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BlackFlagg

Simpsons Episode Draft

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Trash of the Titans just occured to me today. I went through an online episode guide to start compiling a shot list; I hadn't made it as far as season 8, but I knew TotT was good. This is a very proud day for all of us, especially me .

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SimpsonsS07E18.png

 

Season 7, Episode 18, The day the Violence Died

 

advertisementKrusty: Well, Itchy & Scratchy are gone. But here's a cartoon that tried to make learning fun! Sorry about this, kids. But stay tuned! We've got some real good toy commercials coming right up, I swear.

Kid: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?

The Amendment: I'm not garbage.

[singing]

The Amendment: I'm an Amendment to be, yes an Amendment to be, and I'm hoping that they'll ratify me. There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom. I wanna make it legal for policeman to beat'em, cause there's limits to our liberty, least I hope and prey that there are, 'cause those liberal freaks go too far!

Kid: Why can't we just make a law against flag burning?

The Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution...

Kid: Then we can make all sorts of crazy laws!

The Amendment: Now you're catching on!

Bart Simpson: What the hell is this?

Lisa Simpson: It's one of those campy 70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X-ers.

Bart Simpson: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.

Kid: What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

The Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me, and I'll make Ted Kennedy pay, if he fights back, I'll say that he's gay!

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With my next pick, I select:

 

 

250px-TeamHomer.JPG

 

 

 

 

Team Homer/Season 7, Episode 12

 

 

 

"Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Ahh, I gotta go my damn weiner kids are here."

 

"We are not weiners!"

 

"Then how do you explain the uniforms?"

 

"They made us"

 

"OOOOOOH THEY MADE US! THAT'S LOSER TALK."

 

 

 

 

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Simpsons_8FO1.png

 

Season 3, episode 2 Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington

 

Homer: What does the I stand for?

Tour Guide: Important.

Homer: Ah. And the V?

Tour Guide: Very.

Homer: One more question...

Tour Guide: Person.

Homer: I see. What's the I stand for again?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lisa: [at the Jefferson Memorial. Talking to the statue] Mr. Jefferson, I have a problem.

Thomas Jefferson: I know your problem: the Lincoln Memorial was *too crowded*.

Lisa: Yes, well...

Thomas Jefferson: [referring to how empty his memorial is] No one ever comes to see me. Frankly, I don't blame them. *I* didn't do anything important. JUST the Declaration of Independence, the Louisiana Purchase, the dumbwaiter!...

Lisa: Uh, maybe I should go... I seem to have caught you at a bad time...

[walks out]

Thomas Jefferson: WAIT! Don't go!... I get so lonely...

[tumbleweed blows through]

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Glad I checked on this one cause it's yet another pick I swore would have been picked by now but somehow hasn't. Just a really well-crafted episode from the peak era and a superb parody of Rear Window. Obviously, I'm going with...

 

 

Bartofdarkness.png

Season Six, Episode One- "Bart of Darkness"

 

Dr. Hibbert: I'm sorry, that leg's going to have to come off

(Bart and Homer gasp and Hibbert chuckles)

Dr. Hibbert: Did I say "leg"? I meant wet bathing suit. I'm afraid you'll need a cast on that broken bone.

Bart: Aw, I'm going to miss the whole summer.

Homer: Don't worry, boy. When you get a job like me, you'll miss every summer.

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200px-2f07.jpg

 

Season 6, Episode 10: Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy

 

Abe: What, seeeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly

father talk about sex? I had seeex.

 

Abe: Here you go, you ingrate. Think of me when

you're having the best sex of your life.

 

Abe: All question will be answered, all fears will be allayed, with

one incontrovertible demonstration. May I have a volunteer from

the audience? [points to Homer] Yes, _you_ sir.

Now, sir, you've never seen me before, is that correct?

Homer: [wooden] That is correct.

Man: Well then how come his face is on the bottle?

Homer: [pause] Um...

Abe: [pause] Um...

-- Salesmen stumpers, "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"

 

The pair get chased out of town.

 

[banjo music plays]

Abe: You're the worst shill I've ever seen! You're a disgrace to the

medicine shill business.

Homer: They didn't start chasing us until you turned on that getaway

music

 

Bart: So finally, we're all in agreement about what's going on with

the adults. Milhouse?

Milhouse: [steps up to blackboard] Ahem. OK, here's what we've got: the

Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people --

Bart: Thank you.

Milhouse: -- under the supervision of the reverse vampires --

Lisa: [sighs]

Milhouse: -- are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish

plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. [sotto voce] We're

through the looking glass, here, people...

 

 

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Have to say that this is the first episode drafted that I remember outright disliking. My interest in the show had been waning in Seasons 9 through 11 but 12 is where it really kind of flatlined.

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Have to say that this is the first episode drafted that I remember outright disliking. My interest in the show had been waning in Seasons 9 through 11 but 12 is where it really kind of flatlined.

 

I honestly can't remember much of that episode except for that one line which I fell in love with, because I haven't seen it since it first aired.

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Have to say that this is the first episode drafted that I remember outright disliking. My interest in the show had been waning in Seasons 9 through 11 but 12 is where it really kind of flatlined.

 

I honestly can't remember much of that episode except for that one line which I fell in love with, because I haven't seen it since it first aired.

 

SHAKAZULU! in surprise did it for me.

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Sorry I"ve been a little out of the loop lately, but I'm back. Since I've got two missing picks, I'll take from season 6 Homer: Bad Man cuz who doesn't like some sweet can?

 

HBCandyGrap.png

 

and....season 12 Hungry, Hungry Homer.

 

1188658726a670347546m.jpg

 

Homer: Why do you look like caesar romero?

 

Ceasar Chavez: Cuz you don't know what caesar chavez looks like.

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I've watched the Simpsons from the beginning, but I really started loving it around the time of my next pick.

 

Radio_Bart.gif

 

Season 3, Episode 13 - Radio Bart

 

 

This is Kent Brockman with a special bulletin. The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated. We'll stay with the story all night if we have to.

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