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Patty O'Green

OAOAST HeldDOWN 9/24/09

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PRESENTED IN HD

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

 

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-

-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-

-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

 

 

 

hd.jpg

 

We cold open where usually stands the OAOAST's interview stage, now stands a stage holding musical equipment, with three OAOAST technical crew members scurrying around like beavers trying to get everything prepared. Four more stand at the back, waving down a giant sign rig, shaped like The Heavenly Rockers' logo.

 

COACH

Alright, let's get this show started already!

 

COLE

Coach, we've only been sitting here for forty five seconds.

 

COACH

This right here is the real show, the show these people paid to see.

 

The sign is lowers into position, hovering behind the stage. And it lights up, showing no expense has been spared. A mic check is carried out, drowned out by chants of "ROCK - ERS SUCK".

 

LOGAN

LAS VEGAS ARE YOU REEEAAADDYYYYYY!!?!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

With the stage set up, the crew are run off by THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS, lead to the stage by a SEA of security personnel. Logan jogs out in front and bangs his head like a wildman before jumping onto the stage and raises his arms in the air. To boos. Not exactly the start you want to a concert.

 

LOGAN

I SAID LAS VEGAS ARE YOU READY, MAKE SOME NOISE BITCHES!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

COACH

What a commanding presence! He tells them to do something, they do it. We are in the presence of greatness.

 

Holly takes up her position on stage, but there's a hold up, as Synth first stops to join in prayer with Abdullah, stage-side.

 

LOGAN

HEY! Couldn't you have done that crap backstage?! This is Las Vegas, God's blindspot, don't waste your damn time!

 

Trying their best to block out Logan's ranting, Abdullah and Synth finish their prayer and head onto the stage. Yes, Abdullah as well for some reason. After a warm-up drum-roll from Synth, Logan calls for quiet and is met with yet more boos from a restless Vegas crowd.

 

LOGAN

Alright, we're gonna kick this damn thing off properly. We're in LAS VEGAS, NEVADA...

 

"YYYAAAAAAYYYYYY!!"

 

LOGAN

...the city The Heavenly Rockers built...

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

LOGAN

...SO LET'S KICK IT OFF!!

 

And so begins a Heavenly Rockers intepretation of Viva Las Vegas, Synth laying into the drums and Holly tearing at the guitar, while Logan's raspy voice

 

LOGAN

Bright light city gonna set my soul

Gonna set my soul on FIYAH

Got a whole lot of money thats ready to burn,

So get those stakes up higher

There's a thousand pretty women waitin out there

And they're all livin devil may care

And I'm just the devil with love to spare

So...

 

ABDULLAH

ۂۅەڿڼڜڙڜڗڕ

ۂۅەڿڼڜڙڜڗڕ

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

LOGAN

How I wish that there were more

Than the twenty-four hours in the day

Cause even if there were forty more

I wouldnt sleep a minute away

Oh, there's blackjack and poker and the roulette wheel

A fortune won and lost on every deal

All you needs a strong heart and a nerve of steel

 

ABDULLAH

ۂۅەڿڼڜڙڜڗڕ

ۂۅەڿڼڜڙڜڗڕ

 

ABDULLAH

ۂۅەڿڼڜڙڜڗڕ

 

LOGAN

...with your neon flashing

And your one armbandits crashin

All those hopes down the drain

 

ABDULLAH

ۂۅەڿڼڜڙڜڗڕ

 

LOGAN

...turnin' day into nighttime

Turnin' night into daytime

If you see it once

You'll never be the same agaaaiiiiiiin!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

Even with a flourishing ending, the performance doesn't go down well and boos sound out.

 

COACH

That's the best version of Viva Las Vegas I've ever heard... at least, I think that's what it was.

 

LOGAN

Oh yeah, we're rocking tonight Vegas! You're looking at the best in the world right here. I wanna point out real quick, these drums right here. These are no ordinary drums. These right here are drums used, on tour, and signed, by Whitesnake. You idiots heard of Whitesnake!? You better have. And these are their drums, as used by Whitesnake. Don't get it wrong, they weren't actually a gift of nothing. They didn't want to give them to us. But we MADE THEM! YEAH!

 

*drumroll*

 

LOGAN

Alright, let's get down to another song right now. We're gonna slow it down a little bit, take the mood a little softer... HEY, SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

 

Annoyed by the boos, Logan flips out and has to be calmed down by his band-mates.

 

LOGAN

We're gonna slow things down with this next song and I'm gonna dedicate to my babygirl, Holly. The girl this company couldn't keep down! They tried to put her out to pasture, but it ain't happening! This is the baddest bitch in the motherfucking world right here! And Sunday, she's gonna tear it up Heavenly Rocker style and take back that OAOAST Bitches Championship like you know she's gonna! And then...

 

.:CUE: "HERE COMES THE PAIN":.

 

COLE

What the...

 

The fans are confused, but not as confused at The Heavenly Rockers at being interrupted. The confusion gets even ore confusing as a rap beat starts to play over Here Comes The Pain. Logan demands to know what's going on, yelling at the security surrounding the stage to go find out what's causing the interruption. Before suddenly, a huge cheer goes up and out walks a tracksuit wearing, baseball cap backwards flaunting, cuckoo clock around the neck swagging, Alix Maria-Spezia aka GLOCK LESNAR!!!!

 

COLE

OH SNAPOLA!!

 

GLOCK LESNAR

Yo yo, cut the beat, can it like "My Name Is Earl". What the deal, Vegas? The Glock up in this piece, feelin' the love, feelin' the blood, no doubt about it. Yo, lemme apologise real quick, I don't mean to tread on no toes but I can't be doing with it no mo'! I been chillin' back in my domain with my crew, tryin' kick back on the cold ill, you know and then I hears this whack noise and I'm like did somebody turn on the audition portions of America's Got Talent where none of them actually have talent raising serious questions of irony? What the deal? So I goes roamin' and I gotta say you guys ain't doin' it real. Nah nah. See, where I come from, you gotta do it real. Life ain't a rehearsal where I come from. But you guys need a little more rehearsal, no disrespecting meant. How you gonna come up in here and claim like you the best in the world? Huh? How you gonna do that?

 

LOGAN

ENOUGH OF THIS! Security, get her the HELL out of here, NOW, before I kick all of your fat donut chomping asses! Nobody interrupts the greatest rock 'n wrestling band of al...

 

GLOCK LESNAR

Yo, yo, Logan! Logan! I'm real happy for you that you got your chief groupie and I'mma let you finish... BUT GLOCK LESNAR HAD THE GREATEST MUSIC VIDEO OF ALL TIME! OF. ALL. TIME.

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

LOGAN

GET HER OUTTA HERE! NOW!

 

Security begins to make a move on Alix and she throws her hands up in the air, telling them to "be cool" and protesting she's not "carrying no heat". The Heavenly Rockers watch on from the edge of the stage, furious that their homecoming performance has been ruined. With the security all out in front though, there's nobody guarding the back of the stage, from D*LUX, JADE AND MAYA!!!

 

COLE

HEY!

 

The crowd erupt as Maya picks up Holly's discarded guitar and takes a wild swing, sending Abdullah running for the hills. Logan and Synth turn around and are met with right hands from D*LUX, crashing the stage in a big way! Holly is tackled to the ground by Jade and a scrap breaks out between them, while Logan and Synth are sent tumbling off the stage courtesy of dropkicks from Tyler and Shayne!!

 

COACH

How dare these young punks ruin this great moment! HOW!?

 

Tyler and Shayne encourage The Heavenly Rockers to come get some more and Logan is ready to go, absolutely losing it. He's held back by Synth, as Abdullah drags Holly to safety from Jade. Security come back to restore some order and turn their efforts on The Heavenly Rockers to try and get them safely to the back. Which allows Alix to join D*LUX and the Duncan girls on the stage.

 

GLOCK LESNAR

Vegas, you want an encore!?

 

"YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!"

 

Jade immediately protests that she really can't sing and tries to talk Alix out of her idea. But singing isn't on Glock's mind. Together, she and Maya drag The Heavenly Rockers' prized Whitesnake drum set and tip it over, pointing Shayne and Tyler to the mic stands.

 

SYNTH

:o

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

Smiles form on Tyler and Shayne's faces, as Logan flips out again and has to be restrained by the security personnel. As does Synth, all spiritual peace and serenity vanishing the moment he sees his drums in danger. And The Heavenly Rockers can only look on as Tyler and Shayne raise the mid-stands in the air...

 

 

*THUD!*

*THUD!*

*THUD!*

 

*SMASH!*

 

COACH

AAAAHHHHHHH!!

 

COLE

There go the drums!

 

Once both drums are smashed, Maya jumps up onto the fallen set and breaks out into an air guitar solo. "Makes Me Wonder" hits and Logan vows death and disembowling as he's carted away, while Synth is close to tears.

 

COLE

And this Las Vegas crowd is most definately prepared to GLOCK!

 

COACH

Only way this could have been worse is if D*LUX had sung. Still, a travesty.

 

D*LUX and Jade watch The Heavenly Rockers and Holly being removed from the arena with satisfaction, as the air concert continues behind them with Maya and Glock rocking out.

 

COLE

More HeldDOWN wackiness after these commercial messages!

 

COMMERCIAL

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We return from break to a hallway where Biff watches an old school scaffold match with Vinny Valentine. Vinny looks less than pleased with what he sees, while Biff scribbles down studious notes.

 

VINNY

Daddy-o, Daddy-o I feel your funk, I know you got something to prove, but rethink your course of action, this scaffold match could get you killed.

 

BIFF

I know the risks. I think about them everyday.

 

VINNY

Then wise up, baby, and call out sick!

 

BIFF

I can’t do that Vinny.

 

VINNY

Yes you can!

 

BIFF

I’ve let people like Mister Dick push me around all of my life. Even when I started body building, it happened. I thought the muscles and the strength would protect me. But it doesn’t. It’s the strength inside that counts, and I’m stronger than I ever was before. Mister Dick has got to learn his evil won’t go unpunished.

 

VINNY

You already beat him once, baby. Don’t push your luck!

 

BIFF

Vinny, I can fly.

 

VINNY

Not this again.

 

BIFF

I can fly. I’m special. I was meant for so much more than bodybuilding, or hawking Greenpeace pamphlets, or hiding beneath a desk because I’m afraid of the entire world. My destiny is beyond all that, but its not beyond reach. I....I.... I can save the world, Vinny.

 

VINNY

Save it from who?

 

BIFF

From people like Mister Dick.

 

Biff goes back to taking notes while his partner hangs his head in sorrow.

 

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Backstage we find Maggie Nerdly standing in front of a locked door, looking highly frustrated. From behind the door come Morgan’s tortured cries.

 

MORGAN

Go away!

 

MAGGIE

Sis, I just wanna interview you!

 

MORGAN

No! Go away!

 

MAGGIE

Dang, don’t make my job a pain in the BUTT. Just get out here so I can ask ya some questions about our scramble match.

 

MORGAN

I don’t….I can’t!

 

MAGGIE

Come out!

 

MORGAN

Please leave!

 

MAGGIE

Morgan, get your BUTT out here now!

 

MORGAN

I can’t control it!

 

MAGGIE

Control what?

 

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

 

Worried, Maggie kicks the door open (lot of power for a little girl) only to find Morgan sprawled out on the floor a victim of her own electrical attack.

 

MAGGIE

Oh no. Mom is gonna be pissed the hell off!

 

COMMERCIAL

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We return from break and “Protect Your Mind (2009)” by DJ Sakin & Friends cues and the Last Kings of Scotland march ringside.

 

BUFFER

The following NO HOLDS BARRED match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Last King of Scotland, SCOTTISH SCOTT… representing ALL THE QUEEN’S MEN… DANNY BOY!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Danny flips the crowd off as “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent, accompanied by SIMON SINGLETON, one-half of THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS… “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Danny Boy and Ned pick up right where they left off this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated, going toe-to-toe in the aisle way.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

Ned gets the better end of the exchange and whips Danny against the steel steps. The action spills inside and Danny gets rammed into the buckle, and then stomped repeatedly in the corner.

 

COLE

Despite not being cleared to wrestle until Zero Hour, Ned said he could still fight and boy, he wasn’t kidding!

 

COACH

Ned’s an idiot for wanting this match. He won’t even make it to Zero Hour after Danny gets done with him.

 

Irish whip, and Danny is floored by a clothesline. POINTY ELBOW follows and then Ned decks Scottish Scott off the apron!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Ned goes back to work on Danny, shooting him in for a backdrop, but Danny puts on the brakes and drives Ned’s head to the mat!

 

COACH

What did I tell you, Cole? Ned signed his own death warrant!

 

Danny stomps Ned in the head.

 

Again.

 

And again!

 

Danny executes a gut wrench backbreaker, then delivers a knee drop.

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

Danny wants to inflict more punishment. He smashes Ned into the buckle and hammers him upside the head.

 

COLE

I hate to admit it, but you may be right, Coach. It’s looking more and more like Ned made a mistake asking for this match.

 

Ned gets caught off the ropes with a high knee. Flat on his back he watches Danny climb up top…then moves to avoid a diving head BUTT!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Ned fires away on Danny, then shoots him in for a BAAAAAACK body drop! Ned backs Danny in the corner and unloads from the middle rope.

 

ONE!

TWO!

THR-- NO!

 

Danny looks to counter with an inverted atomic drop, but Ned answers with a clothesline!

 

COACH

If Ned’s smart he’ll quit while he’s ahead.

 

COLE

You wish. He’s about to pick up the win.

 

Scottish Scott hops on the apron only to be confronted by Simon, his plan the whole time as it also distracts the referee and Ned, allowing him to toss THE SPIKED CLUB inside to Danny.

 

COLE

We’ve got big trouble here.

 

While the referee tries to get Simon and Scott down, Danny takes aim at Ned, who ducks and lands a kick to knock the spiked club out of Danny’s hands, which he uses himself!

 

COACH

What?!

 

Simon decks Scott as Ned makes the cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!!!

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner… “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Simon and Ned have all the momentum going into Zero Hour!

 

LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND

:angry:

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Backstage at the Interview set (what happened to the interview lounge) Terry Taylor stands beside OAOAST World Champion, Krista Isadora Duncan

 

TERRY

Krista its been a tough couple of weeks for you, as Leon Rodez has gathered up an army of your own personal rouge’s gallery. Mister Dick, Theodore Moneymaker, Malaysia Nerdly, these are just some of the names of those who will be ringside in your world title match at Zero Hour. What are your thoughts?

 

KRISTA

Honey, I’m used to it. We Jews have had it pretty tough, with Palestine, the holocaust, and Howie Mandel. Lets make a deal? I’ll make a deal, alright, get off my TV and I won’t punch you in the face. I digress, my struggle and my pain at Leon Rodez’s hand is just another example of Jewish persecution

 

TAYLOR

Are you comparing what you’ve gone through to the Holocaust?

 

KRISTA

Do you see anything wrong with that? They survived Nazi takeover, I survived several tedious Leon Rodez skits. Where’s my damn memorial? Where’s my musueam? Where’s my Stephen Spielberg movie? That’s what I want to know, answer that you anti Semitic creep!

 

TERRY

I love Jews! Woody Allen is my favorite director.

 

KRISTA

Only because you share his affinity for teenage girls half your age. Too Catch a Predator is watching you, you ain’t safe. You know who else isn’t safe? Any utterly insane, gigantically stupid, erection dysfunctional OAOAST su…su…su…must I call someone renowned for humping the ring canvas and masturbating on another man a superstar? Anyway, any idiot that bought Leon’s rather large stinking pile of crap and decided to become a lumberjack is in deep, deep, deep trouble. Terry, I’m talking your wife walking on you as you lie in a naked tender embrace with your pool boy.

 

TERRY

Oh Pepe!

 

KRISTA

Oh pepe, indeed my friend. My darling LeeLee has given me a gift that makes me feel even better than wearing thong underwear backwards. He has lined up all my greatest enemies in one location for me to drop the most devastating sonning since some other lethal sonning, I can’t think of one right now. Originally I was going to have to ensure these peons and fools’ careers remained buried underground next to the Pet Rock, POGs, and many other unfortunate instances of American pop culture. But, I’d have to do it one by one. Do you know how hard it is to stash a flesh eating virus in a pack of condoms, or how hard Alix had to look on the black market for water proof smart bombs to stick in toilets? The logistics were just plain outrageous, honey! I hadn’t a clue how I was to proceed, and then Leon Rodez gave me the gift of a lumber jack match. He lined up all my greatest rivals and enemies all in a neat little roll, and said “Krista go to town, baby, go to town!” And go to town I will…I need to pick up some Mister Clean from Target. And once I’m done making my floors look spic and span, bit of a racist term don’t you think, I’m gonna mop the floor with these poor misguided lumberjacks. Imagine the possibilities! Singing songs from Mama Mia with Rico while Logan Mann picks up the shattered remains of his guitar that I smashed over Theodore’s head. Or Malaysia purring softly as grab her ass, while inserting a rather large maritial aid into Mister Dick’s. The possibilites are endless and they are wonderful! So very, very, wonderful. I haven’t looked this forward to a wrestling match since Alix bought home buckets of mud and four strippers.

 

TERRY

But what about Leon Rodez? You still have to beat him.

 

KRISTA

What about Leon? I’ll save the greatest humliation of all for my precious Lee-Lee. He’ll have to live with the thought that he has horrible morning breath, and that no matter how hard he may try or what schemes he may concoct, he has never ever beaten me in four separate tries. I wish I had a catchphrase because I don't know how to end this interivew.

 

TERRY

How about, thanks and have a good night?

 

COMMERCIAL

 

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ZERO HOUR SHILL

 

We cut to Tony Brannigan inside the Shill Center.

 

BRANNIGAN

This Zero Hour shill is brought to you by the gossip spewed daily on…

 

THE OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE~!

Gossip so hot you gotta wear earmuffs when calling!

 

BRANNIGAN

Tonight we’re coming to you LIVE from the home of AngleMania IX, Las Vegas, Nevada, but in just a few days we’ll be in the city of Pittsburgh for Zero Hour. And what a week it’s been for the Steel City. First hosting world leaders at the G20 summit and this Sunday night the superstars of the OAOAST. Although the event is sold out, you can still catch all the action LIVE as it happens from the comfort of your very own home on pay-per-view. Just listen to what’s on tap. In a lumberjack for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title…

 

2nk5e69.jpg

OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

LUMBERJACK MATCH

Leon Rodez vs. Krista Isadora Duncan ©

 

BRANNIGAN

And the lumberjacks, many personally selected by Leon Rodez himself: Mr. Dick, “The Ultimate Combination of Beauty and Beatdowns” Malaysia Nerdly, Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, Rico De Janeiro, Lucius Soul, Logan Mann, Synth Abdul Jabbar, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, D*LUX and Vinny Valentine. But Leon won’t be the only Rodez in action, so too will the niece he once thought was his sister!

 

33c6t5w.jpg

OAOAST WOMEN’S TITLE SCRAMBLE

Jade vs. Holly vs. Maggie vs. Sophie vs. Morgan ©

 

BRANNIGAN

Imagine the kind of money those girls would make in a feature film. A big Hollywood production, of course. * laughs nervously *

 

nwlh8x.jpg

GRUDGE TAG TEAM MATCH

Last Kings of Scotland vs. Orange County Cobras

 

BRANNIGAN

Wild as that match will be, this one will be even wilder!

 

mcgme0.jpg

HEARTLAND INVITATIONAL CHAMBER OF HELL V

The Teal Tiger vs Thunderkid vs Denzel Spencer vs Colombian Heat vs Colin Maguire Jr. vs. Sandman9000 ©

 

BRANNIGAN

It was at this event 2 YEARS AGO that Sandman9000 won the Heartland title. Will it be a happy anniversary or a bitter pill to swallow? Find out this Sunday night as the OAOAST presents Zero Hour!

 

COLE

Sandman versus Teal Tiger! Next in our mainevent!

 

COMMERCIAL

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We come back from commercial with The Teal Tiger hammering away on Sandman9000.

 

COLE

We're back here on HeldDOWN~!, with this one-on-one confrontation which has just gotten underway between the Heartland champion Sandman9000 and The Teal Tiger, who has the early advantage!

 

Tiger pummels Sandman into the ropes, then sets up an Irish whip, which Sandman reverses. Tiger ducks a clothesline, and floors Sandman with one of his own! He then backs Sandman into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

And another!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

Tiger then climbs to the middle rope, and begins to unload on Sandman as the crowd counts along!

 

1!!!

 

 

2!!!

 

 

3!!!

 

 

4!!!

 

 

5!!!

 

 

6!!!

 

Sandman brings Tiger out of the corner for an inverted atomic drop, but Tiger manages to block it, and drops Sandman with another clothesline! Tiger picks up Sandman and whips him hard into a corner, and catches him with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK as he staggers out! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Tiger stomps away on Sandman, and Sandman rolls to the outside. Tiger runs to the ropes, then comes back and hits Sandman with a SUICIDE DIVE~!

 

COLE

Tiger with some big moves here early on!

 

Tiger gets to his feet and tosses Sandman back inside. Sandman scoots over to the ropes, where Tiger chokes away. Tiger then backs off, and charges...but Sandman ducks, and backdrops Tiger high over the ropes to the floor!

 

COLE

And Tiger over the top to the floor!

 

COACH

That was quite a fall Alf took!

 

COLE

Are you implying that it's Alfdogg under that mask?!?

 

COACH

...

 

Sandman gets his wind, then follows Tiger outside. He picks up Tiger, and delivers a European uppercut, then sets him up and whips him into the steel steps!

 

COLE

And Tiger sent right into the steel steps!

 

Sandman rolls back inside, and waits for Tiger to pull himself up to the apron. He grabs him and pulls him in under the ropes, into the corner, where he delivers some BOOT SCRAPES~! Sandman then brings Tiger out, and executes a snapmare, followed by a seated dropkick!

 

COACH

Sandman's on a roll now!

 

Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Sandman picks up Tiger once again, and executes a back suplex! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Sandman slides to the outside, and grabs a chair from ringside.

 

COLE

And keep in mind, this IS still under Heartland rules, but the title is not up for grabs here!

 

Sandman raises the chair in the air, as the crowd boos, then sizes up Tiger, and brings it down across his back! Tiger arches his back in pain, and rolls to the ropes. Sandman follows him, and chokes him with the chair, then releases, and Tiger rolls to the floor.

 

COACH

Sandman is in TOTAL control here!

 

Sandman poses in the ring, drawing more boos, as Tiger is rummaging underneath the ring. He pulls out a garbage can, unbeknownst to Sandman, who sizes up Tiger, then back into the ropes, and leaps over the top...only to be met with a flying garbage can to the face!

 

COACH

OW!

 

COLE

Sandman flying over the top, but Tiger hurling that garbage can at him and catching him in the face!

 

Sandman is reeling on the floor, while Tiger sinks back to his knees and attempts to regain himself. Tiger then grabs the trashcan, which was full of other assorted weapons, and pushes it underneath the ropes. He then tosses Sandman inside, and empties out the trashcan. He then tosses the empty can to Sandman, and superkicks it back into his face! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Tiger then sets the can in mid-ring, and grabs Sandman in a standing headscissors.

 

COLE

Could be a powerbomb Tiger's setting up here...

 

Sandman blocks, however, and backdrops Tiger onto the can!

 

COLE

But it backfires!

 

Sandman drapes an arm over Tiger...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

Sandman grabs a small road sign that was in the trash can, and brings it down on Tiger's head! He then lays Tiger down on the steel chair, and climbs to the top rope.

 

COACH

This could be it if he hits this, Cole!

 

Sandman gets his balance up top, and leaps off with a SENTON BOMB~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Shoulder up!

 

COLE

Not yet!

 

Sandman picks up Tiger, and backs him into a corner, and delivers a European uppercut...and Tiger fires back with a CHOP~!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

COLE

And look at Tiger fight back!

 

Sandman backs Tiger up again, and delivers another uppercut...and Tiger returns the favor again!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

Sandman backs up Tiger one more time, and delivers another uppercut, and Tiger responds a flurry of CHOPS~!, but Sandman thumbs him in the eye, then backs him into the ropes, and attempts an Irish whip. Tiger reverses, Sandman ducks a clothesline...but gets caught with a AA SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE CHAIR~!

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

COLE

Spinebuster right onto that chair!

 

Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, then work to their knees, and begin to exchange fists. Tiger starts to get the better of the exchange once the two move to their feet, then Sandman takes a big swing, which Tiger ducks, then spins Sandman around for a BELLY-TO-BELLY~!

 

COLE

Belly-to-belly, and now it's Tiger maybe looking for the kill here!

 

Tiger follows up with a T-BONE SUPLEX~!!, and Sandman quickly retreats to the floor. Tiger follows, ramming Sandman face-first into the steps! He then takes him to the next corner of the ring, and rams him into the ringpost! He then rolls Sandman back inside, and climbs to the top...but spots Thunderkid running down the aisle, and instead catches him with a flying bodypress to the outside!

 

COLE

Thunderkid arrives, just in time for that move by the Tiger!

 

Tiger slugs away on TK, then tosses him inside, where he continues the assault until Sandman levels him from behind. At this point, Denzel Spencer slides into the ring to even the odds!

 

COLE

And there's Denzel! Another of the participants in the match Sunday!

 

CMJ and Heat slide into the ring soon after, and all hell breaks loose as the referee calls for the bell!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

And the referee has thrown this one out!

 

COACH

Not sure about the logic in that one, seeing as weapons were allowed to be used, but OK!

 

Officials pour out of the locker room, as the six men continue to brawl.

 

COLE

And this is just a sample of what's to come in the fifth annual Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell, this Sunday at Zero Hour!

 

FADE OUT

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