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alfdogg

HD: segment

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Backstage, Vinny Valentine, Deadbeat Dave, and Tony Tourettes are seen playing UNO.  Dave puts a card down, then Vinny looks at his hand, and picks up another card from the deck.  Tony then slams his last card into the pile.

TONY
I WIN, BITCHES!

VINNY
What?

TONY
That was my last card!

VINNY
Wait...you didn't say Uno!  You don't win!

TONY (picks up deck)
LIKE HELL I DON'T!  I got rid of all my cards!

DAVE
You gotta say Uno, man.  That's the rule.

VINNY
And if you don't, you have to draw two more cards, so pick 'em up, bitch!

Tony ponders this for a second, then throws the deck of cards in Vinny's face.

TONY
FUCK YOU, I WON!

Suddenly, a knock on the door.

LUTHER (off-screen)
Somebody order a large pepperoni dick wit' a pizza on top?

Luther hops through the door, holding a pizza box over his pelvic area.  Fortunately, the box is still closed.

LUTHER
Man, what the f...

Luther turns into the corner, then tosses the pizza box down and zips up his pants.  He then slaps Waldo in the head.

LUTHER
This ain't Jade's locker room, foo!

Waldo laughs while rubbing his head.  Mariano and Quincy walk into the room, as well.

LUTHER
It ain't funny, nigga!  I just wasted that pizza, too.

VINNY (chuckling)
Just give it to Tony, he'll probably eat it!

Tony lunges over the table for Vinny, causing it to fall forward and spill him on his face.

MARIANO
You v-squared, you got the shit or what, mang?

Vinny pulls out a big bag of discolored marijuana.

QUINCY
Man, what the fuck is that shit?  Cheap-ass white boy, we ain't gettin' lit on that shit!  Look, all the stems n' shit's in dere!

VINNY
Hey, don't call [i]me[/i] cheap, Mr. Most Likely to take his prom date to McDonald's!  I don't see any of you carrying no grass!

MARIANO
See, you wrong there, homie!  It just so happens, I brought my backup stash, just in case you screwed this up.

Mariano pulls out the sack.

LUTHER
Way to think, baby!

TONY
Well, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE WAITING FOR?  SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN!

The BB's sit down.  Waldo sits down next to Dave.

WALDO
Nigga you musty!  You like the missin' Teletubby, Stinky Winky!

LUTHER
Or 'dat old president, Abe Stinkin'!

VINNY
It's alright, once we light this shit up, you won't even notice it.

Off-screen, the door opens.

BIFF (off-screen)
Hey!  pizza!

LUTHER
...help yo' self, man!

Everyone at the table laughs as they roll up joints.

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