Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We're brought right to Sofa Central home of Da Coach and Michael Cole, each wearing their trademarked purple polos. DING DING DING! COLE Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN! We're gonna start the action with a red hot match! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from the southside of Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at an even two hundred pounds…Nathan Baumgarten! A young man in tattered clothing and shoulder-length hair covering his face briefly raises his hand as his name is announced. BUFFER His opponent…from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred seventy-five pounds…Tommy G.! COLE Tommy G. coming off of a big win over Todd Cortez. Let’s see how the young rookie from Minneapolis fares against him tonight. COACH This “young rookie” looks like a lowlife. DING DING! Lockup. Kick to the mid-section by Tommy G. Club to the back of the neck. Baumgarten goes to the mat. Tommy G. drops three quick knees to the neck and brings Baumgarten back to his feet. Irish whip into the corner. G. charges and delivers a spinning back elbow. Baumgarten falls to the mat. G. jumps to the top turnbuckle. Baumgarten slowly gets up and turns to face G., who jumps and executes a tornado DDT. COLE Tommy Gun! 1 2 3 DING DING DING! BUFFER The winner of this match…Tommy G.! Tommy G. picks up Baumgarten and throws him over the top rope to the outside. TOMMY G. (Give me the stick!) That overgrown ragamuffin on the floor right there was only a little easier to beat than Todd Cortez was. If this is the best that OAOAST has to offer, it’s going to be an easy climb to the top. The climb on the ladder made out of Cortez’s bones. VOICE HEY! Todd Cortez comes out onto the entrance ramp. TODD CORTEZ You will not marginalize me that way! You think you’re some kind of tough guy? Why, because you worked as some kind of low level enforcer for a small time loanshark? Or maybe you were at a bouncer at some night club? You son of a bitch, you will not marginalize me! I am the Urban Legend! Next week, I want a street fight match with you! Tell me you accept! Tell me! TOMMY G. Ha ha ha! You want a street fight with me? Of course I accept. In fact, let’s start right now! Tommy G. slides out of the ring and charges Cortez, who runs toward the ring. Eleven men in black shirts jump from the sides of the ramp, block the path of the men. COLE The OAOAST has been beefing up security in light of recent events! And next week we apparently have a street fight! COACH We might have one right now! The camera closes in on both wrestlers’ faces, snarling while being restrained by security. COLE Security has the situation well in hand. What turmoil Tommy G. has causes since coming to OAOAST! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 Backstage MORGAN NERDLY walks with LORELEI DECENZO LORELEI I'm not one for strategy sessions, but frankly I won't risk loosing to Sophie and Molly again. The shame...it would be unbearable! I would let myself down, Teddy, Collin, Christian, Spencer. The whole Enterprise could be ruined by a loss to those two awful girls. I can't stand them. Morgan grabs onto Lorelei's neck and shoves her against the wall. LORELEI Morgan! What are you doing? MORGAN Not Morgan. Emily. LORELEI Morgan... MORGAN Emily! The one who had to protect Morgan when her uncle used to throw beer bottles at when he was supposed to be healping with her "treatment", the one that watched her aunt choke her because she thought she was evil. I'm Emily, I'm the one who watches Morgan get killed by people like you! LORELEI Morgan....you are....my...friend. MORGAN No! You and everyone else make her your punching bag. Morgan doesn't want to think so but I know the truth. LORELEI I....I...have...looked out for you Morgan! I have cared for you not like a sister, but like a mother! MORGAN You've abused her just like everyone else! LORELEI I've done more than "Emily" has ever done Morgan. I care about you! I'm sorry that Emily is too blind to see what I've done. She's the bad one. Emily will only hurt you. I can protect you! MORGAN I saw Morgan take punch after punch from school kids that called her a freak! I was the only one who defended her when she stabbed that sixth grader! It was all Emily! LORELEI Emily...is...a...lie...Morgan. My caring and compassion is what's real. Believe me. In your heart you know that I'm the one that can shield you from all the pain and hurt. Morgan takes a second to collect her thoughts as Lorelei struggles nervously in her grasp. Finally Morgan releases Lorelei and her friend slumps down to the floor, coughing and wheezing. MORGAN (sobbing) I'm sorry. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT! STRETCHER MATCH BOHEMOTH VS LEON RODEZ TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 We return from break to the backstage area where Josh and Maggie are with the eager possible Battlebowl praticipants JOSH All eyes are on the Chi-Town Spectacular next week, sight of the Battlebowl battle royal to determine the number one contender to the OAOAST World Title at AngleSlam. And right now, we're ready for another Battlebowl tag team match. Maggie hands over the first ball. JOSH And our first participant... CONQUISTADOR UNO! "Creeps" by Fedde Le Grand plays and out heads Conquistador Uno, offering up an ominious chant to the skies before he walks to the ring. COACH I hope the ref checks this is actually Uno. JOSH And his tag team partner will be... one half of the Orange County Cobras, NED BLANCHARD! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Ned Blanchard, in what shape we're not sure. COACH (bitter) Well he won't be walking with a cane after last week, we know that much. A warm greeting awaits Ned as he enters, with a noticeable limp in his step but clearly closer to 100% than before. Ned climbs into the ring and gets right into Uno's face, cussing out the masked/face painted/tattooed (did we clear that up yet?) Conquistador. Ned then scales the turnbuckles and fires up the fans. JOSH Their opponents... first up, the new masked sensation, J-MAX! COACH Jamie O'Hara. Mask and all, The Birmingham Bad Boy appears and jogs to the ring, tumbling in over the bottom rope in impressive style. COLE And I'm sure as well as the AngleSlam title shot, J-MAX... COACH Jamie O'Hara. COLE ...will have half an eye on a certain person in that battle royal, if he can make it there, Logan Mann. JOSH And his partner is half of V.I.C.E, CPA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" That quickly gets Ned's attention and a smile on his face, as CPA marches out. The big muscle of V.I.C.E throws some shadow punches, which don't intimidate Ned whatsoever, waving him to the ring. COLE CPA and Ned Blanchard will be on opposite sides tonight and opposite sides next week in Chicago in an eight man tag team match, featuring VICE and The LDC Moneygang taking on The Cobras and Team Heyross. But only one of them will be pulling double duty in the Battlebowl battle royal. CPA climbs to the apron... and he stays there. Ned calls him into the ring, but CPA arrogantly points to an imaginary watch, saying all in good time. So Ned leaves as well, slapping Uno on the chest, almost knocking him off his feet with his offer of 'good luck'. *DINGDINGDING!* J-MAX and Uno circle. They go to lock up and J-MAX quickly turns it into a hammerlock, surprising Uno. Uno looks for an escape and tries to roll out, but J-MAX rolls through with him and maintains the hold. Spinning him around, J-MAX then takes Uno over with an armdrag. A high dropkick connects, followed with a Standing Moonsault... 1... 2... No! COLE This crowd, electrified by J-MAX every time he steps into the ring. COACH He's only had one match Michael. Unless, of course, he's JAMIE O'HARA! COLE Have you ever thought of becoming a detective? Barring the arm J-MAX keeps control of Uno, until the Conquistador reaches up and rakes at the mask and with it the eyes. Uno gets up and drives the point of the elbow into J-MAX's neck repeatedly, before summouning some greater powers. NED Ned tags himself in, interrupting Uno's chant, which doesn't go down well. But Ned just tells him to take a hike. COACH Yeah, great teamwork Ned. Ned comes in and quickly sends J-MAX to the ropes. J-MAX ducks underneath an elbow, but Ned recovers and goes for a hiptoss... only for J-MAX to land on his feet and execute a monkey flip! Rolling into a corner Ned shakes it off and when J-MAX attempts another monkey flip, he counters with a shove. J-MAX manages to moonsault over onto his feet though. He tries to catch Ned walking out of the corner with a spinning wheel kick, but gets caught and flipped backwards, stomach first across the top rope! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Reprimanded by the ref Ned apologises and backs away... surprising CPA with a right hand, knocking him off the apron!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now that's just uncalled for! Ned cusses CPA out and before the pissed gun for hire can get in, the referee steps in between. While this is going on, Uno runs at J-MAX, but gets kicked off the apron. J-MAX waits for Ned to turn around and then catches him with a Springboard Missile Dropkick!! 1... 2... No! Off the ropes, J-MAX goes over Ned AND WIPES OUT CONQUISTADOR UNO WITH A SURPRISE SOMERSAULT DIVE!!!!! COLE J-MAX TAKES FLIGHT!! Ned gets up and looks around in confusion, allowing CPA to sneak in and strike with a clothesline! The referee orders CPA out of the ring as he's not the legal man, risking the wrath of the bigman. Not seeing any of this, J-MAX slides back into the ring and with Ned down, nails a standing corkscrew splash!! 1... 2... Kickout! Ordering a tag, CPA gets it from his masked partner. Cracking his knuckles the bigman steps in and stands over Ned, slowly picking him back up. COACH And this is what CPA wants, a shot at the man who cost him the Tag Team Titles. COLE He'll get that and a lot more next week in that big eight man tag. CPA loads up his fist and nails Ned with a big right hand. Ned is staggered, barely staying on his feet. His reward for doing so, another hard right hand. Ned falls against the ropes but earns the cheers of the crowd as he DARES CPA to hit him again. Which he does, hard enough to send Ned sprawling to the mat. COLE Ned showing some heart and some guts, the kind of heart and guts we doubted he actually had in the days of the New, New Midnight Express. A man with plenty to prove. COACH And he's not going to prove it trying to punch it out with CPA. Whipped to the ropes, Ned is picked up and FLUNG down with a Front Spinebuster! CPA stands over Blanchard and pins him down with one foot... 1... Kickout by Ned, who SPITS up at CPA, earning him an elbowdrop. "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" CPA pulls Ned up by the hair, throwing him into the turnbuckles. He smashes Ned with a back elbow and then a second, leaving him hurt in the corner. With a smile on his face CPA walks to the opposite corner. And as the smile disappears, he runs at Ned with an Avalanche... THAT MISSES! CPA is winded and Ned starts to unload with right hands in the corner, before stomping CPA down and walking a hole of some description in his chest! COLE And Ned taking it to CPA, with a vengeance, look at this! Waving CPA back up, Ned delivers a clothesline in the corner. Pulling CPA out he then sets him up, looking for the Slingshot Suplex, but can't get CPA up. COACH Way too big. Ned tries again but CPA continues to block. Before suddenly picking Ned up in the suplex and throwing him forward, face-first to the mat! Holding his ribs, Ned is then laid out with a BIG boot to the face as he stands back up! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by CPA... 1... 2... Kickout! Climbing up, CPA watches as Ned struggles to his feet. Allen smirks and balls up his fist, coming off the ropes. As Ned turns around CPA throws the big Gigaton Punch... but MISSES! Ned catches onto CPA and pulls him down with a backslide! 1... 2... No! Ned grabs CPA's legs and tries for the Stungun, but a double sledge to the back fends him off. Coming off the ropes again, CPA is caught with a back elbow, cutting him off. Turning on his heels it's Ned off the ropes this time. CPA catches him and lifts him up for another Spinebuster, but Ned escapes as CPA had, with a double axe. As he lands Ned hooks CPA up again for the suplex and turns him towards the ropes. But suddenly, he collapses in a heap, his knee clipped at the side by CPA! COLE Oh, right to the knee and Ned is in a lot of pain! COACH Looks like Ned'll be ordering a new walking cane from Grandma's World tommorrow after all. In pain Ned rolls away from CPA, who gives him a helping nudge with the foot to get him to the corner. Which allows Uno to tag in. No concern to CPA, who watches Uno run in at him and casually raises a boot for him to run into! COLE Uno not learning from Ned's mistakes. CPA drags Uno back up, roughly putting him into a gutwrench and lifting him up for the DOMINATOR!!!! COACH Haha, wow. CPA just smushed Uno in about five seconds. Strolling to his corner, CPA surprises everybody by tagging out of the ring, including his partner. The bigman looks on from the arena floor and lights up a VICTORY CIGAR, in full view of Ned, who looks on in a heap on the ring apron. Meanwhile, J-MAX drags Uno's lifeless body towards the corner. Climbing to the top, the masked superstar sets himself and finishes Uno off with a SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!! COLE Taking it to the MAX~! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* With a satisfied puff of his cigar CPA turns and leaves, with J-MAX left to take the plaudits and have his hand raised. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, advancing to the Battlebowl battle royal... CPA and J - MAX!!!!!!! J-MAX is cheered most of the crowd, those who aren't down the aisle and getting on CPA's case. Cursing up a storm Ned continues to clutch his knee, although the cursing seems more in anger than pain. COLE Two more qualify for next week in Chicago, J-MAX on a real roll and CPA, who's partner Detective Bosley is going to be there in the field too. Could that prove to be a difference maker? COACH I can't see how it won't. Bosley's the alpha male, the big dog, the hunter. And CPA, everyone's afraid of the big black man. But together, they're even more dangerous. And they don't even have to worry about pulling double duty, it's going to be four on three judging by the shape Ned's in right now! COLE Oh I think Ned will be ready for Chicago, don't worry about that. COACH Yeah, but in what shape? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 In the backstage hallway in front of the Duncan Girls' dressing room we find ALIX MARIA SPEZIA holding...a pregnancy test? At her side is MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD looking slightly perturbed over her father's unfortunate loss. ALIX Viola! You are going to have a new baby boy/girl/transsexual/asexual possibly humanoid sibling! MAYA Alix, what are you even talking about? ALIX I’m talking about this pregnancy test, silly! MAYA You’re pregnant?! Mom said there should be laws forbidding you from reproducing. ALIX Silly girl, the state legislature passed that law five years ago. Your mommy is pregnant, just look at this pregnancy test. MAYA How is that even possible? Mom hates men. She once tried to organize another million man march with a silent “into a concentration camp” at the end. ALIX Then its gotta be the curse! Your mom is infested with Beelzebub’s spawn! She carries with her hell’s emissary to earth. Her womb is filled with the vile beast that will destroy all of mankind! Pretty cool, huh? MAYA No pretty not cool. Are you sure about this? Great Amir said nothing about pregnancy. How’d you even get mom to submit to a pregnancy test? ALIX Submit? Watchu talking ‘bout, homegirl? I just asked it if your mom was pregnant and it answered back! How else is a pregnancy test supposed to work? What are they teaching you in sex ed besides how to get freaky with a girl in the bathroom of Denny's without the manager noticing. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" Maya immediately becomes alarmed and bursts through the door. Alix decides there's no communist trickery evolved and follows through. What they find is the most disturbing sight of Krista Isadora Duncan crying in pain and clutching her bleeding shoulder. She lies on the floor barely able to move from the horrific agony that assails her. The culprit of her pain? A rattle snake that slithers on the floor, looking as vile and evil as anything before it.. MAYA (shouting down the hall way) We need medical help! Alix manages to drag Krista away from the venomous beast, comforting her and still protecting her. None of this does much to ease Krista's pain and she continues to cry and scream. Hobbling into the room with a long broom stick is Maya's father Ned Blanchard. Ned succeeds in expertly lifting the deadly serpent onto his stick, but the damage to Krista has been done. COLE This can't be good. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 COLE Folks, during the commercial break, Krista Isadora Duncan was rushed to a local hospital after sustaining serious injuries from a snake attack. DURING COMMERCIAL Several of Krista's friends (aka all the face Nerdly girls and Terry Taylor) gather around the ambulance as Krista is loaded into it. Alix and Ned stay close with Maya. MAYA Thanks for being there, dad. NED Yeah, well. You know... MAYA How's your knee? NED I'll live. MAYA Will mom? NED Of course she will. If I dating me didn't do your mom in, nothing will. We come back from commercial straight to the tumbler, where Josh is opening a plastic container. JOSH First participant will be..."SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL! Lucius makes his way out of the dressing room and heads out. JOSH His partner... Josh opens another container, and opens the paper. JOSH One of the Last Kings of Scotland, SCOTTISH SCOTT! COACH Two of the Queen's Men paired together! JOSH And now their opponents! COLE And this will be our last Battlebowl match, just for the record! JOSH From Panic at the Disco, VINNY VALENTINE! COLE And Vinny's partner, Biff Atlas, has already qualified! Wouldn't it be something if both members of Panic at the Disco made it to the finals? JOSH His partner will be the bodyguard for the Deadly Alliance, ARTURAS! COACH Wow! You gotta love those chances now, Cole! COLE We've already seen Thunderkid and Mr. Dick both qualify, Arturas would make three from the Deadly Alliance! COACH It should be four, but Reject didn't get there, thanks to Alfdogg! Cut to the ring, where Lucius is hammering away on Vinny, while Reject gives instructions to Arturas from the aisle. Vinny is bounced from the ring, as Arturas joins the frey. He climbs in, and Scott and Lucius attempt a double clothesline...but when they hit him, they go right past him and stop, their hands never even separating! COLE Look at that! COACH It's like trying to clothesline a redwood! Arturas looks at the two men trying to bring him down for a couple seconds, then wraps an arm around each, bringing them to the front, and ramming their heads together! He then takes down Lucius with a MAFIA KICK~! COLE Arturas dominating in there, big kick! He then whips Scott into the ropes, and catches him with a BIG powerslam! He then holds his arm out in a hook shake, waiting for Lucius to get to his feet. COACH Russian sickle time! COLE It looks like Arturas is going to do it all by himself in there! Lucius gets to his feet, and Arturas levels him with a RUSSIAN SICKLE~! Lucius does a backwards somersault on the mat. Arturas then levels Scott with a RUSSIAN SICKLE~! as well, turning him for a backflip with a half turn! COLE Look at those clotheslines, those Russian sickles! Arturas drops to one knee, and covers Scott with one hand... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH He did it! Vinny's going to Battlebowl! COLE Oh please, it was Arturas who did all the work! BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of VINNY VALENTINE, and ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Vinny jumps up and down and celebrates as Arturas gives a blank stare into the crowd, before raising his arms. COACH But how about this Cole...Team Heyross! The Orange County Cobras! The Heavenly Rockers! The Moneygang! None of those teams could make it intact, but Panic at the Disco, Biff and Vinny...they're both going to the finals! COLE Well, anything can happen as a result of Battlebowl! Of course, the tag team champions, as well as the #1 contenders in the Moneygang, both had the misfortune of being drawn as opponents! And of course, V.I.C.E. will be represented by both of its members as well, with CPA qualifying earlier tonight! Suddenly, Cole and Coach are practically ambushed by Tony Tourettes, who puts on a headset and puts his arms around them. TONY WE DID IT! I TOLD BOTH YOU DIRTY FUCKERS! VINNY DIDN'T DO SHIT, IT WAS ALL THAT BIG BALD ASSHOLE, BUT HE MADE IT! WE STOMPED THEIR BIG, FAT VAGINAS! WE'RE GONN... Tony reaches back and grabs a fan's bucket of popcorn, eating a handful and tossing the rest of the bucket up in the air, with it all landing on Tony, Cole and Coach. He then grabs two Cokes from the crowd, raises them up in the air, and smashes them together, causing them to explode on all three men. Tony then lets out a big yell, before being pulled away by Vinny. COLE Well, hopefully we can get someone out here to clean things up during our next break, but first, we've got to talk about the Battlebowl finals, we've got a whole field set now, and here's the rundown! Thunderkid, Bohemoth, Logan Mann, Tango Bosley, Biff Atlas, Colombian Heat, Mr. Dick, Baron Windels, Denzel Spencer, Charlie Moss, Colin Maguire Jr., Leon Rodez, J-MAX, CPA, and the "team" we just saw, Vinny Valentine and Arturas, and I use quotations because that match was all the big man, Vinny did nothing out there! COACH But he got to Battlebowl! COLE That he did. We've had a lot of upsets, notably, Zack Malibu, Alfdogg, Reject all in qualifying matches, but did not advance, but we do have some big names in there, most notably, I believe, Leon Rodez and Bohemoth, set to meet in a stretcher match, will also both be competing in this battle royal! The Enterprise will send four members, Logan Mann, CMJ, as well as both members of V.I.C.E., CPA and Bosley! The Deadly Alliance will be represented by three men, Thunderkid, Mr. Dick, and of course Arturas who we just saw! Coach, do you have a prediction? COACH Well...we haven't seen the big man against the best competition as of yet, I want to see what he does in there with some of those bigger names! COLE Could you imagine Arturas coming face-to-face with Bohemoth? COACH Wow! COLE It's coming a week from tonight, the finals of Battlebowl at the Chi-Town Spectacular! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT! STRETCHER MATCH BOHEMOTH VS LEON RODEZ TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 COLE Molly Nerdly has been busy again this week. She's given us a special director's cut of one of her film projects, as she spent the day with Cucaracha Internacional. THE OAOAST: AN INTERNACIONAL WORKPLACE An internal look at OAOAST business By Molly Nerdly In a presumably borrowed business room at one of the OAOAST's weekly visits, Cucaracha Internacional are sat lined down a table. At the front of the room stands Landon Maddix, SWF ICTV OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Title over his shoulder. MADDIX I've called you all together today, because today is a special day. It's officially been a year and a half, give or take a few days, since we joined up and former Cucaracha Internacional. Now lately, we've been doing well for ourselves. We've got our brand new 8-Man Tag Team Titles and we're finally showing people what we're capable of. We're finally working like a unit. But, we can't get complacent. As a team, we should always be wanting more. More success. More accolades. More money. More, more, more. So, I feel that today is as good a day as ever to conduct a performance evaluation. Black and Blonde look confused. Faqu looks... well, he's chewing on something and not paying attention. BLACK Evaluation? MADDIX It's nothing to worry about Nat, relax. BLONDE (looking around) Is Todd not in on this, or something? MADDIX We will all be getting evaluated. We're a team, right? A unit? All parts equal? Trust me, nobody will be getting any special treatment from me. ~~~~~ Cut to Landon, pacing, on a cellphone. MADDIX Well, listen... no, no, it's nothing important, it's just a quick performance review, I... oh, well, how far away are you... can you not... no it's okay, I understand Todd, I... yeah, well, okay, to condense it down to the bottom line, much improved and again, I want to officially thank you for seeing what I've been trying to convince you of for so lo... oh... oh, okay... no, I completely understand, you, you go, you go, we'll talk another time, no sweat. Hanging up the phone, Landon turns to camera with a sheepish smile. MADDIX He was busy. ~~~~~ Cut to Landon at a commandeered desk. Sat on the other side is a thoroughly disinterested Nathaniel Black. MADDIX Now, don't worry, this is just a casual chat. Nobody's on trial here! (laughs) All good energy. Uhm, let's see. Well, I can't fault your work effort or your contribution to the cause. Every group needs someone to carry the workload. The organ grinder. The carthorse. Someone who's not concerned with hogging the spotlight and being the star. That's you right there Nat. BLACK Cheers, I guess. MADDIX I do have one minor constructive criticism to bring up. Just a small thing. So I don't want you to take this the wrong way. We're all friends here. It's just sometimes, you can be a little confrontational Nat. BLACK Confrontational? -*bleep*- off mate! And quit bloody callin' me Nat would yeh? MADDIX See that's kinda what I'm talking about right there. Black rolls his eyes and folds his arms. ~~~~~ MADDIX (to camera) Nat can be... a little grouchy sometimes. I think it's an English thing. But I know how to handle him. A good leader understands the complexities of his team. Nelson had to deal with all sorts. ~~~~~ Cut to Landon, now with Faqu sat in front of him. The Samoan fidgets in his seat, distracted by... well, seemingly everything around him. MADDIX ...you're doing fine. ~~~~~ Cut to later, with Megan now in the hotseat. MEGAN So, did you get anything out of this idea of yours? MADDIX I feel it's been very constructive, yes. You've got to have accountability in a team. If one part of the unit doesn't pull their weight, the whole thing falls apart. I need these guys to feel responsible. Responsible for the success and responsible for their role in keeping things going. And I think we're getting somewhere. So, let's get started, shall we? MEGAN Wait, you're evaluating me? MADDIX Of course! You heard me earlier, we'll all be evaluated. And last I checked you're a part of the team, so let's do this. But, before we get started, don't even think of trying to seduce me to get a good review. Let's keep this strictly professional. Clearly a jokey comment, Megan doesn't see the funny side, still amazed at the fact she's being evaluated and staring at Landon like he's lost his mind. ~~~~~ MADDIX (to camera) I jus... I just can't tolerate disloyalty. Even when it's from someone I'm 'involved' with. Actually, no, especially from someone I'm 'involved' with. Megan needs to realise, she's not getting a free ride. Not from me. You play favourites with your piece of skirt and VOOM, there's uproar. And I won't have anyone accusing me of nepotism. ~~~~~ MADDIX Okay. We've known each other for about six years now, so I think we both know each other about as well as we could. And I wouldn't swap that for the world. I mean, if I did replace you, think of what I'd be missing out on. You know how I like my coffee, what to avoid ordering in my sandwiches, my favourite fabric softener... quite frankly, you're invaluable. But, I feel like sometimes, you could be a little more supportive. MEGAN ...excuse me? MADDIX Well, just... how to put this delicately... you're prone to mood swings. And don't take that the wrong way, because that would prove my point. You know, I have all these great ideas, like this evaluation and you seem really enthusiastic. Then I say something or do something and suddenly you're throwing a hissy. Or you go all 'deadpan' and suddenly everything's a cause for saying something sarcastic. MEGAN Usually when you say or do something. MADDIX Exactly! And I don't understand it and it's not helpful. And then other times, I feel that you let our relationship get in the way of business. We have to stay professional. No matter what our urges. MEGAN Like the time you suggested we sneak away for a quickie while we were approving t-shirt designs? MADDIX (laughing nervously) I'm sorry... did... did I pass out and suddenly this is my evaluation? Can we just... stay on topic here please? Hehheh... ~~~~~ MEGAN (to camera) Sometimes, I dream that I'm choking him. ~~~~~ Cut to the desk again and the final evaluee, a confident James Blonde. BLONDE I just want to say, what an honour it's been to learn and develop under you. These past eighteen months have been some of the best of my entire life. You took this humble Canadian journeyman and you turned him into a champion. You did that! You gave me the confidence to be myself, the Trendsetter. All those years I spent in OAOVW, learning under people like Anglesault, like Tony Brannigan, like Zack Malibu. They could all learn a little something from you. I know I have. MADDIX (trying to act humble) Well... give me a second to write that down, I've got to put that on my resumé... BLONDE It's all true. And the best is yet to come, I know it. MADDIX Well I feel the same way. This group relies on unity and loyalty and I've never had a problem with you on that front. BLONDE Never will, boss. MADDIX I see that potential in you. It's true. It's like... I have a gift for seeing talent. And yours is shining bright. I couldn't ignore it and soon, nobody will be able to. BLONDE (lost for words) I... can't tell you how much it means hearing that from you. MOLLY (off camera) Oh God, cut! ~~~~~ MEGAN (to camera) What do I think of Landon? ~~~~~~ BLACK (to camera) He's an idiot. But, who ain't 'round 'ere? He's a successful idiot, that's what counts, innit? ~~~~~~ BLONDE (to camera) Landon is everything I aspire to be. ~~~~~~ MEGAN (to camera) My father had a saying. "If he had a brain, he'd be dangerous." He said it to me the very first time he met Landon actually. He was a good judge of character, my father. ~~~~~ FAQU *stares at camera* COACH You know something, Mikey, that Landon is a good person and a consummate business man. COLE Is that why the SWF went out of business? COACH No need for that kind of negativity. No need whatsoever. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 CHI-TOWN SPECTACULAR THE WINDY CITY IS ON FIRE ONCE AGAIN! FIRST BLOOD MATCH OAOAST WORLD TITLE Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Theodore Moneymaker Battlebowl battle royal Retirement match, No Holds Barred, no time limit, no interference Alfdogg vs Reject The LDC Moneygang & V.I.C.E. vs. Team Heyross & The Orange County Cobras French New Wave Vs Lorelei DeCenzo and Morgan Nerdly NEXT WEEK! JULY 31st! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 As we return from commercial break the much detested world champion, Theodore Moneymaker stands proudly in the ring. MONEYMAKER All great thinkers are said to be mad men in their time. I have been labeled everything from a narrow minded fool to a tyrant bordering on insane. I am neither a fool nor am I a tyrant. I am a man with unbreakable intellect and a kind giver of peace. I did not win this world title to do anyone person or thing harm, I have not pursued Krista all these years to cause her undue misery and anguish. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” MONEYMAKER I have chased Krista across this country…no across this very world for one reason and one reason alone. To fulfill my destiny. The destiny of the very world. Often times it may seem like the way I go after Krista is rooted in bigotry, hatred, and revenge. But the reality is its rooted in my need to satisfy fate. Every action I make is dedicated to one purpose, to ascend to the throne of the Moneymaker empire. The earth turns, people move and grow old, new lives are given, old ones are taken, but my goal remains the same! To be the king of my empire is a great responsibility. Because it is he and he alone, who models true greatness to his subjects! I posses greatness in voice, intellect and athletic ability. That is the SOLE reason I own this OAOAST World Title! “BOOOOOOO!” MONEYMAKER But behind every good man is a good woman! My good woman is the generously endowed Krista Isadora Duncan. This good man plans on getting behind that good woman a feat all of you are only able to dream of. BWAHHHHHAHHAAA! Yes, I must shed her blood, and it her in ways a husband can’t legally due to his wife. But to claim her as my trophy wife and have exclusive rights to her ample assets I will cross the very driest of deserts! Krista does not understand the simple beauty of this match. Her loss is still her win, she is free from her curse and her damned lesbian lifestyle. Better yet she forms with me the smartest and most successful couple in the history of this nation! “BOOOOOOO!” MONEYMAKER The Obamas? Liberal, radical, anti-Americans. Krista Moneymaker and Theodore Moneymaker? America’s true first family! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans aren’t thrilled with Moneymaker’s bravado, but they’re most certainly thrilled with the appearance of Krista. Leaping over the guardrail in spite of the bandages she wears on her shoulder, the fitness queen sports a hellish look. Into the ring she slides, where Moneymaker’s face sags with horror. He makes a hasty attempt to escape, but is his retreat is ended with a furious spear from Krista! COACH How the hell did she get here!? With her one good shoulder, Krista rains down elbows onto the beleaguered world champion. COLE I don’t know how she got here, I’m just glad she’s giving it to Moneymaker! Krista’s furious assault is halted by the arrival of backstage officials, desperate to separate the two sworn enemies. “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” With miraculous effort, the officials are finally able to break apart the warring superstars. Moneymaker, hiding behind Randy Savage and his cousin Tony Brannigan, blows kisses to Krista. Infuriated by this gesture Krista tries to break free of Jesse Ventura and Terry Taylor. However, her badly injured shoulder does not permit her such an action. COLE The first blood match between these two is going to be out of control! COMING UP NEXT! STRETCHER MATCH BOHEMOTH VS LEON RODEZ TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2009 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a STRETCHER MATCH! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER In this match, the only way to win is to render your opponent incapable of defending himself, before placing your opponent on the stretcher and wheeling him across the finishing line at the top of the aisleway. And now, ladies and gentlemen, introducing the first participant. "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park. And the camera pans up from the stretcher sitting in the aisleway to Leon Rodez, slowly emerging from the back. Dressed in black jeans and with his ribs still taped up from injuries suffered a few weeks ago, Leon is still in the process of wrapping his hands up with tape as he walks out. BUFFER From Grand Rapids, Michigan. Weighing in tonight at two hundred, eighteen pounds... the former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the world... LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE For the past few weeks Leon has been trying to sabotage the relationship between his niece Jade and Bohemoth. And it seems like he may have succeeded. But in doing so, Leon has had to sacrifice himself to an ever angrier Meterosexual Monster. Four weeks ago Leon was brutalised right here where we're sitting and had to be stretchered out of the arena, at the hands of Bohemoth. And if not for a cheap lowblow, it might have happened again at School's Out. Tonight, there's no buts or maybes, either Leon or Bohemoth will be stretchered on HeldDOWN~! Leon stalks his way down the aisle, passing the stretcher in the aisleway. He looks it over with fans motioning he's about to take another ride on it soon. Leon responds by tossing his empty tape roll in their direction. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Walking up the ring steps, Leon stops briefly and stares out into the crowd, taking a long breath before he enters the ring. He stands in the middle of the ring, looking out into the fans, a scowl on his face. COLE And with the Chi-Town Spectacular a week away, what an important match tonight, but what a thought in the backs of the minds of Leon and Bohemoth. Both men are focused on tonight, but both want to make it to the Battlebowl battle royal in one piece. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd explode as "Liberate" hits and Leon's focus turns from the crowd. Making his way out through the entrance, a slight limp hampers Bohemoth but makes him look no less determined. BUFFER And the opponent, from Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds. He is "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH You talk about these two making it to Chicago in one piece, they're barely in one piece already! Leon's got busted ribs, Bo's got a busted knee. And one of them's going out on a stretcher tonight. COLE Possible World Title implications in this personal battle. Bohemoth marches to the ring and forgetting the pain in his knee slides headlong into the ring, only to get jumped by stomps from Leon the moment he touches down! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING* COLE And right away Leon on the attack, before Bohemoth can even get in the ring. COACH What are you talking about, he's in the ring. COLE Well, to his feet then, either way it's a cheapshot! Leon stomps away on Bohemoth trying to keep him down, before pinning his neck down on the bottom rope and choking him. The referee puts a five count on Rodez but he realises fullwell that he can't be disqualified and just stares back coldly. Once he finally breaks Bohemoth tries to get back up but Leon pounces again and forces Bo's throat against the middle rope. COLE Leon determined, and wisely so, to stop Bohemoth getting to his feet. Which is going to limit the damage Bo can do for a while, if nothing else. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" With Bo coughing for breath, Leon takes a couple of steps and stomps Bohemoth in the back. Turning to the crowd he teases doing a jig, hearing the boos and instead laying in another stomp. Leon then hits the ropes. But Bohemoth pulls himself up and backdrops Leon up and over the top to the floor! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh and there goes Leon! And now Bohemoth is on his feet and on the warpath! Leon picks himself up on the outside, turning around to be met with a hard right hand to the jaw! The fans roar on Bohemoth as he tracks Rodez around the ring, nailing him with another right hand. Desperate to get away Leon dives to slide back into the ring. A hand wrapped around his ankle puts a stop to that though, dragged back out and dropped by another right. Leon tries again to get away, this time luring Bohemoth in... but Bo blocks Leon's right hand, takes him by the head and SLAMS it into the ring steps! COLE No disqualifications, no count-outs, the only way to win is to wheel your opponent past the finish line on a stretcher. Eyes rolling Leon slumps against the steps and is overwhelmed by a barrage of Bo's right hands that force him down into a seated position against the steel. COACH Bohemoth's gonna end up with a broken hadn to go with that gimpy knee if he keeps this up. Dayyum. After about a twelfth punch, The Meterosexual Monster waves the referee out of his way and when he talks, people listen. Getting a run-up across ringside Bohemoth charges at Rodez and throws a facewashing boot... *THUD!* ...which, thankfully, Leon avoids, the steps not so lucky and sent flying! COACH Woah! COLE If Bohemoth had connected there, that stretcher might have been the only way Leon could leave. While Bohemoth is off guard Leon pounces, leaping on Bohemoth's back and peppering with short punches. Bo shrugs Leon off and he falls against the guardrail, able to move again though as Bohemoth goes for a charge. Bohemoth clatters into the rail shoulder first and Leon shakes off the effects so far before grabbing a steel chair. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Looking down at the weapon in his hand, Leon scowls as he prepares a big swing... and gets the chair kicked out of his hands. COLE Uh-oh! COACH Caught with the hand in the cookie jar. And not the good kind! Stalked by an angry Monster, Rodez tries to reason with him... before suddenly going low and clipping the right knee of Bohemoth! COLE Caught him, right in the knee, the knee that Leon targetted two weeks ago in that sneak attack backstage! Bohemoth goes down onto his other knee grimacing in pain. Coming from off the apron, Leon delivers a double axehandle to the back. He then rolls Bohemoth back inside the ring, but doesn't follow. Instead he walks off to the aisle in search of the stretcher. COACH Here we go. COLE Leon looking for the stretcher, although it may be a little early to be thinking about wheeling Bohemoth away. Grabbing the stretcher with a glare at the fans beside it, Leon jerks it away and wheels it to the ring. Seeing Bohemoth pulling himself up on the far ropes Leon leaves the stretcher in front of the ring apron for now and slides back in. Leon marches over, grabbing a hold of Bohemoth, but getting a shot to the ribs. Leon comes back for more, taking another shot. And a third. Bohemoth then surprises him with a big clothesline! Bouncing back up, Leon takes another clothesline! And a third time he walks in, this time to be pressed overhead by the 284 pounder! COLE What strength! What power! COACH What is he doing with him!? Bohemoth holds Leon over his head and spots the stretcher, not taking long to get an idea. Namely, throwing Leon out and onto it! Before it can come to that, Leon desperately reaches out as he sees himself being carried towards the ropes, digging his fingers into Bohemoth's eyes! That forces Bohemoth to lose his grip. Landing on his feet behind Bohemoth, Leon quickly goes to the knee again, crumbling Bo with a chopblock. COLE That was a lucky, lucky escape. With Bo on all fours Leon throws some punches to the head, backing off the ropes and slamming a foot to the side of the skull. Grabbing the leg, Leon drops an elbow to the knee and locks it up, leaving a vulnerable spot to start digging and jabbing his fist and elbow into. COLE A frenzied attack on the knee now. Leon clearly feels that if he can take that out then Bohemoth will be incapacitated enough to be put on the stretcher and wheeled away. COACH It's a better tactic than trying to knock Bohemoth out, that's for sure. Leon gets back up and stomps Bo in the head, dazing him while he leaves the ring. And with a plan in mind, he drags Bohemoth's leg out of the ring. Reaching up, Rodez slams the leg down on the ring apron, to a growl of pain from the bigman! Leon then rests the leg down, reaches back for the stretcher and forcing the end of it against Bohemoth's kneecap. COLE And now Bohemoth's knee trapped between the apron and the stretcher, with nowhere to go... Keeping the leg trapped all the while, Leon moves around to the front of the stretcher. After one more quick jab, Leon pulls back on the stretcher and SLAMS it against the knee with even more force! Bohemoth shouts out in pain, writhing around but still trapped. Leon waits until he's settled down again before pulling the stretcher back and driving it in a second time! "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" After a third slamming of the knee Leon lets Bohemoth roll away. Slowly walking back up the steps, a cold look hangs on Leon's face. COLE You can just hear the disappointment and the betrayal in the voices of these OAOAST Marks. And Leon clearly doesn't care at all. COACH About nobody but himself... infact, maybe not even about himself! Leon walks over and kicks Bohemoth, an almost insulting kick. And again. Lashing out, Bohemoth is brushed aside and forced against the middle rope by Leon. With Bo's throat pressed against the rope Leon stands on his back, hanging onto the top rope as he leans back cruelly choking Bo down against the middle. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Jumping down, Rodez stands over Bohemoth for a second before leaving the ring. COACH Looks like he's going for it. Leon pulls Bohemoth outside with him and pulls him along, limping him over to the stretcher. Thrown face-first into the top, Bohemoth is dumped on top of the stretcher, to a worried reaction from the fans. COLE There's step one for Leon. Now, can he drag these 284 pounds up and over the line? Moving around the stretcher Leon pulls... and gets nowhere fast. Getting the 284 pounds moving proves a tough task and just as the stretcher starts wheeling a little more smoothly, Bohemoth rolls over and off it. Leon makes him pay with a kick, then tries to slam Bo's head into the stretcher again... but it's blocked. Two more blocked tries later, Bohemoth elbows Leon in the gut. And grabbing the head, he slams Leon's face into the stretcher! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Leon stumbles backwards, into the barricade. Using the stretcher to rest against, Bohemoth is still hurting and Leon is able to recover. But as he charges Bohemoth, the bigman elevates him up, LEAVING HIM TO DROP CHEST-FIRST INTO THE STRETCHER!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH! That's going to do the ribs no go whatsoever! Mouth wide-open Leon gasps for breath, shocked. Bohemoth sees an opportunity with Leon laid across the stretcher and tries to push for the line. But Leon is simply able to put his hanging feet down, slamming on the brakes. So Bohemoth decides to drag him back to the ring, putting him face-first into the ring apron! Falling to a knee Leon is still winded and gets kicked in the ribs for good measure. COACH It's turning into "who's injury is worse" at the moment. COLE Well neither of these two will leave this match unscathed. If we've learnt anything so far, it's that these two are going to have to punish each other to come out victorious tonight on HeldDOWN. Limping away, Bohemoth climbs up the steps and to the apron. He's prevented from re-entering the ring though, with Leon desperately clung onto his leg. Stepping out from the ropes, Bo manages to kick Leon off. Leon shakes it off though and catches Bohemoth midway into the ring, clipping his leg out from underneath him! COLE And AGAIN, to that knee! Bohemoth bounces off the apron to the arena floor in a heap. As he struggles to pick himself up, Leon walks away, heading for the stretcher again. COACH This is getting pretty desperate, pretty quick. Leant over the stretcher, waiting, Leon's eyes are fixed. Bohemoth manages to get back up, needing the apron for leverage. A glint forms in Leon's eye, this exactly what he wanted. Behind the wheel of the stretcher he rushes forward, aiming the unwielding object directly at the cornered Bohemoth's midsection at top speed... ...but suddenly comes to an abrupt halt! Bohemoth gets his hands out and manages to BLOCK the oncoming stretcher, to Leon's shock!! COLE NO NO! Bohemoth blocking, what incredible power to hold Leon off! Not so much a tug of war, it's more of a push of war as both men force on either side of the stretcher, trying to ram it into the other's stomach. Bohemoth exerts his power and Leon finds himself being backed up. Slowly, but surely. He hangs on, trying with all his might to push back on Bohemoth... before suddenly lurching forward! Bohemoth steps aside, letting Leon's momentum run HIMSELF into the stretcher as it jams against the ring apron! COACH No fair! COLE One of the oldest tricks in the book and it never fails to amuse. Unless you're on the recieving end. And especially when it ends with a stretcher jamming into your ribs. Leon reels around in pain and gets picked up, aimed... AND DROPPED ONTO THE STRETCHER, SPINEBUSTER STYLE!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Another jolt to the ribs and now may be Bohemoth's chance! Urged on by the Lincoln crowd Bohemoth grabs the handle of the stretcher and starts to heave it towards the line. With fewer problems than Leon had earlier, making good speed, apart from his bad knee. Excitement builds in the crowd as Bohemoth gets halfway towards the line, seemingly nothing to stop him. But something does stop him, Leon realising where he is and kicking out, catching Bohemoth in the face with his boot! COACH There's thinking on your... uhm, back. Rodez manages to roll off of the stretcher with Bohemoth groggy. And before the bigman can recover, Leon takes the stretcher and shoves it, slamming right into Bohemoth's hip! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And another resourceful move by Leon there. Clutching his ribs Leon grabs a breather, while Bohemoth falls to one knee again. COLE Boy these two are taking it out of each other. I can think of fourteen other men right now, very happy at what's unfolding this close to the Chi-Town Spectacular. Two of the favourites in that Battlebowl battle royal, being weakened up. Turning away, Leon walks back to ringside and heads around the ring, looking for the steel chair he had earlier. Bohemoth starts to make his way back too, leaning on the stretcher as he does. Leon slides the chair back into the ring as he sees Bohemoth making it to the apron, looking to meet him from the inside. He pulls Bohemoth up onto the apron, giving him a right hand. And a second. Bohemoth teeters, hovering over the stretcher he'd left behind him. Spotting this, Leon delivers another right, trying to drop Bo onto the stretcher. COACH Bo's on the brink. With Bohemoth hanging on by one hand Leon quickly goes for the chair, looking for the one final shot. He swings with the chair... but it's BLOCKED! Bohemoth shoves the chair back at Leon, before blocking a right hand and clotheslining Rodez down from the apron! COLE What a main event, here on HeldDOWN, this is why we're the number one episodic fluctuating timeslot brand in parody sports! COACH Or, something. COLE Exactly. Bohemoth climbs back inside and whips Leon to the ropes. Scoop up and a sideslam, plants Leon, but tests Bohemoth's knee in the process. He limps back up and looks out to the crowd, who respond! Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE It looks like it's time! All the encouragement he needed, Bohemoth reaches down and goes to pick Leon up... ...AND GETS JAMMED IN THE GUT WITH THE CHAIR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leon quickly pulls himself up... *CRACK!* ...and DRILLS Bohemoth across the back with a despairing shot! COACH Leon put everything he had behind that one! Tossing the chair aside, Leon sits on his knees, with Bo on all fours. And Leon gets a look in his eye. A bad look. He lines Bohemoth up, waiting for him to push up onto his knees and turn his way, a sitting target for the ROLLING SOBA... ...NO, DUCKED! COLE No-one home with the kick! Bohemoth snatches Leon by the throat and if looks could kill, he wouldn't need to do any more to Leon than that! Unfortunately, they don't. So Leon manages to kick him in the knee and free himself. Spinning around, Leon lands with the Rolling Sobat, albeit just to the gut. With Bohemoth doubled up, Leon wrings the arm and places his foot against Bohemoth's jaw, before falling back! COLE The Sole Destroyer! Still up but staggered, Bohemoth is measured by Leon, who comes off the ropes. Bohemoth recovers and gets a boot up, only a glancing blow though. Shaking it off, Leon shouts in determination and comes off the ropes again. He charges full speed at Bohemoth, who's fallen against the ropes... and ducks his head... backdropping Leon over the top... *THUD!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...AND ALL THE WAY DOWN ONTO THE STRETCHER!!!!!! COLE OH... MY~! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Leon lays on the stretcher for a second before it tips, just to add insult to injury. In a heap on the floor he curls up in pain while Bohemoth falls and clutches his knee. COLE Leon Rodez, falling what had to be seven, eight feet over the top, right down onto the stretcher! COACH It's over. It's gotta be after that. COLE If Bohemoth can capitalise, then yes. Looking outside, Bohemoth rolls out of the ring seeing his chance. Still favouring his knee he picks up the stretcher, righting it on his wheels, before dragging Leon up. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" COLE These fans sensing victory! Bohemoth lifts Leon up and onto the stretcher, with very little resistance. Leon clutches his ribs tightly as Bohemoth gets behind the stretcher, which proves an easier job than pulling it, aiming for the line. COLE Here we go. Bohemoth gets towards the halfway point of the aisle, when suddenly, things come to a stop. Turning around, he notices a camera cable stopping him in his tracks. After a couple of tugs on it he realises it's pulled as far as it will go and curses, realising he's stuck. What he doesn't realise is where the cable is caught, not around the stretcher, but tight in Leon's arms! COLE Wait a minute, do you see that? Leon's got a hold of one of our cables! COACH Brilliant! COLE Leon's managed to wrap up on that cable, a last ditch attempt to save himself from being wheeled away! Unable to find any cable around the wheels or the legs of the stretcher, Bohemoth looks confused. And angry. He pulls on the cables trying to figure out what the problem is, pulling hard enough and angrily enough to bring Leon off the stretcher. COLE I think Bohemoth's just realised what the problem is. Bohemoth has and he takes it out on Leon, stomping away repeatedly against the stretcher. And continuing to stomp until Leon gives up the cable! Eventually the stomps open Leon up and Bohemoth is able to unwrap the cable from around Leon's body, before dumping him back up onto the stretcher. After slamming his head down a couple of times, Bohemoth then heads for the line again. COLE Here goes Bohemoth again, but that minute's pause might have been enough to help Leon recover. As he approaches the line the crowd get louder, Bohemoth just a few metres away... ...when suddenly Leon reaches back and gouges at Bohemoth's eyes! COACH Again! Man, Leon's not giving up without a fight, is he? Leon manages to turn himself over onto his front as he goes for Bohemoth's eyes. Able to shrug it off though, Bohemoth catches Leon with a right hand. Leon is on his knees on the stretcher, leant against Bohemoth, who nails him with another right. And another. And another. COACH Bo's fighting, but if he can't get Leon down on that stretcher, he can't push it, cause he's gonna fall off. As the punches continue, Leon gets desperate and falls forward BITING BOHEMOTH IN THE FOREHEAD!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE This is sheer desperation, nothing more! With Bohemoth affected by the desperate tactic, Leon lets go. Unsteady knelt on the edge of the stretcher, he clings onto Bohemoth as he grabs a front facelock. Feeling the stretcher moving underneath him Leon struggles with his balance. But as the stretcher wheels from underneath him, Leon times it perfectly AND JAMS BOHEMOTH INTO THE CONCRETE WITH A FALLING DDT!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" COLE OH... GOD! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Bohemoth lays flat out, not moving, with Leon beside him grabbing his ribs. COLE Bohemoth just got SPIKED, head-first, right down onto the concrete! COACH You've got to give it up, another resourceful move from Leon in a tough position. COLE A resourceful move and a sickening outcome, Bohemoth may be knocked out! Wearily, Leon turns over to Bohemoth. He flips Bohemoth onto his back to see if he's conscious, which if he is, it's only barely. Which comes as a relief to Leon at first. But pulling himself to his feet, Leon is forced to trek down the aisle to retrieve the stretcher, which went skidding away in the midst of his DDT. Once he wheels it back over, Leon then looks down at Bohemoth and kneels down to pick him up, only to find him deadweight. COLE Well now all Leon has to do is get Bohemoth onto the stretcher and wheel him these last eight feet across that line. But that may be easier said than done. Leon looks despondent, realising he's still got to lift Bohemoth up, after spending so long trying to put him down. He tries again, with no success and looks about ready to give up. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Shaking his head and not looking at all confident, Leon has to force himself to get down and try again. And this time he manages to just about get Bohemoth up, to his knees anyway, resting him against the stretcher. Taking a deep breath, he heaves Bohemoth up again, to his feet, before exhaustedly rolling him onto the stretcher. COACH That was an effort in itself. And he's still got to push him over the line! COLE But that line isn't far away and this is going to be all over here, surely. Leon takes another moment's rest and recovery, to get the strength to push the stretcher. He struggles to get it going, but manages to eventually, just a short couple of feet away now. Coming to a stop Leon holds his ribs, trying to get himself set for one last effort. He walks around and gets set to drag Bohemoth over the line, first leaning over and saying something in the bigman's ear... ...AND SUDDENLY GETS GRABBED BY THE THROAT!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE WAIT JUST A MINUTE!! COACH Oh no! Just feet from the line, Bohemoth has Leon in a choke and slides off the stretcher onto his feet! Grabbing hold of Leon's jeans, Bohemoth turns Leon over, onto the stretcher... and over the top of the stretcher! Leon lands on the other side and pops Bo with a desperation right hand. COLE Ooh. Bohemoth is dazed and Leon breathless, both struggling. And both just one big effort from winning. Realising this, Leon sucks it up and takes a run at Bohemoth, vaulting over the stretcher with a crossbody press... NO! CAUGHT! COACH Uh oh! Uh oh! The shock on Leon's face says it all, as Bohemoth sets himself and aims Leon by the stretcher, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! ONTO THE STRETCHER~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! Onto the stretcher! Leon lays splattered on the stretcher and all it takes is one guiding push from Bohemoth, sending the stretcher the last couple of feet AND OVER THE LINE, SIGNALLING THE END OF THE MATCH!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE It's over! It's over! Bohemoth wins the Stretcher Match!! *DINGDINGDING!* The stretcher rolls to a stop, Leon still laid to waste across it as Bohemoth's hand is raised in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this match... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMOOOOOTTHHHHH!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Falling to a knee, Bohemoth feels the effects of the match despite the win, a grimace on his face. COLE Finally, some measure of revenge has been gained for Bohemoth! And now, he can look forward to next week in Chicago, in whatever condition he can get himself in, to challenge for Battlebowl! COACH If he can get into condition. He might be there. So might Leon. But for sure, neither of them will be 100% after tonight. COLE But for now Bohemoth won't care about that. Vindication and retribution tonight... Leon Rodez takes the stretcher ride, Bohemoth takes the wave of momentum to Chicago! Bohemoth picks himself back up and lets out an intense victory shout, arms raised, as Leon lies behind him; stretchered. FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
