Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Art Sandusky

I'm enlisting in the Army.

Recommended Posts

I grew up in a military family, as you may or may not know. My dad, who is recently retired, loved it and really wanted all of his aimless middle-class kids to go in. I almost did, but elected not to. My brother ended up joining the Army, and did a few years in Iraq. He survived, and can now afford to do adult things like buy his wife a car and own a dog. Whereas I can't even afford to buy myself a car and am openly mocked by every dog I see. So take that for what you will.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see the Army as one of the things I could do after I finish my A-levels. Or now I suppose, but I'd rather get them out of the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two of my brothers were in the army.

 

One over dosed while in a military hospital. The other blew his brains out at the dinner table.

 

But yeah, I hear the pay is good and stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I grew up in a military family, as you may or may not know. My dad, who is recently retired, loved it and really wanted all of his aimless middle-class kids to go in. I almost did, but elected not to. My brother ended up joining the Army, and did a few years in Iraq. He survived, and can now afford to do adult things like buy his wife a car and own a dog. Whereas I can't even afford to buy myself a car and am openly mocked by every dog I see. So take that for what you will.

 

You're not going to like this then.

 

dog-driving-vintage-vehicle.jpg

 

This dog owns his own car. And has a wife AND girlfriend on the side. For shame.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the Chair Force, man. Shit. My dad was in for 25 years, and as far as I could tell all he did was answer phones and watch TV. Never got close to any sort of combat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This came about as a result of Barack Obama's election, really having nothing else to do and being up to my eyeballs in college debt. I would have done this back in September of 2001, but was in high school until 2002 and saw Iraq coming by the time I graduated. I wasn't about to entrust my life to an administration of madmen perverting the very things that made me want to join the military and protect the greatest country on the planet since I was a kid. Liberals can be patriotic too! Anyway.

 

I've been researching for the last few months, going over each branch (okay, I didn't check the Coast Guard) and its training/amenities/incentives and such. The Navy wants me bad, but nah. The Air Force declared me ineligible because of shitty credit (see above) and a simple possession of marijuana arrest in June of 2007. Marine Corps is what I'd do if I didn't have to take the financials into account to be honest, but a mandatory four years of active duty gives me pause.

 

I'll be signing up for two years, more like two and a half years taking basic training and AIT into account, but am still very very early in the enlistment process. I've made peace with the dangerous elements of the job since I realized I could die in a plain ol' car crash tomorrow. The first three weeks will be the worst, but after that I'll be fine since that's when I finally get a rifle in my hands. I'm excited to come back home that first time and show off the new me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The military can disqualify you based on bad credit? Goddamn. I couldn't tell you what my credit score is right now. It's whatever they give you when you have tons of debt and decide to stop paying your bills.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion

Patrick, I thought you had a fundamental problem with handling firearms.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I almost joined the Navy. Last thing I did was take their... I guess you could call it aptitude test, got the verbal BJ for scoring high... and that was it. I just never returned a call or anything. With them knowing my history and the way I party, they probably think I'm dead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

look at it this way: would you rather trust your life in the hands of people who are held to the highest physical and mental standards and have to fight their way to even get into that branch, go through the toughest basic training and have to be held to an even higher standard than that to become an officer, or would you rather trust someone who only joined for the 80k signing bonus?

 

just sayin'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yup. selected MOS/education levels apply, but yeah. that's what they were going to have me sign for when i was about to choose army. it kinda took a lot of soul searching to choose marines instead.

 

you have to keep in mind that the army is the largest service of our military, and therefore, has unbelievably large quotas they have to meet for recruitment. offering 80k in total bonuses helps them reach those quotas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The actual signing bonus in the Army is anywhere from zero to $8,000 depending on your MOS, assuming it's a "regular" one and nothing elite. The other figures they lump in to create those tens of thousands of advertised incentive dollars are represented through tuition assistance/GI Bill benefits, etc.

 

Patrick, I thought you had a fundamental problem with handling firearms.

I did until last March when my uncle let me fire his rife and .45 out in the woods. A lot of my issues with guns come from the area I've been raised in, where they're analagous with "goin' off to kill me some animals." I don't mind hunting terrorists.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×