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A challenge for BruiserBrody.

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I was sitting out front when I got home this afternoon, smoking a BUTT with my girl, and these two chicks who work at the bank up the street from us come walking by. Side-by-side. Average width sidewalk. One of them just looks down at me and goes "excuse me" and doesn't go around me. She would've tripped over me if I didn't pull my legs back onto the front walkway of my building rather than leave my feet planted flat on the sidewalk. What, bitch? I'm supposed to move for YOU? You're a cunt whose job consists of counting. My job consists of counting inventory, lifting heavy shit, operating a forklift, dealing with annoying customers, dealing with the idiots that run the place, and dealing with my (possibly mentally retarded) coworker. Fuck you, bitch: I was here first. You go around ME.

 

This one too.

 

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Guest Agent of Oblivion
I once banged this chick, Bobbi Jo, right? She was runnin at about 245-250, so I was cool with takin her out and showin her off to my friends and shit. Some of these chicks, I ain't too keen on lettin my buddies know that I'm doin 'em. I'll tell 'em that she's my cousin and I'm takin her to the hospital on account of her diabetes. I got, like, 20 hefty diabetic cousins, as far as they know. Anyway, Bobbi Jo wasn't like that. I was real proud to show her off. We done it a buncha times and I thought she was diggin it. It wasn't like no bedpost-shakin "Oh, Metal Ed! Oh, Metal Ed!" shit, but she seemed pretty responsive when I was layin it in. But one day, I was walkin through Wal-Mart, lookin for her on account of her workin there, and I'm seein all these Wal-Mart employees laughin at me and shit. I'm gettin pissed off, you know? I'm fixin to crack some skulls right there in the produce section when this big ol' dude with tattoos and shit grabs me by the shirt and says, "You Metal Ed?" I'm, like, "Yeah. What's it to ya?" He starts tellin me how Bobbi Jo is his woman and how she don't wanna see me no more. I didn't never see it comin, man. So I come to find out that Bobbi Jo had been tellin all these bitches at Wal-Mart about me bein no good in bed and, once her boyfriend got out of prison, she dumped me. So now I'm pissed as hell. I'm thinkin I'm gonna go over to the trailer park with my crowbar and crack some damn skulls. Ain't no one talk shit about my fuckin and get away with it, y'know? So I go over there and start breakin shit in her yard...like toys and shit. I tried to throw a tricycle but that bitch was heavy. Anyway, her boyfriend comes out and proceeds to whale on me. I mean, I couldn't do shit about it. He beat my ass. I ran outta there like a scalded dog. Everybody round Wassau was talkin about Metal Ed gettin his ass whooped and how I gone soft and shit. I had to bust up Mayor Cardot just to protect my reputation. That was some shameful shit.

 

Read that one drunk, in your underwear.

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It will get old for the viewers unless we have great quotes and I can broaden my horizons for Characters.

 

This one should give you plenty to work with

 

BUMP~!

 

I just realized I never followed up on this... sorry dudes. I also realize I forgot a couple... add Alana, Natasha & Nadia to that list. Anyway, a little bit more info like I promised (not that anyone cares, and unfortunately they're not sobbers like Jingus' or Sandman's):

 

* Daniela - Some of you have heard this story, it's probably my darkest deed and worst day. In 8th grade, I was obsessed (that's really the best way to put it, sadly) with this girl in all but one of my classes named Daniela. Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend (oh, and I was one of the most hideous people at the school, with huge glasses, dirty clothes, long hair, and a slithery rat-like appearance). So what did I do? I had "a talk" with her boyfriend, and told him that I cursed him for going out with the love of my life. As many possibly know, the only way to make a curse work is if the victim believes it. Sure enough, Carlos did, and he broke up with her. I tried many approaches, all of which failed, until Valentine's Day. Inspired by a practice during the Vietnam war of leaving a "calling card" of the suit of spades on a victim, I took face cards, all hearts, and wrote a series of poems on each one, leaving her one each period. As if that wasn't weird enough... well, one of the poems (the only one I still remember) openly referenced necrophilia (!), and she got freaked out and called the counselors on me. I was asked point-blank if I was a necrophiliac who was casting Satanic love spells. How do you answer that? Last I heard, she was a lesbian, and the joke is that it's because of me. I can't confirm that, unfortunately nobody's been able to give me a trustworthy denial of that either :(

 

* Yosenia is a unique case, where I actually hated her most of the time. She was, if you'll excuse my language, a bitch, and she treated me terribly in the few classes we had together, always yelling at me for no reason. However, unlike any other case where someone yells at me a lot and I tune them out, I began to become more and more attracted to Yosenia, until I guess you can say I had a full-blown crush. Yosenia was always rumored to be a "slut" (she always had a purse full of condoms and birth control pills), and during the end of the year (when I helped tutor her) I saw her in tears. Not didn't she graduate, but she was also pregnant. Well, that did it, and I really feel terrible for feeling this way, but ever since, I haven't been able to stop dreaming and "killing kittens" about meeting her and her still being this huge slut who's always pregnant and just wants to have sex with everyone. I feel terrible for degrading her so, but I guess I can't help it.

 

* Shoshi. Poor Shoshi... this one was my fault again. Things were actually going well, and we were going to see a movie, until I, being the idiot I am, not only called her too much, but felt compelled to relate my sexual dreams about her to her. Oy... such an idiot. She wouldn't speak to me, even when I returned her Garbage CD's and got her the new Foo Fighters CD for her birthday (The Colour and the Shape... shows how old this was, who would've thought a Foo Fighters album would be considered dating oneself?). This one has a happier ending though, because unlike the other cases, I actually got to make up with her a few years later, although I haven't talked to her since. I heard she went crazier (and also became a lesbian, or at least bi-sexual... what's up with me falling in love with lesbians?) from one of her former best friends.

 

So there you have it... all you guys who feel down from remembering your heartbreak from this topic, read about how much of a sicko and worse, a STUPID sicko I am and laugh. Women... even the living ones are skeletons in my closet.

 

 

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Do this one, Brody. I bet you want some wrestling content to work with.

 

Val's average at best. His matches are repetitive (most of them are almost exactly alike) and his offense is rather dull aside from a few decent moves like the Blue Thunder.

This pisses me off more than a message forum has ever pissed me off before. Even though it's just text from someone that I will never meet, it pisses me off. Not just because I'm a Morley mark, but because people are so dimwitted they have to always use the same excuses for everything.

 

His matches are repetitive? Fuck you. Alright. Just straight fuck you. This is the WWE. EVERY match is repetitive. Every fucking one. That's what happens when you only get four minutes to work. I think, no fuck that, I KNOW Val is the best wrestler on RAW. Yeah, that's right. Better than Jericho, better than RVD & better than Lance Storm. You can call me crazy all you want, but I know what I have seen. Morley always...ALWAYS entertains me. On the stick, in the ring, everywhere. He should be a main eventer by now. Especially after having to go through all the "Val Venis" bullshit.

 

He is WAY above average in the wrestling department. "Average at best?" Fucking please. Rodney Mack is average at best. Test is average at best. Morley is better than half the roster (including Smackdown). Average at best means that when he has his best nights, it's only average. Or, it could mean if you added up all of his matches and rated them on quality, then divided by the number of matches you would end up with a number that was "average" based on a scale that would have to be made up as well. Fuck that. Did you even think before you typed that?

 

His offense is rather dull aside from a few moves like the Blue Thunder? Why's that? Because not every single move he uses is exclusive to him? I beg to differ. He executes all of his moves well. He has a great finisher. The 'Money Shot' is highly underrated. Everytime I see it I just have flashbacks to Jimmy Snuka days. Just because he doesn't do twenty moonsaults and six corkscrews before hitting a body splash doesn't mean that it can't still be impressive.

 

I swear, it's like people have selective viewing habits. If you don't think Morley is talented, you shouldn't be allowed to form an opinion about wrestling on a wrestling forum. The same people that preach about Chris Jericho, Booker T. & The Hurricane had better damn well see something in Morley.

 

Now I'm bitter. I can't believe that someone would go out of their way to call Morley average. I've never even seen Morley botch a spot! Remember his feud with D-Lo way back when for the IC title? Yeah, he was even good back then. I've also never heard about Morley being hard to work with or causing problems backstage. In fact, whenever I do read something about him, it's usually just something like him going to another wrestlers wedding. That just shows that he's a nice guy with a lot of friends. I guess we all know where nice guys finish.

 

I just think it's a case of the good old TSM double standard again. I have no doubt in my mind that if people talked about Morley as much as they talk about some other 'Smark Darlings" everyone would act like they liked him. Why? Because this place is full of fucking sheep. Just a bunch of damn bandwagon jumpers. It makes me sick. It's like everyone just tries to fit in. Everyone likes the same five wrestlers...and I know that they are talented, but I guarantee half of the people that act like they like Guerrero or Jericho only say that to try and fit in here. The reasoning is because they don't want to be "ran off" for having a different opinion. Don't act like it wouldn't happen either, because it's happened in the past.

 

It's not just a difference of opinion either. You might not like Morley as much as me, that's fine. You might think other wrestlers are better than him, that's fine too. Those are opinions, I'll admit that. Saying the man is not talented or is average is not an opinion. Not to me. To me it's false information. It's bullshit. He obviously has talent. OBVIOUSLY. If you can't see that, quit watching wrestling because you wouldn't know talent it it took you out into the middle of the street and blew your brains out.

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BUMP~!

 

I just realized I never followed up on this... sorry dudes. I also realize I forgot a couple... add Alana, Natasha & Nadia to that list. Anyway, a little bit more info like I promised (not that anyone cares, and unfortunately they're not sobbers like Jingus' or Sandman's):

 

* Daniela - Some of you have heard this story, it's probably my darkest deed and worst day. In 8th grade, I was obsessed (that's really the best way to put it, sadly) with this girl in all but one of my classes named Daniela. Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend (oh, and I was one of the most hideous people at the school, with huge glasses, dirty clothes, long hair, and a slithery rat-like appearance). So what did I do? I had "a talk" with her boyfriend, and told him that I cursed him for going out with the love of my life. As many possibly know, the only way to make a curse work is if the victim believes it. Sure enough, Carlos did, and he broke up with her. I tried many approaches, all of which failed, until Valentine's Day. Inspired by a practice during the Vietnam war of leaving a "calling card" of the suit of spades on a victim, I took face cards, all hearts, and wrote a series of poems on each one, leaving her one each period. As if that wasn't weird enough... well, one of the poems (the only one I still remember) openly referenced necrophilia (!), and she got freaked out and called the counselors on me. I was asked point-blank if I was a necrophiliac who was casting Satanic love spells. How do you answer that? Last I heard, she was a lesbian, and the joke is that it's because of me. I can't confirm that, unfortunately nobody's been able to give me a trustworthy denial of that either

 

 

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Do this one, Brody. I bet you want some wrestling content to work with.

 

Val's average at best. His matches are repetitive (most of them are almost exactly alike) and his offense is rather dull aside from a few decent moves like the Blue Thunder.

This pisses me off more than a message forum has ever pissed me off before. Even though it's just text from someone that I will never meet, it pisses me off. Not just because I'm a Morley mark, but because people are so dimwitted they have to always use the same excuses for everything.

 

His matches are repetitive? Fuck you. Alright. Just straight fuck you. This is the WWE. EVERY match is repetitive. Every fucking one. That's what happens when you only get four minutes to work. I think, no fuck that, I KNOW Val is the best wrestler on RAW. Yeah, that's right. Better than Jericho, better than RVD & better than Lance Storm. You can call me crazy all you want, but I know what I have seen. Morley always...ALWAYS entertains me. On the stick, in the ring, everywhere. He should be a main eventer by now. Especially after having to go through all the "Val Venis" bullshit.

 

He is WAY above average in the wrestling department. "Average at best?" Fucking please. Rodney Mack is average at best. Test is average at best. Morley is better than half the roster (including Smackdown). Average at best means that when he has his best nights, it's only average. Or, it could mean if you added up all of his matches and rated them on quality, then divided by the number of matches you would end up with a number that was "average" based on a scale that would have to be made up as well. Fuck that. Did you even think before you typed that?

 

His offense is rather dull aside from a few moves like the Blue Thunder? Why's that? Because not every single move he uses is exclusive to him? I beg to differ. He executes all of his moves well. He has a great finisher. The 'Money Shot' is highly underrated. Everytime I see it I just have flashbacks to Jimmy Snuka days. Just because he doesn't do twenty moonsaults and six corkscrews before hitting a body splash doesn't mean that it can't still be impressive.

 

I swear, it's like people have selective viewing habits. If you don't think Morley is talented, you shouldn't be allowed to form an opinion about wrestling on a wrestling forum. The same people that preach about Chris Jericho, Booker T. & The Hurricane had better damn well see something in Morley.

 

Now I'm bitter. I can't believe that someone would go out of their way to call Morley average. I've never even seen Morley botch a spot! Remember his feud with D-Lo way back when for the IC title? Yeah, he was even good back then. I've also never heard about Morley being hard to work with or causing problems backstage. In fact, whenever I do read something about him, it's usually just something like him going to another wrestlers wedding. That just shows that he's a nice guy with a lot of friends. I guess we all know where nice guys finish.

 

I just think it's a case of the good old TSM double standard again. I have no doubt in my mind that if people talked about Morley as much as they talk about some other 'Smark Darlings" everyone would act like they liked him. Why? Because this place is full of fucking sheep. Just a bunch of damn bandwagon jumpers. It makes me sick. It's like everyone just tries to fit in. Everyone likes the same five wrestlers...and I know that they are talented, but I guarantee half of the people that act like they like Guerrero or Jericho only say that to try and fit in here. The reasoning is because they don't want to be "ran off" for having a different opinion. Don't act like it wouldn't happen either, because it's happened in the past.

 

It's not just a difference of opinion either. You might not like Morley as much as me, that's fine. You might think other wrestlers are better than him, that's fine too. Those are opinions, I'll admit that. Saying the man is not talented or is average is not an opinion. Not to me. To me it's false information. It's bullshit. He obviously has talent. OBVIOUSLY. If you can't see that, quit watching wrestling because you wouldn't know talent it it took you out into the middle of the street and blew your brains out.

 

I request an angry, conflicted Brody outside for this one

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I once banged this chick, Bobbi Jo, right? She was runnin at about 245-250, so I was cool with takin her out and showin her off to my friends and shit. Some of these chicks, I ain't too keen on lettin my buddies know that I'm doin 'em. I'll tell 'em that she's my cousin and I'm takin her to the hospital on account of her diabetes. I got, like, 20 hefty diabetic cousins, as far as they know. Anyway, Bobbi Jo wasn't like that. I was real proud to show her off. We done it a buncha times and I thought she was diggin it. It wasn't like no bedpost-shakin "Oh, Metal Ed! Oh, Metal Ed!" shit, but she seemed pretty responsive when I was layin it in. But one day, I was walkin through Wal-Mart, lookin for her on account of her workin there, and I'm seein all these Wal-Mart employees laughin at me and shit. I'm gettin pissed off, you know? I'm fixin to crack some skulls right there in the produce section when this big ol' dude with tattoos and shit grabs me by the shirt and says, "You Metal Ed?" I'm, like, "Yeah. What's it to ya?" He starts tellin me how Bobbi Jo is his woman and how she don't wanna see me no more. I didn't never see it comin, man. So I come to find out that Bobbi Jo had been tellin all these bitches at Wal-Mart about me bein no good in bed and, once her boyfriend got out of prison, she dumped me. So now I'm pissed as hell. I'm thinkin I'm gonna go over to the trailer park with my crowbar and crack some damn skulls. Ain't no one talk shit about my fuckin and get away with it, y'know? So I go over there and start breakin shit in her yard...like toys and shit. I tried to throw a tricycle but that bitch was heavy. Anyway, her boyfriend comes out and proceeds to whale on me. I mean, I couldn't do shit about it. He beat my ass. I ran outta there like a scalded dog. Everybody round Wassau was talkin about Metal Ed gettin his ass whooped and how I gone soft and shit. I had to bust up Mayor Cardot just to protect my reputation. That was some shameful shit.

 

Read that one drunk, in your underwear.

 

 

 

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Please do the Venis rant soon. It would be nice if you had his theme music playing in the background while reading it.

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Guest Vitamin X

 

 

Oh god, the Wisconsin accent, it's so grand and amazing. Bobbi Yoooooo

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Do this one, Brody. I bet you want some wrestling content to work with.

 

Val's average at best. His matches are repetitive (most of them are almost exactly alike) and his offense is rather dull aside from a few decent moves like the Blue Thunder.

This pisses me off more than a message forum has ever pissed me off before. Even though it's just text from someone that I will never meet, it pisses me off. Not just because I'm a Morley mark, but because people are so dimwitted they have to always use the same excuses for everything.

 

His matches are repetitive? Fuck you. Alright. Just straight fuck you. This is the WWE. EVERY match is repetitive. Every fucking one. That's what happens when you only get four minutes to work. I think, no fuck that, I KNOW Val is the best wrestler on RAW. Yeah, that's right. Better than Jericho, better than RVD & better than Lance Storm. You can call me crazy all you want, but I know what I have seen. Morley always...ALWAYS entertains me. On the stick, in the ring, everywhere. He should be a main eventer by now. Especially after having to go through all the "Val Venis" bullshit.

 

He is WAY above average in the wrestling department. "Average at best?" Fucking please. Rodney Mack is average at best. Test is average at best. Morley is better than half the roster (including Smackdown). Average at best means that when he has his best nights, it's only average. Or, it could mean if you added up all of his matches and rated them on quality, then divided by the number of matches you would end up with a number that was "average" based on a scale that would have to be made up as well. Fuck that. Did you even think before you typed that?

 

His offense is rather dull aside from a few moves like the Blue Thunder? Why's that? Because not every single move he uses is exclusive to him? I beg to differ. He executes all of his moves well. He has a great finisher. The 'Money Shot' is highly underrated. Everytime I see it I just have flashbacks to Jimmy Snuka days. Just because he doesn't do twenty moonsaults and six corkscrews before hitting a body splash doesn't mean that it can't still be impressive.

 

I swear, it's like people have selective viewing habits. If you don't think Morley is talented, you shouldn't be allowed to form an opinion about wrestling on a wrestling forum. The same people that preach about Chris Jericho, Booker T. & The Hurricane had better damn well see something in Morley.

 

Now I'm bitter. I can't believe that someone would go out of their way to call Morley average. I've never even seen Morley botch a spot! Remember his feud with D-Lo way back when for the IC title? Yeah, he was even good back then. I've also never heard about Morley being hard to work with or causing problems backstage. In fact, whenever I do read something about him, it's usually just something like him going to another wrestlers wedding. That just shows that he's a nice guy with a lot of friends. I guess we all know where nice guys finish.

 

I just think it's a case of the good old TSM double standard again. I have no doubt in my mind that if people talked about Morley as much as they talk about some other 'Smark Darlings" everyone would act like they liked him. Why? Because this place is full of fucking sheep. Just a bunch of damn bandwagon jumpers. It makes me sick. It's like everyone just tries to fit in. Everyone likes the same five wrestlers...and I know that they are talented, but I guarantee half of the people that act like they like Guerrero or Jericho only say that to try and fit in here. The reasoning is because they don't want to be "ran off" for having a different opinion. Don't act like it wouldn't happen either, because it's happened in the past.

 

It's not just a difference of opinion either. You might not like Morley as much as me, that's fine. You might think other wrestlers are better than him, that's fine too. Those are opinions, I'll admit that. Saying the man is not talented or is average is not an opinion. Not to me. To me it's false information. It's bullshit. He obviously has talent. OBVIOUSLY. If you can't see that, quit watching wrestling because you wouldn't know talent it it took you out into the middle of the street and blew your brains out.

 

I request an angry, conflicted Brody outside for this one

 

 

 

 

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Man I can't wait until the regular YouTube userbase comes across these videos. The comments that come through should be pretty funny.

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I've lived in and around the city of Waterbury, Connecticut my entire life, and for the past 5 years, I've worked there as well. While my mother often speaks of a time when things were good in the city, for as long as I've ever known it, it's been a complete and utter shithole, now more then ever. While just randomly walking around the mall I work in while trying to kill time while on break today, I've noticed that not only have things in this city, or any city for that matter, not improved, they're actually getting worse. What do I see just walking around the mall for 15 minutes? I see kids as young as six just loitering, attempting to come up with elaborate schemes to distract the employees at EB while they pocket Yu-Gi-Oh cards. I see girls as young as eight openly groping their boyfriends that are five, ten, or sometimes even more years older then they are. I see children, teenagers, and adults with no clue at all how to properly behave in a public situation, and not only do they not know how to behave, but they give birth to obnoxious children that grow up to be even worse then the parents. I see girls as young as 12 who are pregnant, I see 18 year old girls that already have a child and are pregnant with a second or a third, with no clue who the father of any of them might be. I see people that can't even put together a grammatically correct sentence in English OR Spanish. I see parents that need their children to speak English for them because they're not capable of doing so themself. I see teenagers that couldn't even name one fuckin song by the Beatles, but can name every track off the latest Daddy Yankee or My Chemical Romance album.

 

Is this truely what we have come to as a society? Will we come to a point where one day Americas urban cities have no majority race, no definitive language, and no definitive culture? Has anyone even considerd the consequences of the generations of families that are giving birth to children at 14, with people becoming Grandparents in their Early-30's? Does anyone have any sort of guess as to what led society down such a rotting cesspool where Basketball Players and Football Players make millions a year but can't read or write, or where people on Welfare can go to the meat market on the first of the month and buy Filet Mignon and Prime Rib for themselves and their seventeen children, while I can barely afford a couple hamburger patties? People worry about possibly dying in a nuclear haulocaust twenty years from now, but I worry about being stabbed to death in the parking lot of the mall tomorrow by some guy who wants to steal my wallet and the six dollars I might have in there at any given time. Why does the city continue to build beautiful section 8 housing which will be destroyed in less then a year, while I can't afford 700 dollars a month to rent a two room apartment? What happened that forced the hard working people in this country to work even harder to make ends meet, while the idiots who aren't even capable of tying their own shoe get to sit at home and watch Maury all afternoon?

 

 

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That post always perplexed me. 8-year-old girls dating 18-year-old guys? That doesn't happen outside of the Middle East.

 

Anyway, the ultimate in TSM rants:

 

Okay.

 

I'm tired of this thread, which says a lot because I wasn't actually involved in this banning.

 

You people need to fucking grow up and get on with your lives. An e-personality was restricted access from a message board that you have no power on, and you're throwing a shit fit, for some reason. This is sad for a lot of reasons, and all you really have to do, you putrid piles of shit, is look in the mirror to figure them out.

 

Couple things.

 

1.) Kotz was not made a mod as a joke, and if he was, he would have been cut when I cut the majority of the useless mod staff. He was kept on because he does a good job, and if you think for one minute that he doesn't, you're a fucking idiot who's probably illiterate.

 

2.) On the subject of illiteracy... Kotz didn't ban Mike. HTQ did. So, the whole "THE MOD AS A JOKE IS THROWING POWER AROUND" schtick doesn't really work here, and you need to shut the fuck up.

 

3.) The cost of the most recent server upgrade and maintenance exceeds your weekly allowance (I believe the hardware upgrades were in the range of $1,000 to $2,000, and a monthly cost of $100), and thus when it comes to the decision making, you have no say when we want you to have no say. Period. Deal with it. Feel lucky that this thread actually got to last 15 of the most painstakingly awful pages I have ever seen in my history as part of this message board, and that includes a great deal of posts from a great deal of idiots.

 

4.) MikeSC was a cancer to this board, and if you don't think so, you probably need to be slapped in the fucking face with a taste of reality, because you're so deluded that common sense is the most foreign concept you've ever experienced. Never, ever in my entire history of modding messageboards have I seen one person cause so much strife and bullshit and get away with it.

 

5.) Quit crying for Dr. Tom. He's not going to bring your "BRINGER OF THOUGHT" back because he doesn't give a shit. I'm sorry to have to break it to you that way, but that's that reality thing again. I'm afraid you are all going to have to exist on your own, without Mike feeding you every conservative thought imaginable. You'll live, I'm sure, you crazy impressionable youngsters you.

 

Finally, get the fuck over it. You are all above the age of 12, I hope, so this is not the nefarious mindcrime you would have everyone believe it is. You will all go on your merry way, and this stupid bullshit will blow over like it always does, so quit your fucking crying and go outside or something. Oh by the way... Just to throw some food for thought. INXS was also banned, but oddly enough... that got ignored. Surprise.

 

I'm going to lock this thread now, because it offends the hell out of me, and proves everyone who's ever said anything bad about TSM right, because of how stupid you all are acting.

 

If you've got a problem with that, I honestly don't give a fuck.

 

Get a fucking grip, you pieces of shit.

 

-Josh

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