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Guest Agent of Oblivion

The 2009 NFL Offseason

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I'm a Broncos fan until Dawkins retires. No other player has ever had that effect on me. Of course, I'll still root for the Eagles, but when Denver comes to town, I want Dawk to have a huge game. It'll be a big fuck you to the Eagles management who think they always have it all figured out. Five NFC Championship Games must mean they're doing something right.... except they just lost a huge piece to that. McNabb isn't the leader he claims to be, and he never was.

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Chris Canty is a Giant, at $42 million over 6 years. At that kind of money, they're probably going to start him at DT, even if his build is more of pass-rusher than an interior run-stuffer. He'd definitely be one of the most athletic and agile DTs in the league in that role.

 

As good as Kiwanuka was at the end spot last year, it's probably time to get him back to LB as long as Tuck and Umeniyora are healthy.

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Dawkin's German is better than him getting run over and still getting an assist on the tackle in the gif war.

 

Also there's a person out there named Ziggy Hood? That's the best name ever.

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My subjective rankings for 2009 as of right now, regardless of the draft coming up.

 

1. Pittsburgh Steelers - They're returning just about everyone and the way the defense played last year, there isn't any reason to believe that they can't win it all again.

 

2. New York Giants - Don't know what happened to them in the playoffs. They suffered the same fate as Dallas did the previous year.

 

3. New England Patriots - Tom Brady is coming back, and even without him they manged to go 11-5 this past season. Let's not forget that they're only a year removed from 16-0 and being hailed as one of the best teams in the history of football.

 

4. Dallas Cowboys - We all know that they are as physically gifted as any team out there. The question is if they can use their talents to their full potential. They missed the playoffs, but I hope this season was a wake up call for them because they can be as good as anyone else. Their AFC opponents are the AFC West, which will be much better than playing the Steelers and Ravens. I expect them to go 3-1 against the AFC. They'll lose to the Broncos or Chargers, but I'd like to hope they can beat the Chiefs and Raiders.

 

5. Baltimore Ravens - Joe Flacco showed a lot of potential, but their defense is what wins them games. Bart Scott won't be missed too much.

 

6. Tennesee Titans - Albert Haynesworth wasn't the only reason this team was good. Look out for them to be contenders again.

 

7. Indianapolis Colts - Knocked out of the playoffs early, but as long as Peyton Manning is healthy, they have the potential to win every game they play.

 

8. San Diego Chargers - They really underachieved this past season, but still rallied late in the season to make a playoff run. Like Dallas, they have all the tools, they just need to use them properly. Merriman coming back will help out a lot.

 

9. Arizona Cardinals - I know that they almost won the Super Bowl, but I think it was the momentum and underdog role that really kept them hanging in there. We don't even know if Warner and Boldin will return to the team. With that said, they still play in one of the weaker divisions, so they'll probably be headed to the playoffs again, but I wouldn't expect another Super Bowl appearance.

 

10. Philadelphia Eagles - Don't know what to think about them. The Eagles can be a team that can dominate, or they can be a team that ties games with the Bengals. They have gone to 5 NFC Championship games under McNabb and Reed, so they definitely have shown that they have the talent and experience to contend for a Super Bowl, but they're getting older and other teams are looking to break through to the top tier of the NFL.

 

11. Atlanta Falcons - Showed a lot of promise this past year, but it's hard to stay consistent in the NFL. Especially when you have a young team like they do.

 

12. Minnesota Vikings - The defensive line and Adrian Peterson are enough to keep them a contender.

 

13. Carolina Panthers - Jake Delhome's tank might be on E. They'll be heavily reliant on the running attack.

 

14. Washington Redskins - Albert Haynesworth, okay great. What are you going to do about the other issues?

 

15. New Orleans Saints - The offense is one of the best in the NFL, even without a great running game. The defense is okay enough to keep them in games.

 

16. Miami Dolphins - Had a great turnaround season, but I can't picture them mirroring that same kind of success. Especially with Tom Brady coming back to kill them.

 

17. Houston Texans - Even with Sagecopter at QB, the team showed some promise. If Matt Schaub can stay healthy, then this team can suprise a lot of people.

 

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - These guys are odd. I mean, Jeff Garcia can still play, they have a good group of running backs and recievers, and a defense that can play lights out. They just couldn't find a way to win the games when they needed to. I was almost certain they were going to come into Texas Stadium and wax Dallas considering Brad Johnson was playing. They're a good team and have another recieving option in Kellen Winslow, but they do play in a tough division. Arguably the second best behind the NFC East.

 

19. Buffalo Bills - Started off great and then tanked. With Miami playing better and the Pats getting Brady back, the Bills will have to really play their asses off to have a shot.

 

20. Green Bay Packers - Aaron Rodgers has so far, filled the void of Brett Favre pretty well. They're definitely better than their record suggested.

 

21. Jacksonville Jaguars - Really underachieved this past year. Disappointed a lot of people with high hopes after a great 2007-2008.

 

22. Denver Broncos - In their division, anything can happen.

 

23. Chicago Bears - Offense needs a lot of help.

 

24. Kansas City Chiefs - Matt Cassel isn't going to solve everything

 

25. New York Jets - Without Favre, the Jets are in desperate need for a QB. Favre had a lot to do with them losing down the stretch, but also had a lot to do with them going 8-3. I'm sure this need will be adressed with the draft coming up.

 

26. Cincinatti Bengals - Carson Palmer will be coming back healthy, but the defense needs A LOT of help

 

27. San Francisco 49ers - They have Patrick Willis to build their defense around, they just need a QB to build the offense around. Fans in San Fran are waiting for the next great QB. It's been a long time since Montana, Rice and Steve Young.

 

28. Cleveland Browns - These guys are schizophrenic. They can't decide if they want to be good or bad. Mangini will do what he can and Brady Quinn will develop, but I don't think it's going to be their year.

 

29. Seattle Seahawks - Michael Crabtree or not, the Seahawks only have a few bright spots (Trufant, Tatupu)

 

30. St. Louis Rams - These guys don't look too bad on paper. Steven Jackson needs to stay healthy or they don't have a shot.

 

31. Oakland Raiders - Nnamdi Asomugha = the team

 

32. Detroit Lions - You're going to hell Matt Stafford, so bring your sunblock.

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Guest

That list is pretty much terrible. Now I'm going to have to make my own list. I'll do it later.

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Guest Czech please!

If they don't look bad on paper, which is all they can be judged by at this juncture, why are they the antepenultimate team on your list? Who you crappin'?

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If they don't look bad on paper, which is all they can be judged by at this juncture, why are they the antepenultimate team on your list? Who you crappin'?

 

Because when you see the players they have and what they've done, one might think that they can play better than they do.

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Guest Czech please!

Okay, well, if you feel that way, then they're better than 30th, aren't they? If they're not bad but ranked 30th, then only two teams in the entire NFL are bad, by your standards. If you're going to project that the Rams are going to be at the bottom of the league again--which I think they probably will be but with this stupid league who even knows--then you can't say "they're not bad, but they'll need Steven Jackson." Need Steven Jackson for what? To not be 31st?

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I think it's awful for three reasons:

 

1. It's a little silly to make power rankings before free agency ends and this far before the draft.

2. New England isn't number one. Brady's back full-strength, Fred Taylor adds a whole new dimension to the run game, and their defense is getting younger and more aggressive.

3.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - These guys are odd. I mean, Jeff Garcia can still play, they have a good group of running backs and recievers, and a defense that can play lights out. They just couldn't find a way to win the games when they needed to. I was almost certain they were going to come into Texas Stadium and wax Dallas considering Brad Johnson was playing. They're a good team and have another recieving option in Kellen Winslow, but they do play in a tough division. Arguably the second best behind the NFC East.

 

Garcia still hasn't signed.

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Power rankings for the NFL are a fruitless exercise almost any time of the year, but they are entirely meaningless in March. The overarching problem is the tendency to overrate good teams and underrate the bad. In reality there are only a handful of bad and good teams; the majority resides somewhere in the middle. There's a pack of roughly 20-25 teams that, as constituted, could win 7-9 games. The unbalanced schedule and short season causes certain teams to look different than their actual talent level should suggest. How you could differentiate Tampa Bay from Green Bay from Houston from Denver is beyond me. Why are we even critiquing this mess?

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I think it's awful for three reasons:

 

1. It's a little silly to make power rankings before free agency ends and this far before the draft.

2. New England isn't number one. Brady's back full-strength, Fred Taylor adds a whole new dimension to the run game, and their defense is getting younger and more aggressive.

3.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - These guys are odd. I mean, Jeff Garcia can still play, they have a good group of running backs and recievers, and a defense that can play lights out. They just couldn't find a way to win the games when they needed to. I was almost certain they were going to come into Texas Stadium and wax Dallas considering Brad Johnson was playing. They're a good team and have another recieving option in Kellen Winslow, but they do play in a tough division. Arguably the second best behind the NFC East.

 

Garcia still hasn't signed.

 

Well, if you think it's silly of me to have made this list, you probably shouldn't have typed reason number 2.

 

In response to Czech, if you're trying to say that I contradicted myself, a team can show promise but still underperform. The list may be awful to some of you, but unless you're an NFL insider or work for any of the teams, you basically have the same knowledge about the NFL that anyone else does. There isn't any reason why you're list will be less outrageous than mine. And if you think it's completely ridiculous to even put together a list, all I'm doing is predicting what I think will happen. I don't care if I'm wrong.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Also there's a person out there named Ziggy Hood? That's the best name ever.

 

Sure is. DT out of Missouri. I've seen him rated as high as an early 2nd to Seattle.

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Garcia will not re-sign with Tampa. He's done there.

 

And regardless of the actual merits of the list (and the fact that you have every team being in more or less the same spot as they were last year is laughable), it's totally pointless to put together any sort of "power ranking" in March. A hell of a lot is going to happen between now and opening weekend.

 

 

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Guest Agent of Oblivion
I could probably just put the teams in alphabetical order and be more accurate at the end of the year than most power rankings.

 

1. Bears.

 

Damn right.

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Garcia will not re-sign with Tampa. He's done there.

 

And regardless of the actual merits of the list (and the fact that you have every team being in more or less the same spot as they were last year is laughable), it's totally pointless to put together any sort of "power ranking" in March. A hell of a lot is going to happen between now and opening weekend.

 

This probably could have been solved by me not putting numbers next to the teams, but I get it, you and everyone else thinks this list is stupid. I don't care.

 

The laughable aspect of this is that you said I have every team in the same spot as last year. Everyone had Dallas, New England, and Green Bay at the top. No one would have put Miami in the teens and no one would have the Cardinals in the top 10.

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Actually alot of people would have had the Cards in the top ten since they were obviously the only team out of the NFC West that wasn't God awful, so by default they'd have been in that spot.

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