OAOAST HeldDOWN 9/10/09

[Patty O'Green 0]

PRESENTED IN HD

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

 

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-

-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-

-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

 

 

 

 

We swing into the OAOAST arena

 

 

COLE

Ladies and gentlemen HeldDOWN is live and on the air from Hartford! I'm Michael Cole sitting alongside Johnathan The Coach Coachman for another explosive episode of TV's top rated sports entertainment program!

HEY! WAIT! I GOT NEW COMPLAINT!

 

Hard 90’s grunge is welcome to ears but Logan Mann appearing beside his beloved wife Holly is not a sight for sore eyes. Wearing leather pants with a glittering rose down the side and an equally gaudy sword down the other, Logan bangs his head to the rockin tune. In a red bikini top and a plaid skirt, Holly merely frowns at the booing audience.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes Now making his way to the ring accompanied by The Angel of Death Holly, he weighed in at 217 pounds, from Sin City, Nevada, he is….THE MACHO MACHO MANN….LOGAAAAAN MAAAAAAAAN

 

COLE

Not a love shown for Logan Man who continues the rivalry with D*LUX here tonight in Hartford. The Rockers have the win between the two teams, but bad blood still remains.

 

Multi color spotlights flash about the ring, as Logan stands on the apron taunting the Hartford OAOAST Marks.

 

Cue: “Makes Me Wonder”

 

Women across the stadium get to their feet and scream as loud as they can for Tyler Bryant who bounds onto stage. The handsome superstar works the audience into further frenzy by removing his denim jacket and showing off his sexy stomach. Behind him the managerial duo of Jade and Maya wave pom-poms to celebrate their client.

 

BUFFER

And the opponent! From the state of Michigan he is accompanied by Jade Rodez-Duncan and Maya Duncan-Blanchard, he weighed in at 196 pounds, he is TREMENDOUS TYLER BRYANT!

 

Heading down the ramp proves dangerous for Tyler who has every female in the front row reaching and grabbing for him. He finally slides into the ring, and kips to his feet to a huge ovation from the fans.

 

COLE

Well, we’re joined by Maya Duncan-Blanchard who as we recently found out was the only 9th grade girl to make Varsity Field Hockey at her school.

 

MAYA

And I didn’t have to break anyone’s kneecaps to do it!

 

DING DING DING

 

Forgoing any sportsmanship, the two rivals begin launching furious punches against each other. As Tyler gets the upper hand, a frustrated Logan ends the fight by punting the boybander in the pork and beans.

 

MAYA

You can’t appreciate how much that hurts until you’ve taken sex-ed.

 

On the outside Jade derides Logan’s tactics, while Holly roots him on and begs for more. Mann treats his wife to more violence by whipping Bryant into the corner posts and following it up with a lariat. As his foe stumbles out the corner Mann makes a run of the ropes.

 

MAYA (shouting)

Atomic drop!

 

Atomic drop it is as Bryant catches Logan and drops him onto his raised knee.

 

MAYA

I’m a genius.

 

Tyler scoops his wounded foe onto his shoulder seeking a samoan drop. However, Mann regains his strength and manages to fall out the hold. Coming behind Tyler, he batters his foe with hard punches to the back of the head.

 

COLE

In MMA that’s illegal but unfortunately the OAOAST has no rules against those type of strikes.

 

Logan shoves Tyler into the corner, and smirking to himself proceeds to tag Tyler with his WICKED left hands. Bryant wilts bellow the blows, allowing Loga to move onto more dangerous strikes such as shoulder strikes to Tyler’s lean midsection. Once done with those attacks, Mann snapmares his rival to the canvas. He then scoots up to the second rope, where he angers the audience with a bit of headbanging. Done with that he leaps off the ropes and drives his boots into Tyler’s back! A pinfall is the made….

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Tyler kicks out!

 

“WE LOVE TYLER! WE LOVE TYLER! WE LOVE TYLER!” the Marks chant with Jade leading them on.

 

Logan and Holly both bark the audience as Mann brings Bryant to his feet. He then throws Bryant into the ropes.

 

MAYA

Cross body block!

 

Tyler uses just that trick and successfully crashes into Logan.

 

MAYA

What can I say? When you can read at a grad student level like me its easy to outsmart most wrestlers who are illiterate and partially retarded!

 

As Mann attempts to stumble to his feet, Bryant rushes to the ropes. But his black boot is grabbed by Holly! Bryant complains to her about her behavior, but gets a gruff “Fuck Off” back in return.

 

COACH

Its great to have Holly back, she's the type of gal we need more of in sports entertainment. So refreshing and honest.

 

MAYA

YOU LIE!

 

Holly’s distraction gives Mann the time he needs to recover and start beating away at Bryant with those powerful left hands. After his punches push Bryant to the corner he grabs onto the back of Tyler’s head and slams his face repeatedly into the ring posts. Letting Tyler go, the hunky boybander staggers down the ropes. This is to his determent as Mann chokes him on the ring ropes.

 

“BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss, while Jade paces nervously on the outside.

 

“ROCK N ROLL NEVER DIES!” Logan shouts out to the crowd, continuing to choke Bryant on the ring ropes. Eventually he’s forced to relent his cheap tactics, and thus he captures Tyler in set up for a back suplex. Lifting Tyler into the air, he prepares to drop him backwards, but Bryant flips out the move and earns a great cheer from the fans. But their joy doesn’t last very long as Logan whirls around to smash his left hand into his throat.

 

“LEMME HEAR THE MUSIC, HARTFORD!” Logan shouts sarcastically.

 

“YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

 

Logan nods in appreciation towards the hateful crowd as he wraps Tyler into a front facelock. A finger twirl of doom further ruins the crowd’s mood. The Percussion DDT he strikes Tyler with doesn’t help matters either.

 

COLE

That’s not good!

 

MAYA

No, wearing your shirt inside out on the first day of school is “not good”, this is horrible!

 

Logan hooks Tyler’s left leg for a pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Jade puts Tyler’s foot on the ropes.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

MAYA

She’ll call in 3 separate house keepers to pour her a glass of Ice Tea, but she moves like the wind to break up a pinfall!

 

Holly and Jade exchange words, with the always vulgar Holly doing most of the talking.

 

COLE

These two get a chance to meet at Zero Hour as part of the six woman scramble match. Maya, you have to like your sister’s chances for winning.

 

MAYA

Nah, not really.

 

Logan brings Tyler back to his feet, where he tags him with left jabs. He then hooks onto the side of his head and begins twisting it around to begin a neck breaker. But Tyler stuns Logan by springing to life and rolling him into a small package…

“YEAAAAAAA!”

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Logan immediately pops out the pin and springs to his feet with fire burning across his face. He attacks the handsome superstar with powerful left handed punches, and is met with sharp blows in return. Having enough of being pounded by The Tremedous one, Mann shoves him away into the ropes. Tyler returns fire with a yakuza kick. But the MACHO macho Mann slides out the way, causing Tyler to stumble after a frustrating miss. The rock n wrestling legend is able to breathe a sigh of relief, and then whips Tyler back into the ropes. This time Holly appears on the ring apron, cussing out the cute performer. Having heard enough of Holly’s foul mouth, Jade yanks her off the ring apron and spears her to the ground!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

MAYA

Way to go, Jade! Ewww did I actually say something nice about her?

 

Mann makes the mistake of being more concerned with the cat fight than his foe in the ring. This is problematic as Tyler yakuza kicks him over the ropes!

 

“YEAAAAAAA” a mighty roar comes from the delighted audience who watch the rock n wrestling legend tumble onto the ring apron. Tyler continues his attack by grabbing onto the back of his neck and hauling him upright. He hooks him into a front facelock and then lifts him into the air for a vertical suplex. But Mann’s experience buys him an escape as he shimmies down Tyler’s back out the hold. He then rolls up Tyler in a school boy with a hook of the tights.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Tyler kicks out!

 

COACH

Logan needs to hit that Percussion and put this fool away for the night.

 

MAYA

And someone needs to put your microphone away for THE REST OF ETERNITY! I always wondered why dad says ESPN is borderline unwatchable, and I’m sitting next to the reason why.

 

COLE

Sonned!

 

Tyler and Logan hop to their feet where Logan fires a wild left hand at his foe. Tyler slides out the way and as Logan stumbles from his miss, the Tremendously handsome performer takes his foe onto his shoulders. The fans go wild in antcipation for the forthcoming finisher.

 

COLE

Idolizer coming up!

 

But once again Logan manages an escape, by sliding down Tyler’s backwards and hooking him into a pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Tyler rolls out and both men spring to their feet at the same moment. Seeing red Tyler charges forward only to be kneed in the grits and gravy by his unscrupulous foe.

 

MAYA

Hey, ref, are you blind?

 

CLEM

Yes, Krista, I am.

 

MAYA

On the embarrassing scale, this ranks about a solid 7!

 

Logan twirls his finger towards the disdainful crowd, and then falls backwards with the lethal Percussion DDT! A pinfall is then made, which Buzzlefoxer counts…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING DING

 

MAYA

Awwwww man!

 

Logan exits the ring, forgoing his usual celebration with Holly in order to berate Jade for her failings as a manager.

 

BUFFER

Your winner-

 

Buffer’s announcement is cut short by the shock and surprise of Tyler leaping over the ropes and flattening Logan with a lariat! The fans offer huge cheers for Tyler unexpected attack, and the cute boybander fires both himself and them up.

 

COLE

Oh my! Tyler Bryant letting Logan Mann know exactly what he thinks of him!

 

MAYA

And he doesn't think too highly!

 

“WE LOVE TYLER! WE LOVE TYLER! WE LOVE TYLER!” the fans chant as we cut to....

[Patty O'Green 0]

Backstage, where Queen Esther paces frantically. Also on hand, the Last Kings of Scotland and OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

(to Last Kings)

Where can they be? It isn’t like them to be late. *gasp* You don’t suppose…

 

TAYLOR

Pardon the interruption, Your Majesty, but after everything that’s gone down recently involving the Last Kings of Scotland and Orange County Cobras, which all started when the Last Kings executed Theodore Moneymaker‘s hit…

 

SCOTTISH SCOTT/DANNY BOY

 

QUEEN ESTHER

How dare you accuse these fine gentlemen of being cold-blooded hitmen. They merely helped a citizen in need!

 

TAYLOR

Simon and Ned beg to differ. That’s why they asked and have received a match here tonight against the Last Kings of Scotland.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Must everything today be settled by violence?

 

* crowd roars *

 

QUEEN ESTHER

(gasps, looks up)

Oh, how awful!

 

TAYLOR

I take it you don’t agree with OAOAST President Josie Baker’s decision to grant their request.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Of course not! My men have done nothing to warrant being put in a match against two dangerous creatures.

 

TAYLOR

You mean the Orange County Cobras?

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Yes! Cobras are poisonous, you know?

 

LUCIUS SOUL (Off-screen)

And what’s one way to kill a snake?

 

Esther’s face lights up as THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB walk onto the interview set with PUGIL STICKS.

 

RICO DE JANEIRO

You club it to death!

 

The sticks are tossed to Scott and Danny who tee off on each other.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Oh, joy, joy, joy! You’re alive and well! I’ve read how dangerous the world is outside the magic kingdom.

 

RICO

Queen E, ain’t nobody -- and I mean nobody -- know the streets better than the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, even in a dump like Hartford, Connecticut. We had to crack a few heads along the way…

 

LUCIUS

And tap a little ass! *laughs*

 

RICO

Hey, what can we say? The chicks dig us, mang. But to finish my point, your knights brought the shining armor like promised

 

TAYLOR

For what exactly?

 

SCOTTISH SCOTT

Always up for a good fight the Last Kings are, but this match signed tonight is no good fight, mate. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime because no crime was committed! However, if those dumb blonds are still hell-bent on facing us, then let’s do it like the gladiators of old: let’s JOUST.

 

DANNY

Aye. Let’s see who the real tough guys are.

 

RICO

Hey, Sweet Lou, you hear that, mang? The Rooster made some crack about his cock and the Last Kings moms.

 

SCOTTISH SCOTT/DANNY BOY

 

TAYLOR

I did not!

 

The Last Kings raise their sticks.

 

TAYLOR

Uh-oh. I’m outta here!

 

Terry flees as the Last Kings give chase.

 

In footage from earlier in the today, at the rear of the arena, a sullen Leon Rodez is seen entering with Morgan Nerdly following dutily behind him.

 

 

Back into the ringside area "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits. Red and blue lights splash across the stage as Baron Windels marches out and points to either side of himself, as MARV and MEL rush out, The Christ Air Express, hitting their leaping double high-five. The CAE's orange and blue ascending pyro rockets combine with Baron's orange descending one (thankfully aimed away from the guys on the stage) and all is right with the world. Melody Nerdly jogs out to join her team, followed out by a waving Tim Cash

 

BUFFER

The following eight man tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first. At a total combined weight of eight hundred and fifty five pounds. They are accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY. First, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS, they are CITIZEN SOLDIERS... and their partners, MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AAAIIIIIIRRR... EEEXXXPPRRREEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The CAE hit the ring first and climb the turnbuckles to play to the crowd. Baron and Cash make a calmer walk to the ring, the kind Tim holding the ropes open for Melody.

 

COLE

What a fine selection of OAOAST talent!

 

COACH

Aka, buncha whitebread nice guys you like.

 

As the foursome exchange high-fives and, in the case of Cash, handshakes, boos begin to filter through the crowd. Not for the whitebread good guys, but for the equally white LANDON MADDIX, appearing on the stage with a microphone and his SWF OAOAST 6-Man ICTV title belt over his shoulder.

 

MADDIX

Guys. Good to see you out here. Now, I know a couple of weeks ago, you won your match with the Queen's team and I made it pretty clear on commentary that I was looking for some 8-man tag challengers out of that match. And I know that weeks before that, I stated to the world that Cucaracha Internacional would take on any challenge, from any eight man team, to prove that we are infact the best unit in the entire OAOAST. But, here's the thing. I went to go back and watch over your match, because even though you won, I remember thinking during the match, you weren't so much a four man team, as two two man teams together. And that's the kind of thing I notice as leader of the 8-Man Tag Team Champions. It bugged me. Thing is, my lousy DVR didn't record the show that week. Thank you, Best Buy. And when I went to watch the tape afterwards, the guys in the production truck said they didn't have any copies of it for some reason.

 

COLE

Gee, I wonder who to blame for that. Maybe the woman who's been going around burning any tape of her men losing!

 

COACH

That Best Of All The Queen's Men DVD is gonna be a bitch to compile.

 

MADDIX

With no footage to review, all I've got to go off is my memory and as I said, I don't remember being overly impressed. Infact, if anything, I was more impressed by your opponents... the Queen guys. So, tonight, I've set up a little match for you. A chance to impress me. If you guys can win in under five minutes, we'll give you a title shot at Zero Hour. But if not, then I guess I'll have to give it to the Queen and her guys. Best of luck.

 

Baron, Cash and The CAE talk this revelation over, looking confused.

 

MADDIX

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for their opponents, three thirds of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions, three parts of the strongest unit in the OAOAST, reigning champions since way back in November of 2008...

 

The grand introduction is interrupted, though, as out onto the stage appears Megan Skye... and Megan Skye alone.

 

MADDIX

...accompanied by Megan Skye, I guess, ladies and gentlemen, JA...

 

Megan makes a cutting throat gesture.

 

MADDIX

Megan, honey, I'm kinda busy here. I'll be with you in a second. AS I WAS SAYING, JAMES BLO...

 

Megan makes the gesture again. Rolling his eyes, Landon turns around and realising he's in public, speaks through gritted teeth. Sadly, still loud enough for the microphone he neglects to discard to pick up.

 

MADDIX

What? What was it?

 

MEGAN

There's a problem.

 

MADDIX

(looking around nervously)

Uhm... where are the guys?

 

MEGAN

They're not coming.

 

MADDIX

What do you mean they're not coming!? You went to Australia with them and you got back okay. Oh. I see. Don't tell me, they were eaten by kangaroos! Great prank! Ha ha ha! You're a laugh a minute. Seriously though where are they?

 

MEGAN

Well, somebody forgot to sort out their paperwork, so now, they can't get into the country.

 

MADDIX

What!? No no, that can't be right. I told you a couple of weeks ago we needed to get the visas sorted and you told me you were going to fax them over and I...

 

Landon slowly trails, his eyes widening.

 

MEGAN

Didn't check your e-mails, I know.

 

MELODY

Yeah, it's 2009 grampa, who even uses a 'fax machine' nowadays? Phff! What did ya do, write the paperwork on a 'typewriter'. Do you, like, work out of a museum?!

 

Processing all this news, Landon realises he's in the wrong, but does a good job of being annoyed with Megan anyway.

 

COLE

Cucaracha Internacional were over in Australia doing promotional work, ready for our show next week in Sydney and it looks like our foreign friends had some problems at the immigration desk!

 

MADDIX

Alright, fine. I'll be in the match! I'm no illegal alien! South Dakota, born and bred baby. Yee-ha! No visa problems here!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

MADDIX

Don't boo me, I'm an American! Darn tootin'... and so forth. (turns to Megan) Find me three partners. Quick.

 

MEGAN

Way ahead of you. What a surprise.

 

As she mutters that line under her breath, Megan hands Landon a piece of paper.

 

MADDIX

Okay, well, my point still stands. You guys still have to win in under five minutes or I'm going to have to give the lovely Queen's group the first shot. Don't think you're getting off easy. And aside from me, you're going to be facing my three tag team partners...

 

Landon gives the big build-up, made bigger when he stops and just stares at the paper, squinting as if confused by the words he's reading.

 

MADDIX

My... partners? ... Wesley Price... Chuck McChesney... and "Burly" Billy Fergus!? Who are these people!?

 

These people would be jobbers. And those jobbers walk out, filling Landon with even more despair as he's confronted by two skinny, pasty white bodies and the kinda pudgy, hairy body of Pinkerton. Landon looks over at Megan, who shrugs her shoulders and says "it's the best I could do", before WALKING OFF. Yes, she actually walks off and saddles Landon with the three geeks as he stands with arms open, wondering what the hell is going on.

 

COLE

This is FAR from the strongest unit in the OAOAST. In terms of strong units, this may be the IKEA of professional wrestling teams!

 

COACH

I swear that guy in the blue was one of the guys putting up the ring earlier. SWEAR IT.

 

Landon looks completely helpless and after realising there's no way out, he looks at his 'partners', who are all grouped in front of him as if waiting for instructions on what the hell to do. Landon angrily tells them to "get to the ring" and eventually follows.

 

COLE

Well this will be a test of Landon's leadership skills, for certain.

 

The three no-names with stupid names climb onto the apron, with Landon on the stops. He points at one of them and tells them to get in the ring, hands annoyed on his hips. And that one starts off with Tim Cash, for the amused team on the other side.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING*

 

Cash offers a handshake to the first rookie, Wesley Price. Which he accepts, causing Landon to angrily turn his back on the match.

 

COLE

At least wait until he gets beat before you flip out.

 

They circle and lock-up. Cash quickly goes behind on Wesley and takes him down in a waistlock. Cash floats over and applies a front facelock, before barrel rolling Wesley over and forcing his shoulders down...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Landon comes in and breaks the count.

 

COLE

Landon, clearly with no faith in his partner.

 

COACH

Can you blame him?

 

Cash seems as annoyed as Tim Cash can get and sportingly lets his opponent get back up. Another handshake is offered and Price goes to accept, as shouts of "KICK HIM!" echo from his corner... and the impressionable rookie does it, earning him a chorus of boos!

 

COACH

Now come on, how can you not say Landon's a great leader? It took him 20 seconds to get this kid clued in. 20 seconds!

 

Even Price looks surprised at what he just did and takes a moment to follow up. He hits Cash with a couple of forearms, before hitting the ropes. Cash ducks a clothesline though and fires off a Backbrain Wheelkick, felling young Wesley! Rolling to his feet, Cash makes the tag to Baron Windels. The big Texan helps Price up, then nails him with a Cowboy Bebop elbow! Baron then wrings the arm. Which is too much for Landon, running into the ring and breaking up the 'submission', then dragging Wesley over to the corner with him, so Chuck McChesney can tag in.

 

COLE

Let's see if this young man fares any better against The Lonestar Gunslinger.

 

After a peptalk from Landon, McChesney is fired up. So fired up that he lets out a semi-convincing warcry and charges across the ring. Unfortunately, he charges right into Baron Windels' boot to the face and is turned inside out.

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Landon holds his head in his hands.

 

COACH

This is completely unfair! Landon wasn't expecting this when he made this match, he had different opponents, people who could last five minutes... this shouldn't be happening!

 

COLE

If Landon and Cucaracha Internacional are so open to any challenge, what does it matter? Why does he not want to be facing Baron, Cash, MARV and MEL instead of All The Queen's Men?

 

COACH

...that's not the point!

 

Tag is made to MARV. He instantly tags to MEL, allowing five seconds to whip McChesney to the ropes. A double back elbow knocks him down. MARV then picks MEL up for a back suplex and jumps forward, causing all four legs to come down on McChesney with a modified double legdrop!! The Christ Air Express quickly roll back to their feet, catching Landon running towards them and causing him to take a u-turn back out of the ring.

 

MADDIX

...damnit, don't stand there staring at me, get in there!

 

"Burly" Billy does as he's told and runs into the ring.

 

Actually, 'run' probably isn't the word for it. He uses his momentum to move forward at a certain pace. MARV and MEL have plenty of time to catch onto the chubby jobber's arm and twist them with double arm wringers. Sandwiching his head with double elbow strikes, they twist away and connect with an enziguri/gamengiri combo, sandwiching him again! With Fergus dazed, they guide him off towards Baron, who comes off the top with the Flying Lariat!!

 

COLE

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!!

 

Back up, McChesney and Price find themselves faced off with MARV and MEL respectively. They turn and go to hit the ropes, but run straight into each other, in a cartoonish manner.

 

COACH

...do you really think this is the best Megan could have found?

 

COLE

I think it's the best she cared to find.

 

Landon watches on, resigned. Melody's team stand around watching McChesney and Price trying to help each other to their feet, waiting for her signal...

 

 

MELODY

(deep voice)

FINISH HIM.

 

 

MARV and MEL take McChesney and take him to the PEARLY GATES with a Flatliner/Enziguri!! Next to them, Baron dishes out the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL, while Cash thinks about putting on the Midwest Sling to Fergus, but decides he's suffered enough.

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

And it looks like we've got ourselves number one contenders for Zero Hour.

 

COACH

Shenanigans!

 

With hands on hips, Landon purses his lips, UNIMPRESSED with this turn of events.

 

BUFFER

Your winners of the match, the team of BARON WINDELS, TIM CASH and THE CHRIST AIIIIIRRR EXPRESS!!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Baron leans over the ropes and opens up his arms, wondering if Landon is suitably impressed. Hands still on hips Landon just sadly turns and walks away, shaking his head.

 

COLE

Do you ever get the feeling Landon gets what he deserves sometimes?

 

COACH

How do you figure that?

 

COLE

Well, if he'd not told Megan he was going to do something and then not done it, maybe he might have provided a tougher five minutes, to stop Baron, Cash and The Christ Air Express from getting their title shot for whatever reason.

 

COACH

He doesn't want to stop them. He just wants to be sure they're a worthy enough team, that's all.

 

COLE

No favouritism shown at all to the Queen, of course, I see. Well either way, the strongest unit in the OAOAST will be tested at Zero Hour, work visas pending I suppose. Maybe Landon ought to mislay that paperwork a little longer. Now, folks, the former World Heavyweight Champion is here tonight. As we heard last week, he's put the challenge out to Krista Isadora Duncan for a Lumberjack Match at Zero Hour. Will tonight be a night long recruiting mission for Leon... and who is he possibly going to find, considering all the friends he's alienated?

 

COACH

Trust me Michael, when it comes to ruining Krista, there's a lot of common ground to be walked in that backstage area.

 

TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT

KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS ????

TONIGHT!

[Patty O'Green 0]

I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls!

When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside

I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide

I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride!

I date a girl who whips my hide

And my 12 inches is my greatest pride

I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls!

 

"Womanizer" by Britney Spears pumps through the arena, as Mister Dick pumps through the entrance. Sneering at the capacity crowd, Mr Dick flicks back his growing blond locks and gives the crowd a good look at his glistening abdominals.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas... weighing two hundred and thirty eight pounds. He is accompanied to the ring by MALAYSIA and represents THE DEADLY ALLIANCE... "THE HUMAN HARD ON"... MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

The Phallic Phenom slides into the ring, guided by a gallon of baby oil. He goes to work on the ring canvas before getting to all fours, at which point Malaysia MOUNTS her man.

 

COLE

Mister Dick, no doubt about it, one of the best put together athletes in the OAOAST. But despite all that, it was near embarrassment at AngleSlam when he almost lost the Arm Wrestling Challenge to Biff Atlas.

 

Though he’s not dominating the Human Hard On, Biff is firm control of the contest. The possibility of a loss frightens Mister Dick deep into his heart. It forces him to exert all his might to battle back against Biff’s assault.

 

COLE

Like I said earlier, Biff used to be a powerlifter and body builder, strength has always ran in his blood.

 

COACH

Yeah, its just intelligence that is out to lunch.

 

“BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!” San Juan sings, giving Biff the added momentum he needs to push Mister Dick’s arm even closer to the table. Sweat rips a path across Mister Dick’s face, a product of his continual fretting over a loss. His worries are not unfounded; Biff continues to press his advantage, endangering Mister Dick’s hopes of a victory.

 

COLE

It could be over soon! And how would Mister Dick show his face to the rest of the Deadly Alliance if he lost this arm wrestling contest?

 

We may never know the answer to such a question due to a panic filled Mister Dick ripping his hands away from his foe. As the crowd boos, Biff looks at Mister Dick with confusion and a hint of anger. But, Mister Dick couldn’t care less about Biff’s emotions, and he leaps over the table to tackle the would-be super hero.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

The two trade hands on the floor, with Malaysia loving every second of the furious fight. Biff is able to use his (super?) strength to shove Mister Dick away from him. They both rise to their feet, and continue their crazed slug fest. Mister Dick resorts to using knees to attack his opponent. But Biff’s strong midsection reflects the attack, and he comes back at Mister Dick with more power than ever.

 

COLE

Its broken down here in Puerto Rico!

 

Biff stands near the ropes ready to pounce upon Mister Dick. But the Cocky Prick moves much faster than his foe, and he strikes Biff in the face with a Stiff Kick. The blow upends Biff, and sends him toppling over the ring ropes. But much to his amazement and the fans’ he lands on his feet! Strangely Biff is tickled with delight and wonder at his soft and safe landing. Such a harmless fall can only be attributed.

 

BIFF

I….I…I…I CAN FLY!!!!!!!

 

That mantra is chanted by Biff as he runs up the entrance ramp, eager to share his good news with Vinny.

 

As the video recap ends, Biff Atlas is already halfway down to the ring, with no music to accompany him. The perils of being in gimmick limbo! The sounds of cheers make up somewhat for the music though as Biff marches confidently down the aisle.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty two pounds... BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFF... AAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!

 

COACH

So, lemme get this straight. Homeboy lives in fear, car drives past him, thinks he's got super-powers. Wins a match by accident, thinks he's got super-strength. Can't win an arm-wrestling contest, gets kicked over the top by the face, lands on his feet, thinks he can fly. Who the hell is in charge of employing these people!? Do we not have an IQ test at any point in the process? And if not, can we please start!?

 

Biff climbs the ring steps and stands on the middle rope outside, looking out at the crowd. His eyes then gaze down at the arena floor. Biff starts to get a little fidgety and his right leg begins to hover, thinking of climbing to the top... but Mister Dick walks over and he quickly gets down. The referee moves Mr Dick back, yelling at Biff.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

So we've had the Arm Wrestling Challenge, now it's one on one.

 

Waving Biff towards him, Mister Dick jaws away, no loss of confidence. Getting up in Biff's face he gives him a shove. Biff lowers his head and starts shaking. Mister Dick gives him another shove and yells at Biff to "FLY AWAY", not realising that he's making Biff angry. After another shove, Mr. Dick just turns his back and mocks the crowd for cheering such a pathetic loser. But when he turns around, Biff hits the ropes and FLIES!!! with a crossbody block!

 

COLE

OH MY!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Scrambling to his feet, Mr Dick cuts an amazed Biff off with a boot to the gut and starts clubbing away at the back.

 

COLE

I can't believe it, he really flew!

 

COACH

Yeah, THREE FEET off the ground! Someone call Mulder and Scully.

 

Wild lefts and rights work Biff down to a knee, Mr Dick furious at being shown up and swiping at the air. Picking Biff up, he whips him to the ropes. Biff manages to duck a clothesline and wide-eyed, he FLIES!!! again... and gets caught.

 

COACH

Man, I think my Grampa could have jumped higher than that.

 

With disdain, Mr Dick executes a bodyslam on Biff. Flicking his hair gives Mr Dick a little more happiness and he slowly picks Biff back up, to deliver a second bodyslam. "WHO'S GOT THE POWER NOW?" he asks, as he drops down and starts doing push-ups, making kissy-faces at Malaysia.

 

COACH

Imagine being underneath that. Just imagine. Like being trapped underneath an earthquake simulator.

 

Mr Dick picks Biff up one more time and goes for a slow, deliberate bodyslam. But Biff slips out the back! Cursing, Mr Dick turns around and eats a right hand! A second! And a third! And with MD dazed, Biff rushes for the turnbuckles. Which confuses everybody, because Biff only makes it to the second rope outside before Mr Dick recovers and yanks him back in over the top. Biff is right back up though, hitting another series of punches. Again he heads for the top rope once The Cocky Prick is dazed. And again, he's dragged back in over the top before he can take flight.

 

COACH

You'd think if he could fly, he wouldn't need the top rope.

 

COLE

Well I don't think Biff is high on logic.

 

COACH

He's high on something. Gotta be.

 

Getting frustrated with his opponent, Mr Dick aims with a clothesline, but Biff ducks. Biff then dishes out a right hand. And a left. Then another right, before dropping Mr Dick with a clothesline! Getting the crowd behind him, Biff then exits the ring again and heads to the top.

 

COLE

Biff very drawn by that top rope tonight.

 

This time Biff makes it to the top and the crowd cheer just that, a true mark of what amounts to a success in Biff's career. Once he's on the top though, it takes Biff a second to get his balance. And before he can prove his powers of flight, Mr Dick shoves the referee out of his way and runs at Biff, using his Stiff Kick to knock Biff's foot out and CROTCH him on the top rope!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Mr Dick gets a warning from the referee about putting his hands on him, which he of course ignores. Hooking Biff up, he lifts him off the turnbuckles, carrying him to mid-ring with a delayed vertical suplex. Floats over into a cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Mr Dick gets into it with the referee again and backs him into a corner, threatening all kinds of unsavoury acts. That allows Biff to fight back to his feet, the fans still shockingly behind him as he powers up.

 

COLE

Mister Dick is taking his eye off the ball here.

 

After fully cussing out the referee, Mister Dick turns around to find Biff up and waiting, taking MD up onto his shoulders! Mister Dick manages to slip down the back though and club Biff in the back. Biff falls against the ropes and is lined up by Mister Dick, charging in with another Stiff Kick... but Biff ducks and MISTER DICK GETS CROTCHED ON THE TOP ROPE!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

And that evens things up quite nicely!

 

COACH

No it doesn't. Mister Dick has FAR more surface area to be injured in that situation!

 

Falling off the ropes to the outside, Mr Dick hunches over in pain. Biff sees his opportunity and yet again, starts to climb the ropes. But after about halfway, he climbs back down and leaves the ring.

 

COACH

I guess he saw sense, finally.

 

Biff walks up behind Mr Dick, grabbing him by the hair and throwing him into the announce table. The Cocky Prick is then dumped onto the table by Biff, who rolls back inside and now decides to head to the top!

 

COLE

Wait... wait a minute. What the HELL is Biff doing!?

 

COACH

I dunno but he's gonna kill himself if he tries!

 

COLE

Come on Biff, don't do this!

 

The referee tries to talk Biff out of what is at least a ten foot leap, from about as high up. Biff makes the mistake of turning to the crowd for advice though and of course they cheer, giving Biff the impression they believe in him, when really they just wanna see something cool like somebody's body exploding like a watermelon.

 

COLE

If Biff tries this, he has offically lost his mind!

 

COACH

I'm calling late slip on that.

 

Biff reaches the top rope and looks out at Mr Dick... way out at Mr Dick. After some second thoughts, he then stands and prepares to fly! Malaysia finally realises Biff isn't playing around and runs over into Biff's path, trying to protect her man. But Biff doesn't care and getting his footing, he sets... and LEAPS...

 

 

 

 

...AND FALLS ABOUT SIX FEET SHORT, ONLY SAVED FROM CERTAIN DOOM BY LANDING ON MALAYSIA!!!!

 

"......BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Oh... well... we knew it was ill-advised.

 

COACH

Damn. I mean... I knew he was gonna miss, but... I didn't think he'd miss that bad.

 

Picking himself up, Biff looks around wondering what happened to his powers of flight to have... not flown. And in his distracted state, he gets blindsighted by Mister Dick, who wipes him out with a clothesline from behind. Looking up into the ring, Mr Dick sees the referee counting and quickly dives in, managing to beat the count just before 9. Biff isn't so lucky and the ref calls for the bell.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match as a result of a count-out... MISTER DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The Human Hard On sticks around just long enough to have his hand raised in victory, before snatching it away and going to check on Malaysia. She insists she's okay and actually seems to be enjoying what pain she might be in. But it's enough for Mister Dick to go back over and put the boots to Biff some more.

 

COLE

And now, Mister Dick's may have the win, but he doesn't seem to be done with Biff just yet.

 

Clubbing away at Biff, Mister Dick drags him up off the ringside mats. He gives him a couple more right hands, before aiming him towards the barricades. A camera man quickly gets out of harm's way, as Biff is whipped right towards him...

 

 

 

...BUT BIFF MANAGES TO 'JUMP' OVER THE RAIL AND LAND SAFELY ON THE OTHER SIDE!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Hey! Biff saved himself!

 

Mister Dick's eyes bug out and so do Biff's, his flying powers apparantly restored! The Human Hard On rushes after Biff and goes to grab him, but Biff high-tails it and runs through the crowd, proclaiming his superpowers, leaving Mister Dick freaking out at ringside!!

 

COLE

Biff Atlas with another miracle escape! I don't know if I'd go so far as to claim he has superpowers, but one thing's for sure, his luck has done a complete 180!

 

COACH

That's the keyword alright, luck! He's lucky he didn't land right on his dome trying to put Mister Dick through our table and he's lucky he can still walk because he's running away!

 

We fade out with an image of Biff continuing to run away.

ZERO HOUR: GAME OVER

SEPTEMBER 27

PITTSBURGH, PA

 

COMMERCIAL

[Patty O'Green 0]

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by

 

Morgan Nerdly for...VOTING! What's that you say? No election? One year ago? Wrestling is always 1 or 2 years behind pop culture anyway.

 

 

COACH

Awwwwww, how can you call someone so sweet and little the tiny terror of Edmonton? You, Cole, are a monster and a degenerate of the first order!

 

COLE

Folks, due to technical difficulties, we were unable to air the main event matchup between Reject and Tha Puerto Rican at AngleSlam. However, we promised earlier in the week that we would air the closing moments of that match on this week's HeldDOWN~! So coming up next, you will see the exciting culmination between Reject and Tha Puerto Rican at AngleSlam!

 

*******************************************************

 

The match picks up as Reject and PRL are both laid out on the mat.

 

The referee counts...

 

1!!!

 

 

2!!!

 

 

3!!!

 

 

4!!!

 

 

5!!!

 

 

6!!!

 

 

7!!!

 

 

PRL sits up, and the crowd cheers. He gets to his feet, as does Reject, who throws a right hand, which is blocked by PRL, who returns fire! PRL continues firing off rights, then whips Reject into the ropes, and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Shoulder up!

 

PRL follows up with European uppercuts, then a CHOP~!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

And another!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

Reject goes to the eyes, then steps back, and goes for a spinkick...which PRL ducks, then catches him with a LATIN SLAM~!

 

COLE

PRL with the Latin slam!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Reject gets the shoulder up!

 

PRL picks up Reject, and sets him up in the corner, then attempts a bulldog...but Reject shoves him off, right into the referee!

 

COLE

Uh-oh, referee goes down!

 

Reject stops briefly to gain his composure, then stomps away at PRL. He picks him up, and executes a fisherman's buster! He stares at the referee for a second, who is still out, then waits for PRL to get to his feet. He sets up for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111...but PRL counters, into the LIGHTNING STRIKE~!

 

COLE

Great counter by PRL, but there's still no referee!

 

PRL crawls over and drapes an arm over Reject, at which point Arturas steps over the top rope.

 

COLE

Wait a minute! Arturas, the bear-man, is in the ring!

 

Arturas picks up PRL, and lifts him in a suplex, then lets him drop, catching him and drilling him with a spinebuster!

 

COLE

Don't let this match end this way!

 

Reject crawls over and drapes an arm over PRL, as the referee crawls over and makes the count...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! PRL gets the shoulder up, as the crowd erupts!

 

COLE

But no! PRL still with that fight left!

 

Reject gets to his feet angrily, and waits for PRL to get up once again.

 

COLE

Well, PRL escaped that, but you've got to think that the Eulogy will be enough to close the deal for Reject now!

 

Reject continues to wait, as the crowd cheers on a commotion in the aisle.

 

COLE

Here comes the Teal Tiger!

 

Reject cuts Tiger off at the pass, however, stomping away at him, then planting him with a DDT!

 

COLE

But Reject cuts him off at the pass!

 

Reject then motions to the crowd that he's going for the mask, and begins to remove it...until the crowd cheers even louder, when they see ALFDOGG sauntering down the aisle!

 

COLE

Wait a minute!

 

Reject also spots Alf, doing a double-take, looking back down at Tiger, then back at Alf.

 

COLE

Alfdogg is here!

 

Reject then turns his attention to Alf, shouting insults at him from inside the ring. Alf stops when he gets to the front of the aisle, and the two jaw at each other. Reject steps off the ropes...long enough for Tiger to drill him with a PELE KICK~!

 

COLE

Wait a minute! That kick!

 

Reject staggers backwards, right into the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111 from the revived PRL! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

He got him! A triumphant return for Tha Puerto Rican!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the match...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

 

Alf walks back down the aisle, not acknowledging PRL and Tiger as they celebrate in the ring, with Tiger flashing the Badd Boyz hand signal.

 

Then the match cuts out abruptly, as Coach begins a rant.

 

*******************************************************

 

COACH

An absolute travesty, Cole! It took three men to pin Reject at AngleSlam, PRL, his little buddy under a mask, and Alfdogg! What was Alf even doing there? He's retired!

 

COLE

He's only retired from wrestling in the OAOAST! He can still show up to the events if he wants to!

 

COACH

Well, guess what, the Deadly Alliance isn't going to take this lying down! Those guys will be back for you, PRL, Heat, and especially you, Alf, if you decide to stick your nose in their business again!

 

In the expensive surroundings of The Enterprise's locker room, we seem to have stumbled upon a business meeting, as Lorelei DeCenzo is in serious talks with Theodore Moneymaker. Christian Wright sits in the background, crunching the numbers. Seriously, he's doing paperwork. What else do you think he, as a wrestler, is paid to do?

 

LORELEI

If you do this, then we can get this damn problem out of our hair for good.

 

MONEYMAKER

Fine. You tell me how much you need to make this happen and it's yours.

 

LORELEI

Money no object?

 

MONEYMAKER

(chuckles)

Look who you're talking to. Christian!

 

Standing from his desk (yes, he even has a desk! Great contracts.) Christian walks over.

 

MONEYMAKER

See that Lorelei gets the cut she needs.

 

LORELEI

Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I know my way around the accounts by now. Leave it to me. I'll get what I need.

 

MONEYMAKER

Very well. Just make sure it gets done, becau...

 

Sensing the presence of someone else in the room, the conversation stops. The three needn't be worried about someone listening to their plans. But they are surprised to see Leon Rodez, skulking in to the room. He walks up, disgust on his face and not making any attempt to hide it. And to be fair, he gets disgust right back.

 

MONEYMAKER

Well well, what do we have here?

 

LEON

Can I have a minute?

 

Confused looks all around.

 

MONEYMAKER

Why would we want to hear anything you have to say, Rodez? Unless it's a grovelling apology for all the problems you've caused us over the years, in which case we're all ears.

 

LEON

I've got a...

 

The words stick in Leon's throat and he stops.

 

LEON

...business proposal.

 

LORELEI

No. You know what, before you say anything, I've got a bone to pick with you. What the hell do you think you're doing stealing away Morgan, that girl belongs with me and you've got inside her head, who the hell do you thi...

 

Lorelei is silence by a hand from Moneymaker, who seems intrigued with this 'proposal'.

 

MONEYMAKER

Thank you Lorelei. You're free to go.

 

Realising where her income's coming from, Lorelei reluctantly bites her tongue and leaves. Leon scowls over his shoulder waiting for her to leave, before turning back to Moneymaker and Wright.

 

MONEYMAKER

This ought to be interesting.

 

LEON

Let's get one thing straight first of all. I'm not here to grovel. Infact, I still despise the ground you two walk on and even standing so close to you is making me sick to the pit of my stomach, let alone grovelling on it. But there's somebody who sickens me even more and I know she does the same to you too. And who can blame you? Just think of all your money, all your power. You should be running this company by now, with the way this twisted world runs on greed and rewards the heartless. And yet you're not. And it's all one person's fault. (turns to Christian) Then there's you. And to think, I thought she'd robbed me of my dignity and self-respect. You really are pathetic.

 

Now appreciating that suggestion, Christian makes a move towards his old enemy, but Moneymaker sticks his arm out in front of Christian and blocks him off.

 

LEON

No need to be offended. It takes a wreck to know a wreck. Do you think one person in this arena would care if you lived or died? If it were somebody who mattered, sure, maybe a couple of them would shed a tear, before moving on with their lives and realising we don't really matter to them. But you wouldn't even get that. If she'd tied you up and thrown you off a cliff, they'd be wondering where the slide-whistle sound effect was to accompany it. Because she's turned you into a joke. You're not a wrestler. You're not even a man. You're a punchline!

 

MONEYMAKER

Is there a point to this!?

 

LEON

Aside from the fact that sometimes, bad things do happen to bad people as well? Yeah, there is a point. For everything she's robbed from you and every shred of dignity she's taken from him, she has broken me. And I'm not going to rest until I've broken her. Mind. Body. And soul.

 

Rubbing his chin, Moneymaker slowly begins to smile.

 

MONEYMAKER

Maybe you and I aren't so different after all, Rodez.

 

LEON

Oh, we are. Trust me. Except on this one thing. And that's the only reason I'm giving you so much as a second thought. Because you're an evil, rotten, black-hearted son of a bitch... and that's the kind of person I need as a lumberjack at Zero Hour.

 

Not sure whether to be flattered or insulted, Moneymaker glances at Wright. He still seems ready to tear into Leon. But realising what a nerve has been hit, Moneymaker turns back around and shakes Leon's hand.

 

MONEYMAKER

You've got yourself a deal.

 

As soon as the handshake is done Leon can bear no more and pulls away, one last scowl at Wright before he leaves the room. Wright is still seething, and unsure as to why Moneymaker is suddenly starting to chuckle under his breath.

 

COLE

Wow. This lumberjack match is already creating some unholy alliances

 

TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT

KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS ????

TONIGHT!

 

COMMERCIAL

[Patty O'Green 0]

Inside the ring are two PLATFORMS setup for the Last Kings of Scotland/Orange County Cobras joust.

 

BUFFER

OAOAST Marks, the following special attraction event is THE JOUST! The rules are simple: best 2/3 with both teams competing individually. In the event a third joust is needed, the winners of the previous two bouts will do battle. The only way to win is by knocking your opponent off their platform. Now let’s meet the participants!

 

“Protect Your Mind (2009)” by DJ Sakin & Friends cues and Queen Esther leads the Last Kings ringside, the pugil sticks in their possession.

 

BUFFER

First, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER… Europe’s finest athletes, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… SCOTTISH SCOTT and DANNY BOY… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The Last Kings bash each other with the pugil sticks to psyche themselves up.

 

COLE

I told you those guys are nuts. Look at them!

 

COACH

I see two warriors with hearts of gold, like when they helped Theodore Moneymaker a few weeks ago.

 

COLE

More like did his dirty work. But it was Simon and Ned who got the last laugh at Angleslam. They took care of Theodore Moneymaker that night and tonight they’ll take care of the Last Kings of Scotland.

 

“Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the crowd ERUPTS.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY… from Orange County, California, total combine weight 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The O.C. Cobras want to the ring with a purpose. Whether it’s a wrestling match or joust, they just want to get their hands on the Last Kings of Scotland.

 

COLE

A tremendous ovation for Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard.

 

COACH

Not surprising since there isn’t much to cheer about living in Hartford.

 

Before the joust begins Simon has the referee inspect both pugil sticks to ensure they haven’t been tampered, and then he and Scottish Scott take their positions. And so do THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB in the front row.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

They even brought their own food as Lucius grabs a couple of sodas and Slim Jim’s out of a TRASH BAG for him and Rico.

 

COLE

I don’t understand this at all.

 

COACH

What’s there to understand about two guys in the front row? They’re just trying to enjoy the show.

 

Molly lets the MGHFC know she’s got her eyes on them, to which they respond in a vulgar matter unsuitable for print!

 

REFEREE

Contenders, ready?

 

Simon nods.

 

SCOTTISH SCOTT

I’m a gladiator!

 

REFEREE

Gladiator, ready?

 

Scott nods.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

The bell sounds and the joust is ON. Scott and Simon both aim high with neither giving an inch, until Scott connects with 1-2 punch that knocks Simon off the platform.

 

COACH

 

MOLLY

 

Simon shakes his head in disgust.

 

SCOTTISH SCOTT

(clubs chest)

VICTORY~!

 

Queen Esther and Danny congratulate Scott as the official announcement is made.

 

BUFFER

The winner: SCOTTISH SCOTT! Last Kings of Scotland lead the series 1-0. Well now go to match #2.

 

Ned and Danny go up on the platform.

 

REFEREE

Contender, ready?

 

Ned nods.

 

REFEREE

Gladiator, ready?

 

Danny nods.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

A quick draw, Ned knocks Danny off following a series of body shots/blows to the head!

 

LUCIUS/RICO

 

COLE

Who’s laughing now, Coach?

 

COACH

Aw, shut up!

 

Molly and Simon celebrate with Ned while Danny pouts in the corner.

 

BUFFER

The winner: NED BLANCHARD! The series is tied at 1 apiece. We now enter the third and final joust.

 

Scott joins Ned on the platform and they wait for the signal.

 

REFEREE

Contender, ready?

 

Ned nods.

 

REFEREE

Gladiator, ready?

 

Scott nods, then drops his pugil stick which rolls outside near the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club.

 

COLE

Scott lost his pugil stick. Is that a forfeit?

 

COACH

Can’t be. The bell never rang.

 

Lucius switches Scott’s pugil stick with another one he had in the trash bag, unbeknownst to the O.C. Cobras and Molly.

 

COLE

Hey, wait a minute. Did you see that? They switched pugil sticks!

 

COACH

How can you tell from our vantage point?

 

COLE

We broadcast in HD!

 

Danny hands Scott the new pugil stick as the MGHFC get a jump on traffic.

 

COLE

Where are they going?

 

REFEREE

Contender, ready?

 

Ned nods.

 

REFEREE

Gladiator, ready?

 

Scott nods.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

Like he did against Danny, Ned gets off to a fast start, with Scott willingly taking the hits.

 

COACH

I don’t understand this strategy.

 

COLE

Neither do I.

 

Everything becomes clear when Scott takes Ned down with ONE SHOT.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

BUFFER

The winner: SCOTTISH SCOTT! Last Kings of Scotland wins the joust 2-1.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Simon jumps in the ring to check on Ned, who is now a BLOODY MESS.

 

COLE

What did Scottish Scott hit Ned with to cause that kind of damage?

 

COACH

Ned probably smacked his head hard on the way down.

 

COLE

No way. There has to be another reason.

 

And that reason turns out to be the pugil stick was really a SPIKED CLUB in disguise.

 

COACH

Now we know. How clever!

 

COLE

How despicable is more like it. They ought to be ashamed.

 

Scott knocks Simon out cold with the handle of the club, then he and Scott perform not one…but two DOUBLE TOP ROPE LEGDROPS!

 

COACH

Highland Farewell!

 

OAOAST officials rush the ring before the Last Kings can get their hands on Molly.

 

SCOTTISH SCOTT

(into the camera)

Now a crime has been committed.

 

COLE

So I guess the Last Kings are eager to face Simon and Ned in the ring after doing a number on them. Go figure. We need to take a break or something.

 

COMMERCIAL

[Patty O'Green 0]

Gimme them bright lights, long nights

High rise, overtime

 

Gimme them bright lights, long nights

Party till the sun is rising

High rise, overtime

Working 'till the moon is shining

Hot guys, fly girls

Never gonna say it

I feel on top of the world,

I feel on top of the world

 

Dancers, baby, lots and lots of dancers, dressed as sexy Revolutinary War soldiers (!?!?!!) fill the stage twirling and dancing around their bayonets. Sergeant Sexy herself, Krista Isadora Duncan appears in a navy miniskirt, white heels, and a navy tube top showing off her well defined stomach. She seductively kisses her belt before realizing that gold=not tasty, and heads to the ring.

 

BUFFER

The following NON TITLE contest is scheduled for one fall with a TV time limit of sixty minutes. On her way to the ring, from Los Angeles, California, she is a 19 time Angle Award winner, a two time OAOAST world champion, a four time tag team champion, the founder of FIT with KID, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, a New York Times best seller, a reality TV star, owner of two masters degrees, and a proud mother, she is your OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAAAAAN!

 

Many cheers fill the arena as Krista stops dead center at the base of the entrance ramp and tosses her head back in an alluring pose.

 

COLE

Well, Krista is just weeks away from a Lumber Jack match against Leon Rodez, and she is actually welcoming all her old enemies to challenge her at Zero Hour. I’m not so sure provoking them is a wise idea.

 

COACH

Krista’s got two masters degrees, she’s damn smart, but she’s also stubborn and pig headed as hell!

 

Krista gives the crowd exactly what they came for, with jaw droppin and erection poppin hanging upside on the third rope. She eventually swings herself upright and throws her world title up to spur on the cheers from the fans.

 

COLE

But who is Krista’s opponent in our mainevent? Who could it possibly be?

 

A long wait.

 

Long.

 

Long.

 

Long.

 

So very long.

 

Damn long.

 

Insanely Long.

 

Tortuously long.

 

Really long.

 

 

 

 

GO!

 

To un-explain the unforgivable,

Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.

By streetlight this dark night,

A séance down below.

There are things that I have done,

You never should ever know!

 

And without you is how I disappear,

And live my life alone forever now.

And without you is how I disappear,

And live my life alone forever now.

 

CROWD

 

Bolts of electricity smash onto the stage, generating blinding white hot sparks that fly every which way. The arena’s videoscreens all flash with the electricity that’s sure to be present in this very match.

 

COLE

I don’t believe it!

 

A final all powerful bolt of electricity descends upon the middle of stage. Stepping past its smokey remains is the youthful, cute, and deadly Morgan Nerdly. The crowd continues to react with shock and awe (pun!) at the girl who’s tiny frame fills out a pin stripped booty shorted romper. The former women’s champion paces to and fro across the entrance stage, staring a distrusting stare at Krista. The world champion looks back in confusion as she protests her opponent to the referee.

 

BUFFER

From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is a former OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!

 

Morgan stalks down the entrance ramp, casting her frightened and threatening glares at Krista.

 

COLE

Wow! This is either punishment from Sophie or Leon Rodez playing a cold calculated game and manipulating Morgan in his war against Krista.

 

COACH

Neither one would surprise me!

 

Can you hear me cry out to you?

Words I thought I'd choke on figure out.

I'm really not so with you anymore.

I'm just a ghost,

So I can't hurt you anymore,

So I can't hurt you anymore.

 

And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink?

Let me go, fuck!

So, you can, well now so, you can

I'm so far away from you.

Well now so, you can

 

Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the second. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence. Yes I copied that from AS, I’m sorry.

 

DING DING DING

 

Krista and Morgan circle each other after the bell, neither one removing their blue eyes away from the other. Morgan’s face reads empty and apathetic, while Krista’s tries its best to hide any sort of nervousness. Finally the two dangerous females come together for a lockup. The hold quickly evaporates though as Krista uses her size advantage to switch around Morgan into a rear waistlock. She attempts to lift the littlest Nerdly up for a German Suplex. But Morgan is a tad bit slippery and finds herself able to slide around Krista for a waistlock of her own.

 

“Normally, you’d have to buy me dinner before grinding my ass into you. That or a Cheery Coke.”

 

Against her sex charged judgment, Krista begins using her strength advantage to begin prying Morgan’s arms away from her body. This is a great success as she has little trouble gaining hold of Morgan’s left arm.

 

“This is going to hurt me way more than its going to hurt me.”

 

Krista slams Morgan’s arm down on her shoulder.

 

“I thought you said that’d hurt you more than me.” Morgan wonders blankly.

 

“FYI, my shoulder hurts to!” Krista complains.

 

Krista pulls and tugs on Morgan’s arm, trying to increase the damage within her limbs. Morgan, however, fights through the pain and anguish to roll forward and kip up onto her platform heels. This counter stuns Krista, which weakens her grip and allows Morgan to gain control of Krista’s arm. Krista continues to be surprised as Morgan lowers her to the canvas, and plants her knee onto her shoulder.

 

COLE

So far Morgan is doing more than holding her own in this contest and Krista looks a tiny bit surprised.

 

COACH

When you’re used to running through dudes a hundred pounds heavier, being grounded by a 5’1 teenager can come as a shock.

 

Krista is able to use her strength advantage once more to push herself and Morgan to her feet. She swings her knee into Morgan’s midsection, but the dangerous darling merely shrugs off the blow.

 

“FIT with KID worked for me.” Morgan says matter of factly.

 

Forced into a new strategy Krista swings her arm around Morgan’s neck into a headlock. But that hold results in Morgan stunning Krista with her strength and throwing her to the opposite ropes. The world champion comes roaring back and floors Morgan with a leaping heel kick. Krista stares at Morgan for several seconds, feeling a pang of guilt stabbing her. Pushing aside that emotion, she trots to the ropes. Returning, Morgan rolls onto her stomach to trip her up. But Krista leaps over her body and continues towards the ropes. When she comes back, Morgan leap frogs, forcing her into another run of the ropes. On her latest return, Morgan gets beneath her arm and arm drags her to the canavs.

 

Krista mutters, “This is getting just a little annoying.’

 

Annoying becomes painful rather quickly with Morgan tightening Krista into an armbar. Krista groans in pain and frustration and tries to power her way out the hold. That is made monumentally difficult by Morgan pressing her hand down onto her shoulder blade.

 

“Honey, if you let me go, I can promise you you’ll never hear anything out of Bosley besides his death rattle. I can kill innocents without consequences. My family is in the American government.”

 

Tempting as that offer may well be, Morga keeps her hold as she hauls the fitness queen to her feet. She then throws her into a corner. After Krista smacks against the turnbuckles, Morgan follows her in with a blind charge. Krista counters this by lifting her elbow and slamming it into Morgan’s jaw. As the littlest Nerdly girl stumbles backwards, Krista scoots up to the second rope.

 

“You’re getting a good ass shot right?” Krista wonders.

 

CAMERA MAN

 

Krista nods in satisfaction before flying forward with a cross body block. But Morgan rolls through as they tumble to the ground and ends up on top with a pin!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Krista throws her shoulder off the canvas. There’s no time to catch her breath however as Morgan peppers her with stomps to her injured arm. Despite the pain that Morgan inflicts Krista is able to lift her way upright. Unfortunately the moment she returns to her 5’10, Morgan springs into the air and her platform heel strikes Krista in the arm with an enziguri! Krista topples over, hurt and confused by Morgan’s dominance thus far.

 

COLE

So far Morgan’s doing better against Krista than men four times her size have done. I don’t think Krista is the only one surprised by that.

 

COACH

Damn straight she ain’t, I’m blown away also.

 

Morgan drapes Krista’s arm across the first rope, then stands atop the second rope. She jumps down trying to strike Krista’s arm, but the gorgeous champion yanks her arm away. This isn’t much of a problem for Morgan as the feisty teenager leaps backwards and drives her bare legs into Krista’s neck!

 

COLE

Its entirely possible that Krista didn’t come into this match taking her opponent seriously.

 

COACH

Krista never takes anyone seriously, I think what’s going on is that Morgan’s proving herself to be pretty damn good.

 

Krista stands up on her own voliation and is instantly pounced on by the rapid fire forearms of her fore. Morgan dazes Krista with the succession of strikes and then backs into the ropes. She springs forward and takes to the sky, only to be struck down by the dropkicking heels of the blond bombshell.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Krista nods to the approving crowd as she brings Morgan up by the back of her booty shorted romper. An irish whip is attempted but Morgan reverses it and sends Krista into the ropes. Morgan herself makes a late charge to the ropes, but this late attempt proves costly as Krista is able to spear Morgan right through the ropes. Morgan skids across the ring mats, before crashing into the steel barricade. Sore but not injured, she springs to her feet and looks worriedly at the audience. Security moves closer to her in order to prevent another violent outburst.

 

COLE

If Morgan wants in that six woman scramble match she has to be able to control herself, but I’m not so sure she’s able to do that.

 

In the ring Krista charges to the cables, acting as though she were about to torpedo into Morgan. The Private Eye slides out the way, but it was only a feint as Krista stops short on the second ropes. While Morgan collects herself, Krista creates a rush for baby oil in the home viewers, by grinding herself into the ring ropes and purring in ecstascy.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

Well that’s a unique feint.

 

Leaving the audience tantalized and wanting more, Krista quickly targets Morgan with a moonsault off the apron. Morgan again slides herself out the way, but Krista is thankfully able to make a course correction and land on her high heels. However, Morgan seizes her injured arm and attempts to whip it into the steel stairs. Fortunately Krista is able to reverse. Showing mercy, Krista lets Morgan avoid a collision with the steps and only throws her into the ring.

 

COLE

Krista showing an unusual bit of mercy there.

 

COACH

Krista’s….grumpy herself, so she might see some of her in Morgan.

 

Krista slides into the ring and hooks Morgan’s leg for a fall…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Morgan lifts her shoulder off the mat. Krista is quick to get back on the attack and pulls the cute Nerdly up to her feet. She strikes her with a European uppercut that staggers her back into the corner.

 

Krista comments “If you had my boobs, you’d be able to deflect those shots and provide comfortable pillows to homeless Africans.”

 

The Walk of famer then pulls Morgan away from the corner and goes for an irish whip. However, the tiny teenager reverses the hold and throws Krista into the ropes. Morgan strikes fast on Krista’s return, flourishing forward to take her down with a knee strike! Morgan then takes to nervously chewing on her silky blond hair. She continues to gnaw, as she goes for a pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Krista pops out of the pinfall!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Morgan grabs onto Krista’s vibrant yellow hair and begins pulling her upright. She hooks her into a frontfacelock, however that hold meets with failure as Krista shoves her away. The world champion leaps onto the secod rope, hoping to springboard backwards. But Morgan makes a stunningly fast recovery and shoves the fitness beauty over the ropes. To the fans’ horror Krista takes a nasty tumble towards the outside, coming down bad shoulder first in a heap in front of the announce table. Morgan looks worried, perhaps somewhat concerned over the damage she may have caused.

 

COLE

Folks, we’ll have more HeldDOWN in just a few seconds!

 

COMMERCIAL

 

OAOAST Windy City Spectacular

NOW ON DVD

 

RETURN FROM COMMERCIAL

 

Back from the commercial break, we find Morgan torturing Krista with an armbar.

 

COLE

So far Morgan’s impressive performance continues, getting more spectacular for by the minute.

 

Buzzlefoxer gets into Krista’s face, offending her with his rancid breath as he asks for her submission. His foul odor almost causes her to submit, but she decides against it and refuses to tap out. Morgan tightens on her hold, glaring back blankly at her whimpering opponent.

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

 

The fitness queen begins fighting to her feet, spurred on by the cheering audience members. Morgan tries her hardest to keep Krista locked down, but the walk of famer powers out the hold. Now free, Krista charges into the ropes and rushes back with a lariat. But Morgan is already prepared for arrival and arm drags her over. Krista hits the canvas, groaning in pain from her beaten arm. Morgan stalks around the ring, muttering to herself and unable to control her shaking.

 

COLE

Morgan has been after that arm this whole match and its paid with results.

 

Krista gets back to her feet under her own will power. But Morgan is right there to trap her arm in hopes of an arm ddt. But Krista counters by leaping into the air and wrapping her ten million dollar legs around Morgan’s neck to hurricanrana her to the canvas!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

A ten million dollar hurricanrana!

 

Krista bounds off the ring ropes, coming back just as Morgan rises to take her down with a high flipping lariat. Morgan is quick to her feet, and fires off a left cross. But Krista ducks the hold and pops up behind Morgan to grab onto her smooth, porcelain ass cheeks!

 

MORGAN

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Morgan swings around to strike Krista off her BUTT, but the agile babe is too quick for Morgan and hauls her downwards with a side effect!

 

COLE

Morgan’s living Life In The Fab Lane.

 

Krista takes off to the ropes opposite Morgan. She times her arrival to come back as Morgan sits up and nails her in the face with a running knee! As the fans cheer her flurry of attacks, Krista attempts a pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

Morgan pushes her way out the pinfall…

 

COLE

A very gritty display by Morgan here in Hartford!

 

COACH

How long can it last though?

 

Krista pulls Morgan to her feet in a side headlock. She then kicks her legs backwards, hoping to use her sommersault neckbreaker. But Morgan twirls her way out the hold and grabs onto Krista’s much lusted after tush.

 

KRISTA

.... ....

 

Much less pleasing is the arm stunner Morgan uses to further weaken her limb. The tiniest Nerdly girl returns to chewing on her hair, glancing nervously at the security guards that surround the ring. Suddenly Morgan’s face becomes stern with determination and she runs to the ropes. She springs onto the third cable and then rockets herself backwards with a lionsault! Krista slides out the way, but Morgan is barely able to come down on her platform pumps. She stumbles backwards, unfortunate as it allows Krista to trap her into a set up for a back suplex. Krista lifts her into the air, but then brings her forward driving her face down into the canvas.

 

COACH

That’s a move we ain’t see everyday from Krista.

 

COLE

That’s because Krista is usually fighting someone much heavier than she is. Like we said, she has the size advantage for once.

 

Clutching her sore arm, Krista attempts a pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Morgan manages to kickout, disappointing the audience.

 

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”

 

Krista brings Morgan off the canvas and tries to irish whip her into the corner. But Morgan reverses the hold and fires Krista into the corner. She rushes after the world champion, but eats a thousand dollar pair of high heels for her trouble. Krista then rushes forward to attack Morgan, but the dangerous teenager grabs onto her well insured legs and drops her to the canvas. The fans shriek in horror and wonder as Morgan begins attempting to turn Krista over with a Liontamer!

 

COLE

Just like Leon Rodez!

 

Morgan manages to turn Krista over, however that’s a minor victory as Krista easily reaches out to grab the ring ropes.

 

COLE

That could’ve been bad for Krista.

 

COACH

This whole match is bad for Krista.

 

COLE

I agree Morgan has been far from a walk in the park, and I'm not sure Krista knows what to make of her. She must feel sorry or sympathetic to Morgan because she's avoided her usual humiliating tactics.

 

Morgan returns to muttering to herself as she hunches over and awaits Krista’s rise. When Miss California rises, Morgan rushes forward to hook her for a bulldog. But as they run along, Krista shoves Morgan forward and the tiny cutie slams into ring posts. She falls backwards, cursing her luck and the severe pain in her lean torso. Krista takes advantage of her weakness by leaping onto the third rope and falling onto Morgan with a split legged moonsault!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks sing as Krista makes her latest pinfall effort…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Morgan gets her foot on the ropes.

 

COLE

Great tactic by the world champion and great ring presence by the former women’s champion.

 

COACH

Word, Josie is full of bunk if she don’t let Morgan in on the Scramble Match after this contest. You tellin' me after showing up like this against Krista she can't handle Melody Nerdly and her wack ass Mortal Kombat kung-fu craziness?

 

The two women get to their feet at the same moment, and begin trading strikes. Morgan manages to take a surprising upperhand by winging a right boot into Krista’s injured arm. She backs Krista into the corner, and then takes aim at her midsection with shoulder thursts. Due to Krista’s well toned abs the blows barely do any damage and Morgan is forced to return to elbow strikes to subdue Krista. She whips Krista into a far corner. But as she chases down the world champion, Miss California skates up to the third rope and roars backwards with a corcksscrew moonsault press! The fans rejoice in the attack, as Buzzlefoxer counts the ensuing pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas. Both women move upright, but its Morgan drawing first blood with an enziguri to Krista’s arm. The blond beauty tumbles over, besieged by pain in her arm.

 

COLE

Morgan going back to that enziguri to the arm.

 

Morgan hooks Krista’s legs for another pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Krista pushes herself out the pin, giving the Marks numerous reasons to cheer.

 

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”

 

Morgan pulls Krista back to her feet and attempts to whip her into the ropes. But Krista refuses to come back, hooking her hand around the top rope. She lures Morgan in and then strikes her with a whirling round house kick. The blow stuns Morgan but does not floor her. Krista solves that problem by leaping onto the third rope and bowling over Morgan with a leaping enziguri! Krista then gets jiggly wiggly with her luscious bottom, and the audience gets a strange and wonderful feeling in their lower regions.

 

"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone

And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone, dead and gone..."

 

COLE

What the?

 

Suddenly Leon Rodez appears on screen, wearing a typical scowl.

 

LEON

Hi Krista. How are you, its me Leon with some helpful advice. Turn around.

 

Krista turns around only to be taken onto Morgan’s shoulders for a standing fireman’s carry.

 

“OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Could it be? Could it be an upset?

 

Its an upset, but not of that kind, rather its an upset of rage as Leon Rodez appears to strike Krista with a copy of her best selling hardcover fitness guide! Krista falls off Morgan’s body, sinking into the canvas to clutch her wounded head. Buzzlefoxer has no other choice but to call for the bell.

 

BUFFER

Your winner as a result of a disqualifaction….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!

 

Morgan hangs back in the corner, her empty face soaking in the sight of Leon laying stomps into the woman she almost defeated. She seems confused, perhaps unable to ascertain why Leon costs her a possible victory. However, she makes no movement and continues watching Leon hammer away at Krista.

 

COLE

This is unbelievable! What kind of monster is Leon Rodez? Another after match attack on Krista!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Leon ceases the stomping, only doing so to get hold of Krista’s legs. Frowning towards the angry audience, he turns Krista over into his trademark Liontamer!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

No! Not this! Not this!

 

Referees and officials, and wrestlers such as D*LUX and the Christ Air Express immediately hit the ring to save Krista. Yet it’d take all the man power in the world to pry Leon Rodez away from the joy of tormenting Krista. Thus we fade out on the sadistic number one contender tormenting the champion.

 

FADE OUT