Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 (edited) It's a cold opening to our weekly extravanganza, with a still shot of Tha Puerto Rican making his entrance in front of a sea of cheering fans appearing on the screen. COLE Breaking news as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion goes down with injury, just under three weeks from November Reign! We see a still shot of PRL from later on that night, wearing a grimace on his face. COLE Tha Puerto Rican suffered a suspected torn bicep competing at an OAOAST live event in Lowell, Massachussets earlier this week. The World Champion will visit specialists in the next few days to assess the full extent of the damage. But, PRL has vowed to compete on through the injury and defend his World Championship, no matter what the cost. Another still shot shows Tha Puerto Rican nursing his left arm as he's helped down the aisle by referee Mike Chioda. COLE Tonight, Tha Puerto Rican will appear in The Love Shack and we hope to hear more from the man himself. This is the OAOAST... and this is HeldDOWN~! PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We're brought to the Thanksgiving themed decor of Sofa Central, where fortunately the live turkeys have been left back in Milwaukee. COLE Folks welcome to another exciting edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN from Greenville, South Carolina! On tap tonight we’ve got the aforementioned Love Shack, a submissions count anywhere match between a guy who hardly ever uses submissions and a girl who doesn’t know what one is, and a whole lot of other zany, wacky, and wonderful crap to boot! COACH Are you done yet? I got something to say. COLE And that is? COACH Coachie pooped in Coachie’s underwears! The 1-2 musical punch of “My Dick” and “Womanizer” plays Mr. Dick to the ring. But this isn’t the cocky Real American Prick we’re accustomed to. Instead we see a man in a checked mark prop 8 t-shirt…SCRATCHING HIS CROTCH? COACH Ohmigod! What happened to Mr. Dick? COLE Perhaps he’s still feeling the effects of… Well, let’s see for ourselves. COACH Do we have to? HeldDOWN~! LAST WEEK The commotion soon sorts itself out into enormous cheers as the camera catches Krista Isadora Duncan swatting down Christian Wright with a lacrosse stick! Just as soon as Wright goes down, does Moneymaker realize something is seriously amiss and with Mackenzie in hand he quickly scurries out the ring. From the safety of the ramp they watch in abject horror as Mister Dick is mortally wounded by vicious shot to his pride and joy! COACH In the immortal words of Sir Charles, that’s just turrible, Mikey Cole. Krista ruined a special ceremony for Mr. Dick. COLE In which he was being rewarded by Theodore Moneymaker for beating her at the Halloween Spectacular. This despite the fact it was a tag match and Malaysia being the one who got the pin on Jade Rodez! Mr. Dick enters the ring in severe discomfort, but it doesn’t prevent him from letting his voice be heard. MR. DICK I don’t mean to alarm anybody, but there’s been a terrorist attack. It wasn’t on some embassy or anything like that. This was much worse because it targeted America’s largest self-erected structure…MY DICK! Ya see, Mr. Dick is always up for a good blow, but not of the variety I received right here last week. This shock to my cock has left me moody and unable to cram all 12 inches of U.S.D.A. prime beef in Malaysia’s tight asshole. And when it’s not crashing down and throbbing deep inside, Malaysia is one unhappy chick which some poor broad’s gonna learn the hard way later tonight when Jade Rodez gets a sneak peek of what’s to come at November Reign. But Malaysia isn’t alone. Mr. Dick has got some steam to blow off himself and I plan on releasing it on you, Krista. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MR. DICK See, I promised that before it was all said and done I’d make you submit and ram all 12 inches down your throat, and Mr. Dick doesn’t go back on his promises. I’ve always known you suck, Krista, but tonight you’ll shallow! COLE What a dick! “In My Arms” hits and a look of shock falls across the face of Mr. Dick, but the crowd is absolutely electric for KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN. COACH What a bitch! Lacrosse stick in hand, Miss California appears onstage seemingly amused by Mr. Dick’s comments. KRISTA (shakes head) Dickie, Dickie, Dickie. Shame on you trying to get me all riled up like that. Do we not remember what happened the last time you did that? I mean really, honey, it was only 1 week ago! You know, when I gave you thar impromptu physical? Except when I cupped you with this stick you didn’t cough…you screamed like a little bitch! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MR. DICK KRISTA By the way, have you visited the doctor lately? You seem all itchy. Are you OK? MR. DICK What concern is it of yours? KRISTA I’m a mommy. It’s my business to be concerned, Dick-- MR. DICK Enough of this Dickie crap. It’s Mr. Dick, ya hag. But I’ll go ahead and answer your question anyway. I had a bad reaction to some fabric softener, that’s all. The dumb broad who handles my dry cleaning must’ve used the cheap shit. KRISTA Is that so? Well let me ask you a follow up question. Does this look familiar to you? Krista pulls out an empty PERFUME BOTTLE from her lacrosse stick’s webbing, causing Mr. Dick’s eyes to light up like a Christmas tree. He plays it cool though. MR. DICK (nervous laugh) I don’t know what you’re talking about. KRISTA Fabric softener, huh? ROLL IT~! COLE/COACH S&M TV Shot in beautiful Technicolor, hidden camera footage takes inside an ASIAN MASSAGE PARLOR where Mr. Dick enters clad only in a larger black/yellow version of his official towel (product placement at its finest). He stops in his tracks when the gorgeous masseuse turns to face him. MR. DICK (licking chops) Well hello again, Ima Hoe. Or should I say Dr. Feelgood? MASSEUSE I beg your pardon? MR. DICK Mr. Dick never forgets a chick that gives him a hard-on. I remember that cup of herbal tea you had as the manager of The Love Doctors. HOE I put that part of my life behind me long ago. MR. DICK Funny, because there’s something I’d love to stick in behind you. Mr. Dick grabs Ima and starts to feel her up. She pushes him away. HOE Jock, please, let’s maintain some professionalism. MR. DICK Hey, you’re supposed to make me feel good. HOE And I will…with a nice rubdown. MR. DICK Ah, now we’re talking. Mr. Dick removes his towel to expose his bare ass, and then rests back on the massage table. A headshot of him smiling is used to censor his freakish humongous genitals. HOE MR. DICK Congratulations, babe. Not too many chicks ever get the pleasure of handling The Dick. HOE Excuse me? MR. DICK Uh, hello?! We’re in an Asian massage parlor. Your hands, my dick. Chop, chop. I ain't askin you to chug the whole 12 inches down, though by the looks of you I bet ya could fit a couple sprite cans in your mouth. Asian girls just don't know how to suck a man right. I think its cause ya'll eat all them noodles and rice, it don't take no effort to eat those, you ain't gotta put in any mouth work. Black girls? Black girls put in some work! 'Cause they gotta eat that fried chicken and those biscuts and those ribs, and those are huge foods, so they get a mouth work out, so when it comes time to cram the beef on in there, they're experienced pros by the time they're 13! White girls is like a cracker jack box, you never what kinda prize your gonna get. I think it all depends on how close they grew up to black girls. You get one of those thugged out down for life white girls, and you got some good good suckin goin on. But you get one of those princess that act like invading your trousers is the invasion of normandy I kick those bitches outta bed. I don't got time for that! It’s clear by her body language that Ima doesn’t appreciate Mr. Dick’s tone or his odd racial philsophies, which Patty O'green cosigns 100%, and I'm sure Tony will agree! HOE We’re not that kind of… MR. DICK A light bulb is superimposed over Ima’s head. Oh that Simon and Molly and their creative thinking. HOE (whispers) Shh, we’re told to be discreet about that. MR. DICK HOE For safety reasons I’m going put gloves on. You can never be too careful nowadays. MR. DICK I believe it was martial arts legend Bruce Lee who said the only limitation is limitation. So ya see, Mr. Dick throws caution to the wind and flies free as a bird! You ought to give it a try. It’s a very liberating experience. HOE I'll be sure to make that one of my new years resolutions. MR.DICK Chinese new year? HAHAHAHAAH! Get it, 'cause you're one of them, aintcha. I ain't got nothin against the Ching-chong though, matter of fact when I played Street Fighter back as a boy I used to always pick Ryu and he's a Jap, so we're all one that's what I say. Following a splatter of oil on the gloves, Ima begins to service a certain part of Mr. Dick’s body. HOE I just may do that one day. Tell me, how’s everything going in the OAOAST? MR. DICK Great for Mr. Dick, the fastest rising up and comer in the business. I’m setting the joint on fire. It’s only a question of time before I win the OAOAST Championship. Right now I’m stuck dealing with that California queen Krista. This chick is like a bad Disney movie that airs nonstop. But I’m not gonna worry about Krista today. Nope. I’m just gonna lay back, relax and enjoy the bang up job you’re doing handling that piece of heaven in your hands. Always had a thing for Asian chicks. Say, why don’t you utter that line your people are famous for? You know, “me love you long time.“ And speak with the accent for the rest of our… UGH! Tired of Mr. Dick’s attitude Ima puts the squeeze on. HOE You like that? MR. DICK YEAH! MAKE IT POP LIKE A PIMPLE!! HOE That’s why they call me Dr. Feelgood, baby. MR. DICK (grunting/moaning) And you’re making me feel real good alright. Now say the line for me. HOE Me love you long time! MR. DICK Again. HOE Me love you long time! MR. DICK Oh, yeah, you’re about to strike gold, you whore! Again. HOE Me love you long time! MR. DICK HOE Here baby, let me help you. The good doctor turned masseuse cleans the mess with a piece of tissue paper, then reaches for a battle of perfume. MR. DICK What’s that? HOE Ancient Far East custom. A dash of this and you’ll never forget your experience. MR. DICK Then lay it on me, baby! Ima gets in close and sprays Mr. Dick’s crotch. HOE Please be sure to come again. The video cuts off. Back live in the arena Mr. Dick is fuming. KRISTA Hey cocksucker, why don’t we let the rest of the world in on our little secret? That’s no bad reaction to fabric softener you’re dealing with…it’s a case of the crabs. PUBIC LICE! COLE/COACH “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” MR. DICK Mr. Dick charges towards Krista and takes a shot to the ribs courtesy of the lacrosse stick! Her foe doubled over, Krista rips the shirt off his back and throws it down in defiance, but when she takes a swing at Mr. Dick’s head he ducks and slams her onstage with PURE PENETRATION! MR. DICK Alright Krista, it's time to open up and say MFHFFIMFFQUMMITMMFF! With that statement Mr. Dick shoves Krista’s face in his crotch! COACH Do it for all us men, MD! Do it for all us men who can't even have a proper fantasy about her because she's a lesbian without it involving us havin to crossdress in it in someway! Tired of having to stuff a bra and wear a strapless gown every time I wanna get my beat my meat off! COLE Oh, my! There will be hell to pay when Krista comes to and faces Mr. Dick later tonight in the submission match. COACH She just came face to face with the real Mr. Dick! It’s nice to see there’s at least one person who still keeps his promises. Mr. Dick poses over Krista, itching, as we go to break. COMMERCIAL COLE For those of you who missed Syndicated this week... COACH *raises hand* COLE ...it was another bad night at the office for Cucaracha Internacional, as brand new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions were crowned, in the form of Jamie O'Hara and The Christ Air Express! A replay of the ending to the match plays for those of you who might have missed it (I know who you are!), showing Nathaniel Black's accidental Black Lariat on Faqu, leading to a face-off between then two. O'Hara would send them from the ring with a Springboard Heel Kick and wipe them out with a Space Flying Tiger Drop. James Blonde's attempted Illegally Blonde on Mel was blocked by MARV, before The CAE sent him to the Pearly Gates with a Flatliner/Enziguri combo. The Christ Air Express then went on to deliver Sent From Above and despite Landon's despairing efforts, the titles changed hands. From that, we find ourselves back in the Cucaracha Internacional locker room where the recriminations continue from last weekend. With his troops lined up, or three of them at least, Landon paces backwards and forwards with his hands on his hips. MADDIX Every month it's the same story. Landon stops pacing and glares at the three in front of him. Nathaniel Black glares right back and Faqu is Faqu, looking around the room wondering why he's standing in a line with everyone else. So Landon directs himself to Blonde, the one showing outward sorrow. MADDIX You know, I put this group together with visions of greatness. I hand-picked you three guys to follow my lead. I've done all I can to nurture you three, to guide you three, to provide opportunities for you three... Landon is stopped by the sound of Megan clearing her throat. MEGAN Uhm, Landon, you mean four, right? Megan points over to Todd Cortez sat in the corner of the room. After glancing over, Landon looks back to the group... and he and Blonde promptly break out into spontaniously laughter. MADDIX (wipes away a tear) Oh, oh-ho-ho, that's a good one. BLONDE Yeah, good one Megs! Good one! The laughing continues, before Landon remembers that he's pissed and scowls at his crew again. Very quickly, Blonde quits laughing and goes back to his apologetic face. MADDIX You know what, you stand there laughing, but maybe Megan's got a point. MEGAN 'Maybe'? Screw this, I'm gonna go grab a coffee. MADDIX Yeah, get me one too while you're at it wouldya? No cream. Megan grumbles under her breath as she leaves the room, the door closing with a noticeable slam behind it. MADDIX I never thought I'd see the day where I'd have to do this. But, it's time for some tough love. You guys have been spoilt. Spoilt by my forgiving nature. And enough is enough. Oh, I could put it down to bad luck and missed opportunities at first, a gentle pat on the back and a better luck next time and off you'd go to enjoy the life of 6-Man Tag Team Champions. But now look at us! No wins on the last pay per view. No belts. No prospects. This isn't what I invisioned for you. It's not what I invisioned for Cucaracha Internacional. You know what's going around the locker rooms and the corridors when they speak the name of Cucaracha? Laughter! We should command respect, command fear, but we don't command a damn thing right now with you losing all the time! So, as of right now, we're stepping back. No more competing with The Enterprise, or The Deadly Alliance. We need to regroup first. And on top of that, as far as I'm concerned, you're ALL on probation from this point on! That surprises Blonde, who's eyes bulge. Black just looks pissed off at the mere suggestion, while even Cortez seems surprise enough by this to turn around and start paying attention. BLACK You wot? MADDIX I said, you're all on probation. (points at Cortez) Like him! After the way you've all been performing in the past couple of months and all the missed opportunities I've seen passing this group by, you need to prove yourselves again, because whatever stock of respect you had is running very low. BLACK That's bollocks. I've been askin' you to gimme Malibu for months, so I could beat his arse, put us back on the up an' you ain't done a thing about it! MADDIX Nat, I've told you a hundred times, now is not the time. When it is the time, you'll get what you want. BLACK Yeh, you keep sayin' it, but I ain't seein' it... MADDIX LOOK! I'm the leader, okay? Me! BLONDE Yes you are! Even Blonde's sucking up isn't working on Landon, so he must really be unhappy. So much so, he ignores the slap in the back of the head Black gives the Canadian. But he quickly acts when Faqu turns to Black. MADDIX Hey HEY HEY! HEY! Cut it out, come on! THIS is why you're on probation! It's all 'me, me, me' with you guys. And I'm sick of it. No one man is bigger than Cucaracha Internacional, except me! I don't want to hear any of the 'me, me, me', I want to hear more 'Landon, Landon, Landon'! BLONDE "Landon, La..." MADDIX Not now, hey James? Jeez. Look, the bottom line here is, you guys have got some making up to do to me. Unless you want me to perform a talent reshuffle, that is. Printing up new shirts with new flags on wouldn't be that hard. Prove yourselves, that's all I'm asking. And you know what, I see you looking at me like 'what the hell' and it's tough for me too, which is why I'm even gonna get into the trenches with you, we're gonna tackle this like a team. Tonight, me and JB are gonna get a little retribution on the Jonas Brothers tribute twins. And at November Reign, the four of us are gonna team up and we're going to win. And I mean it this time! No more going to Pay Per Views making big boasts and coming out the other end on the recieving end of defeats! Cucaracha Internacional are going to win, you're going to prove yourselves and all will be right again. Because you know what'll happen otherwise. Until then, you're in the bad books. And if you're looking for some more motivation and want to know how that goes, how about you ask Todd Cortez what probation's like? Black and Blonde, the two who can understand what's going on, turn over to where Cortez has again looked up from his sorry spot in the corner. CORTEZ (sarcastically) You guys'd better start winning. MADDIX You see! This guy knows the score! This guy knows what's up! And if you don't watch your steps, he'll be stepping off the bottom of the food chain! End of speech, you are all dismissed. Having worked himself up Landon sits back down and picks up a magazine to try and cool himself down. BLONDE Uhm, Landon? Our match? MADDIX Oh, right right, yeah, let's go then. Quickly Landon picks himself back up with his authorativeness all gone to waste, leaving with Blonde as Black folds his arms and brushes past Faqu. COLE Tension riding high in the Cucaracha camp, can Landon and James Blonde get one over on the new 6-Man Champs, we'll find out when we come back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* COMING UP NEXT LANDON MADDIX AND JAMES BLONDE VS THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS NEXT! LATER TONIGHT THE LOVE SHACK FEATURING PRL TONIGHT! Edited November 15, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Everyone who's booing "Shadows Of The Night" is booing Pat Benetar. And anyone who's booing Pat Benetar is no friend of mine. But also, they are booing Landon Maddix as he makes his way out onto the stage having presumably made a second trip back to the locker room to collect his sleeveless black trenchcoat. Landon does a quick 360 to show himself off, arms outstretched, but clearly isn't in the mood for too much showmanship. Megan follows, but isn't really needed to put Landon over tonight, because James Blonde is on hand to provide the applause and wasted instance for respect from the crowd. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing team number one, CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!! Total combined weight, four hundred sixteen pounds. First, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJJAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEESSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEEE!!! And, his tag team partner. Accompanied by MEGAN SKYE, he is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and the leader of Cucaracha Internacional... LLLAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Landon climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, Blonde dutifully following behind him. Off comes Landon's trenchcoat, much to his surprise courtesy of JB and not Megan which kinda unnerves him when he turns around, even though James just insists he's trying to be helpful. COLE Boy, what a suck-up this guy is. Unfortunately for Blonde, his boss is still in a foul mood and his helpfullness earns him zero brownie points. COACH Well Landon oughta be the difference maker here tonight. He's a former World Champion in two companies, he's way outta the Nerdlys league! COLE Maybe in singles competition. But MARV and MEL are the most finely tuned tag team in the OAOAST, if only because they're twins, they have that telepathic communication going on. COACH What? Get outta her man? You say there ain't no such thing as voodoo whenever Los Conquistadors are out here breakin' people's arms, yet you believe that baloney!? As Blonde continues to fish for approval, "Like The Angel" by Rise Against hits. Led by sister Melody, The Christ Air Express bursting out onto the stage through a cloud of 'heavenly' white smoke. With their newly won titles around their waists the smiling brothers hit a leaping high-five, unleashing two pyrotechnic rockets into the air, one blue and one orange, before they march to the ring BUFFER And their opponents! Being accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! At a total combined weight of three hundred and seventy pounds... they hail from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Ladies and gentlemen, two-thirds of the NEW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... MARV... MEL... THE CHHRRIIISSTT AAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR... EEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody shows off her AWESOME Sesame Street t-shirt to camera as MARV and MEL get the crowd fired up. COLE Earlier today, we caught up with the new 6-Man Champions and their manager Melody! OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. There, Melody, MARV and MEL stand in front of the HeldDOWN backdrop. MELODY One belt, AH-HA-HA! Two belts, AH-HA-HA! Thre... hey, where's the other guy? MARV Jamie? MELODY That his name? Guess that means he's not related to us. In that case you better hook me up with his MSN handle when we're done with this. Anyhoo, once again, a Nerdly's holding an OAOAST title belt! Two of them infact! Prove positive that using OAOAST No Homo as a training method does infact pay off. We mapped the entire thing out down to the last, superb graphic qualitied detail. We're like the next-gen York Foundation, or something! And Landon and all those other type dudes, at times like this, there's only one thing to say... In a not-at-all rehearsed moment, MARV and MEL raise their Six-Man Titles to camera level. MELODY All your belts are belong to us! HELDDOWN~! Back live, MARV and MEL pose on the turnbuckles with their belts, Melody in the middle throwing up the Nerdly RAWK~! hand signals. From across the ring Landon scowls and in the end, sees quite enough and steps out to the apron. COLE MARV and MEL looking delighted with their newly won gold, the OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions along with their 'brah', Jamie O'Hara. And we can only speculate what those three have in common. But anyway, traditional tag team action upcoming and we'll see if MARV and MEL can carry on the momentum they gained from that surprise title win. *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds, Blonde confidently announces that he'll start the match, seeing as Landon is already on the apron expecting him to do so. MARV and MEL eventually pass their belts to ringside and start to try and decide who's going to start. MELODY MARV, I CHOOSE YOU!! Melody throws a plastic Pokeball into the ring. MARV and MEL look at each other, then shrug, before MEL steps out of the ring. COACH And this is the girl that Leon chose over Maggie!? COLE No, actually, that was Molly. COACH Are you sure? I thought that was the one who kicked him in the nuts in the Cage Match. COLE Nope, that was Melissa. COACH You mean the big chick who likes whipping people? I gotcha now. Hey, have you noticed how all their names start with an 'M'? How weird is that? Circling, MARV and Blonde go to lock-up but MARV slips underneath and behind with a waistlock. Blonde drops to his BUTT to break the waistlock, rolling backwards and kicking MARV in the chest. He then jumps to his feet and celebrates, smiling widely as Landon applauds his escape. MARV chuckles to himself as with a newfound confidence, Blonde jogs around the ring and takes a swipe at MEL. As MEL fakes to get in the ring, Blonde dodges back around to the action... and MARV takes him other with an armdrag! A second! And a third! Retreating into a netural corner, Blonde ducks through the ropes and calls for a timeout with all of Landon's approval long gone. COLE Might be best to target one Nerdly at a time there James. COACH You oughta tell Leon Rodez that. Once MARV is backed up, Blonde re-emerges from between the ropes and we lock up again. Blonde grabs a side headlock, quickly getting shot off the ropes, only to come back with a shoulder tackle. JB flashes Landon a thumbs up, before coming off the ropes again. Drop down by MARV, Blonde up and over the top. The Trendsetter then leaps to the middle rope... and performs a moonsault to land on his feet, which is nice and all but doesn't really accomplish anything except show off for Landon. Strangely, Landon is impressed by this and all is well. COLE It's sad to be that needy. Maddix is slightly less impressed once Blonde gets caught napping and is rolled up however... 1... 2... No! Once again Blonde retreats and ducks out of the ropes, smoothing out his hair as MARV is backed up. COLE Well I'm not so sure James Blonde is doing much to make his leader happy right about now. Although, if Landon's looking for Blonde to emulate him he should be pretty satisified with the showing off and obsession with his hair. Out of the corner again, Blonde sees Landon asking for a tag and simply can't get across the ring quickly enough to give him what he wants. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon gets a not-so warm welcome as he enters the ring, while MARV tags out to MEL. COACH Alright, here we go. COLE The boss is in, let's see if he can lead by example. Landon and MEL lock up, with Landon quickly taking his opponent over with a fireman's carry. Cue huge applause from James Blonde, as Maddix lets MEL back up. They lock up again and this time Landon goes behind with a hammerlock. Searching for an escape, MEL eventually backs up towards the ropes and leaps off his feet, looking to take Landon over with a snapmare. He succeeds, only for Landon to hold onto the arm and re-assert the hammerlock. COLE Nice move by Landon, we're not used to seeing him go hold for hold with opponents quite so much as this. Getting to his feet, MEL looks for the escape again... and finds it, into a hammerlock of his own. COLE And maybe that's why. Now it's Landon stuck for an escape and he decides to go for the neutral corner. MEL and Maddix shuffle around looking for position in the corner, with Landon able to back MEL in. Referee Charles Robinson looks for a clean break, but Landon has other ideas and throws a sneaky forearm. However, MEL is ready for it and ducks, waiting for Landon to turn around and aiming a cho... NO! Sensing the chop, Maddix lunges through the ropes and covers up. BLONDE HEY! NO! NO! So outraged is Blonde that his leader almost got chopped, he marches down the apron to complain. And he pays for it, as MARV runs into the ring and sends him flying with a forearm shot! MARV and MEL then grab a hold of Landon and shoot him off the ropes. Landon throws a double clothesline, but MARV and MEL catch the arms and wring them, sandwiching his head with a forearm and a back elbow. The CAE hit opposite ropes. MEL comes back with a dropkick, knocking Landon backwards into MARV, who delivers a facecrusher, RIGHT ONTO MEL'S RAISED KNEE!! COLE And there's that seamless tandem movement we were mentioning earlier from the twins! The crowd and Melody applaud, as MARV leaves and MEL covers... 1... 2... Kickout... ...and a save by Blonde, even though it wasn't needed. COLE Boy this guy is just becoming a pain in the ass. COACH He's a Trendsetter Michael! COLE ...what the hell does that have to do anything!? MEL makes the tag, and he and MARV set up some more double teaming. Shot off the ropes, Landon is taken over with a double hiptoss. The CAE then combine with a Standing Moonsault and Fist Drop, MARV staying on with the pin... 1... 2... No! Front facelock applied by MARV, looking to control the former World Champion who manages to back him into a corner. No clean break again, as Landon then drives a shoulder into the ribs and lands a forearm. Wringing the arm, Landon whips MARV corner to corner... ...but MEL leaps onto the top turnbuckle, providing a buffer for MARV to run into. COACH Come on, they can't do that! Coming out of the corner unharmed, MARV knocks the surprised Landon down with a clothesline! Maddix picks himself up and falls into the corner, where MARV goes to work... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" ...with the crowd pleasing succession of right hands. Landon is dazed and gets set up, MARV looking for the irish whip. Sure enough, Blonde is ready to put his body on the line for his leader and dives onto the opposite turnbuckle ready for him. Unfortunately, MARV fakes him out and pulls Landon back into a drop toehold into the middle turnbuckle, while MEL comes in and lands a dropkick on the stranded Blonde knocking him off the top and to the arena floor! COLE Absolutely nothing is going Cucaracha Internacional's way here! And James Blonde's 'look at me' attitude is doing them no favours from where I'm sitting. With Maddix dazed in the corner, The Christ Air Express line him up. MEL delivers a flying clothesline in the corner, landing on the middle rope. And he pulls himself clear as MARV follows up with a big dropkick, catching Landon up under the jaw! As he staggers from the corner, Landon gets tripped, set up as MARV delivers a headbutt to the midsection and MEL lands a slingshot legdrop from the apron!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Melody is delighted, as MARV makes the cover... 1... 2... NO, KICKOUT! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my, we almost witnessed a HUGE upset, MARV less than half a second away from pinning Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! COACH This ain't good, even I've gotta admit it. Clearly reeling Landon gets to his feet and starts trying to buy himself a timeout! No such luck, as MARV lands a boot and makes the tag to MEL. A double whip sends Landon off the ropes again, where he's dropped with a double elbow. MARV and MEL then hit opposite ropes... ...but MARV gets TRIPPED by James Blonde, then yanked out of the ring with authority! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As MARV hits the ringside mats with a thud and Melody launches into a complaint, MEL looks for a back senton anyway, but Landon gets the knees up to counter! COACH There we go, now the cream rises. COLE Just as MARV and MEL were getting into their stride, James Blonde from the outside and the tide of this match turns. Landon quickly gets the tag to Blonde, who leaps into the ring ready to strike. He stalks MEL waiting for him to get to his feet, before CRACKING him with an Enziguri! Eager cover follows... 1... 2... No! Controlling MEL, Blonde picks him up off the mat. A snapmare puts him back down for a kneedrop and another cover... 1... 2... No! Another tag is made now that Landon is ready and now, it's Cucaracha Internacional with the double team as they send MEL off the ropes. Landon delivers a boot to hold MEL's progress up, then directs traffic to his eager understudy. Quickly, Blonde delivers a Sitout Jawbreaker and MEL lurches backwards, caught by Maddix who drops him with a Neckbreaker across his knee!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH There you go, how's that for some double teaming!? COLE Nice teamwork by the Landon twins. COACH Say what!? Landon pins MEL down, the force suggesting he's frustrated... 1... 2... No! Landon forces MEL back down onto his shoulders and stomps him HARD in the face! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The chants are answered by Maddix climbing the turnbuckles and extending his arms triumphantly, to applause from Megan and plenty more from Blonde. Landon eventually gets back to the action and measures MEL, delivering a hard kick to the chest! COACH You have to admit, the class is beginning to show. COLE There's no denying Landon's one of the top wrestlers in the OAOAST today. And he's taking control, which from his point of view is long overdue, judging by the way he spoke to the rest of Cucaracha Internacional earlier. As MEL climbs back to his feet, Landon unleashes another hard kick to the ribs and down goes MEL again. Off the ropes, Landon then lands across the chest with a double stomp, bottoming out with a back senton and hooking a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Melody starts to get the crowd behind MEL, as Landon tags Blonde back in. The Trendsetter hops to the middle rope and adjusts his sweatbands, kissing the Canadian one before coming off with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! Blonde then dedicates it to Landon before making the cover... 1... 2... No! COLE But Blonde and Maddix just unable to put this match away at the moment. Pulling MEL to his feet, Blonde grabs a hold of the blue and orange tights, hanging him up over the top rope. As MEL falls backwards Blonde then turns to his partner and gives him the double thumbs up before heading to the top rope. COACH All in good time. COLE Well Blonde taking a risk here, looking to impress. Blonde scales the turnbuckles as MEL starts to slowly fight to his feet. He stands doubled over trying to catch his breath as Blonde reaches the top. And The Trendsetter again seeks out Landon for dedications before he comes off the top, aiming with a knee... ...AND GETTING DROPKICKED OUT OF MID-AIR!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The risk does NOT pay! And now, MEL needs to get the tag! A figure of unhappiness, Landon stands with his hands on his hips as the race for the tag begins. Melody mindlessly mashes imaginary buttons as she wills MEL to the corner, while Landon finally offers the tag himself. It's Blonde who reaches the corner first, making the tag to Maddix... but MEL gets the tag to MARV seconds later!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Tags made on either side, MARV and Maddix in! As Landon rushes into the ring, MARV leaps to the top rope and wipes him out with a Flying Clothesline! MARV then starts to unload with a flurry of forearm shots. Landon is backed up against the ropes and MARV shoots him off with an irish whip, catching him with a dropkick on the rebound! Cover... 1... 2... No! Maddix backpedals into a corner looking for a timeout again... but Landon lures him in and cuts him off with a boot. Landon turns MARV into the corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and delivers a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. He then sends him across the ring with an irish whip, loading up the forearm and looking to follow. But MARV surprises him, coming back off the middle turnbuckle with a twisting crossbody... 1... 2... No! Both men back up and MARV goes for a chop... and Landon flinches, so MARV instead pulls him down with a Backslide! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Wow, almost had him again! COACH If Landon lost tonight I don't think he'd ever live it down, not after his speech earlier. A forearm buys Maddix some time to recouperate and he calls Blonde back in. Together they hook MARV up and look for a Double Suplex, only for MEL to re-enter the ring and help MARV to safely land on his feet. The CAE then duck clotheslines, before landing with stereo Superkicks! Blonde is flung out of the ring and MEL follows. Meanwhile, MARV waits for Landon to get back up. Hooking the head, he runs for the turnbuckles looking for the Acid Drop... but Maddix counters, shoving MARV chest-first into the turnbuckles. MARV staggers away from the corner and right back into Landon, who hits a Lungblower!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Got him! COLE That could do it for The CAE. Landon pulls MARV from the ropes and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE No, not yet! After complaining to the referee, Landon waits for MARV to get up. Using the ropes to aid him, MARV gets to his feet, at which point Landon executes a picture-perfect Dropsault, sending him tumbling through the ropes and to the floor. Landon pops right back up and celebrates his feat by posturing for the crowd, while MARV rolls underneath the ring apron in his pained state. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH How can you not love this guy? Great athlete, looks like a star, leader of men. COLE Goofy as a pet coon. COACH You don't even know what that means. Landon now leaves the ring, to the outside where MEL has just ousted James Blonde up and over the barricade with a timely backdrop. And with no sign of MARV, Landon naturally targets the other Nerdly instead. Charging from behind, he clubs MEL in the back which sends him into the barricade. Maddix then stomps away against the barricade. COACH See, look at Landon taking it to MARV. COLE That's not MARV Coach, that's MEL. COACH Wha... hey... HEY, LANDON! HEY! As Landon continues to put the boots to MEL, the referee's count is met at '5' by MARV, who rolls back into the ring nursing his back. Landon seems well aware of the count though and starts to choke MEL against the barrier. As the referee reaches '7', Landon then picks MEL back up. He picks him onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry before aiming him, throwing him up in the air to drop MEL sternum first across the barricade! COLE GTS on the guardrail! Smirking, Landon slowly backs away pointing to his head. As he hears the referee's count hit '8', he then reaches back feeling for the ring ropes as he exchanges word with members of the crowd. COLE Landon thinks he's gonna beat the count, but he's about to be in for a big shock! Grabbing the ropes, Maddix pulls himself back to the apron... ...at which point MARV charges and dropkicks him off the apron, back down to the arena floor!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wait a minute... no, come on! COLE The count is at 8, Landon is down! The count now reaches '9', MARV counting along as Melody encourages the referee... ...TO REACH 10, COUNTING LANDON OUT!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COACH That is BOGUS!! Melody jumps for joy before sliding into the ring, embracing MARV on his victory, count-out or not. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match as a result of a count-out... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXPPRRREEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Picking himself up, Landon's jaw hits the floor again and he stands dumbfounded as he watches the celebration in the ring. MARV and Melody have their hands raised in victory, Melody happy to fill in for the absent MEL. COACH These sneaky Nerdlys, they pulled another fast one! They switched! COLE They didn't switch Coach, Maddix just went after the wrong one, that's all! That's no... HEY, wait a minute! With Landon still frozen, it's down to NATHANIEL BLACK to hit the ring and seek retribution as he lays MARV out from behind! Black stomps away on MARV sending Melody scurrying to the outside, only able to watch on as the Englishman beats the tar out of her brother. That brings Landon back around from his trance and he goes to re-enter the ring... until JAMIE O'HARA comes sprinting to the ring, sliding in and jumping Black!! COLE It's all breaking loose! Jamie O'Hara, out here to try and help out his buddies! COACH He should have stayed away, far far away, because it's just about feeding time! Right on cue we see FAQU marching to the ring, the big Samoan slowly climbing the steps as the brawl continues. When Faqu does get into the ring, he grabs a hold of O'Hara and drops him with a HEADBUTT! Faqu and Black then stomp away on O'Hara and MARV, while Landon and a recovering Blonde target MEL. COACH Cucaracha Internacional may not have won the match, but they're gonna win the war, that's good enough for me. As the beatings continue, Melody starts rubbing her fingers on her temples. And by the magic of telepathic communications, or coincidence depending on your view point, her call for help is answered as BARON WINDELS HITS THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! COLE LOOK OUT! Baron slides into the ring... *CRACK!* ...and NAILS Faqu!! The big Samoan doesn't go down... *CRACK!* ...but Black does from his chairshot! The Englishman rolls out of the ring, noticed by Blonde and Maddix who sense trouble and quickly run for the stage. They're just in time as Faqu is clotheslined up and over the top, the blonde twosome having to hold the Samoan back from getting into the ring, despite the chair weilding Baron being backed up by MARV and O'Hara, plus MEL belated entering the ring. COLE Another bad night at the office for Cucaracha Internacional, losing this match and now with the odds even they want no part of the Six Man Champs and The Lone Star Gunslinger! COACH They lost by count-out. That's not a loss, that's a questionable finish. COLE It's a loss in the record books Coach and they're beginning to stack up. Does this mean Landon is now on probation as well? COACH Very funny. As Landon gets his troops retreating, the Six Man Champs stand tall with Melody handing out a thank-you hug to Baron. COLE Folks, Landon may be back at square one with his gang, but the future of Mister Dick is looking bright than ever! Can he be the first person in OAOAST history to defeat Krista one on one and submit her? We'll find out! IN TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT SUBMISSIONS COUNT ANYWHERE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 (edited) OAOAST SAY WHAAAAAT? In the United Arab Emirates the OAOAST gets higher ratings than midnight reruns of Boy Meets World! Backstage, Malaysia and an itchy Mr. Dick wander in search of the trainer’s room, passing various individuals (none of whom important or they’d be name!) stifling their laughter along the way. COACH Look at those idiots laughing at another person’s misfortunes, Cole. COLE Maybe if your boy wasn’t such a dick they wouldn‘t be. Inside the trainer’s room they find Drs. Max Anderson and Steven Pigley, The Love Doctors. MR. DICK Did you see the video? PIGLEY Yep. MR. DICK So I guess you know why I’m here. ANDERSON To say hello? MR. DICK No, you sarcastic bastard. I need you to subscribe something for my problem. ANDERSON Not with that kind of attitude. MR. DICK Wait a minute. Doctors aren’t supposed to let their personal beliefs get in the way of doing their job. PIGLEY We also don’t go around handing out prescriptions like candy either. I mean, what if a guy wanted somas when a little Tylenol PM would do? MR. DICK (sigh) Are you gonna help me get rid of these creepy crawlers or not? ANDERSON My God, man, you mean you haven’t gotten that taken care of yet? MR. DICK And pay out the urethra?! Do you know how much it costs to see a doctor?! ANDERSON Yeah, we’re doctors. PIGLEY And I also moonlight as a Chicago radio personality. Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio! MR. DICK (cupping ear) Hey, you guys hear that? The Doctors of Doctornomics lean in for a listen… * WHAP * …and get smacked across the face! MR. DICK That’s the sound of my patience wearing off. MD sends the license M.D. Pigley flying across the trainer’s table while Malaysia GORILLA PRESSES Anderson onto the table itself! COLE Hey, come on! That’s uncalled for! COACH No, that’s what they get for jerking Mr. Dick around. COLE No homo? COACH No, there's one backstage actually. Josh Matthews is backstage with the Deadly Alliance. (LOL JOSH U WAS SONNED) JOSH Here with the Deadly Alliance, and these guys are on a roll, promising a fifth member to their group in the very near future, and last week, a big defense for the tag team champions, as they defeated the two men who will be meeting in the main event at November Reign, Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican, thanks to some miscommunication on the part of the challengers. REJECT Forget about that, Josh...talk about how I laid in wait for PRL to get to his feet. Talk about how I sprung into PRL, and laid him out with my Eulogy. And talk about how I, Reject, scored a 1-2-3 count on YOUR World Heavyweight champion just last week. As a matter of fact, I now hold victories over both PRL and Leon Rodez. That should be me in that World title match. JOSH Nontheless, TK in action tonight against Denzel Spencer, a man who gave Sandman9000 a real test at the Halloween Spectacular. TK It may have been a test, Josh, but the Sandman passed with flying colors, and now, Denzel, I'm coming to pick up his extra credit. JOSH Alf, how's the recruitment going? ALF It's going great, Josh. We're getting closer by the day to adding that fifth member, and we feel like we've got strong consideration from the three recruits we talked to last week. So, we've set up a little "audition", you could say, for HeldDOWN~! on Thanksgiving night, between our three recruits. JOSH You mean, like, a match? ALF Like, yeah! A match! A triple threat match, which we have got cleared with President Baker, it'll be Bohemoth vs Ned Blanchard vs "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, on Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! *crowd cheers* ALF And we'll find out who really wants that spot in the Deadly Alliance. JOSH Well, there you have it, a bombshell announcement from Alf, a triple threat match set up of Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! Let's go back to the ring! Edited November 15, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 The OAOAST Presents, Live On Pay Per View... "A reign of tyranny... a reign of terror..." November 30th, 2008; Live from Anaheim, California COLE Folks, we've already heard about PRL and sadly, we have another injury update for you right now. Last week in one on one competition we saw Spencer Reiger taking on one half of D*LUX, Shayne Brave, in what was a fast-paced, competitive match. Unfortunately though, the match would end on a distinctly sour note. And as we take you back to footage from last week, we'd like to advise you that this footage may contain scenes distressing to some of our younger viewers and viewer discretion is therefore advised. Shayne turns and points out Los Conquistadors as their chanting continues, then turns his attentions back to The One Man Triple Threat. Backing in, Shayne applies a 3/4 facelock, looking for the Shaynedrop... but Reiger catches hold of him. Picking Shayne's legs up off the mat, Spencer launches his opponent away across the ring. COLE Nice counter there by Reiger. Coming down hard, Shayne lets out a squeal of pain. And he stays down. COACH Well Reiger had that move scouted, the kid's got brains. Maybe he's more than a triple threat, maybe he's a One Man Fatal Four Way... or something. Spencer goes to follow up on Shayne, but with the boybander lying on the mat and writhing in pain referee Jack Doane backs New York's Finest up while he checks on his condition. Clear concern shows on Tyler's face as he rounds the ring besides Shayne who clutches his arm, kicking his feet. Suddenly the fans begin to quieten, as even Reiger looks on. COLE I think Shayne's hurt here. COACH Well he might have landed awkwardly when Spencer threw him, but... yeah, this don't look good. As another replay of the landing plays, Shayne's arm is highlighted at the point that it hits the mat, bending in an unnatural position under the force of the rest of his body-weight. COLE There you see the landing and as you can see, a very gruesome sight. And the bad news for Shayne Brave is that during the week, doctors confirmed breaks to the wristbone in two seperate places, for which Shayne underwent surgery this past Wednesday in his hometown of Detroit. His recovery time is estimated to be in the region of 4 months and we absolutely wish Shayne all the best and hope to see him back in the ring very soon. Very sad injury news Coach. As Michael turns to his broadcast partner, he's understandably surprised to see him with a big smile on his face. COACH COLE What the hell are you smiling about? COACH Do you believe me yet? COLE What? What are you talking about? Believe what!? COACH That Los Conquistadors are voodoo practitioners. COLE *slaps forehead* Coach, what happened last week had nothing to do with Los Conquistadors. It was a freak accident! As we've been given a stark reminder of not once but twice in the past week, unfortunately the OAOAST Superstars take on the risk of injury every time they step into a wrestling ring and that's why we encourage all of our fans not to try this at home. COACH Or not to mess with anyone who practices voodoo. COLE That's ridiculous. Voodoo is like magic, it's not real. COACH Don't let Los Conquistadors here you say that. Hey, you don't think PRL did something to offend them during the week, do you? It'd explain an awful lot. COLE No it wouldn't. Stop being such a moron. And with that we go to the ring, in which stands a nervous looking young woman in non-descript wrestling attire and an even more non-descript introduction. I.e., no introduction. Instead she stares nervously at the entrance way, as "Wildside" by Motley Crue begins to power through the P.A system! Making her way out through the entrance, a sinister smirk adorns the face of the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns, Malaysia Nerdly. She stalks slowly to the ring as her young counterpart looks on like a deer caught in the headlights. COACH Speaking of serious injuries. COLE Please don't even joke about that. Malaysia slowly climbs the ring steps, stopping halfway up to savour the fear on the woman in the ring's face. She then enters the ring and takes a microphone from the first person scared enough by her stare to run and grab it for her. COLE As we told you last week, Malaysia Nerdly set to take on Jade Rodez-Duncan at November Reign for the Women's Championship, in a 'California Street Fight'. Malaysia has promised us a 'preview' of that here tonight, which doesn't bode well for this young woman in the ring. Still smirking, Malaysia circles around the woman who is frozen to the spot, afraid to move. Malaysia takes a lock of her hair and curls it around her fingers which freaks her out even more before the imposing Malaysia steps in front of her. MALAYSIA What's.. your.. name? WOMAN My... my name is Lizzie... Lizzie Sampson. Malaysia does another circle which the girl finally introduces herself. MALAYSIA Tell me Lizzie... do you like to roleplay? The nervous girl doesn't answer. MALAYSIA I like to roleplay Lizzie... I like it a LOT. So tonight, you're going to roleplay with me Lizzie... tonight, you're not going to be Lizzie... tonight you're going to be Jade... and we're going to have SO much fun together, 'Jade'... I just KNOW IT... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The young brunette hits the mat, courtesy of a shot to the side of the head with the microphone! *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell sounded and the 'preview match' officially under way, Malaysia kneels down and wraps her forearm around Lizzie's throat. Referee Mike Chioda drops down instinctively but can't do anything to stop Malaysia from choking her helpless victim, much to her delight. COACH I'm telling you Michael, Jade's been living on borrowed time for the longest time. But come November Reign we might see the end of her once and for all. COLE Malaysia, as you can see here, can do WHATEVER she wants at November Reign, with no risk of being disqualified! And I dread to think how dangerous this woman is capable of being and how carried away she could get! Malaysia eventually relinquishes her choke and lets Lizzie go. Struggling for air, she crawls to the ropes to try and get out of the ring. Malaysia stops her by treading on her hand though. She then steps on the other hand to pin Lizzie down, before reaching down and pulling on her hair!! Lizzie screams in pain as her hair is pulled out by the roots, transfixing Malaysia once she lets go. Unpicking the hair from around her fingers, Malaysia takes a deep, ecstatic breath. COLE This woman is sick, there's no two ways about it. COACH What can I say, she enjoys her work! COLE Something went wrong in that woman's head somewhere during the course of her life and she is disturbed, depraved and she gets off on other people's pain and suffering. She's a monster, in more ways than one! Helping 'Jade' to her feet, as she keeps calling her, Malaysia winds back and pops the young woman with a forearm to send her lurching back to the canvas. COACH I know this is a 'preview', but if Jade is for some reason dumb enough to be watching this, she oughta turn the TV off, 'case she gets nightmares. Malaysia picks Lizzie up again, striking her across the back with a forearm. The poor girl falls to her knees and Malaysia grabs hold of her from behind, pulling her up and applying a fishhook, encouraging 'Jade' to smile for Mommy! Lizzie looks like she's had just about enough, but Malaysia lets her go before she can submit and shoves her face into the canvas. As she stands over the young woman, Malaysia smiles a much more satisfied smile now. COLE Malaysia has nothing to prove here. This is about fear. Malaysia is trying to strike fear into the Women's Champion. COACH Yeah and it ain't for any added advantage, cause she don't need it. She just wants Jade nice and scared so she can have more fun with her! Stepping out of the ring, Malaysia now climbs back down the steps and slowly makes her way to the ring apron. There, she routes under the ring and re-emerges with a metal trash can lid. Malaysia slides back into the ring, staring at her reflection in the lid for a few seconds. Picking herself up, little Lizzie doesn't realise what's waiting as she turns around... *CLANG!* ...AS MALAYSIA CREAMS HER WITH THE LID TO THE FOREHEAD!!!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh my god. Malaysia carefully sets down the trash can lid, then makes her way over to the corner to retrieve her cat o'nine tails. COLE Come on now, this young woman has done nothing to deserve this. Enough is enough. Just pin her and be done with it. COACH Naw naw, I don't think Malaysia's preview involves pinfalls. Approaching Lizzie with the whip, Malaysia wards off referee Chioda as he tries to make her see some reason. All she sees is a prone unconscious woman and a whip in her hand though. Uncurling the many tails of the whip, Malaysia sizes her opponent up... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...before LASHING HER ACROSS THE BACK!!! That seems to wake Lizzie up... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...just in time for another whipping!!! Lizzie writhes in pain, as Malaysia asks 'Jade' if she's 'having fun yet'. She then uncoils the whip again... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...before lashing her again!!! With the poor woman nearly in tears, Malaysia then sets herself across her back and clasps the whip with both hands, placing it across the throat and applying a sadistic choke with the weapon!! And wisely the young woman quickly taps out to end the match! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds, ending Malaysia's fun, apparantly before she's ready as she refuses to release the choke just yet. Big smile on her face, she makes Lizzie suffer a few seconds more until her face starts to discolour, before finally releasing her. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, MALAYSIA NERDLY! Boos ring out, as Malaysia turns over and admires the markings she's created on the innocent young opponent's back. COLE I don't know if this poor woman knew what she was getting herself into, but one thing is for certain, Jade Rodez-Duncan certainly does now. And she must be wondering just how she can survive as Women's Champion, against this sick individual, at November Reign! COACH Nevermind the Women's Championship, how's she going to survive in one piece? This was just a preview, Michael. Who knows just what Malaysia's got in store for Jade when the real thing rolls around on November 30th? We might have to enforce an over 18s only entrance policy at the door because it could get real crazy, real quick! Starting to come down, Malaysia breathes deeply as she leaves the ring, stroking her cat o'nine tails against her body as she heads to the back. NOVEMBER REIGN ***WOMENS TITLE: CALIFORNIA STREET FIGHT*** MALAYSIA VS JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN NOVEMBER 30th 2008 TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT SUBMISSIONS COUNT ANYWHERE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK TONIGHT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 To the back we go, where Mr. Dick continues his race for a cure. This time he encounters “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Rio de Janerio, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. RICO Hey, mang. Check who it is. The Dick who talked smack about us last week. SOUL Oh, yeah. Skinny black dude and fat Brazilian, wasn’t it? I remember hearing a little something-something ‘bout that. MR. DICK I meant that with all due respect. See, like Mr. Dick, you guys have had your fair share of run-ins with Krista. You know how it is facing that bitch. RICO That chica is like a pitbull, mang. Once she sinks her teeth into you it’s over. MR. DICK And that’s why I’m here, I'm reaching out to ya'll cause you understand my struggle. This isn't just my fight. This is everyones. RICO What a struggle it is, mang. You dont wanna go barkin up that tree. MR.DICK Forget barking, she bites! She took a bite of out of my dick and I need… SOUL Say no more, brother. You’ve come to the right place. Sweetness got yo fix covered. Name it and we got it. Embarrassed by his problem Mr. Dick whispers his need and the Soul Man jumps back aghast. SOUL Whoa, brother, we ain’t got that. Naw, son, naw. And shouldn't you be up in a plastic bubble? Why you walkin around the general public all willy nilly like that? We got futures, cousin! Futures! You gonna destroy us all! I've been in jail, hit by two hurricanes, and shot at by the police, and what you got still scares the life outta me, hustlah. MR. DICK I thought you said… SOUL Not if it’s legal we don’t. But I tell you what, baby. We sympathize with your plight. So here’s the name of a couple of mofos that might be able to help. Now they be a little freaky and shit, but they should be able to provide some relief. MR. DICK I can handle freaky. Soul hands MD a piece of paper and the Human Hard On rushes to his next destination as the MGHWC go back to chilling in the corner. COLE I hope its not the same guy I went to for my teeth whitening. I've been cleaning the semen off for weeks! COACH Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 -The screen fades from black to SOPHIE GREY!~! walking through the halls. She jots down random notes on her clipboard as she walks around a corner, straight into AUSTIN "RAGDOLL" BAKER!~ Sophie lets out a small shriek as Austin smiles slightly. It's been two weeks since his match against Jereme at the Halloween Spectacular, and he STILL hasn't washed off his make-up and changed out of his costume. Sophie's eyes are wide and full of terror as Austin steps towards her, backing her into the wall. RAGDOLL ...Hi. SOPHIE B-b-bonjour, monsieur. RAGDOLL So...Josie has booked Jereme against CMJ once again, has she? SOPHIE Oui RAGDOLL Now...come 'ere. -Ragdoll steps straight towards Sophie, before brandishing a box cutter. Sophie starts to shriek, but Ragdoll grabs her by the cheeks, silencing her. Tears begin welling in Sophie's eyes as Ragdoll raises the box cutter to her face. RAGDOLL There we go...Now...shh-shh-shhhhh...Now. When I was a kid, I had a slight...problem...with imitating movies that I had seen. Let's take for example...I dunno...The King of Comedy...When I was a kid - -Sophie begins to struggle, but Ragdoll holds her in place against the wall. RAGDOLL ...Ok?...When I was a kid, I would imitate The King of Comedy. I would set-up audiences in the basement and perform comedy acts to them. Y'see, I related to certain characters...I wanted to be them, y'understand? But my father...being the...conventional type that he was, didn't understand me. He wouldn't laugh at my jokes...no...he'd laugh at me! He called ME a joke. Do you have any idea what it's like, Sophie? To have someone yo-...hold still...- someone you love think of you as a joke? It's become my biggest fear in life...to have people think of me as a joke. ...Do you think I'm a joke? -Sophie shakes her head slowly. RAGDOLL ...Well...that's a plus. Dontcha think? -Sophie nods slightly. RAGDOLL So...I came out of retirement to wrestle in the OAOAST...and so far, I've only had one match. I'm traveling around the U.S. with nothing to show for it...I have a beautiful wife and a daughter at home...and I have nothing to show for it! It's enough to make someone go INSANE! -Ragdoll begins to giggle slightly as Sophie shakes her head, mumbling things. SOPHIE Just l-let me g-g-go, Austin...Please... RAGDOLL Ahhhh-ha-ha-haaaa, theeeeeeere's the English...I want YOU to tell Josie - in whichever language you prefer...that...I want to be in the Intercontinental Title match at November Reign... -Sophie once again tries to move away, but once again, Ragdoll stops her. RAGDOLL Look at me, Sophie...Look at meeeeee. LOOK. AT. ME! -Sophie stops struggling as Ragdoll gets within an inch of her face. RAGDOLL You tell Josie...I am going to be in that match, wether she wants me to be in it or not. I will be at November Reign...and I WILL walk out...the Intercontinental Champion. -Ragdoll suddenly shoots in, giving Sophie a huge kiss on the lips. Ragdoll suddenly breaks the kiss and walks off, leaving Sophie sobbing and shivering against the wall, just as the screen fades to black. LATER TONIGHT THE LOVE SHACK FEATURING SPECIAL GUEST PRL TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 (edited) Back from commercial, God of Thunder is playing TK out to the ring, as he approaches the ring area. COLE And we're back here on HeldDOWN~!, as Thunderkid, one half of the World tag team champions, set to square off against Denzel Spencer, already in the ring! TK climbs into the ring and poses on the buckles with his belt, drawing boos. He then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* TK and Denzel circle the ring, and tie up. TK grabs a side headlock, then takes Denzel down to the mat. TK cinches in on the headlock, then Denzel rolls him over... 1... 2... TK rolls back over, then tries to pull down more, but Denzel slips free and hooks in a hammerlock! COLE Ooh, nice escape there by Denzel! TK quickly gets to the ropes, then makes his way to his feet after Denzel breaks. The two move in on one another again, and this time TK delivers a kick to the gut, then whips Denzel into the ropes. TK goes for a clothesline, but Denzel ducks, and takes down TK with an armdrag! TK quickly gets to his feet, and gets caught in a drop toe hold! TK gets to his feet again, and Denzel hits him with a dropkick, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE Nice string of offense by Denzel, and TK has to regroup! Denzel cuts TK off as he gets onto the apron, but TK grabs him around the head with both hands and drops to the floor, hanging Denzel up! COACH But a nice move there, let's see if he can follow up! TK picks up Denzel and hammers away with European uppercuts, then brings him out and executes a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK gets to his feet, and drops a knee to the sternum! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks Denzel up, and whips him into the corner, then charges...but Denzel moves out of the way! COLE Nobody home on the corner charge! COACH And TK went right with that right shoulder into the corner! Denzel grabs the arm, and starts delivering blows to the shoulder, then wrings the arm, stepping out to the apron, and dropping to the floor! COLE Nice strategy by Denzel, working over an appendage of the bigger, stronger TK! Denzel hooks the arm behind the back of TK, and scoops him up, slamming him onto it! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel picks up TK, and wrings the arm once again, but gets backed into the ropes by TK, who then whips Denzel into the ropes, and plants his left elbow into his sternum! COLE And a BIG elbow from TK! TK retreats to a corner to rest his arm, before eventually making his way back to Denzel and tossing him to the outside. TK lets Denzel climb to the apron, then delivers a forearm blow to the chest! He then snapmares Denzel back into the ring, drops an elbow, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks up Denzel and attempts to ram him into the buckles, but Denzel blocks, and rams TK instead! Denzel delivers right hands, then sets up an Irish whip, but TK reverses, and attempts a clothesline, but Denzel ducks, and hits a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! TK gets to his feet in time to floor Denzel with a clothesline! COLE And TK looking really sharp in this match! TK dumps Denzel to the outside once again, and this time follows him out, grabbing him around the waist and ramming him back first into the apron, then lifting him in the air for a PRESS SLAM~! COLE No, not on the floor! However, Denzel manages to wiggle free, and delivers some right hands, then grabs TK in a side headlock, but TK shoves him off into the ringpost! COACH But just when you think Denzel catches a break, TK comes right back! TK tosses Denzel back inside, then rolls inside, and scoops him up, executing a FALLAWAY SLAM~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK then whips Denzel into the ropes, and catches him with a powerslam! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK climbs to the top rope, but takes too much time in doing so, and Denzel shakes the ropes, causing TK to rack himself! Denzel then leaps high for a dropkick, knocking TK to the outside! COLE And that may have been the break that Denzel needed! COACH Mistake there by TK, too busy going back and forth with the fans as he climbed the ropes! Denzel catches his breath, then takes a couple steps back, then does a HANDS-FREE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! onto TK! COLE Denzel going for it all, and he got it! Denzel picks up TK and tosses him back inside, then climbs to the top rope, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Denzel delivers a foot to the gut, then hits TK with a SCISSOR KICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel then scoops TK onto his shoulders, and goes into an AIRPLANE SPIN~! COLE And an airplane spin! How about this? Denzel drops TK forwardonto his back, holding onto his legs, then executing a rolling cradle! 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel whips TK into the corner, then goes for the handspring elbow, but TK moves, then runs to the ropes, flooring him with a BICYCLE KICK~! COLE And what a KICK from TK! COACH That's got to be it! 1... 2... NO! Denzel gets the shoulder up! COLE But no, Denzel comes out! TK picks up Denzel, and hooks him for the SCORPION DEATHDROP~!!!!!11111, once again taking time to play to the crowd. Denzel kicks up off the buckles, flipping behind the back of TK, holding onto him, scooping him up, and delivering the CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR~!!!!!11111 COLE And Denzel with the Compactor! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE HE GOT HIM! COACH I don't believe it. BUFFER The winner of the match...DENNNNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE What a huge win for Denzel Spencer, a big upset here on HeldDOWN~!, getting a fall on a member of the Deadly Alliance, Thunderkid! COACH I really just don't know what to say here, Cole...I can't believe it! You got it right, a BIG upset! Denzel celebrates in the aisle, as TK just realizes what happened, and holds his head in his hands in the ring. COLE Denzel Spencer getting on a roll here in the OAOAST, a big win here on HeldDOWN~! Right now, let's take a break and we'll be back with more HD~! in a minute! COMMERCAIL Edited November 15, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 The cameras in the arena hover over the ring, where the finishing touches to the set of The Love Shack are being made by a busy group of OAOAST ring crew. In the ring is Leon Rodez, with "Rock The Casbah" playing out, as he directs the workers. As they set about placing the various crap Leon has on his desk in just the right positions, we throw it over to Sofa Central, manned only by Michael Cole. COLE We're going to throw it over to Leon Rodez and The Love Shack in just a few moments, which gives us enough time to remind you of what went down last week as HeldDOWN~! went off the air. Tremendous tag team action with the OAO World Tag Team Champions Reject and Thunderkid defending against World Champion and Number One Contender, Leon and Tha Puerto Rican. And it was a miscommunication on the November Reign opponents part that lead to their defeat. Smile on his face, Reject retrieves the chair and taunts the crowd about what he's going to do. He tests the chair on the turnbuckle a couple of times, before turning suddenly and charging at Leon... ...who DUCKS the chairshot and delivers a dropkick to the chest! Down goes Reject and up goes the chair, landing near Leon's feet. The Silky Smooth One looks down and with the Milwaukee crowd encouraging him, he slowly picks the chair up and lines up Reject! COLE Oh wait a minute here, Leon has the chair! And it could be payback for The R-Man! VENTURA Oh so when Leon has a weapon it's 'payback' and okay, I get it. COLE After everything Reject and Melissa put Leon and the women of the OAOAST through in the past couple of months? You're damn right it is! Leon seems to be weighing it up in his head as he clutches the chair, Melissa running around ringside to plead with him not to do what he's thinking of doing. But spotting Melissa simply makes his mind up for him. And he weilds the chair, waiting for Reject to get back up. The R-Man has no idea what's waiting for him as he gets to his feet, taking a moment to steady himself before he turns around, Leon winding up... ...NO! THUNDERKID GRABS THE CHAIR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" As Reject hits the mat in self defence, Thunderkid and Leon engage in a tug of war over the chair. They go back and forth trying to gain possession... ...until finally, TK lets go, causing Leon to wheel around... *CRACK!* ...AND SMASH THE CHAIR OVER THE HEAD OF THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!!!!!! COLE OH!! WHERE DID PRL COME FROM!? VENTURA Did he mean that? COLE WHAT DO YOU MEAN DID HE MEAN IT!? VENTURA I mean just that and quit shouting at me, would ya!? Leon looks shocked, instinctively dropping the chair. With his back turned he then gets blindsighted by Thunderkid, who pitches him over the top rope. COLE Now, we tried to get a word with Leon Rodez after HeldDOWN~! went off the air, to clear the air, over what happened. Unfortunately, we decided to send Maggie Nerdly. And... uhm... let's just say things didn't work out so well there. Having just gotten through the curtains, Leon nurses the back of his head as he hobbles into the main part of the backstage area. He stops to catch his breath for a second and work out a kink in his neck, when suddenly he sees a camera heading his way. Not just a camera, but a microphone, held by a certain Miss Maggie Nerdly. Leon quickly straightens himself out and composes himself at this sight. CAMERAMAN Okay Maggie, we're rolling in 3, 2, 1... .....and, there's no question. LEON Okay, look, I know what you're gonna ask me. And I don't know what happened out there. First of all, Reject's coming at me with a chair, next thing I know PRL's in the ri... *SLAP~! MAGGIE Oh, you know what I'm gonna ask you, huh? How about you explain why you slept with my sister, how about that Leon!? Well, you know what, I hope it was worth it, because Molly's welcome to you. Melody too! They all are! As far as I'm concerned, we're THROUGH! FINISHED! DONE! It is OVER! Before Leon has a chance to say a thing, Maggie is already stomping off in the other direction. Leon rubs at his cheek and sighs, before marching off himself. CAMERAMAN Uhm, cut? OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# With the recapping over and the set all in place, we throw it to the ring to Leon Rodez, who wears an apologetic look on his face as he's just finished watching that recap on the AngleTron. LEON Well, gee, thanks for showing that guys. Really appreciate that. Leon awkwardly takes his seat. LEON Whoo boy. Uhm, well Maggie, I guess it'd be cliché for me to say 'we were on a break' now that Friends isn't culturally relevant anymore. And I guess I misunderstood you when you said 'maybe we should see other people'. In my defence, you didn't specify those people shouldn't be other Nerdlys. And let's face it, take them away and the talent pool around here is non-existant. Getting a couple of laughs, Leon sighs. LEON But look, seriously, before we go any further, this seems as good a place as any for me to apologise to Maggie for everything that's happened between us these past few month. We've both been in the wrong and it's been rough for both of us, but I take full blame for what happened with Molly. Consider this an apology and an end to the whole thing. Sorry as I am, it's best for all concerned that we call it a day between us, all things considered. It was great while it lasted. The official split gets a big reaction from the females in the crowd at least. Leon sits quiet for a couple of seconds, before he finds his cheesiest smile and goes back to work. LEON OKAY! On with the show already I hear you cry and your cries have been answered! November Reign is a couple of weeks away, couldn't tell you in an exact number of days, but it's not too many. And as you all know, Sunday night, November 30th, it'll be yours truly challenging Tha Puerto Rican for the World Heavyweight Championship. And wrestling laws and regulations of protocol dictate that we've gotta come face to face at some point and talk about it all a little to try and get you all to part with your precious, precious money to watch us wrestle. So, what better time than right now? Without any further ado, let's bring out my guest in The Love Shack this evening... he is the WORLD Heavyweight Champion... THA... with an 'A', and That's Word... PPUUUUUEEEEEEERRTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAANN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapse before the World Champion makes his way out. Dressed to the nines for this special appearance, Tha Puerto Rican strolls to the ring with the World Title resting on the shoulder of his $500 shirt. COLE Incase you missed it at the top of the show, big news concerning the well-being of Tha Puerto Rican, suffering a torn bicep at an OAOAST live event. Hopefully we'll hear a little more about that tonight, but he doesn't look too concerned around it all right now. Although, you can just about see, that bicep is taped up even out of competition. PRL climbs into the ring, taking a look around The Love Shack set as Leon goes to greet him with a handshake. A slightly awkward one between the two World Championship rivals, but a handshake nonetheless. PRL takes a seat and continues to look around the set, hard to tell if he's impressed or not, as Leon puts himself back behind his desk. LEON Alright, the World Champion everybody! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" LEON Champ, good to have you on the show. Uhm, make yourself comfortable... are you okay on there with the arm? THA PUERTO RICAN I'm fine, don't worry about it. LEON Alright, good to hear. Well, I'll admit, I'm not quite sure where to start here with you PR. You know how these things tend to go. A quip here, an insult there, BOOM, somebody goes through a table or something. And these things cost money, ya know. *knocks on the desk* So I'm gonna tread the thin ice and try and interview you like I would anyone else, because I know you're not exactly in a fighting state of mind right now. PRL raises an eyebrow and lowers his sunglasses. THA PUERTO RICAN How do you figure? LEON Well... I mean, look, we don't want it to break down into a fight anyway. Let's keep it civil. There's no need for any of that, here we are, two of the most charismatic men in the history of the OAOAST... "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" LEON ...it's good times, it's all good in the hood if you will. Now, PR, we'll get to November Reign in a minute, since that's what we're both here for. But, I guess I have to ask, get this out of the way straight away. How's the injury? THA PUERTO RICAN The injury's not an issue. And I'd rather not talk about it. LEON Oh. Okay, that's understandable and I really don't want to press the issue. But, you know, we're both men of the people. And since we're going to be opponents at November Reign and there's a conflict of interest, I decided rather than ask you questions, I'd ask... the PEOPLE'S questions! Sorry, couldn't resist that one. Anyway, the point is, I think the PEOPLE want to know what the extent of the injury is, know that you're okay and ready to go. THA PUERTO RICAN Leon, would you stop with the sympathy crap already!? The crowd is in shock! As is Leon! COLE Whoa. LEON Wait. What? I was just-- THA PUERTO RICAN Save it! You haven't said a single word to me, not so much as a 'Hi' or 'Hello', ever since I got kicked out of The Lightning Crew last year! Up until last week, you didn't so much as acknowledge that I existed! Now all of a sudden, you want to butter me up? Want to kiss my ass? Want to be my friend? All because you 'accidentally' hit me in the head with a steel chair! I'm sorry, but I don't become friends with just anybody! Uh-uh! Not anymore! Homie don't play that! LEON What was with the air quotes when you said 'accidentally'? I already told you, I didn't mean to hit you in the head with a steel chair! It was an accid-- THA PUERTO RICAN Sure. You didn't mean to do it. Because you're Leon Rodez, the happy-go-lucky nice guy who wouldn't hurt a fly! Oh yeah, Mr. Nice Guy. Uh-huh. You weren't trying to get a leg up on our Title Match at November Reign! No sir. No siree Bob! You weren't trying to make sure that I wasn't 100% heading into our big match-up! No way! It's not like you to attack me for momentary gain. Although I do seem to recall you trying to eliminate me from the Lethal Rumble Match earlier this year! You didn't seem to have a problem trying to get Stephen Joseph Popick's blood money didn't ya!? LEON P.R., it was the Lethal Rumble! It's every man for himself! I wasn't trying to win the $1 million bounty! PRL Oh sure. You say that you're a nice guy, but yet you were as greedy as everyone else in that match! So in addition to being a liar, a phony, and a cheap shot artist, you're also greedy! The façade is starting to disappear, Leon! Tha Puerto Rican, like an elephant, NEVER FORGETS! So cut the sympathy bull and be your real self! The crowd is torn. Some are booing, some are cheering. Tha Puerto Rican glares angrily at Leon. Rodez, usually very calm and relax, is a little bit miffed at PRL's comments towards him. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is very VERY annoyed with Leon Rodez right about now! LEON Okay. We lost last week. We could have become OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Champions, but we didn't because of a mistake. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it before you believe me, but trust me, it was an accident. I didn't mean to do that. But that's in the past. No sense arguing about things which we can't undo. But we can now look to the future. In 3 weeks, I will be challenging you for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship. It's gonna be my first OAOAST World Title Match in... well, gee, I don't know how long. You'd think with how rarely I've been getting them I'd remember such things. But it's been awhile, that's for sure. And I am very much looking forward to it, as I'm sure you are too. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh, Tha Puerto Rican is looking forward to this match! VERY much looking forward to this match! And I'm not going to let something as insignificant as a torn bicep stop me from going to Anaheim on November 30th! Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that he WILL defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against you, Leon Rodez, at November Reign 2008! And that's the truth, Ruth! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN And Tha Puerto Rican is looking forward to this match, one-on-one, you and me, for several reasons. One: I'm looking forward to entertaining the millions... "...AND MILLIONS!" THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) ...AAAAAND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican's fans once again! Two: Tha Puerto Rican is looking forward to finishing out his Thanksgiving weekend with yet ANOTHER successful World Heavyweight Title defense! And three: for a very personal reason: You see, this will be the first time that Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez will have met in the ring since AngleMania V, and that was on April 2, 2006. Over two years ago! Do you remember that match, Leon? Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center? Atlantic City, New Jersey? The greatest Ladder Match of all-time? The OAOAST 24/7 Championship was on the line. I had been the OAOAST 24/7 Champion for 360 days, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! You remember? You remember how we tore the roof off of the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center for 30 minutes straight? How we both bled, how we both sweated, how we both endured tremendous pain? How you were able to climb up the ladder with one good leg and obtain the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt and end my reign almost a year after it started? You remember that, right? Leon nods his head, while the crowd cheers, remembering that classic Ladder Match. THA PUERTO RICAN Well, do you also remember how you needed help to win? Do you remember that it took not one, not two, not three, but FOUR guys to hold me back while you climbed the ladder!? Do you remember that Otaku II, Brickston, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat all had to hold me so that I wouldn't get out of the ropes before you grabbed the 24/7 Championship belt!? Do you remember THAT part of the match, Leon!? Or have you conveniently blocked that part out? LEON Hey, I'm not going to deny that. I know how I won the match! THA PUERTO RICAN Yes. Yes. But Leon, think about this: one of those guys has been fired from the OAOAST. Two of those guys hate you as much as they hate me. And one of those guys is my BEST FRIEND now! So, tell me, Leon, who is going to help you win this time? The In-Crowd? HA! Bohemoth couldn't beat me last month! I've gotten the better of Zack in the past! And your buddy Sly is M.I.A. too! So, Leon, you won't have ANYBODY there that will hold me back this time! As a matter of fact, you have yet to actually PIN me or make me SUBMIT, and it's not like that's going to change at November Reign! So, deal with it, pink boy! The crowd is shocked by PRL's attitude. THA PUERTO RICAN So, Tha Puerto Rican says that he is looking forward to this match, so that he can beat you fair and square, WITHOUT any outside interference, and prove to the world, once and for all, just who the SUPERIOR athlete is! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! LEON Boy, you sure are cranky today! THA PUERTO RICAN Oh, I'm very cranky, Leon. Very much so. You see, I have been the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion for 8 months now. And it has been the greatest 8 months of my entire life! And the thought that my World Heavyweight Title reign could come to an end at the hands of Leon freakin' Rodez is quite laughable. And in fact, it's downright INSULTING! For the past two weeks, all you've been hearing is about change. Change this, change that. Change is gonna come. Things are going to change! You go to the outside world, and change seems to be the word of the day. The word that is on everybody's mind. Well, change might be good for the rest of the United States of America. But here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread? Eh...I don't think so! I am allergic to change! I like things to stay the same! I think things have been going along pretty damn good for the past 8 months! I wouldn't have it any other way! I like the PRL Era, and I intend for it to continue PAST November Reign and into 2009, hell 2010, 2011, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2040! I want it to continue until I am 56 and I can retire with the belt and then hold a special retirement ceremony like my name is Ric Flair, and everybody in the arena will chant, 'THANK YOU P.R.! THANK YOU P.R.! THANK YOU P.R.! THANK YOU P.R.!' Leon can only raise an eyebrow after all of that. LEON Ooookay. THA PUERTO RICAN The fact of the matter is this: Leon Rodez, for all of your talent...you are just not in my league. "ooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!" THA PUERTO RICAN The fact that you've gotten this far is ridiculous. And I feel only a little bit of sadness for having to crush your dream. For I know all too well what it's like to have my dream crushed again and again and again. LEON And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again-- THA PUERTO RICAN ENOUGH! All right, Leon Rodez. You donkey raping shit eater! This is real talk! Starting right here, right now! You wanna know exactly WHY you have rarely gotten a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, while I got shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot until I finally won the belt? It's because I WORKED MY ASS OFF! I never took my eyes off of the prize! I gave it my all night in and night out everyday for 10 FUCKING years of my LIFE! And the OAOAST Board of Directors saw this. They recognized this. They saw my drive, my focus, my determination. And they rewarded me for it. Ever since I came here, my goal has been one thing: to become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. And while I might have gotten sidetracked along the way several times, my main goal, my reason to travel, to work out, to sleep in hotels, to endure pain, was so that I can one day raise *this*! Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. THA PUERTO RICAN The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is my heart, my mind, my body, my soul. It is my motivation. My wife. My son. My daughter. My pet. It is MY LIFE! And I cannot live without it! And it is EXACTLY this way of thinking that I have, that all of the great World Champions of the past have had, that has gotten me to where I am today. What, pray tell, Leon, is your motivation? Huh? Leon, what is your main goal? To get more laughs than Chicks Over Dicks on any given week? Which by the way, you are only successful at HALF of the time! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Leon raises an eyebrow and goes to rebutt, but PRL isn't in the mood to hear it. THA PUERTO RICAN Is your only goal in life to be a standup comedian who also happens to wrestle? That's your problem, Leon. You're not FOCUSED! You aren't thinking about becoming World Heavyweight Champion! All you care about is making these people laugh! And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing. Hey, I like to make the people laugh too! But there is a time and a place for everything. You can't be Mr. Comedian 24/7! It just doesn't work! People don't take you seriously if you're a comic EVERY single minute of EVERY single day! Think about it. What have you done your entire career since you came to the OAOAST? Let's see: you've feuded with a right wing Christian fundamentalist who somehow became a stockbroker from Wall Street. You've dated a glue sniffing Spanish Barbie Doll and feuded with her bull dyke girlfriend. You've competed in really weird and sometimes funny matches, whoopie. You've teamed up with your sister who is really your niece and her boyband tag team, who by the way, I HAVE BEATEN in the past, thank you very much! You've managed to sleep your way through 3/8s of the entire Nerdly family! And you've joined up with Zack Malibu, Bohemoth and Sly Sommers to reform a group whose peak was SIX YEARS AGO! THAT'S IT! That's all you've done your entire OAOAST career! THAT'S all there is to it! THAT'S your life in a nutshell over the past FIVE years! It's the Leon Rodez Traveling Circus, and you're the ringmaster! Now tell me, Leon, does ANY of that scream to you 'This Guy Is A Future World Heavyweight Champion'!? ANY of that at all? It doesn't, right? And it SHOULDN'T! And the OAOAST Board of Directors knows this and THAT'S WHY you have rarely gotten a World Heavyweight Championship shot! Because you haven't done anything to DESERVE IT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" At this point, some fans are starting to turn on Tha Puerto Rican. While other fans are silent, unsure of how to react to PRL now. Leon Rodez just sits in his seat, letting this all soak in. PRL calms down. COLE Wow. PRL takes a deep breath, and continues speaking. THA PUERTO RICAN But hey, hey, hey. Don't worry, man! Keep that chin up, bucko! You've got your place in the OAOAST! Don't fret! You are Mr. Comedian! You're the guy who tells a joke or does something funny, the people laugh, they have a good time, blah, blah, blah, and then they get ready for the main attraction, which over the past 8 months has been me! You ARE funny! I never said that you weren't. You're just...well...hmmm...how should I put this? You're just...not World Heavyweight Champion material! Leon perks up at this. THA PUERTO RICAN Now, now, now. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But people have their place in life. Yours is to be the 'Funny Guy'. You crack people up, make them smile, make them forget about their little foibles for a little while. And then they move on. And they cheer me. And I entertain them by laying the smackdown on some jabroni's candy ass! And then we do the same thing all over again the next night! Lather, rinse, repeat. I mean, Leon, come on! Even in your little group this holds true! In The In Crowd, think about it: Zack Malibu is the intelligent, brave, handsome leader. Bohemoth is the cool, suave, sophisticated, charismatic, muscular enforcer who wears suits. PIMP suits at that! Sly Sommers is the serious, calculated, cerebral assassin technical wrestler. And you? Well…you're just the 'Funny One'. The comedian of the group. You're the court jester. You're the Flavor Flav of The In Crowd. And that's all you are. And that's all you should ever aspire to be, Mr. Comedian! Leon isn't exactly pleased with PRL's comments. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey, there's nothing wrong with being funny. We all like to laugh! It's healthy to laugh! They say 'Laughter is the best medicine!' after all! But Will Ferrell comedies DON'T win Best Picture Awards at the Academy Awards. "Weird" Al Yankovich songs DON'T win Record Of The Year Awards at the Grammy Awards. And Leon Rodez DOESN'T win World Heavyweight Championships! And that's just the way it is! "YEEEAAHHH!"/"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THA PUERTO RICAN So, be grateful that you're funny. Even if you are a joke yourself. Keep on trying to reach to the top. You won't make it, but the journey will be fun to watch. I am living out my dream. And it is NOT going to end at YOUR hands! Your dream will continue just being a dream. That's it. It will never come true. Because you're just not cut out for it! You're not World Championship material! You're a joke! You're a funny guy, Mr. Comedian. But still, you're a joke! You will never win 'The Big One'! And the sooner you accept it, the better you will be in the long run, okay? Okay. So, just be content on being the 'Funny Guy' or Mr. Comedian. Because that's as high as you will ever go. Got that? That's all Leon Rodez will ever be known for or known as! Is it sinking in yet? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? You will never win 'The Big One'! Are we clear on this? In conclusion, Leon Rodez, to quote a famous professional wrestler: KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! The crowd is stunned by what Tha Puerto Rican has just said. Leon sits in place, sighing. COLE Tha Puerto Rican just vented on Leon Rodez! Leon runs his hands through his hair. "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" Leon looks at the crowd. PRL ignores the chants. Leon looks down at the mat, and then looks up at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt back over his right shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN So what jokes are you going to make this time? Come on, Mr. Comedian! What cracks will you make about me? What witty retort will you make? Because that's all you ever do in these situations! You don't get angry. You never do! You just make jokes! So, what'cha got for me this time? Let me have it! I dare ya! Do your worst, Leon! BRING IT ON! Show me what'cha can! Leon stares at the smirking PRL, and then brings the microphone to his lips. LEON You know what PR... I honestly, honestly, didn't want it to be like this. I was looking forward to a fair, friendly match, between two guys these people could get behind. But I guess you've got other ideas. THA PUERTO RICAN These are MY PEOPLE! MINE! A surprisingly mixed reaction goes up, as PRL beats his chest. LEON You know, I thought this might be a bad idea. But let me tell you something PR. You call me 'Mr. Comedian' and make out like I'm a joke, that's fine. I've been called far worse and been accused of much worse on top. But if you keep prodding and probing, you're gonna find out that I am far from a joke. If you keep tugging on the tiger's tail, eventually it'll bite back. And then the joke will be squarely on you, when you're forced to eat your words and watch me take that OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship away from you! Because, yeah, I like to have fun and I like to entertain. I do this Love Shack thing and crack wise with people, entertain the crowds, have a laugh and a joke with them. But don't kid yourself, because I've worked damn hard to be where I am as well! My main focus might not have been the World Heavyweight Championship nearly as much as it should have in my career and maybe that's my fault. That's the past. The thing you need to remember is, my focus is on the World Title here and now. An... THA PUERTO RICAN Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!! Gimme a BREAK, Leon! You know what, I am sorry I even goaded you into this, because you've just proved to the entire world why comedy is your strong suit! Stick to the jokes already! I mean, come on, you're fooling NOBODY, Leon. You talk about 'tugging the tiger's tail', and I'm sure you've had that done to you a whole bunch of times, but incase you hadn't noticed, my first name doesn't begin with an 'M', so you're out of luck there! And let's face it, as far as you and the Nerdlys go, you've got about as good of a success rate with them as you do with challenging for the World Title. Maggie cared so much about you, she ran to ME for help when she won the Women's Title! Remember that!? "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE This is getting really personal! It was only a matter of time with these two! THA PUERTO RICAN Leon, you're not fooling me. You're not fooling these people. You're all talk! What were you gonna say next, huh? "You won't like me when I'm angry!" Any more cliches to throw at me!? LEON (chuckles) And to think, people said you've changed. THA PUERTO RICAN I HAVE changed! I'm the World Heavyweight CHAMPION! LEON Yeah, but you're still the same overbearing asshole I beat at AngleMania V. Some of the crowd even cheer that remark, which leads PRL to drop his title belt and start rolling up his sleeves! When he gets to the left one he has some difficulty with the tape around his left bicep, which gives a sea of referees and officials a little more time to start hitting the ring... ...and just in time, as PRL SLAPS Leon across the face!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON! COME ON HOTSHOT, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT!? Leon, having been slapped one too many times already recently for his liking, does something about it alright. He drops his microphone, agonising over his decision for a second, BEFORE JUMPING THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE IT'S BREAKING DOWN!! ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE IN THE LOVE SHACK!!!!! The referee and officials are right on hand and hit the ring quickly to pull PRL and Leon apart before they can land more than a few glancing blows on each other. Leon is pulled away and he quickly holds up his hands, showing that he's cool and isn't about to jump back into the fight again. PRL on the other hand is having to be restrained, even with his bad arm, which one official accidently grabs causing PRL to flinch and take a swing at him! "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" COLE It's November Reign come early and these people don't want it to end, but I don't think they're going to get their wish! Leon stands back with his hands on his hips, looking disappointed with himself at what happened. Meanwhile the referees and officials are able to get PRL out of the ring, The World Champion still fuming as the path to the ring is blocked. Snatching his World Title belt from one of the referees, PRL points the finger at Leon and tells him he's got his coming, before being marched off to the back. COLE I have no idea what has gotten into the World Heavyweight Champion tonight. We are seeing shades of the 'old' PRL, shades that I hoped that man had gotten rid of forever! Leon Rodez, provoked by the World Champion on his own show and all hell broke loose from there. A replay of the fuse-igniting SLAP play as order is restored live in the arena. COLE I... I really don't know what to make of that. All Leon did was ask PRL about his injury and the World Champion flew off the handle, just laying into Leon in true PRL fashion. And you have to question what state Tha Puerto Rican is really in after what we've just seen tonight. Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like maybe, just maybe, from the actions of the injured World Champion, he's starting to feel a little threatened. Those aren't the actions of Tha Puerto Rican of 2008 ladies and gentlemen. Those were the actions of the old PRL, actions we've seen in the past when he felt the odds were closing in on him. Back to live action and with PRL having been escorted backstage, a calmer Leon Rodez leaves, still minded by two officials just incase. Leon seems to look disappointed as much as anything still. COLE And this wasn't what Leon was hoping for out of PRL in the run-up to November Reign, I'm sure. Or of himself for taking the bait. Folks, we'll be right back on HeldDOWN~!, stay tuned! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 (edited) We return from commerical with the sound of Theodore Moneymaker's music drowning out the negative reaction he's garnered from the crowd, as the leader of The Enterprise and Alison stand in the ring. MONEYMAKER It seems that every week I'm out here lately, holding a mic, having to tell you people the same damn things. Every week I come out here to remind you what fools you are. Tonight, however, I won't do that. I will not tell you how ridiculous it is that you cheer a man well past his peak. Not only that, but you cheer a man that you shouldn't. A man that claims to be the savior of not only this company, but of each and every one of you! A man with a rather high opinion of himself, don't you think? Well, that's about to change, because tonight people, I humbly ask Zack Malibu to come out here and stand face to face with me in this ring. Tonight, I will bring Zack Malibu back to reality, and make Zack Malibu himself realize that he is NOT the saving grace he presents himself as! The fans continue to boo, and Alison, unimpressed, gets the mic. ALISON Boo all you want, but like you've been told before, the only reason you boo is because you people can't handle the truth. Just look at what happened last week. Zack Malibu, the proud family man, getting in MY face? A woman? It seems to be a pattern that Zack either hits or hits on every woman in this company, and it obviously it all went to hell for him when I left and he knocked up that tartlet Candie! Why do you think he went after Crystal and Josie years ago? Because they represented a challenge? God no! He went after them to get out his aggressions, his frustrations. Zack Malibu is a menace to women because he knows that the one he has at home ruined his life, and that bastard child didn't steal his heart, just a percentage of his earnings! I mean, who can purchase shirts that run in triple digits when you've got to stock up on Pampers and formula? Zack Malibu ruined his own life, and he takes it out on everyone else. He is not a good guy, people,. We've tried to tell you. We've been polite, we've been diplomatic. Now tonight, if you won't believe us, we want you to hear it straight from the man himself. So Zack, come on out. No setups, no traps. Just you, me, and Theodore here, clearing the air once and for all so that everyone can get on with their lives! After a few moments of hesitation, the fans start chanting for Malibu. The "ZACK" chant grows louder and louder, until finally, Papa Roach hits, and "Getting Away With Murder" leads the former World Champion down the aisle! COLE Here he comes, and he's not looking too happy! Malibu, in jeans with an In Crowd T-shirt worn under a sharp looking blazer, heads to the ring and wastes no time in getting into it. Moneymaker hands over a microphone, which Zack snatches, looking like he's ready to kill. MALIBU Polite and diplomatic? Your smear campaigns and your sneak attacks are one thing, Moneymaker. You can say to me and do to me anything you want. You can keep trying to brainwash these people, but you know it won't take. So here we are, the same old song and dance, with the two of you going to the last resort. Going after Candie and my daughter didn't work out too well for the last guy who tried it, so how the hell do you think it's going to benefit you? MONEYMAKER Relax, Zackary. You and I certainly have our differences, but Bruce Blank I am not. Your family is safe from harm...from us, anyways. From you though, that's a different story. It seems Zack that the revelations in recent months have humbled you, yet you put up a brave front every time you're called out on your bull. Tell me, Zack...when WAS the last time you won a match, anyways? Better yet...why did you really reform The In Crowd, hmm? Let me tell you what I think, Zack. I think the loss of Anglesault has hurt you greatly. Without someone in power to give you clout, you're not getting your way as much. The fact that you've been exposed as a fraud constantly has reduced your confidence. You can't win a match to save your life. You've been beaten down by almost everyone on the active roster at one point or another. You come out here and do these interviews acting like you're not bothered by all of this but the fact is Zack...I BROKE YOU. You mean NOTHING anymore. You reformed The In Crowd to surround yourself with yes men to make yourself feel better about yourself. Not to be the avenging angels of the OAOAST. Not to counteract any perceived wrongdoings. You did it for YOURSELF. Everything Zack Malibu does is for HIMSELF. Zack Malibu was a company man simply because he felt it was HIS COMPANY. With Anglesault in charge, you had free reign, Zack. Now that he's not, you can't play puppet master, and it's affected you. Zack Mailbu, the former World Champion, the superstar, the man who fought against Hollywood and the SWF and Civil Wars and Wildcards just can't catch a break because everything has finally caught up with him! Karma at it's finest, Zackary! You are at the end of your rope in this business, and honestly it seems to be that you're kept on simply because you still have a shred of name value. Lord knows enough of these people are still chanting your name, but I have no idea why. You're not a success anymore. You're not, nor have you ever been, a role model. You are weak, you are broken, and you just don't have the it factor you once had. The In Crowd wasn't a good idea, nor was it "cool" to be "retro". It was a last ditch effort to boost your self confidence, but with Sly Sommers down with injury and the other two preoccupied with their own lives, it's safe to say that Zack Malibu rides alone. Hell, last week you needed to be helped by a GIRL because you were defenseless. MALIBU I wasn't about to lay a hand on Alison. MONEYMAKER Here we go again with the setting an example speeches. You wouldn't lay a hand on her, but yet you ran through every woman on the roster a couple years ago. You had Crystal in a damn CAGE, bleeding like a stuck pig, but you were afraid to stand up to a few choice words last week? The fact that you're still around is a business decision, nothing more, because in all honesty you're going to wind up a liability sooner than later. When these kids cheering you grow up to be wifebeaters or deadbeat dads, their parents will have Zack Malibu to thank. When the people chanting your name watch you crash and burn and throw out their In Crowd t-shirts, when your action figures remain on the shelves because no one wants them, when our pay per views drop in buyrates because you can't handle being a main attraction anymore, you are going to be stuck on your ass with a kid and a tramp to care for, with no more money coming in. No one's going to want you. These people aren't going to want you. This company isn't going to want you. YOUR OWN FAMILY ISN'T GOING TO WANT YOU, because let's face it, Zack, the game is up. The secret's out. You are a fraud, and now...NOW, you want to captain a team to go against me at November Reign? For what reason...to bring Anglesault back!? ANOTHER security blanket from Mr. Ego himself? Bring back the one guy that might suck your ass for God knows what reason, given that he LOATHED you for so long? I am all too willing to sign on the dotted line for that Zack, but I must ask you...step it up, will you. Don't make it TOO easy for me. Bring your A game. Bring whatever false friends you have that week to stand on the apron and take your tags, because that's all they're going to be good for to you. See who you can rally behind you, because no one wants to associate with a loser, Zack...and that's EXACTLY what you are. Malibu looks humbled by Moneymaker's words, looking down at the canvas, then back up, peering into the eyes of his rival. MONEYMAKER Nothing to say for yourself, Zack? Or are you going to hit me and take the cowards way out, defending yourself with a cheap shot rather than reason? MALIBU I'm not going to hit you. Fortunately for yourself, I'm not going to hit you. I will tell you this though...I'll agree one some points. I'll agree that this business, this company has evolved. I will NOT agree that its passed me by. I have fought with heart and determination for my entire six years here. I came from NOTHING, and made myself into someone that people could be proud of. I didn't walk out here and demand respect like you do...I EARNED IT. I didn't walk into this company throwing clout and cash around...I earned everything I've ever gotten. You want to point fingers and say that I've made some deals behind closed doors, acting like some type of saint as if that behavior is above you? Let me tell you, Teddy...the reason you hate me is because I'm everything that you are, only better. I'm just as talented, just as powerful, with one major difference...I EARNED my spot. I didn't buy into anything, and I'm certainly not buying into your crap. You think because I've been defeated in matches, or jumped by some of your goons that it's going to destroy my confidence? I have been beaten by some of the best wrestlers in the world, and beaten down by some of the worst people in the world, and I have risen up off the ground to fight another day. You desperately want to take credit for running me out of here. You got rid of Anglesault, and now I'm the last piece left. You think that if you can get rid of me, you can rip the heart out of the OAOAST. You're not looking to better this company, Teddy. You're looking to DESTROY IT. You want it all for yourself. The spotlight, the titles, the power...you crave it. You feed off of it, and it's killing you that I won't bow to your whims. I have come out here for weeks now, but YOU are the one avoiding confrontation. Until now. November Reign is coming up quick, and the only reason you've even agreed to this is because you have people that will let you stand on the apron. You're going to have four other people doing your dirty work, while you stand there and avoid me at all costs. Mark my words, Theodore, you and I are going to be in this ring VERY soon. Not for another face off, or another verbal spat. You and I are going to actually, physically battle it out, because words can only stretch so far. You want me to prove my worth? Step it up a notch? Let's see you prove that you've got a backbone behind that bankroll. Let's see you get in this ring and prove that you've got the talent to back up the talk. MONEYMAKER Be careful what you wish for... MALIBU ...why, because I might get it? GOOD. Nothing would please me more than to crack your jaw with a School's Out and shut you up once and for all. Being able to get Anglesault back is a bonus. You can brag about having all the money in the world, but I'd kick your ass for free. Moneymaker scowls, and drops his mic. He loosens his tie and steps up to Malibu, who doesn't flinch. The two go nose to nose, with the crowd at a fever pitch. Both men have clenched fists, neither man backing down...and then Moneymaker smiles and turns around, exiting the ring with Alison. COLE What a coward. COACH Coward? He's brilliant! He's getting under Zack's skin and he knows it! The crowd boos viciously, as Moneymaker and Alison back up the aisle, again proud of the fact that they're pushing Zack to the brink. Malibu just stares coldly at them, letting it all sink in as he prepares to exact some revenge at November Reign. Edited November 15, 2008 by Zack Malibu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 We rejoin the adventures of Mr. Dick already in progress, as he and Malaysia arrive at the dressing room of the men “Sweet” Lucius Soul recommended. The door swings open and a cloud of smoke is released. COACH Sweet Lu wasn’t lying, Cole. This is some freaky business. As the smoke disperses two figures begin to appear in the shadows. LOS CONQUISTADORS! Dancing to tribal music they circle Mr. Dick counter clock wise shaking an officially license OAOAST figure of Krista at his crotch. COLE What in the world? Mr. Dick’s suffering from pubic lice not a hex. A ball of fire shoots out of nowhere and the music stops. MR. DICK (laughs) I think you guys burned the little bastards! MD checks his short shorts and freaks. MR. DICK You idiots! You shrunk my dick! CONQUISTADORS MALAYSIA Suddenly the door opens and in walks OAOAST agent/interviewer Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Mr. Dick, you’re on in 5. MR. DICK But I’m dealing with a medical emergency! TAYLOR No, I’m afraid that’s just an inconvenience. Let’s move it. MD and Malaysia scurry off. The Human Hard On still itchy. TAYLOR (to Conquistadors) By the way, fellas, we fixed that thermostat problem. You won’t be freezing in here anymore. COACH Oh, thank goodness. Mr. Dick was only affected by the cold. But he’s still gonna have to fight Krista partially handicap! COLE And that match is next! COMING UP NEXT SUBMISSIONS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK NEXT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 (edited) COLE Folks, its about time for our submissions count anywhere match, pitting Mister Dick against Krista Isadora Duncan! Joining us on commentary is Abdulah Abir Nerdly, because….why are you hear anyway, you manage The Rockers not Mister Dick. ABDULLAH Correction, my brother, I guide The Rockers through life’s trials and tribulations. And my student, Mister Moneymaker, The Messiah, has requested I give guidance and share my light and my goodness with those destined for the hell. I'm only present to do that and nothing more. COACH Praise to you, my holiness. COLE Are you kidding? You’re coming out here in a support of sexual predator in assless chaps, that just seven months ago you branded as the devil. COACH Hey, Keith Olberman, take your homotions back to MSNBC, you soundin like a b-i-itch right now. Let the man give us his light! I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! That interesting take on Real American cuts into the more normalized dance styling’s of Womanizer. Like a golden shower from Jesus Christ himself a majestic pyro fall rains down in front the entry way. Next to the sizzling sparkles, red, white and blue pyro geysers erupt in another brilliant burst of color. To a loud, almost deafening chorus of boos emerges The Real American Prick Mister Dick. Though minus his hard hitting lover, he’s no less confident showcasing a splendid body in a skimpy black bikini brief and white cowboy boots. His wonderful muscles glisten and flex beneath white and yellow lights that flare and spin on his entrance ramp as his pyro display continues to sizzle. BUFFER The following contest is a submission’s count anywhere match, where the only way to defeat your opponent is through submission! Introducing first, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, and is a former OAOAST One and Only world tag team champion! He stands six foot four and weighs two hundred thirty eight pounds, he is The Human Hard On....MISTER DICK! He struts down the entrance ramp, accompanied by the taunting and jeers of the audience. Yet, he doesn’t even bother to bark a solitary “shut up” at the fans, only grumbling about his horrible case of crabs and the women who embarrassed him. ABULLAH My friends, Mister Dick was once blind, but in my House Worship his eyes were opened to the good, and now he pledges service to the betterment of all man. He dives into the ring, where he humps his rock hard bone daddy while glaring like a predator at Michael Cole. Once done with alarming the announcer he find his way to the top rope and points out to the audience as if to say this entire company now belongs to him. COLE In singles matches Krista has beaten Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Theodore Moneymaker, Tony Brannigan, Bohemoth, Christian Wright, ThunderKid, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, and many more, and yet I don’t think there’s ever been quite as big a threat to her undefeated record as she faces tonight. Kylie Minogue's In My Arms replaces womanizer and the audience is on their feet with cheers. The entrance stage is made over as a wonderful dance, resplendent in sparkling glitter and flicking rainbow pattenerned lights. Above this awesome visual display is the even more awesome visual display of an army of female dancers, scantily dressed in sexy pirate costumes. They dance and swashbuckle with faux swords before swirling orange, blue and pink spotlights, before their attention and everyone elses’ is captured by Krista Isadora Duncan, dressed to kill in whit high heels, a ruffled black skirt, white polo shirt that’s cut off to reveal her stomach, and white emerald encrusted ribbions in her. Krista gives a little twirl to show off her ultra fashionable outfit before fluffing her hair and strolling off the ramp. BUFFER And the opponent she is a New York Times best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into the Hollywood Walk of Fame, tar of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos in addition to being the star of the VH1 reality show The Look of Love and the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, here she is the OAOAST's Miss Money In The Bank… "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KRISTA ISADORAAAAAA There’s a gigantic cheer from the capacity crowd that Krista meets with a simple smile and wave worthy of the red carpet. The stage itself is carpet in shimmering red and pink and glitter and is encased by photojournalist all snapping a picture of the walk of famer. At the end of the stage she stops, throws her hands on her slender hips, and flicks her head back to show of an arresting smirk and a playful flip of her vibrant hair. ABDULLAH The script I’ve been handed requires me to mention that Krista has released a new fitness DVD titled “The Body Sculpting Dance Mix” ten minute workout to shape your body. But I feel this woman needs to shape her mind! She has assaulted this fine man’s dignity, assassinated his pride, and trampled on his emotions. Brothers and sisters, Allah is love, but this female, is evil! Witness how she through me through a wooden shack and left me to nearly drown! COLE You called her youngest daughter Tarzan and compared her to Satan! And, folks, do not forget her eldest daughter will be in a California street fight match with Malaysia Nerdy at November Reign! Abdullah will be hard pressed to gain any sympathy from the audience who are reduced to drooling fiends by Krista’s upside leg hanging trick. Adding to their puddle of aroused drool, she pulls herself up onto the second and quick her legs open for a panty shot before swinging into the ring. COLE Here we go. Mister Dick against Krista Isadora Duncan. DING DING DING! Full of fury and anger, Mister Dick charges across the ring in an effort to spear Krista. However, Miss California leap frogs his approach, causing the cocky prick to totally miss her. This only makes him more angry and he darts at Krista once again. But her high heels upend him with a leaping flip kick that delights the audience. Mister Dick is anything but delighted, and as he returns to his feet he makes another lunge for Krista. This time Krista tries to meet his approach with a jumping sidekick, but Mister Dick moves swiftly bellow her long leg. He finally hits jackpot by tackling Krista to the ground from beyond. The Human Hard On can’t help but exert his dominance over the sexy pinup, and humps her from behind, sliding his prized possession between against her two prized possesions. He reaches beneath her to rub her stomach, as his baby oil slicked body slides over her tush nice and slow. MD’s seconds of pleasure soon turn to seconds of miserey as Krista grabs onto the arm beneath her stomach and flips him over into an arm bar! “YEAAAAA!” The audience’s joy is short lived, as a panicked MD quickly uses all his strength to drag his arm out the hold. Fearful of the scowl Krista directs at him, the Cocky Prick scatters towards the outside. Stalling, he chews out a cameraman for nearly tripping him over, even though said camera man was 15 feet away. MD’s ludicrous beef with the videographer comes with a heavy price; Krista is adble to drive her heels through his shoulders with a baseball slide. The Texan careens backwards, crashing into the steel guardrail and leading out a shout of an immeasurable pain. Pain quickly gives way to rage, and he launches himself towards Krista with a bevy of forearms. The blows come down fast and furious, with little nod to accuracy and many nods to pain. No match for a man half a foot taller than she is, Miss California is forced to resort to a slightly underhanded tactic. Tickling. KRISTA (doing baby talk) Who’s mama’s funny boy? Who’s mama’s funny boy? MISTER DICK KRISTA Yes you are! Yes you are! The ticklish MD can’t control his wild laughter, as his entire body goes as red as a tomato and tears of hilarity pour freely from his eyes. Yet, there’s nothing enjoyable about what Krista does next; she rams his face into the guardrail to a shout of celebration from the fans. And again his head is brought into the metal, eliciting a terrible scream from his throat. KRISTA (ramming his head into the rail) Who’s a pretty baby when he bleeds? Who’s a pretty baby when he bleeds? Unfortunately for the blood lusting starlet, she can’t draw a single speck of blood before Mister Dick elbows her away. He once again turns his fury on her and bombards her with closed fists. The audience boos everyone of his strikes, leading him to turn around and give them the one finger salute. But when he turns back to Krista, he’s met with a similar gesture and a trio of knife edge chops! The strikes don’t do enough damage to Mister Dick to prevent him pie facing her away causing her to crash skull first into the ring posts. The spectators gaze on in fright as their heroine goes toppling over to the ground. “I’ma put a stop to yer old super woman shit ya freak ho!” Mister Dick proclaims, hovering over her wounded body. His hands then fall around her neck in a vicious double chokehold. She gags and wheezes beneath his powerful grip as he grins sadistically into her tear soaked eyes. Abruptly, he calls an end to his choking, and with his hands around her top drags her off the canvas. He snatches her into a front facelock, and then snatches a handful of her firm booty to the envy of many an audience member. From there he lifts her high into the sky and drops her buns of steel across the steel guardrail! Seated on the thin rail, she groans in pain with little thought to MD’s whereabouts. That’s rather problematic, as the southwestern beefcake strikes her with a lethal Stiff Kick! She topples over into the stands, where concerned fans immediately inquire about her welfare. COLE That’s a first. A BUTT assisted suplex into a stiff kick. The Real American Dick crosses over into the stands right as Krista is starting to return upright. He cuts off any possible comeback by latching onto the ribbons in her hair and driving her head into guardrail. Krista let’s out a full-throated scream as the fans cringe with horror. With widened eyes they watch as Mister Dick gleefully carries across the arena floor. The fans part like the red sea while MD moves her moves her towards the rink boards. Once he reaches his destination he hurls her stomach first into the boards. Draped over the boards, she moans miserably as searing agony tears through her six-packed stomach. Her situation worsens incredibly when Mister Dick returns to grinding his member into her ass with the fury of a dog in heat. But whatever pleasure Dickzilla took from Krista’s behind is forgotten about the moment she strikes a fans’ replica belt against his face! The audience applauds loudly, as Mister Dick’s hands immediately move to protect his handsome face. “I used to think all wrestling fans’ who brought belts to show were pathetic creatures totally incapable of being conversed with as human beings. I mean, I still do think but without your adherence to stupid things like being accepted into society I might never be able to wear this thong again.” She says to the portly young man that assisted her. Krista nods one final thank you the fan and rush towards Mister Dick to blast him in the back of the head. As the agonizing blow stumbles him forward, Krista gazes at this mysterious object called a replica title belt. “United States Title? Honey, why would you show up with a title we don’t even have. It’d be like showing up at Mister Dick’s house with books, or education, or a high school diploma.” COACH That ain’t true. Mister Dick is a legend in Texas high school football and was a star QB at Texas A&M! COLE He was a third stringer that got suspended three times for violating team rules, and finally kicked off the team when he drunkenly sodomized the mascot and posted pictures on the Internet. The former Aggie is about to catch another vicious blow to the head. But thanks to his NCAA all-American agility, Mister Dick ducks bellow the belt strike. Before Krissy can turn around and retry her effort, the former tag champ coils his brawny arms around her neck for a sleeper hold. “Nighty night, skank!” He chuckles while the audience shudders at the thought of a possible submission. Thankfully their fears haven’t much time to come to fruition. With minimal effort Krista is able to plant her heels onto the boards. Foolishly, MD assumes she has zero hope of escape. He’s proven wrong when she kicks off and flips through the air to bring him down against the ring floor with a sliced bread #2! I still have no idea why that move is named that. KC ANSWER ME!!! “YEAAAAAAA!” screams the sold out audience over the yells of a downed Mister Dick. “Owww crap! Why the hell did I do that move onto concrete! You there, “ She turns towards a man who looks like a paunchy Matt Lauer “You look like a guy who spends a lot of time trolling chat rooms for teenage girls, redirect your noble but illegal efforts towards starting an online petition to get this floor changed to cotton candy. Speaking of, someone hook a lezzie up with that sweet funky stuff!” No less than five people toss the fitness queen her desired treat. She catches two and let’s the other three fall to floor. Krista happily takes a chunk out of the pink treats, before realizing she’s violating her diet. Not wanting the sugary food to go to waste she jams it right into Mister Dick’s face! More surprised than hurt, Mister Dick mumbles obscenities through his sticky mask. However, Krista “mistakenly” interprets this as a call for more candy and picks up two more pieces. MD pulls away his candy mask and screams, “Woman, don’t you dare! I ain’t eating anymore crap that’s been in these filth buckets mouths” “Oh, honey, I don’t see why not, you eat plenty of penises that’ve been in other people’s mouths.” Fiercely outraged over that comment, he Cocky Prick rockets another Stiff Kickat his foe. But, Krissy is well prepared for the attack and catches his quick moving boot within her hands. Moving swiftly, she kicks out his leg and brings the lanky stud to the cold dirty floor. The cleanliness of the arena is the least of his worries; Krista twists his ankle into an ultra painful anklelock! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Krista busting out her second submission! And the two she’s used tonight are more than she’s used in her whole career. COACH This is the only company where ignorance is applauded. Well, this and FOX News. Krista’s inexperience with submissions greatly hinders her; Mister Dick, with unerring ease, turns over onto his back and uses his free foot to shove her. The force of the blow pushes her against the boards, where her back cracks against the hard surface. Crippled by this pain, the walk of famer is incapable of moving out the way when Mister Dick crashes into her with a lariat. She’s upended over the boards and dumped into the regular seating area! The Human Hard On celebrates his show of brute strength by pretending to urinate on a nearby five-year-old girl. R Kelly would be proud. ABDULLAH My brothers and sisters, be not alarmed, urine posses both fiber and essential amino acids. Praise be! Mister Dick grabs Krista by the back of her boobtastic top and hastily hauls her upright. His hands bounce across her skull, weakening her and forcing her into a quick retreat. She backs up the steps, the combination of Mister Dick’s strikes and the screaming of the audience afflicting her with a terrible headache. Barely able to stay upright, she braces onto the railing for all the support it can offer. Thankfully this offers a minor reprieve due to MD being busy accosting a male fan in the asile way. The elderly gent fights against the OAOAST’s resident bully, but he’s no match for Dickzillia, and quickly loses his belt to Mister Dick. MD cruelly shoves his victim to the ground, and then turns his attention to Krista to lash her back with the leather strap! ABDULLAH Yes, brothers and sisters, yes! Krista is seeing the result of her ugly sins and Allah is punishing her through Mister Dick! Praise be, my friends, praise be! The lashings come down heavy hard, leaving brilliant red marks on Krista’s perfectly tanned skin. She let’s out terrible screams of agony that wrench at the heart of the hissing audience. “Keep making that noise, woman! I want everyone to hear what’s its gonna sound like when I stretch yer daughter’s coochie out back in the locker room.” He screams, smiling wildly over the imprints his lashing leave on her skin A lust for vengeance overrides her incredible feelings for pain and she whirls to tag MD with a backhanded slap. Krissy follows that up by tagging him with three more slaps. No more than a second after the third one lands, Krista crushes MD’s skull with a panty revealing high leg kick. The audience pops huge, delighted over watching MD teetering on the verge of falling down the stairs. Krista takes advantage of his weakened state by leaping onto the railing. She wows the fans by flying back off, wrapping her money making legs around Mister Dick and flipping him over with a spinning head scissors! Mister Dick is thrown into a world of dizziness and hurt when his landing finds him crashing head first against the arm rest of one of the seats. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” the crowd sings while MD slowly slides down the stairs. “Wow a holy shit chant, it makes my walk of fame induction look like signing autographs at the grand opening of an AutoZone in Lubbock, Texas. By the way Mister Dick will be signing autographs from 9-5 at the grand opening of the AutoZone in Lubbock! Its all free of charge, but it would be lovely if you could chip in so he has money for the bus.” Like everyone who has the misfortune of being humiliated by Krista, MD is infuriated and attempts to shut her up with his stiff kick. But again he misses the strike, and lands with his 12 inch meat missile smashed firmly against the railing! COLE That’s an extreme way to kill pubic lice. Just stick it inside a bug zapper, man, that’s what Beavis and Butthead did. The cheers of the audience grow even louder when Krista slams a dropkick into his back that leaves him lying stomach first across the railing. His breath comes labored and weak, clearly he’s incapable of fighting free of predicament. As such, Krista decides it’d be a great time to go surfing and leaps onto his back like a board. “In history of Krista’s bad ideas, this rates somewhere bellow me telling the kids in the burn victim unit we were gonna get on like a house on fire. With that said, surfs up!” she says, and then uses Jock as a surfboard to slide down the railing! The fans marvel in wonderment at the never before seen sight and erupt with gigantic applause as Krista leaps off perfectly at the end and poor Mister Dick takes a nosedive onto the concrete! Mister Dick puts forth a string of profanities that would make the devil blush, as he lies a brutalized mess on the floor. COLE Do you know Krista used to be a championship surfer as a teenager? COACH Did you know Krista was a star lacrosse player in college? Did you know Krista was the best goalie in UCLA women’s soccer history? Did you know Krista played a recurring role on Will & Grace? Did you know Krista landed on the moon? Did you know Krista can speak to dogs and together they’re plotting the liberation of the Hawaiian Islands from American rule? Did you, Mikey? Huh? Did you? Mister Dick goes up and over the railing on his will, eager try to take the match back to more familiar territory. But, exhausted he sags down onto the ring mats and this allows the sex kitten to take position on the steel guardrail. Pleasing the audience she hikes up her already too short skirt, and lets her gorgeous behind take them to 7th heaven with some serious jiggling. “Its amazing that I can keep my balance and do this at the same time You know the thing really has a mind of its own. It just starts grinding and jiggling, that’s great when I don’t want to wait in line at Dunkin Donuts, no relation, but terrible at a wheelchair charity race when I cause a sixteen chair pile up.” Once finished with her commentary Krista back flips and lands squarely on Mister Dick with a moonsault! She rolls backwards, and watches as her foe tries to return to his feet. Once he reaches the halfway point she violently assails him with a running dropkick to the head. The sound of her heels mashing his skull into the metal is hideous but it thrills the audience none the less. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” ABDULLAH Be strong, Mister Dick. You are an emissary of the Messiah, Mister Theodore Moneymaker, who is a chosen savoir of our one lord and god. You shall overcome! Sing with me, Cole! Mister Dick manages to get his feet under his own power, but still finds himself on defensive, trapped inside a front facelock. The GLAADiator begins twirling him around for a Life In The Fab lane (twist of fate). However, Jock summons a surprise burst of energy and breaks free of her clutches. Stunned over his escape, she fails to prevent him from hauling her down with a double leg takedown. Mister Dick lecherously licks his lips at his peak down her skirt to her tan thighs. But putting business before pleasure, he flips her over into a Boston Crab! COACH That a boy! Krista’s golden hair falls in front of her face, muffling her pained screams. MD’s 265 pounds of muscle push down her back, nearly snapping it in half. Krista is nearly brought to tears, but still finds the will to try and battle towards the ring apron. “You better not quit, grandma! Not until I got my foot long sausage inside that big mouth!” “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant while Mister Dick increases the pressure and pain behind the hold with each second. A submission seems inevitable, but the ill tempered Mister Dick is distracted by an audience member taunting him. Annoyed, Dickzillia realizes his hold and turns his attention towards threatening the fans’ wife and daughter with a late night visit. “You wanna talk some shit? Talk some shit on this!” He hollers before planting his boot into Krista’s back. He then goes to pick Krista up by her ribbon decorated hair, only for the bombshell to shove him away. Seething with rage over the simple push, Mister Dick shoves her back and she crashes back first into the steel steps. While she lies in a battered heap next to the dislodged stairs, the Cocky Prick climbs onto the ring apron. He taunts the disgusted audience by grabbing onto his crab riddedn junk, before he comes flying off with a splash onto her back! The fans can only turn away in fright, as Krista’s anguished shouts are heard loud and clear over Buffer’s nearby microphone. COACH There’s that agility that put Mister Dick in the running for the Heisman! COLE Are you crazy? He was a third string quarterback! If that puts you in the running to for a Heisman, then the guy cleaning the pee stains off Bush’s toilet seat is next in line to be vice president! Mister Dick hoists one of the steps above his head, ready to launch it at Krista like she was a WR on his old Aggies squad. Fortunately, Krista protects her lovely face by dropkicking Mister Dick square in the face, sending both he and his steps tumbling over. As soon as he hits the mats, MD is thrown under assault from stomps by the foxy mama. She weakens him just enough to position his prone body on the steps. Miss Money In The Bank then leaps onto the ring apron, checks her makeup out on the video screen and with all eye liner good to go, dismounts her perch with a corkscrew shooting star press! As beautiful as the move is the landing is every bit as ugly as Mister Dick rolls off the steps and Krista’s back smashes into it! She screams, the audience, and Mister Dick laughs manically at them both. ABDULLAH Do you see, what’s happened, my brothers? The gates of hell have been opened up on our enemy, and swallowed her whole! Mister Dick hurls Krista back inside the ring, and quickly follows her. With a twisted smirk forming on his face, he lets his white boots mangle her already wounded back. Through the vile stomping she tries to rise to her feet, but Mister Dick’s assault is too much and she stays grounded. “YOU CAUGHT CRABS! YOU CAUGHT CRABS! YOU CAUGHT CRABS!” the fans chant, which only makes Mister Dick’s attacks grow more brutal. Finally he ceases his stomping, and brings his rival to her feet in order to irish whip her towards the ropes. Hunched over and glaring like a predator, he waits for her return. And waits. And waits. And waits. “What’s going on? Are ya havin’ a senior moment? Why aintcha runnin back?” “Uh, why would I do that?” Krista wonders, leading against the ropes to catch her breath. “God damn it, you got alzhemiers? Ya run back ‘cause yer supposed to!” “Say’s who?’ “Says who!? What wrestling school did you go to, Golden Girl?” “They have school’s for this shit? Oh, honey, you are too much. Wrestling schools! Ha! Retards really do say the darndest things.” Pushed well past his limits of tolerance, Mister Dick complains to an unsympathetic referee about Krista’s behavior. This behavior becomes even more vexing when she runs to him and drives his face through the mat with a face crusher! “Honey, you were right, running to you really did help. Thanks for the tip.” She sarcastically comments to a round of muffled insults from Mister Dick. She heads to the second rope and comes down across MD’s left leg with a knee drop. He rolls away, clutching onto the wounded limb and grinding his teeth against the pain. Miss California stalks his retreat, as her hands glide through her golden hair. Once she reaches her escaping rival, she grabs hold of his right leg. She then flips forward, awkwardly ripping at his hamstring. He grabs at his sore muscle, as furious eyes watch Krista parade across the ring with hands on hips. She returns with the intent on doing further damage to his legs, only to be stunned when he hauls her downwards with a drop toe hold. Ignoring the pain in his leg, Mister Dick quickly takes hold of her’s. “Hey, Robinson, how much are these beautiful legs insured for?” Mister Dick asks the referee. “Ten thousand dollars” “Its yer lucky day, little mama, yer about to be ten thousand dollars richer” He coolly informs her before slamming his elbow against her knee. Two more elbow strikes follow, leaving her to stew in a mixture of anguish and anger. Her anger mounts further, from the frustration of being incapable of stopping the Human Hard On from draping her leg over the first rope. “It’s a shame this beautiful piece of God’s craftsmanship is gonna have to be in a cast for the next couple months, but you shouldn’ta messed with ol dickzilla.” Jock comments right before he drives the brunt of his weight onto her leg. Krista immediately pulls her leg off the ropes to prevent further damage. But, there’s no escape from Mister Dick’s onslaught; he regains control of her leg and hammers her hamstring with a closed fist. He then backs away from her, grinning a devious grin as he admirers his handiwork. ABDULLAH Notice, my friends, notice the way Mister Dick’s career has blossomed and flourished without the negative influence of the bad seed, my sister, Melody. I’d like to say I help facilitate the change inside my House of Worship, but every man’s journey is his own. Replaying one of Krista’s earlier moves, Mister Dick captures hold of her leg and flips forward to nearly shred her hamstring muscle apart. Somehow after that vicious attack she gathers the strength needed to step upright. But she hasn’t the strength needed to remain standing and capsizes to the canvas to the incredible amusement of Mister Dick. Scratching his pubes (no homo), he saunters over to Krista and lays a stomp into her leg. Pain overtakes her entire body, and she furiously slaps the mat in anger. Her agonizing display brings a smile to MD’s face, and he continues his dissection of her leg with a leaping elbow drop. Quickly back to his feet, he retries the move, only to have Krista slide out the way. His arm smacks across the canvas and the pain is immediate and burning. Cursing up a storm, he fails to notice her staggering upright. This is to Krista’s advantage as she uses the element of surprise to catch him with an arm stunner! The audience comes alive with massive cheers, overjoyed to see Mister Dick flung backwards to the canvas. COLE Krista got him there! She may not think all that highly of professional wrestling, but just for her ego alone, which is gigantic, I don’t think she’s going let her undefeated streak slip away. COACH Goes to show ya how ass backwards the OAOAST is. The person who hates wrestling has the best record! Mister Dick lies on the canvas with his arm held close to his chest in protection and pain written across his countenance. Krista sees his wounded state, and has the will to capitalize on it , but her weak and tired legs won’t give her the way. Thusly she frustratingly flounders on the canvas like a wounded bird. But, her hands find the ropes and give her the assist she needs to get to her feet. Through sweat, and strands of hair, she watches her adversary do the same. But, MD is much quicker then the crippled starlet, and takes her leg out from under her with a chop block! There’s a cheer from the audience, but its not for Mister Dick, its for Krista’s resiliency as she somehow is able to get back to her feet. She doesn’t stay for very long as MD throws a basement dropkick into her ten thousand dollar legs. She keels over, wailing as though she’s just been shot. COACH See, that’s the problem with Krista, she talks a bunch smack on a dude, they get mad and they hit her, she starts crying, they feel bad and let up, and then she goes and massacres them. Mister Dick slides out the ring, and with a crazed look of sadism on his face, stomps over to the Spanish announce table. Even though the announcers didn’t say word one to him, Mister Dick pie faces them both to the ground! Laughing at their misfortune, he grabs onto a monitor and rips it clean out the table. There’s a buzz of intense dread from the audience as they watch MD gather a chair into his weapons cache. The monitor is flung into the ring, but MD carries the chair close to his chest, as he steps between the ropes. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans are desperate to rally Krista , but their cheers are replaced by horrified gasps the moment he rams the chair into her leg.. Krista can't contain the agony that bubbles at her throat, and long tortured cries spill free of her mouth. Her pain is Mister Dick’s pleasure, etching a cruel smile onto his face. He raises the chair once again, cackling over the misery he’s about to inflict. But just as he begins bringing the chair down, Krista brings her boot up and connects swiftly with his infected genitals! “YEAAAAAAA!” is the ecstatic reaction of the audience, as Jock’s hands release the chair to minister to his nightmarish pain. ABDULLAH Ah! Krista Isadora Duncan, I suggest you prepare your coffin because Mister Dick will respond swiftly and decisively! He lurches about canvas, and his curled mouth screams out with deep roars of misery. All of this seems to delight Krista, who allows herself a small grin when she acquires his discarded chair. He has only a second to react to the unnerving sight of the beautiful creature hovering around him with the aura of a serial killer. Then the chair slams into his back with the force of a wrecking ball, nearly driving itself through his back and sending him scurrying away in panicked retreat. His labored movements are far too slow to escape Miss California, however, she leaps with her knees pressed into his back and curses him with further misery with a lung blower! Mister Dick’s body bounces off her knees onto the canvas, where the audience gets a wonderful sight of his exhausted face lying cheek first against the mat. While Jock squirms on the canvas , Krista leaps onto the third rope. She the fans gives a little wiggle of her booty and flies off with a BUTT splash! Her landing is perfect coming down onto the center of Mister Dick’s back, and ripping all the breath right out his mouth. “Five minutes to a better BUTT by Krista Isadora Duncan, look hot in a bikini and crack the spine of your worst enemies. Available wherever fine DVDs are sold!” she comments as she dismounts Mister Dick. Trying to find some part of his body that’s clothed is difficult but she settles on his teeny tiny trunks and guides him upright. Her hands clamp across his neck, and though he begins mounting a minor struggle, she meets with few problems in bringing him down with The Blonds Never Pay a Cover (side effect). But unlike the usual version of the signature choke, Krista keeps her arms tightened around Mister Dick’s neck, and rolls backwards to lock her exquisite legs around his body. Loud gurgling sounds and utterances of vulgarities are heard from Mister Dick, but are instantly overpowered by the massive roar of the crowd. “You wanna quit, Jock?” “Get outta my….AHHHHHHHH” MD’s rudeness is silenced by the wrenching on his neck by Miss California. Jock is desperate to be free of the hold as his breath is rapidly depleted by her clutches. As such he resorts to dirty tactics, jamming his finger into her blue orbs. Krista refuses to relent and continues to try removing Mister Dick’s neck from his body. But, Mister Dick will not be dissuaded and his fingers press harder and harder into her eyes until she finally she hasn’t any choice but to release him. Coughing and wheezing as though he were a chain smoker, he limps upright as Krista does the same. He strikes first, stunning her with a pair of jabs, that buy him the time to charge towards the ropes. But as he bounces back he finds his foe is recovered, and she grabs onto his curly hair and throws him over the ropes! Mister Dick comes down on his feet on the outside, but its certainly no happy landing as he stumbles forward to smash his head into the guardrail. Behind his vision, Krissy situates her heels onto the top turnbuckle. In an instant she becomes a purple and blond whirlwind of motion, recklessly swooping and rising above Dickie with a corkscrew moonsault. Despite her small body weight her descending body shoots through her adversary like a bat out of hell! Mister Dick lays there helplessly and his body trembles out of pain and fear. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” sings the audience, as Krista has to use their support to will herself upright. An extra boost of energy comes in the form of a tasty beer handed from a fan. Krista decides that sober wrestling is safe wrestling and instead dumps some of the beer onto her shirt. Turning towards Mister Dick, she puts him under spell through cupping her hands underneath her juicy breast ad squeezing them together. Keeping him entranced and docile with her cleavage, Krista bounces wildly, causing her hooters to fly up high and crash down again CRAAAAACK! The bottle is smahed against Mister Dicks’ forehead creating a torrential downpour of glass, blood, alchol and sweat. As the audience goes insane over his terrible misfortune, Mister Dick falls over to the puddle of glass his bleeding head yielded. ABDULLAH What gall this woman has! I demand that Krista offer an apology to Mister Dick, to the fans, to the OAOAST, to fine people at Coors brewing company, and myself Abdullah Abir Nerdly, speaker of the prophets. The GLAADiator takes hold of her dazed and beer soaked foe and roughly deposits him into the ring. The moment he gets into the ring he begins rolling away, seeking an escape from his exasperating tormentor. But two long strides of her legs bring her to his position, where she roughly hauls him off the mat. Acting out of sheer desperation alone, Mister Dick clamps down on her shoulders and jars her with a jaw breaker! Taking no moment to regain his depleted breath, Mister Dick brings Krista to the canvas with a single leg takedown. His hands weave around her ankles, bringing her leg beneath his arm pit in a basic but deadly leg lock. The submission rocks her tendons with almost seismic force, sending tremendous vibrations through her limbs. “You gonna give up, grandma? You gonna get back to your rocking chair?” Frantically and furiously, Krista attempts to pull herself out of MD’s submission. But the fearsome power of the former Aggie is too great, and he laughes at her futile efforts. Yet his laughter is soon silenced as Krista’s uses her free heel to stab him in the mouth. Though that pops the fans, it outrages the bloody superstar and he tightens the grip on his hold in response. The pain from the leg lock is outrageous and the urge to tap is even greater. But Krista is determined to keep her spotless record intact, and with all the energy left in her body begins to kick away at Mister Dick. What are merely annoying shots at first, quickly escalate into something far worse, and Mister Dick is forced to relinquish his hold lest she make further mincemeat out his face. As his visage flares with bright red fury, he waits for Krista to hobble upright. Once she does, he encircles his arms around her slender waist, tucks his head beneath her arms and lifts her high into the air. A five second delay draws considerable heat from the fans that grows hotter when he slams his knee onto her’s! ABDULLAH A knee breaker! Blessed by the messiah! Mister Dick climbs onto the second rope, where his focus is momentarily distracted by making an oral sex motion to a thirteen year old girl in the front row. Once his pursuit of a statuary rape charges concludes he dismounts the turnbuckle with a knee drop that lands squarely on Krista’s knee. Pure pain stretches across her face, as all she can do from passing out is slap her fist across the canvas. She struggles and struggles to find a way to her feet, but stranded in the middle of the ring, she’s in a dire situation when Mister Dick collects his steel chair. He smiles through his crimson mask, as he circles her like a vulture ready to savor its delish meal. As the audience’s heat reaches its highest point yet, Mister Dick drives the chair right onto Krista’s leg. The feeling is worse than an amputation with a buzzsaw, and yet Krista refuses to show pain, instead turning to Mister Dick and challenging him to do it again with a cold hiss. Dickzilla is happy to oblige, and terrorizes her knee once again with another shot. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KIRSTA!” He roars like a rabid wolf as three more strikes come down against her cash producing legs. Finally Mister Dick discards the chair in order to take possession of Krista’s legs. He licks his hands and then rubs them down her smooth bronze skin with the kind of sick smile normally reserved for the worst of predators. Krista has zero intention on being victimized and shoves him away with a kick. Hastily, she scurries to her feet, but her movement isn’t fast to stop Mister Dick from bum rushing her with a forearm. The shot staggers Krista, but doesn’t manage to floor her, leaving her open to a bombardment of closed fists from the Human Hard On. Krista tries to fight back against the strikes, but the brawny stud quickly smothers her offense by hooking her into front facelock. Ignoring her shrieks of protests, Mister Dick lifts her and situates her onto the top rope. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the spectators chant as they watch their heroine helplessly teeter on the ring posts. Mister Dick’s “Shaddup, why dontcha!” Mister Dick barks, joining Krista atop the turnbuckle. Once again she’s trapped inside a front facelock, leading the audience to bemoan the dreaded forthcoming superplex. Krista isn’t so willing to give up hope, however, fighting against his restraints with wild punches. The once fearful audience is abuzz with hope that their girl might escape. But hope is short lived, as Mister Dick releases his hold to begin slamming his elbow into her forehead. These attacks do nothing to quell her sprit, though, and she continues to battle back at MD until she batters him away from the posts. The Human Hard On succeeds in coming down on his boots, but lands off balance. This leaves him a perfect target for the beautiful swanton press the covergirl strikes him with! They barrel down to the canvas, crashing with a booming thud that’s almost as loud as the spectators’ shout of joy. ABDULLAH All is well, my friends, all is well! Allah will guide to Mister Dick to victory…or I will convert to Judaism. Now forced to deal with a titanic headache in addition to constant blood loss, Mister Dick is in a spectacularly poor mood. He attempts to subdue his angered mind by subduing his foe with a lariat. But Krista sidesteps his blow, and latches onto his arm to bring him down into a crippler crossface! The agony brought on by the hold builds at an alarming rate, and MD begins screamin, unsure of how much of this torturous hold she'll be able to withstand. Stuck in the center of the ring, the ropes appear so distant they might as well be in on another continent. Thus, Mister Dicks uses those bulging biceps to push his way free of the submission. He moves back upright, but still feeling the affects of the crossface, he can’t stop from Krista from ravaging him with a knifeedge chop. “WHOOOOO!” “Seriously, the next person who whoo’s when I’m wrestling is going to be using Terry’s underwear as a breathalyzer. Thank you.” After chastising the audience, Krista whips her rival towards the corner. He smacks against the post with such force that he immediately staggers away from it. But he doesn’t make it very far as Krista runs in and forces him to bite her shiny metal muff! Mister Dicks takes a graceless swandive to the canvas, to fantastic cheers. “Who’s the grandma now, Dickie?" she shouts. “I am!” The ropes aid Mister Dick in returning upright, where the stubborn cowboy aims to take Krista’s head off with a discus punch. However, the only thing Mister Dick twirls right into Krista’s trap, and the Hollywood pinup sends him twirling downwards with a spinning crossface! The audience puts out a colossal cheer for an impending submission, but their joy is premature; Mister Dick effortlessly rolls through the hold, springing back to his feet. Much to his consternation, Krista rolls with him in order to bring him down with another crossface! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE She’s got it! She’s got it! What do you think Moneymaker’s saying about this, Abdullah? ABDULLAH I’m unsure, friend. But I am saying this, Krista is to submission wrestling, as Melody is to my family. A disgusting embarrassment! The audience loudly begs Mister Dick to tap, and with the incredible strain Krista puts on his neck its not such a terrible idea. He hollers and curses reduced to raving lunatic as the pain rushes through his body. His head is a fountain, squirting blood out his temple, down her manicured hands and back onto his face. “TAP! TAP! TAP!” With one gigantic, almost miraculous burst of energy, Mister Dick roars with the strength of a lion and begins fighting his way upwards through her hold. COACH He’s out! He’s getting out! Coach’s excitement is much too overhasty, as Krista heaves Mister Dick back downwards to a rapturous cheer. Fighting for freedom, fighting for consciousness, Mister Dick acts as though he’s fighting for his life with feverish thrashing against her chains. He can feel tendons in his neck and shoulder begin to separate, but even still he cannot bring himself to submit. Finally, with the aid of herculean strength he nudges Krista over onto her back. Although shocked by sudden shift, she still has the wits about to tug on his neck with an elementary neck crank. Sadly, the hold doesn’t do nearly enough damage towards Mister Dick, and with unerring ease he grabs hold of her oft-targeted leg. Holding the limb, he breaks free of her neck crank and takes a seat on her face. His beef bayonet tries to ram itself through uninviting lips. “You gonna say MFHFFIMFFQUMMITMMFF!!” He shouts and then bursts into a fit of laughter, still trying to plunge through her mouth. Krista already low mumbles are muffled by his treacherous performance. Her discomfort is worsened by the second, as Mister Dick tears away at her leg with her knee bar. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Beneath Mister Dick’s mammoth monster and trapped inside a terrible submission hold, the cheers of the fans barely register in Krista’s mind. Only thoughts of escape fill her head, but there’s hardly anyway to accomplish that with a hulking muscle god pressed against her face. She bucks with her free leg and flails her arms wildly, but the display of will doesn’t lasts for more then a few seconds; her breath is quickly hauled away by Mister Dick’s suffocating perversion. “Say I quit! I wanna feel you on my dick sayin you quit!” He hollers, above the desperate chants of the audience. If anything that steels Krista’s determination, as she’s thoroughly unwilling to provide him that satisfaction. But with a total inability to breath, and her well insured leg being ripped to its breaking point, her possibility for escape dwindles every moment. “Say it! Say it!” his face is red with crazed excitement, spurred on by his continued efforts to push Krista’s lips open. He rips at the hold harder than ever before, feeling her bones and tendons crack beneath his fingers. COLE How much more can Krista take? How can she survive this move? Sadly the answer may be not very long as Krista raises her hand to possibly tap out. But if she were going to submit, or if she were gathering her strength we’ll never now as her daughter Jade enters the ring to smash Mister Dick with a chair! “YEAAAAAAAA!” ABDULLAH The demon spawn has arrived! The gates to hell have opened! Cole, my friend, shield me behind your poor facial hair! COACH She ain’t got no place ‘round here! I think Krista was just about to tap and she ruined it! Jade may have succeeded in freeing her mother from Mister Dick’s hold but she unfortunately drew the ire and the perverted lustings of the cocky prick. A sickening snarl appears beneath the red veil on his face as he stalks a fearful Jade across the ring. At first she begs him to leave her alone, but then she summons her mother’s courage and takes a swing at him with the chair! Unfortunately, Mister Dick catches hold of the chair and rips it free of her hands. Gone is her bravery, understandably so, with the raving mad Mister Dick ready to bash her skull in with a steel chair. But before he can strike Jade, Krista yanks the chair away from him! “YEAAAAA!” the fans scream, not noticing that Christian Wright and CPA have snuck into the ring. The pair go unnoticed by Krista who winds up on Mister Dick. As such she’s taken by complete surprise when CPA storms through her with a lariat! As Wright applauds CPA’s show of power, Bosley saunters into the ring and puts the boots to the fallen walk of famer. “BOOOOO!” COLE This isn’t called for! Not one bit! ABDULLAH I will hold Krista in my nightly prayer. The foursome join in on gang stomping Krista, while her frightened daughter watches from the corner. The bell rings repeatedly in the background, as if that could somehow stop these hounds from brutalizing Krista with their thuggery. Christian lifts Krista into the air and slams her back down on the steel chair with the Wright Off (sky high)! Jade has to close her eyes, unable to stand the disurbing sight of watching her other be manhandled by such brutes. COLE Somebody needs to step this! COACH And who might do that? The only people Queen Krista gives the benefit of her association to are Shayne, who’s injured, Tyler, who’s five foot nothing, Terry, who’s an idiot, Molly, who’s probably critiquing the cinematography, and Alix, who might think this is a hallucination! All hope is not lost, however! A gigantic ovation comes from the mouth of every fan in the arena as Zack Malibu slides into the ring! COLE Zack Malibu is here! The three time world champion is here! There’s no moment to be frozen with shock, in the presence of The Franchise, and the goonsquad springs into action. Bosley makes the first move only to be upended by a back body drop that ejects him from the ring! CPA follows his partner in and meets with the same horrible fate, landing in crumpled heap next to the Alpha Male! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Wright manages to catch Zack from behind and clubs him down with a pair of forearms. Zack whirls around to fight back, but Wright meets him with a series of European uppercuts. He subdues Malibu just long enough to pin his arms behind his back. Mister Dick doesn’t need any sort of instruction and immediately comes at Zack with his Stiff Kick! But the In Crowd leader rips away from CW, and Mister Dick’s signature hold blasts him in the face and sends him hurtling through the ropes! “Ah crap!” Mister Dick shouts and then turns a menacing glare onto Zack Malibu. Malibu doesn’t wait for Mister Dick to spring into action and strikes first with a swfit kick to his infected genitals! COLE Oh my! The Human Hard On barely has a second to tell the roaring fans to shut up before a School’s Out shuts him up and leaves him lying on the canvas! “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!” ABDULLAH Allah give me strength, your soldier wages war! The normally cowardly Abdullah decides he can take no more of Zack’s interference and slides into the ring to admonish his behavior. He waves around his holy book, and dresses the OAOAST poster boy down (no homo), demanding he repent for his sins against Allah. Only twenty seconds into the spiel, Zack has heard enough and levels the speaker for the prophets with a School’s Out! COLE And down goes Theodore Moneymaker's spiritual guide! “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!” the fans sing, on their feet taking great pleasure in his domination over the villains. Zack now turns his focus on the shell-shocked mother and daughter helping them both to their feet. Jade is gushing over being saved by Malibu, but Krista, who used to doing the star-striking, plays it cool and offers Zack a heart felt thanks. The Franchise merely smiles back and says “told you I owed you one.” Together they join hands and raise their arms to a thunderous, a thunderous, god damn it I said thunderous, cheer from the capacity crowd COLE A great match ends in a no contest, The Enterprise and friends try to harm Krista, Zack Malibu coming through big tonight! He said he owed Krista from last week and boy did he pay off the debt. Way to go! COACH Yeah, he’ll be receiving a nice fruit basket from her agent I bet. COLE Folks, we’ll see you next week! FADE OUT! Edited November 15, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 15, 2008 CREDITZ Dr.Z 149 KC ZM ALF EWC P'OG Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
