Heat! I can't believe this! Get help out there, NOW! Heat screams in pain, as Sandman finally lifts it up, and the camera zooms in on the lacerations on his back. VENTURA This is gruesome, Michael Cole. Look at that back! COLE This is heinous on the part of Sandman9000 and the Deadly Alliance! TK pushes the bucket into the ring, then rolls inside and picks it up. Reject sticks his finger inside, and immediately pulls it back, shaking it like crazy. VENTURA Well, whatever that substance is must be very hot! Alf stomps PRL, as TK grabs a candle out of his pocket, and dunks it into the bucket. COLE Jesse, I...I think that's candle wax that's in that bucket! TK hands the bucket off to Sandman, then drips a small amount of the wax into one of the wounds on the back of Heat! COLE And putting it in the opened flesh of Colombian Heat! Officials finally arive, as Alf holds them off with the weed whacker, while Reject drops down and grabs Heat in a front facelock, as Sandman DUMPS THE CONTENTS OF THE BUCKET ONTO HEAT'S WOUNDED BACK! COLE/VENTURA Heat quivers on the mat, as Alf drops the weed whacker, and all four Deadly Alliance members stand around Heat, looking down on him and smiling. COLE Four sick, disgusting individuals in that ring right now. VENTURA I'll tell you what...it's a rarity that the Body is at a loss for words...but I just don't know what to say about this. Alf then slides to the outside, and grabs PRL's title belt, as well as the Heartland title belt, sliding in as TK and Reject "help" the champ to his feet, only for Alf to send him crashing back down to the mat with a beltshot! Alf then stands over PRL, as Sandman stands to his right, Reject to his left, and TK to Reject's left, and raises the World title with his right hand, while Sandman, TK and Reject do the same with their own belts. Meanwhile, EMTs load Heat carefully onto a stretcher as he continues to wiggle and make pained noises, and rush him as fast as they can to a waiting ambulance. The camera cuts to a black screen. 2 Cut to the September 18, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Heat slowly removes his shirts and slams them to the floor halfway through the aisle, and fans gasp upon seeing his back, heavily scarred and ready to bleed again upon impact. COLE Oh wow, look at that. COACH I got a feeling this is gonna get real ugly, real quick, Cole. Heat rolls into the ring, and Alf pounces immediately. (CLIP) COLE And look at this! Heat actually forming a comeback here! Heat shoves Alf back into the corner, and peppers him with chops and punches! As Alf staggers out of the corner, Heat slowly climbs to the second rope behind him, then catches him with a BULLDOG~! Cover... (CLIP) Heat then backs Alf into the ropes, and delivers the SHAKY LEGS KNEEDROP~! (CLIP!) Heat then picks up Alf, and sets up an Irish whip. Alf reverses, however, then drops down, and catches Heat coming back with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! COACH Oh, that's got to be it! Alf then gets to his feet, holding onto Heat's legs, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Sharpshooter applied, and Heat is making no progress towards those ropes! Heat screams in pain, but continues to shake his head no. COLE Imagine the pain that must be going through Heat right now, but he will not give up! Heat's head and hands slowly start to slump to the mat, and he becomes glassy-eyed, then unresponsive. The referee asks him one last time, and no response. The referee lifts his arm... ...and the third lift... ...THE ARM DROPS! COLE ...and that's it, we have a new U.S. champion. *DING DING DING* COACH Oh come on, get excited, Cole, we just saw a major title change hands right here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! BUFFER The winner of the match, by way of submission...and NEWWWWWWWW OAOAST United States champion...AAAAAAAAAAAAaLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!! COLE Well folks, in the record books it will say submission, but let us make clear that Colombian Heat did NOT in fact give up in this match! Alf raises his hand, while still keeping the hold. COLE And look at this, come on, ref, get him off! After the referee counts, Alf finally releases the hold, and takes the belt from the referee, raising it in the air. COLE Yeah, Alf should be really proud of himself, beating a badly injured man for his title! COACH And you know what this means, Cole, all of the Deadly Alliance members bear gold now! Sandman the Heartland champion, the tag champs Thunderkid and Reject, and now Alf, the new U.S. champion! COLE And Alf could be in possession of two belts after Zero Hour, when he challenges Tha Puerto Rican for the OAOAST World championship! As referees help Heat to the back, the remaining Deadly Alliance members join Alf in the ring, stand side-by-side, and all raise their belts with their right hands. COLE Are we looking at the premier organization in the business today? The results don't lie, look at all the gold held by the Deadly Alliance, it's a tough argument! These guys are on fire! The camera cuts to a black screen. 1 Cut to the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to the Alfdogg All-American Victory Bash. This is shown in a gold tint. The music has changed to another dramatic classical song. We return to a shot of the ring, which is covered with a red tarp, with red, white, and blue half-circle flags hanging from each side of the ring and a big covered picture in the ring. (CLIP) The Wall by Kansas hits, and Reject and Thunderkid walk to the ring in suits, followed by Sandman9000, who has the sleeves torn off of his suit. (CLIP) Reject, TK, and Sandman enter the ring, and stand on the far side, looking down the aisle as a long limousine pulls into the aisle, then stops at the ring. The driver steps out, then opens the door, and out steps Alfdogg, with the United States title belt over his right shoulder. COLE And there is the new OAOAST United States champion, Alfdogg! COACH I get it, Cole! This is a celebration party for Alf's victory! Just imagine what it's going to be like when he defeats PRL at Zero Hour! Alf raises his belt in the air, then begins waving at the fans, taking his time entering the ring. As he enters, red, white, and blue confetti pours from the ceiling, then when he does his pose, fireworks of the same colors follow. Alf then grabs a mic from ringside. ALF Thank you, thank you. This is definitely a reception worthy of YOUR United States champion, and soon to be YOUR three-time OAOAST champion of the World! *crowd boos* ALF You see, I've got all the momentum going into this Sunday...I just won the United States title, finally bringing some prestige to this belt, after nearly a year of shame was bestowed upon it...and at Zero Hour, I have everything to gain, and nothing to lose. THAT is why I will be victorious this Sunday against Tha Puerto Rican. *crowd boos* (CLIP) ALF Or when I won the Lethal Rumble match, and won my second World championship in the main event of AngleMania...but this Sunday, will rank as my greatest victory of all, when I end PRL's travashamockery of a World title reign, and finally make the OAOAST World title respectable once again. *crowd boos* ALF I must admit, PRL has done an impressive job of finding excuses not to face me over the last six months...for example, tracking down some scrub like Brickston, and paying him off to make us all think they're bitter rivals, and leaving himself open for beatdowns. But you've run out of time. You can't duck anymore. You're trapped at Zero Hour, and there is no escape. And your days as World champion, will be over. *crowd boos* ALF Now then, about my match last week. One of the best feelings I've had in my career, hell, my whole LIFE, was hearing that chump Colombian Heat scream in pain as I had him in my Sharpshooter. Because this guy took a brand new United States title, and flushed it down the toilet from day one. As long as a piece of gold and leather is around his waist, it will be a joke. Well, now, the United States title is getting the treatment it deserves! It should be celebrated, just like this. And this Sunday, punk, my man Sandman is going to finish the job in that Chamber of Hell. *crowd boos* ALF Now then... Alf summons TK and Reject over to remove the cover from the picture. ALF On three...one...two...THREE! TK and Reject remove the cover, revealing a photoshopped cover of OAOAST Magazine, with Alf holding the World title on his right shoulder, and the US title on his left shoulder, as the crowd boos. COACH Wow, they've already got the cover made and everything! Just like WrestleMania IV! COLE Alf very confident in there, I wonder how much money he paid to have that thing made? ALF THAT, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is a preview of the future. A future that, ironically, will bring us back to the way things used to be. The way things SHOULD be! It has been 758 days since I last held the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. And in that time, I briefly sworn allegiance to the country of Canada, which I apologize for, I started and ran my own professional wrestling company and was its World Heavyweight Champion, I added to my list of memorable matches and memorable moments, and perhaps most importantly, I proved to the world time and time again that I am the absolute BEST wrestler in the world today. And all of that has built up to this Sunday night. The night where I bring the OAOAST back to its glory days. Where I bring back the OAOAST to its zenith. Where I make things right all over again! Like I said before, this Sunday night will be my greatest victory when I defeat and dethrone the paper Champion, the wannabe to the throne, Tha Puerto Rican! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (CLIP) A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out to a big pop from the crowd. COLE THE CHAMP IS HERE! Coach removes his headset and jumps over the barricade, running through the crowd as far away from Tha Puerto Rican as possible. COLE DA COACH IS GONE! The Deadly Alliance turns their attention to Tha Puerto Rican. All four men have their game faces on. Alfdogg looks at his opponent for this Sunday night with a look of disgust on his face. He scoffs at PRL. Tha Puerto Rican stands on the entrance stage wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a black T-shirt, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, tan dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. He carries the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand, and a microphone in his left hand. Tha Puerto Rican is PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF at Alfdogg and The Deadly Alliance. The crowd is still going nuts for Tha Puerto Rican. COLE And The Champ must be FURIOUS at what The Deadly Alliance has done to Colombian Heat, and what Alfdogg has said about him tonight! This match was originally all business, but now…IT'S PERSONAL! Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth on the entrance stage. "Know Your Role 2000" dies down. The crowd is still going wild. PRL stands still for a few seconds, and gives Alfdogg the McMahon SNEER~! Alfdogg motions for PRL to come into the ring. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" (CLIP ALERT!) THA PUERTO RICAN You know what...SCREW IT! Tha Puerto Rican drops the microphone and runs down the entrance ramp with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! COLE P.R. doesn't want to talk! P.R. wants to have the main event of Zero Hour 3 days early! Tha Puerto Rican slides into the ring where a waiting Alfdogg pounces on him! Alf clubbers PRL with CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms on the World Heavyweight Champion! But just as quickly as he started he stops as Tha Puerto Rican springs into action with right hands! COLE P.R. and Alfdogg, duking it out before Zero Hour! Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg engage in a slugfest! Back and forth they go, trading punches! Soon, PRL gains the advantage, repeatedly nailing Alfdogg with Rock-style punches to the temple! P.R. brings the crowd to life as he repeatedly nails Alfdogg, sending him into a turnbuckle corner! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE And Alfdogg is in trouble! Suddenly, Sandman9000 clubs P.R. from behind! The OAOAST Heartland Champion continues punching away at Tha Puerto Rican! Thunderkid and Reject join in on the punching and soon enough, Alfdogg has regained his composure, and he too joins in on beating up Tha Puerto Rican, making it a 4-on-1 assault on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE And The Deadly Alliance quickly gains the advantage! The numbers game is too much! Even for the World Heavyweight Champion! The Deadly Alliance knocks PRL to the mat, and starts laying the boots to him! PRL tries to block the kicks by covering up his head, but that just leaves his body open to the assault! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Alfdogg grabs the podium and slams it over Tha Puerto Rican! The podium breaks into pieces upon impact! COLE Oh my! Alfdogg just used that podium as a weapon on PRL! Alfdogg tells Thunderkid and Reject to pick PR up. The OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Champions obliged, and pick up the weakened PRL up. PRL struggles a little bit, but he is obviously in much pain as Thunderkid and Reject hold him in place, taunting him while doing so. PRL's sunglasses have fallen off, as well as his Puerto Rican flag bandana. Alfdogg picks up the OAOAST United States Championship belt and heads to a turnbuckle corner. Alf readies himself with some practice swings, P.R. struggling to escape. Alf taunts PRL. He has an evil smile on his face as he runs out of the turnbuckle corner...charges forward...takes a swing... ::Beltshot to Tha Puerto Rican!:: COLE Oh! Alfdogg knocking Tha Puerto Rican down to the mat with the OAOAST United States Title! The same Title that Alfdogg took from Tha Puerto Rican's best friend, Colombian Heat, last week! (CLIP) Thunderkid, Reject and Alfdogg stare down at the fallen PRL with looks of disdain on their faces. The crowd boos loudly. Meanwhile, Sandman9000 has exited the ring and gone looking for something underneath the ring apron. He pulls out…a table. COLE Oh no! Not this! Not a table! It's bad enough that PRL got hit in the head with the U.S. Title! And now this!? Please! Somebody stop this! Sandman9000 grins evilly as he slides the table into the ring, and then slides into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Sandman9000 calls Alfdogg over and tells him something. Alfdogg has a sinister grin on his face and nods his head, giving Sandman a thumbs up. COLE The Deadly Alliance has got a plan! Tha Puerto Rican is in a bad way here! Alfdogg tells Thunderkid and Reject to pick Tha Puerto Rican up again. Sandman9000 sets up the table in the ring as Thunderkid and Reject pick up the unconscious PRL. Thunderkid and Reject rip off Tha Puerto Rican's shirt and choke him with it! COLE PRL is out. He is out like a light! Alfdogg directs Thunderkid and Reject to put PRL on top of the table. They stop choking Tha Puerto Rican and do so. Alfdogg then tells Sandman9000 to stand by. Alf exits the ring. COLE Oh no! What's this!? Alfdogg climbs the top rope. The crowd buzzes in anticipation, sensing what is coming up next. Sandman9000, Thunderkid and Reject all stand back and watch as Alfdogg is hunched over on the top rope with Tha Puerto Rican lying on top of the table. COLE This won't be good! This will not be good for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd yells for Alfdogg not to do what he is about to do. But Sandman9000, Reject and Thunderkid all encourage Alfdogg to do what he is about to do. Alfdogg has an evil smile on his face as he leaps off of the top rope with Tha Puerto Rican still lying on top of the table, unconscious... FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alfdogg lies on top of Tha Puerto Rican amidst the wreckage of the table! The other 3 Deadly Alliance members applaud their leader while the crowd boos loudly. COLE Alfdogg with the Five Star Alf Splash THROUGH the table! Tha Puerto Rican has been broken in half! Alfdogg has Tha Puerto Rican pinned to the mat, so Sandman9000 makes the count. 1! 2! 3!!! The crowd boos loudly. Alfdogg gets off of Tha Puerto Rican and has his hands raised in “victory” by Sandman9000 while on his knees. Alfdogg has a disgusted look on his face as Thunderkid and Reject applaud him for "pinning" Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Is this really a glimpse into the future? We saw the magazine cover, and now this! We all know how much Alfdogg wants to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion again, but who knows how far he will go to achieve that goal and end Tha Puerto Rican's dream! Alfdogg tells Sandman9000 to bring him his belt. Sandman9000 hands Alfdogg the OAOAST United States Championship belt. He then tells Sandman9000 to bring him his "other belt." Sandman hands Alf the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. Alfdogg slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder, and the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos louder at this. Alfdogg looks down at Tha Puerto Rican and sneers at him. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is in for a challenge this Sunday! Alfdogg is looking to become a double Champion and will stop at nothing to do just that! PRL better have eyes in the back of his head, because you can bet that The Deadly Alliance will be lurking around the corner during the main event! Alfdogg raises both belts in the air to loud boos. He has a cocky smirk on his face while doing so. Alfdogg laughs manically. Tha Puerto Rican has not moved since being hit with the Five Star Alf Splash through the table. Alf tells his fellow Deadly Alliance members something. They all laugh manically. COLE All four members of The Deadly Alliance currently hold gold here in the OAOAST, and if all four men are successful in their matches this Sunday at Zero Hour 2008, then you can make a case that The Deadly Alliance RULE the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Alfdogg stands in the center of the ring. Sandman9000 stands to his left, Thunderkid stands to Alfdogg's right, and Reject stands to Thunderkid's right. The Deadly Alliance stare at the crowd, and then they all stare at each other and nod. On cue, all four men raise their title belts into the air to LOUD boos! Thunderkid and Reject raising the OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Championship belts into the air, Sandman9000 raising the OAOAST Heartland Championship belt into the air, and Alfdogg raising the OAOAST United States Championship belt into the air with his left hand and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject and Sandman9000 smile evilly as they pose. COLE This could be what we see after Zero Hour! (CLIP) If Alfdogg does indeed hit the Five Star Alf Splash this Sunday night at Zero Hour, then we might just see the crowning of a new OAOAST Champion and the end of Tha Puerto Rican's World Heavyweight Championship reign! The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat unconscious in what's left of the table. The camera then cuts back to The Deadly Alliance posing with their belts (and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt). The camera cuts to a close-up of Alfdogg posing with the OAOAST United States Championship belt and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. The music changes again to high impact, fast paced, hard hitting classical music. We see a montage of moments from Tha Puerto Rican/Alfdogg feud as Alfdogg speaks from the September 4, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. ALF Now...let me tell you something PRL. You can't duck me anymore! This is MY ticket, this match is MY choice! So now...at Zero Hour...you have no choice but to come out of your hiding place, and step into the ring with Alfdogg! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking from the September 11, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. THA PUERTO RICAN Alfdogg, I welcome the challenge! You see, Alfdogg, I haven't been ducking you. I haven't been trying to avoid another one-on-one meeting between the two of us. It's just simply that you haven't asked for a shot! Oh sure, you've been making idle threats since April. But that's all they were. Idle threats. If you were a real man, you would have come up to me and said, 'P.R., I want a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!' You wanted a shot? You would have gotten it! But no. Instead, you attacked me at my most vulnerable and NEARLY got away with it if it weren't for the fact that I am just SOOOOOO much better than you, Alfdogg! Cut to Alfdogg speaking from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. ALF You have sunk the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! You have made it irrelevant! You have dragged down the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship down to your sad, pathetic level! But when I win back the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday, *I* will make it relevant again! *I* will make it MEAN something again! *I* will make it the center of attention! *I* will main event pay-per-views and HeldDOWN~!'s AND house shows! The reason people work their asses off in this company! The reason people watch our shows! EVERYTHING you did to destroy the honor, the integrity, and the PRESTIGE of the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship, I will GIVE BACK! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking on OAOAST.com's Byte Me from September 23, 2008. THA PUERTO RICAN I fear no man! Alfdogg is not gonna unseat me at Zero Hour! Oh no! Tha Puerto Rican will reign supreme once again, and that's the truth, Ruth! Cut to Alfdogg speaking from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. As he speaks, we see clips from past PRL/Alfdogg matches. ALF P.R., it is time to face facts. As you look ahead to this Sunday, you realize that you are way over your head. You have never gone face-to-face with me and beaten me. You are 0 and FOUR against me. Check the record books, P.R. You know that this is true. I have taken a belt away from you before, and this Sunday, when I improve my record to FIVE and ZERO against you, I will take another belt. And then, this farce of a Title reign can finally end! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking from the September 11, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. As he speaks, more clips from past PRL/Alfdogg matches are shown. THA PUERTO RICAN yes, you have beaten me before. But Tha Puerto Rican you beat for the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship is NOT, I repeat, NOT the same PRL that will step into the ring with you tonight AND at Zero Hour! This is a focused Puerto Rican, a determined Puerto Rican, and a Puerto Rican who stands before you today the MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING AND YOUR ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Cut to Alfdogg speaking from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. As he speaks more clips from the PRL-Alfdogg feud are shown. ALF You are a transitional Champion, P.R. A Champion only meant to keep the belt warm for someone who is actually WORTHY of it! You are the Ronnie Garvin of the One And Only AngleSault Thread, P.R.! You are a paper Champion! (CLIP) And this Sunday night, September 28th, 2008, think of it as our Election Day, and think of this Sunday night, September 28th, 2008, as the day that Tha Puerto Rican is IMPEACHED, and I am sworn in as the NEW UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! And on that day, I PROMISE YOU, that change WILL occur. Change for the better. Change that will affect the One And Only AngleSault Thread for a long time to come! The sun WILL rise again! Honor and integrity and prestige will be restored back to the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship. And the One And Only AngleSault Thread will become a better place for you, for me, and for everybody who works here from the wrestlers all the way down to the ring rats. It CAN happen. And it WILL happen. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking from the September 11, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. As he speaks more clips from the PRL-Alfdogg feud are shown. THA PUERTO RICAN Alf, don't let the past make you think that you have a bright future ahead of you! I see only storm clouds on the horizon, and come September 28th, the lightning will strike. And this time, it WILL hit you! Alfdogg, you are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare. Again. Cut to Alfdogg posing with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST United States Championship belt from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican staring at Alfdogg IN ANGER~! from the entrance stage from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to a close-up of Alfdogg staring at Tha Puerto Rican from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican staring at Alfdogg from the September 25, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. The high impact, fast paced, hard hitting classical music ends. The camera cuts to a black screen. 0 The following words appear on screen in the style of the 24 opening. There is silence. HAVE WE HIT THE ZERO HOUR OF THA PUERTO RICAN'S OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN? FADE TO BLACK The OAOAST Zero Hour 2008 logo flashes across the screen. The camera cuts to the entryway, as Magnum Opus hits, and the lights go out. VENTURA Here we go! The lights come on, and Alfdogg walks through the curtains with the US title over his shoulder, to the boos of the crowd. COLE And here comes Alf, looking for his fourth World championship, a third OAOAST championship to go with his WDW World title reign! Alf banters with some fans on his way to the ring, then climbs inside and does is pose, as the wall of pyro goes on behind him. He then backs into a corner and hands the US title belt to the timekeeper, then looks down the aisle. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entryway and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. COLE The champ is here! VENTURA For now, Cole! Tonight is Alf's night, I'm telling you! The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and gives the fans The People's Eyebrow. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' cheers while "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands again. PR then hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his right fist into the air while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving cheers. He then jumps down and stands in the corner. *DING DING DING* BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...this is our MAIN EVENT of the evening...for the Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! *crowd cheers* BUFFER Introducing first, standing in the corner to my left. He hails from Anderson, Indiana, and weighs in at 236 1/2 pounds. This man is truly a legend of our sport, and tonight, he looks to climb back to the top of the mountain, and cement his Deadly Alliance as the most powerful force in the OAOAST. Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger...the REIGNING OAOAST United States champion...the leader of the Deadly Alliance...and a former three-time heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!! The crowd boos, as Alf raises his hands and turns to the crowd. BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent, standing in the corner to my right. He hails from San Juan, Puerto Rico and weighs in at 220 pounds! A win tonight would be a huge boost to a legacy rapidly being built by this man, looking to gain revenge for his friend, Colombian Heat, and looking to avenge a pinfall loss in a tag team match two and a half weeks ago. Ladies and gentlemen...introducing one-half of the Badd Boyz...the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUERRRRRRRRRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! PRL climbs back into his corner, and raises his hands again, as the crowd cheers loudly. BUFFER The introductions are through...now it's time for our main event. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Cleveland, Ohio...ARRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Cleveland...and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! The referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And here we go. PRL and Alf slowly walk to the center of the ring, and stare down, showered by flashbulbs. After a brief trash-talking session, Alf drives a knee into the gut. COLE Alf striking first, and backing PRL into the ropes! Alf slugs PRL against the ropes, then whips him across. However, PRL slides under the legs of Alf, then hits him with a dropkick! PRL backs Alf into a corner, and slugs away at him, then whips him across, following him in with a Stinger Splash! COLE But PRL answers with authority! PRL follows up with a Russian Legsweep! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! PRL backs Alf into another corner, and then climbs on the middle rope, and punches away as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! PRL jumps down, then backs Alf into the ropes. He backs across the ring, and charges Alf, but Alf delivers a HIGH backdrop all the way to the floor! VENTURA Yeah! COLE PRL all the way to the outside, a big fall for the champ! Alf catches his breath in the ring, then follows him outside, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then lifts PRL up in a bearhug, then rams him into the ring apron, before rolling back inside. Alf lets PRL roll back inside, and stomps away, before picking him up, setting him up in the corner, and delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COLE Alf really going to work with those chops, maybe the best chops in the business! Alf brings PRL out of the corner, and executes a snap suplex! He follows up with a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf stomps PRL several times! Alf applies a headlock on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Alfdogg now slowing down the match with a headlock! Alf cinches the hold tight. Referee Earl Hebner checks on PRL. COLE Alfdogg in control, looking to become a three-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion here tonight! VENTURA And he will get it done! I can feel it! Alf has PRL on the mat with the headlock. PRL pulls on Alfdogg's hair, but Earl Hebner stops him from doing so. ALFDOGG IT'S ALL OVER, P.R.! IT'S ALL OVER! COLE Have we hit the Zero Hour of Tha Puerto Rican's OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign? JESSE Yes. PRL slowly stands up, still trapped in the headlock. But the headlock ends soon as P.R. turns the headlock into a wristlock! But Alf grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his Puerto Rican flag bandana and slams him back onto the mat! Alf goes back to the headlock! COLE Oh come on! VENTURA Doing what he has to do to win, Schiavone! I mean, Cole! Alf cinches the headlock on tight. Tha Puerto Rican struggles just to move his arms while trapped in the dreaded headlock. Earl Hebner checks on PRL. The referee lifts PRL's left arm into the air. It stays up. So Alf cinches the hold even tighter, and PR's arm falls to the mat! VENTURA He is on fire! He is white hot! This man is hot! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is indeed. I agree with you. VENTURA You bet...NO! I'm talking about Alfdogg! Don't you ever pay attention to me!? COLE I drift in and out. Tha Puerto Rican slowly sits up on the mat, still in the headlock. PRL starts to stand up, with Alfdogg refusing to let go of the headlock. The crowd starts clapping in unison, trying to get Tha Puerto Rican back into the match! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican again. PRL keeps trying to get back to his feet, but Alfdogg cinches the hold, bringing PRL back to his knees! Eventually, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion is able to get to a vertical base while still trapped in the headlock. PRL elbows Alfdogg in the gut! He then elbows Alf in the gut again! A third one finally breaks the headlock. Tha Puerto Rican quickly rushes towards the ropes and bounces off of them, building speed--but gets hit right in the face with an Alfdogg dropkick! COLE And just as quickly as he lost control, Alfdogg has regained it! VENTURA Alfdogg showing he is one step ahead of Tha Puerto Rican right there! P.R. clutches his face while Alfdogg recovers on the mat. Alf quickly rushes over and covers PRL, hooking both legs. ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT!!! COLE Only two for Alfdogg! Alf glares at the referee, but Earl Hebner asserts that it was only a two count. Alf sneers at PR, and then picks him up. Backbreaker! Cover! It gets a two count! Alf gets up and starts stomping PRL. Alf picks Tha Puerto Rican up and whips him into a turnbuckle corner. Alfdogg charges forward, but Tha Puerto Rican kicks him in the face! Alf stumbles, so PRL charges forward and grabs Alf by the head, giving him a Bulldog onto the mat! COLE Alfdogg ran right into that one! VENTURA He’ll recover! He always does! PRL takes a moment to catch his breath, and then gets up. He picks Alfdogg up by his hair. Tha Puerto Rican gives Alfdogg a bodyslam! Immediately the crowd stands up and cheers. COLE That's the signal! It could be time! Tha Puerto Rican smiles and nods his head as he exits the ring. Tha Puerto Rican takes a deep breath, and then climbs the top rope. Alfdogg lies on the mat breathing hard. Tha Puerto Rican is hunched over on the top rope. The crowd buzzes in anticipation. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is ready for one of his trademark moves! VENTURA Come on! Come on! Get out of the way, Alfdogg! Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd and smiles again. He stands up, looks down at Alfdogg, and then takes another deep breath. Tha Puerto Rican leaps off of the top rope, does the "Up yours!" hand gesture in mid-air...and then hits Alfdogg in the chest with The People's Elbow Drop to a loud pop from the fans! COLE The People's Elbow Drop! Vintage PRL! Is this it!? Tha Puerto Rican covers Alfdogg. 1! 2! RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE Close fall for the World Heavyweight Champion! VENTURA Thank God! PRL mutters, "Damn!" under his breath. He rests for a bit as Alfdogg lies on the mat. P.R. then gets up. He nails Alfdogg with some shaky leg kicks! VENTURA Come on Alfdogg! PRL picks Alfdogg up. He lays into him with some Rock-style punches to the temple! Puerto then grabs Alfdogg by his left hand, and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, Alfdogg ducks the clothesline, bounces off of the ropes and charges forward hitting Tha Puerto Rican with a flying back elbow! The crowd boos! VENTURA Yes! That a boy, Alfdogg! COLE And Alfdogg strikes big with a flying back elbow to Tha Puerto Rican! Alfdogg quickly covers PRL, hooking his right leg. 1... 2... 3--KICK OUT!!! VENTURA I thought that was it! He almost had him! ALMOST had him! COLE Tha Puerto Rican kicked out! He was quite possibly a half a second away from losing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! VENTURA That was luck right there, Cole! Luck, plain and simple! But PRL's luck is about to run out! Alf picks up PRL and punches him in the face several times! The punches take PRL into a turnbuckle corner. Alfdogg hits PRL in the face with the point of his right elbow! He punches PRL in the face several more times! Alf whips PRL hard into the corner. PRL sinks to his knees, then Alf pulls him off, whipping him across again, then taking him off his feet with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! VENTURA Alf is in total control of this match, Cole! I keep telling you, we're going to see a new World champion tonight! Alf stomps away at PRL until he rolls to the outside, then follows him out and slugs away with right hands. He then sets him up, and whips him into the steel steps! COLE And PRL tasting the steel on the outside! Alf rolls inside, and poses, drawing boos. VENTURA Haha! COLE The champ is in big trouble, I must admit! PRL climbs to the apron, and Alf hooks him, lifting him in a suplex, then holding him for a few seconds before dropping him to the mat! VENTURA Beautiful suplex, this is it! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Alf whips PRL hard into the corner again, then stalks over to him, with a smirk on his face. He delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! PRL responds with a right hand! COLE But look at PRL respond! Alf hooks PRL and backs him into the corner again. VENTURA Yeah, but he's just running on fumes here, Cole! It's only a matter of time! Alf delivers another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! PRL with another right hand! Alf backs PRL up again, then delivers a third CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! PRL fires back with a right hand, then unleashes a fury of rights, but Alf delivers a thumb to the eye! VENTURA Great counter move by Alf there! COLE Alf whips PRL across, but puts his head down, and PRL hooks him, then drops him with a Cradle DDT! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! Nice move by PRL, and that could be enough to turn the tide! VENTURA Well, Alf made a cardinal error there, he put his head down! Both men are down on the mat, as the referee begins a count. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! PRL sits up, then Alf turns to his side. Alf pulls himself up using the ropes, then goes after PRL, who catches him with a LATIN SLAM~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! PRL gets to his feet, and floors Alf with a clothesline! He follows that up with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! COLE DODGE THIS, BITCH~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! PRL lets Alf get to his feet. He goes to pick him up, and gets poked in the eyes! Alf punches PRL repeatedly. Alfdogg then gives P.R. an Irish whip into the ropes…PRL reverses, Alfdogg bounces off of the ropes, right into a SPINEBUSTER from Tha Puerto Rican! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Here we go! VENTURA Come on! Come on! Move! Move! Move! Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd, and then stands over Alfdogg, where he proceeds to then kick Alfdogg’s right arm onto his chest. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and then throws it into the crowd. PRL then does some weird hand signal, and then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Alfdogg, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It is now time for The Most Electrifying Move In Professional Wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, stops in his tracks, does Alfdogg's pose...and then drops The Puerto Rico Elbow onto Alfdogg! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH!" COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL with The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican covers Alfdogg, hooking his right leg. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! No! No! Only 2! Only a 2 count! VENTURA Thank God! Thank God! The crowd is disappointed that that wasn't the finish. "THAT WAS THREE!" "THAT WAS THREE!" "THAT WAS THREE!" "THAT WAS THREE!" COLE The crowd showing their disappointment that that wasn't a 3 count! VENTURA Alfdogg won't let a nothing move like The Puerto Rico Elbow stop him! No sir! Nothing's gonna stop Alfdogg now! PRL is on his hands and knees catching his breath. PRL stands up, slowly, and picks Alfdogg up. PRL measures Alfdogg, and then hits him with several Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Alfdogg goes down! Alfdogg gets back up quickly. PRL takes a few steps back towards the ropes, then clotheslines Alfdogg to the floor! COLE And Alf sent to the outside! Alf staggers around on the outside, then turns around to see PRL coming down onto him with a PESCADO~! COLE PRL flies! PRL delivers right hands on the floor, then picks up Alf, and rams his face into the steel steps! COLE And PRL unleashing the aggression now! PRL sets Alf up, and executes a suplex on the floor! PRL looks out to the people, who cheer in response. Tha Puerto Rican "smells the electricity" inside of the arena. COLE And listen to the people! PRL tosses Alf back inside, then ascends the top rope...and hits Alf with THE PEOPLE'S AX~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets his shoulder up! VENTURA But look at Alf! How bad does he want it, Cole? COLE No doubt Alf wants it bad, but so does PRL, who is in control right now! PRL gets to his feet, then floors Alf with a flying forearm, then KIPS UP~! COLE And PRL is setting him up! PRL goes into the corner, stomps his feet...then spots Thunderkid running to the ring, and climbing onto the apron! VENTURA And here comes the cavalry! PRL knocks TK back off the apron with SWEET CHIN MUSIC~! COLE But Thunderkid got caught! Sandman9000 sneaks around the apron in the meantime, as PRL picks up Alf...and drives him with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111 COLE HE GOT IT! Cover... 1... 2... ...Sandman9000 reaches in and pulls PRL to the outside! COLE But Sandman9000 prevents the fall! Get him out of here! PRL goes after Sandman, as the referee yells at them, and Sandman leads PRL on a chase around the ring, passing Alf a set of brass knuckles along the way! COLE And now Sandman9000 just passed something in to Alf! VENTURA Oh, I didn't see that, Schiavone! COLE He did it as he was running around the ring! Sandman9000 rolls inside, distracting the referee, as TK reaches in and revives Alf. Sandman hops out of the ring as he sees PRL coming, who then makes his way back to Alf as the referee yells at Sandman9000. PRL starts to pick him up...but Alf drills him with a shot from the brass knuckles! COLE And PRL got hit! VENTURA This is definitely it! Alf drops the knucks off the apron, where TK picks them up. Alf then drags himself to PRL... 1... 2... 3!!! NO!!! PRL gets the shoulder up! VENTURA I don't believe this! COLE The champ isn't done yet! Alf throws a tantrum in the ring, then confronts the referee. He then picks up PRL, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! VENTURA And now Alf's setting it up! Alf follows with a T-BONE SUPLEX~!! Alf then picks up PRL, and lifts him in a fireman's carry, and spins him around...but PRL lands on his feet! He sends a kick to the gut, then hooks in a front facelock! COLE Here it is again! But Alf executes a double leg trip... VENTURA No! ...and hooks PRL in the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 VENTURA Here it is, Cole! COLE Sharpshooter applied! We could see the title change hands right here! Alf cinches back on the hold, as PRL yells in pain. VENTURA Look at the pain on his face, Michael Cole! PRL inches towards the ropes, almost reaching them, before Alf pulls him back out to the center! COLE And look at this, back in the middle! PRL's hand hovers inches above the mat, as he continues his cries of pain. VENTURA He's gonna give it up, Michael! PRL moves his hand to his head, then puts it on the mat, dragging himself to the ropes one last time...and grabbing the bottom rope! COLE PRL made it! The referee counts Alf, who breaks at the four-count. Alf picks up PRL, and lifts him for a scoop-slam...but PRL slips behind the back, and hits him with SWEET CHIN MUSIC~! COLE Superkick from PRL! PRL slowly gets to his feet, then hooks the front facelock again...but Alf spins out behind, and hooks him, driving him with a COBRA CLUTCH FACEBUSTER~!!! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! PRL gets the shoulder up! COLE And once again, PRL with the shoulder out of there! What a match! Alf angrily goes to the outside, and grabs a steel chair. COLE And now right in front of the referee, Alf with a steel chair! Alf sizes up PRL, then makes his move! He brings the chair down...but PRL moves out of the way, and the chair bounces off the ropes, and hits Alf in the face! COLE Look at that! Alf then stumbles backwards over PRL, who presses his legs down to the mat! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* VENTURA COLE HE GOT HIM! PRL has retained his World title! BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUERRRRRRRRRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! VENTURA Well, like I always say, it's better to be lucky than good, Cole! COLE PRL, ever the opportunist, capitalizing on the situation, and he has defeated Alfdogg and retained his World heavyweight championship! The referee presents PRL his belt, but Alf attacks from behind! VENTURA It's not over yet, Cole! COLE Come on, get Alf out of the ring! Alf whips PRL into the ropes, but PRL ducks a clothesline, and hits Alf with a flying forearm! PRL then picks up his title belt, and decks Alf over the head with it, sending him flying over the top rope! Alf stumbles down the aisle, as Know Your Role 2000 plays, and PRL celebrates in the ring with his belt. COLE Another classic match to close out the night here at Zero Hour, as PRL retains his World Heavyweight championship! Folks, for The Coach and The Body, I'm Michael Cole, we'll see you this Thursday on HeldDOWN~! PRL stands on the buckles and holds the belt into the camera as we... FADE TO BLACK Edited September 30, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2008 (edited) ZERO HOUR 2008 A OAOAST Entertainment Production DIRECTED BY Patricia O'Green WRITTEN BY Alfdogg King Cucaracha Anthony149 Dr. Zoidberg MD Patricia O'Green Zachary Malibu Edward Wood Caulfield GRAPHICS Patricia O'Green OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Anthony149 Anglesault © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved. Edited September 30, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
