Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 (edited) EARLIER TODAY MEL Do you dare me to pour Windex into my eyes? MARV Yes. MEL AH! I BURN! MARV PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY ACTUALLY THIS EPISODE IS PRETTY TAME aight boys I just be frontin on a dude last week. Here's the real theme song, OMG HIJACK TONY I'M PULLIN' RANK ON YOUR WHORE ASS! FUCK THE FAKERS! I'LL KICK THEM ALL IN THE DICK, AND RAPE THEIR BITCH WIVES, JUST LIKE NUMBER 24! COLE Welcome to HeldDOWN everyone! Tonight's show features a mainevent for the number one contender for PRL's world title! Landon Maddix missed out on his chance at a guaranteed world title shot at Angleslam, but he could make up for that with a victory tonight. Or Alfdogg could finally bring world title gold back to the Deadly Alliance. Might Brickston pull off an upset? Or could it be Bohemoth on the cusp of greatness for so long, finally getting his world title chance? Can you imagine that, Coach? Bohemoth Vs PRL for the world title? What a match! Right? COACH Nurse: You've got to call it Doctor: Time of death - October 9th, 11:05 PM Nurse: I'll contact Mister Monyemaker and the board and notify them of the OAOAST's passing. COLE Well, there's another HeldDOWN ruined within the first 45 seconds. COACH Crap. I was trying for thirty seconds. I should've worn a visible nipple ring. by Kansas hits, and The Deadly Alliance starts through the curtains, with Alfdogg leading the way, followed by Sandman9000, Thunderkid, and Reject, with Melissa Nerdly on his arm. COLE And here comes the Deadly Alliance, Coach, and look at this sight! Cole says this as the camera focuses in on Reject and Melissa, laughing and grinning evilly. COACH Yeah, it's a thing of beauty, isn't it? I haven't seen Reject this happy in weeks, it warms my heart! COLE Of course, Reject last week defeating Leon Rodez in that steel cage match, thanks in part to the woman who now accompanies him, Melissa Nerdly! What must the Nerdly family be thinking right now, seeing one of their own, arm-in-arm with Reject, who has sent two of this, and I use this term loosely, two of this woman's sisters to the hospital? COACH Well, you and I obviously have seen this story a whole lot differently! I, for one, commend Melissa for seeing through the lies of her sisters and realizing that Reject was the victim here! Reject was the one who was lied to and backstabbed by Maggie, she drove him to this! COLE Well, those absurdly ignorant comments notwithstanding, it all culminated in last week's cage match, where the trap was sprung by Reject and Maggie's older sister, Melissa, and here we are now! Alf enters the ring, and grabs a mic. COLE And here is Alfdogg, who will earn another chance at the World title should he win tonight's Fatal 4-way! ALF You know, this has got to be some kind of joke. The OAOAST is just trying to jinx the Deadly Alliance, dragging us through all these loser cities! *crowd boos* ALF First we have to go to Phoenix, then we spend over a week in Ohio, now Virginia? What's so special about this place? Certainly not their choke artist college football programs! *crowd boos* ALF But enough about that. I'm out here to respond to the absurd ruling made last week by our President, Josie Baker. Booking a Fatal 4-way match as tonight's main event? What a travesty! Everyone here knows that I, and I alone, should have that shot at Tha Puerto Rican at the Halloween Spectacular! *crowd boos* ALF And if that wasn't enough...look at my opponents in this match! Brickston?!? We're talking about a guy who, at AngleSlam, was pinned 12 times in less than an hour! Hasn't even been seen or heard from since, and he just walks on TV and gets another chance? Give me a break! And Vitamin X, Prince Vitamin, whatever you want to call yourself...no offense, I love your dad's cereal... This incites laughter from the crowd. ALF But after tonight, you two may BOTH know what it's like to be in retirement, as in a retirement HOME, after I'm finished wiping the mat with you two jobbers. *mixed reaction* ALF Now then...Landon Maddix. *mixed reaction* ALF Turns out I do have some worthy competition in this match. Even though he cheated like a dog, he has pinned my shoulders to the mat, and didn't have to depend on phony rope breaks, or me hitting myself with a chair. *crowd boos* ALF However, Landon...that means that I own you one. And oh, what you said last week! The lowest drawing champion ever! Oh boy, aren't we clever, REAL original! Let me tell you something, punk...the last person to use that line against me...was Colombian Heat! *crowd boos* ALF And where's he at now? Oh, that's right, he's in the hospital, recuperating, never again to be the same human being. *crowd boos* ALF Don't think the Deadly Alliance won't leave you the same way. And who does that leave? The crowd starts to anticipate the name of the Metrosexual Monster. ALF Oh, that's right, that leaves your precious Bohemoth! *crowd cheers* ALF From rapist to World title contender in six weeks' time...only in the OAOAST! *crowd boos* ALF Didn't we have this match once before? Me against Bohemoth? I seem to recall such a match! And from my memory, it was not ME that was left a bloody mess in the middle of this ring! *crowd boos* COLE And it wasn't Bo that had the luxury of a barbed wire bat in his possession, either! COACH Can it. ALF And tonight, I just may make it happen again. Now then...something much bigger happened last week...I'll let the R-Man tell you all about it. Alf hands off the mic to Reject, as the crowd boos. REJECT You're absolutely right, Alf. Because last week, I took Leon Rodez, and I left him bloodied and beaten inside that steel cage. *crowd boos* REJECT I have finally cleansed my self of this whole Leon Rodez story. And I don't mean cleansed in a Nerdly sister sense...(looks down at Melissa)...those girls will never be "cleansed", if you know what I mean. Melissa laughs, as the crowd boos. REJECT But now...I can finally move on. I have gained my retribution...and that chapter of my career is finally closed. *crowd boos* COACH Yeah! REJECT Now, my focus can go to being one-half of the World tag team champions...one half of the greatest tag team this sport has ever seen. And...my focus can go to you, baby. Reject looks Maggie in the face while saying his last line, then hands her the mic. MELISSA That's right. Did you people really think that *I* was trying to scheme after Leon? You really thought I was excited about meeting up with him in that hotel room? Give me a break! The crowd boos, as Melissa walks back over to Reject, rubbing his stomach and chest with her left hand. MELISSA And by the way, we'll leave it up to your imagination as to what happened in that room after that camera cut out. *smiles* COLE Ow! Hey, what do you have your pencil down there for? COACH ...that's not my pencil. COLE MELISSA You see, this thing has been in the works for the last two months. When I saw the way that my little sister treated this man, walked all over him, used him...it made me sick to my stomach. So it was me who came to him, gave him a shoulder to lean on. And I was the person who kept this man from TOTALLY going over the edge! You remember the way he intruded on your precious little niece last week, Leon? It's because of ME that your niece does not share a hospital room with your girlfriend as we speak! *crowd boos* MELISSA We didn't need to harm her. We needed to save all that negative energy, to unleash on you, Leon. And when I raised my arm up and struck you between those perpetually-open legs of yours...that was the best feeling of BOTH of our lives. Not only that...if I'm to believe a couple of my sisters, I was aiming for a pretty small target! The crowd gives a "OH NO YOU DI'INT" type reaction, as the DA breaks into laughter in the ring. MELISSA Reject was nothing but a gentleman to my sister. But in the land of the OAOAST, where these people cheer for adulterers, rapists, cradle-robbers, and absentee mothers...you BOOED Reject. *crowd boos* MELISSA Well, guess what? Maggie...karma is exactly like you...a no-good, rotten BITCH. Melissa laughs, then drops the mic as The Wall plays and the DA departs. COACH Truer words, Cole, they have never been uttered! COLE I'm...just in shock at this transformation of Melissa Nerdly. COACH Weren't you listening, Cole? There was no transformation! Melissa was always by Reject's side, just like Reject was by Maggie's, before she double-crossed him! COLE Well, Reject may have declared this war over, but I think he's sorely mistaken! Edited October 10, 2008 by alfdogg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 From the arena we go backstage, to find the troubled figure of Leon Rodez roaming the hallways. Head down and avoiding the various OAOAST workers he passes on his way, Leon suddenly comes to a stop, as he finds who he's looking for apparantly. There stands Landon Maddix, busy talking over strategy with Megan Skye ahead of his match tonight in what was a secluded part of the arena. Megan quickly points Leon out and Landon turns around to face him. MADDIX Something you want? LEON Easy. I just came to speak to Megan. MADDIX Oh, really? Well, I hate to break it to you hot stuff, but although the name begins with the right letter, she's not a Nerdly, so your charms aren't gonna work on her. Doing his best to ignore the wide grin on Landon's face, Leon lets the insult go. LEON Look, after last week there's some things I need to do to put my mind at rest. And I know a few weeks ago, Reject got to you and hit you with the Eulogy. I know we've never gotten along, but that's not important. None of this mess would have ever come to pass if it wasn't for me and Maggie falling out and... you got caught in the crossfire, so I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened to you. Megan takes a dubious look at Landon, who starts to chuckle under his breath. MEGAN The Eulogy? Who cares!? That was weeks ago. Give me some credit. I'm a lot tougher than the bimbos that you associate yourself with. MADDIX Yeah that's right, you bimbo associator! Go take your damaged little conscience elsewhere and find somebody who might give a damn for your pity. That is if any other female in this company will even give you the time of day anymore. And, a little word of advice, after watching your match last week. If you're within three feet, you might want to keep those knees close tight together. You know... just incase. Chuckling to himself again Landon wraps an arm around Megan and takes her to find another place to discuss their match in private. Leon is left standing with hands on hips, looking sorrier for himself than he did before. #It's too late to 'pologize... it's too laaaatteeee... said it's to late to apolo...# Leon slowly turns and glares, as a few feet away stands ALIX MARIA SPEZIA outside a dressing room door. Moving her hand up and down in the air trying to find her 'range', she suddenly notices she's being stared at and her eyebrows raise. ALIX Oh... uh, sorry, I'll go practise somewhere else. Quickly she ducks back into the dressing room, leaving Leon to go back to his hands on hips state. ALIX (off-screen) #Oh, I like your mother so much better when she's naked, I like your mother so much better when she's naked, I like your mothe...# JADE (off-screen) Will you stop singing that at me!? COACH Ha, Leon straight stays getting burned! Whack this guy in a straightjacket and lock him away before the depression gets any worse! COLE Have you got no compassion? All Leon was trying to do was apologize for what happened to Megan a few weeks back. COACH Yeah well, if he's thinking of apologizing to everybody he needs to, he's in for a long ass night. He might wanna start with the girlfriend he's on a trial separation with, maybe that'd be a good idea. COLE I think it''d be a good idea if we took a break! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 (edited) Backstage, we find Jade Rodez-Duncan, stood at the door of the In Crowd locker room. There on the other side of the divide is none other than Zack Malibu, in mid-conversation, while Jade leans up against the door frame nervously rubbing a hand up and down her right shoulder. MALIBU - but listen, you know all about what they're like, right? JADE Uh... you could say that, uh-huh. MALIBU Well don't worry, things are gonna start turning around here real soon, and for the better, I can promise you that. Look, if you're busy I can always pass a message on to Leon when he shows up, get him to come find you. JADE Oh no, no, it wasn't Leon I came to see actually. MALIBU Oh? JADE Yeah... uhm... look, can I... Before Jade can finish, in the back of the shot we see BOHEMOTH walking past, setting his bag down next to a folding chair. JADE I actually came to speak to Bo. May I? MALIBU Go right ahead. Zack lets Jade past and decides to head off himself, as a clearly still nervous Jade makes her way in. Putting down his copy of Muscle and Fitness, Bohemoth looks up and flicks his shades up over his head as Jade comes to a stop. BOHEMOTH Hey Jade, what's up? JADE Oh, uh... nothing much. Listen, can... can we talk? BOHEMOTH Sure we can, you know I'm always happy to lend an ear. Lemme guess, Maya hogging one of your fourteen bathrooms again? JADE Well, something like that... actually, no, nothing like that... uhm... listen, I just wanted to come and ask you... what you thought, about... uh... The Lions firing Matt Millen? Raising a curious eyebrow, Bohemoth looks up at Jade. BOHEMOTH The Lions? JADE Yeah. We don't have a team in LA and Mom doesn't really approve of football anyway, maybe because LA doesn't have a team like I said earlier, so I'm sticking with them, but it's not really something I can talk to her about is it? Heh. BOHEMOTH Well, I guess I figure it's about time. What about you? JADE Me? Ohh... oh, yeah, he was the worst. Couldn't call a play if he was... an announcer at the theatre? BOHEMOTH Probably not. Leon's more of an expert on the Lions than me though, maybe you oughta take it up with him. JADE Yeah, maybe. Anyway, thank you. BOHEMOTH No problem. Jade turns to leave, but stops. Gritting her teeth she can be seen mumbling something to herself, possibly words of encouragement as she forces herself to turn back around and get Bo's attention away from his muscle mag once more. JADE Uh, there was one more teensy thing. BOHEMOTH Shoot. JADE Well... look, I was thinking that... maybe one day, after the show... you and me could... uhm, you know... go out sometime? I mean it doesn't have to be tonight or anything and really any time that you're not doing anything else would be fine I just thought it might be nic... BOHEMOTH Hang on a second, hold up. *stands up* Are you asking me what I think you're asking me? Jade sorta nods. Only sorta. BOHEMOTH Oh man. Listen, Jade, don't take this the wrong way or anything but, you and me? You're a really sweet girl, but, that's the thing. You're a sweet girl. It just wouldn't work. Hell, we've been friends for something like two years now and I know you probably think that since we get on so well, that's the next step. But it's not how it works. I guess I should be flattered you've got a crush on me... but that's all it is. Okay? Sadly, Jade hangs her head, managing to give another of her 'sorta nods'. BOHEMOTH Listen, I'm sorry. We're still friends, right? JADE Of course we are. It's just me being silly, that's all. I don't know what even gave me the idea, heh! BOHEMOTH So we're cool? JADE Cool as a... ice! I guess one half-decent metaphor is as much as you can hope for in one segment. Anyway, Jade puts on a smile as she leaves the locker room, only breaking once her back is definately turned to Bohemoth. We hear hurried footsteps scurrying off as Bohemoth just sighs, shaking his head as he goes back to his magazine. COLE Don't say anything, Coach. COACH About what? COLE You know. COACH What? What? What do you think I'm gonna say? I'm curious. I'm seriously curious. COLE Something like "The simps here be like Brandon Fraiser in Bedazzled, trynna sell they soul to the devil to wish her mother wasn't a lesbian. A dude woulda rather suck the sweat off his daddy's ball sack before he ever turned down a date with Krista. This bitch can't even get a date with a dude who looks like his spray on tan is Sunny Delight. Dude got a triangle head. He got a pyramid head with the all seeing eye at the tip. That ugly wrinkly orange muthafucca should have been in the car biggie got shot in. Let the late great veteran live. Her mama dating a girl who used to model for Victoria's Secret, and that ho can't turn a trick on ol conehead? TOUGH BREAK BITCH!" COACH Uh.....time for a commercial? COLE Yes. Time for a commercial. COMMERCIAL Edited October 10, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 The hip sounds of Thriller by Fall Out Boy drifts into the arena, giving birth to an excited murmur from the crowd. Red and blue lights splash across the landscape, as an orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the overhead scoreboard and onto the entrance stage. It lands with tremendous impact, nearly deafening those spectators unlucky enough sit near it. Immediately after the powerful pyro display concludes the lights dim to a troubling blackness. The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans downward to reveal the rugged man known as The Lonestar Gunslinger. His chiseled body framed by white trunks and Melod's favrotie Stewiee Griffin shirt, Baron tosses both his hands into the sky to the cheers of the OAOAST faithful. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes! Now making his way to the ring from San Antonio, TX he is the Lonestar Gunslinger...BARON WINDELLS! Baron dives into the ring, where he immediately heads to the top turnbuckle and again throws his arms up in triumph. COLE Believe it or not this is actually a scouting exercise by Theodore Moneymaker. He had Josie make a match between Christian Wright and Baron Windells for the purposes of scouting out Baron Windells. Windells has fuddled the Blonds the past few weeks, so I suppose Moneymaker wants to see how he handles his right hand man. But what could he be scouting him for? What is this guy uo to? Cole's pontifications are interrupted by the classic riffs of ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man. Through the parting entrance doors steps two of the sharpest dress men in all the OAOAST, Christian Wright and Detective Bosley. Clad in an all white suite, Bosley gazes through green tinted circle lens sunglasses as he lesiurely puffs on a cigarette. Standing inside a green spotlight that contrasts the gaudy flashing blue lights all around the entrance stage, Wright twirls around to show off his fine slacks and even finer loafers. BUFFER Making his way to the ring at this time, he is accompanied by DETECTIVE BOSLEY Now residing in Washington D.C... he weighs in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD... respresenting The Enterprise, ladies and gentlemen... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I guess we're obligated to compliment Christian on being willing to show his face on HeldDOWN after talking a whole bunch of trash and getting beaten in a Boiler room by Bohemoth. But its nice to see Moneymaker keeps himself busy, digging up the ex of our franchise player, waging a smear campaign against a celebrity's teenage daughter, and now writing scouting reports. Where does he find time for himself? Wright climbs up the steps, staring down his foe with an unusually friendly smirk. Bosley, on the other hand, shows no signs of kindness and only growls ferociously at the former tag team champion. While Bosley'S ice cold glance may send most people heading for the hills, Windells pays him not a single bit of attention, and instead locks his focus on the still grinning Natural. DING DING DING After the bell rings, the two gladiators circle one another, each sizing the other up, eyeing down any potential weak points in the other's game. Finally they come together in the center of the ring for a lockup. Despite Windells' strength advantage, the leverage of CW manages to back the cowboy into the corner. Immediately, referee Buzzlefoxer calls for a clean break. Wright is more than happy to give it to the senior citizen, but does so only so he can lob a forearm at BW's face. Windells swings beneath the strike and scurries away, leaving The Natural's hand to slam against the ringpost. "By the heavens that hurt!" Wright complains. "Don't puss out on me, baby! Don't puss out on me!" Bosley calls back to him. Deciding not to puss out on the Detective, Wright comes to the center of the ring to meet BW for another lockup. This time its the hunky Texan, showing superiority as he shoves the 2005 rookie of the year into the ring posts. COACH Its a damn shame The Enterprise don't got any reps in that number one contender's match tonight. A diggity damn shame! COLE Diggity da....whatever. If Wright had managed to beat Bohemoth in the Boiler Room, there's a better than average chance he would've had his shot to be the number one contender to PRL's world title. But, Wright came up jiust a bit short against his former lackey. Buzzlefoxer again calls for a clean break, but there's nothing clean about the break brought upon by the elbow Moneymaker's right hand man throws into Windell's forehead. Caught off guard by the attack, BW staggers backwards and is put down by a running shoulder block from The Natural. The view cuts backstage to Moneymaker and Mackenzie watching on screen, as Wright puts his Brooks Brother's loafers to the muscular back of his rival. COACH We always talk about how much Krista's shoes cost, but what about Wright? That man is rocking Somalia's GDP on his feet. Dude is stuntin on these bitchmade crackas with they Adidas and they Keds! COLE Dude is stuntin on the limit on Moneymaker's American Express. Having everything you own in another man's name ain't what's hot in the streets, Coach. "You shall rise, infidel! You shall rise and taste thy bitterness of my blade!" Wright commands, leading Windells to drag his body, sore back and all off the canvas. The Natural shifts his focus to BW's front, hammering it with flesh shredding european uppercuts. After the fourth upper cut slices away at Baron's well defined pecs, CW latches onto his wavy hair and drives his face directly into the ring posts. Windells screams in agony, which causes Bosley to shout "I love it, baby! Cold blooded killer shit right there!" "LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON!" "SILENCE!" Wright yells as he stalks Baron's retreat across the ring. But, his time to engage the annoying audience proves costly, as Baron begins firing off a round of forearms that daze Wright and delight the sold out audience. Having weakened Wright enough with his strikes, The Lonestar Gunslinger latches onto his arm and whips him clear across the ring. The Natural crashes into the turnbuckle posts with a thudding oomph, but still has to the wherewithall to notice Baron approaching with the Bite My Shiny Metal Ass BUTT bump. Thus Wright counters the signature strike by leaping upwards and striking his foe with a dropkick to the back! "BOOOOOO!" hiss the audience, while Bosley pumps his fist like a maniac on the outside. COACH Hahah! That's why Christian Wright is 2005 rookie of the year! COLE I could've sworn he was 2005 rookie of the year because his only competition was Jay Richards, MARV and MEL when they weighed 125 pounds, and the South Central Militia. Wright waits with one hand on the rope, hunched over, looking more fearsome and predatory than ever before. Yet his vile glare does not intimate the gutsy youngster who rises and charges blindly at his foe. This haphazard dash is remarkably ill advised as when he reaches The Natural, CW lifts him into the air and slams him downwards with the Wright Off (Sky High). Windells cringes in pain, clutching onto his back and trying to still the rising pain. "CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!" the fans chant, greatly annoyed with watching Wright celebrating by dusting off his hands. COACH Mister Moneymaker wanted to test Baron, and see what he's got, well he's seeing he ain't got a whole lot to him! This bum is doo doo water, sir. Doo doo water! COLE With in depth scouting reports like that, how can you ever go wrong with the wrestling insights of Jonathan Coachman? Smiling a broad and sinister typer of smile, Wright merrily walks towards Baron, who's having incredible difficulty simply standing. Frustrated by Windells slow and pained rise, CW grabs a clump of his sandy blond hair and yanks him off the canvas. He talks a bit of 16th century inspired trash and then pelts him in the head with a nasty head BUTT. "BOOOOOOOO!" "Ha-ha! You see that shit, bro! That's fucking Alpha, bro! Fucking Alpha!" Bosley shouts to no one really, making his cries of bro all the weirder. Back in the ring, CW returns to terrorizing BW with his trusty european uppercuts. The strikes leave Baron leaning against the ropes, struggling to regain his quickly fleeting breath. This goal remains out of reach, however, as Christian backs him into the corner with devastating knife edge chop. "BARON! BARON! BARON!" COLE The fans getting behind Baron tonight. One of the many young exciting athletes that make the OAOAST that make the OAOAST the show to watch on Thursday nights. COACH And of the many young athletes with tights that reveal bulging erections that make the OAOAST the show to watch for lonely closest cases on Thursday night. Wright grabs onto the side of Windells' head and guides him across the ring to the opposite corner. There he plans on ramming The Gunslinger's head into the posts, but that effort is cut short by Baron placing his boot on the ring posts and smashing his elbow into CW's jaw. The Natural shrieks in a combination of pain and frustration over missing his devious attack. Unfortunately the misery continues to mount for the native North Carolinian, as his enemy now besieges him with powerful right hands. Desperate to break free of the horrible onslaught, CW grabs hold of Baron's left arm and simply throws him to the ropes. The Natural takes an all too short moment to catch his breath, then as Baron returns with a lariat, he dips low and upends him with a back body drop! The long heavily muscled physique of the Gunslinger soars through the air before it finally crashes with a booming thud. While the fans jump back in horror and dismay, Wright lies atop his foe for a pinfall. ONE! TWO! Baron lifts his shoulder off the canvas, giving the capacity crowd something to cheer for. COLE Baron's Windells is as resilient and as tough as they come. There's something for Mister Moneymaker to mark down on his scouting report. Also, I think you're a jackass. Mark that down on your scouting report to! Baron rolls to the corner, trying his hardest to catch his breath so that he may gather the strength needed to stage a comeback. But Wright trails his retreat, and after reaching his foe, strikes him with a well placed loafer to the chest. Windell's clutches his now wounded pec and stands up. He stumbles away from Wright, grimacing in agony. The Natural is unrelenting in his attack and traps BW in place with a rear waistlock. There's a moment of struggle from the former tag champion, but its easily overcome by Wright who upends him with a bridging German Suplex! Baron hits the mat with crushing impact, and the audience boos the downfall of one of their favorite rising stars. "Yeah, baby, that's the shit I like to see!" Bosley hollers as Buzzlefoxer drops to his weak wobbly knees to count the fall. ONE! TWO! Baron's shoulder finds its way off the mat. The spectators are allowed to breathe a sigh of relief, while Bosley throws what's most likely a roid induced fit. Wright is less exasperated then his high strung cohort, and turns to the audience to declare "You shall give the devil his due!" "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" COLE That's not quite the due, Wright had in mind, I suppose. COACH Hell yeah, I want some Mountain Dew. Thanks, buddy! Turning his scornful gaze away from the audience and back to his foe, Wright grabs a hold of Windells' white tights and guides him off the canvas. Once fully upright, BW is tangled inside an inverted facelock. He rifles a pair of knees to Wright's face, but The Natural employs swift head movements to defeat BW's escape efforts. With his opponents freedom a near impossibility, CW lifts him into the air, then falls forward to drive his back down onto the canvas with an inverted vertical suplex. The two hundred forty five pounded crashes through the canvas with enough impact to shake the ring to its very core. As Baron immediately throws his hands around his incredibly sore back, Wright continues to inflame the audience, "A man can die but once, but a god such as myself can kill but a million men!" He boasts, and although unsure of what that actually means, the audience strikes at him with shouts of hatred. Leaving Bosley to argue with the annoying fans, Wright drags his battered adversary off the canvas. After softening him up with an elbow to the stomach, The Natural hurls him into the ropes. Baron hits the cables and bounces back with a high knee lift on his mind. But CW is much to fast for him and blitzes the Texan with a diving lariat. "As Baron Windells was valiant, I honor him; but, as he was ambitious, I slew him!" Wright proclaims, getting to his feet with prideful grin. "BOOOOO!" Wright takes a step back from Baron to measure up the Gunslinger and determine just the perfect point to strike. When he finds his target, he rushes forward and levels an elbow upon his backside. Although the blow inflicted a great deal of pain, the tough as nails Windells refuses to show any sort of agony. Instead he grits his teeth, clinches his mighty fist and begins to rise. This show of strength does not sit overly well with CW, and The Finance guru pounds at his face with ferocious fists. Yet even as the verbose grappler pounds away at BW's skull, The Gunslinger continues to rise off the canvas. Frustrated by BW's refusal to be laid out, Wright increases the power behind his numerous blows. No Homo. However, there is no delaying the inevitable and BW finally hits paydirt and strikes at CW with a forearm to the stomach. That lone shot leaves CW weak and wobbly on his knees, unable to prevent Baron from charging towards the ropes.This is monumentally fatal as The Gunslinger returns with full speed to make CW bite his shiny metal ass! "YEAAAAAAAAAA!" Baron attempts to give the audience even more to cheer about as he hooks Wright's leg for a crucial fall. ONE! TWO! Bosley beings sliding into the ring to end the fall. But he reacted a tad too quickly as Wright is able to kick out of the pinfall. The Financial Analyst hastily returns to his feet, meeting Windells with a knee to the midsection upon his rise off the canvas. BW is stunned by the sudden strike, and left double over under hindering pain. Wright takes advantage of BW's unfortunate condition, by locking him down into a front facelock. However, that hold doesn't last for but a brief few seconds before BW calls upon his roughneck might and powers out the hold. Now free of CW's clutches , Baron aims for his rather large head with a lariat! But The Natural swoops bellow the oncoming attack. BW prepares to turn around for his famous Myspace Comeback, but Wright crushes such efforts by driving his loafers into his foe's back with a dropkick. Baron falls forward, landing flat on his handsome face, a none to pleasing sight to those female's in attendance. "Oh shit! Oh shit!" Bosley celebrates "My man Christian is doing it! He's killing it like a king of the jungle should kill it! This dude is intense, baby, and I love it!" COLE What a moron. Due Baron's short but exhausting flurry of offense, Wright needs more then several moments to regain his breath. Unfortunately, this prevents him from capitalizing on any damage he may have caused Windells. While Wright tries to reclaim his lost energy, and BW does the same, the audience roots on the fallen ex tag team champion. Beneath their cries of support for BW, the referee for the match begins a monstrously slow count. Hey, he's 86 he probably thinks he's counting down to his death! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE" At three, which would be seven for competent referees, both gladiators begin to pull themselves off the floor. First to his feet, Wright takes hold of Baron in order to fling him to the ropes. Unfortunately for The Natural, his foe comes roaring back to decimate him with a leaping shoulder block. Just as soon as he crashed into the mats, an aggravated Wright stands back up, daring Windells to come face him. BW happily agrees with this challenge and cuts him down with another shoulder tackle. Now brimming with aggression, The Gunslinger roars out and earns a good pop from the audience. As thrilled as the fans were, Wright is every bit as discussed and tries to lacerate BW with a european uppercut. But with the dexterity of a feather weight boxer, Baron weaves around Wright's signature attack. The snobbish pugilist is pushed off balance by his miss, making him an easy victim to the the spinning elbow BW floors him with! "YEAAAAA!" scream the fans as they watch Wright gracelessly plummet to the mats. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS, KID! BUT IT AIN'T ALPHA! IT AIN'T ALPHA ONE BIT!" shouts you-know-who. COLE If he doesn't calm down he's going to have a heart attack...on second thought...keep shouting, Bosley! Alpha! Alpha! Alpha! Grrr! Rawwwwwr! Alpha! Bosley can endure this horrible un-alpha display no longer! His keen alpha instincts, honed by years of of working the unforgiving streets of New York, guide him to the ring apron where he dares BW to stand with the leader of the pride. But, Bosley's braggadocios words are of little matter to a good Ol Texan, and Baron sends him flying from the apron with a single lunging punch! As Bosley goes soaring from the ring apron to land in an enraged an embarrassed crumple on the mats bellow, the fans put out a large cheer for his misfortune. Baron, however, can't take time to cheer Bosley's well deserved downfall, as he has to deal with The Financial Analyst sneaking towards him. Windells is well prepared for his swift arrival, and with all too great an ease guides him onto his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry. Yet, Wright will not partake in whatever plan Baron has schemed and quickly shimmies down his back to try and snare the bronco into a reverse chinlock. But Baron can not be calmed the way Wright had hoped, and he powers right through the basic submission hold. Before Wright has a chance to employ a different strategy, his foe is locking him into a front facelock, the set up for the Brigham Young Cocktail! The audience is now on their feet, ready to count along with a match ending pinfall. But, their joy is premature, as its Wright who may end the match with the Northern Lights Suplex he reverses Baron into. Buzzlefoxer scores the pinfall... ONE! TWO! A kickout by Baron! From his prone position on the mat, Bosley releases a hellish stream of profanities over the count, so vulgar even I'm loathe to repeat them. Back inside the ring, the equally annoyed, but surprisingly more quiet, backs away towards the corner, impatiently awaiting his foe's rise. "Stand thee, knave! Stand thee and perish by my sword!" Wright commands amidst the buzzing of an excited crowd. Eventually Baron follows CW's command, that gives the former HI-YAH world champ all the license he needs to rush in on BW. But Wright's eagerness to attack, creates his own downfall, as BW drag him to the canvas with a drop toe hold. The amazing agony that comes from smacking one's face against the mat, hasn't but a few seconds to settle in before Baron applies and even more anguishing STF! COLE I see a lot of A's of Moneymaker's scouting report for Baron. Who knew he could bust out submissions like this one? Its like he learns something new every match. COACH He oughta learn how to crawl his ass back to Mister Dick. This nigga went from top ten to not mentioned at all. This nigga went from tag titles, to sitting at an announce table praying Krista wouldn't son him on accident. Wright screams and shouts make it seems as though he's being put through chinese water torture, and with the way Baron tugs and torques on his neck Wright would probably foist over CIA secrets just to have freedom. Thankfully, the ropes are near enough that one mighty lunge of his arm is enough to secure a grasp on them. Buzzlefoxer calls for a clean break, and with Baron being such a sportsman, he quickly gives up his hold on Wright. COACH Where's the killer instinct? You gotta rip that man's neck off. That's some ol goody two shoes Tim Cash type mess Baron is pulling. The killer instinct Coach so desperately called for, certainly isn't on display, as Baron backs away to the middle of the ring at Buzzlefoxer's behest. With Windells no where within striking distance for the moment, Wright takes a leisurely approach to returning to combat. He rolls out onto the ring apron, where he simply lies still, waiting to collect his breath. Even to a class act like BW, these shenanigans are just a bit too much. Thus, Baron comes forward and boots CW from his resting place! The Natural suffers through a rather rough landing on the ring mats, but nontheless quickly scurries to his feet. Now upright, he makes a swift return to ring apron, but The Gunslinger is right there to meet him with a punch to the face. Though the blow was delivered with great impact, it doesn't succeed in removing Wright from the ring apron. Thus Wright is able to fire off a punch of his own, and soon the two are engaged in a brutal slugfest. "Come on, baby! Pull some Navy Seal style shit on em! Whip out a knife and shank this dude! Shank em, man! Cut em open, till his guts spill on the floor, then pull down your pants and drop a deuce on that dude! Then take those dooky guts and just shove em right up his pisshole!" I shouldn't need to tell you who screamed that one. COLE Idiot. While Wright doesn't exactly stab Windells, he does the next best thing by ramming Windells head into the ring posts. The Lonestar Gunslinger is knocked dizzy by that attack, and as the fans cringe at his anguish he staggers backwards. With BW preoccupied by his pain, The Natural is able to scale up the ropes, unhindered by his foe. "Fuckin A', baby! Christian Wright, you are my cold blooded straight up killin homie, and I love you, dude! I fuckin love you! Kill this punk, C-Dub! I wanna go to this boys funereal tomorrow! I wanna send his mama a get real card, and then I wanna send her a picture of my junk! My junk! My lovely Bosley junk! Check it out!" "Yes, sire, Bosley, all eyeballs shalt rest upon that which you have thoughtfully anointed to be your junk." Wright turns away and then shudders at the abhorrent thoughts that creep into his head. Unfortunately, Bosley's oddly sated comment does more to distract Wright then assist him. That distraction is what allows Baron to come surging forward and blast him with a big boot! COLE Baron loves that move! There's something else for the scouting report, the kid has a lead foot and it nearly concussed Moneymaker's right hand man. If not a concussion, it certainly dazed CW to the point where he barely seems aware that Windells is joining him atop the turnbuckles. Even as the Gunslinger tightens him into a front facelock, he has little idea he's in any actual danger. "Brigham Young Cocktail!" Baron screams to an approving legion of fans. With the roar of the audience, and those three horrible words, Wright becomes all to aware of the fate that awaits him. As such he frantically motions for his second to spring into action. Hyped up on roids, speed, and AMP energy drinks, Bosley arrives within a mere second. He grabs onto CW's slacks and with his chemically enhanced strength rips him free of Windells' grip. Although BW tries his hardest to hold onto CW, the former NYPD officer manages to safely cart him to the outside mats. The audience is incredibly displeased with Bosley's meddling and informs him of it with jeers and catcalls. COACH That's the advantage of being in a stable, ya always got someone to watch your back. The Gunslinger ain't smart enough to realize their ain't no profit to be made in being a lone star. Baron leans over the ropes and demands that CW and Bosley return. Yet both are two busy having what looks to be rather casual and laid back chat. As laid back as Bosley can get, I suppose. After careful consideration, Wright and Bosley reach a consensus on whatever they were discussing. With both men in agreement, Wright summons a microphone from a ringside attendant. "BOOOOO!" the fans spew their hatred, forcing to Wright to glare in impatience until they'll finally cease and desist. WRIGHT Mister Windells, it is with appertaining compunction that I do cast you these bitter sweet farewells. Yet, let us not be bedfellows with indignation or displeasure! Instead let us be merry, for you have served this scouting exercise quite well. The Enterprise accords you with appreciation for your participation in this athletic exhibition. For now, Detective Bosley and I can only offer you good byes, but we do hope to have the pleasure of a more extended and permanent acquaintance with you at a later date. Adieu. Just like that, Wright discards the microphone and he Bosley begin a retreat up the ramp. The audience is livid and blast them with raging furnace of anger. Windells is slightly more subdued in his reaction, staring off with his mind clouded by curiosity over this odd scouting test. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, referee Clem Buzzlefoxer has declared this bout a no contest! "BOOOOOOO!" COLE What the heck was that? Christian Wright and Tango Bosley just packed up shop and headed home! They just abandoned this entire match. That's insane. COACH They got what they came for. They wanted to see what Baron Windels had, test him out, get a read on him. This wasn't about winning a match, this was about collecting information. COLE Information for what though? I assume we'll find out in the weeks to come. Fans, stay tuned for more HeldDOWN after this! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 We return from commercial break to rejoin Leon Rodez in his trail around the arena. Sat down on a equipment trunk Leon taps his finger against it impatiently, with a cellphone clamped against his ear. With every passing second the tapping gets quicker and he seems to get more frustrated, until he pulls the phone away to see that he's been disconnected. LEON Damnit Maggie, c'mon! Leon goes to dial the number again... but stops halfway through and snaps it shut, angrily sticking it back in his pocket. Jumping to his feet Leon then goes back to what he was doing earlier, namely trudging around looking for somebody. He doesn't have far to go this time, finding himself outside the locker room of The Enterprise. Leon takes a couple of seconds to steel himself, a deep breath before going to open the door... ...and he stops, finding who he wants outside, much to his relief. At the end of the hallway stands Molly Nerdly, discussing something with an OAOAST camera man who's been pulled away from filming random backstage conversations without anyone noticing. So another camera man doing the exact same thing follows Leon down the hallway as he approaches Molly. MOLLY (inspecting the camera) Ah yes, I remember this model. Very sturdy and dependable. Maybe that's why OAOAST head office won't shell out for new top of the range models. Now, the only problem is, the video-out port tends to... LEON Excuse me. Can I BUTT in? The OAOAST camera man quickly leaves while the opening is there. Frozen on the spot, Molly slowly turns around and once she sees the voice was from who she assumed it was, her eyes grow wider. Taken a little by surprised at the starstruck look he's getting, Leon shakes it off. LEON Look, after last week there's some things I need to do to put my mind at rest. And I know a few weeks ago, Reject got to you and he kicked you in the ribs... uhm, are you okay? MOLLY Why... yes, it's just... it's you! LEON Huh? Oh, yeah. I get it, I'm not the most popular person with your family right now. MOLLY No no no, far from it. My silly sisters and yourself are none of my concern. I meant... it's you. It's Leon Rodez, in the flesh, here, standing in front of me... forgive me for being so bold, but I... I'm a big fan of yours. LEON Oh, really. MOLLY Honestly, yes, I don't wish to sound sarcastic. For months I've seen you walk around these halls and I've been too nervous to say anything to you, but really I've harboured admiration for you from afar for some time. Awkward as that may be with my current situation. But I... I'm a big fan of your movies. Not exactly what he was expecting to hear, Leon turns around half-expecting an ambush, or at the least someone to laugh at the ruse. But it seems Molly is being genuine, especially from the still starstruck look on her face. LEON Are you for real? MOLLY I'm never anything but when discussing great works of film! Christian had copies laying around still from his days of trying to discredit your career with them. LEON Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. MOLLY And I happened upon them routing through the vaults of Stately Money Manor and... well, I've been a fan ever since. How could I not? Am I correct in thinking you directed most of your later pictures yourself? LEON Well... actually, yes, I did. MOLLY (to self) Then the rumours were true. Oh, I always believed them to be, but you always worry of lost artistic integrity in this world. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to hear it from you! Let me start by saying, your adept use of lighting to accentuate character's moods and inner feelings is something to behold. And the way your movies transfer so seamlessly from shot to shot to further feelings of tension and excitement... well, it's not the work of a amateur, let me assure you of that! You have to have a talent for it. And you have that in abundance. LEON So, hang on... let me get this straight, you're saying that I'm a good director? On the basis of a couple of my old movies? MOLLY Of course! The material may not have been highbrow or poignant in any way if you don't mind me saying so, but your ability to create a vision and put it up on the screen shone through all the shoddy acting it accompanied. That is the true mark of a great director, to make the most of what he or she is given. LEON Well, this is a first. Still hardly be able to believe what he's hearing, Leon can't help but smile a little. LEON You know, if you're watching my movies and the first thing you notice is the lighting, I should probably be offended. MOLLY (sheepishly) Oh, well, I did notice some other things as well. LEON Glad to hear it. Suddenly, Leon's cellphone starts to go off in his pocket. Holding up a pausing finger he pulls the phone from his pocket... and casually turns it off and replaces it. LEON Sorry about that. MOLLY Oh no, please. I don't wish to hold you up. Perhaps we could continue this conversation a little later, because I do have some questions I'd like to probe you with. I'm a film studies student when not roaming these corridors you see and any advice from a professional such as yourself would be remarkably helpful. LEON .....sure, we can probably arrange something. Always a pleasure to meet a fan like yourself. MOLLY Oh, goodness! You flatter me. I do know a good coffee shop with a fantastic atmosphere, if that sounds okay. Shall we say 8? LEON Well, so long as the atmosphere isn't included in the bill. MOLLY As Molly breaks out into laughter, Leon continues to wonder what the hell is going on. Molly's laughter continues to ring around the corridors until she disappears into the Enterprise dressing room, leaving Leon behind to wonder if that really just happened. COACH A meeting, at a coffee shop, with a Nerdly, huh? Boy, that sap just don't learn his lesson does he? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 COMMERCIAL As we return from break back here on HeldDOWN~!, everyone's favorite Tough Enough contestant turned interview extraordinaire, JOSH MATTHEWS~! is standing at center ring to welcome us back. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome...The IN-TERPRISE~! COACH All right, The Enterprise comin' on out here again to show these people just who is in control of HeldDOWN~! COLE Did he say "Enterprise"? I swore he said...hahahaha, well now Coach, I think you better take a second look at your monitor! "Money Talks" by ACDC plays, and the crowd is not happy about it...until they see the group enter through the curtain. For the first time in their OAOAST tenure, The Enterprise gets a loud ovation from the crowd...but that's because we're not actually being blessed with the presence of Theodore Moneymaker's supergroup. The fans are laughing, clapping, and roaring, because four all-too familiar faces are coming out in place of the loathed members of The Enterprise. Leading the way is Zack Malibu, flashing wads of colored paper to the camera, decked out in a black suit with a top hat and carrying a cane as well. Behind him is Leon Rodez, sticking his chin up in the air and carrying a copy of Webster's dictionary as he walks slowly, doing his best to look studious. Bo and Sly round out the group, wearing what would normally take for stylish suits...if they weren't powder blue. Oh, and Sly's in blackface, so one can only guess that he's playing the part of CPA tonight! COACH What the...what is this crap!??!?! Moneymaker's gonna have their heads for this! The In Cr...whoops, IN-Terprise enter the ring, and Zack shakes Josh Matthews hand...cramming a blue fifty dollar bill into it, noticed by the zoom lens of the camera. COLE It's Monopoly money! COACH Ugh...how original. Josh just chuckles and heads out, leaving Zack with the mic, and a wild crowd cheering he and his cohorts on. MALIBU That's right, cheer, all you people. Cheer me because I am rich! Cheer me because I am powerful! Oh, and cheer the other members of my group, because I'm not paying them for nothing! For I am rich...RICH...RICHER THAN RICHIE RICH! I am THEODORE MONOPOLYMAN, AND THIS IS MY IN-TERPRISE~! COLE Theodore Monopolyman!? Well, that explains the top hat and cane! COACH You are just LOVING this, aren't you? MALIBU That's right, and nobody...not any of you, have more money than ME! Behold all of my income! I've got pink 5's, yellow 10's, blue 50's...wait, who the hell put a Get Out Of Jail Free card in with my weekly allowance!?!? Za...er, Monopolyman turns to face the other members of The In-Terprise, but they plead innocence, until Leon comes forth. LEON I say old chap, it was certainly not I, Christian Ebineezer Alistaire Mortimer Wright, Esq. For I would never allocate the transcendental epiphany of a dubious pontification! Oh, and furthermore... Leon/Wright quickly opens his dictionary, and starts thumbing through. LEON EXUBERANCE! Monopolyman pulls the mic away, looking at Leon oddly. MALIBU Yes, well...what he said! Here you go old chap...here's a $100 bill. Use it as a bookmark for all I care, because there is plenty more where that came from. Especially since I'M RICH~! Monopolyman puts his hands on his hips, posing as if he's just conquered Mt. Everest, until the mic is rudely snatched away from Bohemoth, looking a little less like the Metrosexual Monster he is in the powder blue suit. BOHEMOTH I think it's about time that I got a chance to speak! I'm more than just atmosphere here! I'm more than just a henchman! I'm Detective Tango Bos...Tango Bos...Boszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. In what may be a HeldDOWN~! first, a wrestler falls asleep at the mic, as Bo's head slumps over in mid-promo! Thinking fast, Monopolyman slaps him across the back of the head, waking him up. MALIBU THAT'S why we don't let you talk! I mean, not only are you not RICH~!, but you're so boring you even put yourself to sleep! I mean, certainly if you were worth your salt as a detective, you would have found some charisma by now! Saddened, Bo-sley goes over to the corner and leans on the top rope, putting his head down as if he's in a time out! MALIBU That's right, you bury your head over there and realize that you are simply an associate. You are being paid for a service, and rather well I might add because I'M RICH~! Again, Monopolyman poses proudly, until the mic is taken by Sly Sommers, clad in blackface. SLY Oh you're rich all right. You've got our pockets lined pretty heavily with that cold, hard, Parker Bros. cash, brother. BUT, let's not forget... MALIBU Speaking of forgetting, what was your name again? SLY Why, I'm the CPA, partner of the AMOG. We make up the VICE? So RSVP ASAP, OK? Monopolyman looks around, bewildered. MALIBU Were you talking to me or reading an eye chart? Suddenly, Leon strolls over. LEON FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION~! Monopolyman wipes the spit out of his eye after the pronounciation of that one. MALIBU What!? LEON FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION~! MALIBU I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! What does it mean, exactly? LEON It...I mean, uh... Leon pulls back, and starts thumbing quickly through his dictionary again. MALIBU Now let's see, one, two three...BOSLEY GET BACK IN THAT CORNER! Bo-sley, who turned around to come back and join his stablemates, puts his head low and goes back to standing in the corner on a timeout. MALIBU Four of us...OH! I almost forgot...but that tends to happen when YOU'RE RICH LIKE ME~! We're missing somebody! We're missing Alison! SLY Mr. Monopolyman, sir...truth be told I think EVERYONE forgot about Alison! All Zack can do is nod in agreement to that one, as the crowd gets a chuckle out of it. MALIBU Even so...Alison, sweetheart, please come out and join us! "Money Talks" hits again, and out comes...an OAOAST staff member, walking a Golden Retriever on a leash! COLE Oh my, hahahaha. I really don't think this is going over well with certain people. Leon and Sly group up with Zack, and start to come "out of character" for the segment, as they look a little perturbed by this. SLY Zack, don't you think we're taking this a little too far? I mean, a dog to play Alison? MALIBU Well, yeah...I mean, we had to. LEON Because she's a bitch, right? Malibu's eyes widen, as if he can't believe Leon just said that, but it's understandable given Leon's recent state of mind. MALIBU No Leon, that's not why. SLY Wait, I get it...she's a little on the...ahem...hairy side, Zack??! MALIBU What, NO! No guys, I mean I think it's obvious to everyone in this arena why we chose a female dog to portray Alison tonight...because not a single female back there in that locker room would want to be compared to her, even as a joke! Sly and Leon look at each other, and do the "oooooooooooh" style reaction. MALIBU OK, um...we're getting to serious here guys. Let's just, uh, let's forget that happened people, OK? I'll make it worth your while, hang on a second! Monopolyman puts down the mic and jumps out of the ring, and runs around ringside, handing the Monopoly money to eager fans at ringside! He then rolls back into the ring, just as Bo-sley is about to pick up the mic. MALIBU GET BACK IN THAT CORNER! BOHEMOTH But...I HAVE A BADGE! Bo-sley reaches into the pocket of his awful looking suit, and pulls out a plastic, star shaped badge. MALIBU So you do...wait, Sherriff!? You're a DETECTIVE! THIS BADGE ISN'T REAL~! Zack takes the badge and hums it like a Chinese star out into the crowd. MALIBU Bo-sley, what exactly DO you bring to the table for The In-Terprise? Bo-sley puts his hand on his chin and ponders this, until Leon runs over. LEON An estimation of something as worthless! Malibu does a double take, not sure what he's talking about. MALIBU Come again? What exactly are you talking about? LEON FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION~! That time, Zack takes Bo's jacket and wipes his face off, as Leon wipes the drool from his lips. MALIBU OK, maybe we should stop now. LEON I promise not to enunciate as much. MALIBU No, Leon...I mean, fun's fun, but now...now we can get down to business. I think that we've entertained everyone here tonight with an accurate portrayal of The Enterprise, have we not? The crowd roars with approval, as The In Crowd stand in center ring. MALIBU Moneymaker, as you can see, we've got a sense of humor about things...except when someone wants to make things personal. You want to make me your main target, try to deface my character and use my girlfriend and my baby as a lure to feed into your little quest to reveal me as some type of villain? You've got your wish, pal. You can bring Alison back, you can surround yourself with intellectuals and bodyguards and detectives and whatever you want to classify your...ahem...associates as long as you want. The truth is, no person, no amount of money, NOTHING can protect you once I finally get my hands on you, and when that happens, Teddy, I promise you...it'll be no laughing matter. Every man in this ring may have individual goals, but collectively, we forge a cohesive unit based on the one thing that you won't ever get from me, Sly, Leon, Bo, or any of these people filling these seats. You will never, Teddy, EVER, have respect. You will never have the adulation, you will never hear the crowd chant your name, because no amount of money can buy that, Teddy. You are looking at four men who have gone through hell and back, and if you think you can do better than those that fell before you, then try us. Push us to our limits, put our backs to the wall, because so help me God, the money in your pocket isn't what makes up this company. You want to try and get control, you want to slide into Anglesault's chair...well I've got news for you. This company is fueled on OUR blood, OUR sweat, and OUR tears, and we're not going to give that up to you. If I were you, I'd keep your cash in your pocket and the eyes in the back of your head wide open, because your day is coming. As for Alison, and your little exposes lately...say what you want. Moneymaker may as well have his hand up your ass because all you got brought back for was to be his ventriloquists dummy, spouting half-truths and outright lies to try to paint a darker picture of Zack Malibu. Keep talking, Alison, and I promise you, that eventually your mouth will write a check that even Mr. Moneybags over there won't be able to cash! Having made his point, Malibu stares coldly into the hard camera, flanked by his three best friends. "Popular" hits, and The In Crowd, having just shown The Enterprise they're not playing around, exit the ring to the cheers of the capacity crowd. COLE A vintage In Crowd promo, and The Enterprise...oh, they're going to be steaming after that one! COACH That was SO uncool. COLE Coach, I saw you cover your mouth so that you wouldn't laugh into your mic! COACH I did no such thing! Why you gotta blow up a brotha's spot, Mikey!? COLE Well, fans there's more HeldDOWN coming up, including our main event to decide the number one contender for the world title. So stay tuned! Hehhehe Monoplyman. 'Cause he's rich. Heheheh. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 OAOAST HeldDOWN is Brought to you by Pedophiles Minorities The Homeless They are threats to our everyday lives. It’s why as Class President, Jeffery Carter Pennington IV would secure our school’s perimeters. The same cannot be said for Maya Duncan-Blanchard. She wants to add 10 more minutes to recess. He wants to add 10 more hall monitors and beef up campus security. What would you rather have? 10 more minutes for a school shooting to erupt? Or 10 more hall monitors to make sure that school shooting never happens? In a recent interview with the school newspaper, Maya Duncan-Blanchard was quoted as saying “We should take in the homeless and give them a hot meal” right in the middle of lunch hour. Really Ms. Duncan-Blanchard? And risk a deranged homeless minority pedophile abusing one of our students? For shame. For shame. On March 7th in 6th Grade Maya Duncan-Blanchard voted against watching Finding Nemo and instead to watch Spider Man 2 for movie day before spring break. Not only that, but many have reason to believe Maya rigged the election for Spider Man in her role as vote counter. Sources say that when she got home her and her fat cat pals from the 7th Grade watched Finding Nemo at her slumber party. JC Pennington IV fought for the rights of the 6th Grade class to watch Finding Nemo. Even going against the will of his best friend. Students at Beverly Vista, ask yourselves one question: Who’s really looking out for you? Vote Jeffery Carter Pennington IV (R-CA) 8th Grade Class President at Beverly Vista School. He’s one investment you’ll see a big return on. “I’m J.C. Pennington IV and I approve this message.” Paid for by Jeffery Carter Pennington IV BVSCP ‘08 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 Backstage we find Jade Rodez-Duncan sat alongside gal pal Melody Nerdly. Poor Jade sits with her head buried in her hands, Melody able to sneak in a couple of blocks worth of Tetris DS while she's not looking, before the DS is quickly hidden and her face becomes apologetic again as soon as Jade emerges from her sorry pit of shame. JADE Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. He must think I'm the dumbest girl alive! MELODY Oh, come on now... he's met Alix, remember? JADE He just looked at me like I was some stupid little kid. What was I even thinking asking him out, he's WAY out of my league! I mean he's way out of both our leagues, he's in a whole 'nother league... stupid, stupid, stupid! MELODY Uh... if you remember correctly, I actually went out with him once. That recollection from OAOAST shows past (seriously, it happened, Melody used to be the cool one in 2006!) doesn't exactly make Jade feel any better and she gets ever closer to sobbing her heart out. MELODY I mean... I'm just saying, is all. JADE Oh Melody, I should have took your advice back then. MELODY What? My advice back then was to ask him out and you were even more young and unexperienced at the time. Jade gets another step closer to breaking down and Melody is forced to jump in to save herself having to see it. MELODY Look, forget that, it never happened. Men In Black that. Flash! Gone. I'm no good at this, I'm sorry. I'd probably be a much better shoulder to cry on if we can wait like 20 minutes and do this over AIM. Face to face conversations aren't really my strongest fortay. Emoticons > Actual emotions. *sees Jade glaring at her* But, I mean, if you wanna do this real world style, then that's cool too. Lemme see... well, uh, okay! All you have to do is prove to him you're not a kid. Show him how mature you are... or, failing that, fake it... then maybe you'll be able to change his mind. JADE I don't think that's gonna work. MELODY Yeah, but, that's what they'd do on every sitcom I've ever seen and to be honest that's pretty much what I base all my advice on. I mean, if it fails then he'll see you were trying and since you're the heroic figure of the story who the audience is supposed to empaphise with he'll go out with you anyway. Plus we'll all get a cheap laugh at your expence in the process. Jade glares at Melody. MELODY Look, I'm telling you we should be doing this over AIM. I can link you to hundreds of funny GIFs of cats up to mischief to cheer you up. Sadly, I'm allergic to real cats, so without AIM all I can provide is myself. JADE It's okay, you're trying your best. MELODY Thanks, I guess. Look, maybe it's not that bad. Maybe you can say I put you up to it. As a joke. Then, once you're in the clear, we let him think about whether you really meant it or not. In the meantime, we'll concoct some kind of brilliant scheme to make it look like you're dating MARV. JADE Gee, I dunno... MELODY Okay, MEL, whatever. Although if you go with the ugly one, the plan might not work so well. JADE Mel, they're identical. Melody continues to formulate her sitcom worthy plan, Jade still a little dubious but beginning to warm to any ideas... ...as behind them, a figure suddenly begins to loom out of the shadows. An intimidating figure. That of MALAYSIA NERDLY! MELODY Anyway, you make him jealous... JADE I don't think he's gonna be jealous of MARV or MEL really. MELODY It doesn't matter who it is, it just has to be someone. Look, trust me, okay. I've seen it hundreds of times on hundreds of shows and it absolutely very rarely fails. As Melody and Jade continue scheming, Malaysia watches on with a sinister smile. Not before time Jade suddenly gets the unnerving feeling that she's being watched and turns around. At that point, Malaysia suddenly charges out of the shadows with a low roar and grabs hold of Jade, before throwing her face-first into the wall behind her with a *THUD!* As Jade hits the hard floor with a shout, Melody instantly jumps to her best friend's defence. Leaping onto her massive sister's back she flails wildly at her, only for Malaysia to simply shrug her off and DRIVE her boot into Melody's chest bowling her up and over her seat!!! Melody stays down, while Malaysia goes back over to Jade. She grabs the helpless Women's Champion around the throat and lifts her to her feet, pinning the petrified young Duncan girl up against the wall and leaning right in next to her ear. MALAYSIA I'm coming for what's mine... MY belt... next week. With a shove forward Malaysia releases Jade's neck finally. Gasping for air Jade falls to the floor, still terrified Malaysia isn't done with her yet. Luckily, Malaysia just needs a couple of seconds to take in her victim's fearful strangled breathing, before she walks off satisfied. COLE Wow! Jade Rodez-Duncan against Malaysia, and Angleslam rematch for the women's title! That's next week, folks, on HeldDOWN. We would get her mother's opinion, but Krista is actually back home in LA receiving an award in comedy at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards. We're all very proud of her for that. But, even on an award night, she made her presence threat by calling in an anthrax scare and forcing half the roster to be subjected to cavity searches, and the possibility of being hanged for treason. Hurry back soon, Krista. Folks we will back with more HeldDOWN, and you don't to miss our major leauge mainevent bout! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 (edited) RACE FOR THE SCHOOL HOUSE 08 A SPECIAL REPORT WITH ~THEODORE MONEYMAKER~ ~MACKENZIE DECENZO~ ~AND RUSH LIMBAUGH~ On the set of conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh's hit radio show, we sit with the iconic figure himself as well as Theodore Moneymaker and Mackenzie DeCenzo. RUSH One and Only Anglesault Thread fans here is your one and only warning to tune this program out. This isn't your typical night of revelry with empty headed jocks swooning over even emptier headed bimbos. This doesn't concern you people, you're too lost in the swampy morass of America's liberal imposed immoral hell. This is for the student body at Beverly Vista School in Beverly Hills, California. Where right now the American political system is working over time as Democrat nominee Maya Duncan-Blanchard goes against Republican JC Pennington IV. With me today, is political expert, author of the upcoming book "Money talks! Bull@#$% walks!", Theodore Moneymaker, as well as hisfinance manager the very intelligent, Mackenzie DeCenzo! MONEYMAKER Gratitude may be lost on those not thankful for our government fighting to preserve or freedom and liberty, but it is not lost on me. Thank you for having us, Rush. RUSH Here...here's what I'm curious about, Teddy. Why isn't the Beverly Vista Gazette covering Maya's links to the radical 5th grader, Colton Hulse? MACKENZIE Its because the Beverly Vista Gazette is more interest in shoving down a pipping hot helping of bullhoey down the throats of the American people. MONEYMAKER But can we expect anything less from the liberal mainstream media? The same Neanderthals still pushing this global warming scam as if our earth as if an increases temperature somehow causes sea levels to rise! Hey, liberals, I have a fountain in front of my mansion. When the temp hits 90 I'm not seeing any FEMA helicopters coming to rescue me from the flood. And of course overreacting to a little dip in the market when middle class Americans are afraid to leave their home to take their kids to hockey practice, because the penalty box might be rigged with a terrorist bomb. MACKENZIE That's one way to cut down hooking and holding in the NHL. You hook me I sit you next to a suicide bomber. RUSH For those that don't know Colton Hulse is a 5th Grader who during morning assembly snuck into one of the biology class rooms and released every single frog that was scheduled to be dissected by his class that day. I don't know what type of plant the liberal mainstream media is smoking today... MONEYMAKER Dollars to donuts whatever it is Maya Duncan-Blanchard tries to get it legalized for medicinal purposes on campus grounds! "Teacher! Teacher! My tummy hurts!" "Here, Timmy, smoke a little crack rock, courtesy of the black kids of from South LA we've been bussing in! Smoke it outside, but try not to get killed in a driveby by the Mexican Mafia!" BWHAHAHAAH! RUSH But where I come from, the United States of America, we call that domestic terrorism. At the very least its a total subversion of the educational system. MONEYMAKER I have a cousin in Iraq, Rush, Hayden Moneymaker, who fights for his love of country and his love of huge flame throwing weaponry and the screams the terrorists make when he sets them on fire with it. "AHHHH! AGGHHH! ERRRRRAHAH!", he does it better than me, but its very funny. Did Allah order his burger well done? BWHAHAHAAH! My joke, not his. Every night, every night, I am on my knees praying for the safe return of not only him, but all our boys in Iraq. Not our women or our gays, I don't think either has any right to service or prayers for that mater. And it breaks my heart to see Maya Duncan-Blanchard basically take the side of the Hamas, and the Talibanai, and spit all over the American flag. Our boys are out there dying for your right to protest, Maya Duncan-Blanchard! They need to know that we support them, they don't need our schools, the cornerstone of American society, being ran by some pampered spoiled brat celebrity's kid, a damn liberal-nazi, a Stalin in the making. When our boys are out there dropping the bombs on the faces of evil in North Korea, or up in Alaska blasting away at Putin whenever he rears his head to deny us our right to sea lion riding, or igloo building or penguin racing they need to know the American children are ready to reload the clip and yell "Not today, you commie bastards! Not today!" RUSH What about this liberal talking point about JC's choice for vice class president, Abrianna Holden. This one that they've ran into the ground, because they know the American people are tired about hearing their usual assorted bag of lies so they pull out all new tricks to swindle us. MONEYMAKER Typical liberals. Whining and whining "Oh, she just got to the school in September! Oh, he's only known her for a month! Oh, they've only had one five minute conversation in the cafeteria over tacos!" As if somehow all of that makes her a questionable selection for being in the second highest position of power at the school. RUSH MONEYMAKER Listen, Rush, if I'm leaving a Heat game, and I see a black guy carrying a gun coming at me, I don't need to take the guy to Starbucks and get his opinion on the economic bailout passage and spend three years learning his hopes, dreams and aspirations for a better tomorrow to know "Oh no! Black guy with a gun! I'm probably gonna get shot!" Simple as that. The liberals would probably say I'm being racist. I need to understand. I need to learn. I understand there's a black guy with a gun, and I've learned that means I'm gonna get shot! MOACKENZIE I don't understand what the issue is with the Beverly Vista Gazette, Rush, I really don't. RUSH Neither do I frankly, Miss DeCenzo. But when you teach a monkey to read and write don't be surprised when you've got a paper full of crap. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHAHAAH! MACKENZIE The one time that feces ridden flea rag did decide to give equal coverage to the parties, they bombarded Miss Holden with a series of misleading and unfair questions designed with the singular intent to make her look like a bumbling idiot. RUSH Let's show a clip from the school's website between Sophia Rosenberg, a friend of Maya's, and Miss Holden. SOPHIA When it comes to your appreciation of the arts, what are some of your favorite artistic works? ARIANNA Works? What...uh? What? SOPHIA What's your favorite color? How about that? What's your favorite color? ARIANNA I've seen many colors with a great appreciation for the color wheels and the markers in the classroom. SOPHIA But what color specifically? ARIANNA I like all the color's that have been in front of me over the years. SOPHIA Could you name a color? Any one color that you like? ARIANNA ... SOPHIA Purple. Purple is a color. What about purple? Do you like purple? ARIANNA ..... SOPHIA Just say purple. Just say purple is my favorite color. ARIANNA ..... SOPHIA You don't even have to say my favorite color. Just say purple. Say the word purple. ARIANNA .... SOPHIA Just nod. That's all. Nod. Blink for me. Just blink. ARIANNA Me like popcorn! BACK TO THE STUDIO RUSH Is that kind of biased bullying what passes for journalism these days? Its time to take the media from the jaws of the out of touch liberal elite and back into the hands of the American people. MONEYMAKER JC made the decision on his VP because he doesn't tow company line. He does what's best for Joe Six pack and hockey moms, not the wealthy left wing elite. He's a maverick, Rush. JC is the maverick. The kid is a flat out maverick. To me he's a maverick. He's a maverick. I look at him and I see a maverick. When he walks down the street people go, "there's the maverick!" A maverick is in their presence. RUSH I agree. MONEYMAKER Maverick. RUSH And because- MONEYMAKER He's the maverick. RUSH Of people- MONEYMAKER JC is the maverick. RUSH That he is. MONEYMAKER Why won't somebody touch on the experience, or lack thereof, of Maya Duncan-Blanchard? After only 140 some days as a milk monitor in 7th grade, she is a heartbeat away from being Beverly Vista 8th grade class president. How is that acceptable in our country? Maybe because it took the liberal population a couple weeks to earn their GED, and that suddenly makes them the second coming of James Carville. Or it took them 140 days to get promoted to night manager at Wendy's, their presidents of the freaking model UN, because they supervise a Mexican at the drive through window? MACKENZIE Can you tell me what other jobs and careers you can be promoted in only 140 some days?! Not very many I can tell you that. MONEYMAKER That's where the supernatural comes in...Satan is helping Maya too---right along with the left-wingers and possibly some Muslims from other countries---after all it was a rich Muslim from another country that ran her acting school in first grade! Hmm, was she being groomed for such a time as this? RUSH Are you saying Maya's candidacy is the work of Satan? MACKENZIE Rush, if the pitchfork fits.... RUSH How true. How very, painfully true! MONEYMAKER It truly terrifies me that this little girl could lead us down a path of moral decay like never seen before. I ask the Lord to please listen to all of us...he knows our hearts and prayers. I know I need to leave it all in his hands and stop fearing...but it has been so very hard. Pray for Pennington/Holden, pray for our country, and please pray for me. And I think we should pray for Maya Duncan-Blanchard as well, even though my heart doesn't want to. It would be what Jesus would do. MACKENZIE Amen. RUSH Amen indeed. America stay conservative, and stay safe. Good night. FADE OUT COACH HAHAHAAH! Three epic losses in a row for the Duncan girls. These kids is torpedoing the Duncan name. Disgust at Jade for dragging Maya down with her. Jade supposed to be like the retard from Slingblade. The retard supposed to enrich yo life, open your mind, make you better. This retard just drags everyone else down to. Better ship Jade back to Grand Rapids where that kinda retardation is appreciated before she turns your little girl into Forest Gump. Next thing ya know Maya'll be dropping out the race to go man a shrimp boat with her boy Bubba. COMMERCIAL Edited October 11, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 COLE Welcome back to OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, moments away from our main-event. And I'm glad to say I'm joined here at ringside by a man with a vested interest in proceedings here, the World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican... which of course means, Coach has ran for the hills. PRL It really must be your lucky day Michael Cole. If they suddenly announce an N*Sync reunion before midnight, I'd advise you go out and grab like 100 lottery tickets. COLE But I only get paid $65 for doing this show. PRL Yeah? When did we start with the performance related pay around here? Anybody? One-two, guys in the truck, any help? COLE Anyway, main-event, fatal four way number one contendership, the winner goes on to the Halloween Spectacular to challenge for the World Title. And we all know what happened last year! PRL A night that'll go down in history. Right alongside Hitler's first public speech, George Bush's election victory and the night Coach started this job. Or any job for that matter. *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing, causing the fans to rise up and boo, as Brickston marches out through the entrance. Flanked by the sharply dressed Vitamin X, Brickston cracks his neck from side to side and sizes the crowd up before beginning to head for the ring. BUFFER The following Fatal Four Way contest is set for one fall, with the winner to recieve an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship match at this month's Halloween Spectacular! Introducing the participants. First, being led to the ring by his manager, VITAMIN X!! From Sacramento, California... he weighs two hundred and fifteen pounds... ladies and gentlemen, this is... BBRRRRRIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSTTOOOOOOOOOONN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vitamin X climbs up the ring steps and holds the ropes open for Brickston to enter the ring. Brickston wipes his feet on the ring apron and then enters, raises both fists over his head and letting out a mighty roar. Just incase the point didn't get across, he then climbs to the middle turnbuckles to do it again. COLE Brickston may not have the credentials or the resumé that his three opponents have, but that doesn't tell the whole story. This guy is legitimately tough. A man who's competed in many mixed martial arts fields and served in the US military. PRL Take it from someone who knows, Brickston's got all the tools you need to be a champion. Except maybe a brain. COLE Well now he's got Vitamin X guiding him as manager, to be the brains for him. PRL Yeah, but Vitamin X is a prize idiot as well. As Brickston works up the crowd, Vitamin X leans over the ring ropes and points a finger at PRL. Whether he heard that crack or not he takes exception to the World Champion's presence anyway. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The sounds of 80s power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" sound out next, to another round of boos from the hostile Virginia crowd! Striding through the entrance, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix sweeps his way down the aisle already making proud boasts of victory towards Vitamin X in the ring. Megan Skye follows behind her amped up man as he makes record time to the ring steps, only to stop suddenly when confronted by Brickston on the other side of the turnbuckles. BUFFER Introducing next, from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain! He weighs in tonight at two hundred, eight pounds... being accompanied to the ring by his manager MEGAN SKYE and proudly representing Cucaracha Internacional. He is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon backs down the steps away from Brickston, turning angrily to the crowd at the latest chorus of boos. "Who are you gonna boo, him or me?" he confronts the fans with, pointing to Brickston. And to his annoyance, they choose both. PRL Speaking of prize idiots, I swear this guy ain't all there in the head either. COLE Well you've had your fair share of run-ins with Landon Maddix over the past couple of years as well, how would you feel about La Cucaracha challenging you on October 31st? PRL Hey, if I can't beat a guy who comes to the ring to Pat Benatar, I might as well just quit right now, know what I'm saying. COLE (harbouring a secret love of Pat Benatar) ...yeah, I... I couldn't agree more. PRL Ugh. Suddenly, out go the lights as "Magnum Opus" begins to play. The distinctive music leads out the distinguished former World Champion, bathed in a gold light as he makes his way out. Alfdogg flicks the hair from his face and slowly makes his way to the ring, sizing things up on the way. BUFFER Hailing from Anderson, Indiana! He weighs two hundred, thirty seven pounds and is the leader of The Deadly Alliance... ladies and gentlemen, the former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... AAALLLLLLLLLLFFFFFF - DDOOOOOOOOOOGGGG!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Alf also the WDW World Champion for almost three years, so make that a three-time World Champion. PRL Yeah, and Landon's held the SWF title twice, so he's a three-time World Champion too. I'm sure Buffer would have pointed that out, if either company were worth mention anymore. COLE Yeouch! Alf continues his slow walk to the ring, catching eyes with Landon for a moment from adjacent sides of the ring. The two exchange some brief words before Alf rolls into the ring. Brickston is pulled up by Vitamin X and encouraged to wait, while Alf drops to a knee and holds out his arms to ignite a wall of pyrotechnics behind him. COLE Boy, I don't think Landon was expecting that! Having jumped to a safe distance just in time, Landon covers his heart with his hand and recovers his breath... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...while the crowd lose their's for the appearance of the final competitor. COLE HERE we go! BUFFER And finally, from Greenville, South Carolina! Weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... a member of the In Crowd... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Fired up, Bohemoth chews up the ring steps and enters the ring, at which point Alf decides to roll on out to the floor. Bohemoth casts a look towards Brickston and Vitamin X, now safely on the apron, as he hops to the middle turnbuckles and flaunts his muscles. COLE What an ovation for Bohemoth, looking to get that one on one crack at the big one he's been waiting so long for! Bo leaps down and hits another set of turnbuckles, giving Alf but not Landon the opening to get into the ring. As he hops down again Bohemoth then gets himself psyched up. Alf lays back in a corner and holds his hands up to show he's happy to wait for the bell. As too is Landon, still out on the floor with Megan. After some last words of advice for his man Vitamin X then joins them, cheering Brickston on. Referee Mike Chioda waves for Landon to get in so the match can start, but Landon doesn't seem too eager. COLE So it's one fall to a finish here, no disqualifications and no count-outs. And as acting OAOAST President Josie Baker said last week, the winner goes on to the Halloween Spectacular to challenge you for the World Title PR. Your thoughts? PRL My thoughts are pretty simple Michael Cole. This should be fun. These four want a shot at me, I'm more than looking forward to seeing them fight each other for the right while I sit here sipping on this nicely chilled water you've got sitting under this desk here. Very nice. You don't think that sounds too cowardly do you? 'Cause I'm kinda trying to steer myself in a different direction recently, ya know? COLE I noticed that, yeah. Once Landon is finally, pensively inside the ring, Chioda calls for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* Turning on his heels, Bo goes right after Landon but before you know it he's slipped out underneath the bottom rope. And as boos rain down on Landon, Alf and Brickston take advantage by jumping Bohemoth from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Alf and Brickston hammer away on the back of the bigman, then take turns laying in right hands in the corner. All the while Landon lurks on the floor, as Brickston delivers a hard right hand. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Alf. And a right hand from Brickston. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop by Alf. But as Brickston continues laying into Bo, Maddix sneaks back inside and pulls Alf away into a schoolboy... COLE Wait a minute, quick cover... 1... 2-NO! Quickly out, Alf scrambles for Maddix who again goes to the outside. This time Alf is right after him though and just when La Cucaracha thinks it's okay to point to his head and show how smart his is, Alfdogg slugs him from behind with a double axehandle! Down goes Landon, mocked by Alf, while in the ring a whip is reversed sending Brickston into a corner, where Bohemoth delivers a hard clothesline! COLE Boy the action is going to be hard to call here, as we've got a fight in the ring and a fight on the floor. PRL Well at least you don't have Coach out here dragging you down with his 'urbanisms'. COLE True dat. Bohemoth picks Brickston out of the corner, scooping him over his shoulder and running him out looking for a powerslam. Brickston slides down the back though, stomping the back of the knee. As Bo falls to the other, Brickston hits the ropes. But he gets knocked down on the rebound with a crowd-popping clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... No! On the outside, Landon is sent into the barricade by a whip from Alfdogg. Inside, Bohemoth begins to offload with right hands on Brickston. The punches back Brickston into a corner, where Bo continues to pound away before whipping Brickston across. Brickston puts a foot up to stop himself in the corner though, then throws back his elbow to catch Bo running in. COLE Good awareness there by Brickston. With Vitamin X encouraging him to "stay on him", Brickston delivers a big boot to the chest to knock Bohemoth back a couple of steps. Brickston them comes out of the corner, knocking Bo down with a big side elbow attack. Brickston stays on the attack, until Alf slides back in and stomps him in the back of the head. PRL You've gotta keep eyes in the back of your head in this kind of match, especially with guys like Alfdogg and Maddix. They'll take any opening they see. Alf clubs away at Brickston, before sending him off the ropes. Back elbow knocks Brickston, setting him up as Alfdogg comes off the ropes... and trips! Not through dumb luck, but by the hands of Landon Maddix, who drags him outside and returns fire with a whip into the barricade! MADDIX Yeah, how'd you like that old man!? COLE Old man!? PRL Well, now, let's not sugar coat it. Berating the veteran Alf, Landon climbs to the apron... and seconds later is sent flying as Bohemoth knocks him back to the floor! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" Bohemoth then turns and manages to duck a clothesline from Brickston, scooping him as he rebounds off the ropes and drilling him with a Powerslam! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... No! Bohemoth backs Brickston up in a corner with some more right hands as referee Chioda tries in vain to get him to open up the fist. The bigman only steps when Vitamin X reaches into the ring and grabs his ankle, distracting him long enough for Brickston to deliver a knee to the ribs. Brickston then pitches Bo through the ropes and follows him out to the floor. COLE And now all four men on the floor, with no disqualifications, what a chaotic main-event here tonight on HeldDOWN! PRL This is how it needs to be. Let the best man win, so I can beat the best man later. As the brawl continues on one side between Brickston and Bohemoth, on the other Alf decides to throw Landon back in. COLE And now we've got the leader of Cucaracha Internacional and the leader of the Deadly Alliance in there. First time since their Money In The Bank Semi-Final I believe. Alf delivers a couple of forearms, then takes Landon up and down with a quick back suplex. He follows up with a legdrop off the ropes and looks for the cover... 1... 2... No! Side headlock is applied by Alf, keeping half an eye on the fight between Brickston and Bohemoth as he does so. Maddix fights his way out with some elbows and shoots Alfdogg off the ropes, but Alf is able to knock him down with a shoulder tackle coming back. Coming off the ropes, Alf delivers a second shoulder tackle as Maddix scrambles to his feet. And a third time he charges... only for Landon to cut him off with a forearm shot. It's then Landon who hits the ropes, before almost hitting the lights courtesy of a big BAAAAACK bodydrop! PRL That's never fun. Alf grabs Landon by the arm and sends him into a corner with an irish whip. After addressing the boos of the crowd with an "up yours" gesture Alf then follows in. Throwing his feet up Landon looks to block, but Alfdogg is too smart for that and catches him! Holding the ankles he pulls Landon off the turnbuckles in preparations for a powerbomb. But Landon counters with a hurricanrana, pulling Alf forward face-first into the top turnbuckle! COLE Ooh! Very innovative counter right there. PRL See Maddix has got plenty of ability, when he's not acting like a goof. Which isn't too often. With the Deadly Alliance's figurehead dazed in the corner Landon sweeps away Alf's leg to drop him onto his seat, then delivers a hard kick to the chest against the bottom turnbuckle. And a second. Before placing a boot against his throat and choking away. As this is going on, Bohemoth has Brickston up on the floor, looking for a place to drop him. Before he can do so, Vitamin X rushes over and causes a distraction, allowing Brickston to slip out the back and shove Bohemoth shoulder-first into the ringpost! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE And again Vitamin X coming to Brickston's aid, which unfortunately the referee can't do much about seeing as there's no disqualifications. PRL You know, I never liked that guy. Brickston rolls back into the ring, ambushing Landon from behind. With double axehandles he drops Landon to his knees, before taking a swing at Alfdogg as well. As Alf rolls to the apron, Brickston spins Landon around and delivers a snap suplex, for the cover... 1... 2... No! Brickston leads Landon to his feet, but gets surprised with an arm-wringer to escape his clutches, setting up an irish whip. Hitting the corner closest to Alf, Brickston is then hampered from escaping by a grab of the leg, leaving him prey to a diving forearm attack in the corner. To reward his helping hand, Alf then has Brickston thrown right at him by La Cucaracha. Hit in the stomach by Brickston's shoulder, down goes Alf, allowing Landon to school-boy the Californian... 1... 2... No! Quickly up, Brickston is caught with three quick forearms, then a straight kick to the chest. When he shrugs those off though, Landon isn't quite so attack-minded and tries to cut a deal. PRL I could think of worse ideas in this situation. Of course it still ain't gonna work, but I could think of worse. Shockingly, Brickston turns down the offer and boots Landon in the gut to earn him his first positive reaction in forever. Brickston sends Maddix off the ropes, swinging and missing with a clothesline. And a swing and a miss with the elbow as well. Storming back, Landon leaps at Brickston and lands the knees on the thighs. As he pushes off for the Thesz Plant however, Brickston gives him a little extra elevation and coverts it into a HUGE Powerslam variation!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" VITAMIN X YES! COVER, COVER!! COLE Vitamin X thinks it's over, are we gonna see Brickston back in the bigtime? Brickston does just as he's told... 1... 2... Shoulder up! PRL Nah. Not yet. It'll take more than that, trust me. Vitamin X gets on the referee's case about the count, while Brickston takes it out on Landon with some stomps. Brickston then drags Landon back up and sends him into a corner with a shove. Charging with a shoulder, Brickston then sends Landon into the opposite corner. Same again, only this time raises a knee for Brickston to clatter into. As Brickston staggers out, Landon goes to the second rope, connecting with a Front Missile Dropkick! COLE La Cucaracha with a little bit of flight. PRL Does he even know what that nickname means? COLE Well I assume it's more to emphasise that he's tough and resilient than it is to imply that he's... PRL Smelly? Dirty? Disease ridden? Cover by Landon... 1... 2... No! Quickly, Landon gets to his feet ready to follow up. As he does so Alf sneaks back into the ring though, bundling Maddix to the floor and dropping a knee on Brickston, before covering... 1... 2... No! Back in slides Landon to dump Alfdogg outside. Turning to Brickston, La Cucaracha then drives his body-weight across the chest with a double stomp, dropping out with the follow-up back senton and reaching back for a leg... 1... 2... No! COLE Brickston keeps on kicking out here, as Alfdogg and Maddix trade turns on trying to get the pin in this one fall match. Rolling in again Alfdogg marches right up to Landon and shoves him in the chest. Not taking to that kindly, Maddix shoves him right back. So Alf goes ahead and slaps him in the face! The Virginia crowd like that one and are more than happy to see the two suddenly start trading off on right hands. COLE Here we go! PRL It had to break down to brass tacks sooner or later, I'm just glad it's between these two. Ah hell, who am I kidding, I don't care either way. Throw Brickston in there to get his ass kicked too while we're at it, why not? *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Landon breaks away and hits a chop. *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" And Alf responds, drawing a girly scream from Landon who's forced to go to the eyes. MADDIX Don't DO that! COLE He doesn't like those chops, Champ. PRL I'll bear that in mind. Suddenly, Alf and Landon's attentions turn, as Bohemoth returns to the fray and mows them down with a Double Clothesline!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Fired up, Bohemoth winds up by the ropes, managing to hiptoss an oncoming Brickston up and over the top rope! Vitamin X rushes to his man's aid, while Bohemoth sizes up his remaining opponents. First to his feet, unfortunately for him, is Landon who gets takes up and emphatically DOWN with the Front Spinebuster!! Bohemoth then delivers a boot to Alf, doubling him up for a big Powerbomb! COLE This crowd are on their feet! Landon is hurt, Alf is hurt and PR, we might be about to see it! PRL Oh the humanity. Bohemoth stalks around his fallen opposition for a few seconds, teasing the crowd before he finally gives them what they want. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here it comes! Bending down, Bohemoth grabs Landon by the hair and hauls him to his feet. Poor Landon has no choice but to go with The Meterosexual Monster's wishes, a scoop up into the arms signalling the end. Bohemoth's expression turns from focus to fuzzy though, as when he turns around... *CRACK!* ...he gets WAFFLED with a steel chair by Brickston!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL OH! Big chairshot, and perfectly legal. COLE Wait a second, Landon's on top! 1... 2... *CRACK!* A chairshot to the back breaks up Maddix's opportunistic pin, Brickston standing tall with the weapon as Vitamin X applauds gleefully on the outside. COLE Two big shots with that steel chair from Brickston have changed the tide. And I'm pretty sure Vitamin X was the one who handed Brickston that chair in the first place. PRL Doesn't really matter. So long as he's got that chair, Brickston's in the ideal position to win this thing. With only one man left to hit, Brickston wields the chair waiting for Alfdogg to get back up. Impatiently he yells at Alf, barely able to contain himself, until finally Alf is up, at which point he charges and takes a big swing... ...NO!! Alf ducks his head and at the same time manages to backdrop Brickston over the top, chair and all!! PRL You know, if he wasn't such a putz. With Brickston disposed off, Alf watches Bohemoth recovering. Waving him to his feet, Alf then unloads with the SUPERKICK~! and falls on top... 1... 2... NO! COLE Alf a half a second away from another shot at the World Title. And look at the look of frustration on his face, you just know how much he wants that #1 contendership after the way things went at November Reign. PRL By that, I assume you mean him getting his ass pinned 1, 2, 3 fair and square? COLE He pushed you all the way though. PRL Sure. Doesn't mean he didn't lose in the end. Alf pulls Bohemoth back up, looking surprised to recieve help from Maddix as he does so. Despite a wary look the two put aside their difference to execute a double irish whip, looking for a double team. Not so much off the same page but not even reading the same book, Landon goes for a hiptoss while Alf ducks his head for a backdrop. Bo isn't going anywhere from the hiptoss and boots Alfdogg in the chest to snap him upright. He then feeds Alf into a front facelock by Landon, before breaking off... and hitting a SPEAR~! on Maddix... who in turn DDT's Alfdogg!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE How about two for the price of one!? The crowd erupt as Bohemoth slaps at his chest in his fired-up state. Slowly Landon begins to get back up and Bohemoth stalks him, before taking his head off with the MURDERLINE~!!~1!!~ PRL OH MY! COLE Hey, that's my line! PRL Sorry. COLE ...EXPLOSIVE clothesline, is that enough!? Bohemoth thinks so as he hooks the leg... 1... 2... ALF BREAKS IT UP! COLE Boy, where'd Alf get that from after the DDT? Grabbing Alf by the hair, Bohemoth unloads with a right hand. A second. And a third. Putting Alf on dream street the bigman then sees the opening, scooping him into the arms looking for the Erotic Awakeni... NO! Alf fights with elbows, catching Bo in the temple enough times to force him to drop him. Once on his feet, Alf quickly connects with a boot to buy an extra second, then comes off the ropes with an STO takedown! 1... 2... No! Alfdogg backs into a corner, going to the middle rope. Before he can leap though, Bohemoth charges at him and delivers a YAKUZA KICK TO THE CHEST!!! PRL Dayyum! Alf's leg ends up hooking between the ropes, leaving him hung precariously over the outside of the ring. The outside suddenly seems a much more welcoming place though, once Bohemoth pulls him back inside and into his arms, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B!! PRL Go ahead and cover him! Before Bo can do so though, in all the commotion Brickston is back in and nails Bohemoth in the back of the head with a double axehandle. Brickston then bundles himself through Bo and onto Alf as best he can trying to get the cover. Both men wind up stacked on Alfdogg's shoulders though, leaving Chioda unsure of what to do. Seeing the situation, Landon suddenly DIVES on top of the pile and urges for Chioda to hurry up and count... COLE Wait a second... 1... 2... Alf kicks... 3!!!!! ...but trapped under three bodies, he simply can't kick out! *DINGDINGDING!* PRL Huh? COLE ...that's it... but... wait, who won!? Good question. One which even referee Mike Chioda seems to be asking as he gives the signal for the bell but no official decision. Landon Maddix doesn't need one though as he's already going wild celebrating. Leaping to the floor he hugs Megan and punches the sky, despite the clear look of confusion on Megan's eyes. Seeing this, Vitamin X rushes over to the referee trying to make sure Maddix didn't win. Chioda doesn't agree, but he doesn't disagree either. PRL You've gotta be kidding me. How the hell could they screw up something so simple as this?! First guy to get the pin's the number one contender, simple... COLE But, there were three guys making the pin thou... PRL ...so who won the damn match then!?! Out of his chair, the World Champion has his hands on his hips as nobody seems to know what's going on. Even Maddix has stopped his celebrations now and marches around the ring to where Chioda is being yelled at by Vitamin X. Landon makes things worse by adding his yelling to the mix, Bohemoth up too with only Alf not arguing, due to being groggy on the mat. Eventually, with no less than four people yelling at him and angry looks being directed his way by PRL, Chioda then shocks everyone by leaving the ring and heading to the back, unable to make the call with everyone pressuring him! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL Oh, son of a bitch! As Chioda leaves, Brickston and Bohemoth decide to settle matters by exchanging right hands. Landon is happy to throw his hands up and say to hell with it all though, dragging Megan off confident to get assurances that he won, as he thinks. COLE Well I really don't know what to say... PRL I do. This sucks! COLE ...and we're almost out of time, I don't think we're going to get this resolved tonight. Folks, join us next week from San Juan, hopefully we'll get this mess cleared up by then at least. Goodnight from HeldDOWN~! Brickston and Bohemoth continue to slug it out, as we FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
