Va'aiga vs Alexander

[Rawknight 0]

The opening refrain of “All Mighty Boo-Yaa” by the Boo-Yaa TRIBE sounds out around the Mandalay Bay Events Center. Va'aiga strides out into the arena and warms up for the crowd, throwing the Boo-Yah Combination as the opening chorus hits...

 

WEST COAST LUV!

PLAY Y'ALL HUH!

COMIN' THRU YA!

BOO-YAA!

 

And on the BOO-YAA from the Samoan rappers comes the throw of the Shaka Sign, a loud shout of “BOO-YAH!” from both The Maori Badass and the crowd and the throwing back of the hood of Va'aiga's entrance robe, all in perfect time with an enormous explosion of pyrotechnics. Funyon lifts the mic up to his lips and introduces the Maori competitor in this match,

 

“Introducing first, fighting out of Rotorua, New Zealand by way of Sunnyvale, California, he stands six foot eight inches tall and weighs in tonight at three hundred and fifty pounds, “The Maori Badass”, VAAAAAAAAA'AAAAAAINNNNNNNGAAAAA!”

 

Stepping between the ring ropes, Va'aiga throws his entrance robe out to an attendant and leans against a corner, keeping his eyes on the entrance ramp. The riotous cheers for The Maori Badass die down a little as his opponent for tonight's entrance music is cued up, it's start signalled by the tolling of the bell and the heavy bass intro of Cliff Burton. Funyon again has his microphone ready,

 

“And his opponent, he weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty one pounds and fights out of Greenville, South Carolina. He is The Evil Genius, The Eidolon Of Excellence and The Mad Scientist Of The Mat, MIIIIIIICHAEEEEEL ALEEEEEXAAAAAAAAAAAANDERRRRRRR!”

 

As Alexander enters the ring, totally focussed on his massive Maori opponent, the chorus hits,

 

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS!

TIME MARCHES ON!

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS!

 

Referee Nick Soapdish checks over both men for foreign objects, finding none on either man and the two main-eventers from Genesis square off in the middle of the ring. Mak Francis is the first to speak on commentary following the introductions and pre-match formalities.

 

“So King, we have a rematch from Genesis, a match which Va'aiga won. How do you see this encounter going.”

 

“Well Mak,” replies The Suicide King, “You have the classic technique versus power match-up. Alexander is one of the best wrestlers I've ever seen on the mat and if he can keep The Maori grounded, he'll win the match with ease.”

 

“You can never underestimate how much damage Va'aiga can cause.”

 

“If you let him, Francis. And Michael Alexander is not in the habit of letting his opponent do what he wants to do.”

 

Throwing a couple of loose jabs to check his range, Va'aiga forces Alexander to keep his distance to start the match, showing that it would be foolish for the Mad Scientist to get too close without some form of a plan. Fortunately Alexander DOES have a plan and as he hops in to make Va'aiga throw, he hops out again, grabbing hold of The Maori's wrist. Alexander twists Va'aiga round into a top wristlock, then switches up and grabs a side headlock, latching on tight to The Maori's thick neck. Instinctively Va'aiga shoots off Alexander, sending The Mad Scientist into the ropes. On Alexander's return, Va'aiga shapes his body and drives a shoulder into Alexander's chest, sending the Eidolon of Excellence down to the mat. The Maori makes the throat slash motion and calls out to the crowd, “KIA MATĒ!” and drops down over the fallen Alexander, attempting to lock his arms around Alexander's shoulder and put pressure on The Mad Sceintist's throat...

 

“Is Va'aiga attempting an Arm Triangle, King?”

 

...but Alexander, the much superior technical athlete, is not about to let Va'aiga get even close to a submission, especially not this early in a match. Clasping his arms together to prevent Va'aiga from locking the hold in, Alexander calmly sweeps at Va'aiga's legs, landing the Maori flat on the mat next to him and then rolls away and takes a vertical base first, dusting himself off.

 

“If you are going to try to bust out something you learned by watching UFC, Michael Alexander is not the first opponent you want to try it on. He's in a class all by himself technically.”

 

Snorting derisively as he stands, Va'aiga stares down Michael Alexander with evil intent. Alexander looks to grab at the wrist of Va'aiga again, but this time the Maori closes the distance faster than The Mad Scientist expects and drives his forearm into Alexander's face. Stunned by this, Michael Alexander takes a few false steps backwards, allowing Va'aiga to pounce and take Alexander down with a Rugby Tackle! Va'aiga follows up by hammering away at The Mad Scientist's face with more forearms from the mount, but Alexander put a quick end to that, applying the rubber guard, holding Va'aiga down so he can't get the distance to fire off any more strikes. Alexander moves his legs up The Maori's body, looking maybe for a triangle choke but as Va'aiga starts to haul Alexander off the mat to counter into a powerbomb, Alexander releases the hold and rolls away, standing again.

 

“Always smart to any danger, Michael Alexander. He could see The Maori was looking to bomb him out of that hold, so he relinquished it himself to avoid any excess impact.”

 

“Michael Alexander is certainly one of the greatest technical wrestlers ever seen in the SWF, that's for sure King.”

 

“You could mention him in the same breath as a Tom Flesher. And that's high praise indeed.”

 

Charging in full tilt, Va'aiga drops his shoulder again and despite Alexander attempting to spin to a side and take an arm, Va'aiga's power drives straight through any defence The Mad Scientist can put up and his massive shoulder connects with Alexander's chest again, making The Evil Genius hop backwards. Grabbing for a flailing arm, Va'aiga hurls Alexander towards a corner, stunning him. Va'aiga points to Alexander before rushing in, raising his boot to head height and connecting flush with his Yakuza Kick. Alexander staggers out of the corner, only to be rocked by a left jab to the jaw, which the crowd correctly calls as, “ONE!”

 

“Boo-Yah combination coming up!”

 

A second left jab visibly stings Michael Alexander and causes the crowd to call, “TWO!” A third rapid fire punch earns the shout of “THREE!” and leads to Alexander looking like he is temporarily on dream street as Va'aiga kisses his right fist and lines up the killer shot. The general noise builds around the arena as Va'aiga winds up and uncorks that vicious right hook, dropping Alexander to the canvas. Every Va'aiga fan in the arena, those people who he calls the World Whanau raises their arm into the sky with Va'aiga as The Maori throws the Shaka Sign and everyone together shouts....

 

“BOO-YAH!”

 

Va'aiga drops and covers, and Nick Soapdish is in prime position to count,

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

T... and Alexander easily kicks out.

 

“Away from Alexander's home town, the crowd seem solidly behind The Maori Badass, King.”

 

“The fans didn't help Alexander at Genesis, and they won't help Va'aiga tonight, Francis. You've got to do it by yourself, inside that squared circle.”

 

Slightly annoyed by not picking up the victory right there and then, Va'aiga picks up Alexander and quickly stuns the Mad Scientist again with an inverted atomic drop. Alexander isn't going anywhere as Va'aiga crashes against the ropes and rebounds into a hard running knee strike that floors The Mad Scientist. Continuining his momentum, Va'aiga bounces again off the far ropes and as he runs back across the ring, Va'aiga drops his head right into Alexander's breadbasket, causing Alexander to exhale sharply as he connects. Va'aiga again goes for the pin, hooking a leg...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TH.. and Alexander again kicks out with some ease.

 

“It's still to early to put the resilient Alexander away.”

 

“The sticking power of The Mad Scientist is often overlooked, Francis. He's tougher than you expect for someone of cruiserweight size.”

 

Opting merely to stand and stomp away at Alexander's chest for now, Va'aiga plots his next big move carefully. Sitting up slowly, Alexander's eyes dart around to lok for where The Maori Badass is standing but Va'aiga has already moved around behind The Mad Scientist. Va'aiga bends forward and wraps in a Full Nelson on the seated Eidolon of Excellence. Alexander has just enough time to shake his head violently and offer a shouted “NO!” as in one motion Va'aiga lifts Alexander up and over his head, Alexander's body arcing through the air in a graceful 270 degree arc before landing with a thud on the mat behind where The Maori ends up. Va'aiga stands, flexes his massive arm muscles for the crowd, throws the Shaka Sign and gets another resounding chorus of “BOO-YAH!” from the crowd.

 

“Look at the power of the Maori Badass! That was a feat of pure strength.”

 

“Va'aiga is one of the most powerful wrestlers in the locker room. But I don't see him using that on Bruner.”

 

“You always have to have a down note, King.”

 

With his attention turning away from the crowd and back to his opponent, Va'aiga moves over to the prone Alexander, picking him up and readying him for a back suplex. A call of “MAORIBOMB!” to the crowd signals Va'aiga's true intentions but before Va'aiga can switch the motion of the move and drive Alexander down to the mat, The Mad Scientist slips out and lands behind The Maori. Alexander clutches his ribs and winces, but thinking sharply he drops down and viciously clips the knee of The Maori Badass, dropping Va'aiga down to a knee instantly. Alexander grabs for the ribs again but with a look of sheer determination on his face he quickly concentrates all his efforts on the Maori, grabbing Va'aiga's head, taking him down with a shortened DDT and then holding on, adding a body scissors.

 

“And just like that, Alexander takes control. It only takes a second for a match to turn in The Mad Scientist's favour.”

 

Alexander, however, chooses not to stick with the hold. Instead he uses his leverage and his peerless mat wrestling to flip The Maori onto his stomach, never releasing the body scissors. Alexander, having to release the headlock to turn the Maori, now has enough space to allow a couple of stiff elbows to be thrown.

 

“I mean it's like watching a great painting's brush strokes being laid down.”

 

“I have to admit, he's a great wrestler, King.”

 

Deliberately falling backwards, Michael Alexander grabs out with both arms and hoists up one of Va'aiga's legs. At the same time Alexander extends his legs out and wraps them, snake like around the left arm of the Maori! Realising that he can't possibly keep hold of both limbs at the same time due to the massive size of the Maori, Alexander spins his body to the right, snapping the arm back and releasing that hold before turning the Inverted Half Crab into a regular one, via a toehold. Alexander slowly gets up to one knee, then stands, keeping the toehold locked in and then circles the Maori, repeatedly twisting his ankle before dropping down into the Ouroboros! The crowd boo loudly as Alexander smiles a sickening smile.

 

“Ouroboros! This is one of Michael Alexander's most painful holds!”

 

“And we all know The Maori has a problem with being submitted. It's his biggest weakness, Francis!”

 

Va'aiga wriggles forwards, using all of his strength to slither along the ground towards the ropes. Alexander tries fruitlessly to prevent the Maori from reaching out, but he doesn't expend too much effort, knowing that he hasn't really put enough work in on Va'aiga's limbs to hope for a submission yet. In the end Va'aiga easily grabs hold of the bottom rope and Nick Soappdish begins his five count. Alexander releases the hold and backs off, banking on Va'aiga not being able to capitalise immediately and his wrestling senses don't fail him as Va'aiga staggers to his feet and begins lumbering towards The Mad Scientist. Alexander immediately picks up on the weakness, rushes the far ropes and launches himself into a low dropkick, precisely aimed at The Maori Badass' knee. Alexander's boot connects solidly with the back of Va'aiga's thick skull, flattening him to the mat and Alexander grabs for Va'aiga's leg again and loudly announces for the crowd,

 

“And now the lesson begins!”

 

“People at home, begin taking your notes now. THIS is how a wrestler goes about his business.”

 

“You seem very confident that Michael Alexander is going to win, King.”

 

“And why wouldn't I be, Francis. It's MICHAEL ALEXANDER.”

 

And of course Mat Wrestling 101 is kicking your opponent in the thigh while he can't get up because you're holding his leg. Alexander is only too happy to demonstrate this with three sharp boots, each of which make The Maori wince in pain. Following up immediately, Alexander lifts the leg as high as he can by the ankle with both arms, driving it knee first into the mat. Keeping hold of the ankle, Alexander lifts Va'aiga's leg a second time and drives it down to the mat again. Smiling, possibly more out of his pleasure at Va'aiga's predicament than as an attempt to piss the crowd off further, The Mad Scientist makes it a trifecta of knee smashes as he lifts and drives Va'aiga's leg again.

 

“Alexander exerting his control and beginning to take over this match.”

 

“And he's doing it by playing to his strengths, Francis. It's all well thought out, it's all planned.”

 

With Va'aiga's leg still at his mercy, Alexander leaps into the air, extending his legs out perpendicular to the mat and scissoring Va'aiga's leg so that as The Mad Scientist falls, the leg gets driven sideways down into the mat with a nasty snap. Alexander rolls away and stands, immediately pouncing again with shoot kicks to the monstrous Maori's leg. Alexander tries for a pin, hooking the unhurt leg so the kickout will be as difficult as possible with the weakened one...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TH.. and Va'aiga rolls a shoulder up to break the count.

 

“Alexander is piling on the pressure here, King.”

 

“He's ruthless when he needs to be, Francis. He shows no mercy to his opponents.”

 

Alexander stands and takes some time to recover his breath, still slightly favouring his ribs as The Maori Badass ever so slowly gets to his feet. Va'aiga lunges carelessly forward, swinging a punch but Alexander ducks and uses the Maori's momentum against him, easily taking him down with a drop toe hold. Keeping the toe hold on Va'aiga's leg, Alexander bends his knees, lifting Va'aiga's leg up before snapping down at an angle to the mat, wrenching the calf muscles of the big man. Alexander releases the leg, floats round amateur wrestling style and lock on a simple leg bar. Alexander transitions up to an ankle lock and stands with it still applied, before beginning to drag The Maori Badass towards a corner.

 

“Alexander looking to use the corner.”

 

“Hey if it adds to the damage he can cause, why not, Francis?”

 

Evil intent flaring up in his eyes, Michael Alexander reaches the corner of the ring. Dragging The Maori into position to lay his leg across the second rope, Alexander positions himself carefully, then launches himself into a pump splash using the top rope, twisting in mid air to turn the move into an elbow drop across Va'aiga's suspended leg. Rapidly sliding through the ropes and onto the floor, Alexander snaps the leg against the rope again on his way down, then grabs both the Maori's legs and drags them so they are dangling over the edge of the ring apron either side of the ringpost. Alexander wraps his arms around Va'aiga's legs and APPLIES A HIGHLY MODIFIED TEXAS CLOVERLEAF AROUND THE RING POST! Nick Soapdish puts on a count...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

 

And Alexander breaks.

 

“Alexander nearly getting himself disqualified there.”

 

“He was never in any danger of being disqualified, Francis. He knows exactly how long he has before he has to break.”

 

Alexander, rolls in and out of the ring to make sure referee Nick Soapdish doesn't even think about putting a count on his work outside the ring while Va'aiga lies there, desperately trying to get some life back into his leg. Alexander grabs Va'aiga's legs again and crosses them around the ring post again. Alexander holds them in an Indian Deathlock position with his arms and pulls hard, applying pressure with his arms and the ring post. Nick Soapdish again has to count this illegal manoeuvre.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

And Alexander breaks again and loudly remind the referee and the crowd, “I know how long I have!” This of course earns him another loud round of jeers and catcalls from the crowd, which Alexander takes well in his stride. Alexander rolls back into the ring to continue working over his Maori opponent, who is still lying there, face screwed up in pain.

 

“How can Va'aiga get back into this match, King?”

 

“I don't know, Francis. Alexander is doing an impressive job of neutralizing him.”

 

Allowing Va'aiga to stand again, The Mad Scientist of the Mat lets Va'aiga take a few steps out of the corner. Alexander rushes in past the Maori, hops up onto the bottom turnbuckle to give him that little extra height advantage and jumps off, taking hold of Va'aiga's arm on the way down to mat level with a Fujiwara armbar. Quickly spinning his body round, Alexander first swings his legs over to scissor Va'aiga's far arm, and then with those scissors locked in, swinging his upper body round so he has Va'aiga's leg again in a half Boston Crab. Alexander maintains the hold for a few precious seconds more damage before The Maori manages to overbalance the hold by rolling onto his side.

 

“Va'aiga using his power and his bodyweight to his advantage there, King.”

 

“Francis, Va'aiga's bodyweight is always an advantage against guys like Alexander. He's just technically AND athletically outclassed.”

 

Having broken free of the hold, Va'aiga claws his way up to one knee. Alexander is busy picking himself up off the mat from a rather ugly landing and Va'aiga uses the time to pensively resume a vertical base. Heavily favouring the leg, Va'aiga waits on Alexander standing. Unfortunately for The Evil Genius, he doesn't have time to turn and presents his back to The Maori as he first stands. Va'aiga grasps for a back waistlock and falls backwards which has two effects. The first is that Michael Alexander is thrown to the mat with a powerful German Suplex. The second is that Va'aiga growls loudly and screws his face up, clutching his leg desperately. With both men lying on the canvas, Nick Soapdish puts on a count...

 

 

ONE!

 

“VAH-ING-UH! VAH-ING-UH!”

 

TWO!

 

“Both men are down here. I think Va'aiga surprised Alexander there with that German Suplex.”

 

THREE!

 

 

FOUR!

 

“I think Va'aiga is stirring first! Va'aiga must have caused a lot of damage with that big suplex, King!”

 

FIVE!

 

Va'aiga gets up to one knee...

 

SIX!

 

...and stands! Va'aiga walks over slowly, deliberately towards the fallen Michael Alexander, looks out into the cheering crowd and signals for a shot at the posts. Va'aiga takes two careful, slow steps back then two to the left.

 

“THE DAN CARTER KICK!”

 

And Va'aiga hobbles in and swings his leg as Alexander kips up, grabs the kicking leg and calmly back heel trips the standing leg, landing Va'aiga flat on the canvas again. Alexander taps his forehead in recognition of the genius in his plan. The crowd lets out an uproarious round of boos at this development.

 

“Alexander wasn't really THAT hurt, Francis. He was just playing possum to gain a tactical advantage and to steal a little extra recovery time. Any idiot could have seen that.”

 

“Why didn't you call that at the time then, King?”

 

Michael Alexander is unmoved, figuring out as he stalks The Maori other ways to inflict punishment on him. While no doubt passing the time planning his next fiendish submission, Alexander stomps away furiously at Va'aiga's leg, attempting to disable it further. An evil grin cross the Evil Genius' face as he ceases the stomps and drags Va'aiga slightly further away from the ropes. Alexander leans down and crosses Va'aiga's arms, stepping his left leg through to pin them in place. He then pick's up Va'aiga's hurt leg and with his own free leg...

 

“CURB STOMP TO THE BACK OF THE KNEE! CURB STOMP TO THE BACK OF THE KNEE!”

 

Alexander walks calmly away from Va'aiga as the Maori writhes in pain but The Mad Scientist Of The Mat cannot resist a chuckle at the plight of his opponent. Alexander closes in and with the Maori on his stomach, The Mad Scientist announces that “It's time!” The crowd boos vehemently as Alexander scissors The Maori's leg and drops down into THE GORDIAN KNOT! Va'aiga's face is a picture of suffereing as Alexander cinches in the hold nice and tightly, his Maori opponent's leg bent across Alexander's chest at a hellishly awkward angle. Va'aiga screams a defiant “NO!” as Nick Soapdish asks if he wants to submit. The crowd urge Va'aiga on with a “PLEASE DON'T TAP!” chant but Va'aiga is in one hell of a predicament.

 

“THE GORDIAN KNOT! This could be curtains for The Maori Badass in this match.”

 

“Just tap out Va'aiga! You have no chance! Give in!”

 

Trying again to roll out of a dangerous situation, Va'aiga manages to turn Michael Alexander over through brute force for a second time in the match. Alexander however uses Va'aiga's momentum to roll all the way through and maintain his bone crunching submission finisher! The Maori Badass screams in defiance as again he is asked whether he wants to give up, pain etched as deep into his face as his traditional tattoos are. Alexander wrenches back as hard as he can manage as Va'aiga begins to rock back and forth again, trying for the one further roll he needs to reach the ropes.

 

“Can Va'aiga reach the ropes? Can The Maori recover enough to turn the tide of this match around?”

 

“Can you stop being a cheerleader for Va'aiga, Francis? It's unprofessional.”

 

With Alexander screaming for him to tap and the roars of the crowd for him not to ringing in his ears, The Maori Badass uses some deep reserve of strength that he holds back for only the most desperate of situations and again powers the hold over so he is now lying on his front. Alexander keeps wrenching away but Va'aiga is now just within reach, just the merest inching of the hand away from gripping the bottom rope desperately with the ends of his fingers. Nick Soapdish gets down and asks for the break and when Alexander refuses, he puts on the count...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

 

FIV... FOUR AND NINE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE TEN THOUSANDTHS! Nick Soapdish ticks off Michael Alexander for the lateness of his break, but Alexander blows him off with an inaudible word. Alexander stands as Va'aiga hauls himself slowly to his feet, carefully using the ropes for support. The Mad Scientist sees an opportunity to pounce and rushes at The Maori, but Va'aiga low bridges the rope and Alexander goes spilling out to the outside! Va'aiga follows him out slowly.

 

“LOW BRIDGE! That's definitely cheating, Francis! I've seen you call it a million times before!”

 

“Yes, but that's when a manager does it, King. It's legal when a wrestler actually involved in the match does it.”

 

The Maori Badass hobbles over to the crash site that is Michael Alexander's prone body and picks him up. Alexander is helpless to resist as Va'aiga uses his arm strength to lift Alexander and dorp him ribs first over the edge of the ring apron. Grasping hold of one of Alexander's arms as he staggers away from the ring, Va'aiga powerfully Irish Whips The Mad Scientist into the guardrail, again causing him to crash ribs first, this time spilling over the top and into the crowd. Va'aiga this time rolls carefully into and out of the ring to assure Nick Soapdish he doesn't need to count the pair out any time soon.

 

“Typical Va'aiga, Francis. He has to use the environment outside of the ring to his advantage.”

 

“When you've taking the punishment Va'aiga has so far in this match, you need to use everything you can to attempt to win the match, King.”

 

Lifting Alexander up and hoisting him over his massive shoulder, Va'aiga brings Michael Alexander back to the ring and rolls him under the bottom rope. The Maori rolls back into the ring and tries to pin The Mad Scientist...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

TH.. and Alexander kicks out. Va'aiga slaps the mat in frustration and draws Alexander up to a vertical base again. Va'aiga turns so Alexander has his back to him and lifts Alexander up for a back suplex, placing the extra weight on his good leg of course, before switching up the direction of the move in mid air and driving Alexander's ribcage down to the mat with the Maoribomb!

 

“THE MAORIBOMB! THE MAORIBOMB!”

 

Va'aiga flips Alexander over and goes for the pin...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH... and Alexander kicks out again. Clearly becoming frustrated, Va'aiga leans over and dead lifts Alexander, scooping him up ready for the Maori Drop. Va'aiga's leg buckles as he tries to hold Alexander up and The Maori goes down to one knee. The crowd will Va'aiga on by raising the noise level in the arena and ever so slowly, the Maori hoists Alexander back up. Va'aiga ROARS in defiance, but from his position, Michael Alexander throws a couple of elbows into Va'aiga's leg and he drops to the knee again.

 

“Can Va'aiga get Michael Alexander up for the Maori Drop? He's taken a hell of a lot of punishment but I think the Maori is feeling his spirit, his mana if you will, well up inside him.”

 

Another defiant roar gets nearly every fan in the crowd cheering “VAH-ING-UH! VAH-ING-UH!” Using every ounce of muscle that sits on his huge frame, Va'aiga stresses and strains, fighting the pain in his leg with the sheer force of his mana and somehow, someway gets that leg back in and resumes his vertical position. Falling forward and driving his enormous bulk into Alexander's ribs as the pair crash to the mat, Va'aiga lands in a pinning position and hooks a leg...

 

 

ONE!

 

“THE MAORI DROP! VA'AIGA HIT THE MAORI DROP!”

 

TWO!

 

“It's over.”

 

THR... NO MICHAEL ALEXANDER KICKS OUT!

 

“IT'S NOT OVER,” King corrects himself!

 

Va'aiga stands quicker than Alexander, The Mad Scientist's grogginess outweighing the extra time it takes the Maori to stand, always being careful about the leg. Va'aiga holds his arm aloft for the crowd and begins adjusting his wrist tape in that familiar manner as Alexander turns slowly to face The Maori. The crowd noise dies for a half second as Va'aiga lines up and begins to build as much speed as he can, extending his arm out and readying himself for the thunderous impact... but Alexander dives low and attempt to take Va'aiga's leg out again! Va'aiga swings his arm furiously trying to catch a shot at The Mad Scientist and as a result manages to swing out of the way of the advancing Alexander! Va'aiga is now facing the wrong way and Alexander charges again, looking to chop block the big man down.

 

“One more hold on that leg should do it for The Mad Scientist!”

 

But Va'aiga senses it coming and somehow swings his leg out of the way, leaving his opponent crawling on the ground! Va'aiga leans over and as Alexander gets to one knee, he gets hauled to his feet by his own arm, which is then bent back across his own throat! Va'aiga pins the choke in place with a half nelson and again trying to put as little pressure as possible on his bad leg as he SPIKES MICHAEL ALEXANDER WITH THE SWISS SUPLEX! Va'aiga lays on the canvas, sucking wind and rhythmically slapping the mat and the crowd soon join in, clapping in time with The Maori. Alexander slumps on the canvas, regaining a little strength himself.

 

“This has been a tremendous showing by both men.”

 

“I have to agree with you there Francis, much as it pains me.”

 

Feeling the crowd, Va'aiga stands again and walks over to Michael Alexander, leaning over ready to pick him up again when... FLASH INSIDE CRADLE!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR... and Va'aiga kicks out! Alexander's face is pure frustration as he grimaces at the lack of a three count. Turning back to the Maori, Alexander wraps his legs around both Va'aiga's shoulders and tries to pin him to the mat with a crucifix...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH... and Va'aiga kicks out again! Alexander stands up, clutching at his ribcage. With grim determination, Alexander homes in on Va'aiga's leg, looking to finish the match off. Alexander leans over and VA'AIGA BOOTS HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS BETTER LEG! Alexander staggers backwards, surprised by the blow and Va'aiga struggles up to a knee. Alexander approaches again but Va'aiga is in the process of standing and he manages to flip Alexander over in a back drop! Va'aiga turns to face Alexander and making sure to take any impact of the blow he has to endure himself on his upper body, falls forwards and drives his head into Alexander's ribs. Va'aiga hooks the leg...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THR.. and Alexander kicks out! Va'aiga stands slowly and falls forwards again, driving his head into Alexander and the air out of his opponent's body. Not staying down to attempt a pin The Maori stands, pauses, drops forwards and hits the headbutt drop for a third time. Alexander is BADLY sucking wind as Va'aiga drags him to his feet. The Maori Badass scoops up Alexander for a second Maori Drop but AGAIN his leg fails him briefly. Alexander attempts to wriggle free, not wishing to be driven down to the mat, three hundred and fifty pounds of Maori landing on top of him. Firing off elbow after elbow to Va'aiga's thigh, Alexander makes The Maori collapse, landing on top of him in a pinning predicament!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THRE.. VA'AIGA KICKS OUT!

 

“Amazing back and forth action here! I can't tell which of these great wrestlers are going to win?”

 

The crowd are going nuclear as both men slowly regain their footing. Alexander approaches, going in low for the leg again, but Va'aiga grabs Alexander by the waist as he comes in, and hoists him up into a powerbomb position! Instead of pushing The Mad Scientist forwards, Va'aiga falls backwards and drops Alexander chest first into the top turnbuckle!

 

“WHAT A MOVE!”

 

Alexander reels back from the ropes, clutching his stomach, not for the first time in the match. He turns slowly, all sides of the arena seeing the pain in his face. Va'aiga catches Alexander and hoists him into the scoop position again, turning to make sure he's dropping Alexander somewhere away from the ropes and then pauses as an idea crosses his mind. Turning Michael Alexander over in the scoop hold, Va'aiga leaves Alexander's ribs exposed as he guts up for one big explosion of power and SMASHES ALEXANDER RIBS FIRST TO THE MAT WITH AN INVERTED MAORI DROP!

 

“Inverted Maori Drop! We haven't seen that in the SWF for years!”

 

Va'aiga flips Alexander over and covers...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

DINGDINGDING!

 

“And that's it! Va'aiga has pulled something out of the bag and beaten the Mad Scientist of the Mat.”

 

“He got lucky Comet. He got lucky again.”

 

[Mad Scientist 0]

This is my version. Cheap as hell, yes.

*****

 

“We're back at ringside for a return match for a huge main event a few months back – Michael Alexander against Va'aiga!” Mak Francis announces. “This promises to be a great match, King!”

 

King basks warmly in the atmosphere of the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Sin City, Gambler's Paradise, and hometown to one very special announcer. “Of course it does, Francis,” King grants magnanimously. “Va'aiga will receive yet another comeuppance, and Michael will get to return to his rightful place at the top of the SWF card!”

 

“That's not quite how it turned out last time,” Mak replies. “But in the SWF, anything can happen.”

 

“Francis, this VEGAS. My hometown, and I'm telling you Va'aiga's odds are almost as ugly as he is.”

 

“We'll see about that, King.”

 

Funyon clambers slowly into the ring as Referee Gil Grissom inspects the ropes and turnuckles thoroughly. He raises his microphone and blares. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the next match will be one fall. First, from New Zealand by way of Sunnyvale, CA, USA, he weighs in at 350 lbs...he is the Maori Badass...VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'AIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

The arena lights dim, the entranceway fills with smoke and the spotlights home in on the entrance gate. The loud shouts of Samoan gangsta rappers Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. fill the arena with a familiar battle cry

 

Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa (HA!)

Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa (HA!)

Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa (HA!)

Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa. (BOO-YAA!)

 

And Va'aiga walks out into the entrance gate, decked out in one of his familiar red and black entrance robes. As "All Mighty Boo Yaa" continues, Va'aiga throws the Boo-Yah Combination in time with the music.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

 

West Coast LUV!

Play y'all HUH!

Comin' thru YAA!

BOO-YAA! *BOOOOM!"

 

Pyro fires off in the entrance gate, behind The Maori as Va'aiga finishes the combination by throwing the Shaka sign, tilting his head back and throwing the hood of his robe back with the action, revealing his heavily tattooed face. Va'aiga walks down to ringside slowly, handing his robe to an attendant before stepping into the ring, climbing one of the corners and staring out into the crowd, throwing the Shaka Sign again.

 

King snorts derisively. “You know, with a little more practice he could get a job as an extra at that Star Trek exhibition...he's almost got that 'live long and prosper' sign right...”

 

Mak shakes his head. “While it would be hilarious to see what the Maori would do to a building full of Trekkies, I think Va'aiga's Shaka sign is no laughing matter, King. That sign is very often the last thing an opponent sees before the Maori Badass punches their lights out.”

 

“The lights never go out in Vegas, Francis. And here comes the man to show Va'aiga exactly that.”

 

A resounding bell heralds the beginning of “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica, and a video montage of Alexander’s previous in-ring exploits interwoven with a new branching double-helix fractal graphic. The montage has been updated to include bits that feature Toxxic, MANSON, and Insane Luchador. Blue and white strobes flicker in the arena, and as the guitar kicks in...

 

“And his opponent...” Funyon croons. “From Greenville, SC, USA...weighing in at 221 lbs...he is the Mad Scientist of the Mat...MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDER!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Alexander steps out onto the stage, and the flicker lighting stops dead. He gazes out over the crowd, smirks, and makes his way to the ring. He glares briefly at Va'aiga, who returns his glare with interest and a snarl. Michael trots up the steps and glides into the ring between the middle and top ropes. He waits for Grissom to inspect the turnbuckles again before leaning into his corner to await the bell. He briefly sweeps his gaze over the fans in disdain. Grissom has apparently finished his investigation of the ring, and thus he calls for the bell. Funyon beats a hasty retreat from the ring as the bell rings.

 

DING! DING!

 

The two men close with one another...Va'aiga barrels forward and Alexander charges, the two colliding in a collar-and-elbow. Va'aiga asserts his significant power advantage, and begins to bull Alexander back, when...

 

“JESUS F'N CHRIST, WHAT IS THAT?!?!” King chokes.

 

“I don't know, King...Alexander just shifted his weight and now both men are on the mat in some sort of hold...Alexander looks to be in control, but I can't tell what's...somebody's hand is tapping...is that? It is...! Va'aiga just tapped out!”

 

The taped hand continues to tap as Gil Grissom examines the mangled tangle of limbs that is the two locked combatants, then helps to separate them.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“What did Va'aiga tap to? What do we call that?” King asks incredulously.

 

“I don't know, King...” Mak whispers ominously. “It was like the Ultimate Submission...none of us even saw it coming...”

 

As Gil Grissom raises Alexander's hand high, Funyon's voice echoes throughout the arena. “Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner...the Mad Scientist of the Mat...MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAALEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDER!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“There's always a first in Vegas, Francis,” King chides, regaining his composure as Michael's victory is announced.

 

“Indeed, King. What does this bode for our Main Event tonight? Come back and see, folks!”

 

Michael Alexander smiles wickedly at the camera as we...

 

FADE OUT.