Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- From the entrance video we make our way into the sold out Pepsi Center and down to the Holiday decorated Sofa Central. A wealth of presents now lie under the Christmas tree and the menorah shimmers brightly with its lovely neon lights. A bowl of egg nog is placed on the table to make sure our announce team keeps themselves as intoxicated and offensive as they can. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The holiday season may be in full swing, but our superstars aren’t in much of a cheerful mood. That goes especially for The Deadly Alliance’s Mister Dick who has promised to send messages not only to Leon Rodez in tonight’s tag team mainevent but also to several other superstars tonight! COACH Mister Dick droppin them seasons beatins on Rodez is a dream come to life. My biggest one next to Angelina Jolie bathing in some KFC chicken grease. COLE It is good chicken. COACH It some great chicken! Patty-kfc snackers>life “Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends hits and the Last Kings of Scotland march ringside. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. introducing first, Europe’s finest athletes… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Fans in the front row get an unexpected scare as The Braveheart swings his spiked club their direction. COLE Watch out, folks! COACH If anybody needs to watch out, it’s the Beverly Hills Blonds. They’re living on borrowed time. Don’t think for one second Teddy Moneymaker will let what happened to him go unpunished. “Superstar” by Lupe Fiasco plays as the Beverly Hills Blonds, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, walk the red carpet amid flashes of bright lights while loyal assistant and aspiring director Molly Nerdly films them on the Siclopse. BUFFER And their opponents, led to the ring by MOLLY NERDLY... “BOX-OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" In the unaccustomed role of fan favorites, the BHB leave Molly to do the baby face thing, which is cutaways to the crowd in between filming Simon and Ned’s entrance. COLE This crowd is going crazy! COACH And you’d have to be crazy to support a couple of ingrates like the Beverly Hills Blonds. They had it all under the Enterprise, Cole -- tailored suits, chauffeured cars, fine hotels and big cigars. Now what do they have, crowd support? Like that’s going to do them any good in the ring. The Last Kings of Scotland launch a surprise attack on the Blonds as they‘re removing their vests, but as former rule breakers they know every dirty trick in the book and escape harm’s way. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds but the action is already underway. The BHB getting the better end of an exchange with the Last Kings, firing them off for a pair of BAAAAAAAAACK body drops! COLE Outside the Last Kings of Scotland go, to formulate a new plan of attack no doubt because the first one failed. COACH Hey, you know what they say -- if at first you don’t succeed...try, try again. And indeed the Last Kings do, as Scottish Scott and Simon Singleton lockup. Side headlock applied by The Braveheart who is shot into the ropes, decking B.O.S.S. with a shoulder block on the rebound. The Video Voyeur rolls onto his stomach as Scott charges off the near side, then leapfrogs and executes a hip toss. Taken over in a headlock Scottish Scott scissors Simon’s head and bridges up when B.O.S.S. floats on top, viciously smashing his knee into the face of Simon Singleton before delivering a double underhook suplex! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The LKOS tag and Danny Boy drops an elbow, but nobody’s home! Simon wrings the arm and tags Ned, who kicks the Irishman in the gut. Rammed into the buckle DB is stomped repeatedly in the corner, and then fired across for a back elbow. POINTY~! elbow off the near side and Blanchard makes the cover. ONE! TWO! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Ned moves and Scottish Scott knee drops his own partner! SCOTTISH SCOTT The BHB premiere a brand new double-team maneuver as Ned lifts Scott up for a back suplex and falls back after Simon hits a spinning heel kick! COACH I’ll say this about the Blonds: they haven’t become angels all of a sudden. They’re still cheating bastards. Simon dumps Scott outside and waits for the tag. Ol’ Danny Boy takes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX for good measure, which is followed by THE ATOMIC BLONDE~!!! COLE They’ve gone and dropped the bomb. You can put this one in the books. The Blonds successful in their first HeldDOWN~! appearance since quitting the Enterprise 3 weeks ago. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… “BOX-OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Hands raised in victory Simon and Ned’s celebration is cut short when they notice a familiar face ringside. THEODORE MONEYMAKER. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What business does he have out here? COACH Unfinished I’d say. Suddenly DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA blindside the BHB. Theodore Moneymaker’s hired guns do a number on their former associates. CPA with his bare hands, Bosley with his telescopic nightstick. Then to everyone’s surprise, Molly jumps on the back of CPA. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE You go, girl! Rip his eyes out! It’s not long before Molly finds herself on her back. Detective Bosley ready to strike until Moneymaker orders him to halt. He summons the Alpha Male of the Group and whispers something that makes him a very happy boy. Molly pleads for mercy as CPA drags her over to Theodore by the hair. Face to face with her former employer Molly is forced to bow in servitude and kiss the ring of Theodore Moneymaker, as are the unconscious Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. COLE This is disgusting! COACH You’re wrong, Cole. This is a message being sent to the Blonds and everyone else. You don’t mess with Theodore Moneymaker. Moneymaker produces a pair of documents and stuffs them down the throat of the BHB. Adding insult to injury Detective Bosley impounds the Siclopse. MOLLY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THEODORE COLE Damn them! Damn them all to hell! There’s no reason for this, damnit! COACH No reason?! I’ll give you plenty of reason. Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard committed treason when they renounced their Enterprise membership and joined the Dream Team at November Reign. Theodore Moneymaker was ought justice and Detective Bosley and CPA served it up. LATER TONIGHT DA (EX) CHAMP IS HERE THA PUERTO RICAN SPEAKS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE LOSING HIS WORLD HEAYWEIGHT TITLE TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) We’re in the female lockeroom where SOPHIE is currently working on a bit of paperwork assigned to her by Josie. Her progress is halted by… MOLLY NERDLY bursting into the room in anger, even though she has a cool dye job! Wow Dr.Z’s picture method is the bees knees! SOPHIE Bonjour, Molly. What is…wrong? MOLLY What is wrong? Sophie, how could you ask me such a question at a time like this? Was there a way you actually managed to avoid seeing what disgrace just occurred. Sophie lowers her head in sadness over being yelled at by Molly. SOPHIE J’ai honte. MOLLY My humblest apologies, Sophie, its not in my nature to yell at those who do not desere it. But, its also not in my nature to relinquish my most valuable possession and I pulled that off smashingly tonight, didn’t I? SOPHIE If you want I…I…have Josie get it back? The Siclopse? She is the big boss. MOLLY Your Josie may truly lovely you, and she may be willing to do almost anything for you, but she wouldn’t dream of crossing her most powerful ally. He is the man who got her this role, after all. No, I wouldn’t and couldn’t ask you to put yourself in such a position because of my incredible stupidity. SOPHIE You are not stupid! Tu es tres cale! You are very smart. MOLLY Your kindness is appreciated but terribly misplaced. I of all people should have known better to ever place my faith and trust into The Enterprise. I only wished to be close to the Beverly Hills Blonds, and because of that romantic ideal I feel in with the most monstrous of all monsters. I sold my soul and I've gotten nothing in return. I'm behind in my studies. I made no money because I'm an intern, and one can only surmise Moneymaker will claim he his ownership of my footage. And now I have failed to protect the Siclopse. SOPHIE Ne t'en fais pas! The goodness of the director is in her not…camera. You are very great. MOLLY Thank you Sophie what an awfully nice thing to say! Still, it would be terribly terrible if Moneymaker were to remain in control of that Siclopse. I can always buy another camera, but what it symbolizes....I can not allow him and The Enterprise the satisfaction of this victory. Molly bids farewell to Sophie, leaving her friend to look on in worry for her safety. COLE Of course, at November Reign we crowned a new World Heavyweight Champion in Leon Rodez. And Leon last week was certainly not backwards in coming forwards regarding future challengers. He pretty much sent a challenge out to the entire OAOAST roster, all challengers welcome. Well as you can imagine that sparked plenty of debate amongst the OAOAST locker room. And this week we sent a roaming cameraman out to ask the OAOAST stars why they should be the first in line for a shot at the World Champ, in his hometown of Detroit on New Year's Day. Let's take a look. Inside the recording studio we find the Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. SYNTH Leon Rodez the World Champion? Ah guess if he can do it ANYONE can! LOGAN Half a turd better than our previous champion or not, you’re still a turd Leon Rodez. One the Heavenly Rockers would love to flush if you ever stepped into the ring with one of us. You wanna be a fighting champion, huh? We’ll come fight us, because if the left one doesn’t getcha… SYNTH The right one will. ABDULLAH ALLAHuiah! Praise be! -------------------------- BROCK AUSSTIN I've been with this company for a long time, but title shots have been few and far between. Hopefully, Leon Rodez will be the honorable champion everyone thinks he will, and grant The Current Big Thing a shot at his title, because I feel that I've earned it. -------------------------- NED BLANCHARD I don't care what type of match you put me in, table match, ladder match, cage match, it don't make a damn to me as long as that world title is on the line. Leon Rodez is fixin to find out just how hard it is to be the hunted 'round here because it'll be a cold day in hell before Ned Blanchard ever loses to a piece of trash like that! SIMON SINGLETON While my partner makes a good, but not so eloquent case for the next title shot, lemme throw my hat into the ring and say that no one matches up with Rodez quite like I do. You can forget his 450 Splash, his Shack Attack, Mama Said Knock You Out, or any move he's got, because they don't matter. When he enters the ring with me, he's facing a real life BOSS. Call that bitch bojangles? No, call this bitch the next world heavyweight champion! -------------------------- THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Um…I don’t even know why I’m out here, to be honest. But…Leon Rodez? The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? What is this world coming to!? *Sigh* -------------------------- TIM CASH Leon Rodez is a top notch athlete, the kind of champion we can all look to with pride. Yes, he made some questionable decisions early this year in his personal life but he's atoned and apologize for his wrongs and in my book that makes him one of the good guys. It would be an honor and a joy to compete against him for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. -------------------------- SPENCER REIGER Why should I be next in line for the world title? Oh boy, are you really asking me that? Me of all people? Me? That's a very stupid question. Very stupid. Let me flip things around and ask you a smart question. Why wasn't I in the world title match at November Reign? You'd have to have the mind of Einstein and Plato combined to figure that life mystery out. Someone answer me that because I'm dying to know why this once in a lifetime talent like myself gets passed over for this dime a dozen nobody like Leon Rodez. It took him how long to get this world title? Three, four, five years? Six? It won't even take me six minutes to leave him out cold with the Reiger Counter and take the title he clearly doesn't deserve. -------------------------- MARIANO Yo baby, it's been a long time since someone from da EASTSIDE~ was reppin' the 'chip. That's why I should be da next World champ, son. QUINCY Nah, fool, it's gotta be my belt! I'm from da EASTSIDE~, too, QUEENS, son! And I should be the next KING of the OAOAST. WALDO Fuck both you niggas, that belt's comin' ta me! Now, when people ask "Where's Waldo", they gon' be sayin' "he da one wearin' dat BIIIIG GOOOOOLD BELT!" Haha! LUTHER Nigga, you crazy! I get higher than anyone standin' here right now, in more ways than one! Why wouldn't dey choose me outta dis group? All four Burrough Boys argue as the camera cuts away. ---------------------------- THE BONE THUG Ya es hora de que la OAOAST estar representado por un hombre Latino TRUE! Tha de Puerto Rico no era más que un títere del sistema. Él lo vendió a su pueblo hace mucho tiempo! Pero yo, el hueso Thug, no da una rata de culo sobre el sistema! Los apasionados de la OAOAST puede ir al Infierno en la medida en que me preocupa! Yo soy sólo información sobre cómo convertirse en el Campeón Mundial pesado, y yo lo haré por todos los medios necesarios! Al igual que mi héroe Che Guevara, yo no muestran misericordia, no remordimiento y el miedo no! León Rodez, tú eres mi enemigo y debe ser erradicado! Cuando yo soy el pesado OAOAST Campeón Mundial, One And Only AngleSault Thread llevará a cabo por mis reglas! Mi puño de hierro será el juez, jurado y verdugo! Los latinos están tomando el mundo, y que pronto pronto se toma más de la lucha libre profesional a partir de la One And Only AngleSault Thread! Todos ustedes en el One And Only AngleSault Thread proa delante de mí cuando yo soy su líder! I ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD campeón del mundo peso pesado gringos y usted aprenderá a amar a otra persona o que! ARRIBA LA RAZA ~! ---------------------------- Next we go out to the ranch of Baron Windels. The Lone Star Gunslinger playing a game of horseshoes. BARON They say close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. I reckon the same would apply if Leon Rodez and Baron Windels ever hooked ’em up for the World title. You’ve got my respect Leon, but you got something I want…the OAOAST Championship. -------------------------- ALIX I should get a world title shot because when we were dating Leon gave me aids! ALIX Gotcha! But, like, wouldn't it suck if he did? Aids is really crappy. Remember that dude that played for the Lakers when I was younger? Johnson or whatever, he caught Aids and stuff, and then he got magic powers from it, and they started calling him Magic Johnson, but it was all sad because the other dudes who played the Lakers, the Clippers and stuff they, thought he'd use his magic to turn them into goats so he had to retire, but then he like summoned Kobe Bryant from heaven and its all good now because the Lakers have Kobe, and Johnson has Magic aids! I wish I had Magic aids. Anyway, Leon shouldn't be champion, because one time we went to see a Red Wings game and after the game we got held up, and he cried like a sissy. Its like, dude, have you never been stabbed three times in the stomach before? So I beat the muggers up but he still cried. And sometimes when he would leave the bathroom he'd have a little pee stain on his jeans. Is that world champion material? I think not! ------------------------ JAMES BLONDE Uhm... shouldn't you be asking Landon this? I'll go get him for you if you want! ------------------------ QUENTIN BENJAMIN You know, Charlie, I still haven't forgotten the way that Leon Rodez interfered in our match and cost us our tag team titles. CHARLIE MOSS You know I still remember that! Or what about three weeks ago, when his buddy Bohemoth laid us both out in a six-man tag? BENJAMIN That's right. Team Heyross owes those guys in the In Crowd. And I could think of no sweeter revenge than to take the World Heavyweight title away from Leon Rodez. MOSS You know, you're absolutely right? I was just thinking that myself. ------------------------ MR. BORICUA GRRRR. Me. Want. Title. Shot. Title. Make. Boricua. Happy. Get. Boricua. Money. Get. Boricua. Women. Pretty. Women. Women. Smell. Good. Women. Smart. Women. Make. Boricua. Happy. Me. Want. Title. Shot. So. Me. Can. Get. Money. And. Women. Leon. Rodez. Me. Will. Crush. You. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Mr. Boricua snorts, yells, screams, cranks his neck, sneers at the camera and then cracks his knuckles. ------------------------ KRISTA Here's the funny thing, I don't have to make a case for being next in the line for the world title. I already have a case. The Money In The Bank Briefcase...Ah jeez did I actually just say those lines? I mean did I personally actually speak those lines under full control of my mental faculties? Was I possessed by the ghost of corny wrestling promo past? Its like I could hear the words coming out of my mouth but I couldn't stop them. It must be how Katie Holmes felt when she was brainwashed into marrying Tom Cruise. Here are some other lines you'd normally never hear me say "No, Cameron Diaz, I would not like to have hot monkey sex with you", "That's okay, I don't really feel like pushing George W. Bush off a cliff into a pool of piaranhas", "What? There's a sale at Berfgdorf Goodmans? No thanks I'd rather stay home and watch the best of ThunderKid on DVD!" Listen L-Rod, old buddy old sweet loveable pal of mine, as you might know by now considering everyone of your miseries somehow revolves around little ol' me, when I want to take something from you, well, I don't quite ask for permission. Its really not the celebrity way. Honey, I come from the Winona Ryder school I just take what I want from you. I don't need to lump myself in a video vignette with the likes of the Burroughs Boys, aka the reason abortion should not only remain legal but strongly encouraged and sometimes required, to plead for it. Let's do the mega magical countdown, babydoll! I've taken Alix from you, I've taken Jade from you, I've taken Tyler and Shayne from you, and the only reason I haven't cashed in my contract and swiped the world title from you is because Jade wubs her Uncle Leon so much. Yes she does! But, Leon, good sir, if you should ever do anything to hurt Jade or betray her trust I will take your title, I will take your pride, I will take your self respect, I will take your collection of Conan O'Brien dvds you liberally rip off for your crappy Love Shacks, I will take your one bed room apartment in Grand Rapids, I will take your 93 Ford Taurus you successfully drugged several Nerdly girls into having relations with you in, and I will proceed to roll all that up into a nice big ball and take your ass virginity with it. As long you don't hurt Jade, you're free to go about using your title reign to sink this company into bankruptcy. As we come back live, we find one more viewpoint to be heard. MR. DICK Baron Windels? Tim Cash? Krista!? Please. There’s only one man you ought to worry about coming after you, Leon Rodez, and that‘s Mr. Dick. Face it: you’re not man enough to handle The Dick. You don’t size up to me in or out of the ring, boy. The Real American Dick is running wild over the OAOAST and there ain't a damn man that's gonna stop it. Cause Mr. Dick is all about making impact. I'm gonna prove it tonight. And I‘ll prove it when I take your damn title. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT RODEZ FAMILY REUNION MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA VS LEON RODEZ AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN THE MAINEVENT Edited December 15, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) The Cary Brothers us back to cable televisions highest rated parody wrestling program. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, from sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! Accompanied by his tag team partner MARIACHI, he is one half of Los Diablos De Fuego... MMMMMOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAACCAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Able to get the introduction out despite having the fruity luchadors rubbing up and down against his legs, Buffer quickly steps aside while the opportunity is present. COLE You've gotta love Los Diablos, always having fun! The fun stops abruptly the moment "King Kong" by LA Symphony begins to pump through the arena. An audible groan goes up for the crowd, knowing Moracca is in big trouble the moment they see Faqu striding out onto the stage and pounding his chest with a primal shout. Backing up Faqu, James Blonde pats his man on the back and leads him to the ring, wearing a grey flat cap, striped hooded jacket and a tight, bright green shirt for no reason other than being The Trendsetter. BUFFER And the opponent hails from The Isle Of Samoa. Weighing in at three hundred and one pounds, he represents Cucaracha Internacional... and is accompanied to the ring by JAMES BLONDE... this is "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFAAAAAAAAAAQQQUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Faqu stomps up the ring steps and into the ring, unnerving Moracca and Mariachi who cuddle up for protection. COLE I don't envy Moracca tonight, having to face the unpredictable Samoan savage. COACH I don't envy Moracca any night. Maybe that's just me. Or maybe it's just anyone who's not you. The referee is able to prise Los Diablos apart and get the right one in (hopefully) to get the match underway. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sets Faqu off and he marches from his corner, closing the gap on Moracca. Backed up in his own corner Moracca doesn't know where to go and finds himself cornered. Before Faqu can strike though, Moracca kicks up off the buckles and catches him in the chest, allowing him to escape the corner. Faqu just growls and stalks after Moracca again unphased. Once again trapped, Moracca manages to dodge past Faqu to escape, then catches Faqu as he turns around with a forearm to the chest. And another. COLE I don't think that's gonna work. Moracca lays in a couple more forearms, before Faqu finally tires of the games and grabs Moracca by the mask to deliver a HEADBUTT! COLE No, thought not. Staggering back to his feet, Moracca walks right into a thrust to the throat, then gets sent into the corner the hard way face first into the turnbuckle. Faqu spins Moracca around and stomps him down, then applies a blatant choke against the middle turnbuckle. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Faqu breaks, with a little encouragement from James Blonde. COLE Now you see, this is what I mean when I called Faqu unpredictable. It seems like without James Blonde to control him, Faqu is a ticking timebomb waiting to go off. Just ask Quentin Benjamin. COACH Now now, we don't know what happened there. COLE We know Benjamin was laid out last week. And we know that Faqu was more than likely responsible. COACH You don't know that for sure. For all you know Benjamin tried to jump Faqu and got laid out. For all you know Benjamin slipped in a puddle of Mountain Dew and Faqu just found him laying there. Grabbing Moracca by the wrist Faqu flings him from corner to corner. Faqu beats his chest and lets out another primal shout before he follows in, looking to crush the luchadore with an Avalanche... but finding NOBODY HOME! Moracca manages to avoid the charge and Faqu hits the buckles sternum first! Moracca then surprises Faqu with a schoolyard trip, forcing Faqu's shoulders down... 1... 2... No! As Faqu gets back up, Moracca goes to the second rope and delivers a dropkick, staggering the big Samoan but not knocking him down! COLE Moracca's got Faqu rocking! COACH Yeah, for what little good it'll do him. Running to the next corner, Moracca agains goes up to the second rope. Another dropkick connects, again only deflecting Faqu rather than putting him down. Moracca gains in confidence though and gets the crowd behind him as he heads to a third set of turnbuckles. Middle rope again, another dropkick flies Faqu's way... but even a wild Samoan is smart enough to know what's coming on the third attempt and manages to sidestep! Moracca bounces off the mat, then bounces off of Faqu's foot as he lays him out with a Thrust Kick! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH How about that flexibility? See, he's more than just some crazed animal like you say. COLE He certainly used to be, before this strange, unexplained transformation into what we see now. Faqu covers Moracca... 1... 2... No! Dragging Moracca up, Faqu sends him into the ropes. Faqu ducks his head looking for a Samoan Drop, but Moracca puts on the brakes and wraps his legs around looking to take the Samoan over with a headscissors. He unbalances Faqu, sending him stumbling towards the ropes. But he doesn't put Faqu down and pays for it by getting mown down with a screaming clothesline! COLE That low centre of gravity on Faqu paying off there. And gravity doing Moracca no favours on the clothesline either! A smug look appears on Blonde's face on the outside, as Faqu lifts Moracca onto his shoulders in a more direct fashion, then delivers on the Samoan Drop! Cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE Much to James Blonde's annoyance, Moracca sticking in this one. And could you imagine Landon Maddix's reaction if Faqu were to lose this match tonight, that'd be a further kick in the teeth for Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Are you seriously suggesting that could happen? COLE Of course, why not? COACH Why not? Oh you are too much sometimes. Dumping Moracca into the corner, Faqu follows up with a short range clothesline against the turnbuckles. Moracca drops to a seated position and Blonde taunts the fans as The Samoan Wrecking Ball backs up. From the opposite corner, Faqu lines Moracca up, then fires up and comes charging... FAQU SAMOAAAA!! ...BUT MORACCA MOVES!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Faqu limps away as Moracca goes to the middle rope again. This time he leaps onto Faqu's back and locks on a rear naked choke, complete with the customary DRY HUMPING~! COACH Oh you've gotta be kidding! Blonde, simply put, looks horrified at the treatment of his Samoan buddy. Lost in his thrusting motions, Moracca doesn't realise Faqu is backing up, until he gets crushed back against the turnbuckles! Faqu crushes Moracca a second time before walking into the middle of the ring. He reaches back and grabs Moracca's head, throwing him up over his shoulder to the mat. As Moracca gets back up, Faqu delivers a boot and underhooks the arms. Faqu then elevates the luchadore up, Mariachi unable to watch, as his homie gets SPIKED into the canvas!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's it, Death By Samoan! Faqu lays over Moracca, with Blonde already climbing the steps... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... FFFFAAAAAAAQQQUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Faqu kneels over Moracca snarling, with the referee making sure he doesn't attack again. Passing by James Blonde takes the microphone from Michael Buffer before he finally steps in to get control of Faqu, allowing Mariachi to drag his fallen partner from the ring and help him to the back. BLONDE If I may take a moment... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BLONDE Now that Faqu's taken care of that piece of business, I've got something I need to attend to myself. You see, last week, there was... let's say, a 'situation' that occured. And this 'situation' is something that's since been blown way, WAY out of proportion, so I'd like to put it to rest right now, so we can all carry on and move on with our lives. Now as you might have noticed my buddy here Faqu, he tends to be a little high spirited at times. And let's just say sometimes he gets a little over excited. Last week was one of those time. Unfortunately, it seems Quentin Benjamin happened to get in his way at that time and unfortunately there was a little bit of a scuffle, nothing major, a little bit of a altercation is all. COACH See, I told you it was something over nothing. BLONDE Maybe he was in the wrong for getting over excited, maybe you were in the wrong for getting too close to him. Frankly we'll never know. All that matters is I'm sorry that it happened. So to Quentin Benjamin, I'd like to issue a public apology on the behalf of my friend here and we trust that this settles the matter. Well we might soon find out, as "Shine" by Collective Soul suddenly starts up. Blonde looks a little worried to see Quentin heading to the ring along with Charlie Moss, especially since the two are already scowling. Blonde quickly goes to lengths to calm Faqu down as they enter the ring. BENJAMIN Are you kidding me? BLONDE Okay, settle down buddy. BENJAMIN 'A little bit of a scuffle'. Lemme tell you what really happened, huh? What really happened is your crazy Samoan sidekick here jumped me from behind for no reason. And then you both left me for dead. You might wanna think about getting a leash for this guy, because he's obviously wacked out of his dome. BLONDE Guys, guys, let's sit down and discuss this somewhere a little quieter, huh? BENJAMIN Nuh-uh. If you think a crappy little apology is gonna get you outta the ass kicking you've got coming, you better think again! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" BLONDE Woah, now hold on a second guys, hold on. This has all been a big misunderstanding and I realise you're a little unhappy, but hey, let's not do anything you're gonna regret. MOSS I agree. Right on cue Benjamin and Moss lunge forward and jump Faqu before he gets a chance to strike! Blonde takes a spill as Moss and Benjamin attack Faqu with right hands to the delight of the crowd. Faqu gets backed against the ropes under the barrage, Blonde recovering to try and help him out, but as he spins Benjamin around Quentin lays him out with a right hand. COACH This is uncalled for! They said sorry! COLE Are you kidding me? Benjamin and Moss are out here for payback, not some half-assed apology and it looks like they're gonna get both! COACH Two wrongs don't make a right! As Benjamin and Moss continue to pound away on Faqu, boos suddenly sound out as NATHANIEL BLACK slides into the ring! The Brit jumps Moss from behind with a shot to the back of the head, then turns Benjamin and NAILS him with a big Lariat! Black puts the boots to Quentin, while Faqu drops to his knees and starts to choke the life out of Charlie, Blonde up and directing traffic. COACH See what you get? You mess with two Champs, you're messing with all three. Now they're gonna get what's coming to them. COLE What happened to 'two wrongs don't make a right'? COACH This is three wrongs so it's okay. The three on two beatdown continues until, to a roar from the crowd, out rushes BROCK AUSSTIN to make the save! COLE HERE COMES THE PUNISHMENT!! Blonde reacts too late to avoid getting nailed with a big clothesline, knocking his flat cap back off! Jumping over his body, Brock manages to duck a clothesline from Black. Front waistlock, he aims Black off to the side and throws him with the Overhead Belly To Belly, sending Black rolling out to the floor. As Brock turns around he comes face to face with Faqu and for a moment the two bigmen stand off, before Brock gets the jump on Faqu, nailing him with a right hand as he starts to roar. After a flurry of them, Brock backs up and sends Faqu up and over the top rope with a clothesline! Landing on his feet, Faqu tries to get back into the ring, but James Blonde holds his wild partner back with Brock and now Team Heyross ready to fight. COLE The odds have evened up and suddenly the Six Man Champions don't feel quite so froggy! Able to convince Faqu to fight another day, Blonde retreats with a hold of Faqu's arm just incase. Benjamin and Moss encourage them to come back and fight some more but Cucaracha Internacional are having none of it and continue to back away with idle threats as "Shine" plays again. COLE Brock Ausstin coming to the aid of Benjamin and Moss here tonight. And what has Faqu and his unpredictable behaviour gotten his team into? -We cut to the back area, where none other than JOSH MATTHEWS stands by! JOSH Fans, the New Years Spectacular is mere weeks away, and it is already shaping up to be just that: Spectacular! Already announced is the - -Josh suddenly stops talking, his eyes wide and fixated past the camera. ? "...I'm sorry...did I break your concentration?" -Josh starts to back away slowly, before revealing RAGDOLL! The fans erupt as Ragdoll puffs away at his burning cigarette while adjusting his OAOAST Intercontinental championship belt, now with the initials "ARB" spray painted in red over it. He is suddenly flanked by two men wearing clown masks. Ragdoll spits out the cigarette and sputters, before looking up at the camera. RAGDOLL Gooooooooooood evening ladies and gen-tle-men. I come to you tonight...to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready for it? -Ragdoll inches closer to the camera, shooting his eyes left and right. RAGDOLL (whispering) ...The OAOAST talent pool needs chlorine. -Ragdoll chuckles as he steps back. RAGDOLL Threee years ago, we had one of the best rosters in this company's history. We had Drek Stone...we had Hoff...we had Axel and Calvin Sczech...Czec...Calvin something...Crystal, Chris Stevens...and of course... Me. However, NOOOOWadays...I have already defeated my biggest competition. I've been in two matches since I've been back...and alREADY I reached the peak of competition. I mean...HOW can that be?! HOW can I not have ANYBODY to face at the New Years Spectacular?! You know WHY I wasn't on last weeks show? Because I had no reeeeeason to be here. I was just sitting at home, doing nothing...watching a show that has become LACKLUSTER at best...I mean, it's enough to drive a man INSANE!! -Ragdoll cracks his neck before adjusting his title belt. RAGDOLL ...I figured out WHY this is so...Same people in the same matches at the same time at every show. So. If no-one else has the balls to...shhhhhhake it up a bit...I'll do it. The best way to make this an entertaining program...is to innnnntroduuuuuce some chaos. -Ragdoll slowly reaches into his pocket, and produces a Zippo lighter. He flicks it open...and ignites the flame. RAGDOLL ...Starting now. -Ragdoll reaches back, handing the lighter to one of his thugs, who takes it, just as the other thug sprays down the set behind them with lighter fluid. RAGDOLL Over the next couple of weeks, I will be...scouting...for competition. Those that I deem good enough will be able to face me at the New Years Spectacular for this title belt. Thug 1 suddenly tosses the lighter, causing the entire set to erupt in flames. Ragdoll simply smiles as the two thugs take off running. RAGDOLL ...These fans deserve a better class of entertainment...and I'M gonna give it to 'em. -With that, Ragdoll walks away, just as the burning OAOAST HeldDOWN banner crumples to the floor in flames. FADE TO COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT THE GUNSLINGER IN ACTION! BARON WINDELLS! LIVE ON HD IN HD! NEXT! Edited December 12, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits and the OAOAST Marks roar at the top of their lungs for one of their favorite superstars. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BW pumps his fist, then removes his jacket and Stewie Griffin t-shirt. BUFFER His opponent, from Kansas City, Missouri , 265 pounds… JOHN “SHOW-ME” STEVENSON! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Unlike BW the 265 pounds on Stevenson is mostly fat. And his does the television audience no favors parading around shirtless and sporting lime green trunks. COLE We’re set to go with more action live on HeldDOWN~! Baron Windels vs. John “Show-Me” Stevenson. COACH And Stevenson is showing me a lot alright. He’s got the body of Jabba the Hut and the face of Peter Griffin, minus the glasses of course. * DINGDINGDING * Windels and Stevenson lockup as the bell sounds, and the Lone Star Gunslingers slams his pudgy competitor with considerable ease, to which Stevenson responds with a hard shove. His opponent crotched mid-ring BW springs “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Baron laughs it off, and then lands a stinging right hand! Fired into the ropes Stevenson is leveled by a dropkick. He staggers to his feet and into an inverted atomic drop, followed by a face to face meeting with BW’s rump. COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! COACH Is that your best pickup line? Because it’ll probably only nab you Los Diablos de Fuego! COLE BW heads up top and IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! The Gunslinger almost decapitating Stevenson with a top rope lariat. Windels serves a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL and makes the pin. ONE! TWO! THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” No, the crowd isn’t hatred for BW but rather MACKENZIE DECENZO who arrives in the ring. She pulls a roll of hundreds out from her bra and stuffs it down Baron’s trunks, then squeezes his BUTT as she gives him a peck on the lips. BARON Mackie exits with a smile, BW a look of bewilderment. COLE What the heck just happened? COACH All I know is Baron Windels is the luckiest man alive right now. And you dips at home are unlucky because we're going to break! Not so fast, Mr. Cole! The Deadly Alliance is huddled backstage. ALFDOGG Another big night for the Deadly Alliance, guys. Tonight, Mr. Dick gets a piece of the World Heavyweight champion in a mixed tag match. *crowd cheers* ALF But that's not all. Tonight, Dick, before you and Malaysia tear apart the Rodez sisters, I've got a plan. You're gonna show me, tonight, just how Deadly you can be. The DA then spots the cameraman. REJECT Hey, get out of here! MR. DICK Who do you think you are, pal? TK pushes the cameraman back into the hallway, then slams the door. OK, NOW it's a COMMERCIAL Edited December 13, 2008 by alfdogg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) Esmaye's powerful and soothing vocals on the beautiful serenade our return to HD. Damn this joint is some mellow hot shit. I be DL'in this right now! When the music fades, the fans at home get an earful of the booing that encompasses the arena, and Theodore Moneymaker simply rolls his eyes, having come to terms with the fans resilience to embrace him as the new hero of the OAOAST. MONEYMAKER Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you, you will not be booing much longer. Tonight, here on HeldDOWN~!, you will bear witness to a historic moment. Tonight, I am out here not to incite, not to anger, but simply to do what's right. Tonight, I would like to officially end my feud with Zack Malibu! COLE He what!? COACH Stand up and applaud, Mikey Cole! It takes a big man to do that! The fans conversate, not sure what to make of this development, but a nod from Alison is apparently to assure them that this is for real. MONEYMAKER My feud with Zack has taken many twists and turns for the better half of 2008, and I feel that with the holidays and a new year coming up on us now, this is what's best. So Zack, I am politely asking you to join Alison and myself in this ring right here and now, so that I can speak with you face to face, and we can put our grudge behind us. Moneymaker, who sounds shockingly sincere, still isn't winning the crowd over, as they boo his attempts at making up with the Modern Day Warrior. What does win them over is the sound of "Getting Away With Murder", as Zack's anthem never ceases to motivate the rabid fanbase. COLE Here comes The Franchise! Malibu pauses before he heads down the aisle, looking up at the ring stoicly, surveying the scene as if he feels another typical Enterprise trap coming in. So much, in fact, that he looks over his shoulder before he starts his path down the aisle. Moneymaker and Alison back up to the far side of the ring, making Zack feel secure enough to enter, which he does. Alison retrieves a mic and walks it over to Zack, and all he can do is stare at her as she hands it over, then almost sheepishly backs off. Moneymaker waits for Zack's music to die down, and just as Malibu is about to speak, he jumps in and cuts him off. MONEYMAKER Now hold on, Zackary. Before you go off with accusations and finger pointing and preaching the virtues of this company and how you'll defend it to your last breath, let me explain to you just why you're out here, because I know you're just as curious as everyone else. I stand by what I said earlier though, and Zack, I think you and eye are finally going to see eye to eye on something. Alison, if you'd be so kind as to open the briefcase for Zack. Alison takes the briefcase from Moneymaker, lays it on the mat, and opens it up. There inside are neatly stacked and wrapped PILES OF MONEY. Zack looks down at it, either surprised by the amount in there or by the fact that Moneymaker carries that much on him. MONEYMAKER Take a good luck at it, Zack. That's half a million dollars right there. COACH Mikey Cole, watch my seat! COLE Sit down, you boob! Malibu stares at the money, but still doesn't get what it has to do with him. MALIBU OK, so what are we doing, comparing pocket change now? MONEYMAKER On the contrary, Zack. This isn't my money. It's yours. MALIBU It's what? MONEYMAKER Let me explain. That's $500,000 right there. A half a million dollars of my own money, and I'm giving it to you, Zack, as a peace offering. MALIBU A peace offering? You think you can just buy me off with your money and... MONEYMAKER Now hold on, Zack. I'm not done. Because if you take that money tonight, there's more to come. Another $500,000 will be invested into a fund solely for your use, as long as we come to an understanding here tonight. See Zack, we can go on and on with this war. Fighting over Anglesault's legacy and the history of this company has distracted us from the fact that we are two very smart businessmen. You helped launch this entire brand, this company. You truly are the poster boy and the franchise of the OAOAST. I'm simply a face in the crowd on the roster, but a face that stands out thanks to my wealth and talent. Nevertheless, I'm also a realist, Zack, and I know that this feud can't go on forever, nor do we want it to. We both have our goals in life, and you Zack have something that means more to you than this petty war between us. You have a family at home. A lovely companion, and a beautiful little girl. A family that you love, honor, and protect every minute of the day. A family that you want to grow old with. And that's where this offering comes in, Zack. I want you to take this money and walk away, not just from me, but from the OAOAST. Immediately, the crowd starts booing their asses off, not wanting their hero to succumb to the pressures of the villainous Moneymaker. Zack looks down at the money, then up at Moneymaker and Alison, then down again. MALIBU So, I take this money and walk away, and I get the rest of it? MONEYMAKER You get the full one million dollars, Zack, all for doing nothing but being the bigger man and walking away from a fight. MALIBU One million dollars, with no other catch to it? MONEYMAKER No catches, Zack. Think of it as a supplement to your retirement fund. In this economy right now, people are starving and scraping by, and while you're certainly well off, think of what another million dollars could do. It's money that you can spend freely, invest, do whatever you want with it. Just take it, Zack. Take the money and go home. Rest your broken body. Wake up next to Candie every morning. Be there for your daughter as she blossoms. Stop fighting battles for Anglesault, or this company, or even yourself. You've already proven you're a legend, Zack. The legacy will live on, but your career can end now, on a high note. You can walk away with your health, and your wealth, with no regrets. Malibu ponders the offer, looking down at the case. He takes deep breaths, and it's obvious what Moneymaker is saying is getting to him. MALIBU One million dollars, to just up and walk away? You want me to walk away from everything I spent the last seven years of my life working for? A company name, a brand, a fanbase, a roster full of guys young and old that came here because of a path paved by myself and my peers? You want me to just give it up so that I'm out of your hair? MONEYMAKER No, Zack. This isn't about you and me. This isn't about our issues. This is about the reality of it all. Do you think your girlfriend wants you to keep doing what you do? Crawling out of this ring a bloody mess, going home with broken ribs and a sore back? Do you think she wants to continue to be used as a pawn so that people can get under your skin? Do you think she wants you to continue to go home and have your daughter be unable to play with her father because he's too hurt to get out of bed in the morning? These fans might not want you to walk away, Zack, and there's a locker room full of people who don't want you to go, but in your heart of hearts, you KNOW that your family doesn't want this to go on any longer? Malibu eyes Moneymaker, and then Alison takes the mic, drawing some boos from the hushed crowd. ALISON Listen to him, Zack. Don't make the same mistake twice. Don't drive your family away in favor of your career. Look at what happened to us, Zack. It was this business that came between us, and turned us into what we've become. If you truly love your family...if you love Candie and little Jenna, then you need to do this. Walk away with your head high, don't force yourself to be something that you can't be forever. Don't wind up a footnote, someone like Some Guy or Big McLargehuge. Go out on a high note, as a company man, as a champion, as a hero. Go and do the right thing. Your fans will understand. They'll respect you for it. This is the right thing to do, Zack. Malibu looks as if he's getting emotional, but is sucking it up for all it's worth. Moneymaker and Alison silence themselves, giving him the time to think this offer over. "PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" clap clap clapclapclap "PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" clap clap clapclapclap "PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" clap clap clapclapclap The fans let their voices be heard, a thunderous chant that they hope will motivate Zack Malibu not to accept this offer. Malibu looks out to the crowd, as if he's seeking an answer, or perhaps forgiveness. Malibu walks towards Moneymaker and looks at him sternly, yet solemnly, then leans over and picks up the briefcase. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE No, c'mon Zack, don't let it end like this... COACH Don't let it end like this? He's making a million dollars to go sit and home and live the life! You are a fool, Mikey Cole! Zack looks somber as he stares at Moneymaker and Alison, who both look at him in approval. Moneymaker nods to Zack, mouthing "it's the right thing to do". Zack turns around and heads out of the ring...until he turns back around and CRACKS Theodore Moneymaker with a SCHOOL'S OUT to an ovation like none other! COACH What the!?!? COLE I don't think Zack Malibu is going ANYWHERE, Coach! Alison freaks, dropping to the mat to check on Moneymaker, as Malibu just stares at what he's just done. Zack then looks at the briefcase and hops out of the ring, as Alison desperately tries to stop him. Malibu hops over the ringside barrier, opening the case and taking the money...THROWING HANDFULS OF IT INTO THE CROWD! COLE Zack Malibu is giving these fans an early Christmas gift tonight! COACH He's throwing that money away! That's Theodore's money! The fans go nuts, as all of them in Zack's vicinity scramble to catch what's floating through the air. Zack makes his way through the crowd, throwing money to and fro, and when he gets to the top of the steps he turns and looks back at the ring. Alison, cradling Moneymaker's head, screams like a banshee, while Malibu ducks through an exit tunnel. COLE Theodore Moneymaker thought he had finally gotten to Zack Malibu with his selective reasoning, but Zack Malibu is not going to be swerved! COACH Zack Malibu is a THIEF, Mikey Cole! THAT'S the role model for our fans!? COLE Poetic justice, Coach. Haven't you ever heard of it? COACH Man, that movie was like 15 years ago and it sucked. If you're going to make a witty reference, be current, Mikey. COMMERCIAL BREAK We return to HeldDOWN~!, where Josie Baker is greeted by the slamming of a briefcase down on her desk. The camera pans to the side, and lo and behold, there is ZACK MALIBU, weilding the case taken from Theodore Moneymaker just a little while ago. JOSIE You're having quit the night, Zack. Why don't you... ZACK Look, I'm done playing games. I don't care if you like me or you don't, but here's the deal. There's a good amount of money left in this case. Now I COULD be a nice guy and hand it back to Moneymaker so that he can pay to have his jaw reconstructed after what I just did, or I could put it to better use and give it to you. JOSIE Is that some type of hooker joke, Zack? ZACK It's called doing business. You give me what I want, and you can have what's left in the case. Zack cracks the case open, and Josie's eyes light up at the stacks of bills still left inside it. ZACK Me versus Moneymaker, one on one, New Year's Spectacular. I'm done with him ducking me, I'm done with the games and the finger pointing and the name calling. I'd have taken him out at November Reign if he didn't run away, so now unless you want every HeldDOWN~!, every house show, every autograph signing, every pay per view, every anything disrupted by him and me, you'll do this. JOSIE You're bribing me to give you a match? ZACK Call it what you want. I don't need this money, and I don't want it...so it's all yours as long as you make that match happen. Josie reaches into the briefcase and pulls out a stack of bills, peeling through it. JOSIE Done. Zack Malibu versus Theodore Moneymaker, New Year's Spectacular. ZACK Pleasure doing business with you. Malibu heads out of the office, and while Josie gives him a dirty look as he has his back turned, it turns into a devilish smile as she looks at her newfound wealth. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Tha Puerto Rican is shown WALKING~! PRL has a serious look on his face. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE And there he is. The FORMER OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican! And he is about to come out here and speak his mind after losing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship to Leon Rodez two weeks ago at November Reign. (Cut to Sofa Central with Double C~!) COACH Time for me to make my exit! Coach removes his headset and places it on top of the announce table. He then stands up, looks around and then crawls underneath the announce table. Cole just watches him. COACH Good to go! COLE Oy vey. Fans, we will be right back with some words from Tha Puerto Rican! Don't go away! More OAOAST HeldDOWN~! in 3! COMMERCIALS Edited December 13, 2008 by Zack Malibu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) The trippy and funky dance of by Alex Gaudino sings as we WATCH OUT for our sponsors! OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by... Useless Shit You Don't Need-Putting 200$ rims on a 98 Neon just MAKES SENSE "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing over the P.A. system, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, an earring on his left ear, sunglasses, a black turtleneck, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt and black dress shoes. COLE And here he comes! The man who, up until two weeks ago, was the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the former One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion...THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican continues his walk to the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican defeated Stephen Joseph Popick back in March at AngleMania VII to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and his Title reign ended at the hands of Leon Rodez two weeks ago at November Reign in an incredible contest. And it seems as though PRL learned his lesson about Leon, when he personally handed the belt over to Leon in a great show of sportsmanship! Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. COLE We have been hearing from OAOAST Superstars all night long about their thoughts on Leon Rodez becoming the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and it looks like we are finally going to hear from the man Leon beat, the man who held the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title proudly for the past 8 months, Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican stops to look at some signs, and then climbs up the ring steps. Tha Puerto Rican gets onto the ring apron. He gives the fans The People's Eyebrow, wipes his feet on the ring apron, and then enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' cheers while "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. Tha Puerto Rican heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands into the air. COLE I gotta say, it feels weird seeing Tha Puerto Rican out here WITHOUT the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt! I've gotten so used to seeing him holding it over the majority of this year! Tha Puerto Rican scans the crowd and smirks. He then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the opposite turnbuckle to raise his hands into the air again. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL points to some people in the crowd and smiles. P.R. then gets off of the second turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican gets onto a third second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise his right fist into the air while he "smells the electricity" as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PR looks out to the crowd once more. He then gets off of the third second turnbuckle and then heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he does the same Rock pose, receiving cheers. COLE These fans are showing their love for Tha Puerto Rican here tonight! We had been seeing a different attitude in Tha Puerto Rican over the past month or so, but it looks like he has finally snapped out of whatever mindset he was in and is back to normal and the fans recognize this! Thank God! PRL smirks. He then gets off of the fourth second turnbuckle. PRL calls for a microphone. The lights go back on inside of the arena. COLE Finally, we will hear from Tha Puerto Rican. The dream came to an end on November 30th. What thoughts have been going through his mind since then? Tha Puerto Rican receives a microphone from a ringside attendant. Tha Puerto Rican thanks the ringside attendant. "Know Your Role 2000" dies down. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Tha Puerto Rican stares at the thousands in attendance. COLE I am told that P.R. still has that injured bicep. He is not yet at 100%. Tha Puerto Rican tilts his head back, lifts his right hand up into the air, and then brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN At long last...after all this time...THE CHAMP IS HERE IN DENVER! (CHEAP POP~!) COLE Denver, Colorado crazy for Tha Puerto Rican! THA PUERTO RICAN So here I stand, in front of the millions... "...AND MILLIONS!" THA PUERTO RICAN ...AAAAAND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican's fans, but...as you can clearly see, I am missing something. That being the one thing that I worked 10 years for. The one thing that I fought for every night and defended every night when I finally got it. The one thing that I shed blood, sweat and tears for everyday for 10 damn years. That being the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Some fans boo at this. THA PUERTO RICAN You know, it's funny. I worked and worked and worked to become World Heavyweight Champion. I strived for it every single day of my career. I dreamt about it. I daydreamt about it. I thought about it every second of every day. But never did I, for one second, think about what would happen AFTER I lost the belt. The thought of losing what I worked so hard to achieve never occurred to me. I never thought about what my life would be like the day I could call myself a FORMER OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. And to be perfectly honest...I'm not exactly THRILLED calling myself that. The crowd cheers, most likely agreeing with this comment. THA PUERTO RICAN BUT...then again, considering how long I waited to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...I suppose that there are worse things to be known as than a FORMER OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd cheers, most likely agreeing with this comment too. COLE Touché. THA PUERTO RICAN Two weeks ago, despite having an injured bicep, I went into November Reign and gave Leon Rodez the fight of his life! And in the end, it was Rodez who had his hand raised. Leon did do what no one else had done in my 246 days as World Heavyweight Champion. He DEFEATED me! He did it. I'm not going to deny it. I'm not going to downplay it. He did indeed pin me 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring to garner *his* first World Heavyweight Title. The crowd cheers, though there are some boos for Leon beating PRL. THA PUERTO RICAN My dream came to an end two Sundays ago. Leon Rodez beat The Man to BECOME The Man! Leon, congratulations. I am man enough to admit that I was wrong about you. You're not much of a joke. You CAN BRING IT when it counts! So, Leon, I salute you! On Sunday November 30, 2008, you were the better man. The crowd applauds Tha Puerto Rican for his humility. COLE A nice show of sportsmanship from Tha Puerto Rican. He truly is back to normal! THA PUERTO RICAN But Tha Puerto Rican isn't going to live in the past for long! Tha Puerto Rican is not going to whine, cry or complain about what happened. Tha Puerto Rican is going to look to the future! And it is a bright future for Tha Puerto Rican! Oh yes it is! The future is so bright, I gotta wear shades! Heh! Heh! Heh! Tha Puerto Rican says that he WILL get another shot at the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! And come hell or high water, no matter what I must do, no matter who I must face, no matter what obstacles, challenges or roadblocks are placed in my way. NO MATTER WHAT! Tha Puerto Rican says this to you, my Lightning Bolts, that someday, sooner or later, Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that he WILL once again become One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! And THAT'S the truth, Ruth! The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth inside of the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has made a promise! He will become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion again! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Tha Puerto Rican stops to "smell the electricity" again. Tha Puerto Rican then goes back to pacing back and forth inside of the ring. COLE The Lightning Bolts are in attendance here tonight! Tha Puerto Rican brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN And you know something, Tha Puerto Rican say-- PRL is interrupted by Britney Spears' mega hit, Womanizer! He watches with annoyance and frustration as Mister Dick, clad in only a tiny yellow towel, steps onto the entrance stage with his leather bound lover, Malaysia. MISTER DICK Boy, just who the hell do you think you are, runnin your mouth like a god damned retarded kid? THA PUERTO RICAN I am Tha Puerto Rican, the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today! "P-R! P-R! P-R!" MISTER DICK Well, for the record, Puerto Rican, I think your just about full of electrifying crap., and I hope you die slow. And I think you ain't worth the shit that comes outta pigs' ass. You say you want another world title shot? You say you guarantee your little sorry ass fans you'll be a two time OAOAST World Champion? I say you can't even guarantee these chumps you can stop me from marching right down that ramp, hopin over those ropes, and layin' you down with one hell of a stiff kick! "BOOOOOOOO!" MISTER DICK Now its bad enough the cocky prick, the Human Hard On, let some two dollar punk with a five dollar haircut, a glorified backyarder still stuck in 1998 pretending to be the Rock run around here with the world title for as long you did. But, I'll be god damned if I'm gonna let him go and get it a second time! You wanna be a world champion, boy? Well, you ain't never gonna get back there again, you little bastard! You don't deserve to be champion, you never deserved to be champion. That's why you waited 5 years to win any belt besides a HI-YAH title or that useless 24/7 title because everyone knew you were worth as much as suntan lotion to an Eskimo! The fact that you're a former champion is a god damned disgrace upon this company's name! Deuce Deuce ain't never gonna be no world champion. Jamie O'Hara ain't never gonna be no world champion. Quentin Benjamin ain't never gonna be no world champion. Bohemoth ain't never gonna be a world champion. Why? Because they ain't they own men! Just like you, they don't got they're own style, they don't got their own personality, they got videotapes and a notepad and they gonna burn through paper writin off stuff to rip off till the cows come home. Just like you. They're doin a tribute routine like some Elvis impersonator workin a truckstop casino in Reno. And that shit is just honkey dorkey and real special, long as we never forget they ain't built for no mainevent scene. But somehow, when it came to you, something happened. You slipped by, I don't know what, people done lost their marbles for a few months, but people forgot you don't deserve no belt besides the one I'd use to whup your little ass. They forgot that for five years you treatin the OAOAST like its some sort of costume party brought down the company with some biggest steaming piles of crap in the history of pro wrestling. You and the rest of the cheap knockoffs shouldn't have seen any gold besides the ones the real stars like myself give you to shine when we're out nailing your girl. "BOOOOOOO!" MISTER DICK Now you might think you're different then all the rest of the second rate impersonators they trot out here. You might think you rose above them. Like you got some guts and gumption 'cause you got lucky the times you defended your belt. Once again, I say you're full of crap, boy. You look at me when I say this to you, you do not deserve a world title. You deserve to be treated like what you are...crap. You had your little Cinderella run over the summer and then your carriage turned into a Pumpkin against Leon Rodez. Leon Rodez? Leon Rodez? That worthless little retard has been a doormat for Moneymaker, Krista, Christian, Ned, Simon, Reject, Alix, and whole damn lot of other people a lot better than you and all of a sudden he looks like Hulk Hogan against you. Wonder why that is? Its because you suck! If you were who you say you were you wouldn't lost to no wimp like that and gone and done turned this whole joint into a bigger laughing stock than ya already made it. You ain't world champion material! You ain't even professional wrestler material! This dump is the only place someone like you would be allowed to thrive because your suck can just be buried around everyone else who ain't awful. You are a spineless unoriginal pussy masquerading as a man that's 1000 times better than you and I ain't never gonna let you near a world title. If you ever touch the world title it'll only be because I'm smacking ya right upside the head with it! THA PUERTO RICAN KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! MISTER DICK "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mr. Dick is insulted! Malaysia is furious! COLE Uh-oh! You got him mad! THA PUERTO RICAN How dare you. HOW...DARE...YOU! Come out here, interrupt Tha Puerto Rican on Tha Puerto Rican's time on Tha Puerto Rican’s show, HeldDOWN~!? Why you no good, self-centered piece of monkey crap! Tha Puerto Rican should lay the smackdown on you just for wearing that ridiculous outfit! Mr. Dick paces around, ticked off! THA PUERTO RICAN You little jabroni, where is your class? For crying out loud, have you even introduced yourself? What is your name? MISTER DICK You should know by now that my name is-- THA PUERTO RICAN IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN Tha Puerto Rican does know your name, Mr. Dick, and he also can't help but notice the 'DA' on your T-shirt. Now normally, I would say that the 'DA' must stand for 'Dumb Ass' in which case, I would applaud you for being honest about yourself. But, Tha Puerto Rican knows that the 'DA' stands for the Deadly Alliance, and that you are the newest member. The crowd boos. Mr. Dick nods his head. THA PUERTO RICAN But just incase you haven't been paying attention, I defeated your 'glorious' leader, Alfdogg, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES in back to back to back matches! I beat your 'almighty' leader THREE times in a row! SO, if you THINK for even a second that I am intimidated by you, then you've got another thing coming! The crowd cheers again. Mr. Dick can barely control his rage. THA PUERTO RICAN You call yourself Mr. Dick. You talk about the size of your manhood and how you can pleasure women better than any man on the planet. Well, from Tha Puerto Rican’s experience, those who brag so much about what they can do only means that what they CLAIM they can do...they can't do so well. Mr. Dick sneers at PRL at this. THA PUERTO RICAN And if you want some, I will be more than happy to dish it out. I am going to take my size 10 boot, shine it up real good... COLE Uh-oh. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT’D) ...turn that sum bitch sideways…and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!…ALTHOUGH, I THINK that you might like that if what I hear about your she-male companion and her strap-on are any indication. "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" MISTER DICK Boy, are you challenging me to a fight? Look at me and then look at you. Look at me and then look at you. You sawed off little pissant! You ain’t even half the size of my dickzillia! THA PUERTO RICAN THA PUERTO RICAN SAYS YOU AND YOUR PENIS IMPLANT CAN JUST BRING IT! The fans loudly cheer the Puerto Rican legends call to arms, and eagerly await the Cocky Prick be put in his place. But Mister Dick isn't motivated to movement, instead he remains frozen on the ring ramp, snarling in rage over the stinging barbs. Come on down to the creeps Come on down to the creeps COLE Uno and Dos? PRL looks around confused, but in a defensive crouch, expecting to find the oddball luchadores. As the side of the ring fills with smoke their approach seems imminent and PRL readies himself to beat down whoever rises from the mist. Unfortunately his attention to the smoke causes him to neglect Mister Dick, and its for that reason the former Aggie is able to steamroll him with a lariat! "BOOOOOOOO!" COLE It was a trap! It was a trap all along to distract Tha Puerto Rican! However its not an overly successful one as PRL kips up and begins hammering Mister Dick with right hands to the audience's delight! It takes MD a while to recover from PRL's sudden resurgence but when he does he matches the awesome firepower of the former world champion with thunderous blows. COLE These two young bucks are going at it! PRL goes for the homerun swing with a wild haymaker! But Mister Dick ducks bellow the incoming blow and runs to the ropes. He bounces off in hopes of nailing a lariat, but fails miserably when PRL throws him to the ground with a spine buster! "P-R! P-R! P-R!" the fans chant, failing to notice that Malaysia has snuck into the ring. The Puerto Rican fails to notice this as well, and its to his discredit; Malaysia strikes him a devastating low blow! COLE Oh come on! PR tries to stomach the horrible pain, but it grows even worse when Malaysia captures hold of his arm. Within seconds his limb is being brutally snapped by a single arm DDT. PRL screams out in agony, feeling the terrible damage done to his injured bicep. COLE That bicep..they can't target it! The audience is actually on the verge of pleading with Malaysia and Mister Dick to leave the adored star alone. But the crazed look that forms on MD's handsome face shows he intends to inflict full torture on his foe. And he does just that by joining Malaysia in furiously stomping away at his wounded arm. "P-R! P-R! P-R! P-R!" the chants come fast and heavy, even picking up in intensity when MD drops a headbutt onto the bicep. PRL continues hollering his agony, which only draws a delirious smile onto Malaysia's face. Her pleasured grin spreads even wider as she takes her whip across his arm. Red welts appear on his brown skin, highlighting the exact spot of his horrific anguish. COLE This is too much! A champion deserves better! PRL is on his feet, but not by his own power, rather by Mister Dick dragging him upright. PRL tries to use his good arm to fight back against his vile tormentor, but Mister Dick refuses to be stopped. He drags PRL forward and throws his bicep into the ring posts, causing the sold out audience to shriek in fear. Their worries aren't alleviated in the slightest as the camera shows a close-up of PRL's misery ridden face. Mister Dick only heaps more pain upon him by grabbing onto his shoulder and repeatedly ramming it into the steel posts. Malaysia, not wanting to be left out of the fun, delights in cracking her whip across PRL's back. "BOOOOOOO!" Mister Dick drags PRL way from the turnbuckle posts, and smiles broadly to a venomous crowd. He does little to win their favor by striking PRL with an arm stunner! Just a second after that move hit, Malaysia replays it, and the poor San Juan native is left in an almost dizzying haze of hurt. MD watches with smug satisfaction as he stumbles about the mat before he finally strikes him in the arm with a dropkick! COLE PRL...someone...anyone! Help him! Without any help on the horizon, or even so much as a single security guard, PRL is left helpess to the whims of these hellions. Mister Dick drags his almost limp corpse off the canvas in order to attach him into a full nelson. The fans plead and beg him not to execute the Pure Penetration. But their cries fall on death ears and PRL's arm is completely decimated by the lethal full nelson slam! COLE No! The audience spews forth hatred and ill will towards the couple that engages in a wild and sloopy kiss over the body off their battered victim. Medical personnel finally flood the ring, but its too little to late for Tha Puerto Rican. His OAOAST quest back to the top may have been permanently delayed. COLE I...I...I'm at a loss. I don't want to believe what I just saw. Neither do the fans, but as PRL's screams are picked up over the ringside mics, all they can do is pray for the best. Womanizer kicks back up and the victorious couple retreat up the ramp with arms raised, celebrated by their applauding stable mates atop the entrance stage. COACH (crawling out from under the desk) DA CHAMP IS GONE! COMMERCIAL Edited December 13, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) We return backstage, where the Deadly Alliance is laughing it up in their locker room. ALF Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. I admit, I had my doubts at first, but now, there's no question that Mr. Dick is Deadly Alliance material. Alf and Mr. Dick exchange high tens, and the Deadly Alliance resumes its celebration. Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Au! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel When there's no destination - that's too far And somewhere on the way, you might find out who you are Ow! The now red white and blue entrance doors shred apart to giveway to the men who embody the great sprit of that color scheme, The All American Boys. Blue pyro rockets launch into from the entrance stage and red pyro sparklers flare on the video screen behind them. Inside this 4th of July Worthy Display, The All American Boys wave old glory with pride. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making their way to the ring, from The Hearts of The American People, they are Freedom and Liberty, the All American Boys! RAGDOLL (O.S.) Mmmmm… COLE Huh? Just as confused as Buffer and the audience, Freedom and Liberty end their customary handshaking routine to look up at Ragdoll on the video screen. He stands outside in the shivering cold, holding his head down in disgust. RAGDOLL No, no, noooooo. That intRO is WRONG. Its WRONG…very wrong, very wrong. I don’t mean to yell at you. That’s not…polite is it? But do it with feeling. Please These men….deserve it. Don’t they? BUFFER Now making… RAGDOLL With feeling. BUFFER NOW MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING FROM THE HEARTS AND SOUL OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE…FREEDOM AND LIBERTY THE ALL AMERICAN BOOOOOOYS! RAGDOLL And there we go. Th…Thank you Mister Buffer mmmmm you’ve made this a much more enjoyable program. Ragdoll bows a farewell to the still shocked audience, while Buffer chews out a nearby camera man for being told how to do the job he’s been deemed a legend at. The All American Boys, however, keep their focus on the upcoming contest, stretching out and discussing strategy. COLE Ragdoll said he was going to add some chaos to the program. Who would’ve thought he’d do it so soon? COACH Who would’ve thought he’d tell the best in the business how to do his job? Is he gonna tell Hebner how to administer a three count next? "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The lovin is easy when you got "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins playing through the arena! Unfortunately the fans are not soothed by classic hits of two decades past off thumbs down to the soon to be arriving team. The entrance doors sweep apart and through them glides the hairy and sleazy, Rico De Janerio, already twirling his Mardi Gras beads to find some babe willing to trade her top for them. Lucius Soul is minus his usual fro picking swagger and simply walks directly to the ring without any hints of emotion. BUFFER And their opponents at at a total combined weight of four hundred, thirteen pounds... the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... they are, THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii Perhaps willfully ignorant to his partner’s dour mood, Rico eyes up the ladies at rampside, clearly liking what he sees. Sadly for him they don’t like what they see at all and usher him away with crude insults. COLE Lucius Soul doesn’t look the same as we usually see him. This might have something to do with the conversation we saw on Syndicated where he wondered how his life would be like without Rico. COACH I think about stabbing you with an ice pick everyday of my life, but I ain’t putting plans out there all crazy like that. You gotta keep things a little bit more hush-hush than that. Soul marches up the stairs onto the apron and plainly points Rico into the ring. The churlish command doesn’t much bother Rico as he faces down his foes. DING DING DING The sound of the bell doesn’t move either competitor towards action. Rico stands in his corner massaging his thin chest hair, while Freedom tries to rally the audience with good old fashioned hand clapping. Once the fanbase gets behind the patriot, he feels emboldened enough to meet De Janerio for a lockup. His bravery may have been a shade misguided, though, as the Brazillian overpowers him into an armwrench. Cranking and torquing on his foes’ limb, he laughs cruelly at the pain he inflicts. Freedom tries to make an escape, but has little luck with Rico driving his elbow into his forearm. “DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO!” the audience sings as Rico continues to plant his elbow into his foes’ arm. Each hit comes accompanied with tremendous screams from the pained brawler. COACH Disgustin! You think our boys in Iraq is screamin like some sissies when ol sandhead Aladdins be poppin off from a rocket launcher? No. They catch that rocket and throw it right back at Commander Abu Dabbi. These boys ain’t American at all. Having beaten Freedom to the ground, Rico has an easy time of inflicting even more damage upon his rival. He holds onto his wrist with one hand, and presses down on his shoulder with the other while his knee tries to snap Freedom’s arm in two. In the corner Liberty tries to lend encouragement to his partner, but Rico’s constant spitting at him makes this an all to hard task. COLE The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew are pretty much assured a spot in the Anderson Cup. The All American Boys aren’t guanrteed anything but tonight’s paycheck, but this match would be a great time to prove their worth to the matchmaking committee headed up by Jesse Ventura and Tony Brannigan. Rico takes a thick clump off Freedom’s hair, and with his arm lock still held tight, leads the patriot off his feet. He twists his arm very slowly before finally snapping it down with super speed. Though he intended to break the limb apart, his plan goes awry and Freedom reverses the hold! Now given a taste of his own medicine, De Janerio hollers out in agony and begs Soul to assist him. But The Smooth Soul brother isn’t motivated towards movement, and Rico is left to suffer at the hands of a vengeful foe. COACH Who’s to say the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew will even be around when the Anderson Cup starts? If you listen to Soul, he’s got Leon’s world title in his future! Soul’s lethargy and Rico’s inability to escape greatly aids Freedom in dragging his whimpering foe over to the AAB corner to make the tag with Liberty. The All American scales to the top rope and then flies off to strike Rico right in his injured arm! As the audience pops for his misfortune, the South American grits his teeth in frustration and agony and complains to referee Earl Hebner about questionable double teaming. COLE Rico not getting any superstar treatment on HeldDOWN tonight. COACH So you admit the referees play favorites? COLE I admit that sometimes a performer like Alfdogg or Ragdoll may get some leeway from the referees. I will not admit the referees are out to screw everyone of your favorites. An irish whip by Liberty is reversed by Rico and the AAB is sent rushing into the ropes. The multi coloured cables spit him back into the Brazillian’s arms, and those powerful muscles throw him into the air with a back bodydrop! “WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE?” Rico hollers as Liberty’s body crashes into the ring mats. “BOOOOOOO!” The negative fan response fills De Janerio with annoyance and he tags out with Soul in order to stand on the apron and stew over the fans’ lack of appreciation for fine facial hair. While his partner is reduced to complaining about his mustache, Soul makes an impact on the match by snap marring Liberty to the ground. The AAB tries to make a quick return to his feet, but that’s made impossible by the Louisiana native hitting him with a spinning leg drop. Hebner counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Liberty pops his shoulder off the mat! COLE There’s no quit in America and there’s no quit in the All American Boys. COACH There’s no quit in America? We quit the League Of Nations shortly after World War One. COLE The Spanish Ambassador was fond of exposing himself on the house floor. We had no choice. Interesting to note that Spanish ambassador was related to Landon Maddix, and the Canadian ambassador who often cheered his genital exposing ways related to James Blonde. Liberty comes back to his feet but is immediately struck by a pair of swift kicks to his legs, that leave him on the verge of crumpling to the canvas. But he’s kept aloft by Soul, who grabs onto his head and rushes him to the corner. Soul’s plan is to run his rival head first into the turnbuckles, buts its an idea that meets with disaster as Liberty puts his red white and blue boot onto the second rope to stop him. The former pimp retries his effort, but his stubbornness is met with an elbow that puts him on the retreat towards the center of the ring. He takes a moment to clear out a few cobwebs and then makes a mad charge at Liberty. But he runs himself right into a hiptoss! Liberty watches Soul’s lanky body skid across the canvas with a contented smirk appearing across his face. Eager to let his partner in on the action, he makes a quick tag to Freedom. The AAB wows the audience beyond all belief with…a headlock. Trust me it’s a really nice headlock. Freedom cranks and wrenches on the textbook hold, and while it may be nothing for the fans to gush over it has poor Lucius Soul in a world of hurt. COLE Its important to take momentum into the opening round Anderson Cup. Last year Rescue 911 were demolished by Alix in a handicap match and the following week they had nothing for Moneymaker and Wright, to use an example. COACH Rescue 911 had nothing, because that chump Tim Cash got nothing. Mister Moneymaker saw the potential in young Alpha Male Bosley, and rescued him from 911. Thank god! Noticing that Soul is starting to slide his afro through his grip, Freedom abandons the headlock altogether to keep hold of the former pimp with a wrist lock. Wrenching and grinding on the arm, he extends his free hand to Liberty for a tag. COLE The Wrecking Crew looking a bit off their game here. Usually they’d have all sorts of devious double teaming and cheating to get the upperhand. COACH When they cheat, you complain that they’re cheating. When they don’t cheat, you complain that they don’t cheat. Can’t a nigga live his life? Can’t a nigga get some peace? Can’t a nigga be honest for a change? Freedom releases his hold on Soul’s arm to launch him towards Liberty. The muscular brawler nails him in the stomach with a shoulder block, and then flings himself into the ring with a sunset flip. Hebner counts the fall… ONE! TWO! Soul leaps out the pin and quickly scampers upright to regain his offensive footing. As Liberty is still trying to get off the canvas, he sits in a vulnerable position, one that’s taken advantage of by Soul as he strikes him with a twisting elbow drop. With Liberty feeling the ill effects of an awful headache, Soul clamps down on his arm and uses it as a leash to lead him to his corner to bring Rico back into the match. “DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO!” The moment the Brazilian enters the ring the Wrecking Crew’s advantage disappears; Liberty hits him with a flourish of left jabs. As the rapid fire punches have Rico out on his feet, the AAB scoots back to the ropes. Unfortunately he moved to near Soul who clocks him with his twig like leg. Liberty stumbles forwards towards a recovered Rico, and the South American wraps his arms around his waist to overtake him with a Gutwrench Suplex! COLE Great display of power right there from Rico DeJanerio. COACH If it were so great, why would Lucius Soul be leaving the team? COLE He didn’t say he was leaving. He was wondering about his career’s future. Haven’t you ever wondered- COACH Stop right there. I only wonder about what crack I’m gonna smoke and what bitch I’m gonna bone. Weak and grounded, Liberty is the perfect victim for a pair of diving elbow strikes the South American drops across his back. Desperate to protect his aching spine, Liberty rolls over onto his back. But this leaves him wide open to a pin attempt from Rico ONE! TWO! Liberty kicksout! Rico becomes distracted over his frustration with the two count, and this preoccupation creates an opportunity for Liberty to get to his feet. Speedily, he heads to the ropes, hoping to catch De Janerio by surprise but as he returns the pornstached grappler floors him with a big boot! Another pinfall follows… ONE! TWO! Again Liberty kicks out. Annoyed beyond return, Rico applies a quick tag with Soul and barks orders to finish off the resilient AAB. Just as Soul enters the ring, Liberty is returning upright cocking his fist for an uppercut. But he isn’t fast enough for smooth soul bro who puts him on his back with a spinning back kick! Lucius drops down onto his foe to hook his far leg… ONE! TWO! And once again Liberty kicksout the fall. “USA! USA! USA!” the audience sings, now getting behind their home country heroes. “Shut up!” Rico snarls at the fans, making their chants all the more enthused. COLE These great Denver OAOAST Marks can’t help but support two great young men like Liberty and Freedom. Lucius rips Liberty off the canvas and leads him onto his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. The capacity crowd begins murmuring in distress, all too aware of the Fro2Sleep that’s to come. But, Liberty shocks both the fans and Soul by hastily sliding off the New Orleans’s native’s shoulders. Angered by the unexpected escape, Soul whirls around to strike down Liberty. But he can’t connect with him before Liberty dives to reach the outstretched hand of Freedom. COLE The hot tag is made! Freedom enters the ring with furious charge of a raging bull. Lucius tries to cut him off with a leaping sidekick, but the AAB ducks beneath his long leg and continues to the Wrecking Crew Corner to punch Rico right in the face! Rico falls to the apron in pain, but his misery is shared by Soul who gets floored with a dropkick from Freedom! COLE They’re cooking, Coach, the Boys are cooking, and we might see one big upset in Denver! COACH Just being in Denver is upsetting enough, why these scrubs gotta make things worse? Although dizzied and under attack by a terrible headache, Soul manages to find his way upright. Perhaps he should’ve stayed down as Freedom strikes him again with another dropkick. Thankfully Soul is spared further harm by Rico entering the ring. Unfortunately for The Crew, De Janerio has no answers for Freedom’s flurry and gets upended with a hip toss! Just seconds after Rico bounces off the canvas, his head is nearly taken off by the vicious Bleed America (running kick)! While the fans gasp in awe at the amazing strike, Freedom drops down for a fall… ONE! TWO! Rico yanks Freedom right off Soul just a nanosecond before Hebner’s hand touches the mat. Liberty comes to Freedom’s rescue and begins assailing Rico with furious punches. However spirited his attacks may be they fail to do much damage to the swarthy Brazilian and Rico is able to snuff out his attack with a lariat. The moment he hits the canvas, Liberty’s legs are brought into Rico’s arms in preparation for the Wrecking Crew’s slingshot into bicycle kick spot. But, Rico failed to clear the move with his partner, and little does he realize Soul’s has is back turned preoccupied with stomping down freedom! To both of their horror, but to only Soul’s agony, Liberty collides with “Sweet” and they both go clattering down to the canvas! COLE That was a terrible error by Rico. Just plain careless. Its an error that may cost him the contest as Freedom recovers just enough strength to drag him downwards with a schoolboy! ONE! TWO! But Rico kicks out and the huge upset is avoided for now. Both competitors spring upright, immediately trading blows. But the power of the Brazilian is too much for Freedom to handle and a knee to the midsection subdues his flurry. Rico is able to grab his wounded foe in a standing head scissors and bring him across his shoulders in a crucifix pose. The fans boo the incoming finisher and prayer for failure, but there’s nothing they can do to stop De Janerio from hitting the Mustache Ride! COLE I think that’s gotta be it! Rico shares similar sentiments as his thick accent orders Hebner to count the fall… ONE! TWO! THREE! Liberty dives onto Rico, but he’s a second to late, and his tardiness lowers his head in shame. DING DING DING BUFFER The winner as a result of pinfall…THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW! Despite the hard earned victory over plucky foes all is not well in The Wrecking Crew. Soul, still smarting physically and emotionally over Rico’s gaffes doesn’t wish to partake in his partner’s celebration. His only desire is to argue and lambaste, harping on Rico for his mistake. Though they never come to blows the heated passion in which Soul yells is enough to make the fans think that they might. Rico tries to plead his defense, but Lucius will give him no ear, and only the exits the ring grumbling to himself. COLE Wow. Team chemistry not looking very bright for The Wrecking Crew. You have to ask yourself has Lucius already made up his mind to leave the team? TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT FAMILY MATTERS LEON RODEZ AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Edited December 13, 2008 by alfdogg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 FROM THE GOSSIP HEARD ON THE OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE, THIS IS AN ANDERSON CUP SHILL! Inside the Shill Center we go where OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan is position. BRANNIGAN This Anderson Cup shill is brought to you by OAOASTShop-dot-com, where until December 22 everything is 20% off, with selected items half price! Rush delivery is available so don’t leave the OAOAST Mark or Marks in your family disappointed this Christmas. Order right now! Among the items marked at 20% off for the holidays, this brand spanking new Heavenly Rockers t-shirt. Wear it with pride or use it to wash your car if you‘d prefer. BRANNIGAN Before we go any further, did you figure out the answer to last week’s trivia question? Which team won the inaugural Anderson Cup? I know because I was apart of the match! Yours truly and Dan Black, Black T, against our greatest rivals, Johnny Jax and Scotty Static, the Global Party Xchange. Zero Hour February 27, 2005 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment [Referee Nick] Patrick immediately tries to get Jackson out of the ring, as Jivin' Kif (Jivin’ JR dressed as the Futurama character) slides a steel chair into the ring for Tony. Brannigan grabs it, and prepares to WAFFLE Scotty Static, as the young athlete gets shakily to his feet. But as Tony raises to strike, Static somehow, desperately, sums up the energy to dropkick it back into Brannigan's face! Seeing this, Johnny Jackson keeps our referees attention well away from the action. Tony starts to get back up, and Static grabs the chair, sneaking up behind him - and slamming the edge of the chair between his legs! Scotty with a cradle on Tony! Jackson shoves Patrick back around! ONE! TWO! Dan dives for the save! THREEEEEE! *DING DING DING* Tony kicks out! But this time it was after the three! Nick Patrick awards the pinfall! Johnny grabs Scotty and drags him out of the ring, where the two claim the Anderson Cup, raising it high above their heads! BRANNIGAN But there’s no guarantee winning the Anderson Cup equals tag title gold, as the previous four Cup champions have gone 2-2 in their AngleMania title bouts. It’s perhaps that bad taste in their mouths that Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have decided to enter the 16 team tournament set for January 2009 yet again. They’ll look to become the first ever two-time Anderson Cup champions. After what the Billion Dollar Heir did to his former associates earlier tonight, you can bet the Beverly Hills Blonds hope to run into him and CW somewhere during the Cup. Joining them will be the flamboyant duo Wright and Moneymaker defeated in the 2007 Finals, Los Diablos de Fuego. Let’s hear from them right now. In the holiday spirit, Moracca sports a red and green poncho and a Santa hat with glittery red devil horns over his pink sombrero. Meanwhile, Mariachi stares seductively into the camera while sucking on the middle prong of his pitch fork. MORACCA Feliz Navidad, mi amigos! Christmas, Christmastime is here. Time for love and time for cheer! And we know all you great OAOAST Marks will be cheering us on in the Anderson Cup. 2009 is the year of hope and change. We hope to go all the way in the tournament and have the tag team titles change hands at AngleMania VIII. 2008 wasn’t our greatest year, but Los Diablos New Year’s resolution is to set 2009 en fuego! MARIACHI ¡Ole! We go back to Brannigan at the Shill Center. BRANNIGAN To recap, here again are the teams officially entered in the 2009 Anderson Cup. Mr. Dick & Malaysia The Beverly Hills Blonds Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright Los Diablos de Fuego BRANNIGAN As I said last week, this is shaping up to be the most unpredictable Anderson Cup in history. I remind you to stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks and our website for late breaking Hot Newz on the 2009 Anderson Cup which begins New Year’s night on our big annual New Year’s Spectacular. Until next time, I’m Tony Brannigan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) We go backstage where MAGGIE NERDLY is with…. TYLER BRYANT damn this picture stuff is killah. All dudes should hop on this bandwagon! Its even better cause I only pick good lookin dudes and gals. SMH@the economy getting the interview lounge shutdown. Niggas can’t even afford an air hockey table no more? MAGGIE What it is, world! It Girl On The Scene Maggie Nerdly chillin backstage with Tyler Bryant. Used to be I’d drill you with a right cross, but because you’ve been spending less and less time with that scumbag Leon and more and more with someone I actually like, Krista, you’re no longer on my shit list. Nice job. So, last week you got laid out by Mister Dick. The Human Hard On sent a message to the Puerto Rican tonight, do you wanna send any messages to Mister Dick? TYLER Mister Dick, you’ve got a lot of nicknames. Human Hard On. Cocky Prick. Dickzilla. Real American Dick. In my humble opinion, you oughta take a clue from Billy Gunn and dub yourself Mister Ass because I think you’re an asshole! MAGGIE Burned him. TYLER You like that? Thought of it myself. MAGGIE Zack Malibu ain’t got nothing on you, boy. But, get back to Mister Dick. TYLER Sure thing. The OAOAST is kind of like a game of chess. MAGGIE I said talk about Mister Dick not damn Chinese Checkers. TYLER I’m getting there, Maggie. Can’t I set it up with a cool analogy? MAGGIE Not when I have to pee! TYLER Oh. Sorry. I guess I’ll skip it then. It was pretty good. MAGGIE Throw it up on your Facebook then. TYLER I had to take mine offline for a bit. That fat girl that lives a few doors down from Shayne and I’s apartment, she started lighting up my FB with messages like the two of us are hookin up! Since when does “Leave me be!” as a response to “What’s up, cutie with the nice booty” equal “Show up at my door naked at 2 am”? She’s face book cock blocking me from the real action. MAGGIE Man, that sucks. You know what else sucks? Me still having to pee. Hurry up! TYLER Sorry, sorry. Mister Dick, I know exactly why you came after me last week. You can’t beat Krista, no one can, because she’s the greatest. In order to hurt her, you have to target those people she cares about. And Krista cares about me! Sometimes she insults me without realizing, sometimes she slaps me when she mistakes me for Terry and sometimes she leaves me in the car with the window rolled up and accidently takes her dog to Target instead, but she does care about me. You’ll hurt anyone you can to get at her probably. Jade, Alix, Maya, anyone. No more! It stops now! You’ll never get to Krista because you won’t get through me. Krista told me to go after people who deserve to be gone after and I can’t think of anyone more deserving than you. That means you and I are gonna go at it one on one at New Years Spectacular. And I will take you down, and I will take you out! MAGGIE Wow, son! You got Mister Dick at NYS? Not only are you gonna have Krista rooting for you, but you’re gonna have Tha Puerto Rican and all his Lightening Bolts on your side also. MALAYSIA (O.S.) Ohhhhhh Tyler. Tyler and Maggie turn to the TV monitor where Malaysia’s voice seems to be coming from. MALAYSIA(O.S.) That kind of talk. That kind of tough, manly….hmmm…violent talk, god does it turn me on! It gets me in the mood, Tyler! It gets me in the mood to do something like this. In a darkened janitor’s closet which looks almost as vile as Malaysia’s real dungeon in Edmonton Krista finds herself hopelessly strapped to a chair and gagged by a pair of Malaysia’s panties. She yanks at her chains, feeling frightened and vulnerable. Kneeling, Malaysia rubs her nose against Krista’s womanly area, inhaling her fragrance through her jeans. She kisses the area passionately as though it were her mouth. TYLER and Maggie MALAYSIA But, this? This gets me so wet. I’ve had lots of lovers…and lots of…victims. But I can’t remember the last time I ever had one so very pretty. There’s been so many girls and boys that have cried beneath my orgasmic pleasure but I’ve never been able to break one as proud and beautiful as this one. I can’t help myself. I didn’t want it to come to this. It was just supposed to be between Jock and her. But everything about her intoxicates me. Esquire magazine calls her the most beautiful woman in the world, and she is. To leave her out there for someone like me. Its like leaving a zebra in front of a starving lion. You might marvel at the grace and beauty of the zebra but all I want to do is tear it apart, hear it scream, hear it beg for mercy. I hear her sultry sexy voice and I just have to ram my juice soaked panties into her mouth. And even that's not enough. I want to lower my naked body onto her face, feel her salty tears and her salty tongue on my bare BUTT. I see her nice juicy ass and Ooooooooh I can’t stop thinking about her bent over my spanking table, crying as all my toys ravage that beautiful BUTT. Putting on my favorite strap on and pounding away at these buns of steel all night long. Watching those cheeks jiggle as she bounces up down that 9 inch piece of plastic. And these huge gigantic tits. What can I say about them? She smiles softly to herself as her eyes roam over Krista’s body drinking in its luscious beauty. She reaches down with one hand running her fingers over the top of the firm skin of Krista’s breasts before fondling it hard making her whimper. MALAYSIA Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of doing this, Tyler? She grasps Krista’s nipples through her shirt to pinch, pull and tweak them. Krista groaned her sensitive nipples felt sharp jolts of pain as Malaysia tormented them. MALAYSIA Beautiful aren't they? Everyone thinks they’re seeing the perfect Hollywood Princess, but all I see is a greedy, spoiled little slut that’s begging to be punished. You can have Mister Dick, Tyler, I’m gonna have her in a dildo on a pole match at New Years Spectacular. I'm going to break her will and make her mine. Miss high and mighty celebrity is going to be my nasty down and dirty slut. How do you think your body on all fours stuffed full of my toys is gonna look in Ok magazine? We'll find out! COMMERCIAL Edited December 12, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) COLE The topic on everyone's lips right now is the new World Heavyweight Champion, Leon Rodez. Let's get more thoughts from those looking to get first crack at the gold. ALFDOGG Everyone already knows I should be the next in line for a World title shot. United States champ, and unlike you, Leon, I actually pinned a HEALTHY Puerto Rican twice during his title reign. I mean, it's a no-brainer! ------------------------ CUBAN WALL I could list the thousands upon thousands of reasons why I deserve the first shot at the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, but you people all know the reasons why by now! Suffice to say, I am the best wrestler in the world never to be World Heavyweight Champion! I am the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner, a former OAOAST 24/7 Champion AND one-half of the most underrated tag team of all-time, Brains & Brawn! And yet, I have only gotten exactly ONE OAOAST World Heavyweight Title shot in my entire career, and that is just an injustice of the highest magnitude! Well, all I need is one more shot to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Leon Rodez has fought the smartest, the fastest, the slickest, the sexiest AND the deadliest! But he has never met 6’7” 285 pounds of pure Cuban power! There ain’t NO WAY Leon will be able to take down THIS Wall no matter how hard he tries! It is about time that the One And Only AngleSault Thread took notice of me! I AM The Next Big Thing and Leon Rodez will be the first to find out just exactly what The Next Big Thing is made of! ------------------------ BOHEMOTH World Title, huh? Bohemoth lowers his ever-present (except when they're not) orange tinted sunglasses. BOHEMOTH Well, we'll see. ------------------------ DETECTIVE BOSLEY Hit me! CAMERA MAN I don't want to hit you. BOSLEY Hit me! CAMERA MAN I don't wanna hit you, I just want to get this over with. BOSLEY Then hit me, you pussy! BAM! The camera man hits Bosley in the stomach. BOSLEY Ooooooh...ahhh.....oww....ahh....you see that? Fuckin' Superman made of steel right there, baby! What are you, man, 300 lbs easy? Rodez is about a buck seventy? And he thinks he's stopping the Caucasian Assassian, the no limit honkey? I'll kill that bitch! I'll kill him! CPA Man, you gotta chill. This ain't good for your condition. BOSLEY Never mention my condition! Show no weakness! That's the Alpha Way, baby! Leon Rodez isn't up on our alpha ways, man. He's not centered in the mind, body and spirit like I am. Cuz as strong as I am in the physical realm I'm a fuckin Hulk like monster in the spiritual realm. I got my chi centered, my chakras, all that crap is in total alignment, baby! I am like the Model T of the spirit realm, man. I'm in that fat burnin yoga class where they make you take off your shirt. Most of the dudes look like that flat chested crack headed I busted out last week. But not Tango, man, not Tango! I am a rock! I am carved out of God's stone, baby! And even these dyke lookin artsy chicks in the class, they love it, you know they do. CPA Man, you better just cut now, 'cause he's not gonna stop for a good twenty minutes. ------------------------ VITAMIN X There ain’t nobody in the One And Only AngleSault Thread who deserves a chance to become One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion more than Brickston! In each and every Title Match that he has been in, he got beaten by a fluke! First, it was a countout. Then it was a rollup. And then it was one elbow drop when my client was dazed for 3 seconds. There will be no more flukes this time around! When my client faces Leon Rodez in the ring, he will attack him with no mercy. He will unleash the fury that lives inside of him, and he WILL break his ankle! I ask you, the Powers That Be, to give my client one more shot. And this time, I promise you, he WILL make it count! BRICKSTON Leon Rodez, I ain’t your friend no more! You have what I want more than anything else in the whole entire world: the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Tha Puerto Rican got lucky in our previous meetings! But you? Ha, ha, you WON’T be so lucky! I see that you have a surgically repaired right ankle. Well, congratulations, you already have a bullseye on your body. I will make it my mission to break that ankle again! Except this time, it won’t break because of a bad landing or a chairshot. It will break because of the power of my bare hands! And then, I will FINALLY be in possession of the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship belt! And I WILL FINALLY BECOME ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Leon Rodez, clench those fists, because it’s Fists Of Fury Time! ------------------------ TYLER Leon, you're my friend. But, Krista says friends are just people who's girlfriends aren't attractive enough to sleep with. So I guess I'm torn on that end. I do know that I've always dreamed of being a world champion. Guess you could say I've always wanted the attention that comes along with it. But, I didn't always think I was good enough to do it. Krista says that doing is believing, and she believes I can win, and now I do to. Leon, I think for one night only, we need to put friendships aside, lay it all on the line, and have the match of our careers for the World Heavyweight Title! You know, if... if that's cool with you. ------------------------ DENZEL SPENCER I think I deserve the next title shot at Leon Rodez. I don't like to brag, mon, but I've got some big wins on my record as of late, matches no one expected me to win. And if I get a shot at the World title, who knows what could happen? ------------------------ VINNY VALENTINE (w/Ken Pantera and Tony Tourettes) I'd be a much better representative for that belt than that Leon Rodez guy! Look at me, I'm a better athlete, I'm a better dancer, and I'm also much better looking. TONY SHUT THE FUCK UP, WHORE! YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT! ------------------------ UNO The power of the creatures of the night may not be visible to Leon Rodez. But they are real and they are deadly. The night mother calls to me in my dreams and she tells me its Leon Rodez' time suffer. Its time he felt the full force of death. DOS The children of the nightmother are hungry for your blood, Leon Rodez. You don't understand the power of destruction, Leon. Ducking myself and Uno only makes your punishment from the nightmother worse! You can't escape the black hand of hell! ------------------------ LANDON Look, I don't have to tell anybody why I deserve a shot at the World Title. I don't have to remind anybody that I'm a two-time SWF World Champion. Or a former OAOAST World Champion. I don't have to list my credentials or really state my case. The fact is, Leon Rodez is World Champion because of me. If it weren't for PRL's stubborn refusal to accept my help and my offer of a brighter future, he'd still be Champ and Puerto Rico would have international recognition and I'd have the World Title in hand... uhm, in Cucaracha Internacional hands. But, que sera. His loss, my gain. ------------------------ Up in his luxurious penthouse, Theodore Moneymaker is seated on a leather recliner smoking his pipe. THEODORE Not even Hemmingway could’ve written the story about the rise of Leon Rodez. From the gutter of the porn industry to In Crowd lackey, our new World Champion is a disgrace to the belt he holds. So I intend to bring some prestige back to title by hook or by crook. You’re one storybook that WON’T have a happy ending, Rodez, and you can put that in the bank! BWAHAHA! ------------------------ SPANISH FLY As if beating Tha Puerto Rican is a big accomplishment! Even I’VE done it! Uh…not to belittle my own wins, but…well…you know what I mean. Okay, let me start over. I’ve gone toe-to-toe with Leon Rodez several times in the past, and I’ve come close to beating him more than once! Not to mention, at one time, I was a close ally of his. So, if anyone knows Leon Rodez inside and out, it’s definitely me! I’ve got the mental advantage heading into a match with him! AND I’ve got more heart, more fire and more passion than he does! Not to mention MORE TALENT! I’ve spent my whole life overcoming obstacles, winning when people least expected it, being the underdog. I don’t see why I should stop now! Not when I have the opportunity to become the smallest World Heavyweight Champion in the history of professional wrestling! I’ve shocked people in the past. I WILL shock them again! Spanish Fly throws in a crotch chop and sticks his tongue out for good measure. ------------------------ ZACK MALIBU Leon Rodez, World Champion? Even I never thought I'd see the day where it happened, but you know what? I'm happy it did. You deserve it, Leon. You've made me and the rest of The In Crowd proud. You put that sixteen pounds of gold around your waist at long last. Savor it. Enjoy it. Represent this company as...well, as only you can. I'll tell you this as a friend, and it's something you already know...you can enjoy the belt around your waist, but watch out for the target on your back. Friends, enemies and everyone in between is coming for that title. You think it was a fight to win it? It's going to be hell to keep it. Take it from me, my friend. Enjoy the ride, but don't go off track when it gets a little bumpy. ------------------------ REJECT Isn't it obvious why I should get the next crack at Leon Rodez? I mean, I destroyed him in a steel cage just two months ago. That has to weigh in on the mind of the OAOAST office when determining who's next in line, right? And don't forget how I pinned the ex-champion, Tha Puerto Rican, in a tag team match. I softened him up for you, Leon! So if nothing else, as a show of gratitude, I deserve a shot at your title. Think about it. COLE Our HeldDOWN~! main event tonight, an OAOAST first, a professional wrestling first, uncle and niece World Champions team together. Right now Josh Matthews is standing by with Jade and Leon, take it away Josh. Back we go to the state of the art HeldDOWN~! interview lounge! Moving up in the world from a cold corridor with a projector and some orange lights being shone onto a piece of tarp are World Champion and Women's Champion, Leon and Jade, both with cheerful smiles on their faces as they stand displaying their respective belts over their shoulders. JOSH Thanks Michael. Leon, Jade, history will be made here tonight when you team together in our main event. But I'm sure from your perspective, history has already been made for your family. The Women's Championship and the World Championship, the Rodez family are officially the best in the world. Leon gives his niece a nudge. LEON You want me to do the talking? JADE Uhm, sure, if you want. LEON Thank heavens. You know Josh, you're right on the money. I'm sure you're going to suffer a heavy, painful price for not considering Jade a member of the Duncan family above the Rodez family, but while you're being emmasculated by a sharp high-heeled shoe you can at least look back and think 'I was just trying to create a good story'. Because it is a good story. The Rodez family, riding high on top of the OAOAST. It's not been so much a year of ups and downs as it has a year of downs and ups. We've been through hell and we've come out the other end. And without getting too sappy, tonight it's going to mean a hell of a lot to me after all that's happened to be out there with Jade as a tag team. JADE It's gonna mean a lot to me as well. The whole reason I came to the OAOAST was to be with my big brother. Or, uncle, whatever. The whole reason I started to wrestle in the first place was to be like Leon. Tonight, I am like Leon. And I couldn't be prouder. Tonight it's about the special times I've shared with Leon and it's about the Rodez blood inside me. Hopefully tonight will go a long way to make up for the bad times we've gone through recently. LEON That's sweet, but I thought we agreed I was gonna do the talking? Jade sneers playfully. JOSH Sentiment aside, your opponents tonight will be looking to ruin your feel-good moment. Mr. Dick and Malaysia, who last week picked up a victory over The Love Doctors and are heading for the Anderson Cup and earlier tonight, inflicted a vicious attack on former World Champion Tha Puerto Rican. LEON Yeah, 'Mr. Dick' seems to be on quite the rampage lately, doesn't he? Look, nobody's saying that Mr. Dick and Malaysia aren't a more intimidating prospect on paper than me and Jade. Like you said, they beat The Love Doctors. They'd be a match for any team right now, intergender or otherwise. But pick it apart and there's plenty for us to be confident about. First off, we've got the belts. Plus, I've beaten Mr. Dick before. And Jade's quite clearly got Malaysia's number and will have no problems beating her again tonight. JADE Uh... yeah, I... I guess so. LEON Exactly! THAT'S the kinda confidence this family runs on! And it's that confidence, or possibly just my confidence and whatever Jade can summon up, that's gonna carry us through tonight. Not because we're bigger. Not because we're badder. But because we're the champions, my friend. #And we'll keep on fighting 'till the eeeend# JADE Oh Lord. LEON #Ohhhhh, we are the champions#, c'mon Jade, #we are the champions, no time for sexual fetishes# LEON/JADE #'cause we are the champions#... JADE #OF THE WORRRR....# Left hanging, Jade stops and looks suitably embarrassed at her less than melodious singing. Leon snickers as he scoots off, leaving Jade standing for a few seconds before she quickly disappears. Edited December 15, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 ThIs MoMeNt InTeRrUPtEd dUe tO SHeEr BoRedoM- -The screen jumps from the title, to a rather overweight man tied to a chair. He wears a Zack Malibu t-shirt, a PRL beanie, and a Leon Rodez zip up sweatshirt. VOICE Tell them your naaaame. MAN B-B-Bill... VOICE (mocking) "BUH BUH BILL?" Is that your name? Buh Buh Bill? BILL N-No, it's j-just Bi-Bill. VOICE So...Bill...you're a fan of the OAOAST, corrrrect? BILL Y-Yes. VOICE And whoooo are your faaaaavorites? BILL L-Leon R-R-Rodez....Z-Zack Malibu...P-P-PRL... VOICE So you like who the OAOAST TELLLLLLS you to like? BILL ....I like them because they st-stand up for what they b-b-believe in...and they don't take any g-guff from guys like you... VOICE ....Are you serious? -Bill grows silent. A look of defiance creeps onto his face, as if he is actually being protected right then and there by his favorites. VOICE (yelling) ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?! -The defiant look dies as Bill trembles, now shook to the bone. The camera suddenly spins to show the man behind the camera.... RAGDOLL!~ RAGDOLL See...THIS is how CRAAAAZY this company and it's bland, emotionless product has made me! I have nothing else to do!! I want to compete, but I-I-I can't! I simply can't!! GIVE ME SOMETHING!!...I'm stuck doing things like THIS!! -Ragdoll suddenly places the camera on a table, pointing the lens at Bill. Ragdoll walks out of frame...and reappears, running full steam at Bill! Bill yells, just as Ragdoll leaps....DEVIL DOLL!!~ Bill topples backwards as Ragdoll falls with him, but quickly scrambles towards the camera, which he grabs and lifts, before turning and sitting, camera facing him. RAGDOLL ...Oh, and every day you that you ignore my requests, people will get Devil Dolled. I'm a man of my woooooord. -The camera suddenly switches off -We NoW tAke YoU BAcK To YoUr MiSeRAbLe LiVeS -Ragdoll suddenly hands the camera off COMING UP NEXT THE NOT SO BORING MAINEVENT! LEON RODEZ AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA AND MISTER DICK NEXT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 12, 2008 (edited) BUFFER The following contest is your HeldDOWN~! main event of the evening... an Intergender Tag Team Match, set for one fall! I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! Dickamania is running wild as "Womanizer" kicks in and Mr. Dick kicks out into the arena. Underneath the golden shower of pyro, Mr. Dick and Malaysia engage in a game of tonsil hockey which is arguably more violent than anything you've ever seen in the NHL! BUFFER Introducing team number one. Coming down the aisle, they represent THE DEADLY ALLIANCE! First, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the OAOAST's Ultimate Combination of Beauty and Beatdowns... MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSSSSIIIIAAAAAAAA!! And her partner... hailing from San Antonio, Texas. Weighing in at two hundred, thirty eight pounds... ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE HUMAN HARD ON"... MMMMIIIIIIISSSSSSSSTTEEEEEEERRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Giving a whole new meaning to ball-cupping, The Real American Dick goes through his unique posing ritual on his way to the ring. Behind him, the intimidating Malaysia cracks her whip. COACH The first official entrants into next year's Anderson Cup, the latest recruits to The Deadly Alliance, tonight can Mr. Dick and Malaysia knock off the World and Women's Champions and put their themselves in the hunt for the singles gold? Answer, yes. COLE I can't believe the audacity of these two, coming out here as if nothing happened, as if that brutal attack on Tha Puerto Rican earlier tonight had nothing to do with them! An attack on an injured man! COACH He was provoked. PRL ran his mouth and finally, FINALLY, got what was coming to him. Mr. Dick stops at the foot of the ramp and encourages the fans nearby to back up, or at the very least take cover, as Malaysia rips off his chaps with absolutely no caution about causing him an injury. "Smack my ass!" he cries, which Malaysia does, sending Mr. Dick on his way. The Human Hard On slides into the ring and goes to freaking town on the ring canvas causing the ring to shake uncomfortably, at least for Buffer and referee Chioda. Meanwhile, Malaysia climb the ring steps, cracking her cat o'nine tails against the steel. That seems to wake up Mr. Dick from his dry humping session, eyeing Malaysia as she enters. COLE Even I have to admit, Mr. Dick and Malaysia have to be considered favourites tonight after their showing last week against former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions The Love Doctors. COACH Mr. Dick has been on point for months now. He's been kicking Krista's ass like few others before him, he was the last man standing for his team at November Reign, inducted into The Deadly Alliance. Mr. Dick is on a roll and I don't see it stopping anytime soon. Mark my words, 2009 will be the year of the dick! "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits. Jogging out from the back comes Jade Rodez-Duncan, all smiles as she waves to the fans. Even a glare from Malaysia and the threats of Mr. Dick can't seem to shake her too much tonight. She stops as she reaches the ring, electing not to enter the ring. Instead, she points to the stage, just as "Rock The Casbah" strikes out. The crowd erupt as Leon Rodez sweeps his black and purple cape through the entrance and throws a single finger to the skies. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! First, now residing in Los Angeles, California. She is the reigning OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAAADDEEEEEE RRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAANN!!!! And her tag team partner! Still residing in Detroit, Michigan and weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds... he is the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" It soon becomes clear why Jade is feeling a little more confident than usual tonight, as her... *double checks*... uncle pats her on the back and defends her against the verbal abuse from Mr. Dick. The Rodezes hit the ring together, Leon and Mr. Dick having a little 'téte a téte', while Jade climbs the turnbuckles and raises her Women's Title over her head. Malaysia looks on with a scowl. COLE It's a Rodez family reunion here on HeldDOWN~! And what a golden reunion it is! Jade steps off the turnbuckles and backs away as Malaysia makes a move towards her, quickly stopped by referee Chioda. He sets about getting some order and more importantly getting the right participants in so the match can start. COLE Well this should be most interesting. A lot of history between the respective teams, not to mention associates of the teams. Leon's been at odds with The Deadly Alliance for some time, Mr. Dick and Krista have been at war for months and last week The Human Hard On put a sneak attack on Tyler Bryant, team-mate of Leon and managed on-off by Jade. COACH Not to mention Leon's 'track record' with the Nerdly family. With Malaysia starting for her team, it's down to Jade for the Rodez family. Leon psyches his niece up as he steps to the apron and quickly gets the crowd going for a little further encouragement. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" COLE Malaysia has made the bold move to leave the Women's Division temporarily, in order to join forces with Mr. Dick in the Anderson Cup. Hence why she will not be involved in the New Year's Knockout Match at the New Year's Spectacular. But Malaysia still has personal issues with the Women's Champion after being defeated at November Reign in that California Street Fight. *DINGDINGDING!* Fueled by confidence Jade decides to lock-up with Malaysia and gets shoved to the mat for her troubles! Jade starts to shuffle backwards to get space to regain her feet but Malaysia steps on her ankle and pins her down. Jade kicks out with her other foot though, catching Malaysia in the gut. That allows Jade to get up and hit the ropes, coming back with a clothesline. But Malaysia doesn't go down. Jade tries again, staggering Malaysia a little but still not putting her down. She tries a third time and this time Malaysia reacts, but Jade ducks her clothesline and dropkicks the dominant Nerdly on the turn. COLE Give Jade credit, she's taking the fight right to Malaysia. Clearly gaining confidence from her November Reign victory. Malaysia stumbles back into a neutral corner and Jade stays on her. The Women's Champion lands with a forearm. A second. And a third. She then grabs the wrist, looking for an irish whip. Too strong, Malaysia reverses the momentum and it's Jade who hits the turnbuckles in the opposite corner. However Malaysia takes too long savouring the moment and misses with a body splash attempt. Hitting the turnbuckles, Malaysia falls backwards into a sunset pin... 1... 2... No! Finding herself backed in the corner, Jade lures Malaysia in and kicks up both feet to block her off. Jade then goes to the middle rope and takes off... ...but gets CAUGHT, in a two-handed choke!! COLE What POWER! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Malaysia lets Jade fall to the mat, the referee warning her before fielding the complaints from Leon. COACH Jade better thank her lucky stars Malaysia ain't after her title no more. Okay, she got lucky at November Reign, but sooner or later Jade's gonna get what's coming to her from Malaysia. COLE I've heard you say that before. More than once. Still waiting. COACH Just keep watching Michael. Picking Jade up, Malaysia delivers a scoop slam then drops a leg. Lateral press... 1... 2... No! Jade sits up and Malaysia lies in wait, grabbing two handfuls of hair. As she sets to pull at the roots though, Malaysia gets caught with two feet to the chest! Rolling back a second time Jade gets into a wheelbarrow position and pushes off the mat, dropping with a Bulldog! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" Quickly scrambling to the corner Jade gets the tag to Uncle Leon. A big cheer goes up for the World Champ as he steps in and squares up against one Nerdly sister he's not so familiar with. COLE Now I don't think this is how it's supposed to work. Guys versus guys and girls versus girls is how I understand this match to be set up. COACH Malaysia don't need that. That's just to protect little Jade, who's Mommy can destroy any guy's career in five minutes but doesn't have any experience with grappling with men herself, if ya know what I mean. Malaysia seems happy to stay in the ring and fight, but Mr. Dick is adamant that he wants in. He yells at Malaysia to give him the tag, which doesn't seem to go down well. MR. DICK C'mon, tag me already! MALAYSIA No. MR. DICK Lemme in, I want him. MALAYSIA NO! He's MINE! Sighing, Mr. Dick reaches out and grabs his tag team partner by the hair! The violent display seems to work as Malaysia grins and rubs her hand down his torso (and lower), before 'tagging' him with a firm slap to the chest. Mr. Dick steps in and the couple share a lusting look before Malaysia steps to the apron, with a slap in the ass to remember her man by. All the while, Leon just looks on intrigued. COLE Eventually, Mr. Dick is in and set to square off against the World Champion, having already set his marker down for a shot at the gold. COACH Yeah him and about 88 others. With a typical swagger Mr. Dick gets right up in the face of the World Champion and jaws away. Leon still seems more interesting in his method of 'tagging' with Malaysia though and points out the handprint on The Human Hard On's chest. Not in the mood to swap stories of Nerdly conquests, a handprint is laid on Leon courtesy of a Mr. Dick SLAP! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leon rubs his cheek and cheekily asks if this is Mr. Dick's way of coming onto him. Growling, Mr. Dick throws a more manly right hand, but Leon blocks and fires one of his own! Another block and another punch! Leon then goes to town with a flurry of rights, until Mr. Dick cuts him off with a knee to the midsection. With a club to the back Mr. Dick puts Leon down to a knee and puts on the badmouth before hitting the ropes. Stiff Kick is ducked though, the off-balance Human Hard On put on his back courtesy of a back legsweep. Leon now hits the ropes, Mr. Dick turning over to try and trip Leon up. Up and over goes the Champ, coming off the other side. Mr. Dick is waiting though, gorilla pressing Rodez over his head... ...and losing control of him in mid-air! Landing on his feet behind Mr. Dick, Leon sends him on his way with a firm shove in the back. As Mr. Dick rebounds Leon drops down, forcing the Texan up and over. A leapfrog follows, setting Mr. Dick up for a hiptoss, which Dick blocks and reverses into one of his own... but Leon twists in mid-air and lands on his feet! Leon quickly pulls out a drop toehold, putting Mr. Dick throat-first across the middle rope! COLE Uh-oh. Summoning the crowd, Leon does THE JIG~! He then hits the ropes, shooting back... ...INTO A STIFF KICK!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Quick cover by Mr. Dick... 1... 2... No! After a glare at the referee, Mr. Dick mounts Leon and fires away with piston like right hands! COLE Look at the intensity of Mr. Dick. Like a crazed animal! COACH Well he's got a point to prove. If he can knock Rodez off tonight, he's in the immediate running for the World Title. Stomping back up Mr. Dick lives up to his name again by mouthing off to Jade, before running over and stomping Leon in the head. As the crowd begin to rally, Mr. Dick then taunts them with some more crotch-cupping, before giving them an up-yours. "WE HATE DICK!" "WE HATE DICK!" "WE HATE DICK!" "WE HATE DICK!" COACH I notice you ain't joining in Cole. Go figure. Scoop and a slam sets Leon up, as Mr. Dick comes off the ropes with a big legdrop. He then makes a lateral press, staring at Jade as he dry-humps through the count... 1... QUICK kickout from Leon, who rolls away and looks incredibly creeped out at the contact he just experienced. Mr. Dick stays on him with another couple of kicks to the head. He then hangs Leon up across the middle rope and forces a knee in the back. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" With no break, referee Chioda takes matters into his own hands and pulls Mr. Dick off of Rodez. COACH Hey, easy with the hands there ref! Those abs aren't for general consumption ya know! COLE What the hell does that mean? COACH It means that unlike you Mr. Dick's kinda picky about who touches his naked chest and who doesn't. Mr. Dick shows his contempt for the referee by back-chatting him as he warns him about breaking the count, then arrogantly brushes past him. Picking Leon back up, Mr. Dick clubs him across the chest. Irish whip sends him off the ropes, The Human Hard On this time scoring with a Powerslam. 1... 2... No! From the corner Malaysia demands a tag, but Mr. Dick doesn't bite. Instead he nails Leon a couple more times, before taking hold of his wrist and teasing Jade, daring her to tag herself in and save her uncle. COLE What a dick. COACH Duh. Leon doesn't need Jade's help though, firing an elbow back and catching Mr. Dick, perhaps a little low. MR. DICK Yeah, I'd say a little low. COACH Oh no! DQ ref! COLE I think that was accidental, Coach. COACH Accidental my eye! I know it's a big target, but come on! With Mr. Dick doubled up, Leon gets back to his feet and tees off with right hands. Mr. Dick rocks back on his heels and Leon comes off the ropes, tucking and rolling with the Shack Attack! Bouncing back up off the mat Mr. Dick suddenly looks a little punch drunk and swings wildly, Leon ducking the shot and delivering an inverted atomic drop on Mr. Dick's pride and joy! COACH Not again! Most people attack the brain, Leon knows full well that's where the main blood supply lies! Backing off the ropes again Leon comes charging... and gets intercepted with a high impact clothesline, causing Jade to cringe out on the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Malaysia continues to demand the tag as Mr. Dick limps back up. Checking to see if there's a crack in his personal Liberty Bell, The Real American Dick wanders over towards Malaysia. MALAYSIA Tag me. MR. DICK No way, I've got this. MALAYSIA TAG... ME! MR. DICK Nuh-uh, that's the World Champ! Offended at the suggestion she couldn't hold her own against a man, even the World Champion, Malaysia quickly takes a FIRM hold of Mr. Dick! MR. DICK OKAY, OKAY! Mr. Dick gives Malaysia the tag she demands and she steps in, eventually letting her man go. A breathless Mr. Dick very carefully steps out through the ropes. Meanwhile, Malaysia strides over to Leon who has gotten to his knees. Malaysia grabs a hold of his hair, glaring down at him before delivering a clubbing strike between the shoulder blades! COACH The scourge of the Nerdly family just found out his limit. Malaysia delivers another clubbing strike on the World Champion. LEON Ow... damn, are all you Nerdly girls this rough? Leon's quip earns him a choking from the strict disciplinarian! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." As she lets Leon go, Malaysia suddenly takes a swipe at Jade which causes her to fall from the ring apron. The crowd boo, not loudly enough to drown out the hysterical laughter of Mr. Dick as he yucks it up at poor Jade's expence. COLE That's just uncalled for. Mr. Dick is so busy laughing, he almost doesn't notice Malaysia offering him a tag. He accepts and together the power couple take a hold of Leon and deliver a Double Gutbuster. Mr. Dick goes for a cover, but Malaysia isn't done with her man yet and drags him back up into a lust filled kiss. COACH Come Michael, admit it, you'd give anything to be on the other end of that hot-ass action! COLE Are you kidding? Malaysia would snap a guy like me in half! COACH So would Mr. Dick, but that's another story. Lost in the throws of passion, Mr. Dick and Malaysia fail to notice Leon recovering and getting to his feet. After the lip biting is done with Malaysia and Mr. Dick back away from each other, still eyeing each other up. Mr. Dick is soon paying though, as when he turns around he falls victim to an Exploder Suplex! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Both men remain down and sucking wind as the count is laid upon them. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the crowd willing him on, Leon fights to his feet at the count of "7", at the same time as Mr. Dick. The Human Hard On throws with a Texas sized right hand, but Leon blocks and fires right back! Mr. Dick tries again, but another block and another punch awaits him. Teeing off, Leon backs Mr. Dick up against the ropes and looks for the whip, only to get reversed. The World Champ hangs onto the top rope to stop himself from rebounding though, frustrating Mr. Dick into a wild charge and a drop toehold. COLE Are we going to see it this time? Doing THE JIG~!, Leon runs the ropes... and comes to an abrupt halt as Malaysia stands waiting to strike from the apron. COACH Don't even try to seduce your way outta this one pal. This is one Nerdly who ain't gonna fall for your charms! Leon doesn't need to do anything as it turns out. Running around the ring, Jade grabs a hold of Malaysia's ankle and drags her off the apron, causing her to faceplant off the arena floor!! The crowd erupt as Jade kneels down and starts wailing away at Malaysia with clubbing blows. Momentarily distracted by his niece's intense attack, Leon turns around to find Mr. Dick running his way. He ducks a clothesline and catches hold of Mr. Dick to deliver the Blue Thunder Bomb! COLE It's Da Boom! 1... 2... NO! Quickly up, Leon meets Mr. Dick on his way back up with a couple more right hands. An irish whip then sends Mr. Dick into the turnbuckles. Backing into the opposite corner Rodez raises a finger to the skies, charging in and soaring with the SUPERMAN SPEAR!! Mr. Dick's rockhard abs take the brunt and he staggers out of the corner winded, as Leon follows up off the ropes with the Shack Attack! Cover... 1... 2... NO!! Mr. Dick is reeling now and as he gets back up, Leon trips him and hooks the legs for the LIONTAMER! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE He's gonna put it on him! Will we see Mr. Dick submit here tonight? COACH Mr. Dick is many things, but submissive ain't one of them! Before he can get turned Mr. Dick scrambles backwards and grabs onto the bottom rope, forcing the break. On the outside, the tables are turned and Jade is splattered off the ringside mats thanks to Malaysia's legsweep. Malaysia then lies in wait, watching as her BIG squeeze pulls himself up on the ropes. Having been backed up, Leon passes the referee and goes to grab a hold on Mr. Dick... ...AND GETS PUNTED BETWEEN THE LEGS!! COLE COME ON! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The cheap disqualification doesn't go down well, as Mr. Dick pounces and puts the boots to Leon despite the bell having rung. COACH Another time, another Dicktim. It's like victim, only it's Mr. Dic... look, just enjoy, okay. Now it's out there it'll catch on in it's own time. Mr. Dick continues to stomp away, while Malaysia picks Jade back up and dumps her into the ring. Referee Chioda is powerless to help, especially after he's laid out by a DISCUS PUNCH! Leon is subjected to some more stomps, as Malaysia heads to the corner of the ring and grabs her cat o'nine tails. COLE Come on already! These two are animals, after all the damage they've done tonight what in the hell have they got planned now!? "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" We'll never find out, as before Malaysia can so much as get her whip uncracked out rush TYLER BRYANT and KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!! Krista dives in weilding the chair she was seen tied to earlier and jabs at Malaysia like a circus performer trying to keep a lion at bay. Unlike a lion, Malaysia has the good sense to leave the ring before getting one of her eyeballs jabbed out, no matter how kinky that might be. Tyler takes the fight to Mr. As Malaysia and Mr. Dick retreat, Tyler and Leon help Jade up, Krista leaning over the ropes and yelling "YOU DIDN'T FINISH ME OFF" to Malaysia, of which we can only speculate what she actually means. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here the referee's decision. He has awarded the match as a result of a disqualification to the team of JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and LEEEEOOOONN... RRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZ!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Muted celebrations are the order of the day as Leon, Jade, Tyler and Krista all glare at Mr. Dick and Malaysia from the ring. The power couple are far enough way to start making threats now and warn the foursome that they're in big trouble. COLE Thank goodness for Tyler and Krista! And thank goodness for whoever untied Krista in the first place! Mr. Dick and Malaysia continue to run roughshot across the OAOAST but they have bitten off way more than they could chew... COACH I dunno, Malaysia ca... COLE ...and I meant that figuratively, of course. Folks, we'll see you next week, where hopefully Mr. Dick and Malaysia will get what's coming to them! COACH Do you mean figuratively, or were you talking about them sucki... COLE GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! -FADE OUT- Edited December 12, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
