Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2009 Tony if you could put this anywhere after MD's interview I would be ever so thankful! Backstage in the referee’s dressing room, Krista is modeling off the latest in officiating fashion to a stunned Clem Buzzlefoxer. KRISTA Top, Dolce & Gabbana. Shorts, Prada. Sunglasses, Marc Jacobs. Lace shawl, Valentino. Handbag, Fendi. Peep toe platform wedges? CLEM Salvation Army? KRISTA No, honey, Louis Boutin. Total cost of referee outfit a shrewd bargain at ten thousand dollars. Clem, honey, the old polo shirt and black pants look was fine before the war between the states- CLEM That was a good time! KRISTA But with the recent induction of Hawaii as the 50th state in the union its time to move on in the ever expanding fashion world. CLEM How am I too afford all this, lassy? KRISTA Honey, use your social security check of course. What were you planning on using it for? Unimportant things like rent, electricity, food, and water? Does food and shelter satisfy you the way a platform sandal from Pucci can? I think not. Interrupting Krista’s fashion class, the decidedly unfashionable Terry Taylor risks humiliation and beatings for an interview TERRY Krista, a word. KRISTA Asshole! Moron! Fool! Idiot! There you are, four words, don’t say I never do anything nice for you. And here’s a bonus… [b]SMAAAAACK! [/b] TERRY I know you hit because that’s the only way you know how to show your undying love for me. Actually I’d like to talk to you about your position as guest referee in the match between Mister Dick and former world champion PRL. Can you be trusted to call the match down the middle? KRISTA Oh, honey, that is a silly question. I’ve cheated my way through middle school, I regularly cheat on my taxes, I cheat to beat Jade at Monopoly so she doesn’t get a big ego, I’ve cheated on 95% of the girlfriends I’ve ever had, and with that upstanding record of citizenery I don’t see why you’d think I’d be bias in any way! Could it be because Mister Dick has given me a concussion, had his girlfriend sexually assault me, insulted both of my daughters, attempted to steal my money in the bank contract, ruined my chance to become world champion, denied my greatest joy of all which crushing Leon Rodez’ hopes for a better tomorrow, and threatened to destroy my family? Terry, darling, I am going to try my hardest to be good, kind referee, but if Mister Dick steps even a centimeter over the line, I will punt his ass out of this earth. I will kick him into Juptier’s orbit and call NASA so they can monitor the affect his glitter cowboy hat has on planetary super storms. TERRY But what about the challenge he made earlier tonight to your father? Your dad is a US Congressman but he loves you very much, do you think he’ll take the challenge? KRISTA Oh, honey, of course he won’t! We’re Jews. We don’t do that sort of thing. We leave it to the blacks and the Muslims. When he said he’d bring a day of reckoning to Mister Dick he meant he’d write an arthouse dramatic comedy that goes over the heads of anyone who didn’t graduate with a 3.0 or above from a liberal arts school. He won’t take a fight against Mister Dick, he’ll leave that to his little girl. At least I hope he will… TERRY And finally, what about your ongoing feud with Lindsay Lohan. She’s still upset that you didn’t invite her to the 300th HeldDOWN where you competed for the world title against Leon Rodez. She’s been slamming you in the press, and I’m wondering if you’d like to respond. KRISTA Condescending Krista goes off, diplomatic Krista comes on. We release negativity and we embrace the positive. My not inviting Lindsay to the 300th HD wasn’t a snub or anything of that nature. I just simply had other friends who I thought might enjoy the evening more, so naturally I had to invite them. Friends like Bella Lugosi, Ava Gardner, Jumbo, Mighty Mouse… TERRY Two of those people are dead, one already works here and the other is a fictional character from the 1950’s. KRISTA You know what? You’re a fictional character from the 1950’s, and no that doesn’t make sense, but you know what else doesn’t make sense why your mother didn’t abort you! TERRY Krista, can’t you just admit you forgot to invite her? KRISTA No, Terry, no I can not because that admits fault. And when you admit fault you start admitting other things like maybe its not a good idea to force the maids to fight each other in the for their weekly loaf of bread. Fine, honey, I’ll admit, I forgot to invite her. Lindsay, I apologize. There was so much to do in the weeks leading up to the event, I had so many things to do, such as telling so many people to do the things that I have to do that I just plum forgot to tell someone to invite you. It wasn’t because I hate or I don't like you. No, its nothing like that. I know how big a fan of mine you are and I consider you a good friend. But you’ve never expressed any interest in the OAOAST before besides wondering why some family in Canada had 12 kids and sent them all to work at the same miserable wrestling company. I guess I just figured you wanted to keep your sanity and stay away from this den of utter insanity. I don’t want to feud with you. Oprah says we bitches gotta stick together like nutted on draws, not in those words but that’s the basic gist I suppose, I got the episode summary from Alix. So, lets bury this hatchet or use it to remove several of Terry’s limbs. But let’s not fight anymore because I want to still be your friend. Okay? I apologize. [img=http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks-03-june.gif] [img=http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks-07-june.gif] [img=http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks-09-june.gif] COLE History made on this fine day. Krista has actually apologized for hurting someone's feelings! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
