Bombsters Bullshit News #9

[Guest Rob Edwards]

My users show tends to go down well at wrestlezone so lets see what you guys think to it

 

 

Hello I'm Adam Bomb and welcome to the comeback edition of Bombsters Bullshit News, a lot of people have been asking about our absence but let me be the first to clarify that it had absolutley NOTHING to do with me sleeping with the producers wife behind his back and this me....Wait a sec, why is asshole written on the lens of camera number one with an arrow pointing in my direction? Can someone rub that out please? Thankyou, Onto news story one then our producer is an immature asshole

 

Scene Fades

 

Scene Comes Back

 

Well now our producer has been fired maybe we can get on with the show huh? Great

 

Our top story tonight is the discovery of a dinosaur in the North Carolina area the dinosaur known as the Hardysaurus was discovered by young brothers Matt and Jeff Hardy as they were out playing in their back yard. Matt said "We were building a den out back when we discovered this like bone thing initially I thought it was like a ramp or somethin amd Jeff was all like "rad" but then our Pop came outside and figured it was a bone and I was like dude not cool"

The speciman was taken away for research where the scientists discovered that the Dinosaur had been eaten by a dinosaur discovered the week before known as Edgesaurus Rex. On hearing this news Jeff burst into tears saying "I hate that Edge punk he's always stealing my lemonlight, I mean limelight first he grows a pube before me then he dies my hair funny colours and now this, when will it end? WHEN WILL IT END?" Edge had this to say "I am like so better than that Jeff Hardy kid, You notice how skinny he is? I get his lunch money every day man, noone can stop me not even that Reverend D-Von guy who calls me immoral, he won't be laughing when I clone my dinosaur and get it to eat him and then open my new attraction called Jeff Hardy is an assic Park will he"We did not have any kind of answer to this so we left it there"

 

Now theres a story you can get your teeth into, why is nobody laughing? are you holding up the laughter card Bob? So why is noone laughing? Whaddya mean noones here? Do you know how popular I am ah sod this go to commercial

 

"Are you tired of being a skinny weed?, Spike was just look at this footage of him on holiday relaxing, but whats this? a big bully just kicked sand in his face"

 

"Ahh you kicked sand in my face"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothin"

 

"See thats the kind of problem weeds can have on holiday, but this wrong can be righted with the use of the exercisertron 10,000 yes in just 10 seconds per day for 1 week you can put on masses of muscle lets see if Spike has the same problem now"

 

"Hey you just kicked sand in the face of me and my Hulkamaniacs bruddah"

"What are you going to do about it"

"No what are you going to do when Hulkamania, i mean Spikeamainia runs wild on you bruddah, i got the largest pythons in the world and I owe it all to the exerxistron 10,000"

 

"Wow just look at that transformation, and it could happen to you folks order your Exerxistron 10,000 now and you'll get a free bag of sand to kick in a wimps face next time you go to the beach"

 

and wouldn't that make the world better for all of us dear viewers? Welcome back people lets uncover some more untruths from the world of wrestling

 

X-Pac's younger brother Tex Pack finally cracked today after being booed and heckled out of yet another job, within 5 minutes of being employed at Luchadore Foods Inc the chants had started, the chant of choice was apparently "Tex Pack sucks" although "Tex Pack blows" and "Tex Pack sucks X-Pac" were also reported to be popular choices amongst the workforce, even doing small everyday things such as catching the bus are resulting into hecklefests for poor Tex these days. Tex Spoke with our interviewer CCB earlier today

 

CCB "So tex I've heard you've been having problems recentley"

 

Tex "Damn right man I can't go anywhere witho.."

 

CCB "Poodle Perm"

 

Tex "Huh like I said I can't go anywhere without being insulted it's li.."

 

CCB "You suck, jackass"

 

Tex "It's like being on holiday with Shawn Michaels I can.."

 

CCB "Asshole"

 

Tex "I can't take it anymore"

 

CCB "Get off my camera you loser"

 

Well wasn't that a fair and even handed interview people and anybody who doubts that hecklefests is a word is advised to check a dictionary dammit joining me now is Tex's brother X. So X you must feel pretty sorry for your brother?

 

X "Not really he blows"

 

Bomb "Isn't that something you have in common"

 

X "No i'm underpushed you know"

 

Bomb "Oh you mean like HHH is?"

 

X "What are you talking about HHH is well pushed"

 

Bomb "Thats my point"

 

X "Whats your point?"

 

Bomb "That X-Pac sucks"

 

X "I don't suck I'm super over, the bronco buster gets a huge pop"

 

An X-Pac sucks chant goes up in the studio

 

Well people this noise is too deafening to conduct an interview and I've got a meeting scheduled with my drug dealer to discuss credit so we'll see you next time

 

 

Post your feedback below please

[Guest One Bad Apple]

What in the heck ... ?

[Guest Rob Edwards]

Heh! It's just a show I do over at Wrestlezone but since I registered here I thought I'd try it out on a smark clientele! Seems you have more refined taste than the WZ rabble so far!

[Guest One Bad Apple]

Seems you have more refined taste than the WZ rabble so far!

But I hate it.

[Guest Rob Edwards]

I didn't force you to read it

[Guest One Bad Apple]

No they didn't. But that doesn't change the fact that I hate it, or the fiction that I love it.

 

I know it's gonna be a little hard to swallow that your "Tex Pack" skit wasn't the comic gem you thought it was ... but give it a try anyway.

[Guest Rob Edwards]

Meh some people elsewhere seemed to like it. It's not my best idea ever though. One mans junk is another mans treasure I guess. How else can you explain crap like freinds being so popular?!

[Guest -Cutthroat-]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....