The Simpsons Character Draft

[Boner Kawanger 0]

Most folk'll never lose a toe

But then again some folk'll

Like my pick: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

 

(Cletus is my mother's favorite character, for what it's worth.)

 

Hey, Brandine! You might could wear these to your job interview.

 

And scuff up the topless dancin' runway? Nah. You'd best bring 'em back where from ya got 'em.

 

Okay....back you go. To waits for a woman of less discriminating taste...hey, you know what? I could call my ma from up here. Hey, Ma! Get off the dang roof!

 

Now I have Cletus but Brandine is still out there along with their smellhound Geech and their kids, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil.

[TheFranchise 0]

Barney Gumble

 

 

"Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left!"

[Nighthawk 0]

"Hey, Barney's right!"

 

"Yeah, les get sommore beer."

 

"Yeah, Barney's right."

 

 

"Ok, ok. Keep it down you guys."

[Youth N Asia 0]

Lenny Leonard

 

Moe: "Hey, Bob! How come you can't kill Bart? Killing a kid should be easy!"

Lenny: "If it was me, I'd just slash him open while he's sleeping."

[TheFranchise 0]

Ha.

 

I was deliberating on whether to pick Lenny or Barney too.

[Youth N Asia 0]

I had a top 4 and Lenny won out

 

Front page could use an update

[Mecha Mummy 0]

"Kids, turn off the TV, I have some bad news about Lenny!"

"Oh, no! Not Lenny!"

[Youth N Asia 0]

I was thinking I'd be able to find better pictures online

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Most folk'll never lose a toe

But then again some folk'll

Like my pick: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

 

(Cletus is my mother's favorite character, for what it's worth.)

 

Hey, Brandine! You might could wear these to your job interview.

 

And scuff up the topless dancin' runway? Nah. You'd best bring 'em back where from ya got 'em.

 

Okay....back you go. To waits for a woman of less discriminating taste...hey, you know what? I could call my ma from up here. Hey, Ma! Get off the dang roof!

 

Now I have Cletus but Brandine is still out there along with their smellhound Geech and their kids, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil.

 

Plus his new kids (though he's only the father of the one who can't adlib and the one who can't do something else I forget) introduced in "Yokel Chords": Whitney, Jitney, Dubya, Incest, Crystal Meth, International Harvester, and Birthday

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Hey al, can you mod it up and do the update for CG now that we're into round 3 and Rando is OTC?

[Boner Kawanger 0]

Most folk'll never lose a toe

But then again some folk'll

Like my pick: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

 

(Cletus is my mother's favorite character, for what it's worth.)

 

Hey, Brandine! You might could wear these to your job interview.

 

And scuff up the topless dancin' runway? Nah. You'd best bring 'em back where from ya got 'em.

 

Okay....back you go. To waits for a woman of less discriminating taste...hey, you know what? I could call my ma from up here. Hey, Ma! Get off the dang roof!

 

Now I have Cletus but Brandine is still out there along with their smellhound Geech and their kids, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil.

 

Plus his new kids (though he's only the father of the one who can't adlib and the one who can't do something else I forget) introduced in "Yokel Chords": Whitney, Jitney, Dubya, Incest, Crystal Meth, International Harvester, and Birthday

After posting, I found out there have been 44 Cletus kids on the show. Bart almost married one last season.

[Youth N Asia 0]

And her middle name was Wrestlemania

[Scroby 0]

Marge: "Well Lenny looks happy."

 

Lenny (Smiling): "This is the saddest day of my life."

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

My next pick isn't the obvious one.....

 

Earlier I alluded to four one-offs/celebs that I had on my list. Incredibly, I didn't include this one. I suppose it makes sense given that no one else picked him, but that's a surprise too. Besides, my list is written down in the other room, which I'm too lazy to walk to. I'm like a rug on valium, I'm so lazy. I'm very happy to pick:

 

 

Larry Burns.

[Brett Favre 0]

Awesome pick. Totally forgot about him.

[JJ Johnson 0]

I use the "Semper Fudge" line all the time.

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

I HAVE to take this one, just in case.

 

OZZIE SMITH!

 

I can't find a single usable picture, unfortunately.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Larry Burns - excellent pick.

[Aero 0]

As soon as I entered the thread tonight, I asked myself: Where's Poochie?

 

 

He may not have worked out very well on the Itchy & Scratchy Show, but if he was louder, angrier, and had access to a time machine, I think the results would have been much better.

 

 

[Prophet of Mike Zagurski 0]

Similarly, I'll take Itchy the mouse. Yeah I picked the dominant one of the group. With the Simpsons, there are a lot of pairs of characters, so it's hard to choose just one knowing the other one could be taken.

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

 

 

Gil Gunderson

 

 

"Ah, please you gotta help ol' Gil, whats it gonna take to keep you on the phone, I...dance for you? B-but you wouldn't even see it, y..a-alright, ha ha, I'm dancing! (starts singing & tap dancing)"

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

EXCELLENT pick.

[Brett Favre 0]

 

Lyle Lanley.

 

Lyle Lanley: Well sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail! What'd I say?

Ned Flanders: Monorail!

Lyle: What's it called?

Patty & Selma: Monorail

Lyle: That's right, monorail!

All chant: Monorail, monorail, monorail...

Ms Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud

Lyle: It glides as softly as a cloud

Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle: Not on your life, my Hindu friend

Barney: What about us braindead slobs?

Lyle: You'll be given cushy jobs

Grampa: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle: No, good sir, I'm on the level

Chief Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can

Lyle: Take my pen knife, my good man; I swear it's Springfield's only choice! Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All chant: Monorail!

Lyle: What's it called?

All chant: Monorail!

Lyle: Once again!

All chant: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken

Bart: Sorry, mom, the mob has spoken

All chant: Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!

Homer: Mono-d'oh!

[JJ Johnson 0]

Gil's eatin' food tonight!

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Did anyone else notice Brooklyn didn't use a period once, but did appropriately use a handful of question marks, exclamation points, and semicolons?

 

Great pick, though.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Lyle Lanley holy shit, this draft is getting more epic by the pick.

[Youth N Asia 0]

It was pretty much a coin toss between Lenny and Gil. Solid pick, sir

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

 

Otto Mann is part of the best sign gag in the show's history:

 

*Exiting the cookware store known as "Stoner's Pot Palace"* "Man, that is flagrant false advertising!"

 

 

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

Good pick. I was thinking about drafting Otto.

[Burning Pirate Ship Sex 0]

"A sponge!?! I'll show you a sponge..."