Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COLE Barack Obama and John McCain are fighting their way to Washington DC but it looks like the OAOAST HeldDOWN has beat ‘em there! The people have chosen HeldDOWN~! COACH Yo jokes is as dry as your mama’s rotten stankhole. Go and fix me up a sammich and some waffles, and think about your punkbitchery. COLE This week the OAOAST attempts to further insult your intelligence by featuring new OAOVW talent when existing wrestlers on the roster are rarely if ever used, having battle a royal to decide number one contendership featuring several of our top stars and several performer with such horrid records and poor track records of wrestling on this show that they hardly have any business being employed much less competing for a world title, we'll also make our latest effort at justifying having four singles titles when hardly any are ever defended on TV, and we attempt to paint Los Conquistadors as a tag team you shouldn't change the channel on by get this...giving them voodoo magic powers! And letting them speak English to talk about their voodoo magic powers! Boy, its wild and crazy here in the OAOAST! Can it get any wackier? I don't know I just may end up wearing a funny hat! *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you As "Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)" blares in the background, The Love Doctors entertain the OAOAST Marks™ with their exploits, gyrating to the music as Dr. Max Anderson does a strip tease for a lucky young lady. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by fellow Love Doctor Steven Pigley…from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 225 pounds… DR. MAX AAAAAAAANDERSON! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Max gives the crowd a big thumbs up as readies for his encounter, loosening up in the ring as “The World Is Mine” by David Guetta replaces the musical styling of the late Robert Palmer. BUFFER His opponent is the 21-year-old prodigy from Manhattan, weighing tonight at 207 pounds… SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR REIGER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" For a young man with a ton of potential but hasn’t done much yet, Reiger has a rather elaborate entrance with flashing spotlights and his initials illuminated on the stage. Once in the ring, Spencer rips open the hoody and poses on the top rope. COLE I must say, Coach, with developmental contracts nowhere close to the kind of money even the lowest level performer in the OAOAST makes, I wonder how Spencer Reiger is able to afford such an entrance. COACH Spencer’s a prodigy, Cole. A One Man Triple Threat with his looks, skills and charisma. He’s a special talent. If wrestling had a legitimate draft Spencer Reiger would be a sure-fire #1 pick and everybody knows how well paid #1 picks are. COLE Be that as it may, it was a week ago when Spencer Reiger walked out on teammates, Los Conquistadors and the Last Kings of Scotland, during a 10 man tag against The Love Doctors, D*LUX and Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy, Tim Cash. HeldDOWN~! Last Week Jumping off the turnbuckles Reiger can't believe the incompetence of his partners and stands over them yelling. Spencer then looks up and throws up his hands again, this time saying to heck with it all and walking out on his team! COACH We went over this last week, Mikey. Spencer knew he was on a sinking ship and saved himself. Even though he was superior talent, 5 against 1 are terrible odds. By the way, Cole, have you ever wondered how tag teams figure out which guy should compete in singles matches? COLE No. COACH Well I too have pondered that question and the answer is actually quite simple. The guy with the most success feels pity on the less fortunate one in the team, so he lets his partner have the spotlight in singles bouts. In our case tonight, Steven Pigley is by far the most success doctor, hosting a radio program, etc. Speaking of which, Dr. Steven Pigley plugs his show around ringside, asking fans to go online to "Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio!" * DINGDINGDING * Reiger pounces on Anderson as the bell sounds, clubbing the Love Doctor across the shoulders. Anderson blocks a turnbuckle smash and violently introduces Reiger to the buckle instead. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Prodigy staggers out of the corner and into a series of SPINNING BACKFISTS, followed by a cover. ONE… TWO… And only two. Rattled as though Spencer Reiger was, it wasn’t enough to keep him down for the count. The Doctor of Love plants New York’s Finest in the center of the ring with a suplex, then sprints off the ropes to deliver a BIG SPLASH…but Spencer gets the KNEES UP and makes Anderson a VICTIM OF THE REVOLUTION! COLE Devastating half-nelson backbreaker right there. It could be all here. Reiger hooks the leg following the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Spencer applies a reverse chin lock, but rest holds are for pussies, so Max answers with a JAWBREAKER and a quick SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Reiger barely kicks out in time. But Anderson makes him regret it by using his head as a human punching bag. Whipped to the corner Reiger scales the turnbuckles and performs a BACKFLIP off the top, landing behind a charging Max Anderson before dropping him on the back of his head with the KATAHAJIME SUPLEX~! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Can I get a damn on that, Coach? COACH Not just a DAYUM~!, baby boy, but a GODDAYUM~! Reiger takes a bow to a chorus of boos, then drives Anderson face-first into the mat with a FORWARD RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR REIGER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger’s hand is raised as “The World Is Mine” fires up. COLE An impressive outing after a very questionable one last week by Spencer Reiger. His attitude may leave a lot to be desired, but there’s no denying this kid’s got talent. COACH That’s why he’s a prodigy, you idiot! COLE My hat is a baseball! We cut backstage, to find OAOAST President Josie Baker talking with the SENIOR senior official of professional wrestling, Clem Buzzlefoxer. Josie seems to be trying to coach the poor guy how to make his count faster, which doesn't go well as he over-exerts his elbow in the process. Walking up behind this interesting conversation is Landon Maddix, who claps his hands getting Josie's attention (but not Clem's, hearing isn't what it used to be), to Megan Skye's embarrassment. MADDIX My my, if it isn't Senator Palin and Senator McCain! How's the campaign going? CLEM Who... who are you? MADDIX Yes yes, I admire what you did for this country greatly. You have my vote sir. Landon shakes Clem's hand, confusing the poor old geezer into thinking he really must be running for office, which explains the smile on his face as he totters off. JOSIE Did you want something? MADDIX Josie, can I ask you a question? Why in the hell are we dedicating 30 minutes of every show talking about a children's school-election that only effects about 12 people on this planet? We've got 80 wrestlers claiming unemployment while some Arabian blowhard is droning on about some eight year old girl? What the hell kinda wrestling promotion is this!? JOSIE Wel... MADDIX Sorry, that wasn't actually my question, I just felt like venting. No, I came to talk to you about The Halloween Spectacular. I've talked it over with everybody and I want James Blonde and Faqu representing me in the Tag Title match. JOSIE You mean 'representing Cucaracha Internacional'? MADDIX Well... yeah, yeah, same thing. JOSIE Right. Consider it done. That wasn't a question though. MADDIX Oh, it doesn't matter. Landon promptly walks off from a now equally confused Josie Baker, past the HeldDOWN~! interview backdrop which wakes Josh Matthews up from his game of Top Trumps with a member of the OAOAST production team. JOSH LANDON! Landon, sorry to interrupt but, can I get an interview? About The Halloween Spectacular? MADDIX What do you wanna hear? JOSH Huh? MADDIX Well, do you want me to talk about how I'm a three-time World Champion across two seperate companies? How I've beaten the best that the OAOAST has to offer? How I'm leading the group that over the next few days is finally going to prove it's the most dominant in the OAOAST, when we hold the World Titles in singles, tag team and six-man tag competition? And how after waiting so long, it's finally my time to regain the OAOAST World Title I had robbed from me one year ago? Because it'd be true. Landon shrugs. MADDIX Or, do you want the character assassination treatment? Do you want me to talk about how John Brickston has all the charisma of a jar of mayonnaise and that the most interesting thing he's come up with in his entire career to change that perception is stop using his first name? Or how Bohemoth is so busy fending off little girls harbouring teen crushes on him, those well-oiled muscles of his are probably going to be too tired to drag those ridiculous sunglasses off of his head, let alone win a World Championship? How about Alfdogg, the old guard of the OAOAST with a wise old head on a pair of old shoulders carried around on his old knees, being quite literally old news? Or of course, I could lay into Tha Puerto Rican... but, then again, he's really a walking joke as it is, so what untrodden territory is there, really? Landon shrugs again. MADDIX You tell me what angle you want and I'll give it to you. I'll tell you whatever you wanna hear. The fact is, all that's going to matter is what happens at The Halloween Spectacular. Five Man Prism Match? Everybody knows it should be me and the World Champion, I should be the sole number one contender, simple as that. Everybody saw it, clear as day, I was on top in the fatal four way. Well, I'll just have to be on top again, won't I? And, I will be... whether you want to hear that, or not. Landon and Megan again make a quick exit and we fade out to our first of many commercial breaks. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 (edited) -THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN OAOAST ADVERTISEMENT- Do you like wrestling? KID FAN I sure do! Do you have the internet? KID FAN Who doesn't!? Then the OAOAST just got even better!! Go to OAOAST.com to register now for OAOAST Fantasy, the official Fantasy game of the OAOAST! (It's like that NFL thing.) It's completely free and the prizes reflect this fact! CHOOSE your roster of OAOAST Superstars! ADHERE to your $50m budget! GAMBLE on your superstars appearing on TV once every two months! IT'S THAT SIMPLE! Take watching the OAOAST to a whole other level! KID FAN Holy crap, that's Doctor Steven Pigley, that means he gets appearance points! This is the best HeldDOWN~! EVER! You'll never look at Syndicated the same way again! KID FAN Biff Atlas in the main event!? I'm spending EVERY Saturday or Sunday watching the OAOAST now! Just follow the links and fill in the forms to change your outlook on the OAOAST, forever! OAOAST Fantasy- It's Fantastical! Out of the commercial, we find ourselves with the returning Maggie Nerdly! And she has a microphone, which means she must be about to interview somebody. Probably Bohemoth, since he's standing right next to her. MAGGIE Hey, Maggie Nerdly here, picking up those hot Appearance Points for ya'll out there in cyberspace, but also here to talk to my guest right now, Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH Hey, good to have you back. How you doing? MAGGIE Thanks to a mutual associate of ours who'll remain unnamed, I've been better. Realising he's hit a sore spot, Bo wisely leaves it at that. MAGGIE Now, The Halloween Spectacular is in eight nights and you're in the main-event, a five man elimination match for the World Heavyweight Championship. Do you think you'll have what it takes to survive four other opponents and come out with the World Title? BOHEMOTH You know Maggie, I've worked long and hard to get into a position to be challenging for the World Heavyweight Championship. I've stepped out of another man's shadow and had to work my way from the bottom up to get my name mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Alfdogg and Tha Puerto Rican. I'm not kidding myself, it's gonna be more hard work at The Halloween Spectacular, no doubt about it. I'm stepping into that ring with four other guys who all want the same thing I do. But, do I think I've got what it takes? You better believe it. See I've accomplished a lot along the way to this. I've beaten big names. Faced big challenges. And I know I'm ready. Bo removes the sunglasses from over his head and places him in his pocket. BOHEMOTH The fact is I proved I belong at the very top when I beat the very best the OAOAST has ever offered Zack Malibu, not once but twice, one of them at the biggest stage of them all AngleMania. I proved to myself and to everybody, I'm World Title material. You ask Zack if I've got what it takes. Bo smiles to himself. BOHEMOTH Don't just take his word for it though. You ask anyone who's been in the ring with me before. If they're honest, they'll tell you that I'm the guy to watch at The Halloween Spectacular. As far as the odds go? Chances are I'll be a pretty marked man. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Bohemoth replaces the sunglasses back on his head, flicking them down before he walks off. Stables Battle Royal 2 Winners face at Halloween Spectacular Winner becomes #1 Contender for November Reign In Crowd vs. Enterprise vs. Deadly Alliance vs. Cucaracha Internacional TONIGHT Edited October 24, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 -The scene fades in from that AWESOME last segment to the office of none other than OAOAST President JOSIE BAKER!~! The fans erupt as Josie paces through the office, her ever burning cigarette clutched in her right hand, and a cell-phone held to her ear in her left. Following close behind her is Sophie Grey, clutching at her clipboard. JOSIE ...Austin? Are you done?....A...Are you...Fuck.... -Josie lowers the phone and stares off into space for a few moments before raising the phone back to her ear. JOSIE ...Ya done now?....Good. Now let ME, YOUR boss, tell YOU what's happening. You and Mickey Gillpatrick were supposed to have your hardcore match at Zero Hour, correct?...But since you are both just SO eager to fight, you had to get yourselves arrested for assault. Now, you've lucked out, as Gillpatrick's work visa expired and he had to go back to Ireland, but believe me...You WILL be wrestling at the Halloween Spectacular, comprenez-vous? -The fans go insane! Sophie's eyes go wide, just before she jots something down on the clipboard. JOSIE ...And if you even THINK about fighting ANYONE before your match?...You're fired. Simple as that....Yeah, bye. -Josie shuts the phone and turns towards Sophie, who simply shrugs. Josie shakes her head and raises her hand. JOSIE Don't even start, Sophie...I don't wanna hear it from you... -Suddenly, the door swings open, and in walks the OAOAST Intercontinental Champion, JEREME GREY!! The cheers are off the charts as Jereme slings the title belt over his shoulder. He smiles at his sister and his cousin, who just storms straight up to him. JOSIE Oh Good! The CHAMP is here! Thank FUCKING God! -Jereme glances over to Sophie, who just shakes her head. He looks back to Josie, who takes a small drag off her cigarette. JEREME Is there a probléme, Josie? JOSIE Of course there's a fucking problem, Jereme! Where the hell have you been?! You haven't shown your face in going on three weeks! JEREME I was... JOSIE I fucking vouched for you! How do you think it makes me look when my #1 guy is not only fucking ONLY defending his title against ONE guy, but after the title defense, he takes a FUCKING MONTH off! Are you serious?! Jesus CHRIST, Jereme! JEREME ...Wait...aren't you the President of the company? JOSIE Of course I am. JEREME ...Then why would you need to vouch for me? -Josie takes another drag off her cigarette and shakes her head. JOSIE To the board. Anyway, this is what's happening: YOU are defending your title at the Halloween Spectacular against... -Josie smirks and takes another drag off her cigarette. She blows the smoke out the corner of her mouth. JOSIE ...well, you'll find out then, won't you? -Jereme cracks his neck slightly and sneers. Josie just stares at him. JOSIE ...Oh...we're done here. -Jereme glares at Sophie, who simply shrugs. JOSIE ...Go. -Jereme shakes his head and walks away. Josie turns and smirks at Sophie, who shakes her head. SOPHIE ...Not cool, Josie. JOSIE Shut up. -The screen fades to black... COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 Maroon 5's Makes Me Wonder (I still think that should be changed to Love Lockdown or at the least Whatever You Like) brings its Top 40 style to the nation's capital, and the audience out of their seats! The entrance doors slide away, allowing the much adored team of D*LUX to appear on stage. Both dressed to wrestle, the favorite team of teenage girls everywhere pumps up the crowd into further frenzy. With the crowd rooting his team on, Tyler thumbs his hands against a set of D*LUX action figures. They give each other a fist pump before heading towards the squared circle. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen....D*LUX! COLE D*LUX's good friend Leon Rodez with a chance to fight for a chance to fight for the world title later on tonight in our mainevent. That was not one of my better sentences. But, you understand what I meant there. Its a big match, and it gives their good friend Leon Rodez a chance of a lifetime. A chance to move onto November Reign to face Tha Puerto Rican for the OAOAST world title! COACH Or Landon Maddix. Or Alfdogg. Or Brickston. Or Da Coach, you ain’t never know when DA KING is gonna raise up and buck shots at ol boy. D*LUX make their way down the entrance ramp, performing the difficult task of slapping hands while trying to avoid fans that are just a bit too touchy feely. Finally they slide into the ring and exchange high fives, then pass on nods to the cheering audience. A microphone is produced for both men and they begin what may very well be their first in ring promo in a loooooooong ass time. TYLER We don't like to insult our fellow athletes that much. But we have to pose this question. What type of fools are Los Conquestiadors? Showtime and I thought we dealt with them last week in Puerto Rico. I guessed, and Shayne guessed that'd be the last we heard from those two clowns. But then we got a hold of this video from OAOAST.com. Take a look. FROM OAOAST.COM CONNECTING THE OAOAST MARKS™ TO THE OAOAST SUPERSTARS We see Los Conquesitadors sitting inside a room lit only be the orange glow of a makeshift camp fire. Dos and Uno are hidden inside the spooky shadows, looking more intimidating than ever before. Not that that says a whole lot, but work with me, plz. DOS What is behind our sudden change for the better? Months ago we were sent to Hati on a promotional tour for this company. Haiti is a country where the impoverished make due with eating mud pies, and the wealthy make due with making the impoverished eat bullets from their guns. We accurately surmised that this company was attempting to kill us. They sent us to Haiti to die! They didn’t want our promotional talents, they wanted our blood to fill the waters of Haiti. But we didn’t die. We became stronger than ever before! We had to fend for ourselves and fight our way back to the USA. This meant we had to arm ourselves with the most dangerous weapons of all. The human mind. In Haiti we learned of rich voodoo traditions. These are traditions that have brought down many emperors and world leaders. The black arts. Black magic. These are the kinds of things you might dismiss, but that we have come to recognize as the power of the unholy mother. We learned from the masters and we survived. Since then we have been studying societies of wicked deeds and opprobrious transgressions. The tables have turned now. Understand, the hunted have become the hunters and the power is in our hands. You will all perish for what you’ve done to us and the laughter you’ve had at our expense. UNO More will be revealed in the weeks to come. For now you should know there will be a human sacrifice on HeldDOWN. OAOAST.com COACH Nothin wrong practicing a little pagan religion. And bravo to their english skills. They don't even sound like they got an accent anymore! COLE I doubt they were even Mexican to begin with. SHAYNE Uno, Dos, we don’t know who you’re fooling, but if you’re masters of black magic, then we’re the masters of the universe! We don’t care if you wanna act like some kind of voodoo obsessed freaks, that’s your problem. But our fans, don’t really need to see you jamming needles and pins into dolls of us. Showtime holds up the "action pack" D*LUX toys. SHAYNE Do you see these dolls? TYLER I kind of like the term action figurine. SHAYNE These are for playing with on the interactive OAOAST action play sets, and lifelike ring, available at Toys R Us and OAOASTShop. They aren’t for puncturing holes in so our awesome fans can send us messages wondering if the devil’s consumed our souls. You’re freaking our fans out with your stunts and that isn’t cool. So we’re asking you to cut the junk out! But, we bet you won’t. TYLER If Krista has taught us one thing, its that she looks great in red. SHAYNE Really great in red. Really, really great in red. Like a Pamela Anderson from Baywatch. With nicer lips I think. TYLER And she’s also taught us if you got a problem with someone the best way to deal with it is to get right up in their face. If that doesn’t work then you’ve got to get your fists right up in their face! How about it? Its only gotta be one of you facing one of us? What do you say? The surreal dance ballad of Fedde Le Grands's answers the challenge of the greatest tag team to come out of Michigan. The entrance stage fills with gold smoke that's penetrated by piercing beams of purple light. Into this smokey and heavily illuminated scene emerges Dos, attired in a feather filled voodoo headdress. He drops to his knees becoming entirely shrouded inside the overwhelming orange smoke and offers a chant to his strange and mysterious gods. COACH Mikey, do you think one of D*LUX could be the human sacrifice Uno was talking about? COLE I know you're only buying into this to annoy me. Even you could not be so stupid as to believe Los Conquestiadors were sent to Haiti to die and came back as students of black magic. Dos ventures down the ring ramp, with his mouth still spewing his voodoo prayers to the mother of destiny. The audience as well as D*LUX is unimpressed as they both over him a thumbs down for his shenanigans. As he enters the ring, Shayne decides to face him down, and Tyler takes up position on the outside. *DING DING DING* Dos’ charges across the ring, full of vigor and fire. But Showtime is able to meet him by overtaking him with a hip toss. The luchadore crashes into the canvas, shaking the ring and exciting nation’s capital. As Dos cringes with the agony tearing his body into two, the teenybopper bounces off the ropes. He leaps into the sky with his elbow crooked. However, Dos slides out the way and the cutie from Detroit is left to crash into the canvas. While the fans recoil in horror, Dos begins a low rumbling chant. Annoyed with Dos’ continued black magic antics, Shayne puts on an outraged face and charges his foe. But the forearm he throws falls unusually and mysteriously short of the golden attired brawler. Giving Showtime little chance to wonder what gives with his errant strikes, Dos peppers his face with a series of closed fist. COLE Before you even start, Dos has no voodoo powers. None! Hitting someone in the face does not equate to black magic mastery. If it did Mike Tyson would be the lord and rule of the underworld. Dos’ punches cast a cloud of dizziness over his foe, and its because of this that he’s able to dart towards the ropes. But as Dos returns, the cloud seems to have lifted and Showtime springs upwards for a leapfrog. However the luchadore catches him in midair and drives him downwards with a devastating inverted atomic drop. The screams of anguish from Brave are long and drown out, and the females in attendance are beside themselves with misery. COACH The sexual fantasy of millions of high school girls just got torched. Expect a record number of absences at girl’s schools across the country. As Showtime continues struggle with the horrific anguish inflicted upon him, his foe utters more deranged chants in a strange foreign tongue. Once finished with his odd utterances, Dos springs towards Showtime and upends him with a hurricanrana. Senior referee Clem Buzzlefoxer drops to his knees for the count. ONE! TWO! Shayne lifts his shoulders off the canvas, giving the sold out DC audience much to cheer about. Frustrated with the slow count Dos lets out another deep foreboding voodoo chant. His words seem to work their black magic, as Clem immediately clutches his heart and gasps what’s almost his final breath. Fortunately, Dos spares Clem from having the nation’s capital being his final resting place. COLE Clem is 86 years old. That’s not even the heart he was born with. That’s not even the heart he had when he 66. That’s a carborator from a 65 Chevy. Meanwhile in the ring, both competitors have risen to their feet. But, Dos continues his surprising flurry of offense by peppering Shayne’s lean midsection with knee strikes. The attacks sink Brave to his knees and leaving him hacking and wheezing like a chain smoker. Dos takes advantage of his weakness by snaking his arms across Shayne’s neck in a front facelock. As the boyband hunk tries to break free of the hold, the luchadore guides him back upright. He hooks onto his right leg and in one swift motion throws him over with a release fisherman’s suplex. Brave comes down on the mat with a thud, and his hand goes right to a now sore and wounded back. “LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE!” the fans chant led on by Tyler. Latching onto Shayne’s silky hair, Dos drags his rival off the ring mat. Brave fights back with elbows to Dos’ face, drawing a sizable pop from the audience. But their joy is short lived, as Showtime is thrown back to the canvas by side belly to belly suplex. Mere seconds after he crashes downwards, Shayne is covered by the voodoo practiconer. Buzzlefoxer counts the fall… ONE! TWO ! Shayne again kicks out, which let’s his partner on the outside breathe a little easier. COLE You wonder if Leon Rodez is watching this match or if he’s busy watching footage to prepare for the big battle royal in tonight’s mainevent? COACH The hell kind of question is that? Dos could cast a spell that has Shayne’s eyes jump out they sockets and dance the Macarena and that dude Rodez would only be worrying if Shayne’s lack of eyes mean he can’t comment on whether his new finglerless gloves make him look gay. Tru story. “LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE!” Drawing on the cheers and support of his fanbase, Brave is able to slowly make his way towards his feet. But now upright he’s hammered by a wave of knife-edge chops from the voodoo student. Rather than go into the usual “whoo”ing the audience continues to sing Brave’s name and will him to fight. Their chants work as the Michigan native begins assailing his adversary with a painful mixture of chops and kicks. He weaknes Dos enough to attempt to irish whip him towards the ropes. But Dos reverses the hold and sends Brave into the cables. Showtime bounces back intending on running through his rival with a leaping lariat. But before he can even leave the ground, Dos catches him with a spinning knee lift that hurls Shayne back to the mat. Showtime lands with his hands coming over his wounded face, and Dos celebrating behind him. Once done lauding his own accomplishments, Dos covers Shayne for another fall… ONE! TWO! But, Shayne wills himself out the pinning situation. And the OAOAST Marks™ celebrate with glee. Less gleeful is Dos, and he casts a vile glare at the fearful referee. While Clem apologizes to avoid being turned into a sheep, Dos guides Shayne off the mats. He keeps him weakened with a pair of elbows to the midsection and then hurls him into the far corner. Showtime’s back hits hard against the ring posts. But that’s the least of his worries as Dos comes darting in on him only mere seconds later. Fortunately, the teen idol is able to meet Dos’ arrival with the KIDology (codebreaker) “YEAAAAA!” screams the audience as Tyler pumps his fists in jubilation. COLE Shayne Brave more than happy to take a page out of Krista’s book! For reasons that only make sense in the strange world of pro wrestling the move done by a one hundred eighty pound man has less effect than when done by a one hundred fifty pound woman, thus Dos quickly rolls to his feet with a lariat aimed at Showtime’s head. But the Tiger Beat hottie ducks beneath the attack and leaps onto the second rope. As Dos turns around he’s met with a springboard lariat! “Its Showtime, baby!” Shayne shouts to the roaring audience. Dos has no clue what Showtime involves but has little desire to witness it. Thus he stands in the corner chanting furiously. This proves to be a big mistake as Showtime nearly crushes him into dust with a stinger splash! As the audience continues to cheer, Dos goes staggering out the corner. He fails to notice his foe making a quick move to the top rope. This is too his infinite discredit as Shayne dismounts his perch to flatten him with a flying clothesline! COLE Santeria couldn’t save ya from that one, could it Dos? Santeria being an Afro-Cuban form of voodoo as well as a very good song by the band Sublime. Wishing he had more hands to tend to his numerous injured body parts, Dos scrapes his carcass off the canvas. Shayne gathers a head off steam on the ropes then surges forward to try and capture him with his signature running bulldog. But Dos finds the strength needed to counter this hold simply by shoving the former six man champion away. Shayen is unrelenting, however, and charges back at his foe. But the Mexican/New Mexican/Haitian/whatever the hell he is this year, greets him with a spinning back kick. But, Showtime catches onto his boot and sends him spinning round and round until he comes into the Shaynedrop! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” COLE There’s his Shaynedrop! There’s his…what the??? That sudden exclamation of shock comes due in massive part to the cloud of red smoke that suddenly surrounds the ring. The audience is suitably disturbed by the strange sight, and Tyler himself is rather unnerved, needing to escape into the ring. COACH The human sacrifice is now! The gates of hell have opened! Doom has arrived into the OAOAST! Repent ye sinners! Repent! Cole, I want to to know I’ve always sort of not hated you as much as I say I do. COLE Thank you. COACH And I once used ya toothbrush to polish my ben-wa balls. COLE I once used your tongue to polish my scrotum balls. Distracting us from that awful revelation is Uno, clad in full feathered Voodoo headdress, lowering himself from the ceiling. As the lights cycle through menacing purples and blues, Uno quickly rappels towards Brave. Both Showtime and the audience are mystified by the unusual trickery of Uno. But its only Shayne who has to wonder about being kidnapped as the baddest hombre on the planet wraps his legs around his neck. With a shockingly firm grip around Showtime’s body, Uno begins to rise back into the rafters. The fans are aghast with fear and alarm as Shayne struggles in vain to be of this grizzly crime. COACH He’s gonna sacrafice Shayne! Yo, if he’s successful and Shayne up and dies you think I might get one of them dope jean jackets he be rockin? Shits is fly! COLE Be serious! He’s not going to sacrifice him but this is still dangerous. And stupid. Stupidly Dangerous. Dangerously stupid. Tyler finally springs into action and leaps onto Shayne’s legs! There’s a monumental battle between Uno and The Tremendous one as they each stake their claim on Tyler’s soul. The audience sits on the edge of their seat watching the incredibly unusual sight of three grown men flying across a ring encased by smoke and highlighted by purple and blue lights. Uno barks orders to Tyler to release Shayne, and Tyler returns similar commands. Their bodies chaotically travel through the squared circle, sometimes appearing as they may burst right through the ropes and head into the stands. Eventually the strength of Tyler wins out and he rips his partner and best friend free of the treacherous voodoo follower. Together they scurry free of the ring, through the thick waves of smoke and back towards the entrance ramp. Along with a mystified audience they watch Uno hover in the air, shaking his fist and promising to complete his sacrifice. COACH How many points do I lose in OAOAST Fantasy for a failed human sacrifice? COLE You’re complaining about lost points? I made a trade with Melody, sending her no less than Zack, Krista, Sandman and Moneymaker for The Sooner Bruisers and Cuban Wall. I’m ruined! I'm ruined! WHYYYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYY? COACH Melody about to score some fantasy points with that Sandman trade 'cause J.Math is with the Deadly Alliance! The Sooner Bruisers? Nigga, you gay. Josh Matthews is backstage with the Deadly Alliance. JOSH OK, here with the Deadly Alliance, and Halloween a big night for the four of you, especially for you, Alfdogg, as you get another shot at Tha Puerto Rican's World title! ALF You know, Josh, I have to admit that was kind of clever a couple weeks ago, how those three other goofs all conspired to pin me in that Fatal 4-Way in attempt to push me out of the title picture. Unfortunately for those three, as well as PRL, I'm still going strong. The Deadly Alliance is still going strong. I showed Brickston last week what I'm capable of, and I'm gonna show 'em all next week, as I take my third OAOAST World title. JOSH And a big title defense for Thunderkid and Reject next week, as well. TK It's a big title defense, Josh, but it will be yet another successful one, as the Deadly Alliance continues to establish its dominance over all the other stables. Melissa pulls the mic over to her. MELISSA And let's see one of those other "women" stick their nose in the match, I might have to establish my dominance over one of them! Josh yanks the mic back as she finishes her sentence. REJECT Hey, little man! You better show some respect! JOSH You're a fine one to talk about respect towards women. REJECT You better watch your mouth. I still remember that cheap shot you took at me a couple months back. But that's OK...you're not the first announcer to go after my private parts. *crowd boos* JOSH I don't believe that about Maggie for a minute. REJECT Believe what you want, little man, but we all know the truth. Besides, I'm so over Maggie now. SANDMAN Yeah, she gave lousy head, anyways. REJECT ... TK JOSH OK, so...Alf, how's the search on that fifth DA member coming along? ALF We're taking our time, Josh...we've always got our eyes open on that ring, looking for the guy who has the right stuff to be a member of the Deadly Alliance. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. JOSH Well, that's it from back here, let's go back to the ring! FUCK YOU JOSH! I DIRECT THIS SHOW! HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR OAOAST WORLD TITLE 5 MAN PRISM MATCH PRL VS LANDON MADDIX VS BOHEMOTH VS BRICKSTON VS ALFDOGG OCTOBER 31srt COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 (edited) "YEOW!" "Money Talks" by AC/DC cranks up and THE ENTERPRISE, minus the Beverly Hills Blonds and the ladies, head to the ring dressed in their Sunday best. COLE Perhaps the odds on favorites to win tonight’s stables battle royal with all members entered, the Enterprise could be cashing in big the next two weeks, Coach. COACH And it could be a long two weeks for the In Crowd, Mikey. With all those huge egos in one group it's only a matter of time before they start blaming each other for their woes. I bet Zack's ready to throw everybody under the bus like he always does. Forget Terrell Owens. Zack Malibu is the real team obliterator! COLE Christian Wright and V.I.C.E. by his side, Theodore stands tall and full of pride with a hearty smile on his billion dollar face and a very clever IV Pennington/Holden pin on his lapel. THEODORE Here in the home of democracy, I'd like to send out a message that goes straight to the home of Anti-American, immorality. Los Angeles. Not to the entire city, overran with gang bangers and fruit selling immigrants, most of you won't live past 30 so its pointless to even address you. I'm talking to those who have a future. Those at Beverly Vista School. And I'm talking to them because I may fear Krista and her threats, but I fear a school led by Maya Duncan-Blanchard even more. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" WRIGHT Silence! THEODORE You all see the way Krista talks to her enemies don't you? You all hear the threats she made against myself and Mister Dick? You saw how she abused poor Abdullah last week? Nearly drowned him? What's to stop her daughter from doing the same thing? If little Joey doesn't want to play floor hockey on field day, but Maya does, what's to stop her from impaling him with a goalie stick? If little Cathy wants to sit at the cool girls' table and Maya deems her uncool, what's to top Maya from teaming up with one of her friends and double powerbombing her through a table? Her mother is violence prone and so is she. For your safety and your health vote JC Pennington. "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" THEODORE Washington, D.C., before you and the rest of the country hammer the final nail in the coffin of capitalism on November 4, the Enterprise is set to drive the stake into the hearts of the other small stable operators here in the OAOAST starting tonight with the battle royal where the final two participants will square off at the Halloween Spectacular to determine the #1 contender to the World Title. And I assure you the last men standing will come from my Enterprise. In addition to having the most entries, Mr. Wright and Ms. DeCenzo have concocted a winning strategy that guarantees the Enterprise both slots in the contenders bout next week. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE If they're so smart, maybe after the show Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo can visit the U.S. capital and fix our economy. COACH And help the little people? No way. THEODORE Oh, and what great pleasure I'll have when the heads of our competitors bow at my feet and kiss the ring of the only true messiah in the OAOAST! Because what I have sought for months is now within reach, that is for the Enterprise to be recognized as the premier organization. No longer will Zack Malibu be viewed as the franchise. That honor will belong to me. No longer will the In Crowd, Cucaracha Internacional and Deadly Alliance be mentioned in the same breath as the Enterprise. And no longer will those organizations dominate the main event scene. It'll be straight back down to the bottom rung of the ladder for all of them! BWAHAHA! COLE Oh, my God, Mikey! Imagine Zack Malibu curtain jerking AngleMania! THEODORE Now then, looking ahead to next week's Fatal 4 Way at the Halloween Spectacular for the One & Only World tag team championship. We now know joining Deadly Alliance members Reject and Thunderkid in that match will be James Blonde and Faqu representing Cucaracha Internacional and Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu likewise for the In Crowd. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright and Moneymaker shake their heads in disgust. V.I.C.E., meanwhile, are ready to crack some heads. Detective Tango Bosley in particular, eyes and veins on neck bulging! "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" THEODORE Believe me, after last week I want Zack too. But I don't expect to have that opportunity tonight because I'm afraid he'd eliminate himself rather than face me like a man being the coward that he is. BWAHAHA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH (laughs) How true is that, Cole? That's such a Zack thing to do. COLE It is not and you know it. THEODORE It's for that reason I have decided not to be one of the Enterprise's representatives next week. "BULL-SHIT!" "BULL-SHIT!" "BULL-SHIT!" THEODORE Direct your anger at Zack Malibu, ladies and gentlemen. If I thought we could have the match without Zack running around like a chicken to avoid facing me I would participate, but with your interests in mind I felt that was not possible. This bout has the potential to be an all-time classic and I do not wish to jeopardize that. COLE And Theodore Moneymaker says Zack Malibu is the coward? Give me a break. THEODORE That said, allow me to introduce to you the men that I know will proudly represent the Enterprise next week at the Halloween Spectacular... If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THEODORE "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays, as Molly Nerdly films Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, scroll down the aisle to a mixed reaction in jean shorts and matching silver vests. COLE No surprise here. Well, maybe just the vocal minority of Blonds supporters. A microphone is produced and people talk! SIMON Teddy, it'll be an honor to represent the Enterprise at the Halloween Spectacular. Ned and I been waiting patiently for another shot at the title we've held on 3 separate occasions, the second most in OAOAST history. With 3 other tough teams involved we can't guarantee a win, but we can promise you that we'll do everything and anything it takes to walk out with those belts once again around our waists. NED I can tell by the way you're looking at us you aren't too pleased we didn't dress up for the occasion, but hell, son, Simon and I were too damn excited about the opportunity we're presented with to have read the damn text message you sent. THEODORE So you got the text? SIMON We got it, Teddy. But we didn't need to read what we knew all along, that you’d choose the hottest tag team in sports entertainment to represent the Enterprise in the 4 way. NED I've been in a threesome before, but I ain't never been in no 4 way -- not that I recall, but that would the booze's fault -- so it'll be a first for the Handsome Hustler! THEODORE BWAHA! Oh, God, you guys are too much. Really you are. I thought dumb blonds were a stereotype, but here you prove it right because had you read the text you could've spared yourself the humiliation of learning on worldwide television you were NOT selected to represent the Enterprise. SIMON/NED COLE You gotta be kidding me. COACH What a shocker this is, Cole. THEODORE You blew TWO title shots in August. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Did you really expect I'd give you the chance to blow a third? You didn't even think you could win "with 3 other tough teams involved." We're this close from achieving our goal and I'll be damned if you two are gonna ruin it. SIMON Wait a minute, Teddy. I think... THEODORE I don't pay you to think. I pay you to win matches and championships, which you've both done a piss poor job doing the past year. You're lucky I haven't fired your asses for basically stealing my money in that time. The least you can do right now is join me in welcoming the team who signed a lucrative licensing agreement with the Enterprise to represent us at the Halloween Spectacular. Led by Holly Mann, COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY in association with the Enterprise presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters… THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Decked out in all leather, the Heavenly Rockers make their way ringside. Abdullah wearing a cowboy hat on top of his Arabic headdress. COACH DAYUM~! COLE What a slap in the face this is, to go with the Blonds' hated rivals. Moneymaker and company exchange handshakes with the Heavenly Rockers, except the BHB who are in a state of shock. ABDULLAH Brother Moneymaker, I thank you on behalf of the Heavenly Rockers for this tremendous opportunity you have blessed us with. And unlike dumb and dumber over there, Synth and Logan know they will leave the Halloween Spectacular with a big treat! LOGAN We're gonna indulge our sweet tooth with the World tag team title sayeth the Macho MACHO Mann~! SYNTH What he said, bitches! BOSLEY Ha-ha! Yeah! What he said, bitches! I love it. I fucking love these guys! When I roll into the club tonight, I'm rollin with you dudes, because you are awesome! MOLLY Surely this can not be true! Even if Ned and Simon have disappointed you as you say, they've being loyal members of your organization. I don't believe denying them of their dream is any proper way to treat them. Its terribly rude! WRIGHT Rudeness matters not! Loyalty matters not! Years of services matters not! Countless failures matter most, and I lament to speak these words, but your charges have those in spades. With tired performances and questionable work ethics they eroded the once vibrant soil of The Enterprise and have overridden our land with the weeds of failure. To endure their continued bastardization of The Enterprise name at such crucial junctures is an option not to be so swiftly taken. Mind your mouth, little girl, for it speaks only in the dullard tones of ignorance. BOSLEY Ha-ha! That's right, baby! You don't take crap from a female! It ain't the Alpha way, baby. MOLLY I will not be silenced by anything you have to say. I happen to know Ned and Simon's work ethic and talent goes far and above anyone standing within this ring and anyone watching on the monitors backstage. You must believe me! LOGAN Hey, hey, kid. This is a business, man, and we're gonna handle our business, damn! There's no hard feelings, Blonds. At least I hope not. Mister Moneymaker realizes what's good in the OAOAST, and what's bad in the OAOAST. I'm not gonna name names, because I don't name drop, but frankly the best tag team going in this company includes the words Heavenly and Rockers. Ned, and Simon, you can't help that the sport has passed you by. It happens to all the greats. Just accept it. HOLLY I wouldn't call either of you two great, though. LOGAN True, true. Ned, Simon, you have to start thinking about life after the OAOAST. Simon, maybe you'd like a role as a judge on the next season of Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling. Molly, you're in grad school, when you get out maybe you can be the camera girl or even better get coffee for the Hulkster! Ned, I don't know what you're gonna do, and I don't care all that much. But your ex is famous, she's a busy woman, I'm bet she needs someone to fetch her dry cleaning, get her car washed, all that stuff you're qualified to do, Ned. You've been such a great slave for Mister Moneymaker, you have all the credentials to be Krista's personal assistant. HOLLY But its too bad you don't have the credentials to be 4 time tag team champions like we do. THEODORE Molly steps up to Holly ready to fight, ending my dream tag team of Holly and Molly, the Olly girls! MOLLY Now that is enough! THEODORE Indeed it is! Logan, Synth, Holly, Abdullah, come let us toast to your record tying fourth tag team championship! "Money Talks" cues once again to end the segment the Enterprise leave the BHB alone in the corner to hang with the Heavenly Rockers. COLE As if the Halloween Spectacular couldn't get any better, what a match it should be for the One & Only World tag team championship. And what a bombshell Theodore Moneymaker just dropped. The Heavenly Rockers will represent the Enterprise after signing a lucrative licensing agreement with the group. COACH Teddy once again proves why he's one of the best businessman in the world, Cole. COLE For his dreams to become reality the Enterprise must first win the stables battle royal later tonight. The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area where Josh Matthews is standing by with Brickston and Vitamin X. The crowd boos loudly. Brickston is a little antsy, while Vitamin X stands behind Brickston, smiling evilly. JOSH MATTHEWS Brickston, in just 8 days, you will compete in a 5-Man Prism Elimination Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. In that match, you will take on Tha Puerto Rican once again, Alfdogg, who you lost to last week, and two men who you have never fought before in Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix and Bohemoth. What are your thoughts heading into this, one of the most important matches of your career? VITAMIN X Josh, my client couldn’t be more excited! It’s almost here. 8 more days until Brickston captures his first ever One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! And 8 more days until I stake my claim as the greatest manager in the history of professional wrestling! I went from a wrestler to the manager of the World Heavyweight Champion in only four months. Surely, that is the fastest turnaround in the history of professional wrestling? Is it not? J.MATH Uh… I guess? VITAMIN X Whatever. Anyway, the point is, my client, Brickston, has never been more prepared. People thought that he was prepared when he stepped into the ring and fought Tha Puerto Rican for 60 minutes straight at AngleSlam? Well, they are about to be in for a surprise! My client has studied the tapes, studied the moves, studied the minds of all four of his opponents next Friday night. He knows EVERYTHING about Bohemoth, EVERYTHING about Alfdogg, EVERYTHING about Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, and…well…he already knew EVERYTHING about Tha Puerto Rican! Which is why his victory is not a possibility, but a foregone conclusion! Next Friday night in my hometown of Miami, Florida, Brickston will do me proud by defeating four of the greatest superstars in professional wrestling today, and wrap the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, like he SHOULD have done two months ago! I’ve said it before, but I mean it this time: next Friday night IS Brickston’s night! The 5-Man Prism Elimination Match is HIS for the taking! And I will be even MORE proud to manage Brickston as he reigns over the One And Only AngleSault Thread as the World Heavyweight Champion! BRICKSTON Alfdogg thinks that I am a joke? Landon thinks that I lack charisma? Well, I might not have a thousand and one catchphrases, nor an entrance with a ton of flashy pyro and an expensive robe, nor do I have a hooker following me everywhere I go. But what I DO have is all you need in the sport of professional wrestling: TALENT. Not to mention, THE SINGLE MOST INTELLIGENT MIND IN THE SPORT, VITAMIN X, GUIDING ME ALONG THE WAY! Vitamin X blushes at this. He nods his head and says, “Thank you.” The crowd boos. BRICKSTON I don’t need none of the pomp and circumstances. I just need my talent. And my talent will be in full force next Friday night! I will step into the ring and I will NOT fail. Bohemoth, Alfdogg, Landon, PRL, one, two, three, or all FOUR of you will have your ankles snapped by me next Friday night! In fact, I kinda hope that I am the one that eliminates each of you, so that I can hear all four of you scream as I break your ankles with my Anklelock! I might have had a slight misstep at AngleSlam, but that’s ALL it was, a misstep. Everything is back to normal, and everything will be the way it SHOULD be by November 1st. With Vitamin X by my side, I can do no wrong. My four opponents will CRUMBLE at my feet! And it’s appropriate that the match takes place on Halloween, because I will make those four men FEAR ME! For I am the Ultimate Submission Specialist! For I am the World’s Most Dangerous Athlete. And for I am YOUR next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! Alfdogg, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, Bohemoth, Tha Puerto Rican, clench those fists, because it’s Fists Of Fury Time! Brickston stares into the camera. Vitamin X stands behind him smiling and nodding his head. The crowd boos loudly. VITAMIN X THAT’S RIGHT! YEAH BABY! YEAH! BRICKSTON Let’s go. VITAMIN X YEAH! Vitamin X applauds Brickston. Brickston glances over at Josh Matthews, and then walks away, a serious look on his face. Vitamin X glances over at Josh Matthews, and then follows Brickston, smiling evilly and applauding him along the way. Josh Matthews watches Vitamin X and Brickston walk away. The crowd boos loudly. FADE OUT HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR FATAL 4 WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH The Heavenly Rockers vs. James Blonde & Faqu vs. Zack Malibu & Sly Sommers vs. Reject & Thunderkid © Edited October 25, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 We're taken backstage to very popular Josh Matthews. Seriously, Josh has been used more tonight than he has in the past 3 months combined. Time for a new Nerdly girl I guess. MATTHEWS Josh Matthews standing by, with the Halloween Spectacular just over a week away. And my guests at this time are in for an historic test in Miami, set to take on the OAOAST's first ever mother/daughter tag team combination of Krista and Jade, they being Malaysia Nerdly and Jo... As Malaysia and Mr. Dick walk in, Josh hurriedly stops himself. MR. DICK Now I know you weren't fixing to call me what I think you were bitchboy. It's Mister Dick. Not Jock, not Dick, not Dickie, not nothing but Mister Dick. You disrespect the Dick and it'll do the same right back atcha. MATTHEWS Duly noted. Now, after your actions last week, I have to ask, are you worried about what Krista's fixing to do to you in eight nights? Mr. Dick gives Josh an incredulous look, before snatching the microphone away from him. MR. DICK Do I look like a man who oughta be worried by anyone? Take a good look at me Josh. Go on, go ahead. I know you wanna lay them eyes on me faggot, this one's a freebie. Take a lookie-loo at these washboard abdominals. Take a look at the bulging biceps. Feast your eyes on the tight, toned BUTT of a champion! I'm in the best shape of my life. Hell, I'm in the best shape of ANYBODY's life! 6'4, 238 of Texas's finest thoroughbred. Only difference is, the horses are the ones with penis envy when it Mr. Dick's out on the ranch! I'm lean and I'm mean, in all the right places. Now take them eyes off'a me pervert. Save it for the privacy of your hotel room, freak. And while you're at it, quit looking at my woman too. Whether you got a dick or not and from where I'm sitting it's mighty inconclusive, you sure as all hell ain't got one like mine so you wouldn't have a clue what to do with a certified sexual predator like her! Malaysia growls under her breath at Josh. MR. DICK You've just been lusting them homo eyes up and down this chiseled human masterpiece, you tell me why I oughta be worried by anybody. Let alone a couple bitch women. Ya'll think just cause the Duncans are teaming up for the first time in history that me an' Malaysia an' the rest of the world better be worried? Face it, they ain't got no hope! An entire family of bitches, not one of them knows how to handle a dick and I'm the biggest Dick of them all! What hope they got!? No hope! No hopers! Krista found out long ago she weren't woman enough to satisfy a man, that's why she devoted her life to cleaning more carpets than an asian housemaid! And as for lil' Jade... MATTHEWS Maybe you'd better stop right there. Krista's already threatened some serious injury on you after your attempted attack on Jade last week. And I hope for your sake you're not thinking of trying that again at the Halloween Spectacular! MR. DICK Don't you worry about a thing. See, I had a little talk with President Baker. An' staring at her horseface for 20 minutes straight helped me come to the sudden realisation that there ain't but one person in the OAOAST worthy enough of close encounters of the penile kind with Mr. Dick. Actually, scratch that. Only this beast next to me is worthy enough of this beast hanging outta me. Not a person else. So Krista, you rest easy. You can go back, safe in the knowledge that ain't no man gonna wanna touch your illegitimate spawn. Mr. Dick's juices are a commodity more precious than holy water, I ain't gonna waste a drop on your worthless daughter. She's already a walking waste of sperm so she don't need no more of a taste! MATTHEWS I tell ya, you are walking a tight line right now... MR. DICK I ain't walkin' nothing but the road to immortality, faggot! I told ya'll I was gonna get my revenge and I am. I told ya'll I was gonna make history and I will. I told ya'll Krista's kids were her one weakness and by god ya'll gonna find out I was right about that too. See, I'm so confident about what's gonna go down in Miami, I'm gonna go ahead and walk you through it a week early. What's gonna happen is the same that always happens. Krista's gonna come out and she's gonna make a scene outta herself. She'll be dancing and prancing and all that. Only this time, she's gonna turn around while she be rubbing her coochie up and down on somebody and she's gonna see her little daughter standing there with her mouth wide open wondering why no man ain't ever gonna treat her like that, yet when those legs creak open they're queued around the block to clean out those cobwebs out from her momma's MILF cooch! That's when Krista takes her eye off the Dick... and BAM! We take her out. Then, all we gotta deal with is the weak link. Tell 'em what you're gonna do to the fat kid! Tell 'em! MALAYSIA I'm gonna stomp her... I'm gonna slap her... I'm gonna CHOKE her. MR. DICK Then what? THEN WHAT!? MALAYSIA Then, when she's down on the mat, I'm going take my boot... and I'm going to press it down across her throat, compressing her windpipe until her breathing begins to slow. Forgetting all about their interview, Mr. Dick and Malaysia lock eyes, their lips inches away from each other. MR. DICK Oh yeah! Keep going baby, keep going! MALAYSIA Her eyes will bulge... her skin, reddening... panic causing her to squirm and struggle under my foot... her blood, running cold... Just before the two lunge into each other's mouths, Mr. Dick wheels away from the panting Malaysia and snatches the microphone from Josh. MR. DICK And that's when I turn around and kick Krista's teeth right down her stinkin' throat!! She's gonna watch her daughter get TORTURED and then, just when she thinks it can't get any worse, Mr. Dick's gonna do exactly what he said he was gonna do... he's gonna take Krista Isadora Duncan and he's gonna make her SUBMIT!! If I gotta break an ankle, snap a leg, seperate a shoulder, it doesn't matter! She will submit to Mr. Dick! She will submit for the first time in her career! I'm not gonna stop until I make her tap. You know why? You know what's gonna keep me going, even with a human life precarious in my hands!? Every scream comin' outta Krista's mouth. Every bone cracking under her skin. Every tortured slap of that hand against that mat, begging for the pain to stop. Because I know that's gonna get Malaysia off and she's gonna turn into an insatiable animal the moment we get through those curtains!! Miami ain't never gonna be the same, Krista ain't never gonna be the same and even Mr. Dick might not be the same by the time me and Malaysia are finished! Cause this bitch gets extra-freaky on Halloween. And after I make history in the ring, we're gonna go back to the hotel for a LONG game of Trick... or Dick!! The amped up Mr. Dick and Malaysia head off arm in arm, possibly for a pre-Halloween warm-up game, leaving behind a very creeped out Josh Matthews. COACH I tell you one thing Michael, she ain't gonna be bobbing for apples. COLE ...we'll be right back. HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 1st time EVER, MOTHER AND DAUGHTER TEAM UP! KRISTA ISADORAN DUNCAN AND 2ND GENERATION SUPERSTAR JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA OCTOBER 31st COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 Magnum Opus hits, and the lights go out in the arena, as the crowd starts to boo. COLE And we're being told this is a bonus gauntlet match, and it will feature all of the participants in the 5-Man Prism Match at the Halloween Spectacular! COACH All right! This should be great A light comes on in the entryway, and a figure starts to emerge. COLE And it looks like Alfdogg... The camera focuses in, revealing that it's actually a midget dressed as Alfdogg, carrying the United States title belt. COACH What is this? BUFFER The following is a 5-man gauntlet match! The last man remaining after the four other men have been defeated, either by pinfall, submission, disqualification, or countout, will be the winner! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, the reigning OAOAST United States champion, and a former three-time heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRLD...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOGG!!!!! COLE Well, I'm not sure what's going on here, but that is the real United States championship belt he's carrying! Mini-Alf climbs into the ring, and holds his belt in his right hand, dropping to one knee as his pyro goes off behind him. COACH Well, let's see what happens next... *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* Fuel by Metallica hits. COLE And that is the music of Brickston, but who's going to come through the curtains next? The camera moves in, as Sandman9000 walks through the curtain, dressed up as Brickston. COACH BUFFER From Sacramento, California, weighing in at 215 pounds...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICKSSSSSSSSSSSSSTONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE And that is Sandman9000, what is that in his hand? COACH Oh my God, he really does have cereal! COLE :lol: COACH Man, I love the X-Man, but that's pretty funny! Sandman sets the cereal box in the corner, and leans in for "advice", before Mini-Alf drags him into the ring! COLE And Alf getting the action going right away! *DING DING DING* Sandman sarcastically kicks and screams, as Mini-Alf stomps a mudhole in the corner. Mini-Alf then picks up Sandman, and whips him into the corner, where Sandman does a Flair flip onto the top rope, then comes back down into the ring. He staggers right into Mini-Alf, who ducks down and takes him overhead with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And a nice suplex by Alf! Mini Alf then climbs to the top rope... COLE And Alf all the way up top! COACH Look at this, he must be five feet in the air! ...and executes the FIVE-STAR MINI-ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE And he hit it! COACH I think you'd call that a tadpole splash! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Brickston is eliminated! COACH Very impressive showing by Alf! Sandman rolls out to the box of cereal, and apologizes to it for letting it down, before reaching in and grabbing a handful, then shoving it into his mouth. Suddenly, Tony Tourettes comes barreling down the ramp, and snatches the box from him, and begins to eat it. TONY MY CEREAL, BITCH! Sandman gives him a girly slap on the shoulder, then follows him up the ramp as Shadows of the Night hits. COACH Uh-oh, Prepare for Landon! But it's not Landon, it's Reject dressed as him, accompanied by Melissa Nerdly, wearing a mop top on her head, a huge fake nose, and a bra underneath her dress making her right breast rise noticeably higher than the left one. COLE And it's Landon and Megan, I suppose, played by Reject and Melissa Nerdly! COACH Well...I don't know about this one, Cole, that's a little harsh, I think! BUFFER From Huron, South Dakota, weighing in at 208 pounds...accompanied by Megan Skye, he is the leader of Cucaracha Internacional..."LA CUCARACHA" LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNN MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! Reject reaches his arms out, and Melissa pats him on the chest, to which Reject responds by quickly covering up. COLE Watch it, Landon's got a sensitive chest! Reject climbs onto the apron, and steps through the second rope, but as he does, Mini-Alf catches him with a seated dropkick, knocking him back to the apron! COLE And once again, Alf taking advantage of the situation! Mini-Alf steps to the second rope, and hooks Reject in a front facelock, then brings him back inside with a suplex! He then drops a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COACH Landon's gonna be a little tougher catch than Brickston, it looks like! Reject backs into a corner, and sits on the bottom rope, as Mini-Alf sizes him up, and lays in a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject holds his chest and feigns crying, as Alf lays in another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject sits down in the corner, and begins to suck his thumb, as Melissa hops onto the apron, distracting Mini-Alf. COLE And Alf now being distracted by Megan Skye! COACH Oh, will you stop? Reject charges, but Mini-Alf moves out of the way, and Melissa gets knocked off the apron! COLE And down goes Megan! Mini-Alf then grabs the legs of Reject, and steps through for a SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Sharpshooter! Reject immediately taps, then begins to cry again. COLE Two gone! Mini-Alf releases the hold, then Reject rolls to the outside. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* COLE And now what? Thunderkid walks through the curtains, dressed as Bohemoth. COACH ThunderBo~! BUFFER From Greenville, South Carolina, weighing in at 284 pounds...representing the In-Crowd...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! TK flexes his muscles and makes weird faces, sort of like Gillberg, as he walks toward the ring. He rolls inside, and poses on the ropes, then circles the ring with Mini-Alf. However, he soon spots Melissa on the floor, then slides out and chases her around the ring! COACH And there goes Bo, preying on defenseless women again! TK catches up to Melissa, and forces her down onto the ground, then simulates rape on her on the floor! Melissa can be heard screaming "NO MEANS NO"! as TK mock-thrusts. COLE Well, this is just wrong. COACH Yeah, it's wrong now that it's guys that you like taking heat? I played along when it was Landon and Brickston! Show some objectivity! The referee calls for the bell, as officials run out to the ring to restrain Bo. COLE And I think we have a countout here... COACH Come on, put the cuffs on him! He's a criminal! Suddenly, Sandman and Reject run back out, dressed as Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, respectively. COACH And here comes the In-Crowd, finally! Sandman and Reject pull TK off of Melissa, and drag him out of the arena, as Melissa is helped to the back by officials. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing over the loud speakers. The lights go down. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song while smoke fills the entryway. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Alfdogg himself emerges through the smoke, dressed as Tha Puerto Rican, and carrying a foam OAOAST World title belt. COACH OH YEAH~! The champ is here! BUFFER From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE And that is the real Alfdogg, playing the part of the World champion, Tha Puerto Rican. COACH He may well be living the part of World champion after next week! COLE He may well. Alf rolls into the ring, and removes the replica belt, then hops onto the middle rope and holds it up. He repeats this in all four corners, as the camera focuses on Mini-Alf laying across a corner on the top rope, "sleeping." COACH I don't blame you, Alf, I'm about there myself watching this! Alf tries a sneak attack on Mini-Alf, but Mini-Alf turns and drives a foot into his face! He then gets up and stands up on the top rope, and executes a HURRICANRANA~! Mini-Alf then waits on Alf to get to his knees, and hits a SUPERKICK~! He then climbs to the top rope once again...and hits the FIVE-STAR MINI-ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2... 3!!! COACH ALF WINS! BUFFER Here is your winner...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GG!!!!! COLE ...Well, Alf hoping this is a preview of The Halloween Spectacular next week, when the real Alf will step into the ring with the real-life versions of these four men, in the 5-Man Prism match for the World Heavyweight championship! COACH It could very well be, Cole! Mini-Alf stands over Alf with his foot on his chest, raising both Alf's replica as well as the US title belt. He then waits for Alf to start to get up, then pulls his fist back at him, and Alf quickly bails out and runs back down the aisle. COACH Yeah, look at PRL run like a dog! COLE Shut up. Folks, there's more HeldDOWN coming up from the nation's capital. We'll have a HUGE battle royal to try and figure out who's gonna face PRL at November Reign. COACH If PRL is even still world champion by then. Which he ain't gonna be, so ain't no worries on that. COMMERCIAL Stables Battle Royal 2 Winners face at Halloween Spectacular Winner becomes #1 Contender for November Reign In Crowd vs. Enterprise vs. Deadly Alliance vs. Cucaracha Internacional TONIGHT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 We're taken backstage where Mackenzie DeCenzo has found a quiet place to practice her secret talent of Cubist painting. She sits on a stool dutifully tracing her brush along a canvas. But her moment of quiet is interrupted by none other than Baron Windells. BARON Mackenzie! MACKENZIE Hm? BARON I need a moment. Because I...are you painting a picture? MACKENZIE Of an 18th century Chinese farming labor camp. But its in cubist style so it could be a 25th century robot dog show on Venus for all I know. Art history joke. Not very funny. BARON Cubism? Like that one Picasso fella? MACKENZIE Like that one Picasso fella. Exactly. It was Molly's idea to get me to explore my creative threshold as she called it. I should've known better than to listen to a girl that explores her sexual threshold with the likes of Leon Rodez. Honestly I'm bored enough by the whole thing that talking to you actually seems right up my alley. What would you like, Mister Windells? BARON I need a match with Christian Wright. I prefer one at the Halloween Spectacular, but I ain't picky just as long as I get to fight. MACKENZIE Is that right? Pun unintended. Why, Mister Gunslinger, would you need a match with Christian? Just help me out to the reasoning behind that request. There aren't very many people lining up to face a former HI-YAH world champion, after all. BARON I don't know why your boss keeps puttin me against his guys, and I don't know nothing about "scouting" reports he keeps gathering on me. But what I do know is that when Christian and I fought a couple weeks back, we had one hell of a tussle and he walked right on out. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him do that! Where I come from, when you start a brawl, you don't stop until someone leaves in an ambulance. Let's put aside all this scouting and what not and let's finish our brawl. I'm a fighter and that's what I do, ma'am. MACKENZIE Are you sure you're not a maschoist? BARON What's that, ma'am? MACKENZIE Its a...nevermind the joke doesn't pack quite as much punch when you have to define the punchline. It actually wasn't that funny to begin with. More of quip than a joke. But you want to wrestle Christian Wright at the Halloween Spectacular, did I hear that right? BARON Just gimmie that match, and I'll be out your hair. If he wins, then so be it. If I win, then so be it. I'm just trynna finish what I started. MACKENZIE Its your funereal I suppose. Very well, I'll speak to Josie and have your match made. I guess then we might get to find out why Teddy has sung so many of your praises. I wish you all the luck in the world. BARON I make my own luck. Mackenzie dismisses Baron with a wave of her brush and goes back to painting what I think looks a little like a donkey humping David Hasselhoff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 (edited) Cut to the stately dressing room of the Duncan clan*. (*Okay, so a dressing room is hardly stately. But this dressing room as as stately as one can get.) The camera focuses on a fancy changing cubicle behind which the award winning, video selling, cheque paying body that can only belong to Krista Isadora Duncan is silohuetted trying on an also silohuetted outfit. A bored looking Alix Maria Spezia flips through a style magazine, while an equally bored looking Jade Rodez-Duncan is busy tapping away on her iPhone. Both are engrossed in anything to keep them awake while they wait. After what seems like an age, Krista finally emerges from behind the curtain in a cheerleader outfit and does a twirl. Unfortunately neither daughter or girlfriend notice her. Krista grunts under her breath before stepping back behind the curtain, clearing her throat and twirling out again once she has their attention. And Jade almost drops her iPhone in shock. KRISTA Well, what do you think? JADE Oh, Mom, no! KRISTA No? Gee, I think it looks pretty sexy myself. Do you not like the colour? The fit? My affinity for 'Swag University' displayed on the front? What could possibly be your problem with this fantastic thing? Oh... ohhh, I get it, I get why you'd be worried by this. Mother's intuition. *taps nose* Don't worry sweetie, it's okay. You'll be the prettiest girl at the prom, I promise. *winks* Jade sighs. KRISTA Not that? Then what? What's wrong with it? We're going to be a tag team, we have to look the same, no? Cause I consulting wrestling historians who specifically informed me that all the best tag teams dress the same. That's what makes them good teams. ALIX But Lucius Soul and Rico De Janeiro look nothing alike! KRISTA I set-em up, you knock 'em down. Bam bam! JADE I understand that. It's just... well... I don't know if it's such a good idea. Those mothers who dress up their daughters to look like mini versions of them, you're always saying how they deserve painful deaths. KRISTA Yes, but those are other people. When I do it it's different because I'm wealthy and famous. JADE Yeah, but... it's just... ya know, you, in a cheerleader's outfit. KRISTA Hmm. JADE My Mom. KRISTA Hmmm. JADE With me. KRISTA Still failing to see the point here. Don't tell me you'd be embarrased by being seen with me looking like this because that'd be a damn dirty lie. Don't you want all the boys to know where you got that body from. BAM! Them's the ovaries ladies and gents! Especially ladies. Single mom in well working order, ladies grab your tickets to grab dem cakes. It's actually over-dressing by my swagnificent standards. ALIX Hmm, allow me to put my detective hat on one second. I think what's Miss Jade's trying to say in her special, timid shrew trapped by a cat and barely able to make a squeak in fear way that we all love is, if you're out in the arena in a cheerleader's outfit, next to your cute, young daughter who's also in a cheerleader's outfit, you run the risk of coming across as old and desperate for attention. You know, like all those women dressed as cheerleaders on all the porn sites. Sooo disappointing. *looks up* Hey, where'd my hat go!? Krista can't hide her amazement KRISTA I'm sorry, but are you saying my daughter is going to look hotter than me? Because if you are then sugar I think you need to get your eyes tested... (to Jade) no offence honey... (to Alix) I mean come on, look at my bazookas in this thing, huh!? BAM BAM BAM! I'M SHOOTIN' EM ALL DOWN! ALIX Nuh-uh. I didn't say hotter. I said younger. KRISTA Well isn't that the darned same thing? As the two not quite so young but certainly young looking women contemplate this quandry, Jade takes a stand. Literally. JADE Look, please Mom. If we're going to be teaming together, it'd be really nice if you... you know... tried not to do any of that weird stuff you usually do? KRISTA But it's the weird stuff that makes me so popular! Right? Getting no support from either daughter or girlfriend, Krista folds her arms. KRISTA Look, don't get mad at me, you're the one who agreed to this stupid match young lady. JADE Uh, no, actually Alix did before I could say no. All eyes turn to a cornered Miss Spezia. ALIX I just thought it would make a poignant moment in our family's history. JADE Wait... what do you mean by (sarcastic) "You're the one who agreed to this stupid match"? KRISTA Well, as we say in Hollywood, 'what's my motivation?' What's in it for me really? Yes, I'm teaming with my eldest daughter and I'm sure that's something to go in the coveted OAOAST record books till the end of time. But if you really want us to do something together as a mother and daughter, why not let those people from E! pay us to put cameras in our house and do that reality show they keep pestering my agent about. It'd pay more and reality TV is still marginally more credible than the OAOAST. Besides, I already beat Mr. Dick... ALIX LOLZ! KRISTA ...last month. Don't get me wrong, any chance to illustrate Chick's dominance over Dick is just fantastic, because it might jog people's memories and shift a few more copies of mine and Alix's best of DVD and we'll be seeing some royalty cheques flooding through the letterbox. Other than that, really what's the point? His freaky girlfriend I wouldn't mind meeting again but there's many places higher on my dating hierachy than a wrestling ring. You see where I'm coming from, surely. Your Mom's a hot commodity in so many different fields. If I just went out and accepted every movie role and every commercial endorsement deal that was flung at my agent, not only would I be rather tired, but my credibility would plunge like the US economy, which incidently is a major factor in me making sure my credibility doesn't plunge. JADE So, you're saying you don't want to team with me? KRISTA I'm saying I'd rather not team up with you in a wrestling capacity, yes. A co-starring or a collaberation, sure, but tag-teaming? Surprised at her mother's stark honesty, Jade sadly hangs her head and starts to walk off. JADE Don't worry, I get it. Well, I'm sorry I can't be the partner you want me to be. I guess being Women's Champion isn't good enough for you!? You think I'm going to embarrass you, don't you!? I hate you sometimes, you're the worst mother in the world!! KRISTA Wha... Jade stomps off from her mother in a typical teenage huff, slamming the door behind her. Luckily for Krista it swings back open. KRISTA You don't mean that! What about Lynn Spears? Jade!? Jade, I didn't mean I didn't want to team with you specifically! I just don't like to wrestle, period! I HATE WRESTLING! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME YET!? Realising Jade isn't coming back, Krista sighs and slumps into the couch in her own huff. ALIX Do you want me to talk to her? KRISTA Nah, I'll just wait for her to calm down and buy her something nice to make it up to her. Alix sits down next to Krista with a dreamy look on her face, as she places a hand on Krista's thigh. ALIX We're going to make great parents. COACH I knew Krista was a good actress but I don't know how girl managed to keep a straight face after the "I guess being Women's Champion isn't good enough for you!?" I was out here buggin! That the title is the equivalent of Minkus from Boy Meets World. You know she wakes up everynight wondering why her daughter couldn't be Leighton Meester. The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area where Josh Matthews is standing by with Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck and his wrestling attire, and is holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R., we are 8 days away from one of the biggest challenges of your OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign. You will be competing in a 5-Man Prism Elimination Match against four men who you have a lot of history with in Alfdogg, Brickston, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix and Bohemoth. You have never defended your Title against this many men befo-- Tha Puerto Rican puts his right hand in front of J.Math’s face. The crowd cheers loudly. The camera cuts to several PRL signs in the arena. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Josh Matthews just stands there and waits for PRL to stop listening to the fans chant his name. He’s gotten used to it by now. PRL eventually looks at Josh and brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN At long last…after all this time…THE CHAMP IS HERE IN WASHINGTON D.C.! CHEAP POP~! THA PUERTO RICAN So here we are, in our nation’s capitol, two weeks away from the United States Presidential Election. But before Americans everywhere decide whether they want a giant douche or a turd sandwich for President, Americans everywhere will be tuning into TSM next Friday night for the Halloween Spectacular to witness Tha Puerto Rican defend his One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Title against four of the greatest professional wrestlers in the world today! And just as sure as whoever becomes President won’t really help change this country, and just as sure as Josh Matthews is an ugly cross-dresser, Tha Puerto Rican is just as sure that next Friday night, at the Halloween Spectacular, he will be in a 5-Man Prism Elimination Match. This is gonna be the toughest match of my World Heavyweight Championship reign. Tougher than the Triple Threat Match, tougher than the No Holds Barred Match, tougher than the Steel Cage Match, even tougher than the 60-Minute Iron Man Match! You know why? Because instead of having one, two, or three guys wanting to beat me, I’ve got FOUR! And not just any four, but four men who hate my guts and would like nothing more than to see me crippled! So, not only do these guys want to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, but they all also have a personal interest in seeing me LOSE next Friday night. PRL adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN So yes, this match will be BRUTAL! This match will be TOUGH! But Tha Puerto Rican is not afraid. Oh no. Because for one thing, Tha Puerto Rican HAS beaten all FOUR guys individually before! (The crowd cheers) And number two, even if number one wasn’t true, Tha Puerto Rican wouldn’t be scared. Because think about it: Tha Puerto Rican is facing Whiny McWhinesalot, talking about how he got screwed at Zero Hour even though there was absolutely NO screwing whatsoever, the guy who is starring with his manager in Brokeback Mountain 2: Electric Boogaloo, speaking of screwing, that little stinking nugget who just doesn’t want to be flushed down the toilet, and then there’s Bohemoth. Now Bohemoth is pretty cool. He is a good wrestler…FOR ME TO POOP ON! The crowd cheers! PRL has a satisfied grin on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, yeah, Leon isn’t the only one who can reference Late Night With Conan O’Brien in this company! Anyway, the question is NOT whether or not I will win the match, but whether who I will eliminate last. It could be any one of those four. And it doesn’t matter which one it is. It could be Brickston, he who lost to Tha Puerto Rican 12 TIMES in ONE NIGHT at AngleSlam. Brickston, he who is a choke artist! Brickston he who is all bark and no bite. Brickston, he who will be wrestling with his ’good friend’ Vitamin X at ringside. Vitamin X, Tha Puerto Rican sees the way that you look at Brickston. And Brickston, Tha Puerto Rican sees the way that you look at Vitamin X. Vitamin X, Tha Puerto Rican sees how you lick your lips when Brickston wrestles. And Brickston, Tha Puerto Rican sees the way that you look Vitamin X up and down when he talks, undressing him with your eyes. So, Tha Puerto Rican says, why don’t the two of you just get it over with, and have yourselves a little baby! The crowd cheers loudly! PRL sneers at the camera. THA PUERTO RICAN I could see it now: Little Brickston X. With a huge jaw, wearing a little business suit and a diaper full of crap! And his first words will be: (in a whiny high(er) pitched voice): ‘Clench those fists, because it’s Fists Of Fury Time!’ Tha Puerto Rican does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! The crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN Or the last one eliminated could be Alfdogg. Alfdogg, he who has three jabronies and a HOOKER watching his back. Alfdogg, he who hasn‘t done anything interesting in about two years AT LEAST. Alfdogg, he who headed a professional wrestling company that SHUT DOWN! Alfdogg, he who won’t…stop…WHINING! ‘WAAAAH! I beat Tha Puerto Rican at AngleSlam! WAAAAAH! PRL got lucky at Zero Hour! WAAAAAH! I should be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion right now! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAH!’ OH SHUT THE HELL UP YOU BIG BABY! The crowd cheers again. THA PUERTO RICAN Or maybe Tha Puerto Rican will have to eliminate last the NUGGET! Or, as you people know him by, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who has the ridiculous haircut. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who is as about as talented as a retarded monkey. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who has to pay people to be his friends. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who has a two dollar, NO!, one dollar, NO, 50 cents, NO, buy her for 10 cents and get the next one for free SLUT for a girlfriend! ’Prepare for Landon!’ Nope! Prepare to get your ass whopped by The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling! THAT’S what you need to get prepared for, NUGGET! And that’s the truth, Ruth! The crowd cheers some more. COACH He is going to regret saying that. COLE Shut up. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” PRL “smells the electricity” in the arena. THA PUERTO RICAN Or maybe Tha Puerto Rican will have to eliminate last…Bohemoth. Bohemoth, he who has more muscles in places than Tha Puerto Rican has places. Bohemoth, he who is as tough as he is stylish. Bohemoth, he who has a million dollar body but a ten cent brain! Bohemoth, he who thinks he has got Tha Puerto Rican all figured out…but he has no idea what he is in for next Friday night. Tha Puerto Rican puts on an In Crowd T-shirt! He removes his Puerto Rican flag bandana and earring from his left ear. THA PUERTO RICAN (as Bohemoth) Well, I’m gonna go put on a PIMP suit. Drink some PIMP juice. Take a big PIMP dump! And then I’m gonna go in the ring and get my PIMP ass kicked by Tha Puerto Rican! Because I am PIMPEMOTH~!, the PIMPIEST WRESTLER WHO HAS EVER PIMPED IN THE HISTORY OF PIMPTON! (As himself) Oh give me a break! Tha Puerto Rican rips off his In Crowd T-shirt and throws it to the side! COACH Do you REALLY want Bohemoth to hate you even MORE!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican is ready for the Big Man next Friday night! Tha Puerto Rican adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN And one more thing, next Friday night at the Halloween Spectacular in Miami, Florida, Tha Puerto Rican is going to do all that he can to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. And there is nothing Bohemoth, NUGGET, Brokeback Mountain, nor Whiney McWhinesalot can do about it…except watch out for the lightning strikes, because either one of them, two of them, three of them, or all FOUR of them are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare! Tha Puerto Rican snatches the microphone away from Josh Matthews and shoves him off screen. Tha Puerto Rican tilts his head back and then brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…HAS…SPO-KUN~!!! Tha Puerto Rican does The People’s Eyebrow to the camera. “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Well, as you can see, as you can hear, it is going to be every man for himself next Friday night at the Halloween Spectacular! Five men will be competing for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, but only one man can have the honour of being the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! But before we get to the Halloween Spectacular, we will start the countdown to November Reign coming up next! A Stable Battle Royal, with the last two men left standing competing next week at the Halloween Spectacular in a #1 Contender’s Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, with the winner of THAT match to meet the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, whoever he will be, at November Reign 2008 on November 30th! Fans, don’t go away! The Stable Battle Royal is coming up next! COMMERCIAL BIRDS OF A FEATHER...R-LOCKED TOGETHER LIVE! HALLOWEEN NIGHT ON TSM Edited October 25, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2008 COLE And it's now time for our main-event... COACH Already? Man. Remind me to TiVo Syndicated this week. COLE ...here on HeldDOWN~!, featuring no less than 15 of the OAOAST's finest in a battle to take one step closer to OAOAST World Championship gold. Members of The In Crowd, The Enterprise, The Deadly Alliance and Cucaracha Internacional did battle on a wild and crazy HeldDOWN~! last week in San Juan as the war of the words over who the most dominant group in the OAOAST really is finally and inevitably spilled over into violence! ALFDOGG I hope you're not grouping this four with your group Maddix. Because we're fixing to run through everybody in this ring in about five seconds if you all don't get the hell out. MONEYMAKER I assume that includes the females as well as the males? Reject grabs the microphone from Alf, realising that shot was directed at him. REJECT Look, Moneymaker, put it this way... *SLAP!* COLE OH BOY! The Messiah reels back from the slap, nobody quite able to believe it just happened. REJECT I will run through who I want, whe... Reject has no time to finish that thought though, as The Enterprise suddenly pile forward AND START SLUGGING IT OUT WITH THE MEMBERS OF THE DEADLY ALLIANCE!! The punches fly back and forth sending Melissa, Mackenzie and Molly all heading for the safety of the outside. And Megan soon joins them, as after watching for a few seconds, Landon gives the signal AND CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL SUDDENLY DIVE INTO THE FRAY AS WELL!!!! COLE HERE WE GO!!!! COACH No, no, this is what he wants! Damn it! It's chaos as the fifteen or so OAOAST superstars do battle inside the ring. On the outside, even the females are about to get in on the act, as Mackenzie and Molly get into a heated arguement with Megan and with Melissa. Watching all this unfold, Leon puts his microphone down carefully and dusts his hands on a job well done. Getting to the top of the aisle he decides not to leave after all though, instead reaching into the ring AND PULLING OUT REJECT, GOING WILD WITH RIGHT HANDS ON THE FLOOR!!! COLE LEON HAS REJECT!! OH MAN WHAT A CHAOTIC SCENE!! COACH AND NOW WHAT!? Now would be ZACK MALIBU, dodging past Reject and Rodez to dive into the ring in pursuit of Theodore Moneymaker! The Messiah is tied up with Thunderkid though and Zack gets lost in the melee, instead throwing right hands at whatever Enterprise or Cucaracha Internacional member steps his way. Moments later and BOHEMOTH sprints out through the curtains to get in on the war as well, sliding in and going to work on Alfdogg!! COLE IT'S ALL GONE TO HECK IN SAN JUAN!! Not a moment too soon referees rush out from the back to try and break the mass brawl up. But the wrestlers outnumber the officials and they're powerless to help, as the wild punches continue to fly around in the ring. They do manage to break up Leon and Reject though, for what it's worth. With Leon restrained, Melissa starts to rush towards him... but Molly Nerdly grabs her sister by the arm and wheels her around, into a big SLAP! Down goes Melissa, but Megan attacks Molly from behind, leading to Mackenzie tackling her to the ground giving the officials even more order to try and restore. Eventually, they give up and signal to the back, leading to more OAOAST staff and road agents to run to the ring to help out! COACH Michael, hold my headset. COLE What? Are you mad, you can't go up there! COACH What!? Screw that, room service just brought me my meal and I don't wanna be chewing on air, fool. COLE Oh for the love of... The fight begins to become a little less frenetic, if only because the shots everyone is taking are having their effect. Some roll to the floor to get out of the firing line, like The Beverly Hills Blonds and James Blonde, who go back at it on the floor instead. In the ring, Todd Cortez finds the room to set Sandman9000 up for the Riot Act Plus... but Christian Wright bundles him over. Finally the mass of OAOAST officials is joined by some of the locker room, the likes of The Love Doctors, Vinny Valentine and The Can-Jam Connection being drafted in to get the warring factions seperated! COLE It is utter chaos on HeldDOWN~! and it seems like there's no end in sight, even with all these bodies out here to stop it... LOOK OUT!!!!! Suddenly, Zack Malibu leaves the ring, with a PLANCHA OUT ONTO JAMES BLONDE AND THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS!!!!! COLE THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL!! We're going to need the US army to break this up at this rate! COLE After that chaotic scene, Josie Baker acted and made this astronomical battle royal, with the added incentive that the last two men standing tonight will go on to our Halloween Spectacular next week in Miami, competing one on one to determine who faces the World Heavyweight Champion at November Reign! A match graphic pops up, with two black sillohuette figures, hyping the #1 Contendership Match between '???' and '???'. An in no way totally unneccessary visual aid! COLE Now, the way this match is laid out isn't your typical battle royal. One man from each group will start the match, with eliminations to occur when someone is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. But at each interval, another member of each stable will enter. Which is a big disadvantage for The In Crowd considering they only have Leon and Zack in this thing. But a huge advantage for The Enterprise with six entrants, which means whoever are in Blocks 4 and 5 will be coming in alone and fresh. A huge advantage for The Enterprise, there's a surprise. COACH What are you implying? COLE I'm not implying anything. Why, guilty conscience? COACH Not a bit of it. You can't put this down to Enterprise bias. They're at a 9-6 disadvantage! No bias! And Josie threw everyone into this thing, even Leon Rodez, the one responsible for the entire brawl, so you can't say she's bias. COLE I wouldn't dream of it. Let's go up to Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your special Stables Battle Royal! The rules are as follows. One man from each of the four represented groups will begin the match. Then, at evenly timed three minute intervals there-after, each group will enter one more member. This process will continue until all groups are fully represented and until all 15 men have entered. Eliminations occur when a competitor is thrown over the top and onto the floor. The match continues until two men remain, with those two to go on to the Halloween Spectacular to compete for the number one contendership for the Heavyweight Championship of the world! Are you ready!? "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Washington D.C... ARE... YOU... RRRRRREEEEEEEEAADDYYYYY!?!? "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then... for the thousands in attendance here in our nation's capital... and for those watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen... llllllLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRREAADDYYYYY TO RRRRRUUUMMMBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here And the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" The red carpet is rolled out as "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays. And first to appear, not looking in the best of moods, is Ned Blanchard. The sullen Handsome Hustler throws his arms up over his head in a defiant signal to the boos of the crowd but certainly not the usual contempt he'd show for them were in his usual fine form. BUFFER Introducing first, Enterprise representative number one! Hailing from Beverly Hills, California... he weighs two hundred, thirty five pounds. One half of the walk of fame worthy Beverly Hills Blonds... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER"... NNEEEEEEEEEDD... BBLLLLLAAAAAAANNCCCCCHHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRRDD!!!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned enters the ring and instantly hits a corner, leaning in the turnbuckles with narrow eyes aimed at the crowd. COLE Boy, Ned continuing to draw the short straws. Entering first of six for the Enterprise tonight, this after what we heard earlier that The Heavenly Rockers will be representing The Enterprise in the Fatal 4-Way for the Tag Team Titles next week in Miami. In, what was, a surprise decision. COACH How was it a surprise? The Heavenly Rockers are one of the most successful teams in the OAOAST... COLE And so are The Beverly Hills Blonds, who unlike Logan and Synth are official, card-holding Enterprise members. "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits next, getting a bit more of a cheer from the crowd. Head down, Todd Cortez marches out and right towards the ring in a state of complete focus. His pyro goes off far behind him, already way past his cue. BUFFER Introducing next, representative number one for Cuucaracha Internacional! Hailing from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in at two hundred, twenty six pounds. He is "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOOOOORRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The black sheep of Cucaracha Internacional, Todd Cortez, who'll hold no stable pride but will be relishing the competition in this match nonetheless. COACH I'll bet. This is his only shot at number one contendership for anything while he's still refusing to fall in line. As Cortez slides into the ring, the arena goes dark. "God Of Thunder" pounds out through the arena. The entrance way lights up yellow, then fills up with yellow smoke, followed by the figure of Thunderkid walking through the smoke. With his half of the Tag Team Titles around his waist, Thunderkid walks tall and determined to the ring. BUFFER Representative number one for The Deadly Alliance. Hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin... he weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds. One half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... TTHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUNN - DDEEEEEEERRRRRKKIIIIIIIIIIIIDD!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Thunderkid enters the ring and raises his arms, then starts bouncing back and forth on the spot sizing his immediate opponents up. COLE Gang warfare here tonight and plenty more to come at the Halloween Spectacular, as Thunderkid and Reject will defend their Tag Team Titles against opponents from Cucaracha Internacional, The Enterprise and The In Crowd. COACH After months of talk, it's starting to heat up between these groups Michael. And the OAOAST may never be the same once the dust settles on it all. The three men in the ring all cast some threatening looks around, "Rock The Casbah" hits to bring the crowd to their feet. Sweeping through the entrance way is of course Leon Rodez, wearing a big grin on his face as he opens up his robe to reveal the Nerdly thrilling treats beneath. BUFFER And finally, representative number one of The In Crowd! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE NEW-AGE LOVE MACHINE"... "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leaping to the ring apron, Leon turns to the crowd and blows them a two-handed kiss before leaping in over the top. Thunderkid takes a step towards him, Leon throwing up a mocking boxing pose and daring him to 'fite me'. COACH See, this is all this punk's fault. Everybody was getting along fine throwing around groundless threats and then he had to light the touchpaper, didn't he? I see him for real now. Leon ain't no good guy. He's just a troublemaker, plain and simple! Rodez removes of his robe and suddenly we're ready to go, as the lone referee in the ring joins his two colleagues on the floor. Finding himself in the middle of the ring, Leon quickly dances to the one unmanned corner before anyone can jump him unexpectedly, before the bell sounds. COLE So all of these four are in the toughest position possible to make it to the Halloween Spectacular. Of course, the best position will be whoever enters sixth of The Enterprise. Gee, I wonder who that'll be. *DINGDINGDING!* On the bell, the four starters all carefully start to leave their corners. All prepared for a sudden attack from each other. As they near the middle of the ring, Leon and Cortez get within touching distance and look like they're about to lock hands... and the moment they take their focus away, Thunderkid and Blanchard pounce on them! TK clubs away at Leon, Ned doing the same on Cortez. COLE Thunderkid and Ned both spotting an opening there and the battle picks up where we left it last week, hot and heavy! After a European uppercut, TK looks for an irish whip. Next to him Ned has the same idea with Cortez. Both Leon and Cortez duck attacks coming back off the ropes though, rebounding back and baseball sliding through the legs in stereo. As they get to their feet Leon and Cortez look at each other, surprised to be in synchronicity, before both ducking clotheslines and both hitting dropkicks on their respective opponents! COLE How about that! Leon and Cortez again look each other in the eye and pretty soon they're face to face, about to go at it. Again the other two men in the match see an opportunity though and come charging. Alert, Leon sidesteps TK, who ends up clotheslining Cortez, who in turn bumps backwards into Ned. As they hit the mat, Leon tries to take advantage on TK, looking for an irish whip, which is reversed. Rodez hits the turnbuckles and Thunderkid charges, only to eat boot! Hitting the ropes, Leon looks to follow up... ...but gets caught and PRESSED, Thunderkid walking him over to the ropes... ...only for Leon to slip free before elimination! Landing on his feet, The Silky Smooth One turns TK around and goes to work with forearms, while Cortez stomps Ned in a corner across the ring. COLE I wonder what Tha Puerto Rican must be thinking watching this, with 15 guys in immediate title contention, plus the 4 he has to wrestle next week in Miami! COACH That's the beauty of a bloated roster baby. Irish whip attempt is reversed again by Thunderkid, but this time Leon grabs the ropes to stop himself and encourages TK to kiss his rear end. TK charges in, presumably not through eagerness to do just that, landing up with him drop toeholded (toeheld?) across the middle rope. COLE Uh-oh, get out them tap shoes! COACH That's horrible. A happy again Leon does the JIG~! before hitting the ropes and driving his body weight into the spine of the Tag Team Champion! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles! Fist pumping, Leon fires up the crowd. What he doesn't notice is Todd Cortez coming off the ropes to his side and LAUNCHING him into the air with the HOLLOW POOOOOOIIIIIIINT~! (Period.) Cortez jumps to his feet, but Ned is waiting with a clothesli... NO! Cortez sidesteps and guides Ned up and over the top... ...onto the apron, as Ned hooks the top rope and saves himself at the last second! COLE Oh, Ned almost gone! COACH That would have done him no favours with Mister Moneymaker, that's for sure. Maybe if Ned and Simon want to know why The Heavenly Rockers are repping the E at the Halloween Spectacular, they oughta look in the mirror. I still love'em though, don't get it twisted. As he rolls back inside Ned is stomped by Cortez, before being pulled up and hit with a European uppercut. And a second. Cortez then wrings the arm and looks for an irish whip. Spinning out in front, Ned reels Cortez in though and pulls a 180 to drop him throat-first across the top rope with the STUN GUN! Cortez whiplashes off the rope and holds his throat, as for a moment Ned is the only man standing. That moment soon passes though, as he turns around into a BICYCLE KICK from Thunderkid! COLE Bodies are flying in the early going. Physicality at every turn. Thunderkid steps over Ned's body, going back after Leon. He stomps him by the ropes, then stands on the bottom ring rope pressing it down across Leon's windpipe. TK delivers another few stomps, then pulls Leon up and tries to dump him over the top. COLE Here we go, Thunderkid looking to thin out the field a little. COACH And no surprise he goes for Leon. Good for him. Hanging on, Leon is able to avoid going to the floor as Thunderkid eventually pushes him over the top. He quickly scoots in under the apron and away from TK, giving him time to get to one knee and fire a right hand. And another. TK clubs back at Rodez, but a headbutt to the gut doubles him up, allowing Leon to get to his feet. He drives a bionic elbow to the back of the head, before backing off the ropes behind him. TK boots him in the gut though, elevating Leon into a fireman's carry and dumping him face-first to the canvas. Off the ropes, Thunderkid then follows up with a HARD boot to the side of the head! COLE Ooh! COACH That oughta make pretty boy a little less pretty, huh? COLE Maybe a little. COACH Ghey. With Leon down, Thunderkid goes after Cortez seeing him on the ropes. TK tries to lift Cortez over the top and calls Ned over to help him out. Still smarting from the Bicycle Kick, Ned gives TK no assistance though and instead gouges his eyes. Ned then tries to eliminate Thunderkid, only for Cortez to break it up. COLE We're getting ready for the next four entrants in under a minute. The face of this battle royal will change pretty dramatically at that point. Cortez and Ned trade shots, before Cortez makes some room... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and delivers a knifedge chop. Ned fires back with a right hand... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Cortez fires off a second chop. So Ned delivers a knee to the gut to cut him off. Pulling Cortez in, Ned then slaps on a sleeper, as we see in the aisleway the bandaged face of Sandman9000 appears. COLE Here we go and here comes the Heartland Champion! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Block 1 of this match is now underway. Entering the ring at this time, representative number two for The Deadly Alliance... the OAOAST Heartland Champion... SSAAAAANNDDMMMMMAAAAAANN 9000!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Sandman slides into the ring, Cortez tries to fight out of the sleeper. Turning to the side, he delivers an elbow to the ribs of Blanchard. And a second. With the hold weakened, Cortez then places a hand on Ned's back and shoots him off... ...into Thunderkid, WHO BACKDROPS NED UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh Ned, no! COLE There goes the Handsome Hustler, at the worst possible time! As Sandman and Thunderkid jump Cortez, Ned sits up to see an apologetic Simon Singleton running past him. BUFFER Representative number two of The Enterprise... "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIMMMMMMOOOOOOOONN... SSSIIIIINNGGLLLLLEEEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NED BLANCHARD ENTERED: #1, Enterprise LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid Left in ring: Todd Cortez, Thunderkid, Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Simon Singleton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Singleton attacks Thunderkid from behind with a double axehandle, then follows him into a corner. Cortez and Sandman continue to go at it as well, while the entrants keep on coming. BUFFER Representative number two for Cucaracha Internacional, one-third of the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champions... NNAAATTHHHAAAAAAANNIIIIIEEEEEEELLLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAACCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black leaves everyone else to their battles and targets Leon Rodez as he slides in, attacking him in a corner. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" COLE These people know who's coming next! COACH They're doing a better job than me then, this is confusing as hell! Those who are following this mess get their wish, as eventually out through the entrance bursts The Franchise, running to the ring at top speed. BUFFER And now entering the ring, the second and final representative of The In Crowd... the former three-time World Heavyweight Champion and undisputed Franchise of the OAOAST... ZZZAAAAAAAACCK... MMMMMAAAAAALLLIIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE BUSINESS HAS PICKED UP BAH GAWD!! Zack slides into the ring and he comes in swinging! Spinning Singleton around, he drops him with a right hand. Thunderkid takes a step forward, to get dropped with a right as well. Wheeling away, Zack is charged by Sandman, but he blocks him with a boot then goes on the attack. Palm strike from the left side, palm strike from the right, another from the left and Sandman is reeling. Off the ropes, Malibu delivers a clothesline that puts Sandman against the ropes but doesn't knock him down. And as the Heartland Champion comes back asking for more, Zack looks to deliver. As Zack hits the ropes, Sandman ducks his head looking for a backdrop. Zack sees it and hops behind into a waistlock. Standing switch by Sandman, but Zack switches back and dumps Sandman backwards with a German Suplex! COLE The Franchise is on fire! COACH Not for much longer. Coach's prediction looks accurate, as Cortez hits the ropes for the HOLLOW POOOOIIII... NO! Zack leapfrogs The Urban Legend, who ends up spilling to the floor. He quickly tries to get back inside, but Zack dropkicks his legs out, causing him to fall face-first into the ring apron! Cortez is then put in the firing line again, as Simon Singleton charges... ...AND ZACK BACKDROPS HIM OVER THE TOP ONTO THE URBAN LEGEND!!!! COACH Aw, damnit! COLE And whatever advantage The Enterprise had is disappearing before their eyes! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SIMON SINGLETON ENTERED: #2, Enterprise LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Todd Cortez, Thunderkid, Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zack turns away after the elimination... ...and comes face to face with Nathaniel Black, sending a wave of anticipation around the Wachovia Center! COACH Uh-oh! Uh-oh! COLE Would you look at this? Zack and Black, these two men have tore the house down every time they've met and they've been just dying for another shot at one another for months. And here it is! Already mouthing off to Zack, Black gives him a shove in the chest and dares him to take the first shot. No second invitation needed. Zack nails Black with a palm strike to the jaw. The Englishman responds with a BIG slap though, the sound echoing throughout the arena as Malibu reels backwards. As he does, he quickly has to drop down to avoid a Deadly Alliance double clothesline, which ends up nailing Black instead. Sandman and Thunderkid regroup as Zack charges them, letting him go through the middle of them. As he rebounds back they deliver a double boot and back off the ropes for another double clothesline, but Zack ducks. Sandman and TK keep going though... ...but as they rebound, Zack suddenly launches Leon Rodez overhead towards them, The Silky Smooth One coming out of the air with a dropkick that knocks both men backwards out of the ring!! COLE Excellent teamwork from The Usual Suspects, the former World Tag Team Champions! A high-five between Leon and Zack is a brief moment of calm, before Todd Cortez rolls back in and the Cucaracha Internacional twosome attack. Black jumps Leon while Cortez goes after Zack, beating them down before whipping them into opposite corners. With Black calling the shots, Todd whips his 'partner' across the ring towards Zack... and into a boot! Black staggers backwards, but Todd grabs him again anyway and whips him towards Leon... who also puts up a boot! COLE Not so excellent teamwork from Cortez and Black though. Understandably, Black isn't happy and yells at Cortez, even going so far as to shove him in the chest. Todd doesn't back down though and shoves his stable'mate' right back. COLE Uh-oh, Cucaracha Internacional in danger of falling apart! Nathaniel scowls at the push and gets in Cortez's face... BEFORE SURPRISING HIM WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE FACE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ooh! And somewhere, Landon Maddix must be fuming now! COACH I doubt it. Cortez is only in this to make up the numbers, you know that. As Cortez goes down, The Usual Suspects see their chance and sandwich Black between two meaty clotheslines. Black staggers, but doesn't go down. So Zack nails him with a shot to the face, sending him around into a jab from Leon! Open hand from Zack! A jab from Leon! Open hand! A jab! Open hand! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...AND BLACK'S HEAD ALMOST EXPLODES FROM AN ENZIGURI/SCHOOL'S OUT COMBO!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Black collapses like a felled redwood, completely KOed! COLE MAMA SAID... SCHOOL'S OUT!? COACH Dayyum. Just... dayyum. You look dayyum up in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of that. COLE I doubt it somehow, but whatever. Back in slide Thunderkid and Sandman, or attempt to at least. Zack and Leon meet them, keeping TK outside before bringing Sandman in. They send him into a corner with a double whip, before Zack follows in with a forearm smash. Zack then rolls backwards, with Leon soaring over top of him and driving the Superman Spear into the ribs! Sandman falls against the bottom turnbuckle... and Zack nails him with a facewash style knee strike off the ropes! COLE Boy, The Usual Suspects, the sole representatives for the In Crowd tonight, are doing exactly what they had to do. They are working as a well oiled machine. Quick, vibrant tag team combinations. Thunderkid makes it back in and is grabbed as soon as he does so. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Zack. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Leon. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Zack. And Leon decides to concede defeat, elbowing TK instead. After shrugs of the shoulders they load TK up, sending him off the ropes. Rodez lands a Rolling Sole BUTT, then scoops Zack up off the ropes, swinging him around with an assisted 619. As TK goes down, Rodez keeps a hold of Zack and throws him off his shoulder, bringing The Franchise down on top of Thunderkid with an assisted moonsault! COLE And again, another great combination of moves. COACH I can't argue against that. With The Usual Suspects standing, suddenly all eyes begin to turn to the entrance way, as the next wave of entrants begins... and begins with a very cautious REJECT, who slows almost to a stop as he sees Leon and Zack spot him. BUFFER Block 3 of this match will now begin. Entering the ring, representative number three for The Deadly Alliance... one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... RRRRRRRREEEEEJJJJEEEEEEEECCTT!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And Reject, in no rush to join the party. The Usual Suspects are rolling, but more than that, one of those Usual Suspects is Leon Rodez! Reject wipes a hand across his face and goes to enter the ring, but Leon takes a step forward and Reject suddenly thinks better of it. To the derision of the fans, The R-Man decides to wait it out, as he sees more help coming. BUFFER Representative number three for Cucaracha Internacional hails from The Isle Of Samoa and is one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... FFFFAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQQUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Alright, here we go! COLE A heavy hitter for sure, Faqu. The Samoan Wrecking Ball marches to the ring and Reject applauds him, encouraging him to "go get them". Faqu stops and glares at Reject for a moment, saying something to him in Samoan before he walks past him (to Reject's relief) and stomps up the ring steps. Just as enters the ring, out rushes DETECTIVE BOSLEY as well, diving in and going right on the attack, right as Faqu does the same! BUFFER And representative number three from The Enterprise. From Miami, Florida... "DETECTIVE" TTAAAAAAAANNGGOOOOOOOOOOO... BBOOOOOOOSSSLLLLLLEEEEEYYYYYYY!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley and Faqu brawl with Leon and Zack, giving Reject a window to safely slide into the ring. Sure enough, he goes right after Leon, knocking him down from behind while trading shots with Faqu. Reject stomps away on Rodez, not noticing that the Samoan hasn't appreciated his help and is glaring at him. Only when Reject stomps stomping and starts to pose does he realise. And by then it's too late, as Faqu nails him with a thrust to the throat! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Well that might shut Reject up for a little while. Hopefully. With Bosley and Zack still going at it, Faqu stalks towards them and nails them both. Grabbing them in headlocks, Faqu then delivers a headbutt to both at the same time, dropping both and coming out of it unphased. COLE That thick, Samoan cranium doing it's damage. And could Faqu be the difference maker in the Fatal 4-Way at the Halloween Spectacular, when he and James Blonde challenge for the Tag Team Titles? COACH It might take everyone else in that match to stop him. Just like it might do tonight. Faqu is caught from behind by Reject, who tries to take the fight to him but takes another thrust to the throat for his troubles. Meanwhile, Sandman9000 tries to eliminate Nathaniel Black but struggles to get the Brit up and over. Todd Cortez comes over to help out, but who we won't know as Sandman cuts him off with a mule kick just to be on the safe side. COLE So by my calculations, we've got four men left to enter. James Blonde for Cucaracha Internacional and CPA, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker all for The Enterprise, who although they only have one man in right now still hold all the big cards. Able to get off the ropes, Black fends Sandman off with a European uppercut. Over comes Faqu, attacking Sandman from behind with a Mongolian Chop. The Cucaracha Internacional duo then combine, trying to put the Heartland Champion over the top! Sandman wraps his legs around the ropes to save himself and clings on, waiting until Reject and Thunderkid come over to bail him out. Across the ring, Bosley pounds away on Zack, but soon finds himself outnumbered as Rodez spins him around and lands a forearm. Leon and Zack then corner Bosley, teeing off with right hands on the Alpha Male. BOSLEY COME ON, IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT!? Apparantly not, as Leon and Zack boot him in the gut, then lift a leg each and hover him over the top rope! COLE We've got Bosley in trouble here, Black maybe in trouble over in that corner with The Deadly Alliance and Cucaracha Internacional trios... who's going to the Halloween Spectacular!? Don't go anywhere, we will be right back!! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* When we return, we no longer see Detective Bosley in peril, instead on the attack on Leon Rodez. That's thanks to Sandman9000 currently working on Zack Malibu. Meanwhile, the World Tag Team Champions Reject and Thunderkid double team Faqu, trying to lift him out with Nathaniel Black busy with supposed team-mate Todd Cortez. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! with this historic battle royal in progress and would you look at this scene Coach? COACH What in the HELL is Cortez thinking!? That's what I wanna know. Why is he going after Nathaniel Black!? If anybody should know about gang warfare it's this guy, so what is he doing!? COLE I'd think that's pretty self-explanatory Coach. Cortez doesn't care about Cucaracha Internacional and the feeling's mutual. This is all about bein one of the last two for The Urban Legend. Black nails Cortez with a knee to break his flurry of forearms, then delivers a European uppercut. Grabbing Cortez behind the head he then tosses him over the top... ...but Cortez SKINS THE CAT! COLE Great agility! With that dealt with Black starts to go to help Faqu, but before he can do so Cortez spins him around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and cracks him with a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Black doubles over for a second, but uses it to his advantage with a headbutt to the sternum, surprising Cortez. Black then looks for an irish whip. Cortez reverses though, pulling Black back into a boot and setting him up ready for the RIOT ACT PLUS... ...NO! Bosley charges and levels him with a clothesline to put pay to that! BOSLEY YEAH! YEAH! *pounds chest* THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!! Fired up, Bosley turns around... and Black shows his gratitude by delivering the BLACK LARIAT!! COACH Nathaniel Black really likes nobody. I doubt he even likes Landon, Blonde or Faqu all that much. COLE He wouldn't be the only one. As Cortez gets to his feet, Black then grabs a hold of him... ...AND HURLS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Cucaracha Internacional, eliminating Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Good, eliminating not so good. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ ENTERED: #1, Cucaracha Internacional LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Nathaniel Black Left in ring: Thunderkid, Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, Reject, Faqu, Detective Bosley ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finally Black is able to get over and help out Faqu, one of his preferred CI allies, by grabbing Reject and peeling him away. A headbutt sends Reject collapsing to the canvas. TK runs over to help out, but Black delivers a headbutt to him as well. Black stays on the attack on Reject, while Leon runs over and dives at Faqu with some forearm shots. Lifting him up in his arms, Faqu tosses Rodez away with ease though. As Leon picks himself up, Faqu then shuffles his large frame to deliver a Thrust Kick! COACH See, Cucaracha Internacional don't even need Cortez out there. Not when they've got Faqu. Get Cortez outta the way and get on with it, that's what I say! COLE And they've got more coming right now! Right on cue, we see a confident James Blonde jogging out, applauding his best buddy (besides Landon, of course!) BUFFER Block 3 of this match now begins. Now entering, the fourth and final representative for Cucaracha Internacional... hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. One third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions! He is "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJJAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And that means we've got all three of the 6-Man Champions in there for Cucaracha Internacional now. As Blonde takes an eternity to take off all his trendsetting entrance attire, the other entrant at Block 3 makes his way out as well, to similarly negative reactions. BUFFER And representative number four for The Enterprise... now residing in Washington D.C. He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright sets his briefcase aside and starts to remove his polyester jacket, taking almost as much time as Blonde to prepare himself. COACH Hey, what's that all about? This man relocated to this city, our nation's capital and they show their appreciation by booing him? COLE I don't think Financial Analysts are too popular anywhere in the country right now, Coach. Especially in Washington. COACH True dat. COLE And especially if they're named Christian Wright. Finally Wright and Blonde join the fray, rolling in and immediately finding themselves going at it! Meanwhile, Faqu drills Thunderkid with a headbutt. Faqu then catches Sandman coming towards him, fending him off with a headbutt as well. The wave of bodies keeps coming though, Zack now going after his former rival. Predictably Faqu stays with what's working... but Zack expects it and throws his arms up across his face. That blocks enough of the headbutt for him to strike back, attacking Faqu's bulky midsection with open handed thrusts before closing the fists on some lefts and rights! Faqu finds himself backed against the ropes and Zack reaches down, trying to grab a leg and start lifting the Samoan towards elimination. But Faqu SLAPS him across the back, then slams Zack's head off of his knee. COLE Not many men capable of doing that! As Zack goes bowling away though, Faqu looks up to see Thunderkid thundering towards him... ...and NAILING HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE... ...SENDING FAQU OVER THE TOP... BUT TK'S MOMENTUM TAKES HIM RIGHT THE WAY OVER WITH THE SAMOAN AS WELL!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH MY! Thunderkid just EXPLODED into life and eliminated the mighty Samoan Wrecking Ball, but he commited battle royal suicide in the process! COACH The momentum it took to get Faqu over, it's no surprise. If you're clotheslining a guy who's 300 pounds with enough force to knock him over the top rope, the only thing stopping you is concrete. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FAQU ENTERED: #3, Cucaracha Internacional LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID ENTERED: #1, Deadly Alliance LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Ned Blanchard, Faqu ELIMINATED BY: N/A Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, Reject, Detective Bosley, James Blonde, Christian Wright ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Picking themselves up, Thunderkid and Faqu start to go at it again on the arena floor, drawing a flood of officials (well, three) over to try and seperate them. Distracted by his partner's elimination, James Blonde walks over and tries to get Faqu to calm down. As he turns around though, he little expects what's waiting... ...Reject, like a snake in the grass, striking with the EULOGY~!~1!!!~!! COACH BAM! Reject hops back to his feet and smirks down at Blonde... *SMACK* ...BEFORE THE SMIRK IS WIPED OFF HIS FACE VIA SCHOOL'S OUT!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE There's your 'BAM!' right there! Even before the kick has set in, Zack quickly turns around and charges Detective Bosley... ...AND CLOTHESLINES HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE AND THERE'S AN ELIMINATION!! Zack puts out the Alpha Male! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DETECTIVE BOSLEY ENTERED: #3, The Enterprise LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, Reject, James Blonde, Christian Wright ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Bosley flips out on the floor, Christian Wright looks to avenge his team-mate as he attacks Malibu. After wearing Zack down to his knees Wright locks on a front facelock, elevating Zack up for the gordbuster... NO! Zack escapes by driving his knee into the top of CW's head while upside down! COLE That's an innovative way to save yourself. Zack lands on his feet and grabs Wright looking to throw him out, but Wright goes deadweight before being thrown and just falls into the ropes. Not dettered, Zack continues to try and dump him out anyway. Across the ring, Nathaniel Black has Leon Rodez in a similar position looking for the elimination. Sandman9000 walks over and Black 'encourages' him to help him out... so Sandman nails him with a forearm instead. Away reels Black, while Sandman takes over on Leon. COLE Uh-oh. Uh-oh is right, for everybody in the ring, as the lone entrant in this block makes his way to the ring, CPA. BUFFER Entering in Block 4, the fifth representative for The Enterprise... from Miami, Florida and weighing two hundred, eighty pounds... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN... C... P... A!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" After getting hyped up by his V.I.C.E team-mate Bosley in the aisle, CPA enters the ring and immediately goes after Zack Malibu, surprising him with a bodyshot from behind. COLE And right after Zack! CPA, I'm sure on strict orders from Theodore Moneymaker, who surprise surprise will be coming out last in this battle royal. CPA continues to lay into the body of The Franchise with his heavy right hands, CW eventually lending a hand after getting his bearings back. They double-team Zack while Sandman9000 is forced to try and fight off Rodez, coming back with forearms. Sandman gets the better of the forearm exchange predictably enough. Hitting the ropes, he then goes for the Yakuza Kick... but Leon ducks and catches Sandman turning around with an Inverted Atomic Drop! Leon then trips the Heartland Champion up and applies the LIONTAMER!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Rodez has got Sandman trapped! COACH Yeah, but no submissions... and even if there were, Sandman wouldn't quit anyway. COLE This ought to soften Sandman9000 up a little though. With Sandman growling in pain, Nathaniel Black staggers over... and throws up his hands, leaving him to it!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Well, I guess that was deserved. Black instead goes after Reject who's just gotten to his feet, trapping him in a corner and delivering elbow smashes. With Reject dazed, Black then looks for an elimination. But Reject is able to place the sole of his boot in Nathaniel's face, SLAPPING it back against the skull twice to free himself. COLE Nasty shots from Reject, this man has been vicious in recent months. COACH Yeah and he's also been successful, which is all that matters in the end... Grabbing Black's head, Reject sends him face-first into the top turnbuckle. As Reject backs away though, he suddenly feels a tug on his tights and goes stumbling forward... ...ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR, AT THE HANDS OF LEON RODEZ!!!!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH YEAH!! COACH NO! COLE REJECT IS GONE!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REJECT ENTERED: #3, Deadly Alliance LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, James Blonde, Christian Wright, CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A furious Reject slams the ring apron and almost takes a swing at a referee, before getting even angrier seeing Leon waving to him from the ring. Reject tries to jump back in but the referees pull him away and send him heading to the back, much to his dismay. COLE A little bit of poetic justice, a small measure of payback, Reject gone at the hands of Leon Rodez! COACH What a sneaky move. He had the tights, he came in from behind... ugh! COLE Hey, look on the bright side, at least now Reject won't have to pull double-duty next week. COACH Shut up. With Reject (unhappily) on his way, Leon rushes over to help out Zack against CW and CPA. He slams the heads together with the trusty Double Noggin Knocker, then tries to dump Wright out! CPA clubs him with a double axehandle though. As Leon goes down, Zack jumps on CPA's back, only for the bigman to throw back an elbow, catching Zack right in the temple! COLE Ooh! Zack got caught hard there! CPA spins Leon around and wraps on a bearhug. Meanwhile, a reeling Zack staggers backwards... ...and before he knows what's hit him, HE SPILLS TO THE FLOOR AS BLACK DELIVERS A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!!! COLE WOAH, there goes Zack!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ZACK MALIBU ENTERED: #2, In Crowd LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: Simon Singleton, Detective Bosley ELIMINATED BY: Nathaniel Black Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, James Blonde, Christian Wright, CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Boy, that's a big surprise. Zack Malibu gone! COACH Nat doesn't enjoy much, but I can assure you he damn sure enjoyed that. COLE And the most relieved man in the building right now is Theodore Moneymaker, because now Zack won't have the chance to get his hands on him! COACH Even better! Not resting back on the elimination, no matter how satisfying, Black quickly targets Christian Wright and takes the fight to him. Meanwhile Sandman9000 is up and notices the one man free, James Blonde, curled up under the bottom rope. COLE Has Blonde done anything since he entered? Besides taking the Eulogy? COACH Well, he had that sweet jacket on... COLE I rest my case. Sandman walks over and grabs Blonde, dragging him off the ropes... ...but Blonde surprises him and pulls him forward... ...OVER THE TOP, BUT TO THE APRON ONLY!!! COLE No no, Sandman hangs on! The ever pleased with himself JB celebrates the elimination, only to feel that sinking feeling with the crowd telling him to turn around. Already begging off, Blonde takes a boot and gets planted with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS!!~!1!!!~1!! COLE It's not been a great night to be The Trendsetter. Sandman casually picks Blonde up... ...and just as casually deposits him over the top!!! COLE Nope, not a good night at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAMES BLONDE ENTERED: #4, Cucaracha Internacional LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Sandman9000 Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Christian Wright, CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Blonde hits the floor, the cheers turn to boos, as sauntering to the ring comes the last but not least leader of The Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your final entrant, representative number six and LEADER of The Enterprise! Hailing from Vero Beach, Florida... weighing two hundred, thirty seven pounds... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THHHHEEEEOOOOODDOOOOORRRREEE... MMMMOOOONNEEEEYYYMMMAAAAKKEEEEERRRR!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH The Messiah! Get it right! COLE The self-styled Messiah and he enters the ring in prime position. Not yet he doesn't. Reaching ringside, Theodore Moneymaker stands back with his arms folded and decides not to join the match just yet, despite the referees telling him to do so. "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" As abuse is flung Moneymaker's way, all of which he rises above, the battle continues in the ring with the other five remaining. Sandman9000 sneaks up behind CPA, kicking him in the back which breaks his bearhug on Leon. Worn out, he falls to the mat, while Sandman lands forearm shots to CPA. One big punch to the ribs from the former ex-boxer cuts Sandman off though. With the Heartland Champ doubled over, CPA then preps the fist... and lands a knockout shot to the head!! COLE There's not many who can put Sandman9000 down with one strike, but CPA is definately high on that list. CPA turns around and clubs Nathaniel Black with a double axehandle, saving Christian Wright from elimination. Turning him around, he delivers body shots to the Englishman before pinning his arms behind his back. CW quickly hops to the middle rope and lands a fist, before CPA puts Black down with a clothesline. COACH Boy, it's looking good for The Enterprise now, huh Cole? COLE Well that might have something to do with the fact that Wright and CPA both entered after everybody else in the match and Theodore Moneymaker hasn't even gotten that far yet! COACH Mere details. All I know is, everybody else has one guy left, The Enterprise have three. With things going his men's way, Moneymaker finally takes off his white robe and starts to enter the match. Halfway up the steps though, he stops, seeing Leon Rodez get to his feet... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and spin CW around into a chop! CPA reacts... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...but gets chopped as well! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop for CW. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop to CPA. With both men reeling, Leon turns and hits the ropes... ...but Moneymaker catches his ankle, causing him to stumble into a knee from CPA. The bigman then whips Leon into Tne Natural, who takes Rodez up and down with the WRIGHT OFF!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there's the numbers advantage. Not even three on one, could Moneymaker risk anything other than a sly trip from the floor though. COACH What are you talking about, he's getting in the ring, isn't he? COLE Oh sure, now he is! Sliding in, Moneymaker wears a big smile on his face as he congratulates his men on a good well done. Not a job completed though. Moneymaker quickly orders his troops as Sandman staggers back to his feet. CPA quickly grabs him, scooping and slamming the veteran. Moneymaker then shooes him out of the way, before delivering a FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~!~! COACH What a move! Textbook! COLE You've got to be kidding me. Lording it over Sandman as if he'd done all the damage, Moneymaker demands more. Christian quickly drags Leon over and steps aside, as Moneymaker falls back with another FISTFUL~!~! COACH Again! How impressive is Theodore Moneymaker looking right now? Look out World Championship! Moneymaker feels in fine form now and stalks Nathaniel Black as he gets to his feet. From behind, he delivers a big knee to the kidneys. Black falls into the ropes, bounced right back into Moneymaker's waiting arms and locked in the BANK VAU... ...NO!! Black slips out before the hold can be clamped in, ducking behind INTO THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! OH NO! COLE MONEYMAKER'S CAUGHT! His boss's wails of pain get Christian's attentions and he quickly rushes to help... ...but Black ducks down AND CHRISTIAN ENDS UP TUMBLING OVER THE TOP!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHRISTIAN WRIGHT ENTERED: #4, The Enterprise LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Nathaniel Black Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, CPA, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Things don't look quite so good now! Luckily for Moneymaker, CPA makes a better job of saving him with a hard punch to Black's exposed ribs. As Black stumbles away from the ropes, CPA then measures him up. Coming off the ropes, he loads up the GIGATON PUNCH... ...BUT SANDMAN CATCHES HIM OFF THE ROPES WITH A YAKUZA KICK, SENDING HIM SPILLING UP AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WHAT A SHOT!! There goes CPA, there goes the numbers advantage! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA ENTERED: #5, The Enterprise LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Sandman9000 Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Before Sandman can pull his leg from across the top rope though, Theodore Moneymaker plays opportunist AND DUMPS HIM OVER THE TOP RIGHT ONTO CPA!!!! COLE And just like that, we're down to three! The Heartland Champion got caught! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SANDMAN9000 ENTERED: #2, The Enterprise LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: James Blonde, CPA ELIMINATED BY: Theodore Moneymaker Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Nathaniel Black, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Theodore Moneymaker afford himself a laugh, even after seeing his two team-mates eliminated seconds apart. As he turns around, the laughing stops. Very abruptly, as he sees Nathaniel Black and Leon Rodez both staring at him. "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH Eek! COLE Oh boy! It's down to Moneymaker, Rodez and Black. Two of these men will fight for the number one contendership on Halloween night! Caught in a bad position, Moneymaker does what anyone in his position would... he flashes the "money fingers", hoping to buy someone off! He tries to convince both that they only need to eliminate the other and they'll face him in eight days, easy as. Both Black and Rodez are unmoved though and Moneymaker backs up, until he can back up no further. Just when The Messiah looks at his most vulnerable though, Black turns around and surprises Leon with a Lariat from the left side! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker breathes a sigh of relief and pats Black on the back... ...earning a Lariat of his own!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Sure enough, Nathaniel Black doesn't care about money. And he damn sure doesn't care about either man left in this battle royal with him. He just cares about the number one contendership. Picking Moneymaker up, Black grabs a hold of the hair and with the Washington crowd cheering, he runs him towards the ropes... but Moneymaker drops to a knee and with a quick pull of the tights, drags Black face-first into the middle turnbuckle! COLE Well, if Moneymaker's going to make it to The Halloween Spectacular, he's going to have to do it on his own merits now. And that's as good a start as any. COACH Mister Moneymaker's more than capable, don't you worry. Just because he's got a large support staff backing him, people make out like he's a coward or something. COLE Heaven forbid. COACH Exactly! Propping Black chest-first in the corner, Moneymaker begins to club away at the shoulders with forearms, then works on the kidneys with some well placed knees. Meanwhile, Leon is pulling himself back up. Shaking out the cobwebs, he charges. Moneymaker moves out of the way, so Leon lands an elbow on Black. Coming out of the corner Rodez gets caught with a boot though, set up for a Piledriver. Kicking his legs, Leon is able to block once, then twice, before tripping the legs and looking for the Liontamer!! Moneymaker won't go though and before Leon can turn him, Black appears in front of him and delivers another hard Lariat... ...causing Leon to slingshot Moneymaker into the turnbuckles as he hits the mat!! COLE Here we go! As Moneymaker staggers off the turnbuckles, Black is measuring him. He charges, looking for a final Lariat... ...but Moneymaker dips the head, BACKDROPPING BLACK UP... ...AND ONTO THE APRON!! COLE Oh, so close! COACH Black's still not safe yet though. Black is able to get to his feet before Moneymaker can force him the rest of the way, a slugfest ensuing between the two. Moneymaker chops Black a couple of times, but Black responds by blocking a right hand and elbowing The Messiah. And again. Black then tries to get back into the ring... but a BILLION $ KNEELIFT stops him in his tracks! Black falls back out to the apron and Moneymaker reaches over to pick him up. An elbow further rocks Black, before Moneymaker grabs a hold of the head and prepares to hang him across the top rope... but Black breaks free of the grip, AND NAILS MONEYMAKER WITH A LARIAT!! COLE Oh man! Black almost caved Teddy's chest in with that one! Still Black isn't safe though, as before he can think of re-entering the ring, Leon Rodez springs into life. He leaps to the middle rope and springboards, delivering a dropkick... ...AND BLACK GRABS THE MIDDLE ROPE ON HIS WAY DOWN, FEET HOVERING INCHES FROM ELIMINATION!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAA...." COLE Is he..... can he..... COACH He's gotta go, he's gotta, surely! Picking himself up, Leon seems surprised to see Black hanging in, albeit by his fingertips. The Silky Smooth One smirks and makes a move towards the Englishman. But as he does, Theodore Moneymaker stands up and catches his eye. Taking a last look at Black desperately hanging on, Leon looks up and shrugs... ...BEFORE TOSSING MONEYMAKER OUT INSTEAD!!!! "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE That's it! We've got our winners! COACH .....WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO THAT FOR!?! That's exactly what Theodore Moneymaker is asking, as he looks up to see Nathaniel Black finally able to let go of the ropes and safely hit the floor on the referee's assurance. Moneymaker holds his head in his hands, as Black then rolls back into the ring, joining Leon in having his hand raised in joint victory. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THEODORE MONEYMAKER ENTERED: #6, The Enterprise LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Sandman9000 ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So it will be, next week in Miami, Leon Rodez and Nathaniel Black, with the winner to get the World Title shot at November Reign! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BATTLE ROYAL CO-WINNER: NATHANIEL BLACK ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Zack Malibu, Christian Wright BATTLE ROYAL CO-WINNER: LEON RODEZ ELIMINATED: Reject, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With Moneymaker being led away from the ring, distraught, Leon can't help but rub it in even further by offering his 'apologies' to The Messiah. Fuming, Moneymaker points the finger at The Silky Smooth One, who just shrugs his shoulders again. COACH I'm still waiting for answer, what the HELL did Rodez do that for!? COLE Well, I don't know! I don't know if he just wanted Moneymaker gone, or just saw an opportunity, thought Black was going to get himself back in. I doubt it was out of any respect for Natha... *WHAM!* Suddenly, the celebrating Leon gets caught and NAILED with a Lariat by Nathaniel Black! COACH Haha, there we go! COLE Now wait, the match is over! COACH Not for Nat Black it ain't! The referees wave wildly at Black to try and stop him, as he picks Leon back up. Crossing the arms under the chest the Englishman SPITS towards the zebra-stripes, before lifting Rodez up and PLANTING him with the BRITTANIA BOMB!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black shoves Rodez's body away from him as he stands up, raising his arms and announcing himself as the one true winner. COLE That's certainly a strange show of gratitude! If it wasn't for Rodez, Black wouldn't have made it to the Halloween Spectacular, let alone have been left standing right now! COACH Yeah, but he is. That's a message if ever I saw one. COLE Folks, we hope you join us Halloween night, Black and Rodez for real plus the 5-Man Prism Match for the World Title and SO much more, you don't want to miss it! For The Coach, I'm Michael Cole, we'll see you in Miami! *FADE TO BLACK* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
