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Agent of Oblivion

The Agent of Oblivion question of the day

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Hiss/roar at her. It works when my cats give me shit. I doubt I'll have one of my squirt bottles nearby, although the living room bottle may be on the end table next to the front door.

 

And if it's a male lion, then I wouldn't care. Males are lazy.

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Grab the bicycles that hang inside the front door and hurl them in its path, hoping to trip it up and send it crashing into the very close wall behind said door. That might give me enough time to grab the machete that's sitting nearby just inside the kitchen (seriously, after a roommate was playing "slice fruit in midair" last night upon returning home from St. Patrick's Day). I'd take a few wild swings with that, then use the close quarters of the stairwell to my advantage. If I can get to the second floor landing, there's all kinds of blunt objects I can try to use and bookshelves I can throw down to get in its way. My other option is to fall back to the back of the house instead of going upstairs and using the stack of bricks at the foot of the back steps as projectiles. I wouldn't expect to survive the encounter, but I'll be damned if that fucker doesn't remember how hard it was to kill a human.

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