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Smartly Pretty

It's Yom Kippur!

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You can't wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur, for some reason. This would seem to leave the door open for leather jackets, hats, any sort of bondage gear, etc. Just no shoes. What gives?

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For real? That's a bit odd.

 

My job is super dead today as we reside in some pretty Jew-heavy 'hoods and nobody feels like shopping today. Good for my message boarding, bad for my wallet.

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For true. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Things you can't do on Yom Kippur if you're Jewish:

 

1. Eating and drinking

2. Wearing leather shoes

3. Bathing/washing

4. Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions

5. Sexual relations

 

Seems a little out of place. I don't think I could do religion even if I tried.

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With whom? This argument intrigues me. Also, I wanted to use a Simpsons line, but it's essentially been used, even if not directly.

 

Oh crap! I forgot it was today, and made an off-the-cuff Jew joke. I'll tell it tomorrow, when my guilt can subside a little.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fuck it, I'll tell it now. An outing at Boston Pizza was suggested tomorrow, wherein I said they should change the name to "Jerusalem Pizza, since clearly Jews run it; why else would prices be so high?"

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Smartly Pretty, are you actually Jewish like, as a religion?

 

Not really, but I observe these things because it makes my parents happy. I broke my fast today at about 5 though, which is a little early. I don't even think the sun has actually set quite yet.

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Guest C*Z*E*C*H

I'm only part Jewish, and I haven't officially converted yet, so I fasted for most-not-all of the day and sat around feeling terrible about what a shithead I've been for the last year, to my parents, to my friends, to my message board acquaintances, how I failed to even make it through 24 stinking hours without getting something to drink knowing that my spiritual standing hung in the balance, and resolved that I'm going to make some serious changes in my life. This is basically what I do every day, skip meals, feel guilty, and plan to do something about it. Next year, though.

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Guest Smues

It's Yom Kippur Charlie Brown! would be a good special.

 

Especially if made by the mostoffensivevideo.com guys.

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Guest Vitamin X
Would masturbation be considered sexual relations?

 

No, but it could be 'Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions'.

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I'm only part Jewish, and I haven't officially converted yet, so I fasted for most-not-all of the day and sat around feeling terrible about what a shithead I've been for the last year, to my parents, to my friends, to my message board acquaintances, how I failed to even make it through 24 stinking hours without getting something to drink knowing that my spiritual standing hung in the balance, and resolved that I'm going to make some serious changes in my life. This is basically what I do every day, skip meals, feel guilty, and plan to do something about it. Next year, though.

 

If you haven't hung yourself by May of 2010... I'll be truly shocked.

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