Guest BrianScala Report post Posted February 16, 2002 Throughout Vince's evil reign, the fans have become conditioned to enjoy short exhibitions of flash and chaos. Every time Hogan posed, he shot his venom into the crowd. Every time Hunter spews his venom, disguised as water, the fans become more brainwashed. The Secret will counteract this venom and destroy Vince McMahon Jr. The secret to defeating Vince was born in ECW and created by a world famous, Noble Prize-winning scientist named Mick Foley. Foley came to ECW in 1994 and quickly realized how fans would react to the violent, hardcore behavior displayed in the ring. Foley was determined to create an environment full of peace and tanquility. One day, he put his experiment to the test. He got in the ring and started wrestling. The fans reacted violently, but in a good way, just as anyone in rehab would react after not having their drug of choice for 24 hours. Foley continued his extreme experiment by placing his opponent in a headlock and leaving him there for ten full minutes. The fans reaction switched from violence to restlessness. The Sickness had taken hold, but we all know that after the Sickness is over, so is the addiction. Once the fans became clean and sober, they realized just how strong Foley's cure was and they began to celebrate him as a man and a paragon of virtue for all mankind. He did the talk show circuit and spoke at colleges around the world (Foley DOES speak four different languages fluently!). Wrestling fans embraced him as a lover of women and a leader of men. Unfortunately, when Foley's college tour stopped at Fairfield University, just minutes from WWF headquarters, Vince showed up to confront his strange new nemesis. Foley finished speaking to the overjoyed audience and disappeared backstage when Vince injected his evil poison into Foley and took him to his lair. There he performed brain surgery which made Mick believe he was a piano prodigy who was abused by his parents and forced to live on the streets of Cleveland until "Uncle Vince" saved him. He became a servant of evil with no recollection of The Secret. Then one day, an accident occured during an exhibition match between Foley and The Undertaker. In the famous "Hell In the Cell" match of 1998, Taker threw Mick off the top of the cage and crashing through the Spanish announce table. This violent move created a chain reaction in Mick's brain as he started recalling vivid memories of ECW which then led to his recollection of The Secret. Vince knew that a mentally healthy Mick Foley would surely be the end of the WWF, so he concocted a plan to have Undertaker's brother, Kane, beat him unconscious with a sledgehammer. This enabled Vince to take Mick back to his lair for "repairs." This pattern would continue where Foley would hit his head and remember everything, only to hit his head again and suffer amnesia. Foley has since stated that he remembered and forgot his true identity eight times during a classic match with the Rock at "Royal Rumble 1999" in which Rock hit him several times with a chair. When Foley regained his memory yet again the following year after a match with Triple H. Vince set out to kill Foley, once and for all. This would appear to happen in February 2000 when Vince, posing as Triple H, "accidentally" threw the Noble Prize Winner through a cage, through the ring, and to the cement floor. Fortunately, Evil would not prevail for long. A brilliant plan was revealed as the Rock made his movie debut in The Mummy Returns. A longtime friend of Foley, Rock made a cryptic yet startling comment during the movie itself. One of his lines in the film is an Egyptian phrase, "Haku Machente." Translated into English, it means "Foley Is Alive." As wrestling fans would later find, Foley suffered critical injuries at the hands of Vince, but he was Mostly Dead, not All Dead as everyone thought. Foley realized that any re-emergence into the WWF would result in swift, evil action. Thus, Foley conceived another plan. He disguised his good intentions and paraded around as the Evil Commissioner, refusing to wrestle but never turning down an opportunity to shill Vince's numerous money-making products. As the Evil Emperor started to once again trust his former nemesis, Foley asked for and was granted a leave of absence to do the college tour once again. Only this time, he would shill Vince's merchandise ... or so he thought! On a tour stop at Southern Cal, Foley contacted Hogan and the two met at Hulk's Venice Beach home. There, he told Hogan of the Secret and how to use it properly. Hogan tested the Secret during a guest appearance on ESPN's Unscripted with Chris Connolly. During a commercial break, Hogan grabbed Connolly and put him in a headlock. When the show returned from commercial, the audience had disappeared. The move worked brilliantly, and Hogan went to see Vince, pretending to be a servant of evil, asking to second Triple H in his quest to destroy the WWF. The time is now upon us. Vince McMahon Jr. has sarcastically stated that the New World Order will arrive to destroy his precious WWF. He doesn't know just how right he is. How fitting would it be for Hogan to ride in on his chariot after Triple H defeats Kurt Angle at No Way Out, just as he did when Yokozuna defeated Bret Hart, and lay that headlock on Vince's Evil Creation? The End Is Near! (and for the record, yes, I AM a sick bastard!) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CoreyLazarus416 Report post Posted February 16, 2002 Well-written, entertaining. Very little, if any, of it is true, but you do have a knack for writing, sir. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Army Eye Report post Posted February 17, 2002 That was cool. Nice article Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
