SJL Metal, June 27

June 28, 2002

SJL Metal Card, Thursday June 27th

Arena: The Fantabulous Arena Of Fun, Miami, Florida!

Due: Thursday, June 27th at 3PM Eastern. No extentions fools.

European Title 1st Pin Wins Match -

Frost © vs. Venom vs. C.I.A. vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

- Frost pulls double duty tonight! He defends the European title against three worthy men in Venom, Mak Francis and C.I.A.

Singles Match -

"The Rising Sun" Y2K vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

- The SJL's two newest members, with seemingly a love for quotation marks, lock up.

Singles Match -

Thor vs. Poisyn

- It's a match. Yeah yeah!

Singles Match -

Ced Ordonez vs. Silent

- The evil evil evil evil clannite Silent goes up against new WF guy, Ced Ordonez. Can Silent grab an upset against the nice old XF9er?

Singles Match -

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Z

- Two bumpees, going for their final match in the SJL. Should be a ripper.

Singles Match -

Renegade vs. Sydney Sky

- Renegade is back! Yes, that's right - the bastard who posts the comments thread and doesn't comment! But overcoming another former champion in Sydney Sky will not be easy...

World Title Cage Match -

"Deathwish" Danny Williams © vs. Frost

- Winner is the first person to climb out of the cage. Brutal fun ahoy, and Frost's second match of fun for the night. With both men being bumped this week, they will lock up in the SJL one more time - and for the SJL's highest prize, no less. However, there will be no time to celebrate, since when the match concludes, the title will be vacated for the forementioned reason.

June 28, 2002

A shot of The Fantabulous Arena Of Fun, Miami, Florida airs from a diagonal angle is shown as SJL Metal appears on millions of homes around the world. The SJL METAL banner appears over a black screen and an animation of jail bars slowly covers the words. A voiceover begins a recap as SJL METAL begins…

[Fade in].

“It all started with this…”

Funyon: One Minute! There is one minute left in the match!

Sky looks up at Williams with glazed over eyes, and strains to get up. Again her legs give out, and she’s unable to stand up. Williams kneels beside her, and Sky starts throwing weak punches and elbows at him. Williams steps behind her, and hooks her arms to restrain her. Sky fights to get free but gives up…

The crowd counts down, “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! ....ONE!”.

DING! DING! DING!

Funyon: “The winner of the match, and the NEW SJL WORLD CHAMPION “DEATHWISH” DANNY WILLIAMSsssssssssssssssss!!!!”

“Then came to this…”

The camera fades in with an extreme close-up of the SJL European Title and the fans out in the auditorium can be heard lightly cheering. The camera then pulls back to reveal the current title holder Frost with Sydney Sky lovingly clinging to his right arm and the crowd screams wildly. Syd looks at the camera and blows a playful kiss. The pair is standing in a back locker room with Ben Hardy, microphone in hand, at the ready.

[A quick cut occurs]

Frost: “I am humbled and honored by Sydney’s gesture. Not only does it allow me to feel the love I have so craved from her, but I will also be able to pay the despicably Danny William back for his brutal beating of my love.”

“And shall end with this…”

A graphic of SJL World Champion Danny Williams and Frost with a steel cage around their visages appears on the Smarktron and homes around the world as the pyrotechnics start to flare!

FWOOSH!

BAM! BAM!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The camera scowers the audience and finds a few choice signs like; “sWo is too…Ah it’s been done before”, “One more Time for the Renegade Masta!”, “Even with a broken neck HVT still ownz j00”, and finally “Nobody sucks up as hard as T-N-T except me”.

Axis: We are live for SJL METAL in the sold out Fantabulous Arena Of Fun, Miami, Florida!

MacPhisto: “Miami in the hiz-ouse!”

King: “Mayhem will be in the hiz-ouse soon also as we have some great matches…must I plug these? Why don’t we just trot LDP down here for this?”

MacPhisto: “I’ll do it. We have all sWo members in action tonight along with TNT v Z in what should be something different for the SJL fans if what I’ve heard is any indication. And the returning Renegade will take on former World Champion Sydney Sky in singles competition.”

King: “And the final match of the night pits SJL World Champion “Deathwish” Danny Williams against Frost in the confines of a STEEEEEEEL CAAAAAAGE!”

Axis: Let’s see what the man with ice in his veins had to say about anyone coming after his European Title.

[Fade in]

Rewind: Last SJL Wrath

Frost: “…Sydney might be my first love, but this belt is my second and they will not take it from me.”

Hardy: “But what if you win the World title against "Deathwish"? You might have to give the Euro up.”

The veins in Frost’s neck bulge and he shakes slightly with rage. Sky grips his arm tighter to calm him down.

Frost: “That match will be for one purpose and one purpose only, to destroy Danny Williams. Nothing more, nothing less and if the Insane Luchador is dumb enough to win his match tonight and join me in that title match he will be obliterated if he stands in my path. My love is forever, the continent of Europe is forever.”

Frost leans down and gives Syd a light kiss on the lips. She returns it with equal tenderness and then waves at the camera with an ear-to-ear grin as the picture fades out.

[Fade out]

King: “That doesn’t bode well for anybody as Frost still has some of the unstoppable monster left in him. Syd didn’t…SUCK…all of that from him yet.”

Axis: [sardonic] “Innuendo at it’s finest….”

Interrupting their conversation, “Ashes in the Fall” plays as Mak Francis walks out from behind the curtain dressed in long, black, dark trench coats, and the sWo’s traditional black dark glasses. Tyler Kinkel walks to the left side of the stage while Francis walk to the right.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Four short bursts of sparks lead into a large pyrotechnic explosion that erupts in the center of the stage. The sWo member and his coach raise their hands in a respectful salute to Chris Wilson leader of the sWo. Francis walks down the aisle, discards his sWo accessories and slides into the ring and raises both fists in the center of the ring while Tyler Kinkel once again enters the commentary booth.

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen this contest is a scheduled for one fall and is for the S-J-L Europeeeeeaaaaaan Championship! The first of three challengers…weighing in at 225 pounds…your S-J-L Teeelevisiiionnn Champeen…”The Franchise” MAAAAAAK FRAN-CIIIIIS!

Edwin: “Well, here’s Mak’s shot at the big time. We’ll see if all his talk was just that or if he really is this federations newest Franchise.”

The lights in the arena change, slightly, everything acquiring a red tinge, as the SmarkTron flickers to life, portraying a Canadian flag, flowing in the wind, and the instrumental accompaniment to 'O Canada' playing. Or at least, the first verse, before....

BOOM!

A bright red rush of pyro shoots up along the stage, glittering points of red light slowly drifting down from above, and a voice rings out, accompanied by the opening riff to 'Secret Agent Man', and the emergence of a masked figure, microphone in hand.

"Ladies and Gentleman!" C.I.A. poses for a moment, basking in the cheers that are directed towards him. "Greetings from the frozen north!" Walking down towards the ring, C.I.A. slaps hands with all the fans he passes. "Buy yourself a Canadian Beer, and get ready to have your eyes opened!". "Raise your voices up, let the people smile! Cause I'm here, and I'm bringing the CANADIAN STYLE!"

The crowd pops like a Snapple bottle from a convenience store as Funyon begins the second introduction.

Funyon: And Second, making his way to ringside…weighing in at 237 pounds…from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada…“The most of sensational secret agent”…C.I.A, the CAANADIIANNN-INTELL-IGENCEssss-AAAAAAA-GENTTTTT!

Kinkel: “Listen to those teenie boppers! They act like he’s Britney Spears!

King: “Please if CIA had fun bags the size of hers I’d cheer for him too!”

"I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite enter my veins...”

FWIISH!

Funyon: And your final challenger…he's weighing in tonight at 210 pounds…hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan…”The one and only snake charmer”…VENNNN-OMMMMM!

Venom walks down to the ring slowly and methodically. Venom totally ignores Francis and CIA as he goes to the first two turnbuckles. He stands on them raising his right hand in a weird ritual that almost forces the crowd to cheer insanely loud.

Axis: “And here is the returning Venom!”

Edwin: “After almost half a year of hiatus Venom returns to get revenge on the man that injured him so long ago. This man is definitely not to be taken lightly, as he has come back on a hot streak and showing no signs of ring rust by defeating MVS last show."

Venom comes to the corner Francis is occupying and a stare down ensues as neither Venom nor Francis’s eyes waver…like in a trace. Francis is the first to break eye contact and attack with a right hand but Venom blocks the attack and the two men trade rights while Kivell tries to break them up. CIA just looks on towards the ramp…

With that a piercing guitar rift from “Cities of Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” blares through the arena. The crowd surprisingly gives a large cheer for Frost, as he seems to be fighting for love later tonight.

Funyon: “And finally from Reykjavik, Iceland…weighing in at 297 pounds…he is your S-J-L Europeeeeeaaaaaan Champion, ladies and gentlemen I give you a touch of…FRROOOOOSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT!”

Frost walks down to ringside and starts to unhitch his most prized European Title as CIA launches himself off the top turnbuckle to the outside in a moonsault and performs a quarter twist hitting Frost with his full body weight taking both men to the cold unforgiving ground!

Axis: “CIA with a flying body attack similar to his Air Canada. This time he’s gotten the jump on Frost in a rematch of their Triple Threat European Title match on Wrath!”

Francis and Venom battle toe-to-toe, with the snake handler gaining control and whipping Francis into the ropes. Francis rebounds back gaining speed as ducks under a clothesline attempt from Venom and dives over the top rope in a tope suicida completely connecting with the now standing CIA and getting enough of Frost to knock him back to the hard ground. Venom gazes at the three men in a mass of broken bodies and decides why the hell not. The perennial high-flyer waits for the mass to un-jumble themselves and rise as he jumps onto the top rope and balances his weight…

Axis: ”A SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM THE VETERAN VENOM!”

“HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!”

MacPhisto: “Now that’s high risk!”

Frost and Venom are the first to their feet and they drag CIA and Francis respectively into the ring so that Kivell can finally get this match-up under control. He looks to see that all four men are in the ring and finally is able to ask for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Frost slowly brings CIA to his feet showing the effects of the Air Canada variation. The Iceman from Iceland drops CIA across his knee in a backbreaker and then deposits him back to the mat by pushing him off his knee causing him to land face first. The Canadian tries to reach his feet but a club like blow to the back of CIA plants him to the mat. Frost slams another forearm shot receiving the same result as CIA struggles to get back on his feet.

Meanwhile Venom has taken to the Franchise by laying the boots to his rib cage. Venom bounces off the ropes and leaps down on Francis’s sternum with both elbows pointed. Francis holds his arms to his chest as Venom grabs his legs and forward flips into a bridging pinning predicament. Matthew Kivell hits the mat and begins to count drawing Frost’s attention away from pummeling CIA...

One…

Two…

Axis: “And Frost breaks up the three count by hitting a stiff boot to the head of Venom. Frost’s not going to let anybody lose this match for him.”

CIA takes this opportunity to hit a low dropkick to the back of Frost’s knee. Frost falls down to a knee as CIA rushes forward and headlocks Frost driving his face into the canvas beside a still down Francis and Venom. CIA quickly flips Frost over and goes for the cover.

One…

Two…

Axis: “And Frost powers out tossing CIA off him like a rag doll.”

Francis finally gets to his feet and picks Venom up to the standing position, whipping him into the turnbuckle. Francis runs in and hits a clothesline to the veteran sprawling him out in the corner. Francis grips Venom by the forearm and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle causing him to just miss the downed Frost. Francis rushes in again but catches a boot to the face this time. Francis staggers back but rushes in again this time into a Sky-high powerbomb near the corner. Venom holds the pin as Kivell counts…

One…

Two…

Thr-

Axis: “And Francis got the shoulder up at two and a half.”

Venom stands up shaking the Franchise’s legs off of his body and picks him up, locking on a front face lock. He snaps Francis over in a hard suplex and keeps the hold after the first going for what seems to be rolling snap suplexes. He guides them up to hit a second and Francis goes up and over once more. Finally he lift Francis up into the air and places him on the top rope effectively crotching him and setting him up for a superplex at the same time. Venom climbs the turnbuckle in hopes of completing the trance but Francis fights off the impending superplex with right hands to the stomach of Venom and finally gets Venom off the ropes with a shove. The Franchise dives off the second rope dropping his leg across the neck of Venom, which cause the poison’s legs to lift into the air.

Axis: “ Francis breaks the trance and hits a leg drop from the second turnbuckle in a counter attack. Francis with his back to Venom hooks the far leg and Kivell makes the count.”

One…

Two…

T

Axis: “And a forceful kick-out by Venom.”

Edwin: “Venom’s taken too much over his career to go down to an exaggerated leg drop.”

King: “Bah, Venom may have been the in thing six months ago but the SJL has changed and his dominance is just a memory.”

Edwin: “You mean like your World Title reign Kingy…Zing!”

On the other side of the ring, CIA walks back over towards Frost but the behemoth is already up to his feet. Frost hits a few right hands to the ear of the Intelligence Agent and Irish whips him into ropes rushes back in with speed and ducks Frost attempt at a spinning back fist strike but Frost quickly turns this to his advantage and catches CIA on the return trip flipping him 360 degrees and then dropping him to the mat like a bad habit. Frost makes the cover hooking the leg as Kivell scoots across the ring to make the count…

One…

Two…

Axis: “And a strong kick-out by CIA.”

King: “It’s about time Frost took the advantage. He’s let a little out of ring action and a pin fall attempt by Venom take his mind of breaking CIA in half.”

Kinkel: “He should just throw CIA out of the ring and worry about his only real competition, “The Franchise” Mak Francis!”

Edwin: “Zaniness aside, your kid has been getting man handled by Venom for most of this match and you think Francis is the only threat. If anything he and CIA, no matter how much anyone likes them, are the long shots in this match. Frost is my pick to retain and become a double champion later on tonight but if anybody were to beat him it have to be the vet Venom. He just has too much experience over these guys.”

Frost picks CIA up and places him on his mammoth shoulder. The big man runs forward dropping CIA face first across the turnbuckle causing him to stumble about the ring in a dizzy state and then fall to the mat face first.

While Frost was handling CIA, Mak Francis, was on the other side of the ring dealing blows to Venom. Francis picked Venom up and backed him into the corner uncovering his chest and attacking with knife-edged chops!

--Smack--

BOOOOOOOOOO!

Francis flips off the crowd and repeats the process this time hitting an even harder chop!

--SMACK--

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This time the Franchise is flustered by their boo’s and jaw jacks with a particular fan getting on his nerves. The man in the Extra Large XF9 shirt gets asked and I quote “If you think you can do any better, remove your lazy ass from the couch, away from the cookie dough and Tough Enough 2 reruns and get your ticket to concussion junction courtesy off the Franchisee. This allows Venom to switch their positions in the corner and chop at Francis’s chest.

--smack--

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This time Venom gets a really good one.

--SMACK!!!--

WHOOOOOHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

Francis holds his hand over his chest and hops out of the corner in pain but Venom has other ideas as he puts Francis back in the corner. He slowly climbs the turnbuckle and Francis. He stands over the Franchise doing his ritual and the SJL fanatics really get behind him. He signals for a ten punch and the crowd eats it up.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!!

FIVE!!

SIX!!

SEVEN!!!

EIGHT!!!

NINE!!!

And Venom delays the final punch holding the crowd in the palm of his hand.

TENNNNNNNN!

Venom hops down of a hurting Francis and whips him towards the opposite turnbuckle, which brings us back to Frost and CIA.

Venom Irish whips Francis towards the opposite corner but Francis reverses and tosses Venom right at Frost. Frost always weary of attacks from behind turns around, arm extended out, as he catches Venom in a single arm choking position…but CIA has recovered and hits a chop block to the knee that he attacked earlier.

Axis: “And CIA goes back to the knee of Frost. A great way to keep the big man from using his power moves is to keep his back on the mat.”

Kinkel: “All they’re doing is assuring Mak a victory.”

MacPhisto: “How can you even think this way? Are the sWo members so insecure about their actual talent that they need force feed themselves lies?”

King: “This coming from a commissioner that booked Mak in three straight title defense. And against one guy twice! If that isn’t somebody trying to get the belt off someone I don’t know what is.”

CIA and Venom look at each other and nod in acknowledgement. Then the two grapplers hit double dropkicks to the knees of the iceman. CIA hovers over Frost holding him in a Camel clutch as Venom rebounds off the side ropes and connects with a dropkick to the side of Frost’s head. Venom gets back up and locks on a camel clutch of his own as CIA rushes to the far ropes but Francis pulls down the ropes and CIA falls over the top rope and to the outside.

King: “Francis will someday be crowned the dirtiest player in the game.”

Axis: “How dare you compare this guy to Ric Flair!”

King: “What I was talking about myself Axis.”

Axis: “Venom lets go of the camel clutch on Frost and now has his full attention of Francis…Venom and Francis rush forward…Francis stops to attack. And Venom ducks under the Francis back elbow attempt. Francis attempts a standing dropkick to catch Venom of the ropes…but Venom holds on and Francis hits nothing but air! Venom drags Francis up to his feet backwards and tries to German suplex the Franchise…but he counters with his previously missed back elbow and executes a standing switch.”

Francis drops Venom in a German suplex but Venom fights out of the rolling attempt and executes a standing switch of his own.

Axis: “Venom counters!”

Venom drops Francis on his back with a German suplex and then another one and another one this time holding the bridge.

One…

Two…

Three…

Axis: “Francis kicks out!”

King: “He won’t go down to some German suplexes.”

Venom drags Francis to his feet kicks him in the gut going for a DDT but Francis catches his foot. Francis spins him around but Venom kicks again and hits a lightening quick DDT. He goes for the cover…

One…

Two…

Axis: He kicks outs!

Frost gets up and pulls Venom off him. The big man spins him around and hits a Ice Shelf to the stunned Venom.

One…

Two…

Axis: “And Francis breaks up the count.”

Francis and Frost fight it out in the center of the ring but again Frost opponent goes low and attacks the knee. Frost goes down like a sack off potatoes and Francis hooks on the figure four in the center of the ring. The one thing he didn’t count on was CIA flying off the top rope in his finisher Air Canada.

Axis: “AIR CANADA BY CIA WHO IS BACK IN THE GAME.”

ONE

TWO

THREE

Axis: “NO! Frost leans back causing Francis to kick out of Air Canada.”

All member lay broken in the ring from pain but after a while Frost gets up to his feet and tosses CIA out of the ring again by the scruff of his neck while Francis hobbles over to Venom still hurting from the affects of Air Canada. Francis grabs Venom in a back waist lock but Venom looks to parry Francis’s German suplex attempt but Francis locks in the Million Dollar Exemption and Venom waves his right hand about trying to find some counter to Francis’s submission maneuver. Francis slowly preps himself and Venom for the cobra clutch suplex that follows this move.

Axis: “I think Francis is going for the Million Dollar-Plex. This will be the first time Francis has ever even attempted this attack. And for good reason as it is one of the most dangerous moves in the wrestling biz if done incorrectly.”

But out of nowhere Frost lumbers up behind the smaller Francis and locks in a cobra clutch of his own dragging both men away from the ropes. Referee Matthew Kivell can only look on mouth wide open, as quite frankly, he has never seen anything like this.

Axis: “Stereo Cobra Clutches. Although that normally means that they are done to two separate people at the same time. Maybe we should call this something else.”

King: “Axis just shut up and enjoy the beauty wrestling. I don’t know if I could have even done this better. Actual, there’s no doubt in my mind that I could have done this better but they’re just not me so I can’t hold it against them.”

Edwin: “Linking cobra clutches by Francis on Venom and Frost and Francis has lead to something of a stalemate in the ring as CIA has been…dealt with by Francis.”

Suddenly Frost grapevines his leg with Francis’s and dives forward causing the Franchise to push Venom face first into the mat as well. Both Francis and Venom feel the effects of a devastating front Russian leg sweep that rattles the ring as nearly 535 pounds of wrestler crashes in to the canvas.

Axis: “Icelandic leg sweep by Frost and he goes for the cover on Francis.”

One…

Two…

Thr-

Axis: “No! Francis got a shoulder off the mat. And now Frost goes for the cover on Venom who was pinned to the side of Francis face down…”

One…

Two…

Three…

Axis: “NO! CIA dives back into the ring and breaks the pin fall with a double axe handle to Frost’s shoulder blades.”

King: “Frost was so close if he had hooked the leg on Francis he could have already ended this match. I blame that vixen Sydney Sky and all her sexual healing of his ice cold soul.”

Frost starts to gets up but Francis has already recovered form the near fall and is jockeying for position with CIA. Frost gets up to his feet but seeing Venom finally start to move forces him to pound him into the mat. It’s just apart of his nature.

While Frost lays kicks to the ribs of Venom, Francis takes control of the collar and elbow tie-up. Francis goes behind and drops him to the mat for a double leg takedown. Francis drags CIA over toward the corner for a Figure four around the ring post but CIA counters by kiking Francis off him.

Venom now standing

CIA tosses Francis outside and lays in wait for him to rise to his feet. CIA prepares to hit some sort of high-flying move but suddenly somebody taps him on the shoulder. CIA spins and gets dropped to the mat by the impaler DDT.

Axis: “ICE PICK TO CIA!”

King: “Frost has this match wrapped up. He defeated TNT with this move so there is no way CIA will kick out.”

ONE

TWO

THREE!

Axis: “NO! Francis pulled Frost off CIA by his ankle.”

Edwin: “And look at Venom poised on the top rope ready to strike.”

Frost stands up to see who stop his win but turns while Venom leaps from the turnbuckle, wraps his arms around Frost’s neck, and performs a swinging DDT from the top rope.

King: “Oh great it’s True Fear. Come on Frost kick out…”

ONE

TWO

THREE!

Axis: “NO! Francis pulls Venom to the outside to break up the count. That last attack to a lot from Venom and Francis places him on the ring apron for a Super Back Drop!”

Francis turns into a neckbreaker and quickly drop hanging Venom in a Super Hangman’s neckbreaker on the outside.

Kinkel: Yes! We’re gonna win!”

Francis slides back into the ring and twists CIA knee and other leg into the crude shape of a four and drops to the mat. With the Figure four in place all CIA can do is try to turn the move over. Frost is down from True fear by Venom and Venom himself took a hangman’s neckbreaker from the apron. Kivell bends down and as CIA again if he’ll surrender and the answers still no.

Finally after all the punishment CIA can’t take it and finally gives up.

DING! DING! DING!

Funyon: “The winner of this match and your new SJL European Champion, sWo member “the Franchise” Mak Francis.

Kinkel: “He won! It’s about time!”

Edwin: “This is a disgrace. The sWo now hold two prized belts in the Smarks Junior League. I always knew this kid had the talent to win the belts but will he grow up after this big time win.”

King: “Well if anyone had to win it should’ve been him.”

Francis falls out of the ring and hobbles to the announce table getting in Edwin MacPhisto's face. He looks him dead in the eyes and speaks.

Francis: "Can you hold me down now Edwin. I told you that you couldn't hold me down. The sWo will soon receive new member after new member and we'll dominate this fed forever. You can throw thousands people at me and I'll still win my wannabe mentor. CIA could do nothing but tap out and so will everybody else. Now bow down and hail Chris Wilson and the sWo. And don't forget your new SJL Euro TV champion. The first double champion since Strike..."The Franchise" Mak Francis!

Francis walks away and Kinkel gets up from his seat laughing at Edwin and slapping Mak on the back while Frost rises to his feet and looks on at the back of the man that stole his most precisous title. The New SJL European Champion.

Edwin: “This kid is ridiculous. He will never grow up and learn that I'm not holding him down. Go to a commercial!”

June 28, 2002

The camera fades back in on Metal to find Frost sitting on a chair back in the locker room. He is soaked with sweat and breathing hard from the match he just lost, but must pull in all of his reserves for another match upcoming against Deathwish Danny Williams in a steel cage for the World Title. His last day in the SJL is certainly not an easy one.

Sydney Sky runs into frame and kneels down beside her beloved one. She throws her arms around his neck and gives him a concerned kiss on the cheek.

Sky: “Oh, honey, I saw what happened. I am so sorry. Are you ok?”

Frost turns his head to look at her with his eyes that betray no emotion, even to her. He rubs his rough, yet gentle paw up and down her arm.

Frost: “Better now that you are here. I learned long ago that one cannot change the past, even though I have lost the European title I have much to look forward to in the future.”

Sydney ducks her head down and gives a forlorn sigh.

Sky: “A future without me. You’re going up to the SWF and I have to stay here. Different touring schedules, different dates, different shows, different towns; we’ll hardly ever see each other. I just found you and now I lose you.”

Sky’s eyes well up with tears and Frost bestows upon her one of his rare smiles that he saves for her and her alone.

Frost: “My future will always include you and I will always be there if you need me. The little time we have together will just become more precious and make me love you even more. You have made me realize that there are more things in life than titles and advancement. There is love and love cannot be destroyed by trivial issues of time or distance.”

The two kiss lovingly and Sky buries her head into Frost’s massive right shoulder, safe and loved.

Frost: “Before I go, I’ll leave you with a present. I’ll leave you with your fondest wish. I’ll leave here tonight on a broken wish.”

Sky does not see Frost’s eyes narrow and harden as he ponders final retribution on Danny Williams.

June 28, 2002

(The camera cuts backstage as SJL's very own, Ben Hardy, is standing around outside the locker room, of the newest SJL superstar, 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins. The door opens, and out walks 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins, wearing a 'Kottonmouth Kings' black tank top on, and his normal ring attire. Hollywood looks at Ben oddly.)

Ben Hardy: Spike, in just a few moments, you make your SJL debut, against the rookie, 'The Rising Sun' Y2K.

Hollywood: Cool

Ben: Cool?

Hollywood: No.... Really Cool.

Ben: Is that all you got to say about your debut?

(Hollywood just shrugs his shoulders)

Hollywood: I guess so.

Ben: Ummm, Spike...

Hollywood: Call me Hollywood, my good friend.

Ben: Ok....well, Hollywood, do you even know who Y2K is?

Hollywood: Yeah, I watched video tapes of his debut and his match last week....well...not really...BUT, I did have some nerdy guy tell me about Y2K. And I know all about Y2K's life and family, and junk.

Ben: Really?

Hollywood: Yeah, like...uhhh

(Hollywood pulls out some index cards from his pants pocket, and looks down at them)

Hollywood: Y2K...he was a former UWA UK Champion. Hey wait a minute, what in the hell is the UWA?

Ben: A former wrestling promotion...

Hollywood: A wrestling promotion, that had a UK Champion? Why would a wrestling promotion have a title named after a country that has tee and crumpets?

Ben: I don't know...

Hollywood: Hmmm, Tea and Crumpets sound good right now. I think I'll go get some.

Ben: But you have a match.

Hollywood: Oh yeah. Thanks buddy.

(Hollywood gives Ben a slap on the shoulder, and walks away)

Ben: WOW, that was pretty much, out there.

June 28, 2002

The camera’s cut back to the announcer’s table, focusing in on Axis, Edwin, and Suicide.

Edwin: Well, in just a few moments, we will see the debut of the newest SJL Star, ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins.

King: I already don’t like this guy.

Axis: Why?

King: He is a fake.

Edwin: What do you mean?

King: He calls himself Hollywood, BUT HE WAS BORN IN NEW YORK.

Edwin: So?

King: He is a liar and a fake.

Edwin: That doesn’t mean anything.

King: So you like liars and fakes?

Edwin: I HAVENT EVEN MET THE GUY YET.

"A Little Doubt Goes A Long Way" by Reel Big Fish blasts over the PA as "The Rising Sun" Y2K steps out from behind the entrance curtains, wearing his usual black surcoat and Vega mask. Behind him, follows his manager, Joe Barchini.

Funyon: Coming to the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds, accompanied by Joe Barchini, the former UWA UK Champion, 'The Rising Sun' Y2K.

Y2K slides under the bottom ring ropes, and quickly stands, looking out into the audience booing him. Joe Barchini walks up the steel steps at ringside, and steps onto the ring apron. Joe throws his leg through the ropes, and steps into the ring. Joe pulls a mic out of his back pocket, and hands it to Y2K.

Y2K: What the hell is the matter with all of you? Why the hell am I here? I should be in the SWF RIGHT NOW. I should be the World Champion RIGHT NOW.

Edwin: Didn’t he lose his last match?

King: You know he is right.

Y2K: But NOOOOOOOOOO, you got me in a match against a….against a…..against a….. AGAINST A STONER!

Y2K looks at Joe, and Joe starts shaking his head in shame.

Y2K: You bookers should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELFS. Putting me in a match against some new guy, who thinks smoking pot is…COOL.

“Peace Not Greed” by Kottonmouth Kings starts playing over the PA as the lights go out. Neon green lights start flashing over the fans, as ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins walks out from behind the entrance curtain.

Funyon: And coming to the ring, weighing in at 220 pounds, from Hollywood, California. ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins!!!!

The lights start focusing on Spike, as he walks up towards the ring. Spike quickly slides into the ring, stands, looking over at Y2K and his manager, Joe Barchini. Spike steps over to the corner, hopping onto the middle rope, and poses for the crowd. Spike jumps backwards, landing on his feet, walking over to Y2K. Funyon hands his mic over to Spike, as referee, Anthony Michael Hall runs down to the ring.

Hollywood: Hey, buddy, who are you calling a stoner?

Y2K: You.

Hollywood: Oh yeah……oh wait, I am. Never mind. But anyway, who the hell do you think you are?

Y2K: I am a superstar. I should be the SWF World Champion Right now. For Christ’s sakes, I wrestled Richard Romero.

Hollywood: Richard Romero? Who the hell is Richard Romero? Oh wait, Richard Romero is that guy from Charles in Charge. I remember that show.

Y2K: NO. Richard Romero is a wrestling legend.

Hollywood: I thought he was funny on Charles in Charge.

Y2K: HE WAS NOT ON CHARLES IN CHARGE.

Hollywood: Uhh Duh, I think he was.

Y2K: NO, HE WASN’T.

Hollywood: How do you know? Are you Richard Romero?

Y2K: No…

Hollywood: Were you on Charles in Charge?

Y2K: Uhhh no….

Hollywood: THEN YOU DON’T KNOW.

King: What the hell does Charles in Charge have to do with anything?

Axis: I have no clue.

King: This guy is a waste of time.

Edwin: I don’t know about that, he is pretty funny.

Y2K: You’re an idiot!

Hollywood: All because I know 90’s TV and you don’t?

Hollywood looks at Referee Anthony Michael Hall

Hollywood: HEY! I know you.

Referee Hall: ……..

Hollywood: You’re from Sixteen Candles and Weird Science.

Referee Hall: Yeah…

Hollywood: That little Chinese guy from Sixteen Candles. Oh man, he was great.

Y2K drops the mic, and nails Hollywood in the back of the head with an elbow. Y2K knocks Hollywood into the ropes.

* Ding * Ding* Ding *

Y2K whips Hollywood across the ropes, but Hollywood reverses it, sending Y2K across the ropes. Y2K comes running back, but gets a spinning heel kick to the face by Hollywood, knocking him to the ground. Joe Barchini walks up to Hollywood, and starts yelling at him. Hollywood just looks at Joe weird, as Joe slaps Hollywood across the face.

King: Hahaha, Y2K’s manager just slapped Hollywood.

Edwin: I don’t think that’s pretty smart. Hollywood looks mad…

Hollywood gives a right hand to Joe’s face. And another one that knocks Joe to the ropes. Hollywood clotheslines Joe over the top rope, and Joe lands on his ass on the floor. Y2K knee’s Hollywood in the lower back, knocking him over. Y2K lifts Hollywood to his feet, and whips him into the corner. Y2K runs at him, and gives him a big clothesline. Y2K whips Hollywood across the ring, but Hollywood reverses, and whips Y2K into the opposite corner. Hollywood runs at him in the corner, jumps to the ground, doing a roll, jumps out of the roll, jumping onto Y2K, and jumping back, pulling Y2K with him, throwing him into the air.

Axis: Rolling Monkey Flip.

Edwin: Nice move.

King: Wow, he did a roll. Big whoop.

Edwin: I would like to see you do something like that.

King: Hey, shut up before I smack you.

Edwin: Try it.

King attempts to smack Edwin across the face, but Edwin ducks, and King falls out of his chair.

Edwin: Ha!

King: Son of a bitch…

Back in the ring, Y2K slowly stands, holding his back in pain. Hollywood runs at him, jumping onto the ground, doing a roll, jumping out of the roll, hitting Y2K in the chest with a front Dropkick, knocking Y2K out of the ring, onto the outside. Hollywood stands, and poses for the crowd, as Joe Barchini walks around the ring towards Y2K. Joe steps to Y2K, checking on him. Hollywood looks out at them, and runs into the opposite direction into the ropes. Hollywood runs towards them, jumping over the top rope, and planchaing himself over onto Joe and Y2K.

King: Y2K, LOOK OUT.

Axis: Way too late. Hollywood just put his body on the line to take out both Y2K and his manager, Joe Barchini.

King: Yeah, we just saw that, stupid…

Hollywood stands, looking down at the two fallen opponents. Hollywood looks out into the audience, and poses a bit for the screaming fans. Hollywood looks down at Y2K, and jumps into the air, doing a 180 spin, and dropping down, leg dropping Y2K.

Axis: 420 Leg drop.

King: Yeah, I wonder how he got that name.

Hollywood stands, grabbing Y2K by the hair, lifting him to his feet; Hollywood carries Y2K to the ring, and slides him under the bottom rope. Hollywood steps onto the ring apron, but turn back over to Joe Barchini on the ground. Hollywood jumps back onto the floor, and walks over to Joe. Hollywood stands over Joe, looking down at his helpless body.

King: Hey Hollywood, leave him alone.

Axis: Oh, he deserves whatever he gets.

Edwin: Yeah, let Hollywood kick his ass.

King: Hey, if you guys were walking down the street, and see some old lady, getting attacked by some young man, twice as young as she is, would you go help her?

Axis: Yeah…

Edwin: Of course…

King: SO GO HELP JOE.

Axis: Yeah right.

Spike jumps into the air, giving a 180 spin, and dropping down, leg dropping Joe across the chest.

Axis: Another 420 Leg drop.

Hollywood stands, and slides back into the ring, but Y2K jumps on him with an elbow to the back of the head. Y2K lifts Hollywood up quickly, and whips him into the ropes. Hollywood comes running back to Y2K, and Y2K goes for a clothesline, but Hollywood ducks it, and runs into the ropes in the opposite direction. Y2K turns around, ducking his head. Hollywood comes running back at Y2K, but Hollywood grabs his head, and throws himself into the air, yelling “OHHHHHH WEEEEE”, and dropping down, DDTing Y2K.

King: What the hell is that anyway?

Axis: He calls it the Ohhh Weee DDT.

King: What the hell is Ohhh Weeee?

Edwin: I don’t even think Hollywood knows.

King: Then why does he use it?

Edwin: Its catchy.

Y2K gets up to one knee, holding his face from the DDT. Spike runs at him, and springboards off his knee, giving Y2K a stiff kick to the back of the head, that causes a loud pop to echo through the arena, drawing a “Ohhhh” from the fans.

Edwin: Ouch…

Axis: Dangerous Wizard!

King: HE STOLE THAT MOVE!

Axis: From who?

King: When I found out, I will tell you.

Spike quickly jumps onto Y2K, hooking the leg, as Referee Hall jumps to the ground.

One

.

Two

.

Y2K gets a shoulder up. Hollywood stands, grabbing Y2K’s head, lifting him to his feet. Hollywood gets behind Y2K, and hooks Y2K’s head under his arm, and dropping down, hitting a reverse DDT. Hollywood quickly stands, and walks over to the corner. Hollywood uses the ropes, to springboard himself to the top rope. Hollywood stands on the top rope, waiting for Y2K to get up. Referee Hall has his back turned to Hollywood, checking on Y2K. Y2K’s manager, Joe Barchini, jumps onto the ring apron next to Hollywood, and grabs his leg.

Edwin: What the hell?

Axis: This guy never learns…

King: Ha ha, pay backs a bitch, isn’t it Hollywood?

Y2K sees his manager holding onto Hollywood’s leg, and quickly stands. Hollywood gives Joe a quick punch to the head, knocking him off the apron. Y2K runs into the ropes, crotching Hollywood on the top turnbuckle. Y2K climbs up to the middle rope, grabbing Hollywood by the head. The crowd starts too boo him, and he just waves it off, telling them to “Shut their mouths.”

King: See, to win a match, you don’t have to pose for the crowd. You got to be aggressive.

Edwin: Yeah, I’m sure that’s how you won back when you were in the ring.

King: Your damn right.

Edwin: Hey wait, when did you win?

King: Bitch…

Back in the ring, Y2K pulls Hollywood to the top rope, and then climbs up to the top rope himself.

Axis: This is very dangerous. Both of them standing on the top rope.

King: Crush him Y2K.

Y2K hooks his arm over Hollywood’s head, and Hollywood’s arm over Y2K’s head. Y2K grabs Hollywood’s trunks, and pulls him into the air, and dropping back off the top rope, superplexing him off the top rope, and both bodies coming crashing down onto the mat.

Edwin: Dear God.

King: Hollywood’s dead. I say, good riddance.

Axis: I hate to say it, but you might just be right. Hollywood isn’t moving.

Edwin: But neither is Y2K.

Joe Barchini starts slamming his fist on the mat, trying to get Y2K to move. Y2K slowly starts moving, and throws an arm over Hollywood’s chest, as Referee Hall dives to the mat.

One

.

Two

.

Hollywood some how gets a shoulder up. Y2K slowly starts to get to his feet, as Hollywood just lies there. Y2K stumbles over to Hollywood, and grabs him by the hair, lifting him to his feet. Y2K stuffs Hollywood’s head in between his legs, and wraps his arms around Hollywood’s waist. Y2K lifts Hollywood onto his shoulders, and snaps him down, power-bombing him onto his shoulders/neck.

King: NOW, Hollywood is dead.

Axis: That might be it.

Y2K falls over Hollywood’s bent up body, as Referee Hall dives to the mat.

One

.

Two

.

Hollywood pushes Y2K off of him. Y2K stands, looking down at Hollywood. Y2K grabs one of Hollywood’s arms and legs, and drags him over to the corner of the ring. Y2K lets Hollywood go, and steps through the ropes onto the apron. Y2K climbs up to the top rope, and balances himself out. Y2K does a front somersault and drops down onto Hollywood, nailing a Firebird Splash.

King: Oh Yeah.

Axis: Great looking Firebird Splash.

King: Hollywood is a done.

Edwin: You never know….

King: I never know? HE’S DONE.

Y2K lies cockily on top of Hollywood, as Referee Hall dives to the mat.

One

.

Two

.

Hollywood gets a foot on the bottom rope. Y2K gets up, looking at the referee in disbelief, as Joe Barchini slaps the apron, yelling that it was a three. Y2K grabs Hollywood and pulls him up to his feet. Hollywood pushes Y2K into the ropes, and whips him off the ropes. Hollywood bounces off the ropes, and comes running back to Y2K. Y2K goes for a clothesline, but Hollywood ducks it, and runs into the ropes. Y2K turns to Hollywood, and ducks his head. Hollywood comes running back to Y2K, and uses Y2K’s back for leverage and does a moonsault over him. Y2K quickly turns around, only to be met by a superkick to the jaw that knocks him down. Hollywood falls to the mat, exhausted from the previous assault.

Edwin: Hollywood is still in the game.

King: Don’t worry, Y2K will come back and win this. Just watch.

Axis: Well, whoever gets up first, will have the advantage. Both Y2K and Spike are down, and both are tired.

King: Hollywood is more tired.

Edwin: No, Y2K is.

King: What is this? A challenge?

Edwin: Yeah, I bet you that Hollywood will beat Y2K.

King: Oh you’re on. Ha, you got a jobber.

Edwin: Oh yeah, well, your guy is a loser, and he sucks.

King: Oh, how original.

Hollywood slowly makes it to his feet, as Y2K lies there. Hollywood steps over to Y2K, and turns his back towards him. Hollywood then does a standing moonsault on top of Y2K. Hollywood hooks his leg, and Referee Hall dives to the mat.

One

.

Two

.

Axis: Hollywood might have him here

.

Y2K gets a shoulder up. Hollywood stands, looking out into the crowd. Hollywood walks over to the corner, and springboards up to the top turnbuckle. He positions himself up. Y2K slowly stands, and turns towards Hollywood. Hollywood jumps off the top rope towards Y2K, and attempts a top rope cross body, but Y2K dives under Hollywood, and Hollywood lands chest first onto the mat. Hollywood stands quickly, holding his ribs in pain, as Y2K hurries behind him. Y2K hooks his arms around Hollywood’s waist, and lifts him into the air, dropping him back onto his neck.

Edwin: What a German suplex!

King: Now you wish that you chose a WINNER.

Y2K holds onto Hollywood, bridging the German suplex. Referee Hall dives to the ground.

One

.

Two

.

King: COME ON BABY.

.

Hollywood somehow rolls out of it.

Edwin: YES!

King: What a slow count, damnit.

Y2K stands, pissed off that he didn’t get the win right there. Y2K walks over to the corner, and steps out through the ropes onto the apron. Y2K climbs the ropes, and stands on the top rope. Hollywood stands, with his back turned towards Y2K, holding the back of his head. Hollywood turns, and Y2K jumps at him, going for a cross body of his own, but Hollywood jumps into air, and dropkicks Y2K in the ribs in mid-air, causing him to crash to the mat. Y2K rolls around on the mat, holding his ribs in pain. Hollywood stands quickly, and runs into the opposite direction. Hollywood bounces into the ropes, and runs back towards Y2K. Hollywood does a quick roll, jumping out of the roll, and hits a senton splash onto Y2K’s ribs.

Axis: Rolling Thunder!

Edwin: Oh Yeah.

King: Damnit

Edwin: Get ready to lose pal.

Hollywood turns around, and lays on top of Y2K, holding him down for the pin. Referee Hall jumps to the ground, to make the count.

One

.

Two

.

King: NOOOOO

.

Joe Barchini grabs Y2K’s foot, and places it under the bottom rope. Joe then starts screaming at the referee. Referee Hall notices the foot on the ropes, and stops the count.

King: Joe Barchini is the smartest man alive.

Axis: But he isn’t the luckiest man.

Hollywood slides out of the ring and looks at Joe. Joe starts to run around the ring, and Hollywood runs after him.

King: Run Joe Run

Edwin: Hollywood is going to be the crap out of him.

Y2K slowly makes it to his feet, as Joe slides into the ring. Hollywood slides in after him, and runs at him in the ring, but Y2K comes out of nowhere, and takes Hollywood’s head off with a clothesline. Joe quickly slides out of the ring, as Y2K hooks Hollywood’s leg.

One

.

Two

.

Hollywood kicks out.

King: Come on Y2K.

Edwin: I’m telling you, Hollywood has this match in the bag.

Axis: Both of them are pretty even.

Y2K stands, grabbing Hollywood by the hair, and lifting him to his feet. Y2K lifts Hollywood into the air, attempting a power slam, but Hollywood falls out behind him, holding his head under his arm. Hollywood then spins, doing a quick neck breaker to Y2K.

Axis: Old School Expulsion. Kudos to Steve Corino.

King: Christ, come on Y2K.

Hollywood puts an arm over Y2K’s chest.

One

.

Two

.

Y2K somehow kicks out. Hollywood gets to his feet, and grabs Y2K by his hair, but Y2K low blows Hollywood, knocking Hollywood to the ground, holding his groin.

Edwin: Come on ref.!

King: Y2K just outsmarted Hollywood.

Axis: Come on, he just low blowed Hollywood, that’s so cheap.

King: Whatever gets the job done.

Y2K slowly rolls under the bottom rope to the apron, and lies there trying to catch his breath, as Joe Barchini runs over to check on him. Hollywood starts to get on his knees, as Y2K pulls himself up onto the apron. Y2K slowly starts to climb the ropes, as Hollywood stands. Hollywood walks over to Y2K, and gives him a quick punch to the face. He gives Y2K another quick punch to the face, and then climbs up to the second rope.

Axis: They are both, going back up top.

Edwin: Umm, King, I don’t think this will be too good for our bet.

King: Something tells me your right….

Hollywood is now standing on the top rope, and he pulls Y2K up with him. Hollywood hooks Y2K’s arm with his, and he hip tosses him off the top rope, but Hollywood jumps with him, and is able to put Y2K between his legs, as the both crash down into the mat. The crowd starts giving a “Holy Shit” chant going.

Axis: Oh man, Hollywood just used some kind of inverted hip toss power bomb to Y2K off the top rope. That’s insane.

Edwin: Both men are out of it.

King: Come on Y2K, you can still do it…

Hollywood kicks Y2K, shoving him into the middle of the ring, as Joe Barchini is going insane outside the ring. Hollywood slides under the bottom rope onto the apron. He pulls himself up using the ropes, and slowly climbs to the top rope. Hollywood stands on the top rope, looking down at Y2K. Joe Barchini is screaming at Y2K to move out of the way as Hollywood stands on the top rope.

Axis: This may be his finishing move.

King: Noooo

Edwin: Come on Hollywood.

Hollywood leaps off the top rope, pumping his arms and legs together, and then spreading them back out, as he comes crashing down across Y2K’s chest with his frog splash.

Axis: The Ratings Grabber!!

Edwin: YES!

King: NO!

Hollywood stands on his knee’s holding his ribs in pain, but falls over onto Y2K, as Referee Hall dives to the floor, making the count.

One

.

Two

.

King: DO SOMETHING JOE!

.

Three!!!!!!

* Ding * Ding * Ding *

Hollywood rolls off of Y2K and stands up, using one hand to hold his ribs, as his other is raised in the air. Joe Barchini slides into the ring, and runs at Hollywood. Hollywood side steps him, and Joe runs into the ropes. Joe bounces back and Hollywood superkicks him in the jaw, knocking him down, as “Peace Not Greed” by Kottonmouth Kings starts playing again.

Edwin: Joe Barchini just got his big head knocked off.

King: This sucks.

Edwin: Hey, I won the bet.

King: Yeah, too bad we didn’t bet anything.

Axis: He has you there.

Edwin: Damnit…

King: I’m so smart, I’m the smartest man ALIVE.

Hollywood uses the top rope to springboard to the floor, and starts walking backstage.

June 28, 2002

Axis: And we’re back. I’m Axis, and I’m joined at ringside by my two esteemed colleagues, Edwin...

Edwin: BOOYAH!!

Axis: ... and The Suicide King...

King: Don’t you even look at me!

Axis (after a slight pause): Tonight we have some terrific match-ups and next up we have sWo member Poisyn, taking on the God of Thunder, Thor!

Edwin: The last few events, the gargantuan god Thor has hit a bit of a stumbling block in TV Champion Mak Francis.

King: It seems that “The Franchise” is just a bit too much for Thor to overcome, I’d wager. The influence of Wilson on the sWo, might be too strong for anyone to overcome, even a god!

Axis: At any rate Thor gets to extract a certain amount of revenge by facing another sWo member in Poisyn. Here we go!

Funyon steps through the ropes and adjusts his crushed red velvet suit. He brings the mic slowly to his lips as his booming voice rings out “Ladies and Gentlemen! This match is scheduled for one fall!”

The lights go out and the opening guitar lines of Hoobastank’s “Crawling in the Dark” play. The crowd realizes whose entrance they are witnessing and begin to hail boos. Thick smoke billows out of the stage entrance, illuminated by the dim lights of the stage. Poisyn then steps out from the cover of the smoke, by his side his girlfriend Brianna Flynn. As they emerge a green pulsating light illuminates them. They walk down the aisle and Poisyn enters the ring. He takes off his sleeveless t-shirt and hands it through the ropes to Brianna, as she gives him a small peck on the cheek, emanating more boos from the crowd. Funyon speaks once again, “In the ring, he weighs in at 229 pounds... POIIIISSYYYYN!!” the crowd again refuels their boos upon the waiting Poisyn.

“And his opponent...” The lights once again go out and a blue spotlight shines on the entrance ramp, the dark chords of “God of Thunder” by KISS rock the speakers and the crowd erupts in cheers for the Thunder God. As the music starts to drive, a lightning bolt strikes the entrance ramp with a huge crack. Then as Gene Simmons’ frightening vocals wail, Thor himself steps through the curtain. The crowd’s cheers double as he makes his way down the entrance ramp and stops to inspect a sign, painstakingly created by a young boy, no more than five. Thor grabs the sign, which reads simply “THOR” and holds it for all the crowd to see, especially for Poisyn’s glance. He then hands the sign back to the child, smiles warmly and gives a high five to the youngster before continuing his march to the ring. Funyon says with a bit of a smile on his face “... he weighs in at a crushing 345 pounds! He is the Norse God of Thunder... THOOOORRR!!!” The crowd wails out a sea of cheers and applause as Thor steps over the top rope and stands arms folded, inspecting his opponent, who inspects Thor as well. Thor hands his cape and enormous hammer to the ring manager and the ring bell sounds, signaling the start of the match.

DING DING DING!!

Axis: This should be a terrific contest folks, both competitors are just coming off of losses so both Poisyn and Thor should be looking to score a big win tonight.

Edwin: Poisyn will have to show that he can also slay the giant, just like fellow stable-mate Mak Francis. Though that is not as easy as it sounds.

King: Poisyn’s fast paced style should be able to throw the behemoth off his “A” game.

Thor walks to the middle of the ring and Poisyn circles around him, looking for an opening. He motions as though he is going for a leg sweep, but moves right back to where he was. He continues to circle Thor, sizing him up, and then sees his opening and kicks Thor in the back of the knee, staggering him. Poisyn grabs Thor and executes a quick side Russian leg sweep, taking himself and Thor to the mat. Poisyn then gets up and hits a leg drop to the sternum of Thor. Amazingly Thor sits up and gets caught with a vicious kick to the head by Poisyn, knocking him back down. Poisyn gets a smile in the corner of his mouth and goes to pick up Thor by his red hair. Thor snaps his arm up and catches Poisyn around the throat with his big hand. Poisyn looks surprised as Thor sits up, his hand still around the mortal’s throat. He then stands and lifts Poisyn off of his feet with one hand and brings him back to Earth with a chokeslam. The crowd shouts their approval.

Axis: Poisyn driven hard to the mat by Thor.

King: Thor wont be ahead for long. Once Poisyn hits Thor with the Venom Drop, Thor will be sent packing back home to Asgard.

Edwin: Thor takes guff from no one King. Well, except for maybe Mak Francis, but he cheated for both victories.

Poisyn reaches his feet and punches the surprised Thor several times in the head, staggering him, while Poisyn bounces off the ropes and comes back with a high cross body block. Thor catches Poisyn and flips him over his head in a fall away slam. The crowd cheers as Thor stands and walks to Poisyn’s head and helps him up. Thor whips his opponent into the ropes and gets ready to catch Poisyn in a bearhug. He takes two steps forward and Poisyn slides between his feet and kicks Thor in the kidney and then another of the same kicks to the other kidney, followed by a dropkick knocking Thor forward into the ropes. Thor holds onto the ropes to hold himself still and prevent him from bouncing. Poisyn jumps to the top turnbuckle while Thor is on the ropes and waits for Thor to come nearer to him. Thor turns slowly around and Poisyn leaps from the top, but gets clobbered by a spear from Thor, knocking the sWo member into the turnbuckles. Thor lays on the mat for a minute but then stands triumphant as the fans resound their approval of Thor.

Axis: Thor is relentless in his punishment of the sWo member Poisyn.

Edwin: Yes, Thor is certainly focused on his match tonight.

King: Poisyn should be doing better here, Thor is just yesterday’s news.

Axis: Ever hear that statement about not counting your chickens before they hatch King?

King: Chickens? I don’t have any bloody chickens you fool.

Axis under his breath: That’s what I thought...

By this time Poisyn has reached his feet and catches Thor on the turnaround with a superkick to the jaw, rocking the God of Thunder and staggering him. Poisyn then runs off the ropes and jumping a bit in the air, catching Thor with a tornado DDT and bringing him to the mat. Poisyn goes to the turnbuckle and climbs them quickly, he turns around and leaps off, getting incredible elevation and landing on Thor with a perfect five-star frog splash. The Poisyn Drop gets perfectly executed on Thor. Poisyn goes for the cover.

1

.

2

Thor kicks out with authority, sending Poisyn flying. Poisyn looks at Thor an gets an idea. He runs to the ropes and leaps in the air and lands in a leg drop. Only he descends and hits nothing but mat, as Thor sat up right before the move was struck. The crowd grows very vocal as they see Thor sitting up. Poisyn gets up quickly, as does Thor, as they stare each other down.

Axis: Poisyn goes for the leg drop, but nobody’s home.

Edwin: Gotta like the determination of Poisyn in this match, he is determined not to lose.

King: And with good reason. I don’t think that Wilson and the other sWo members would be too happy with another loss by Poisyn.

Thor kicks Poisyn in the abdomen and grabs him by his strawberry blonde hair and tucks his head between his legs. Thor then lifts his opponent up and brings his back down hard with a powerbomb. Thor stops for a second and hits Poisyn with an elbow drop. He stands and hits another elbow drop. He goes for a third, but Poisyn rolls out of the way, causing Thor to punish nothing but canvas. Poisyn gets up, using the ropes for assistance. Thor has stood up now, but Poisyn runs to his ropes, flips using his hands for propulsion and lands with a hurrincanrana twisting Thor to the mat. Poisyn stands and charges at the now kneeling Thor and leaps in the air, but is caught in the massive arms of Thor. Thor adjusts his catch in his arms and locks his hands tightly around the chest of Poisyn. He squeezes away, forcing the breath out of the body of Poisyn. Thor leans back and wrenches his grip even tighter on Poisyn, whose face is now struggling and reddish purple. Poisyn quickly delivers a kick to the groin of Thor and Thor releases the hold and falls to the mat in pain. The referee gives Poisyn a talking to about where not to kick his opponent. Poisyn then pushes the ref to the side and starts laying stiff kicks to Thor’s side. Thor grabs Poisyn’s foot and uses his sheer mass to flip Poisyn off his feet, shoving him backwards and falling on his rear. Thor stands and points a lone finger at Poisyn, giving him a stare that could melt ice. The crowd gets thoroughly and intimidatingly behind Thor.

Edwin: OOH that is not a happy look from the God of Thunder!

Axis: Indeed, Thor seems to be wrestling with a purpose here tonight.

King: Bah! The fans don’t really care about Thor. They’re just using him to get at the people they don’t like.

Poisyn, still looking at Thor’s glare stands up. Poisyn then suddenly charges at Thor but Thor moves to the side allowing Poisyn to bounce off the opposing ropes. Poisyn continues to move, gaining momentum with every step, and bounces off the other ropes, but this time Thor is waiting and catches him with a stiff European uppercut, literally reversing Poisyn’s momentum and sending him off his feet flying backwards into the ropes. Poisyn stands holding onto the ropes and grabs his jaw, adjusting it from left to right. Thor then charges like a freight train at Poisyn who is distracted with his jaw, and clotheslines him over the top rope to the unforgiving floor below right in front of the ramp. Thor wastes little time and steps over the top rope and then to the floor. The referee starts his count the instant Thor’s boots hit the floor. Thor grabs Poisyn to his feet and goes to whip him into the steel steps, but somehow Poisyn reverses it and Thor goes flying into them, his knees hitting the top and the rest of Thor’s massive frame flips over the top.

Axis: Ouch, Thor viciously whipped into the steel steps. You’ve got to wonder how much each competitor can take here.

Edwin: Well both men are determined enough to get this job done and... King, you’re awful quiet tonight.

King is sitting with his feet on the announcers table playing what appears to be a game-boy advanced. He can be heard muttering: Come on Frogger, jump you worthless toad! JUMP!!

Axis and Edwin try asking for their turn to play while Thor slowly reaches his feet. The referee shouts “5... 6...” Thor rolls in the ring under the bottom rope and the referee stops counting. Poisyn steps up onto the ring apron, and Thor walks over to him swiftly. Thor and Poisyn trade blows for a minute, but Thor finally takes the advantage. Thor puts his hand over Poisyn’s neck and grabs his tights, he then elevates him in a suplex, moving him over the ropes and Thor holds him over his head for what seems like an eternity. Finally he brings him down in a beautiful suplex. The crowd cheers as Thor steps back from the fallen opponent and soaks up the enthusiasm of the crowd. Poisyn then very slowly gets to his feet. He sort of stumbles over to Thor but he shakes off his mental fog and catches Thor with an elbow to the mid-section, staggering the three hundred and fifty pounder. He then seizes the moment and catches Thor with a super kick to the jaw, rocking the big man and taking him down to his knees. Poisyn emits a grin and kicks Thor very quickly and effectively once in the side of the chest and once in the shoulder on each side of Thor then he runs to the ropes and comes back with a dropkick, flipping Thor over onto his back.

Axis: Poisyn has really found Thor’s weakness, stay moving and you can throw Thor off his game plan.

Edwin: That’s the way to do it. Thor, like most big guys is distracted and confused by fast moving shiny objects. Isn’t that right King. *Edwin takes his SWF championship belt and positions it in the light so that it shines in King’s face*

King: What?? Ahhh shiny! *King tries to grab at the illuminate light but is unable to grasp it*

Poisyn notices his opponent is laying by the ropes and gets inspired. He runs full speed at the opposing ropes and leaps onto the second rope. It sends him flying back and he executes a shocking Withered, onto the helpless immortal. Poisyn goes for the cover.

1

.

2

.

Thor kicks out at two and a half. Poisyn’s face is disbelieving. He gets a tad frustrated and stands over Thor. Poisyn attempts to grab Thor by his hair, but Thor sits up and headbutts Poisyn, knocking him back a few steps. Thor quickly gets to his feet and Poisyn gives him a vicious right to the head. Thor remains standing, unimpressed. Poisyn throws another right catching Thor in the side of the face. Thor’s face is moved, but he quickly snaps it back, now smiling at Poisyn, who for his part, is shocked that is strongest shots aren’t enough to even stagger the big man. The crowd cheers louder with every movement of Thor. Thor now feeds Poisyn for another shot. Poisyn rears back, but tries to throw Thor off his game with a left, but Thor catches it with his big mitt of a hand and squeezes it. Poisyn is hurting now, he makes horrible faces of agony as Thor just keeps wrenching away. Thor then whips Poisyn by his now squashed hand into the turnbuckle. Poisyn hits the turnbuckle hard and Thor walks over to him. The crowd cheers as they can be sure of what to expect.

Axis: I think I know what’s going to happen ‘ere.

Edwin: The Early Winter?!?!

King: The Galatea Special?!?!

Axis: Umm... no. Thor is ...going to chop Poisyn... across the chest.

Edwin and King: Aww man!

As astonishingly predicted by Axis Thor indeed rears back his big right hand and brings it back across the chest of Poisyn with a loud and sickening crack. The crowd gives they’re usual “WHOOO!!” Thor brings back his hand again and again it comes across Poisyn’s chest with the same crack. Another “WHOOO!!” is drawn from the crowd. Thor reaches back again but this time Poisyn raises his hand to block the arm of Thor and Poisyn reverses position with the monster. Poisyn slaps Thor across the chest, but to no avail. Thor just looks contemptly at him while one lone fan near the front yells “WHOOO!!” but he is immediately silenced by a slap to the back of the head by a neighboring fan. Poisyn reaches back again, but this time Thor grabs him by the face and shoves him to his rear. Poisyn stands up and charges at Thor, but Thor sees Poisyn’s move coming and goes for a back body drop... except Poisyn hangs on. He wraps his arms around Thor’s waist and his legs around his head. Thor delivers several back elbows, attempting to dislodge the man attached to his back. He finally loosens Poisyn’s grip and then grabs Poisyn’s feet and flips him forward, his back crashing to the canvas. The fans roar their applause.

Axis: Oi! What a move by Thor. Poisyn flipped over Thor’s back and crashing hard to the mat.

Edwin: And listen to those fans! They really like Thor. Almost as much as they love me! *Edwin stands up and faces the crowd behind the announcers, gives a dashing smile, polishes his SWF championship belt and winks at the crowd. They are silent. He then yells “LONG DOGGER PETE!!!” and the crowd releases a torment of cheers*

King: *cough* cheap pop! *cough*

Edwin: You know it Kingy!

Poisyn slowly gets to his knees and Thor crouches down in the opposite corner and waits for Poisyn to fully arise. When he does, Thor swoops down like a huge, three hundred and forty five pound, red headed, bird of prey and delivers a perfect super kick to the jaw of Poisyn. He falls slowly backwards and exactly when he hits the mat, Thor points to the opposite turnbuckle. The crowd cheers and their applause grows with each step Thor takes up the turnbuckles. When he reaches the top, he turns around and his target has moved. Poisyn then appears right within Thor’s eyesight and jumps from the ground and delivers a dropkick, causing Thor to lose his balance and crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. The male portion of the audience releases a cry of pain for Thor as Poisyn grabs Thor by the head and pulls him down, drilling Thor to the mat with a picture perfect Memory. The crowd boos at Poisyn with a hatred generally reserved for Adolf Hitler or X-Pac. Poisyn thinks nothing of it as he dashes to the opposite turnbuckle and leaps onto the top. He turns around very quickly, he pushes off with his legs as hard as he can and gets an incredible amount of elevation. Mid air, he brings his hands and his knees together and then cuts a flip, landing on Thor with a senton bomb. Poisyn has hit the Venom Drop.

Axis: THE VENOM DROP!! Its all over for Thor!! Poisyn has hit the Venom Drop!!

Edwin: Thor put up one hell of a contest here on Metal, but the fight is lost.

King: I knew Poisyn wouldn’t let me down! Haha, Edwin you will no longer hold the sWo down! Poisyn has beaten a God!!

Poisyn lays on the mat beside Thor for a few seconds and then finds the remaining strength to toss his arm over Thor’s chest for the cover.

1

.

2

.

Thor kicks out just in the nick of time. The fans go bananas as they see Thor kick out, and Poisyn sits on in awe, staring at Thor who kicked out of his finisher. Poisyn, now frustrated, gets up and kicks Thor wickedly in the stomach, while the ref tries to talk some sense into him. Thor then gets up, holding his stomach, and catches the distracted Poisyn with his two big hands around his neck. He lifts Poisyn up and then brings him down to the mat in a sit-out choke bomb. Thor then gets to his feet and walks to the turnbuckle once again. The fans start a “GOD OF THUNDER!!” chant as he scales the turnbuckles. When he reaches the top, he turns and holds his arm to the heavens and then leaps off, camera flashes illuminate the Thunder God as he sails down to the ring. He lands with his Crack of Thunder elbow drop directly on Poisyn as the fans pop like tires. Thor goes for the cover.

1

.

The referee is distracted by Poisyn’s lady Brianna Flynn. She is yelling at the ref in a high-pitched, nasally voice. She is trying to say that Thor cheated some how or another. Thor gets to his feet and walks to the woman, who by now is frightened out of her wits by the enormous figure foreboding over her. She lets out a slight shriek as she hops back down to the ground. Thor turns to go back to his opponent, but Poisyn is right there and spits a red mist in Thor’s face. Thor has been hit by Your Poisyn! Thor stumbles backwards and grunts as he tries to wipe the fluid from his eyes.

Edwin: YOUR POISYN!! YOUR POISYN!!

Axis: A red mist covering the face of Thor, neatly applied by Poisyn.

King: Wait... I get it now! It’s called “Your Poisyn”... and its by the wrestler Poisyn! Betcha didn’t notice that before did ya?

Axis: Nope... I had no idea...

As Thor is trying to remove the liquid, Poisyn is ready to go and runs to the ropes and comes back at a blind Thor, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick. Poisyn gets right back up and jumps to the top turnbuckle. Poisyn then leaps off and onto Thor, nailing a shooting star press. Both men lay motionless on the mat for a minute and then finally Poisyn hooks the leg and makes the cover.

1

.

2

.

Thor gets his foot on the ropes and the referee notices it. Poisyn stands up and talks trash to the ref on how he should count faster. Thor has risen behind Poisyn and grabs him from behind and pulls him down onto his knee in a back breaker, Thor does not allow Poisyn to fall to the mat as he picks him up with both hands and elevates him high in the air. As Thor presses Poisyn the crowd chants. Thor presses him once, the crowd yells “ONE!!” Thor presses him again, the crowd chants “TWO!!” Thor attempts to press him a third time but Poisyn catches Thor with a kick to the head which causes Thor to drop him, and for Poisyn to make the cover.

1

.

2

.

Thor unbelievably kicks out at two and three quarters. Poisyn is shocked as Thor stands up, roars to the heavens and moves at Poisyn with a big boot to the face, knocking Poisyn down. Thor picks the sWo member up by his hair and tucks his head between his legs. Thor hoists Poisyn’s body up and holds him, around his waist, facing out. Thor then makes a small jumping motion and lands, sitting on his rear and on Poisyn’s head, which was driven to the mat with a vicious Ragnarok piledriver. Thor hooks the leg for the cover.

1

.

Edwin: I don’t believe it!

2

.

King: NO!! Kick out dammit!

3

Thor gains the victory over the sWo member Poisyn. The referee walks to a slowly standing Thor and holds up his hand signifying victory. Funyon then steps in the ring and says into his mic “Your winner of the match... THOOOOORRR!!!” The crowd pops into unbelievable cheers and applause as Thor stands mid-ring with his arm raised.

Axis: Wow, an incredible victory from Thor here tonight. Hitting that vicious Ragnarok piledriver on Poisyn. It was a true give and take match, with no man being in a solid lead for any length of time.

Edwin: Yes, well I believe we all learned a valuable lesson tonight.

King: To steer clear of the sWo?

Axis progressively trailing off: Not to eat so much crackers and cheese because no matter how many crackers you eat to even it out you still cant poop for a week...

King and Edwin stare at Axis.

King: What the bloody hell are you talking about?

Axis: WHAT?!?! Oh me... long story. Don’t ask...

Edwin: No I’m definitely going to ask. This should be interesting.

Axis: I said forget it, we’ll be right back.

June 28, 2002

Ced v Silent -

Let me just say this... it involves both of these men, a large goat, two gallons of Clorox, and the Cock.

June 28, 2002

Note from Writer to Readers: Please, I am sorry for the suckiness of this match. Due to some shit that was mostly my fault, I ended up having to type 90% of this in the last hour and a half, or else me and Z would be de-bumped. If you seem to notice that everything goes downhill and is rushed EXACTLY after the bell rings, you’re only thinking the truth. Hopefully however, this is so pitifully stupid that it will come off as semi-humorous.

Ahem, enjoy [or don’t, more accurately] SNOOCH TO THE NOONCH!

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS UNUSUALLY HIGH DOSES OF ALL OUT LUNACY

Peoples who abide by such tendencies as “logic,” “law of physics,” or “soberness” are advised to go shuffleboarding instead.

*BOOM*

A thunderous expulsion of fiery metal residuals splashes onto the screen, caused by not pyro, just some prick blowing up a lime green Civic Honda near the exterior of the Fantabulous Arena Of Fun. The camera pans the outside of what appears to be just a dilapidated house, stopping short at a shady red brick wall, in which “SJL Metal! Sold Out!” remains sprawled across the eroding fortification in neon pink shade of spray paint. The screen cuts to the decaying interior of the “arena, displaying an audience of hundreds, as various signs such as “SNK FOREVER!” “THOTH OWNZ JOOS!” and “THERE’S REALLY NO POINT OF SUCKING UP IN A JOINT MATCH YOU MORONS.” The camera drapes itself above the usual gang of idiots, who all remain shooing away various assortments of rodents.

Edwin [forcing a smile]: “Welcome back ladies, gents, and everything in between to SJL Metal! Coming to you LIVE from the Fantabulous Arena Of Fun located in Miami…”

Axis: “Oh shut your pie hole Edwin we’re in your fucking basement.”

King: “It smells, there’re rats everywhere, and your mom keeps trying to go down on me.”

Edwin: “Ahem. What we’ve got next is a matchup comprised of complete insanity and drunkenness as SJL bumpees Z and TNT fight to the death…or to the pinfall, depending on which occurs first. Wowza. This match is hotter than Carmen Electra in the Sierra Desert, as these to have been feuding for weeks and now at the pinnacle of their feud…”

King: “What are you talking about? The match is a thrown-together train wreck.”

Edwin: “…Ahem. Funyon.”

Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen and Suicide King…this match is scheduled for one fall and is a completely generic and uninteresting load of…”

“WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!” an upbeat voice rings throughout the building. The initial beats of “Epic” by Faith No More resoundingly blast from Edwin’s surround sound set, as the mysterious being’s vocals ring out once more…”AND NOW, THE MAN OF THE HOUR, THE KING OF THE TOWER, TOO SWEET TO BE SOUR! Z!!!” The audience pops like a cherry…no, two cherries as a small, rather wimpy-looking figure emerges from the depths of the backstage area, camouflaged jacket gracefully flowing behind its munchkin-like posture, microphone pressed near its lips, speaking in a rather incoherent fashion while trotting down the entrance ramp.

Z: “Hello Miami! The Z-ster is in da hizzouse! [cheers] As some of, hell, all of you know, this is, sadly…”

Suddenly, Z falls to his loser-knees, his loser-face consumed in the pits of his protective loser-palms, loser-tears streaming down his loser-face. His hands still shaking uncontrollably, the one letter wonder desperately manages to bring the microphone back up to his lips, though his hands tremble with distraught gloominess, continuing his little montage.

Z [sobbing]: “This is my last match in the SJL! [disappointed boo]”

In an instant, a broad smile paints itself across Z’s [as Alex of A Clockwork Orange would phrase it] gulliver, as he wipes away at his tears with the outer-layer of his clothing.

Z: “Now, being that as true as it is, do you really think that the all-mighty Zed of the Canucks is going to out in the norm of fashion?”

A thunderous “HELL NO!” is spewed from the collective being that is the crowd, as Z nods his head in approval.

Axis: “…Just what is Z thinking inside of that screwed-up mind of his?”

King: “Probably of porn, my guess anyway…”

Z slides into the ring, positioning himself in an erect [no not that way, well, MAYBE that way if King’s predictions were correct] posture.

Z: “NO! You see lads and…um…lad-ies, I have officially just turned this confrontation into an anything goes, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCHUP! That’s right ladies and…”

“Who do you think you are?”

Axis: “Edwin, what are you doing?”

A quick cut to the announcer’s table reveals that Edwin has apparently risen from his seat, and has acquired a microphone!

Edwin [appalled, and entering the ring]: “Now you can’t decide this! I am the commissioner of this federation dammit! [handing a contract to Z] we are under leagal agreement that I, and ONLY I can decide what…”

As Eddie Mac continues to babble, Z glances downward at his received contract, quickly scanning it. Z shrugs, and begins folding the parchment of paper material in an airplane design.

Edwin: “And THAT is what a blinky is.”

Z [yawning]: “Finished?”

Edwin: “Yes.”

Z: “Well allow me to retort.”

Z reels back with the contract in hand, only now the contract has been accurately shaped into a 747! Z catapults the paper airplane towards Edwin, as it aimlessly soars, wavering left and right! Edwin recoils backwards, but his action proves to be too little too late as the tip of the flying vehicle plunges into his left eye!

Edwin: “Gah!”

Edwin jumps back in anguish, grasping at his eye as he topples over the ring ropes, and down to the outskirts of the ring!

Z: “Falls Count Anywhere it is then.”

“Indeedy doo!” a mysterious voice yelps out in an intimidating tone.

Z: “Huh?”

TNT: “You know Z I’ve wanted this match for a long time…”

Z: “Where are you?”

TNT: “One after one, so many have fallen…”

Z: “Where are you?”

TNT: “Leaving a trail of fiery debris behind me…”

Z: “Where are you?”

TNT: “All have watched me win…”

Z: “Where are you?”

TNT: “All have watched me lose…”

Z: “Where are my underpants?”

TNT: “But now it is YOUR turn…to watch me…EXPLODE!!!”

Z: “Where are you?”

TNT: “I am up, I am down, I am all around…wait, no, the second one.”

“Da dum.”

The audience glares at the ring in confusion as the familiar beats of the Jaws theme song flood the crowd’s ears…

“Da dum da dum da dum da dum.”

Just as the beat increases in both speed and intensity, Z lunges backwards in shock, grasping at a single pained foot.

King: “What the hell is that?”

Axis: “I think it’s a…fin?”

Edwin: “…This is shaping out to be the dumbest match ever and it hasn’t even started yet.”

“Da dum da dum da dum da dum.”

The blade, oddly shaped like a jet black shark fin, precariously tears through the white ring apron, as it rips through the mat like Munich ripping into everyone he knows in his retirement post. The fin wavers a bit, and then collects a steady pace, circling the awestruck Z!

Edwin: “Man, Looney Tunes spots are so cool.”

The blade reaches the end of its course, creating a circular ditch in the ring, directly under Z! The cut mat residuals that remain limply fall into the ditch, as Z stands in mid-air for an instant, Wile E. Coyote style, and tumbles into the pit himself! An awkward silence falls among the audience, but suddenly an anvil of boos squashes TNT as he lunges out of the hole, the Jaws-esque fin strapped to his back! Taylor snickers mischievously, cackling in an evil fashion as he yelps out a single “KABOOM!” to the negatory audience. Taylor reaches a single, muscularly chiseled arm back into the depths of what looks like the ring’s vagina, and heaves up the stunned Z, rolling him onto the mat. Taylor stands to his feet, removes his strapped on fin, hurling it into a mosh pit of hippies, the mafia, and nuns, and begins delivering several boots to the side of Z’s fragile rib cage! Z grimaces in pain, and the special guest bell ringer Bob Sagat chimes the metallic bell three times, signaling the start of the match…and then is mercessly shot down by the mafia, blown up by the hippies, and caned by the nuns, simply because he sucks oh-so very much.

*** DING DING DING ***

Axis: “And we’re off!”

Edwin [still holding his eye] “Do you think I’ll be able to see by the end of the night?”

King: “I hope not.”

Z and TNT circle eachother like South African polar bears, both focus their senses as their ears flair up, eyes squint, and mouths drool thick streams of saliva for some odd reason. Both stop dead in their tracks, positioned in the center of the ring, as they cautiously approach eachother. The grapplers exchange concentrated and intimidating glances, hinting at a stare down when suddenly…with one vertical thrusting motion of his left arm, and the other perceptibly positioned on his right hip, TNT strikes a Travolta!

Axis: “…”

King: “…”

Edwin: “…”

Taylor holds this disco-related stance for a few ticks of the little hand on a watch, causing the audience to politely clap, and within a second finds himself once again pacing back and forth, glancing at Z’s reply. Z stares blankly but suddenly gains a look of general knowledge on his face, as he paces over to the ropes. The Z-ster comes upon the multicolored bands, and clasps the top rope with the respectable palms of his hands. Z views the audience with a smirk, and suddenly pulls an Ultimate Warrior, rapidly shaking the top rope with his arms, letting out a mighty roar to the cheering crowd!

Edwin: “It appears to be…A POSE DOWN OF DOOM!”

Axis: “Oh God.”

The fans signify their approval with satisfied applaud, as TNT scowls at Z’s masterpiece, quickly codgering up a reply…

King: “How will Taylor come back after that? A Hulk Hogan ‘I can’t hear you?’ A Steve Austin ‘Stevewiser?’ A Stacey Keibler ass-flash? There’re just so many possibilities!”

TNT ponders to the point of his cranium exploding into brain remains, as suddenly, he gains a “Eureka expression on his goateed litso [again, as Alex of Clockwork Orange fame would call it,] and approaches the spotlighted vertex of the squared circle. Taylor smiles, and quickly drops to one knee! Thompson holds out a single hand in front of his face, dumbfoundingly gaping at it, his jaw dropped to the mat. Taylor quickly elevate both arms into the air, and in a relatively smooth break dance motion, pulls off a spinaroonie!

Axis: “Spinaroonie!”

King: “Spinaroonie!”

Both commentators stare at the gaping Eddie Mac, contemplating the brilliance of the move.

King [to Edwin]: “Ed, you forgot to mark out.”

Edwin: “Spinaroonie! Is that good Suicide?”

King: “Please, don’t call me Suicide.”

As SK shudders in raw disgust, the screen cuts back to the inside of the ring where Z already has slumped to the center of the ring…

Axis: “What can he possibly have in mind?”

King: “By the looks of it, something pretty messed up.”

Z leans to his left, bending his left knee, as in a Shawn Micheals moment; Z flexes his pitiful muscles while randomly signaled pyro pounce from behind him into the air, enlightening the entire scene!

Axis: “Gee, that was the biggest HBK rip-off since Suicide King.”

King: “Shut up hippy.”

Edwin: “Nonetheless, the fans seem to appreciate the perfection in which it was executed, and their reaction looks to lead to a sure win from Z!”

Axis: “Not that the pose down has ANYTHING to do with the rest of the matchup.”

Taylor instantly realizes his proverbial volcano of defeat, as he revs back and floors Z, snapping his neck back as his arm thumps across his forehead, sending him down with a short clothesline!

Axis: “And the real action appears to have begun!”

Thompson pounces upon the fallen Z, draping himself over the silly extravagant, plunging the pinnacle of his knuckles repeatedly into the gradually bruising forehead of Z! Taylor backs away from his previously left carnage, and leaps off of the mat, falling knee first into the groinial region of Z!

King: “Low blow! DQ him! DQ him!”

Axis: “It’s anything goes, remember King?”

Edwin [pointing at his bloodshot eye]: “I have scars to show for it.”

The testicularly pained circus midget that is Z manages to crawl to the feet of his opponent, gradually rising to his knees, begging TNT to stop! Taylor sees Z’s proposal of mercy, and lets out a mighty “KA…” Thompson’s victory roar is quickly interrupted by his opponent, as Z drives his arm upward, sinking it into the gonads of the dynamite warrior! Thompson himself falls to his own knees, as Z hammers a few right hands into the temple of his skull! Z grasps a single arm around Thompson’s thickened neck, forcing him into a side headlock, but Taylor breaks up the maneuver with a few repeated elbows to the unprotected rib cage of Zed. Both men retreat to separate corners, collecting themselves by climbing the sets of outskirt ropes, until they reach they’re feet. Both again find themselves towards the middle of the mat, staring vengefully at one another.

Axis: “Staredown! This is ~INTENSE!~”

King: “Wouldn’t it be funny if this was broken up by a hug or something?”

Both competitors remain in the center of the ring, as Z makes the first move, reeling back…

Axis: “…”

Edwin: “…”

King: “…”

Axis: “Z just kissed TNT on his fricken’ nose.”

King: “Just as I said!”

Edwin: “What? Are they performing requested spots or something?”

*** BEEP ***

Axis: “Um, we appear to be receiving a fax…”

Edwin spots the fax machine, in which a single crisp sheet of paper emits itself. Edwin grasps the artist-formerly-known-as-tree [the paper] and stares at it blankly…

King: “What does it say?”

Edwin: “It’s from Frost…ahem. ‘I would like to see a run-in from Bruce Campbell.”

Axis: “Of Evil Dead fame?”

Edwin: “…I suppose so…”

Meanwhile in the ring, TNT lunges back in disgust, wiping Z’s saliva from the tip of his schnozz. Both men pace around eachother, waiting for the first move to be mad when suddenly…

*** GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ***

*** PUT PUT PUT ***

“Damn chainsaw, never works properly.”

*** GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ***

“Ah, there we go.”

Just as the two wrestlers jump into a flurry of punches, Bruce Cambell himself lunges from the previously cut hold in the ring, chainsaw in hand! The saw rotates, as Bruce reels back, with his crosshairs set on Z-aroonie.

*** PUT PUT PUT ***

Bruce: “Damn it! Why won’t this work!? Oh well, I’ll just have to compromise.”

Cambell flips the saw around, now grasping the relatively harmless saw end, and in a swinging motion blasts the metallic handle end of the saw across the jaw of Z! Taylor let’s out a “Fuck you, you fuck eating, fuck faced, mother fucking fuck fucker!”

“Um, wait, I’m truly sorr…”

*** THWACK ***

“Snoozle snozzle!” Ash screams in a rather improvised fashion, as he hops the ring ropes, and sprints to the back, still holding his saw!

Axis: “And Ash from Evil Dead interferes!”

Frost [randomly popping his head up from underneath the announcer’s table]: “Woohoo!”

Edwin: “The result of this match all relies on who gets to their feetsies first!”

King: “And that’s TNT as he steadily gains his footing!”

Axis: “Taylor is about to make the cover…”

Edwin: “Hey, what’s that in the sky?”

Axis: “A bird!”

King: “A plain!”

Edwin: “…an anvil.”

Just as Edwin inquired, a misshapen hunk of iron spirals downward from the skies above, driving itself into the skull of TNT! Thompson flops downward, nearly dead, as the anvil tumbles to its side, splattered in the blood of TNT.

Axis: “…Okay.”

*** BEEP ***

Axis [sighing]: “Ugh, what does this one say?”

Edwin [reading]: “It’s from Mercury… Do a mercury style "piece of tape missing" wherein a spot in the middle of the match is completely missing.”

Axis: “Um…okay…I don’t really think that’s under the control of Z and TN…”

*** STATIC ***

The millions of viewers at home across the world from New Jersey to Zimbabwe persist to glare at the herd of ants that is static run across their screen for fifteen minutes, when suddenly…

*** STATIC ***

Axis: “Are we on?”

Edwin: “Me think so.”

Axis: “Ahem. Sorry ladies and gents, but you’ve missed a lot of action.”

King: “Action? Come on, Ced Ordonez drove down the ramp in a golf cart dressed as the Honky Tonk man, Z asked a fan if he wanted to cyber, Homer Simpson sang ‘Shake Yo Booty,’ and they’ve wrestled all the way out to Mr. Galatea’s private miniature golf course, located just outside the building.”

The screen flashes back on, revealing a bloodied TNT, just as he is Irish-whipped into a giant plastic model of a clown, who’s mouth, just small enough for a golf ball or Gary Coleman to enter, elevates up and down repeatedly. Thompson thuds against into the clown’s artificial nose headfirst!

Axis: “Ouch! What a shot!”

*** BEEP ***

Edwin: “It’s from Cutthroat…”

Axis: “Oh no.”

Edwin: “The only thing I can think of is King telling Edwin to look up and then King hits Edwin with a chair...’ pfft. That’s a stupid idea Cut…”

King: “Look up.”

Edwin: “Ok.”

*** THWACK ***

King: “Gotcha good!”

Axis: “He appears to be dead King, who’d gonna be the silly commentator now?”

“Munchy munchies…”

Axis: “Oh no.”

Into the camera’s point of view enters Pauly Shore, cautiously stepping over the corpse of MacPhisto, and taking a seat next to King.

Pauly: “Here I am to save the day-aroonie! Munchy munchies…”

King: “Can’t you use your op powers to ban him from the commentating table or something?”

”Actually, Axis just locked himself in a shed just now, I’m replacing him.”

King glances to his left, where an up-beat figure sits, speaking with his annoyingly screechy voice…

Gilbert: “That’s right! Gilbert Godfried is here to save the day!”

King: “…”

Pauly: “Woosh nosh nosh. Isn’t this funariffic?”

King: “…”

Gilbert: “By the way Shore, I’m a huge fan of your work, Bio Dome was genius.”

King: “…”

Pauly: “Thanks Gilby, may I call you Gilby? Thanks. You’re great too, I’m a big fanny, hehe, fanny…ahem, of Hollywood Squares.”

King [running off]: “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The camera cuts back to the in-ring…er…in-golf course action, where both men exchange Blinky’s at the edge of the course.

Pauly: “Snaboosh kanooj.”

Gilbert: “And TNT hurls Z into the center of the road! A decision as brilliant my signing to Aladdin 4!”

Pauly: “Man, you’re great as Iago. How’s it working with Robbin Williams.”

Gilbert: “He’s fine, but he steals all of my jokes.”

Z remains flat on his back, laying in the center of the road, as Thompson stalks after him, delivering a swift boot to the rib cage of Z! Z winces in anguish, but puts his hand down his cargo pants, evidentially searching for…

Gilbert: “Bah God! He’s got a pair of Chinese handcuffs!”

Pauly: “I am a Sherman tank!”

Z removes the long woven shaft from his pants, and slides it onto the finger of Taylor Nicholas Thompson, adjusting his knuckle into the other end! Thompson stares in shock as he instantly dashes down the road, attempting to break the cuffs! The Chinese mechanism hold itself together however, resulting in Z merely being dragged along the gravelly road, until the two reach a bus stop! Thompson, noticing a bus headed towards the stop, thrusts Z directly in front of the bus’s path of impending doom! Z flails in front of the bus, as it comes to a screeching halt mere inches from him! The door of the transportation slides open, when suddenly a large figure leaps from the bus, holding a much smaller figure in his arms! The mysterious man wears a leopard skin sarong, a ribbon of drool, two large splotches of red paint on his chest, and a Smokey The Bear Hat [all Raynor’s fault.] In the man’s arms, rests none other than Christopher Walken! Both Z and Taylor stare in disbelief as the man plunges Christopher Walken into the gut of Thompson, and gabs a hold of his arm, yanking the explosive one into the bus with him.

Gilbert: “Notice how Christopher Walken proves to be QUITE the choice for a projectile.”

The bus drives off, as a resounding voice cries out “NEXT STOP: BAYON NEW JERSEY!” followed by a collection of screams.

Ref: “Um…no contest?”

*** DING DING DING ***

Pauly: “…”

Gilbert: “…”

Edwin [waking up]: “Ugh. What happened?”

Gilbert: “IT was a no-contest.”

Edwin: “Well, I must say, though this match sucked the mean missile, loved the cock, AND was churned out a bland attempt at humor, these to deserve…”

Edwin hops over the commentating table, grabs a microphone and slides into the ring.

Edwin: “A COLLECTIVE RENDITION OF ‘We All Live In the Yellow Submarine!”

Suddenly, a herd of SJL and SWF wrestlers begin stumbling to the ring with a look of confusion on their faces. Hell, even H-Ville Thugg is wheeled out on a stretcher by the Perfect Bo, who seems to STILL be having sex with Lwanda, right across the chest of a disgusted Thugg.

Edwin: “Everyone stand up!”

The crowd stands up.

Edwin: “Everyone put their hand on their heart.”

The crowd puts their hands on their hearts.

Edwin: “Everyone say ‘Edwin ownz me.”

A collective “Fuck you” rings throughout the arena.

Edwin: “Well, it was worth a try. Ahem. One two three!

In the town where I was born

Lived a man who sailed to sea

And he told us of his life

In the land of submarines

So we sailed up to the sun

Till we found the sea of green

And we lived beneath the waves

In our yellow submarine

“ALL TOGETHER!”

We all live in our yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine…

~FIN~

June 28, 2002

*** Deep inside the Floridian arena, nothing of note is happening. We are between matches, and we're just about to see the returning Renegade take on the lovely Sydney Sky. ***

King: So he asks me "How does it feel?" And I say "It tickled a little but I couldn't sit down for DAYS!" And then, I --

Edwin: Hey, I think we're on.

King: … Oh no, I'm not falling for it THIS time!

*** The camera cuts to the announce table, where Edwin is helpfully pointing the little red light on top of the lens. ***

Edwin: We are, see?

Axis: All right, cut it out you two! It's been a great show thus far and we have seen a lot of GREAT in ring action, and coming up next, the return of Renegade who's gonna take on former World's champion Sydney Sky … (pauses, holding his headset, making sure he's hearing right) But they're telling me right now that we got some time to kill…

Edwin: Your headset works?

King: Mine's playing KISS.

Edwin: Mine speaks spanish sometimes…

*** Axis looks incredulously at his two cohorts. ***

Axis: We got some time to kill, so we've dispatched Kevin Cole into the ring for a special interview. Take it away, Kevin!

*** As we cut to the ring, Kevin Cole is handed a microphone by ring announcer Funyon. ***

Cole: All right, folks, my guest at this time. He's had a short career here in the SJL, but it's been nothing short of sensational in a matter of months. In a few days he's gonna make the big transitionnal move up to the SWF, the Smarks Wrestling Federation; so therefore tonight is his LAST participation at a SJL program. So please welcome my guest, he's a former European champion, ladies and gentlemen, Tod deKindes!!

*** As the blissful sounds of Slipknot's "I Am Hated" fires up, the crowd can't help but cheer their soon to depart hero. Tod walks out, clad in his street clothes: traditional black cargos, silver shades, hair tied back in a ponytail and a brand new SWF t-shirt. He walks down the ramp to his usual strobelight and smoke accompaniment. He slides into the ring and hops onto a second turnbuckle. He points at the letters on his shirt and lets out a mighty roar to the crowd. And since he's feeling into it, he walks over to a second corner and repeats the same thing. Same thing for the third. As well as the fourth. As the lighting return to normal, Tod stops right next to the man with the microphone… ***

Cole: All right, Tod deKindes; first of all, on behalf of this crowd and all the SJL staff, we want to congratulate you on finally being called up to the SWF…

*** The crowd lets him know about that with a respectable 30-second long cheer and applause session. He removes his silver shades and looks at each and every one of them with a grateful look in his eyes. ***

Cole: Second, what everybody wants to know; this is your final night in the Junior Leagues … so why aren't you competing?

Tod: Well, Kevin Cole, I don't like to disappoint and you KNOW I'm all about putting on a hell of a show for ALL the Todheads around the country!! (pauses for fan cheers) And if I had the chance, yeah, I would've competed tonight. But as you know, last Sunday … I had the chance to gain a shot at the SJL World title, against Insane Luchadore and Danny Williams. And, well … to put it simply, I lost. Danny Williams beat me right in the middle of this ring. (boos) But I'm not taking anything away from him, he's THE best athlete in this company right now, which is why he's holding the belt. In that match, I took a helluva shot on the back of the head, so the trainers saw it fit to bench me …

*** The Todheads let their disapproving reactions be heard, as they won't get to see their hero wrestle one last match tonight. ***

Tod: But I wanted to come out here tonight, to let all of YOU know that it's been an absolute HONOR competing in front of each and every one of you, night in and night out! If Tod deKindes ever amounted to anything in this company, it's because of all of you, and to you I say: danke, Brüder und Schwestern…

*** Most of 'em aren't quite sure what it means, but they're sure it's nice. They express their gratitude with another brief ovation … ***

Cole: All right, but for now, the big question is this: where does Tod deKindes go from here?

Tod: From here on in … nowhere but up! And Edwin MacPhisto, no offense, but one day, you're looking at the NEXT SWF World Heavyweight champion…

Edwin: It's a hell of a journey, Tod. Hope to see you there someday…

King: You are SUCH a suck-up.

*** Tod goes to continue his speech, but the retro sounds of Blue Oyster Cult's "Cities On Flame With Rock & Roll" suddenly interrupts him. ***

Edwin: Aw, beauty. Now what?

King: Now THERE's the one who should get an interview!

*** The Ice Monster known as Frost slowly lumbers down the ramp, still in his wrestling attire, and with sweat running down his face and body, obviously stemming from his previous match tonight. He takes a giant step up the apron and Diesels over the top rope, his eyes locked on Tod. He politely yanks the mic away from Cole's puny hands. He veers his eyes towards him and points towards the ramp in a menacing manner. Kevin Cole knows his place, as he non-hesitantly scurries out of the ring and up the ramp. Frost slowly puts his crosshairs back on the german one, and raises the mic up to his lips. Tod stands there, hands on hips, and with a hateful but respecting glare. ***

Frost: I have heard just about ENOUGH from you! You come out here and babble endlessly about moving up to the SWF. I personally think you are not worthy of such advancement, but this we'll deal with later. But while we're both here … you and I have some unfinished business!

*** Frost quickly drops the mic and pounces with a clothesline attempt! Tod ducks and comes right back with right hands to the side of the head. ***

Axis: Frost and Tod deKindes are getting it on right here in Florida!!

King: What the hell is he doing?! He's got another match later on!!

*** Tod goes for the knockout blow that would send Frost flying out of the ring, but Frost catches Tod's flailing right hand, locks him in a cobra clutch and sends him crashing down with a devastating cobra clutch slam. Tod staggers up to his feet but then he walks right into a uranage slam by Frost! ***

Axis: There's the Ice Shelf by Frost!!

*** Frost picks up Tod by the ponytail, with images of Early Winter dancing in his head. But before he can successfully apply the move, a bevy of officials quickly arrives to separate the two. Tod quickly regains his bearing and tries to lunge back at his attacker, but the referees and road agents form a human wall between them. Though Tod manages to leap over a few of them to sneak in a couple of shots on Frost; both men are quickly whisked away to a separate corner. ***

Axis: This is total chaos here!!

*** Tod is escorted up the ramp, while he's screaming stuff at Frost, who's being held inside the ring, and whom stares back as menacingly as he can. ***

Edwin: It's their last night in the Junior Leagues, but SWF fans, I assure you; this is NOT the last time you've heard of these two!

Axis: All right, we're gonna take care of this situation and right after this we'll bring you Renegade vs Sydney Sky. Don't go anywhere!

*** As we fade to commercials, the shot remains on Frost who's being surrounded by at least seven or eight road agents and referees. He doesn't look too pleased at what just took place, but he knows that he and Tod will meet again … ***

June 28, 2002

Watching the arena kind of reminds of you of Charlie and the chocolate factory. Those not fortunate enough to posses one of Willy Wonkas Golden tickets are willing to kill, rape, maim and pillage to get their grubby mitts on one. There is an interesting split in the audience too aside from your average wrestling fan. The youngest ones are kids in their “Z” T-shirts, the older fans are moms and dads dangling their JL outfitted offspring on their knees or simply looking nervously around the crowd wondering why they didn’t stay safe at home.

“Hello and welcome back to SJL Metal! Only one match away before our main event, Deathwish Danny Williams defends against Frost!” Edwin booms.

“Yes thank you for mentioning that for probably the umpteenth time Edwin, thank you!” King snarls.

“No problem.” Edwin replies with a grin.

“But up next, Renegade makes his return to the ring tonight against the former JL world champion Sydney Sky.” Axis says, steering the conversation back to the upcoming match.

“Why was Renegade away again?” Edwin asks inquisitively.

“Well…um…” Axis simply shrugs.

“PICK UP THE PACE!”

Fillings start to rattle as a noise that would scrape the enamel off your teeth belches out of the speakers, shredding through the crowd like the teeth of an electric saw. The punishingly heavy “(SIC)” is propelled forward like a cataclysmic tidal wave of noise. Renegade swaggers onto the ramp and takes two steps forward, revealing himself to the crowd with his head down and both fists raised, like the prized fighter he thinks he is. Renegade brings both hands down, which finalises the stance as a pyro detonates into a cloud of red mist.

“The following match is scheduled for one fal1! Introducing first, from New York City, weighing in at two hundred and sixty pounds…RENNNNEGAAADE!”

Renegade isn’t even waiting for a response from the crowd and begins mouthing off any frowning face he sees with profanities and slurs, statements that seem to spew by habit, melting anything in his general radius from the heat produced. His “I got balls like watermelons” attitude instantly reminds the crowd that Renegade’s attitude has not changed.

Renegade strides down the ramp and reels under the bottom rope, rolling into the ring. Renegade begins to headbang hard, snapping back so violently, he risks knocking himself out on his own knees. Renegade mounts the turnbuckle and gives a self high-five to the crowd they retort in a huge concentrated collected hiss. Renegade dips down from the turnbuckle as he awaits his opponent.

“Renegade is back, but I don’t think people are all so happy to see him though.” Axis says, stating the obvious.

“Because they don’t know talent when they see it, here you have Renegade, and grandslam JL champion, and look at the reception he gets!” King retorts.

In a complete change of tune, the music mutates into the urban melodic vibe of “Bitter Sweet Symphony” by the Verve. Compared to the song previous, each beat fold over each other in crisp perfection accompanied by a devout response from the spectators as the somewhat mysterious, elegant and majestic presence of Sydney Sky fills the arena.

“And his opponent, from Los Angeles California, weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds…SYDNEY ELIZABETH SSSSSSSSSSKY!”

“These two competitors definitely no stranger to each other, as they were both members of the stable Havoc.” Says Axis, trying to give the match a little history.

“Yeah that stable lasted for like five minutes didn’t it?” King says.

“How would you know? You didn’t weasel your way into commentating back then.” Edwin says.

Sydney takes her time to intrude the ring, as she shows her respect to the fans by high-fiving them until she reaches the ring. Sydney climbs through the ropes and takes center stage, giving a quick wink to the announcing tables, making them go scarlet with lust.

Renegade takes a step forward toward Sydney, inducing the ref to call for the bell before any action commences:

DING! DING! DING!

Renegade and Sydney square up with each other, staring each other eye to eye, no speech. The two competitors instinctively lock up; putting huge amount of pressure as getting an early hit is essential to win any match. In fact so much pressure that they both fall to the knees, trembling under each other’s force. Renegade, who has a good height and strength advantage gets back on a vertical base and manages to shoves Sydney to the ropes. With a flick of the wrist, Renegade whips Sydney to the opposite ropes. Sydney bounces off the ropes as Renegade jerks his shoulder forward. Sydney walks right into it as she’s clouted dead center in his face and down to the mat in a shoulder takedown. Already coming up with a plan, Renegade dashes towards the adjacent ropes, and gains more momentum. Renegade is progressing towards Sydney’s downed body, but Sydney rolls forward, as Renegade has to jump over Sydney’s rolling body to prevent am early trip-up. With the momentum still on the increase, Renegade bounces off the ropes, and this time his target (Sydney) is standing. Renegade straightens his right, in hope for a clothesline, but Sydney does a leapfrog just before the contact is made. Once again Renegade is expelled towards the ropes, as Sydney lies down flat on her back with her legs upright, hoping to use the excess momentum for a monkey flip. Renegade can see the position he has been set up in, and hits the breaks by slinging his arm over the ropes to kill his drive. Sydney springs to her feet quickly, as so far there has been barely any hard physical contact so far.

“Renegade and Sydney start it up with some speed bursts, but both of them are keeping their guards up.” Axis says.

Syd pitches her fist outward towards Renegade’s skull, but Renegade slaps it clear away from target and comes back with a punch to the temple. Sydney staggers to one foot as Renegade hits another one home with greater ferocity, each punch moodily perfected without regret. Sydney is left in a daze, giving Renegade the chance to whip Sydney across the ropes. Sydney’s body projects off the pliant ring ropes as Renegade brings both hands forward and lifts Sydney up, surpassing his head. Due to either too much momentum or perhaps a miscalculation by Renegade, Sydney manages to tangle both legs around Renegade’s neck and gyrates downwards, which flips Renegade onto his back in a headscissors takedown. Still brimming with energy but visibly aghast Renegade pulls back up again only to be rocked back onto the canvas as Sydney pelts her entire body forwards, and strikes Renegade precisely in the mouth with a front dropkick. Sydney alertly covers Renegade:

ONE!

T- Shoulder up from Renegade.

“Beautiful headscissors counter by Sydney Sky!” Axis says impressively

“Renegade cant deal with the quickness of the Riot Grrl!” Edwin replies.

Renegade still rises from the mat nimbly, infuriated with how his return match is starting and makes a beeline towards Sky with Fury and ire. Just before the two come into contact Sydney tilts to the side and interlocks her arm under Renegade’s shoulder, which flips him onto his back again in an arm drag. Renegade gets back up again with withering precision, finding it incomprehensible why he he’s being outwrestled by Sydney’s prowess makes a second charge towards Sky, juxtaposing the primal urge to release his anguish with another attempted charge. Sydney has to repeat the process one more time and Renegade falls right on his back like a toppled Redwood. Renegade slowly gets back up, flushed with rage as Sydney sees the time is now and makes a charge of her own, sticking her arm outward for an attempted clothesline. Renegade comes to his sense quick enough to swivel underneath and orbit under Sydney to the point where they are back to back. Renegade reaches his arms behind him and claws his fingers onto the flesh under Sydney’s chin and pulls her down in a falling neckbreaker. Renegade follows with a lateral press for the cover:

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout.

“Renegade comes right back with a falling neckbreaker, finally getting a good offensive move into the match.” Axis states.

“He’s only a bit rusty now, just wait as this match goes on!” King sneers.

Renegade pulls himself up and grins down at his small achivemenet. Renegade superciliously begins to kick away at Sydney’s body with his foot. Renegade furrows his brow at his victim and begins to stomp away callously. After a repetition of strikes, Renegade pulls Sydney up and whips her toward the nearest corner, but Sydney sidesteps to reverse it. Renegade sinks into the corner as Sydney sprints towards him and hurdles herself into the air. Sydney manages to saddle herself onto Renegade’s broad shoulders, but before she can pluck Renegade backwards to score an hurracanrana, Renegade latches onto both of Sydney’s legs and depresses his body at a declining angle, which causes Sydney’s face to smack right into the top turnbuckle. Renegade pulls Sydney’s body away from the corner and pins again:

ONE!

TWO!

T- The shoulder pops up!

Seemingly stoic to the fact that he didn’t get the winning pin, Renegade quickly pulls Sydney up again and stabs at her stomach with his patella. Sydney buckles over from the knee as Renegade darts out towards the ropes to gain velocity and WHAM! Renegade fires his knee outwards again, as his kneecap smashes across Sydney’s head. Sydney crumples to the mat as Renegade covers again:

ONE!

TWO!

T- Kickout.

The crowd is beginning to become despondent through this beating that Renegade is delivering to Sydney, but still has enough spirit to boo to their hearts content. This acts as the catalyst Renegade needs to flip the crowd off once again, unequivocal to why they are booing. After lifting Sydney back up Renegade makes a tug on Sydney’s arm to turn it into a whip to the corner. Sydney hits the corner; the impact she makes with them causes her to falter backwards. Renegade sees the time is now and bounces right off the ropes, coming from behind Sydney, reaching his arms forward to lock in the ¾ headlock. Renegade is just about to complete the manoeuvre, but Sydney circulates her body to wind up behind Renegade, not taking any chances as he quickly applies a sleeper hold. As she is doing so Sydney wraps both her legs around Renegade’s kidneys, completing the sleeper hold body scissors.

“Sydney just countered the Renebreak!” says a shocked Axis, but also impressed by her quick thinking.

Renegade’s body begins to crumble down as the hold progresses; the sleeper locked in a forty five degree angle. The ref sees Renegade’s eyelids start to close, and asks him whether or not if he will throw in the towel before he passes out. Renegade shakes his head slowly. As the hold progresses, Sydney falls to her side, taking Renegade with him, causing both of them to lie flat against the canvas. Sydney is hanging on like a leech, sucking away every drop of stamina away from Renegade. The ref bends over and asks Renegade if he’s going to tap out…Renegade’s eyes are closed and no response! The ref once again raises Renegade’s arm up in the air…falls.

ONE!

Raises it again…it falls!

TWO!

The last time, it could be over right now the ref raises the hand for the final time…its falling…falling and…

NO! Renegade raises the arm up!

“Renegade is still alive! There is life in Renegade!” Says Axis.

“Wow look at Renegade! He’s battling through that hold like the true wrestler he is” Says King.

“What was that King? Axis and I had some trouble hearing you with your lips being pressed so far up Rene’s arse!” Edwin chuckles heartily.

Renegade beings to rock his body violently, so violently that it rolls him and Sydney beneath him on their backs. Renegade manages to slide his lower body away from Sydney’s python like grip. Wriggling for his life, Renegade flings his arms onto the ropes, destroying any chances of the hold being reapplied. Sydney nimbly gets back to her feet and clutches Renegade by the arm. Sydney hastily whips Renegade to the corner, but Renegade reverses, unceremoniously pitching Sydney into the turnbuckles. A smile plasters across Renegade’s face, as he licks the beads of perspiration off his upper lip with satisfaction of what he is about to do. Spewing a sudden shift in pace, Renegade dashes towards Sydney as he arcs his body. Renegade’s arms begin to spread outwards as he goes for the spear and WHAM! Sydney dodges as Renegade’s body crashes into the post, making the most magnificent bone crunching noise that its dissonance can be heard throughout the arena. Renegade totters back, his bones and muscles heavy with ache as Sydney orbits around him and wrenches Renegade’s arm backwards in a hammerlock. Sydney uses her other arm to score a quick shot to the gut, causing Renegade to bend over. Sydney, with the hammerlock still in place brings her leg over the back of Renegade’s leg and pushes downwards. Sydney nails a fameasser on Renegade, Sydney covers again:

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Shoulder up!

“Renegade making a huge mistake by trying to go for that spear and pays for it dearly with that shot to the post!” Axis comments

“Ha! Renegade has got her right where he want her!” King sniggers.

“Are you sure we are watching the same match King?” Edwin says as he leans over to catch a glimpse of King’s monitor.

Sydney does not hesitate for one second and mounts the turnbuckle, reaching the top rope. A semi-conscious Renegade rises, only to be flattened out by Sydney in a missile dropkick, doing a heavy number on Renegade’s head with both feet. Sydney crawls over to Renegade and pin the shoulders:

ONE!

TWO!

THR- Kickout!

Sydney pulls Renegade up to his feet and whips him to the ropes, Renegade is only in motion from the momentum of Sydney’s whip, and comes to a complete halt as Sydney springs upwards with both legs spread open. Sydney seats herself over Renegade shoulders again, but one of her legs slip, making any chance of her nailing a hurrancanra ineffectual. Renegade uses the misfortunate position his opponent is in and holds his hand over Sydney’s leg to secure it, and pitches his body back to the mat as Sydney’s neck is crushed against the mat in a cradle suplex. Renegade makes the much-needed cover:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Kickout!

Both competitors are beaten, exhausted and dripping with gallons of sweat as they both lay there motionless on the mat. Both down, laying motionless leaving a noticable vacuum of time in the match in the still now sizzling air of the Fanbolous arena of fun. The call for a knock-out count:

“Both competitors have been very active during this match, the fatigue is beginning to show!” Axis states.

“Nice counter by Renegade though!” Edwin says.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

Despite the fact their lungs now feel like have been infested with cotton wool, Renegade and Sydney barely get back onto their feet. Sydney is the first to lob a punch towards Renegade, but Renegade comes back with a harder and heavier punch, which rocks Sydney a few steps backwards. Renegade’s frenzy of punches begins to increase in savage relegation, to the point where Sydney can barely stand. Renegade makes a whip, causing Sydney to tumble into the turnbuckle as Renegade straightens up, and scoops him up, establishing Sydney on the top turnbuckle. Renegade himself climbs the turnbuckle right up to the top, both competitor’s feet balancing on the ropes. Sydney is put in a suplex position by Renegade, with Renegade noticing he is treading on thin ice right here, so before he scores a superplex he begins to shuffle his feet to gain better balance. Just at that time Sydney pounds her fist away into Renegade’s forehead, causing Renegade release his hold of Sydney. Sydney tops off her mini-onslaught of punches with one kick to the stomach, which causes Renegade to lurch forwards. Renegade grabs onto both neighboring rope for dear life as he almost tumbles off the turnbuckle, giving Sydney the distraction she needs. Sydney rolls over Renegades back in a sunset flip, as both of her feet touch the floor she tried to yank Renegade off the turnbuckle in a sunset flip powerbomb. Renegade has already saw this move coming and uses his heightened to position to his advantage. Renegade brings the sole of his foot down onto Sydney’s face, sending her stumbling away from the corner. Renegade repositions himself and nosedives with both arms outward. Renegade catches Sydney by the waist and drives her through the canvas in a spear. Sydney’s whole upper body snaps forward, as Renegade goes for a weary, debilitated cover:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- KICKOUT!

“Renegade just broke Sydney in half with that spear, but she still kicked out!” Axis says, amazed by the spectacle he is emersed in.

“NO! Slow count! That spear was picture perfect!” King moans.

“Look at Renegade, I think he’s going to cry.” Edwin says.

The once calm Renegade has now indeed lost it, getting up to his feet and starting to pound his leg almost through the ring out of frustration. Renegade grabs Sydney by the hair and drags her towards the ropes. Renegade tosses Sydney's head over the bottom rope, with Sydney’s neck resting on the ropes. Renegade brings his knee into the back of Sydney’s head, choking the life out of her. Renegade latches his arms onto the top rope for leverage, but the ref can see this abuse of the ring as gives Renegade to the count of five to break up the illegal hold:

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR! Renegade releases the hold.

Renegade takes a couple of steps back and paces back towards Sydney’s trapped body. Renegade makes a small leap forward, aiming for Sydney’s back, but Sydney’s dodges! Renegade lands groin-first onto the middle rope, almost giving himself a free self-made sex change in a move that would shrivel genitalia the world over once viewed. Renegade bounces back onto the mat as Sydney covers him, hoping that the huge shot to the groin has taken enough out of him:

ONE!

TWO!

THR- Shoulder pops up!

“Ouch, no grandkids for Renegade anytime soon, as a matter of fact no kids either.” Edwin says cringing.

“Renegade is practically throwing every trick he has, and Sydney is kicking out of every one of them.”

A very groggy Renegade begins to helplessly pull himself up again, and Sydney moves in for the kill. Sydney comes up from behind Renegade and latches onto his, jumping forward. Renegade’s faces crashes into the canvas with a bulldog from Sydney, but she isn’t finished yet. Sydney keeps up the pace and races towards the ropes. With on fluid burst of speed, Sydney scales the ropes and catapults backwards. Sydney makes body to body contact with Renegade, driving the air out of him in a lionsault. Renegade’s body twitches from the collision as Sydney hooks Renegade’s leg up to about as high as it can go.

“Fallen Star! Renegade could be down for the three!” Axis says

“Renegade just had spasms like an epileptic jackrabbit with his knackers caught on an electric barbed wire bed.” Edwin adds.

“WHAT?” King says dumbfounded.

The ref goes for the count:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- NO! Renegade kicks out!

The whole arena is dripping and hungry for more as Sydney pulls Renegade back up and slots his head under her armpit. Sydney thrusts her arm outwards towards the fans and begins to turn Renegade’s neck outward. After cranking it around ninety degrees Sydney falls onto her back, plastering Renegade’s face into the mat with a twist of fate. Sydney goes for the cover:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Kickout! Renegade innately raises the shoulder. Sydney isn’t giving Renegade any time to breathe, as she picks him straight back up again. Sydney wrenches Renegades neck inward and sends him to the mat in a snapmare, aligning Renegade’s body parallel towards to the ropes. Sydney takes a quick trip to the ropes, as she comes back by making an incredible jump and flips her body over, coming down skillfully with a senton splash across Renegade’s chest. Renegade spouts off a breathless gasp as Sydney makes another cover:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Kickout!

“The tables have most certainly turned here, Sydney is using her quick pace to make sure Renegade can’t use another moves.” Axis says through his observation.

“But Renegade still kicked out of the Sky Swirl! He’s kicking out of all those moves, because he has a gameplan all set out.” King replies.]

“I don’t see how getting beaten up is a strategy.”

Sydney seems to be a on what one can only describe as an energetic overload. Renegade kicking out is only giving her more fire to carry on. Sydney points towards the turnbuckle, causing the raging monster of a crowd to go nuts with almost orgasmic glee. Sydney pulls Renegade’s panting carcass to ward the turnbuckle as she speedily ascends. As soon as Sydney reaches the top she vaults her body frame backward to produce some amazing hang time. Sydney soars downwards in a moonsault, but Renegade lifts his knees up! Sydney’s stomach crunches inwards from the impact it makes with Renegade’s raised knees.

“Renegade just saved himself from almost certain death. Sydney’s adrenaline rush had been cut short by that manoeuvre.”

“You see! I told you Renegade would get back on track!” King says with glee.

“Still cant hear you King!” Edwin replies.

Renegade gradually returns to a vertical base and hauls Sydney up. Renegade quickly wraps his arm around Sydney’s neck in a headlock and pulls Sydney off the mat. Annie flips over onto her back in snap suplex. Renegade still has a firm grip of the suplex hold intact and pulls himself up, which forces Sydney up as well. Again Renegade hauls Sydney up and unceremoniously slams her onto her upper back and head. Renegade lifts himself up once more and lifts Sydney up for the third time…but Sydney reverses. Sydney floats over Renegade back in that final suplex, positioning herself behind Renegade. Sydney reaches out for Renegade’s thighs and pulls them backwards, forcing Renegade’s shoulders down in a school boy.

“Sydney has got the rollup! This could be it!” Axis shouts.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Renegade kicks out at the last possible second.

They both scramble to get the first hit in. Sydney makes a dash but WHAM! A clothesline by Renegade flattens her down to the mat. Sydney collapses from the hard impact as Renegade puts his left leg between Sydney’s and joins her legs together by the anklebones. Renegade folds them over each other as Renegade tries to turn Sydney over.

“Renegade trying his luck to go for the Rage, his modified sharpshooter, but can he get it?”

One of Sydney’s legs manage to slip free, and with all her might, Sydney shoves Renegade in the face with her combat boot. Renegade is pushed towards the ropes and comes bouncing back. Sydeny yanks Renegade’s hair and pulls him down in other rollup:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Kickout!

Renegade and Sydney again get back up at the same time, but this time Sydney gets the first hit in. Sydney stabs at Renegade’s stomach with the tip of her boot, causing Renegade to buckle over. Sydney shoves Renegade in-between her thighs and wrenches his arms up to the sheer delight of the sold-out crowd.

“DAYBREAK! SYDNEY IS GOING TO PICK UP THE WIN!” Axis hollers.

“DON’T FRIGGIN SHOUT! WE ARE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!” King responds.

Sydney is ready to jump back, but Renegade isn’t budging. The ref comes closer to make sure there is no foul play, when suddenly Sydney’s grip on Renegade’s arms loosens. Renegade uses this time and charges forward, using his free hands to push Sydney into the turnbuckle, but the ref gets caught in the middle of this shove by Renegade, with his body being crushed against the turnbuckle and Sydney’s body. The ref falls to the mat as Renegade has freed himself from Sydney’s grasp. Renegade smirks at own unique counter, but it costs him dearly. Renegade’s stalling gives Sydney the time to get back up and deliver another kick to Renegade’s midsection. Again Renegade buckles over as Sydney slots him between her legs. Sydney hooks up the arms and hauls backward with a small jump, pulverizing Renegade’s face into the canvass. Sydney rolls Renegade onto his back and covers:

…

Nothing happens!

“Renegade just took the Daybreak, but thanks to the ref being out cold, there isn’t anyone to register it!” Axis says.

Sydney begins to slap her own hand across the canvas three times, showing to the fans that she has beaten Renegade clean, but alas she knows she needs the ref to count the pin. Sydney moves to the referee’s unconscious body and bends over, shaking the ref to bring him back for the count. As the time progresses, Renegade gradually pulls himself back up, still visibly beaten by the Daybreak. Renegade uses the ref bump to recover. Suddenly Renegade comes bouncing off the ropes behind Sydney. Renegade leaps forwards, and reaches out for the back of Sydney’s head, and locking in a ¾ face lock. Renegade falls forwards, driving Sydney’s face into the canvas in a ¾ neckbreaker. Renegade uses his last remaining drops of stamina to pull off the Renebreak. Renegade slowly rolls Sydney onto her back and covers her with one arm in a simple pin.

“RENEBREAK! HE SNUCK IT IN!”

“WHOOHOO!” King rejoices.

“BOO! CHEATER!” Edwin says.

The ref shakes his head from side to side, as his blurred vision becomes clear and crisp as he sees Renegade body covering Sydney’s. The ref wearily goes for the count:

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, RENNNNEGAAAADE!”

“(SIC)” plays over one more time, as Renegade sloppily slides out of the ring receiving much cacophony from the pissed off crowd. As he works his way up the ramp he slowly regains full consciousness as he begins to laugh like an asphyxiating hyena to his new laurel.

“Renegade won the match, but he sure as hell didn’t earn the win!” Axis says angrily.

“He didn’t earn it? You saw the ref count the three, he won the match!” King says protesting.

“Don’t go anywhere folks, world title cage match up next, its going to sheer thrills to the max!”

(Fades to commercial)

June 28, 2002

The lights in the arena are dimmed, smarking a cheer from the crowd. Some fireworks go off, as the cage is slowly lowered down to the ring. The anxious Miami crowd hasn’t been this alive since the Bulls/Heat Eastern Conference Finals from a while back.

Axis: Good day mates and welcome back to SJL Metal....

King: Judging by the heavy aroma of beer and body odor in the arena, I would say its time for the Main Event, wouldn’t you.

Axis: As I was saying, we are just moments away from tonight’s Main Event between Danny Williams and Frost for the SJL Championship.

Edwin: Don’t forget it’s a cage match! And unlike most cage matches, the cage door will be locked and stay locked. The only way out is to climb out of the cage, or defeat our opponent by pinfall or..............

Axis: Submission?

Edwin: Yes! This will also be the last SJL appearance of Frost and Williams, because they are moving up to the glorious world of THE SC....I mean SWF!

King: Good. Frost needs to be separated from that Succubus Sydney.

“Cities on Flame with Rock ‘‘n Roll” by Blue Oyster Cult blasts over the arena signaling for the fans to “boo”. A tall monstrous figure emerges from the locker room and steps into the light. Frost slowly marches to the ring, ignoring the taunts of the crowd. Frost steps into the cage door, and waits for Deathwish with a uncharacteristic grin on his face.

Axis: Frost has said that this match is not about the title, its about revenge.

Edwin: Frost is madly in love with Syd. A woman that Williams brutalized in an iron match to win the World Title. Now Frost can finally unleash that built up rage, in the safe confines of a steel cage.

King: Frost needs to forget about that “I’am the man who will fight for your honor” bullshit, and worry about the World Title.

The heavy grinding grooves of Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts over the loud speakers. The smarktron simply says Deathwish in white letters and follows that with highlights of Dannys career in the SJL. Danny comes out on to the platform. He simply looks around, and nods his head to a respectful applause from the crowd. Williams pauses and looks up at the cage, and the gigantic beast waiting inside. Williams slowly steps into the cage, and nervously turns around when he here’s Kivell locking the door.

King: I think Williams pissed his tights, when he heard the door lock.

Axis: From my view point Williams is as focused and cold as ever. Williams has never defeated Frost, can he overcome his biggest obstacle and leave the SJL on top.

Edwin: I don’t care as long as he does it with some style, and not his usual boring offense.

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the Main Event of the evening.(applauds) This is match is scheduled for one fall and is for the SJL CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!(more applauds). Introducing first, standing to my right, weighing in at 296 pounds, hailing from Reykjavik, Iceland........FROSTssss!

The crowd hisses, while Frost raises his fist into the air.

Funyon: Standing to my left, weighting in at 238 pounds, hailing from Louisville, Kentucky........He is the SJL CHAMPION OF THE WORLD......”DEATHWISH” DANNY WILLIAMSsssssssssssssssss!

Williams raises his arms, and the crowd explodes into cheers.

DING! DING! DING! Williams and Frost march out of their corners, and meet in the center of the ring. Frost not only towers over Williams, he is twice as a wide as him. Williams draws back for an elbow, but Frost drills him with a cracking straight right. Williams’ head snaps back, and he crumbles to the mat. The crowd “ohs” at the loud crack of Williams’ jaw against Frost’s gigantic fist. Williams is out on his back like a beached whale. Frost grabs Williams’ limp arm and tries to pull him up. Frost pulls and pulls, but Williams is completely dead and won’t move. Frost gives up, and just smirks at the”booing” crowd.

King: It’s over! One punch was all it took. Just cover him Frost and get this thing over with.

Edwin: Nothing fancy from Frost, big surprise. By the way I’am being sarcastic.

Axis: If Frost were to cover Williams, he would have the three count for sure. But he made it clear last week, he isn’t in this match for the World Title. He is in it, to make Williams pay for what he did to Syd.

Frost bends down, and locks his arms around Williams’ torso. Frost pulls Williams’ corpse up, and puts him in position for a German Suplex! Suddenly Williams comes back to life, and screams “Noooooo!” Williams makes a run for the ropes, but Frost almost cartoonishly holds him in place. Frost bends his knees, and lifts Williams off the mat with ease. Williams starts wildly firing back elbows into Frost’s temple. Frost lets Williams go, and Williams runs into ropes. Williams bounces off the ropes, and smashes the dazed Frost with a running elbow! Frost drops to the mat, and the crowd approves with a loud pop.

Williams is fired up, and signals he’s going up top. The fans get their camera’s ready as Williams steps on to the apron, and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Frost climbs to his feet, not knowing that Williams is perched behind him on the top rope like a waiting vulture. The cage is lit with camera flashes as Williams leaps from the top rope and drives his big white boots into the back of Frost’s head with a Missile Dropkick! Frost flops face first on the mat, to a standing ovation from the crowd. Williams does an athletic kip up to the delight of the fans, and jogs to the nearest corner. Williams climbs to the top turnbuckle, and balances himself on the top rope. More cameras flash, as Williams soars through the air “Macho Man” style, to deliver a stiff elbow to the back of Frost’s neck! The crowd is going nuts for the Williams’ high flying action.

Axis: Frost struggles against faster high flyers. While Williams may be no luchadore, he can fly when he wants to.

Edwin: Now this is what I’am talking about. Why doesn’t Williams do this kind of stuff more.

King: Because it’s just pointless showing off. If Williams was to take Frost to the mat, he would have beaten him by now. Well maybe not, but he would stand a better chance.

Williams rolls Frost over, and hooks his leg for the pin.

One....

Two.....

Frost kicks out! An out of breath Williams immediately traps Frost in a kneeling side headlock, and starts grinding away at Frost’s neck. The crowd calms down for the slower action. In a matter of seconds, Frost manages to power Williams to his feet. The two look extremely awkward as Williams struggles to keep a textbook side headlock on the giant Icelander. Frost easily walks Williams to ropes, and shoots him off. But Williams keeps the headlock applied, and drags Frost down to the mat! Williams strains as he uses all his power to keep the big man on the mat. Once again, Frost powers Williams back to the vertical base. Frost runs Williams into a corner, but Williams sticks out his feet and catwalks up the turnbuckles. Williams flips over, and pins Frost’s shoulders to the mat with a high Headlock Takedown!

One....

Two.....

Frost rolls on his belly, while Williams keeps a seated Headlock applied. Williams keeps twisting and jerking Frost’s neck all around. Frost has enough of this, and with a roar he powers Williams to his feet yet again. Williams is dripping sweat from straining to keep the big man down. Frost simply walks Williams to a corner, and Kivell starts counting. With a depressed look on his face, Williams finally releases Frost’s neck. As soon as Kivell steps out of the way, Frost jams his fist into Williams’ stomach. The crowd breaks their silence with a loud chorus of “boos”. Frost follows the body punch, with some stiff ass haymakers to Williams’ head. Williams’ head bounces back and forth with each blow, until he sinks to the mat in a seated position. Frost shows no mercy, and just starts driving knees into Williams’s face. Frost may look pissed, but you can tell he is enjoying every second of it.

Axis: Williams tried to take Frost the mat, but he just doesn’t have the power to control the big man.

Edwin: Williams should have stuck with the high flying, now he is getting his ass handed to him.

King: Hey it doesn’t matter what strategy Williams uses. Frost is an unstoppable killing machine that can’t be shut down.

After driving 10 consecutive knees into Williams’ face, Frost quits. Frost looks winded, and takes the opportunity to pop his stiff neck a couple of times. Frost helps Williams to his feet, and sends him running out of the corner with an Irishwhip! But a punch drunk Williams collapses to his hands and knees in the middle of the ring. Frost adjusts his tights and casually marches over to the battered champion. Frost pulls Williams up, and runs his face into the cage wall! But Williams holds out his hands, and catches himself. Frost uses his massive upper body power to try to push Williams face into the cage anyway, but Williams has his arms glued in place.

Frost gives up, spins Williams around, and swings a big right hand! Williams ducks and spins off the ropes. The momentum of the missed punch, spins Frost’s back to the ropes. Williams quickly pops Frost with three stiff elbows, and shoots him off the ropes with an Irishwhip! But Frost has his right arm hooked on the top rope, and doesn’t go anywhere. Williams releases Frost’s arm, and smacks his chest with two vicious chops! “Wooooo!” “Woooooo!” Frost’s white chest is now slightly red, and Williams grabs his arm to try the Irishwhip again! But Frost still has his right arm hooked on the rope, and won’t budge. Williams pulls and pulls with all his all his body weight, but Frost just shakes his head and smiles at him. Frost releases his right arm from the ropes, and gives Williams a brutal standing Lariat! Williams splats on the mat, and flips over on his belly from the impact! The crowd gives their usual “Oh”, and Frost replies by yelling “Shut Up!”.

A deranged Frost pulls the dazed Williams up, and slams his face into the cage wall with no problem! CLANK! Williams’ head bounces off the chain length, and he drops back to the mat. Williams sits up, but Frost kicks him as hard as he can right in the face! Even the people in cheap seats can hear the boot connect with a loud pop. Williams drops back to the mat, and a visible thin stream of dark blood starts running out of one of his nostrils. Williams holds his nose, and starts grunting in pain. Frost pulls Williams up by his chin, and hoists him over his head for the Guerilla Press! Frost shakes from strain as he walks over to the edge of the ring, with Williams still pressed over his head. Frost lets out a intimidating growl, and tosses Williams into the steel cage! CLANK! Williams body smacks into the chain length like a rag doll, and splats on the ring apron in between the cage and the ropes.

Axis: Now Frost is using the cage as a weapon.

Edwin: For a second there, I forgot I was even watching a cage match.

King: Frost needs to forget about using the cage as a weapon, and use it as an exit to win the match and the World Title.

A burned out Frost drops to one knee, and starts feeling his lungs back up with air. After the big man catches his breath, he marches over to Williams, who is still passed out on the ring apron. Frost gives Williams a hard kick in the gut, and orders “Get Up!” Williams doesn’t comply, so Frost kicks him even harder in the gut. Not wanting to get kicked again, a drowsy Williams pulls himself up with the ropes. Frost grabs Williams by his head and runs his face into the ring post! DING! Williams drops back to the ring apron, and rolls back into the ring. Frost starts nudging his boot in Williams’ face, and shouting “Get Up!” Blood is pouring from both of Williams’ nostrils now, and running down his chin. Williams stands up on weary legs, and looks Frost right in the eyes.

Unimpressed with Williams pain tolerance, Frost whacks the side of Williams’ head with a stiff haymaker! Williams’ legs give out, but Frost scoops him up before he falls. Frost walks to a corner, and tosses Williams up in the air. Williams lands face first on the turnbuckle for the Snake Eyes! After hitting the turnbuckle, Williams bounces backwards out of the corner, but Frost catches him in a back waistlock for the German Suplex! Williams starts firing back elbows to Frost’s temple, but their isn’t any strength behind them. Frost bends his knees, and tosses Williams over head! Williams lands on his head, and bounces to his feet. Williams stumbles backwards on the heels of his boots, and collapses into the ropes. Williams’ legs are completely dead, and he has to wrap his arms around the top rope to stay on his feet. Williams looks up at Frost with glazed over eyes, and motions for him to “Bring it on”. The crowd applauds Williams’ fighting spirit. Frost confidently marches over to Williams, but gets caught with a boot to the gut! But Frost catches his foot, and waves his finger in Williams’ face.

King: At a boy Frost, he can’t fool you.

Axis: Williams tired to use that same trick he used to defeat Tod last week. Lower his opponent in, kick, wham, DDT! But Frost was on to it.

Edwin: Williams needs to go back to the air, not only because it will win him the match. But because it was a lot more fun to watch.

Williams just smiles, as Frost fires a big right hook at his face. The blow connects with such a force that Williams flips over the top rope, and gets his bad ankle tied up in the ropes! The crowd lets out as collective gasp, followed by some “boos” This causes the normally cold Frost to burst into hysterical laughter. Williams screams in pain, and frantically tries to untie his foot. Frost leans down to William’s face, and whispers some inaudible taunts to him. Frost than precedes to kick away at William’s bad ankle. Williams is ready to burst into tears, from the throbbing pain in his ankle. Finally Williams gets his ankle untied, but the damage had been done. Frost grabs Williams by his ankle, and drags him back into the ring from underneath the bottom rope.

Williams locks a death grip on the bottom rope, to stop Frost from dragging him to the center of the ring. Frost just pauses and drops an elbow on to Williams’ ankle. Williams screams and releases the bottom rope. Frost just drags Williams to the center of the ring, and locks on the same ankle lock he used to beat him in their hardcore match . Williams’ eyes light up with pain as he frantically throws his arms out in search for ropes that far beyond his reach. The crowd encourages Williams on with a “Dan-ny! Dan-ny! Dan-ny!” chant. But it’s no use, as Williams can’t get free from the hold. Williams is ready tap out, but Frost releases the hold. Frost stands over Williams and spits “I’am not finished with you yet!” before dropping a knee on his face. Williams spasms and than goes completely limp. An exhausted Frost leans against the ropes, and waits for Williams to get up.

King: What are you doing Frost? You could have made him tap and win the World Title!

Axis: Frost explained last week, that he is in this match to punish Williams, not win the title.

With what appears to be tears in his eyes, Williams wakes up and painfully tightens his ankle brace. Feeling he his foot secure, Williams carefully hobbles to his feet. Williams exhales through his nose, causing very dark red blood to spurt out of both his nostrils covering his chin and mouth. Frost strides towards Williams, and gives him a swift quick to the ankle. Williams screams and drops to one knee. With grinding teeth, Williams stands right back up and looks Frost in the eyes again. Frost raises his hands like a boxer, and stuffs a jab into Williams nose. Williams staggers back to the ropes, blinking rapidly with water running from his eyes. But Williams bounces off the ropes, and blindly smashes Frost with a running elbow! Frost is more surprised than hurt, and quickly responds with a big right hook.........that Williams ducks! The momentum carries Frost forward, and Williams spins behind him. Frost turns around, and Williams pops him with an elbow.......that is blocked! But Williams quickly follows through with a nasty elbow uppercut........that isn’t blocked! Frost’s head snaps back, and it’s clear that he is out on is feet. Williams spins around and blasts him with the Rolling Elbow!

Frost goes limp, and flops face first to the mat. There isn’t a person in the audience that isn’t either applauding or screaming at the top of their lungs. Williams almost goes down from the momentum of the strike, and has to stumble to the ropes to stay on his feet. Williams wipes the streams of thick dark blood off his upper lip, but its covered again in a matter of seconds. Frost blindly feels for the mat, like a K.O. ed boxer. Williams watches Frost with a look of complete hatred and rage. Frost finally regains the gift of sight, and staggers back to his feet. But Williams just floors him with another Rolling Elbow! The hushed crowd goes completely nuts again, people are literally jumping up and down. Williams looks at Frost laid out on the mat, and than looks at the top of the cage. Williams bounces on one foot to nearest corner, and painfully climbs to the top turnbuckle.

Axis: Williams has managed to mount a comeback with one of his most deadly weapons, The Rolling Elbow. Now he is going to take a chance to climb out of the cage.

King: What a coward. He should stay and fight like a man.

Edwin: Maybe he’s not climbing out! Maybe he is going to do some crazy insane move off the top of the cage! Hey I can dream can’t I.

Williams locks his fingers into the chain length, and raises his leg to begin scaling the cage. But Williams stops and looks down, to see a delirious Frost cleaning to boot. Williams kicks Frost off, and hops down to the mat. Williams flinches in pain, forgetting about his bad ankle, but quickly recovers. The crowd finally shuts up. Frost draws back to take a wild swing, but Williams is to quick. Williams beats Frost to the punch, with yet another Rolling Elbow! Frost drops flat on his BUTT, and remains sitting up with a blank look on his face. Williams’ wipes his nose, and looks in disbelief at the incredible amount of dark blood on his hand. Williams’ face wrinkles with rage. Williams bends down, and chops Frost across the chest! SMACK! And follows with a stiff kick to his lower back! THUMP! Williams repeats in the same order. SMACK! THUMP! SMACK! THUMP! SMACK! Williams draws back his boot far, and with an “EEEEYA! gives him the hardest kick of the combo! THUMP!!!! Frost wobbles, and than drops on his back. Now shiny with sweat, Williams collapses on Frost for the pin.

One....

Two.......

NO! Frost kicks out! Williams sighs before sitting Frost’s lifeless body back up. He tucks his head underneath Frost’s arm, locks his arms around his waist, and pulls Frost’s heavy body to its feet. Williams takes several deep breaths, and hoists Frost up for the Backdrop Driver! But Frost awakens from his stupor, and starts jamming desperation elbows into the back of Williams’ neck. Williams sits Frost down, and jams an elbow into his temple, than his jaw starting the Elbow Combo of Doom! Each elbow connects with a sick crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Frost is out on his feet, and Williams quickly lifts him for the Backdrop Driver again! Williams falls back, but Frost collapses on him with the lateral press!

One....

Two.....

Williams manages to roll Frost’s carcass off before Kivell can drop his hand a third time! A frustrated Williams mumbles curses to himself, before jumping back to his feet. Unable to breathe from his noise, Williams has his mouth hanging wide open, sucking up all the air he can. Blood is just oozing from Williams’ nose, and dripping from his chin. Williams pulls Frost up by his tights, and hoists him for the Backdrop Driver yet again! Williams falls to the mat, but he doesn’t have Frost lifted all the way up, and they land awkwardly with a big thump! The back of Williams’ head smacks against the mat, and Frost lands almost safely on his back. Both men are down, and Kivell starts the 10 count.

One....

Two....

Three.....

Four......

Five......

Frost starts to move, and slowly stubbles to his feet. Williams also gets up, rubbing the back of his head. The two men stare each other down, as the crowd feels the arena with the sound of pounding feet. Both men are pouring sweat and look half dead, as they step to each other toe to toe. Williams fires first with a quick elbow! Frost blocks it, and counters with a big right hook! Williams ducks, and spins behind the big Icelander. Williams unleashes an elbow uppercut, but Frost leans back dodging the strike by inches! Frost counters with a snapping right hand, that lands! The blow hits so hard, that Williams spins around backwards. Williams staggers away, and Frost follows. Suddenly, Williams spins around with the Rolling Elbow! But the dazed Williams is to slow, and Frost catches him in a Urange! Frost quickly slams Williams to the mat with a huge thump! The heated crowd goes dead silent.

Axis: Williams went for the same combo he tired earlier, but your not going to get the drop on Frost twice.

Edwin: Frost outsmarting Williams? Talk about an oxymoron.

King: That’s not what an oxymoron is, you moron.

Williams is dead, but Frost still won’t go for the pin. Frost reaches down, and wraps his fingers around Williams’ throat. Frost pulls Williams to his feet, and places his free hand on his back. Frost lifts Williams into the air, and slams down with a big Chokeslam! Frost sticks his finger in the knocked out Williams’ face, and starts running his mouth. Frost starts slapping Williams in the face, and ordering him to “Wake Up!”. Williams eyes start twitching, and he soul appears to reenter to his body. Frost traps Williams in a standing head scissors, and pulls him up by his tights. Frost looks around the arena, before trapping Williams arms in a double underhook. The crowd knows what this means, and shows their disgust with jeers and boos.

Edwin: Frost is going for the........Dynamite? Pearl River Plunge? Tiger Driver?

Axis: Your actually right Edwin, all different names for the same move. Frost calls it the Early Winter. He has pinned William’s shoulders to the mat with this move before.

King: Maybe Frost finally grew a brain, and decided to go for the title.

Suddenly Williams lets out a powerful roar, and starts raising his torso up. Frost tries to use his body weight to hold Williams down, but it’s now use. Williams raises up, and back bodydrops Frost off!. The crowd goes apeshit, but Williams drops to one knee from the exhaustion. Frost pops right back up, and comes up behind Williams. Frost successfully sneaks up on Williams, and snaps on the Cobra Clutch! Williams screams and fights his way to a vertical base. Williams runs into a corner and catwalks up the turnbuckles, but Frost jerks him down and drags him back to the center of the ring! Frost starts jerking Williams from left to right to speed up the process, but Williams is still putting up a fight.

Before Kivell can even ask him if he wants to quit, Williams takes off for another corner. This time Williams ducks, and drives the much taller Frost’s face into the top turnbuckle. Frost release the hold, and staggers backwards. After clearing his head, Frost charges Williams blindly like a mad bull! But Williams catches him with a hard elbow as he comes in. Frost’s head snaps violently right, and he crumbles to the mat. Williams drops to the mat, and falls on top of Frost’s carcass for the pin.

One....

Two.....

No! Frost kicks out! Williams climbs back to his feet, and walks behind Frost. Williams pulls the punch drunk Frost up by his tights, and locks on a back waistlock. Blood spurts from Williams nose, as he strains to lift Frost off the mat for the German Suplex! The crowd explodes with applause as Williams snaps back, and drives the big man’s neck and shoulders to the mat. Williams holds the bridge for the pin.

One....

Two.....

Thre

NO! Williams can’t hold the bridge. Williams signals it’s all over, and traps Frost in a standing head scissors as he tries to get back up. Williams locks his arms around Frost’s waist for the Deathbomb! The audience makes the biggest noise of the night. But before Williams can attempt the lift, Frost floor Williams with a double leg takedown. Before Williams can get up, Frost stomps his boot across his face. Williams grabs his blood spewing nose, and blindly staggers to his feet. Frost charges off the ropes, and floors Williams with a stiff Clothesline! Williams looks up at the roof the arena, and than on instinct alone, slowly gets back up. Frost drills Williams with a rock solid right hook as he gets up! Williams eats the punch, but swings an elbow at Frost’s face. But Williams completely misses, and has to catch himself with his hands to keep from going down.

Frost draws back for another devastating punch, but Williams goes back paddling into the ropes. Williams leans back into the ropes, and raises his arms up. Frost charges in, and starts pounding Williams arms with heavy haymakers! Frost finally breaks down Williams’ defense, with a slick uppercut! Williams head snaps back, and blood drop lets spray into the air. Williams collapses to the mat, and starts crawling away. Frost just stalks him with a sadistic smile on his face. Williams rolls underneath the ropes, and makes a sad attempt at climbing the cage. Frost just shakes his head at Williams, who appears to not where he is. Frost lets Williams slowly climb above the top rope, before grabbing him by his tights. Frost pulls Williams off, and lets him fall back into the ring. Williams splats on the mat so hard, he shakes the people in the front roll.

Frost mounts Williams and starts driving right and left hands into his face. Frost screams with blind rage, as he pounds Williams face into hamburger. Blood droplets splat on the mat, as Frost draws back his fists for each punch. In between breathes, Frost calls Williams every dirty word in the book. Frost punches Williams for what seems like hours, as the crowd goes dead silent from shock. Frost’s punches slow down, and his knuckles are bright red and sore. No longer able to throw punches, Frost starts ramming the back of Williams’ head into the mat over and over again. Williams has long since gone limp, but Frost doesn’t care.

Axis: Frost is finally unleashing all that rage that has been building since Syd’s bloody defeat at the hands of Williams. In Frost’s mind this is payback for what he did to Sky.

Edwin: Dear lord, this is going to far. Kivell should stop this. I’am all for a blood bath, but William’s Hemorrhaging from his nose. If this isn’t stopped soon, he could die.

As sudden as this massacre started, it ends. Frost simply stops, and stands up. Frost looks down at his chest and hands, which are splattered with William’s thick sticky blood. Next Frost looks down at Williams, who’s only sign of life is the blood bubbles coming from his mouth. A disgusted look forms on Frost’s face, and he looks like he is going to be sick. Frost walks to a corner, and buries his face in his hands. After several moments, Frost hears a pop from the crowd and turns around. Williams is somehow moving, and attempting to get up. Williams slowly stands up on shaky legs, but falls flat on his BUTT. Williams looks up at Frost with glassy eyes, and waits to be finished. Frost draws back for a big punch, but hesitates. Frost looks at Williams with confusion, and appears to be in deep thought. The crowd starts chanting “Pussywhipped!” but Frost ignores it. Frost lowers his hand, and Williams sinks back to the mat.

King: What the hell is that pussywhipped idiot doing? Finish him and win the title, you big dumbass!

Axis: He is returning a favor to Williams. Williams had a chance to dish out more punishment to a beaten Sydney Sky, but instead spared her. Frost has also been becoming increasingly dare we say “more human” since his involvement with Sky.

Edwin: How sweet, but if he hugs Williams and starts whispering in his ear, Iam going to throw up.

An exhausted Frost looks up to the top of cage, which seems endless from his view point. Out of breath and pouring sweat, Frost slowly walks to the nearest corner. Leaving a blood trail behind him, Williams slowly crawls after him. Frost climbs on to the bottom turnbuckle, and pauses again to look up at the long journey ahead. Frost climbs to the second rope, and Williams somehow stands up, only to collapse back to the mat. Frost raises his leg to climb back to the top rope, but Williams jumps up and catches him by the waist. With one final showing of strength, Williams jerks Frost off the second rope. Williams falls back and drives Frost’s head into the mat with a devastating Backdrop Driver! The crowd gives a standing ovation, and feels the arena with the sound of stomping feet.

Edwin: Backdropdrivahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Axis: Williams has been looking for that move all night, at one point attempting it three times in a roll. Now that he has finally hit it, can he capitalize and take back control of this match.

King: NO! NOOOOO! Your such a dumbass Frost, you should have finished him when you had the chance.

Both men are down, and Kivell has no choice but to start the ten count. Williams climbs to his hands and knees. Williams crawls to the ropes, and pulls himself up before Kivell can count to eight. Williams’ can barely hold his eyes open, as he staggers to Frost’s dead body. Williams is able to pull Frost up enough to trap him in a standing head scissors. Williams pulls Frost up by his tights, and locks his arms around his waist. The crowd knows what’s coming next and goes completely nuts. Blood is just gushing from William’s nose by the bucket full, as he takes several deep breathes. With an “Aiyeeeeeee” Williams bends his knees, and strains every muscle in his body to try lift the three hundred pounder off his feet for the Deathbomb!

Axis: Williams is going for is tried and true finisher, but he doesn’t have the strength to lift the massive Icelander off his feet.

Edwin: I’am sorry to kill the dramatic mood here, but Williams looks like he is taking a crap.

King: No Williams already crapped his tights, when he saw Frost draw back for the big right hand a few minutes ago.

Williams barely lifts Frost’s heavy feet off the mat, before he has to abort the lift. In one fluid motion Williams releases the Frost from the standing headscissors, switches to a front facelock, and falls back for the DDT! The top of Frost’s head hits the mat so hard that it shakes the cage. The crowd is disappointed but they still cheer. Williams rolls Frost over, and hooks his leg for the pin.

One.....

Two.....

Thre

NO! Frost raises his shoulder up. Williams locks a front facelock on Frost, and jerks him back up to his feet. Williams drops back, and drives Frost’s head into the mat with another DDT! Frost lands right on the top of his head with his legs straight up in the air. Frost rolls over on his back, and Williams crawls on top of him for an exhausted pin attempt. The crowd screams along with Kivell.

One.....

Two.....

Three!

NO! Frost raises his shoulder up at the last possible microsecond. Williams rolls off Frost, and buries his face in his hands. Williams crawls back to Frost, and locks on another front facelock. Williams uses all the power he has left to pull Frost to his feet, but Frost drops to his knees. Despite looking like he is going to pass out, Williams continues to try to lift Frost up for another DDT! Blood and snot squirts out of Williams’ nose, as he tries to suck all the air in he can. After several moments, Williams gives up and spins behind Frost. Williams locks his hands around Frost’s face for the Deathlock! The crowd gives a loud pop, having never seen the move before.

Edwin: What the bloody hell is that?

Axis: It’s a stepover facelock, that Williams likes to call the Deathlock. A submission maneuver that not only cuts the blood off to the brain, but can twist the head off your opponent.

King: Bah, that move is so weak looking. Frost better not tap to it.

Williams uses what power he has left to forcefully twist Frost’s neck to the left. Frost has nothing left to fight out of it with, the only thing he can do is try to tolerate the pain. Williams’ blood pours from his chin, and down into Frost’s face creating an unforgettable grotesque image. Kivell asks Frost if he want’s to quit. After several tense moments, Frost replies “Yes!” Kivell calls for the bell. DING! DING! DING! Williams collapses to the mat, and Kivell raises his hand to make it official.

Funyon: The winner of the match at 40 minutes and 33 seconds........AND STILL SJL WORLD CHAMPION “DEATHWISH” DANNY WILLIAMsssssssssss!

The crowd goes completely insane, with people hopping up and down like a hardcore concert. Some mad man in the front roll rips off his shirt and starts twirling it around his head, and a “Death-Wish” chant breaks out.

King: All Dammit! This is the third straight bad Main Event. I’am glad Williams is leaving after this.

Axis: I wouldn’t call it bad at all. Frost gave a phenomenal performance, and for the most part destroyed Williams. However his refusal to pin Williams, and in the end his showing of mercy, cost him the match.

Edwin: It was beauty that killed the beast. And by beauty I mean Sydney not Williams.

King: Well DUH!

Kivell unlocks the cage door, and some doctors and ringside officials rush into the ring. Some doctor immediately shoves some cloth into Williams’ gushing nose. Frost is up on his own, and looks extremely disappointed. Some doctors try to check him out, but he gives them a “Don’t Fuck with me” look and they back off. Two doctors help Williams to his feet, and walk him out of the cage. Suddenly, Tod Dekindes hops over the guardrail, and rushes into the cage. Tod fights through the mess of officials and doctors, and tackles the battle weary Frost. The two start rolling around and brawling on the mat, while the officials try to pull them apart. The copyright comes up, and the camera fades to black.

June 28, 2002

Results!

Mak Francis rises above all odds and becomes a double champ by winning the Euro belt!

Frost promo… touches us all in a warm fuzzy place.

N00b promo does not completely suck!

“The Rising Sun” falls to “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins in both men’s premiere match!

Thor has developed a Poisyn tolerance by kicking his ass!

Ced Ordonez and Silent are anally violated by a goat that reeks of Clorox! Don’t worry Ced; we’re still bumping you because we enjoy the thought of you jobbing to Wfers for eternity!

Z and TNT have the oddest no-contest since the ML dance-off.

Tod deKindes is mildly savagely beaten kind of by Frost a little. Well, heck, we’ve all wanted to do that.

The returning Renegade establishes himself as a main event player by stomping Sydney Sky!

And in what I consider the best match of Deathwish’s career, Danny Williams retains the SJL Heavyweight Championship against the monster Frost!

Card is forthcoming children… and let me drop a hint. On the next show, EVERYONE will have a chance at the World Title. Stay tuned!

EDIT BY HVT: Don't post on the show thread!!!

EDIT BY EMP: Yeah, what he said! Unf! BACK-UP!

EDIT BY CRUSEN: Yeah, fools.

SJL Metal, June 27

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